Book Jacket

 

rank 5315
word count 32651
date submitted 04.12.2009
date updated 22.12.2009
genres: Non-fiction, Harper True Life
classification: moderate
complete

By These Things Men Live--Chronicles of a Four-Time Cancer Survivor

Bob Ellal

What does it take to survive four bouts of bone cancer? Combine the mind/body connection with chemotherapy. What does it really take? Everything.

 

'By These Things Men Live' is an uncompromising account of beating bone cancer four times in the early nineties--a blueprint for others confronted by this disease. The heart of the book is how I used Chinese internal energy exercises as a complement to both conventional chemotherapy and the high-dose chemo of two bone marrow transplants. It's message? Use the mind/body connection--internal energy exercises, meditation and visualization--both as adjuncts to allopathic medicine and as a means for surviving its devastating effects. This is not the typical cancer survivor book, in which "butterflies lighted on my wrists" every time I ventured outside--as a result of the insights gained while fighting for my life. At times, terrifying--at other times, inspiring and outright funny. It's really about nerve, will and determination in the face of impossible odds--gritty heroism dredged up from the depths of the human spirit. And it elucidates life's most important lesson: No matter how many times one gets knocked down, no matter how many challenges one faces--don't quit! Get back on your feet. Talent and aptitude are good; but persistence and resilience are better to achieve success--not just when facing cancer, but in the struggles of everyday existence.

 
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tags

cancer, cancer survival, mind/body connection, qigong

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Unless he is already doomed, fortune is apt to favor the man who keeps his nerve. The maxim from the ancient Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf reverberated in my skull repeatedly, like a mantra, until the words no longer made sense and were simply a collection of sounds. My breathing slowed and deepened; my mind felt calm. I felt far away from my gurney in the isolation room in the bone-marrow-transplant ward, though high-dose chemotherapy drugs dripped through IV tubes into a catheter implanted in my chest. 
 
 
 
Minutes ago I’d been anything but serene; anxiety had welled up inside my chest like a giant palm pressing on my diaphragm.


 
I watched the nurse open the plastic levers on the IV lines and prepare to exit the room. She stood briefly to give me words of encouragement when she noticed the small stack of books on the wheeled tray near my gurney. 
 

 
“Beowulf?” She picked up a translation of Beowulf with a photo on the cover of an ancient Anglo-Saxon war mask, iron mouth smiling, spaces for a warrior’s eyes hollow.
 

 
“God Almighty, you should be reading something lighter, like War and Peace.”
 

 
“I can’t help it—Beowulf is my soul brother. You see, we’re both born monster-killers.”
 

 
“Oh, I see.” She shook her head. I forged a smile on my face, hoping it looked grim and determined like the mouth on the iron war mask. As she closed the steel door to the tiny isolation room, signaling the beginning of the month-long transplant process, I scanned my surroundings.
 

 
Fifteen years ago the room was state-of-the-art, built specifically for the transplant procedure. At that time, medical experts thought that any hint of a germ would be fatal to the patient after his blood counts dropped to ground zero, so they designed the room to resemble something out of the space program, a combination of the sterility of a NASA “clean room” with the roominess of an Apollo space capsule.
 

 
The walls and ceiling were composed of aluminum sheets joined by riveted metal strips, all painted hospital white; the room itself was about 12’ by 12’ and perhaps 6 1/2’ high. The gurney dominated the workspace, leaving room only for a single chair, medical monitors and equipment, and the portable commode with its high back and arms for comfort (useful when diarrhea struck every 15 minutes).
 

 
A single window provided a view of the outside world: the hospital parking lots. Its double-paned glass slightly warped the vista and was dense enough to be bulletproof. Terrific—no assassin’s bullet would find me! I was really worried about that possibility.
 
 
 
Those were the old days; today human contact is slightly less antiseptic—the nurses and doctors condom themselves with disposable gowns, gloves and filter masks, bypassing the screen entirely.
 

 
Panic. Shallow, quick breathing and thoughts of death pinball through the mind. It’s that door—once the door clicks shut and the air no longer flows naturally into the room, panic sets in. The noise of the compressor blowing filtered air into the chamber increases the sense of claustrophobia and constriction in the chest. Is this how the gas chamber feels?
 

 
Quick: rip the tubes from your veins and escape into the corridor. They can’t hold you here! From outside you hear the sounds of the workmen’s tools as they modernize other rooms on this floor to accommodate future transplant patients.
 

 
Steal a hardhat and a pair of coveralls and escape into the working world. It’s Friday, and you imagine returning home after a long workweek. Your sons meet you in the driveway, riding circles around the car on their bikes as you pull up to park.
 

 
Then the scene switches. Several boys ride bicycles, including your two sons. They seem oblivious to my presence. They are talking to each other.
 

 
“What happened to your father?”
 

 
“He died,” the older boy answers, while the younger rides his bike in ever-tightening circles.
 

 
“Was it in a war or an accident or something?”
 

 
“No, he got sick and died in a hospital.” Your wife comes to the screen door; face puffy, eyes empty, like the hollow sockets in the Anglo-Saxon war mask.
 

 
“This is agony! I don’t want to die in this place!”
 

 
Keep your nerve, man...yeah, easy if you’re Beowulf, the hero of my long-gone Anglo-Saxon ancestors, a superman who could tear the arms off monsters with his bare hands. But what if you’re me, Corporate Bob, a word-weaver, a man who might be clever with people but can barely tear the arms off a Barbie doll? How do you keep your nerve if you have lymphoma cancer? Huge biceps and a washboard waist won’t help you here.
 

 
Damn. I’m in for a screwing this time. This is my second transplant, so I have the dubious advantage of knowing what to expect: Over the next few days, the chemotherapy will destroy my bone marrow and, with luck, all the cancer cells in my body. It also could destroy me by causing a heart attack, damaging my organs, allowing infections like pneumonia to arise, or killing me in numerous other ways.
 

 
The less lethal but uncomfortable side effects of the chemo could include rampant diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, fevers and chills, as well as complete fatigue and depression. In short, I am facing what amounts to three or four weeks of a simulated cheap red-wine hangover—one that could prove fatal.
 

 
If I survive the chemo, they’ll pour my stem cells (baby white cells harvested from my blood) back into me. These little buggers are smart: hang them off an IV pole from a bag that looks like watery tomato sauce and they swim back into the bone marrow to recreate my immune system.
 
Of course, something could go horribly wrong, something mentioned in sterile print in the release form I signed before the doctors began the treatment. Sometimes the stem cells refuse to take or engraft properly, and you are left without an immune system. But not for long.
 

 
If the stem cells do engraft properly, you’re not home free. No, those nasty mouth sores prevent boredom from setting in. Once a patient’s white blood cell count dips into the nether regions, the mouth sores appear: raw, leprous wounds covering the tongue, the inside of the mouth, the throat and sometimes the esophagus. The pain is so intense that you cannot talk or swallow—never mind eat—without the help of a morphine derivative constantly dripping into you.
 

 
Control. I can’t lose my nerve. Okay, Beowulf, let’s step away and observe what is happening. My mind is a tangled jungle canopy. Thoughts careen through the foliage like frightened monkeys chattering and swinging from the vines. I am under heavy stress, in a state of fight or flight. If this continues, the adrenal glands atop my kidneys will continuously flood my bloodstream with adrenaline and other hormones.
 

 
Short term, this hormonal boost is positive: it gives humans the energy to handle extraordinary situations, like fighting a monster or escaping from its claws. But suppose the monster is within you, and you can’t fight or can’t run away? The hormones inundating you will overload your body’s systems and eventually burn you up.
 

 
Can’t have this! The combination of the cancer and the chemotherapy is enough to wear anyone down. Must seek a state of stillness so my immune system will let the treatment work without interference from my body. How? You know how.
 

 
Seize the monkey.  The monkey in Chinese philosophy is the emotional mind that chatters unceasingly, cluttering the brain with questions, thoughts, fears and judgments that prevent a calm mental state. This monkey can be dangerous if you’re ill: if the mind is in a state of panic, the body responds and triggers its panic systems.
 

 
How to center the mind? With the breathing. The breath is the bridge that links the mind and body. Regulate the breathing with slow, deep inhalations from the bottom of your lungs, seizing the monkey, calming the emotional mind by removing the chaos of irrational thoughts. As the mind calms, so does the body, from a state of alarm to a state of neutrality.
 

 
Fortune is apt to favor the man who keeps his nerve: the formula for survival. That is what my Anglo-Saxon will tells me to do. But how do I maintain my nerve over months and years of continuous battles, when fatigue and world-weariness wears me down? What is the mechanism to keep the will strong and prevent it from faltering?
 

 
Breathing, again, breathing. When the will falters, when we’re at the breaking point, let go. Don’t quit, that’s different. Let go. Breathe. Let things happen, don’t try to make things happen. As a wise mystic once told me: stop thinking and permit. Permit. Easy to say. Hard to do.
 
 
 
Despite my fatigue I stand near the edge of the gurney, the tubes in my chest connecting me like umbilical cords to the IV bottles hanging from the metal pole. Gently I bend my knees, sink my body and raise my arms in an arc in front of my chest, fingertips a few inches apart, my spine straight, the top of my head pressing lightly toward heaven.
 

 
My arms embrace the image of a tree, drawing its clean oxygen into me as it pulls dirty carbon dioxide, cancer cells and toxic chemotherapy from my body. The bottoms of my lungs fill with air, expanding my abdomen and the area in the small of my back between the kidneys.
 

 
Focus on breathing, the intermediary between mind and body. In and out, inhale and exhale, no pause, a continuous cycle. Gradually fear dissipates as my mind shifts to the action of my lungs. Beowulf’s formula for survival echoes in my mind and quickly condenses itself to two words: fortune as I inhale, nerve as I exhale. After twenty or thirty breaths the words lose meaning and become mere sounds. The pressure within my chest disappears.
 

 
Slowly a ghostly serpent of energy arises within me and spirals its way up my spine. It entwines itself in the intricate web of bone, nerve, muscle and tissue that ultimately connects to every part of my body, preventing it from collapsing to the earth into an accordion of lifeless flesh.
 

 
This snake penetrates my brain and drifts upward through the top of my skull into the puzzle of bony plates that seam together in infancy. I exhale and the serpent gathers mass and structure and slithers downward over my forehead to slip through a vagina of skin that seems to open between my eyes. It descends down my throat, behind my sternum, and settles in a coil below my navel, liquefying into a molten, spinning ball of heat that sends tiny, stimulating currents of sunlight into my penis and testicles.
 

 
My lungs fill and this tiny sun reforms itself into a great, diaphanous cobra that again winds its way up my spinal column. Now it’s no longer a snake but a spiral staircase of swirling gases, a fragile molecule of DNA, its atoms held together by the opposing forces of electrical attraction and repulsion. Eventually its head catches up with its tail, engulfs it, and it changes into a continuous orbit of energy revolving within my torso and arced arms...
 

 
The snake disappears, the image of the tree dissipates, the hospital room dematerializes. I too depart, along with the threat of lymphoma cancer that has dogged me for five years. All that is left is a pulsing of energy that coordinates itself with the action of my lungs, of which I am barely aware. Corporate Bob is no longer an entity, he has melded into the earth and sky.
 

 
I’ve seized the monkey. Monsters half-heartedly stir from their corners, moving through me and evaporating harmlessly. Stillness descends like a great, pealing crack of silence. What a paradox! This sensation of peace is not absence of feeling; it’s as though a quiet energy pulses uniformly within me and around me, as though the very molecules of the air are positively charged, alive.
 
 
 
I am still, and this electric tranquility also vibrates in the walls, ceilings, medical equipment and portable commode that constitute this isolation room. It is now my room, my space, my place to heal. Monsters cannot survive here, only heroes.
 

 

 

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Freeman wrote 734 days ago

The wife of one of my very close friends has cancer. She got over it once and now it is back. She is too sick for chemotherapy and the doctors do not expect her to live much longer. I know she is in a lot of pain and suffers with the treatments. I had no idea until I read some of your book how bad it is. No wonder she cries all the time. This is well written and very moving. The fact that you have survived shows it is possible and I hope your book is published since it will give other hope.

I will back your book with great pleasure.


Tony
Life Bringer

Tracy McCarthy wrote 736 days ago

Bob, this is fantastic. Your first chapter had me fighting back tears. The subsequent chapters took me through fascination, compassion, humor and hope. I love everything about this. Such a powerful story with such beautiful writing.
Very happy to have you on my shelf.
Tracy
The Guardians

S Richard Betterton wrote 759 days ago

I have a good friend on her 2nd bout of chemo for lymphoma, and an acquaintance with bone cancer. Having read 4 chapters I'll be recommending they read this. You've written something important here, and in a compelling style, and I salute you for it.
Cheers,
Simon

Sly80 wrote 764 days ago

A marvel, the attitude ... 'We're both born monster-killers' ... the writing ... 'thoughts of death pinball through the mind' ... and the indomitable humour ... 'left without an immune system. But not for long'.

Qigong, I've never heard of, but you make it sound well-worth pursuing. This book is an education, and armour against ignorance and fear. 'Just a positive outlook and a glimmer of hope' yes, I know only too well what you mean. I'm also appalled at 'the numbers game' though I'm sure it's true. 'Beowulf and his buddies with their war masks would've smacked their shields with the flats of their swords' a great attitude, some fabulous doctors, and the teacher appearing when you were ready.

Life dealt you some lousy luck, Bob, but you turned it right around. This book is an inspiration. I hope it comes to the attention of Harper True Life ... backed.

Christina McClean wrote 766 days ago

So glad you wrote this for all the people who need to know just what it's like. Love lines like, "A giant palm pressing on my diaphram." The detailed descriptions throw insights into the process of painful recovery. Mst have taken it out of you to write this and a hell of a lot of courage. My only nit pic is that pehaps you could make two or three paras in the pitch just for an easier read.
Backed with pleasure.
Christina
From Under the Bed

Mairi Graham wrote 766 days ago

I read Tim Roux's review of your book and dropped by to check it out. Glad I did. I've seen those maps, with their oceans littered with every sort of monster. They're enough to make you close your eyes,hunker down and stay at home, which is not a Beowulf attitude. Seize the monkey, seize the minute, seize the day is a message we all need to hear.

soutexmex wrote 768 days ago

Gotta agree with Simon on your book. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Simon Swift wrote 769 days ago

Amazing stuff Bob! I am very happy to back this and just hope many more people will too! it is incredible work! Good on you, fella!
Simon

MickR wrote 771 days ago

Bob,
I think it would be hard to find someone who hasn't been affected by cancer. Either they, or a relative or friend has fought the battle. Most are not as successful as you have been. Your story and the way you have written it definately have a place on bookstore shelves in the future.
Good luck with the book and best wishes for a healthy future.
MickR - The Nightcrawler

Helena wrote 772 days ago

Hi Bob, this is an intense story. I can't imagine what you have gone through and it is a great thing you have done sharing it with us. I also believe in the power of positive energy but I find it hard to practice sometimes. The fact that you could do this while undergoing such terrible body changes is immense. Your descriptions of what the body goes through when killing bone marrow were graphic but definitely needed. This is on my shelf. Well done! Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Thomas J. Winton wrote 777 days ago

Very heartrending story, Bob. Every paragraph not only a moving assemblage of words, but jammed full of information. No nits. Best of luck. Backed
Thomas J Winton (Beyond Nostalgia)

gillyflower wrote 777 days ago

This is an amazing book. The courage of the protagonist stands out above all else. You write is a clear, meticulous fashion about the things which happened to you as a cancer patient, both externally, in the ward, and internally, in your mind and spirit. You keep coming back to,'fortune is apt to favour the man who keeps his nerve,' your quotation from Beowolf, and you show us the courage which makes this possible, but also the difficulty, as your 'Thoughts careen through the foliage like frightened monkeys.' This is a valuable book, which is bound to be of great help and encouragement to many people. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

AlanMarling wrote 779 days ago

Dear Bob Ellal,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. First of all, I love the quote in your pitch “Talent and aptitude are good; but persistence and resilience are better to achieve success”. A great one and, in my experience, applicable to the craft of writing.

Your first paragraphs accomplish many things at once: setting the stakes and tension as well as your personality and humor. Great job! Oh goodness, the mention of diarrhea four times an hour builds sympathy, to say the least. I’ve read a few true stories on this site, and they all involve experiences so horrific that readers tend to shy away from them. However, your humor sets you above the rest and saves you from this potential pitfall, just as it may have saved you when fighting cancer. Your humor gives the reader hope and alleviates the weight of the reality you face. The humor transitions well into “Seize the monkey” and alternative medicine. It also helps that you write well.

The energy snake is an excellent visual manifestation of the powers of your positive thinking and meditation. In my fallible opinion, you may want to prepare the reader more to deal with this mystical image, perhaps with a paragraph explaining your initial or later reaction to the image. Expected? Unexpected? Did you later wonder if it’d been real? Also, I wish you could feature the humor more in a pitch with paragraph breaks, as humor seems such an important element of the work to me.

These small matters aside, your story is inspiration. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Francis Albert McGrath wrote 779 days ago

Bob
A tremendously inspiring tale of inner strength, spirituality, love and compassion. It reminded me at times of Lance Armstrong's biography. I love the interwoven strands of Eastern wisdom.
Shelved
Frank

Clare Stephen wrote 780 days ago

This is a really inspirational read that will bring hope to both cancer sufferers and those seeking to learn from the experience of others. I am quite sure there will be a market for your manuscript. Hope you find your publisher soon. Backed. Clare (Second Lives)

LittleDevil wrote 780 days ago

Hi Bob,
First of all, congratulations. Not only for surviving, but for writing a book that should have huge appeal and bring hope to thousands. As I said, I researched lots of sites areas when my hubby developed cancer. Some of the things I found were amazing. Excercise is one area which is supposed to have the most benefit and has a lot to do with oxygen. Cancer can't survive in oxygenated environments. I wrote a short story about a cancer cell years ago, but have been researching a better ending for it. It's called 'Where there's Life' and you'll find it in my short story collection if you fancy taking a look.
I've only read a couple of chapters so far, and I'm about to go shopping, but I'll come back later for some proper comments, this is just drivel. But I'm glad to have you on my shelf in the meantime.
Sue

jcoop50 wrote 780 days ago

Hi Bob,
There is nothing as great as a story of survival. I read 1/2 of your book and will read the rest during XMAS break (I teach so I have lots of time!). More power to you.
SHELVED
Jane Cooper
The Transformer (a fictional account of survival)

bonalibro wrote 782 days ago

Bob,

I believe there is still so much we do not know about cancer. The contributions of stress, a poor diet, environmental chemicals, food additives, plastics, you name it. Our life styles must have some effect on our health, and a change it life style, as you show, can be very beneficial in remitting cancer. An excellent and very honest account of everything you went through. I appreciate your honesty about your fears. Your anxiety is palpable.

I would like to back this outright for you because it is such good work, but my own book is languishing on a very steep and slippery slope, and returns on backings have been poor of late. If you'll have a look at Chili con Carnality and give it what you think is it's due a backing from me will be readily forthcoming.

Bob Steele wrote 783 days ago

By These Things Men Live is not an easy or comfortable read - how could it be when dealing head-on with cancer? But your honesty and guts shine through the well-written narrative. You find the words to articulate extremes of stress and emotion with vivid and immediate effect. I have no suggestions for improvement here - just respect for your ability to take your readers with you down such a traumatic road. Backed.

chrisalys wrote 783 days ago

This is a book that should be published, it is honest, open and so well written. It gives the reader a knowledge of the emotions of patients going through such illnesses. This is so atmospherically written and so powerful... the imagery of the snake is superb.
Good luck with this, it deserves to be published.
Backed with pleasure
Chris (inside out)

chrisalys wrote 783 days ago

This is a book that should be published, it is honest, open and so well written. It gives the reader a knowledge of the emotions of patients going through such illnesses. This is so atmospherically written and so powerful... the imagery of the snake is superb.
Good luck with this, it deserves to be published.
Backed with pleasure
Chris (inside out)

Francesco wrote 784 days ago

Super. Uplifting and moving.
Backed.

mikegilli wrote 785 days ago

A miracle book! Congratulations on writing it
and wishing you all the best, you certainly deserve it.....
Mikey..........The Free (shelved)

John Harold McCoy wrote 786 days ago

Hi, Bob. Great pitch. Leaves no doubt as to what the reader can expect.
The book is an inspiring narrative. I think we all must wonder what we would do if faced with cancer, or any life threatening condition. "By These Things Men Live' is enlightening and encouraging. A very well written account of your battle with cancer and the problems one might encounter in that situation. I only read 4 chapters but enough to see that your style and narrative skill will carry this off without a hitch. I think this book deserves attention and will certainly back it. On my shelf and the best of luck with it, Bob.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Natalie Jones wrote 787 days ago

This is truly wonderful. I would buy this novel for the three cancer survivors at my place of work. They all suffered from different types of cancer and have similar and different stories to tell. What most amazes me, however, is their indomitable spirit and will. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them and you for writing such an honest, moving account. How could I not back and support such a work. Good luck and stay healthy.

Natalie

dave_ancon wrote 787 days ago

Very good first chapter. Like Beowulf, but fighting another, unknown, monster, but with one difference. Beowulf could have refused the challenge and left, but you have no choice. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be shut in like that. Backed, of course. Dave

B. J. Winters wrote 787 days ago

I always find true life difficult to comment on - so I openned this with a touch of trepidation. The first line made me think, and the writing was fluid. I decided to jump to a random chapter - and chose 36. It was short, so I also read 37. The text was simple and easy to read, without pretence. Of the two, I liked 37 better, particularly the last section of 37 -- I have those days where I check my wallet, the lock on the door -- I rarely wonder about life with or without passion. But for just that one moment staring out the window -- I was there with you.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Cato Sulla wrote 789 days ago

You are indeed 'King of the Geats'!

Bob it's a testament to your bravery that you are still here to tell the tale. I love the way you found solace and inspiration in the Swedish Warrior King Beowulf. He would be proud of you.

I lost a dear friend of mine three years ago to cancer. She thought that she'd conquered this indescriminate disease, alas she was wrong.

I wish you well for many happy years ahead my friend and namesake.

Bob

T.L Tyson wrote 790 days ago

This is intense. In a day and age when cancer is the common fear among people it is these stories of struggle that really resonate with the masses.
Your strength shines through in your writing. I like the shortness of the chapters, they allow the reader to fully absorb the content before moving on.
My friends mother has had breast cancer, lung cancer and colon cancer. She is now cancer free. It is nice to hear stories of surviors. THe struggle and the odd humor that lies within the strife you endured is oddly beautiful at times and heart wrenching throughout.
Backed. Without a doubt.
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Jane Alexander wrote 790 days ago

Bob, I am awed by your warrior spirit - you are the true descendent of Beowulf and I sincerely hope you have beaten off your Grendel and his mother too (and the dragon), for good and all. You talk my language with this book as I have written about holistic health for twenty years, so am with you on qi gong, kundalini, visualisation etc.
Hmm, have you tried HayHouse with this? It might be right up their alley.... I did a book with them (well, a detox pack actually) and they are good people to work with.
Your chapters, on the whole, seem very short - but then, I wonder, is that a problem? Not for this kind of book, actually...well, that's my opinion, for what it's worth...

I'm more than happy to back this...
Jane
WALKER

paxie wrote 792 days ago

Bob

So inspiring ......Three member of staff in our office have a parent fighting cancer at the moment.....All three parents are having daily chemo..

...Typically none of them are in today, I'll definately show them this tomorrow......

I found your writing light and humourous, which is astonishing considering the subject matter you're tackling....
But scary too, scary because it could happen to anyone.....Cancer has no respect or compassion......

Wishing you continued good health.....shelved

Onthedottedline wrote 793 days ago

This book will be a greart source of support to people coping with cancer. I've lost three friends in the last twelve months to various types of cancer, and know how it affects not only the sufferer, but whole families. Your own example will be an inspiration to the thousands who read this excellent book, and the fact that you even manage to laugh at it occasionally, as well as to swear at it, shows the range of moods you experienced during your persistent fight. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony

Kim Jewell wrote 794 days ago

Hi Bob!

Wow, this is a really compelling piece of non-fiction you've got here. So many people in the world are still being affected - either directly or indirectly - by cancer. This should speak to a huge audience.

Okay, I'm making notes as I go, so bear with me... Your pitch - very well written. Love the short pitch and how you draw the reader in with a series of questions. The longer pitch would be easier on the eyes if you section it into multiple paragraphs. Couple of other things: "It's message?" - should be Its since the word is the conjunction of "it is." Also, the semicolon after good should be a comma, since you follow it with "but."

Inside - you mentioned in the pitch this would be funny at times, so the wit you deliver this with didn't altogether surprise me. The Beowolf conversation, trying to make a grim smile like that of the mask - gentle and funny! The worry of the assassin bullet - also cute and made me smile.

Some nits I found along the way:
-Spell out your smaller numerals - twelve by twelve room, six and a half feet high, fifteen minutes...
-11th paragraph - I'd replace the semicolon with a period. It's a really long sentence, so could be broken up for ease of reading. I also try to stay away from semis as much as possible, they can be jarring and slow down the reader's mind.

Your description of the claustrophobia in the hospital room and the terror that strikes is very well done. My heart pounded reading it. Then you switch back to Beowolf and Corporate Bob, giving the episode a little levity. Nicely handled, giving the reader a break. Then right back into real world facts - what the patient is going to endure, the breaking down of the body, risks associated wtih the chemo... All of this you compare to a cheap, red-wine hangover. You go back and forth so deftly with your descriptions - real, funny, scary, honest - it keeps the reader here and in the hard-core moment, but comfortable enough (through your humor) to keep reading.

-halfheartedly doesn't need a hyphen (second to last paragraph in chapter one)

Love the last line in chapter one - Monsters cannot survive here, only heroes. It's not necessarily a traditional "hook" but it does set the tone for the rest of the book. I am loving how this reads, the material you are weaving here, the bouncing back and forth of tone and humor. I will continue reading, and will message you directly with anything I find along the way that stick out or needs to be addressed. But I wanted to pause briefly and leave this comment for you and back the book. Great job!!!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Laurie Gonda wrote 796 days ago

I think that this is such an important message in everyday life. Cheers to your own determination in your life and putting your wonderful inspirations in writing and sharing them with the world! Best of luck with this.

Jupiter Echoes wrote 796 days ago

A fine book to give suffers strength during very trying times. I can only imagine that it is not easy at all for you or those who care for you. MY best wishes to you.

BACKEd

Oh sorry, fine writing and an involving story. I almost forgot to comment on the couple chaps I read.

Andrew W. wrote 796 days ago

By These Things Men Live By – Chronicles of a Four Times Cancer Survivor

Hi Bob,

Resilience, persistence and keeping our nerve… I work with adolescence everyday and these are exactly the qualities we need to support them in acquiring if they are going to lead successful lives. You convey what must have been a devastating trauma with careful and considered distance, the writing is engaging and smooth, very well edited and without all traces of sentimentality expunged. Your inner strength is fascinating to behold, your thoughtfulness, your philosophising in the bleakest of moments. I think I might just have to take a peek at Beowulf now. Great writing. Courageous and bold, and as Goethe so wisely said, boldness has magic and power in it.

Best wishes and good luck
Will do all I can to help this book to get noticed
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

R.A. Battles wrote 797 days ago

Hi Bob,

I hope you get your book published. My dad and my older brother fought bone cancer and taught me how powerful the mind can be if you are determined to live.

I admire you for writing this poignant story, and I hope others will as well. I'm happy to back you with my very best wishes for your health and your success. I'm sure writing has been therapautic.

Rodney

Tim Roux wrote 797 days ago

I read this book over the summer, having met Bob on the author's blogging site Speak Without Interruption. It is definitely one of my favourite books of all time (and listed as such here) and not at all as you might suspect. Bob has incredible visceral writing power, no tricks, just straight-from-the-heart-and-brain shooting (lots of brain, lots of heart) and a moral courage in expressing himself which matches his physical courage. It is a masterpiece and has the additional advantage of being a novella, as most masterpieces are. Read it in without breathing, then exhale and thank the Lord that you have not had to go through what Bob went through with clear blue eyes determinedly open (and still has to endure every day from the side-effects of the treatments). Backed and a lot more. Undying devotion. I am waiting for the paperback so I can give it to all whom I love the most to feed their bodies and their souls.

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