Angel Starr - The Gathering of Truth.

You are totally fantastic, Gabriel! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Just remember me when you're interviewed for your memoirs! :D

You are totally fantastic, Gabriel! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Gabriel, This is your 2nd book I'm backing. :) Psalms says "He will give his angels charge over you to keep you in all of your ways" & Hebrews says they are sent to "minister to those who are appointed unto salvation." Hope you will take a moment to back my 2 memoir books. Love, Susie :)

Very original, you write with a very distinctive voice. And the fact that this book seems to transcend genres also makes it very appealing.
Backed with pleasure
Carl
The Time hunters

Hello. I can't open my mesages for some reason. Mail me the__creator@live.co.uk

I'm not ignoring any requests.

I thought you used some good bits of language here to create something a bit different from the norm. You achieve a positive energy with this book without it feeling melodramatic, and I like that. Try to watch out for overuse of exclamation marks, they are a bit frowned upon outside of dialogue.

Andrew

Wow...
I was expecting loads of demons and angels having a good bash when i read fantasy..
but neh, this is making me think. REally like this story, and from the premise my brain lit up ...... and your writing doesn't dissapoint. For me, angel starr is a winner......

BACKED

This reminds me of the metaphysical medieval mystery plays in which human qualities were represented as separate character entities and given names similar to yours. The intention then, and I think your intention now, is to provide a didactic moral framework which, in allegorical form, shows how the positives, summed up as goodness, can overcome the negatives, summed up as badness. So your book will get a huge following. The writing is tight and effective, and the storyline works well. I'm pleased to back this. Best wishes, Tony

Because of the Thanksgiving holiday here in the States, I am pressed for time today, so I am gonna SHELVE you for now and swing by later to comment.

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Gabriel.
Wow, we have some excellent writing here. Very imaginative tangent to the story with Starr talking to the Cloud and coming to Earth. Quite a contrast to the story of Truly who is drinking herself into depression in her new and not so friendly existence. Her character suffers very deep introspection. Then she meets the man of her dreams and we have a plot. Well done with the mystic feek, lightning fast pace and creative story telling. A real page turner, good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Duaghter: Revenge

Hi Gabriel!

Love the opening section - very intriguing, it captured my attention from the start. Great opening line, fantastic way to open the reader's mind and plant question and wonder within them.

After that, your writing style, the introduction of Truly (great name by the way!) is natural and fluid. Nice pacing, easy to read - a real joy to flow through and devour. Your descriptions are thorough and very telling - you've placed my mind's eye in the settings you paint. I think if I had to nit anything, it would be your use of punctuation - specifically commas. I think there are many places where you don't necessarily need them and by using them you are putting pauses in the reader's mind, slowing down the pace. Take for example the line: "Truly's house, was the third on the right, from entering the village." I really don't think you need any commas there - the sentence works fine and flows well without the punctuation. If I were you, I'd go through and do a thorough edit specifically for punctuation and weed out everything that's not needed, everything that clunks up the pace.

Other than that, I've really enjoyed what I've read of this fantasy novel! I see it's a series - I do hope to see more here, and wish you the very best of luck! Backed with pleasure.

Kim
Invisible Justice

Work on the pitch fella! the story is good enough to get the readers flocking in, but you need a better hook!

Thanks, I shall take your advice! :D

Work on the pitch fella! the story is good enough to get the readers flocking in, but you need a better hook!

Dear Gabriel,
the pitch doesn't do your book justice. backed.

Ariel
Merkabah at the centre of the universe

Angel Starr: The Gathering of Truth

Hi Gabriel,

Great writing, beautifully done, must have taken ages to be this rich and detailed. Soaring prose in places, but you need to tweak you pitch, I want paragraphs, maybe three lines long, that tell me the story, tease me into reading deeper. But definitely welcome, definitely backed.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

Hi
I read chapters 1,2 and 6. The opening chapter was a gentle introduction to Truly and her world. I felt it flowed well and was a simple easy read which was enjoyable but maybe needed a little more umph to get the reader hooked. The writing itself seems flawless with alot of attention to detail. The pitch promises a whole lot more to come, which I'd be interested in seeing unravel. Backed.
The very best of luck with this.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Gabriel
The South East of England seashore is a massive stretch of land. Why not name the village, this left me wondering where I was....

conflicting / conflicts both used in two lines.....(repetitive)
litttle idea of what ideas .......(repetitive).


I could not relate to Truly.....She seemed a rather weak personality, to be huffing and puffing for over a year about a situation that she has the financial where withall to correct , was something I needed explaining...

I needed more plus points on village life to justify the fact that she hasn't packed her bags already. Or a dark sinister reason for her leaving London in the first place......Either , or, but not for her to have left the high life behind in favor of purgetory, and to spend a year bemoaning all about it..

Please let me know if you think I am being unfair......

Shelved because I can see an interesting premise.....so am happy fo support....

Not unfair at all - I want feedback! The second part in the trilogy holds the twist for Truly's situation. I will take your advice though... promise!

You're writing is good. You will certainly want to look at other pitches to get an idea of how to format it. It's very important to focus on the story in your pitch...people will judge your book by its cover. Best of luck.

Gabriel
The South East of England seashore is a massive stretch of land. Why not name the village, this left me wondering where I was....

conflicting / conflicts both used in two lines.....(repetitive)
litttle idea of what ideas .......(repetitive).

I could not relate to Truly.....She seemed a rather weak personality, to be huffing and puffing for over a year about a situation that she has the financial where withall to correct , was something I needed explaining...

I needed more plus points on village life to justify the fact that she hasn't packed her bags already. Or a dark sinister reason for her leaving London in the first place......Either , or, but not for her to have left the high life behind in favor of purgetory, and to spend a year bemoaning all about it..

Please let me know if you think I am being unfair......

Shelved because I can see an interesting premise.....so am happy fo support....

A dark and serious fantasy. The premise is interesting and the work is well written and exciting.
Backed

Hi Gabriel
I hope you don't mind me making a suggestion about your pitch. Firstly there are thousands of books on this site and you need to draw people in and make them want to read what you have to offer. Your pitch needs to be in first person and be solely about your story. Not the author, nor his aspirations. I'm only telling you this because I tend to check out a pitch, if it doesn't grab me immediately, I click off and move on.

Hope this helps
Sue
A Boy Called George

So far, this is good. I like the slow pace.