Life in the 90's. Growing up with the approaching Millenium
4 Stories tied into 1. The life of you and me in the 90's. The music, the style, the drugs, the people, the casualties, the observations and the lust for something to change
, 90's, boon, dance, drugs, ian, life, london, madchester, millennium, music, observations, party, people, places, rave, roses, stone, true
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5 comments
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Hi Ian. That's fine for you to reply to my comment on my page, no problem at all. I do mean spelling mistakes, but, also, if this were my work, I would be looking at the structure of it too; how it looks on the page; paragraphing and stuff. There's loads of this that could be joined into single paragraphs that would help the flow and, I think, would probably help with the dialogue sections which would then stand out more and be more focused. But It's just my thoughts. I'll think about it more and come back to you. James
ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection. One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)
Ian - Sorry if my comment wasn't clear. It's a matter of style in the narrative, not the dialogue, but it's only my opinion and others may disagree. There is a relevant discussion on a forum thread. (And I should have written in my comment 'Yours' not 'Your's'. !) Some of your paras are fine but I think others really would repay attention to sentence structure, punctuation & grammar.
Hi Ian. I'm not finding this an easy read but there is something 'hypnotic' about it; I certainly don't feel inclined to give up on it. There are lots of errors and typos and, I guess, you really should go over it and sort them out. I haven't got even close to reading it all yet (only the first 5 or 6 sections) but I like the way it flicks between the stories and drip feeds bits of information; and I'm curious as to where all this is leading. The only other criticism I would have to add is that I'm not sure that I can picture the characters; I feel like I don't have enough to see them clearly, you know? But, I'll be back for more and see how things start to fall into place. Thanks and good luck. James
Ian - welcome to the site & congrats on uploading. I started your book but gave up. It's quite legitimate to write dialogue in character, of course, BUT the writer owes it to the reader to write the narrative as readably as possible & that means attention to sentence structure, P&G. Your's needs, IMHO, very careful revision - eg not 'the life of you and I' but 'you and me'. Test = 'life of I' which you wouldn't write. Good luck with it!