The Little Universe

Here's something a bit different and quite exciting. "The Little Universe" appealed to me right away from the book description. Scientists creating a microscopic universe and then watching how things develop--fascinating! So, the bottom line is I'm already in at the very beginning.

The good news is that I'm still in now that I'm reading the book, and I'm loving it. The stroke of brilliance here at the beginning of the book is that Jason Matthews chooses a narrator that is kind of an everyman, somebody that an audience will identify with, and also somebody who can look at the scientific achievements and results with the state of awe that we (most of us, at least) would be in. Jon Gruber is a neatly drawn character, a handyman who is picked mostly for his ability to fix things. He is a friendly, dependable man who is able to tell the story in a straightforward way. I like him!

Webster Adams is also well-drawn, but at the beginning we get to know him mostly through his journal entries and through Gruber's point of view.

All in all, this is an excellent, well-written, intriguing beginning with some fantastic dialogue and characterization. I look forward to reading more.

High-starred and on my watchlist for future backing.

I'm not a fan of the big band theory myself, but I love the way you bring the idea across. Your dialogue and your characters come to life in this story. I must say I was intrigued and I wanted to know where the rest would go.
Your writing is good, it flows well and like I said your characters are 'real', they jump off the page.
This is such a great book and I'm going to star it highly.
Junetee
FOUR CORNERS book one.The Rock Star..

I read part of The Little Universe.

Your speeches are real...

"I wasn't a success, was I a loser"? I used to ask myself said question

"My leg laboured to turn the pedal on the bicycle"? that's me in winter with no driving licence and public transport unreliable. I rode my bike but the cold and crappy food that I ate made pedalling a struggle.

I'm still reading but enjoyed thus far

Highly starred

deep and delightful

much thanks :)

deep and delightful

An exraordinary book, Jason. What agreat imagination you've got. Backed and starred.

This has been on the site for a long time. I really enjoyed what I read and wish there was more of it. Didn't nit-pick as you've already got lots of comments.

SF42 sci critique group

Hi Jason

I've read 2 chapters, and I like it. My notes, such as they are:

'I pedal(l)ed quickly past...'

Perhaps a note about how his hands feel, going from the freezing cold into the warm? Or maybe that would take away from what you want.

'Adams was highly educated and used to wealth, while I was neither.' Might read a little bit better.

'a command central'?

Wouldn't Jon be wondering where the wife is, and why he never sees her?

Oh, so he did know... I'd say you wasted an opportunity for evoking a bit of emotion in the reader there. If you allowed us to think she was still alive (ignoring the pitch, that is), and then Jon eventually can't help but ask why he's never seen her, and we get the news at the same time.

You say 'now I learned she was a scientist as well', but Adams already mentioned earlier that she was.

As nice an image as it is, the lost-love-laughing-while-on-swing photo is somewhat overused, and may be more cliche than touching at this point. Then again some might argue that a photo of a laughing love is cliched no matter how it's done. Those people are idiots, I think.

Apparently, God created us in his image. The idea is that we are creators like him/her/it ('know ye not that ye are gods?'), not that any religous person would say so! So I'm curious as to what it is Adams thinks his ability to create says about the first creator, who or whatever he thinks that to be.

I'm also curious as to how he thinks he can control the size of this universe, and how he supposes he'll prevent the damage the black/white holes would do.

I can never understand the stupidity of people blabbering things that quite clearly shouldn't be blabbed about. And he's not even drunk.

That's all that came to me. It is very well written. There are places where I'd use a comma and you haven't, but that may not be a matter of right or wrong. I'm particularly interested in the wise aliens, and not keen at all to get to the inevitable exploitation. I'm also interested in what underlying point you're making, intentionally or not. I can imagine this as a film similar in some respects to The Fountain. I have no doubt it will do well, and I'll back it. Good luck :)

I'd appreciate it if you have a chance to have a read of, and comment on, my own book, too. Thanks :)

LITTLE UNIVERSE
This is an interesting read. I like the way you’re interspersed the journal blogs into the story; it’s a good way to introduce suspense and a glimpse into where the story is going. John is a good character; I like the way he only used a bicycle instead of one of those overloaded carpenter trucks. Made him unique. Overall, the story is a good mix of mystery and sci-fi. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

just read the first chapter, i enjoyed it and i like where it's going. nice work, very cool concept for a sci-fi book.

Finished the book and was sad to reach the end. Just realised I hadn't even put it on my Authonomy bookshelf though I had it in my kindle and was reading it there. i've backed it now. You hear about "Mind/Body/Spirit" books and it all sounds great but it turns out most of them are non-fiction. I always want to read fiction stories with some kind of MBS premise. I finally got my wish with this book.
I couldn't put it down and loved every minute. Can't believe someone could have dreamed this up. I've never read anything like it before - it is so different. I was worried from the pitch that it might be a bit of a bible bashing type of story but no way. Spiritual themes yes, religious ranting no. Perfect balance. This author has my own attitude to things spiritual. He understands that the new religion is about the environment and our respect for it and this comes through in the story. He also has a feel for the beauty of the universe and an understanding of the connectedness of everything and that is what this book is about. There are so many parallels between what he is saying and what my own book says and yet you could hardly find two more different stories. I'm not talking about skill or crafting. I wouldn't be so egotistical to compare myself with Jason - I'm really only comparing the world-view behind the stories, which has big similarities. I gave this book all the stars possible. Will also review it on Amazon.
One little odd thing I noticed - not sure if it is just something that is a difference between US and Kiwi English, but Jason says shined, where I would say shone. Perhaps it is okay to say it either way. Not sure.

I'm also learning a lot about the e-publishing world from Jason's other book. I bought both on Kindle and am now off to grab, "Jim's Life". Jim was such an interesting character. A computer with a soul. I'd love to find out how he fares in his new life as a human.
One other thing - I just love the cover. A human hand touching up a galaxy. It says so much and looks stunning.

I am quite thunderstruck by this book. I have bought it as an e-book and am reading it on my kindle. I'm half way now and about to continue reading. I have a zillion questions but won't ask until I've finished in case they're answered in the book. I can only say what imagination and wonder however you could have made it up. Haven't been so impressed by a book premise for a very long time.

Good work. Paragraph 2, and onwards for a few paras are a bit 'telling', you started the first chap well with action, I suggest get on with it! Backstory can come out later. Overall though, good work! I liked the dialog, although a bit was a little stilty. The story premise is fantastic. I love to hear people's opinions on these things. If you do another edit, please let me know and I'll read through a bit more of your work. Best wishes for your success!
I found you, because I read your forum post about having to be 'hooked' in the first 50 words. I hope you get a chance to read a bit of my book, The Multiple Choice. I'll be interested to hear if I can hook you in the first few paras! :)

This has all the essential ingredients for intriguing and absorbing science fiction. The author skirts around the edge of complex science without baffling the reader. What could be more fundamental than re-creating the 'Big Bang'? It's a story that anyone who gives a thought to their existence would want to read. Well done.

Hi Jason ''the little universe'

read quite a few chapters of this gripping science fiction book. It' one great rollicking adventure tale, as they look to see if a god really exists out there
great writing, brilliant style, and one of the best in this genre on the site at the moment.
I got involved with the characters almost from the start, great originality'
six stars in this genre, and well deserved
tom bye 'from hugs to kisses'

You are such a skilled writer, everything you write has great potential. I can't believe a publisher hasn't snatched you up. This is the 3rd book of yours I am backing, and no doubt there will be more. Eunice - The Temple Dancer, The Poetic Voice of Soul.

You are such a skilled writer, everything you write has great potential. I can't believe a publisher hasn't snatched you up. This is the 3rd book of yours I am backing, and no doubt there will be more. Eunice - The Temple Dancer, The Poetic Voice of Soul.

You are such a skilled writer, everything you write has great potential. I can't believe a publisher hasn't snatched you up. This is the 3rd book of yours I am backing, and no doubt there will be more. Eunice - The Temple Dancer, The Poetic Voice of Soul.

I only read your pitch and first chapter (must go buy some ciggarettes...LOL). The genre is not exactly my forte, but you tell a good story in a strong voice, so I’m backing it.
If you want me to, I could return and give you a more in-depth comment.
Please take a look at mine…comment and backing will be appreciated.

This is splendid. I hope you've thought about how useful it would be as a learning resource. Cosmology made fun (for those strange people who don't already find it fun.)
RT

Jason,
I like your writing. Everything is moving. You are using active verbs all the time, which gives a sense of being involved and taken along with the plot - jogged, hauled,grabbed etc.

I will BACK this book.

Will you take some time to look at God of the Cocoa. I would appreciated a comment, and backing if you think it deserves it.

Thanks
Marilyn

Read your how-to on e-book publishing (worth its weight in gold) and headed on over here.
Your writing is brilliant.

Suz

Your brilliant science fiction tale grabbed me and kept me riveted. Credible characters. Interesting dialogue. Confident narrative. Vital writing. I absolutely love this masterfully composed story. Backed.

Thanks so much, Andrew. Best wishes for you and your projects as well. -Jason

A fantastic premise, one of the m ost innivative and interesting I have seen in the genre of sci-fi, and beautifully written.

BACKED

Interesting idea, and your writing style brings it along well. I think you've made good use of first-person. There are times when the word "I" dominates, which is hard to avoid, but if you can figure a way to write around that, those passages will feel less repetitive. But overall this is quite good, the characters and dialog feel real, and the writing is strong. Happy to back it for you.
Craig
The Job

What a clever concept. Rather reminded me of the story ‘Microcosmic God’. I’ve read three chapters and am enjoying this, although I feel when you edit it, you may want to omit some unnecessary detail, as it seemed to me to slow the action down.

What a wonderful premise. There is a soulfulness, no pun intended, in your writing. It touches the very essence of the loss of a loved one, that one chance to see them again, talk with them again and failing that just to know their soul survives in another place and you will see them again someday. I fell in love with this instantly and a superb scifi twist which in fact elevates the protaganists to the status of God, to whom all souls go. Completely backed

Dear Jason, I love your fantasy in science fiction - kind of reminds me of Teminator TV Series which is my very favorite - you've done an excellent job. :) Hope you'll write more. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Thank you for backing, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not." Could you take a moment to back my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

I found this premise to be fascinating. Right from the start, I was enthralled by the sheer effort and, beneath that, the thought that had gone into creating this piece. Not only that, but you keep your characters real and approachable, a human link to the compelling plot that acts as an undercurrent for this book.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

"...until frostbite forced a switch." If the damage has gone that far, he wouldn't be able to use his hands. I think you mean near frostbite as you have further on.

"...filled the downstairs with an array of colors..." An array of colors is imprecise. Your descriptions in other areas are much better. "...filled the downstairs with coruscating colors, like walking through a rainbow." You don't have to use the same word, but it is more descriptive and gives the sense of motion and color.

The basic premise of your story, that someone could create and maintain a miniature universe, is a novel idea; however, if beginning from an infinitesimally small point of matter and energy so dense that it could evolve into a universe, it would likely destroy everything around it for a very long way, creating another event horizon that would upset the balance and tear the fabric of space-time in our universe. Even a small Big Bang would be disastrous no matter how strong the field to contain it. I have to say I can't quite suspend disbelief enough to grok that one.

However, the writing is excellent and the characters three-dimensional even though I find Jon Gruber to be a bit unbelievable since he is a handyman building some pretty sophisticated and complex projects. Unless he prices himself way below the norm and doesn't get a whole lot of work, I can't believe he subsists on crackers and beer and can't afford a truck. I would believe it if he chose to live small, except for the crackers and beer, but am having trouble with him as a believable character . . . but then there's the writing. The writing is so good even though the premise is a bit flawed.

JMC

The Little Universe

I like how you start this with such a simple situation and then wham; you create a whole new universe.
The whole structure and style scream quality. This felt grounded and real and hooked me completely. A joy to read, I really liked the journal extract, added that bit extra. – Good luck

Jason, this is one of the most original pieces of Sci-Fi on the site. Your dialogue is pitch perfect and perfectly propels the narrative and your descriptions are rich and vivid. You are dealing with such complex themes yet deliver your prose in such an accessible manner. Fantastic
Carl
The Time Hunters

This is a very clever story: building a replica of the universe that so closely mimics it, it even contains aliens. It's good sci-fi. Most important, you have good characters; likable and sympathetic. Another strength is your dialogue; altho your characters are scientists you've made their dialogue a nice mix of tech and everyday talk. Makes this a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I think I will disqualify myself by saying that Sci Fi is not my genre of preference. I did read enough to see that you have excellent command of language and you are able to make the story come up close and personal. I think it should do well here.
Best of luck

Jason-

Your book is pure genius on a lot of levels.

First, you take scientific concepts that Carl Sagan couldn't even communicate to the lay person and present them in a manner we can all comprehend and relate to.

And second, you hang it all within an "intimate" (I know this is the wrong word here, but the correct one escapes me) story.

Big science made small and personal.

I love it, and I'm very happy to back The Little Universe.

Best of luck here, and I'd love it if you could take a look at my book.

Thanks.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

THE LITTLE UNIVERSE:

Jason,

A highly original premise and an intriguing pitch, which promises a roller coaster of a read.

This is really well written, which I suppose is not surprising since you've been to exposed to the world of literature and books in a big way. I love the dialogue - crisp and realistic, as though it's being spoken by real people. Excellent characterisation. And so many questions to answer.

A most appealing sci-fi romance.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

What an amazing concept. This book is well written and intriguing. I can see this doing very well. I've only read a bit now, but I"m coming back for more.

Jason, your first chapter is professionally written. I also liked the premise. I can't nitpick anything there. Good job.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Your pitch is intriguing. I like the build up to the story and you certainly write like a pro. Are you build ing a hedron collider?
Fascinating

The Little Universe is based on a highly imaginative and distinctive premise that promises endless possibilities for action and adventure as well as some thought-provoking issues about the nature of our own universe. The pitch drew me straight in - it is well crafted, as is the structure of your opening. I liked the contrast between Webster's journal and the mundane tasks of Jon Gruber in the introduction, and the use of Gruber's pov for the opening chapters works very well; my only niggle is to wonder why you don't follow through consistently with extracts from Webster's journal in each chapter [not just here and there] to keep the parallel contrasting threads running. Overall this has a pacy, easy style that works for me and I'll be happy to back it.

What a wonderful concept! It combines fantasy with the mundane in a very believable way. Well done. Backed.

I have just read your first chapter and I will be backing your book. I would have read and reviewed more but your complete rudeness toward me a few weeks back prevents me from doing so. I did promise a return read, tho, so here it is. This promises to be an interesting tale interweaving genuine science with science fiction. A regular sort of guy with a scientific genius. Your ‘voice’ seems right for this, too. Your writing is very good but seems to lack emotion which is very important to keep your reader interested. Your reader needs to root for your MC and they can only do that if they can relate to him. I have made a few comments but note that I am no expert. However, authors have told me that I’m pretty good at this….let’s see what you think….
CHAPTER ONE: ‘common and somewhat content’ He does not sound ‘common’. Perhaps the word ‘minimalist’ would work better? And I would delete ‘somewhat’ for tension. It’s hard to buy what your MC is selling if he is only ‘somewhat’ content. I don’t understand the paragraph that begins ‘His look was one of….’ If Webster admired him, why would he be wondering if he had made a mistake? I would delete ‘He stared at it for a moment, then continued up.’ because this does nothing for your story and the paragraph carries more story tension without it. I don’t understand why it wouldn’t be ‘bitter cold’ on the way home? I think you should give your reader a little more info regarding the process of the destruction of the wall…not much, but a little. And it’s a perfect opportunity for Webster to come see how things are going, through dialogue you can cement their ongoing relationship and give your reader more clues to each of their backgrounds, increasing the relationship between your MC and your reader. ‘a new machine with only a few scuff marks in the bed.’ Again, I would delete this as it is extraneous, not mattering to the story. I think you could find a better way to end your chapter and lure your reader onward.
Well, that is all I have time for at the moment. I do need to caution you as to your multitude of ‘-ly’ words such as ‘slowly’, ‘quickly’, ‘certainly’, ‘awkwardly’ and many, many more. In almost every case (the exception being dialogue), a sentence becomes stronger, carrying more literary tension, when these pesky adverbs are deleted. Try it and I think you will see what I mean. Also, find ways to add emotion to your scenes as that is what will secure the relationship of your reader to your MC. Lastly, I don’t think you have told your reader the locale of the story. All in all, this chapter flows well and shows that you do have the talent, as a writer, to pull this whole thing off. Good Luck and I’m backing it right now….

The Little universe is, for me, a very unique story and far from my usual genres. But the writing is so-o laid back with explanations and information supplied in simple easy-going form.

The premise of this book is nothing short of genius. How many of us have wondered if we could create our own little universe ? And yet you have succeeded, with this book, to conjure up this "what if" scenario and so brilliantly, if I may add.

Thoroughly enjoyed the first two chapters.

Will back.

Hsiau Hsia Moo

(The Monarch Butterfly)

Hi Jason
I promised I'd read this ages ago and I've been catching up and finally got round to it. I'm three chapters in and impressed. Another Gem.
The best of luck with this.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Jason,

I came intending to only read the first chapter, but that was impossible. I went on the chapter 2 and sure wish I had time to read more. This is such an exciting start to a story I'm sure is every bit as exciting start to finish. I loved it! I didn't see much to suggest. The only thing I noticed was too many sentences starting with 'he' in the paragraph where you are describing Adams (chapter 1). Good luck with this, it's a great read.

Madison Woods - Retribution

This is a really ingenious idea for a plot and you handle it very intelligently. Your characters are vivid and described with the amount of detail which brings them easily to life. I loved the great picture you start with, of Jon riding his bike through the icy cold, cursing himself for having left his hat and gloves behind. This is so realistic, and takes us straight into Jon's life. The easy relationship which develops between Jon and Adams is quite believable, and the hook at the end 'I'm simulating a universe...Would you like to see the project?' is great. A very readable book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

This is a great story, I am glad I stopped by for the read. You are clearly a good writer and the dialogue is well polished and developed. This is a great concept and I wish you all the best...

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

This is SO my kind of premise. Science vs. religion - who says they can't mix? The little clips from the journal do a great job of pushing the reader forward, too. I'm going to have to come back and read more of this later, but for now, happily backed.

R.C. Lewis (Fingerprints)