Under The Same Sky

UNDER THE SAME SKY
Genevieve Graham

When I go into a book store to purchase pleasure reading, I usually know what I am looking for. I would definitely pick Under The Same Sky and take it home and read it all. I certainly would not read only chapter one or skip around or read the last chapter and then feel as if I did my part as reader.

One of the things I enjoy about Authonomy is being able to select something to read without being asked to do so. In order to do justice to this site, I am willing and happy to do it that way but prefer to invest my reading time in the genre I enjoy.

I read all 22 Chapters of your book wishing I had more and could see the conclusion. Regardless, I absolutely agree with what others have said about the quality of this fine novel. It is without any doubt likely to become a best seller should it be published.

There is no way to describe how deeply this story affected me. Particularly in the last few chapters where the scenes of such tranquility and the beauty of nature, cast a soothing balm over the troubled lives of Andrew and Maggie. I sense there are more stressful times ahead, because that makes a good story. The pacing in this book is so well orchestrated that it has a resonance that just feels right.

What a stroke of luck to have been able to read this before it is published. I only hope that future chapters can be posted here and that you will put me on the list of, I am sure many, who want to read it all.

Backed with great admiration for the exceptional talent that is evident in every word you have crafted.

Most Sincerely,
Mary Enck
Author of A King in Time

Hi Genevieve. Under The Same Sky. (I am commenting having read 5 ex 22 chapters). This is a proper old school saga -- with supernatural overtones (...the power/meaning of dreams, premonitions, second sight, deja vu). Epic in both scale and concept, the narrative holds together as totally believable despite the arcane other-wordly dynamic at its core. This is achieved through superb characterisation, genuinely gripping tension, knife-edge drama, deft storytelling and an emotionally affecting plotline. I have read the 5 initial chapters that form the introduction to Maggie (and her back story) and lay bare her ordeal. The fact is I read these 5 chapters because I simply HAD to find out what happened next! And that...if any publishers are reading this review(!)...is the most vital quality in any novel being considered for publication by a mainstream commercial publisher...if the reader cannot put it down until they find out what happens then the novel is a 'winner'. Well, this MS has that quality in absolute spades. (I won't be a plot spoiler...but I'm glad Blue Shirt reaps what he has sown!) I know authonomy comments are frequently full of well-meaning hyperbole but quite honestly...publishers will be nuts if they miss this one. Do let me know when you have an offer...so I can say 'told you so'! ATB Simon (Little Bastard)

genevieve - your writing is breathtaking. truly. poetry in prose. i don't know how you keep it up paragraph after paragraph, but you manage it. this is just beautifully written. it was a pleasure to read and it's an honor to have you up on my shelf.

thank you for sharing your talent. i wish you the very best with "under the same sky." i know it'll be in print someday soon. your writing is just that good.

kelly
(chasing kate)

The depth of your characterization of Maggie is astonishing. She's fully fleshed out and absolutely priceless as a heroine. Your descriptions quickly evoke the era and are painted with an artistic intregity. Everything we need to see and hear and smell is there. Your eloquent, fluid prose is mesmerizing. Whether soft or hard, your word choices are spot on. You shower us with lovely metaphors such as 'eyes as dark as rain-soaked mud' and superb similies like 'brush against my thoughts like a feather falling from a passing bush.' Magnificant imagery there. Your delicate handling of the metaphysical element makes it believable ... and chilling. I shivered on reading of the death at the stake of Maggie's grandmother. I cried when the Wolf came and Maggie whispered, "Help me." This is an epic love story in the hands of a masterful writer. Backed.

I can see why this has been selected for publication! It is exquisite! Backed

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hello, I'm new to Authonomy! Please check out my book, Not Alone, and let me know what you think. If it's worth publishing please back it. Thanks for your support!

Congrats!!!!

sup. BRAVO. This is not my genre. I have never read anything like this before. I admit ionly looked because of the wolf, for i love wolves. And me being 2 kinds of Native American and part Irish, i liked the cover. But i disagree on that now. It's not the cover anymore, its the story. I mean, it's a simple and enlightenign tale. I'm still waititng for the part with all the blood you wrote. And the scottish kid, he was a warrior or something. I might've read it wrong. I'll go back in a bit. The way the father died, uncommon but he had little patience. Which is a problem of mines as well. And towards the end, when she describes the indians, im wondering about that part. Native American culture and stories interest me for i use a lot of the quotes sometimes in my writing. Not as much as i should though. Well, good read and backed and congrats with the book deal that you announced on ur page.. Later

Congratulations on your book deal! :-) Enjoying your work. You paint well with words. Backed.

blessings
jim
jack & charmian london

Poetic. Many times I've found a natural alliteration, not contrived but in a fluent steam of thought. I love the immediacy of first person for this tale. In your world, nature, objects, act, leaping off the page creating imagery. The reader falls headlong into the story. I want so much to find out how these two become "real" in each others' lives. Haven't we all thought that just maybe there was someone out there thinking about us? The "other," a presence felt but very real? How romantic.

Memphisgirl

You don't need the backing now, but I've put it on my shelf anyway. Toms of luck with the sales.

Joanna

Genevieve,
Beautiful narrative with a great premise.
I am always drawn to the psychic undertone or 'sight'.
You have great skill, fantastic description.
Good Luck!
Backed!
Sammy Sutton
King Solmon's 13

Genevieve, I have only read chapter one but hope to return for more. Your writing is poetic and descriptive --I like the "mane of chestnut hair" and "... like fair-skinned deer" (not as certain about the eyes like rain-soaked mud!), and the themes interest me enough to continue, when time permits. I do have a few suggestions, however.
"He has always been there." "Where" is "there"?--especially when a few lines later you say, "He was never really there." I understand your point, but can you make it in a way that is not such a contradiction but more of a paradox? e.g., "He has always been with me. That fact is as important as my own heartbeat." (I think you could then cut the "to me".)
"I kept him secret, invisible..." hmmm--I thought he WAS invisible? could "you" have MADE him visible??
Perhaps expand a bit on the "opposite banks" metaphor (e.g., "our bodies were always separated, like..."
Capitalize Year of our Lord (?? not certain...) It threw me a little bit, reading about an American yet the spelling is British (neighbours, colour)--I understand why, and I don't have a suggestion, I just "noticed"...
"The cold pierced our skin..." Perhaps, pierced "our bodies" and then "wrapped ourselves in..."
"I was never a regular child, spending my days..." This is slightly confusing, because you make no contrast--It could be read either way, that a "regular child" spends days working and playing; or "I was never a regular child, working and playing; I spent my days studying." How WERE "your" days different?
From this statement, you go to talking about dreams and being a toddler, and then being an infant, which presumably would pre-date chores and play even for a "regular" child. Use the statement as a contrast to what made her days different, or simply say, "I was never like other children." (because I had these strange dreams and such...)
I like the line "I could also see what wasn't visible, and hear what made no sound."
What "the Sight" is isn't explained, so it's not clear why the next line, "I never told her about the boy I could see" is not also part of having "the Sight". (I never told her there was more; why is this "more"? more than the dreams?)
I would cut the "as if" here, and talk about "fears" that sharing him might... and use an "as if" a bit further on, when talking about why Mother told the story "only once" (the line that currently follows that feels out of place to me--that "it" didn't repeat itself...)
"Mother did the best she could...", and a few lines later, "She did what she could." What did "she do"? And if she "ensured" "no one found out about my dreams" then why, a few paragraphs later, do you say the sisters "didn't pay much attention" to them when they were small, but "they" later became more useful to the family? The original statement is vague as to "how" mother "ensured", and the time period, as it later seems to change.
Could benefit from a transition from talking about the dreams, and the boy, and then into infancy and family.
"Like my mother, neither sister had..." is awkward, talking about them being alike in lacking an attribute. "My sisters lacked the Sight." Or, "I was the only one who had the Sight" could be established earlier, when it is first mentioned that "you" do have it; that this makes "you" ir-regular...then it does not need repetition that the sisters "don't have it".
"I came back into focus"??
I would like to see more lead-in to the dream about father. It's her birthday--was it a special day? a special meal for dinner, perhaps? How does she feel before going to bed? a normal evening? why wasn't father there for her birthday/why "late"?
"The only thing he had ever given us was beatings" is good.
"...tossed into the air like a sack of flour." I have dream imagery in parts of my book as well--in chapter seven, a pirate scene where the dreamer is thrown overboard "like a sack of potatoes." Someone suggested it was too cliche and detracted from the narrative and I decided to cut it.
Nicely done,
Jilaine Tarisa
A Moment of Time

No comment

Beatifully written and wonderful characterization. Do you need anymorme in a book? Well, yes. A good story helps and am so pleased that Under The Same Sky has this in abundence.
Backed with pleasure.
Mick
Flrty Something

This is totally magical, and a page turner!

Love the story and your flowing, excellent writing.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Backed with utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

This is beautiful imagination and I would definitely pick this up in a store. I thought the premise to be exciting and even though they were together only in thoughts and visions, your writing made it seem as if they were physically together in most scenes. I enjoyed the turn of events, which kept the read and the reader on edge hoping that all ends well but knowing tha it would be a long time before it does.
Backed earlier and I must say with extreme pleasure.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

BEAUTIFUL! I could go into a trance reading this. Gorgeous imagery, superb evocation of atmosphere and the voice of the MC is perfectly judged.
I've rarely come across work this good on Authonomy.
Backed!
Melanie Kendry The Boy Time Forgot

I wasn't sure if I would like something about dreams but found this story very intriguing and I sunk into the first chapter, not wanting to stop but carried forward with each paragraph. Very descriptive without being overdone. Well done and happy to back.

Mary M -- Heartstrings

I enjoyed this. It has the quality that I look for - that quality of making me forget I'm reading, and takes me instead into the world the writer has created. It recalled John Wyndham's book 'The Cryasalids' with its mind link idea. Since its now almost 1 am, I shall watchlist you and read properly tomorrow.

Good writing of the kind I would buy and read. Backed.
Alison - Tom's Daughters

Gen,
Read the first 3 Chapters. Gentle flowing style. Very evocative of the period.
This should do well.
Diane

Hi Genevieve,

A really beautiful tale, with a strong plot. I very much enjoyed reading it.
Backed.
Sam (Fallacy)

Hi Genevieve

You have a very accessible and visual writing style which makes this story a pleasure to read. I've read the first three chapters and I'm intrigued - will read the rest over the next little while and report back!

Backed

Robin
The Way Through the Woods

You had me at 'Maggie and Andrew have always known each other.' sigh! Really so well done. I wish you the best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Hi Genevieve
Another piece of history for you, the wogons the settlers used in the settling of the USA were called conestogas. Now how would a limey like me know that. ;-)

UNDER THE SAME SKY 6/13/2010

Chapter 1 does well to start the story and explain the critical points. But the lack of dialog is a bit unnerving. I realize historical fiction is a story, but some human interaction is necessary to get the reader involved.

The imagery is good and descriptions precise with detail. The story reads much like a documentary, however. In many places, each sentence tells of an independent event and is succeeded by another sentence with another event. These could be combined into more of a story form, "showing" what is happening, instead of just telling us.

The story is alive with action, emotion, tension, suspense, and drama. I just don't get to see a lot of it, because I'm being told what is happening. I wish I could see it happen. A great story line, wonderful characters, and good scenes. I wish I could read more. Good luck with this.

Marc - Where's The Ivy

Hi Genevieve
Just one small point you wrote, "slick leather hilt of a sword". Leather was seldom if ever used as a hilt for the reason you wrote slick=slippery making the sword difficut to use. A sword hilt is usually made from shark or skate skin, giving a solid grip.
Another a couple of little points.
Use the active voice in writing. Avoid weak verbs: "to be" and its variants: was, are, is. This puts the reader on-scene, makes what’s happening, happen now. When I have finished a story I always do a word search for the word "WAS" as it is the most common "passive" word we use in writing. When I find it I rewrite the sentence to get rid of it. I know that this is not always possible.
If you have the time to take a look at my story The Necklace Saga I would be most grateful, regards Pride.
Regards Pride.

Hi Genevieve
Just one small point you wrote, "slick leather hilt of a sword". Leather was seldom if ever used as a hilt for the reason you wrote slick=slippery making the sword difficut to use. A sword hilt is usually made from shark or skate skin, giving a solid grip.
Another a couple of little points.
Use the active voice in writing. Avoid weak verbs: "to be" and its variants: was, are, is. This puts the reader on-scene, makes what’s happening, happen now. When I have finished a story I always do a word search for the word "WAS" as it is the most common "passive" word we use in writing. When I find it I rewrite the sentence to get rid of it. I know that this is not always possible.
Regards Pride.

Given the pressures Authonomy brings I don't often get past the first chapter. This, however, will stay on my shelf until I've read more, perhaps all.

This is filmicly descriptive. The images are strong and paint a picture of the time, the place, the people. One tiny, tiny gripe. The rolling body after the horse has bent its head to graze in recovering from panic. Surely the body would have rolled by then? :) The very fact that's the only flaw I can find speaks volumes, though.

I look forward very much to reading more and passing further comment... when time permits.

Wow, Genevieve. I have been reading your book whilst I am work (meant to be working). I can't wait to keep reading when I get the time. I remember watching 'Roots' as a young child and being overwhelmed by the realisation of what slavery was all about. I look forward to reading on and have placed your book on my shelf. Cheers, Annette.

Dear Genvieve --

We left a much longer comment -- or tried to -- earlier but the mssg failed to take. Reconstructing from what we recall: Maggie and Andrew have distinct voices and storylines that you maintain with great tension as they move inexorably together. Your gift for language shines through your descriptions, and the obvious reserach you've done informs every scene without ever becoming intrusive; you simply make Maggie & Andrew's world come to life once more.

We know that we found some small crits, but they are too small to effect the quality of the story -- and they're subjective anyway. Suffice it to say we would love to buy Under the Same SKy to sit down and have a proper read of a worthy book. Backed, of course. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

Under The Same Sky
Genevieve Graham

Genevieve,
I backed this some days ago based on your pitches and have only just had the chance to read some of it. Very stimulating pitches and I love your storyline - Maggie and Andrew living on separate continents, but are connected through their minds; communicating through visions and rescuing each other from violence and death. What my interest was in this, as I read your pitches, was an understanding of this "phenomenon", so I started reading your chapters with great enthusiasm. In my own book here (Somnam) my two MCs are also connected in a mystical way - through nightmares. Anyway, I think your plot is grand, and I love the title of your book. I like your start and your very first two lines amount to a great hook. "He has always been there. That fact is as important to me as my own heartbeat." You create a nice atmosphere through effective use of language. There is a lyrical quality to this which speaks to me and without reading the whole, this is usally a sign to me that I want to read and will enjoy reading the complete book. I like your descriptions, and your first person voice. You writing style is simply marvelous - "We crossed paths with the Indians, but never came close enough to make contact. And yet their images began to appear in my dreams, to emerge from the trees and surround me with purpose, the tight skins of their drums resonating with the heartbeat of the earth." Beautiful writing, vigorous, flambouyant, elegant, powerful. This reads very polished to me Genevieve and I can tell, you were meant to be a writer. Wishing you much success with this which it duly deserves.
Zan

Under The Same Sky
Genevieve Graham

Genevieve,
I backed this some days ago based on your pitches and have only just had the chance to read some of it. Very stimulating pitches and I love your storyline - Maggie and Andrew living on separate continents, but are connected through their minds; communicating through visions and rescuing each other from violence and death. What my interest was in this, as I read your pitches, was an understanding of this "phenomenon", so I started reading your chapters with great enthusiasm. In my own book here (Somnam) my two MCs are also connected in a mystical way - through nightmares. Anyway, I think your plot is grand, and I love the title of your book. I like your start and your very first two lines amount to a great hook. "He has always been there. That fact is as important to me as my own heartbeat." You create a nice atmosphere through effective use of language. There is a lyrical quality to this which speaks to me and without reading the whole, this is usally a sign to me that I want to read and will enjoy reading the complete book. I like your descriptions, and your first person voice. You writing style is simply marvelous - "We crossed paths with the Indians, but never came close enough to make contact. And yet their images began to appear in my dreams, to emerge from the trees and surround me with purpose, the tight skins of their drums resonating with the heartbeat of the earth." Beautiful writing, vigorous, flambouyant, elegant, powerful. This reads very polished to me Genevieve and I can tell, you were meant to be a writer. Wishing you much success with this which it duly deserves.
Zan

I read five chapters of this. My initial thoughts were to go on about how good the writing is--the opening chapter being very lyrical and wonderfully written.
However what really stuck out was how quickly I was drawn into the story--rape, murder, capture, escape always drive a story along but this meandered beautifully like a small stream winding its way down to the lake (sorry not my attempt to match you lyrically--I couldn't--just to explain how I felt reading it).
The final crowning glory of this though was that you wrote the men's dialogue so superbly. If you were going to founder it was at this point. but you didn't--the early frontier venacular totally believable and their voices rasping in my mind.
As a reader this would not be my genre and so I tended to stray away from the mystical elements of the story; the sight and the 'connection' the MCs have. But I would have thought the target audience for this book would be hugely drawn to all aspects of it.

Backed

Steve

Under the sane sky
I read chapter 9
This is undoubtedly the best single thing I have read on this site
As a reader I felt, withing haslf a page, that I could relax, I was in safe hands - lovely
But you don´t learn much from praise and itdoes need an edit
para1 - cut - always
the entire time - is clumsy phrasing
para2 - on this day- why not say ´today´
para2-3 - One too many mentions of ´the families...´
Does HE see the barn as a castle - not sure - know what you mean
cut - turned and
that he knew he would see - clumsy - rework
so many years before - cut - cliche´d , and we can work that out
his throat felt... rework this sentence
tears would cut a CLEAN line thru the dirt,
etc
etc
Maybeb its nit picky, but every littlwe helps -
I´ll do more of this if you want
Please have a quick look at Charlie Marconi for me - he´s only down the road in Northumberland
I´d v much appreciate the benefit of an eye like yours - (now that is bad phrasing)
best
simon

Under the same sky.
I read chapter 9.
This is undoubtedly the single best thing I´ve read on the site.
The voice is strong and clear, it´s tense and poignant, but not overdone -
AS a reader I just get that feeling that I´m in safe hands. I can relax, trust you
Then again - you don´t learn much from praise - and I think it could do with an edit.
eg.
Para 1 - CUT always
THe entire time - is clumsy phrasing
replace - on this day - with ´today´

Para 2 - there´s one too many mentions of ´his families...´
Does HE see the barn like a castle? not sure - know what you mean

Cut ´turned and´

´that he knew he would see´this line is awkward

´so many years before´cut this - we get it from the context - leave the reader something to do

His throat felt... - reorder this sentence

Tears would in fact cut a clean line thru the dirt???
etc
I´ll look at some more if you want this sort of thing?

Some of that´s nit picky, but it all counts - I´d certainly appreciate it if you could have a glance at Charlie Marconi for me
thanks
s

Dear Genevieve, I absolutely loved it. What a wordsmith you are. 'Our bodies were like opposite sides of a river' - brilliant. I must read more of this piece of magic that you have put. together. Congratulations. Backed with pleasure, sincerely Gordon. PS thank you again for your generous comments about mine.

Hi Geniveve- What a fantastic piece of writing! So precise and delicate in every sense , a voice that paints a vivid picture whilst carrying us with ease from scene to scene. As a descriptive chapter this up there with the best of them.Backed with pleasure.

Richard

Very well written and a very powerful plot. I'd love to buy this if it ever gets published.

very compelling, evocative narrative, good luck with it!

I found this an exciting read. I quickly became immersed in your MC's tale and the dubious benefits of her gift. The lyrical writing of passages was well suited to the historic setting as were the awful things which happened.
I thought you built up the MC well, the plot emerging strongly from the premise. The other characters were believable although somehow Leonard saying 'Go wash up' jarred as modern.
I am probably not doing this justice as a Stampman's review, but have little else to say but Very Well Done.
Rosalind
Good For Him

A beautiful and moving story, as all good novels should be. I consider it a pleasure to back such a work as this and look forward to reading some more. Best of luck Genevieve, I hope you do well.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

' Under The Same Sky ' could come under criticism for not being balanced, seperated by continents, but the crisp fast flowing writing more than illustrates the authors ability to bridge the gap. There is true talent emerging from every written word because the describtions are so vivid. The pace is unrelenting, driven by a real love for ones labour.
Under the same sky is a magnificent read and a pleasure to back.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.

Absolutely fascinating. But how frustrating to see a boy, to know that he's love-worthy, but to never be able to reach him!I assume that's what the rest of this book is about. An excellent beginning, great description, good concept, flowing story-telling skill. Thanks for the read and good luck!

I really like the use of first person narrative here, it works well for the story. The prose is nicely detailed and brings forth imagery easily. Very well done and backed.

Amy
Love Match

Under The Same Sky

Reminds me of "Cross stitch" by Diana Gabaldon. Great tale and great writing.
Alison Butler :)

Your use of the first person narrative really makes this book work and I really love the combination of historical fiction and fantasy. Because of your strong command of the English Language your use of imagery is superb and your character development is finely crafted. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Wonderful pitch with solid characters and vivid imagery. Placing the girl in with Native |Americans is a brilliant move. They have a ystical and deep rooted belief in all things supernatural and there isn't enough books dealing with their culture. Adore this. Well done.

Wonderful book, descriptions musical, great style, backed John Warren Lasting Images, please review, jdub

This is captivating writing. Highly atmospheric with a clarity of telling that conveys the characters and situations off the page. I usually prefer some conversation but didn't regret its absence in this story.

Good work, deserves recognition.

Mike.

Genevieve - Under the Same Sky is a book with great potential - I have nothing to add but admiration for your turn of phrase. BACKED with delight by Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

When reading the pitch I felt that this story had a different twist. I liked the first chapter and the way it set the scene with the "sight" explained, this allowed the reader to plough into the story in the second chapter. The flow of action, desciption and dialogue is good and the description of the rape scene potrayed the horror without the graphic detail, which I thought worked. There is a paragraph missing which I don't know whether this is intentional. The book has lots of promise.

There were just a few small things, how I read it was the dream character is described as being 22 years older than the girl in the second chapter and the same age as her in the third chapter. I find that given these are two seperate character plots that merge later, that using the first person for the female MC in the readers eyes can diminish the closeness one has with the mail MC. this maybe deliberate and if so ignore my comment.

Good Luck

John

The pitch would not have drawn me in, not because it is in any way defective, just the genre. However, your writing is fine and I like the 'atmosphere' you conjure with your choice of words. I agree with Sharahzade about the reading issue, but I cannot sustain reading a book electronically! Moreover with dialup each page takes me sometimes about 2 minutes to download - I don't have the patience. But each read deserves thoughtful comment.
I particularly enjoy descriptive poetical writing and no matter what the genre I would read just because of this.
Backed on the strength of this and if what your preveious thoughtful commentator says is true, then I am sure it is worth it.
Good luck
Claudia Samouilhan - Fog in Channel