Children of Salem - Romance Amid the Witch Trials

Stones -- thanks for your kind words for Children of Salem. I got tired of shopping it around (for years and years now...turned down by every agent and editor who has taken a look at it - all of em) and so I put it out there as a Kindle Original and it is selling like gang-busters....of 46 titles I have on Kindle shelves now, it is my top grossing title.

Again thanks - have totally gotten busy with Kindle Original titles - last five books I placed on Kindle.

Rob Walker
www/robertwalkerbooks.com

Well written and on a subject that should be very popular. Brilliant ending to the first chapter - leaving us to wonder if she's just totally mad, or if such things can happen. The voices of the characters are all different and all believable. It's full of atmosphere and begs the reader to carry on. It's too late for me to read further tonight, but I shall definitely be back tomorrow to read more.
Cariad
STONES.

Missey -- I have since placed the enitre book onto Kindle - which allows many formats and there are apps for just about everything, Ipad, Iphone, droid, PC, Mac. It is priced at a mere 2.99. The entire 3 vols. In fact, have had it up for some time and it is my best selling title on Kindle out of 46 titles. It has garnedered great reviews, too, on amazon.com Kindle. Thank you so much for yourr kind words about Children of Salem. As you can imagine, I have been totally busy with putting books onto Kindle bookstore shelves.

Robert W. Walker (Rob)

This is awesome. I've always been so fascinated by the Salem witch trials and only a couple chapters in I can tell you I'd read it all if I could. Your characters are each distinct and while the prologue felt a little long, it gave me a great foreboding of what is coming. Jerimiah is an interesting character, I'm curious to know what happened with him and Serena and how things will be with them. I love the end of chapter 1, nice amount of spooky in there but not a whole lot. Know what I mean? I like your mixture here. I've tried to mix romance and thriller myself because it's what I love to read. You've done a great job with this, I even forgot to look for things to nitpick. I will read on as much as I can, you've caught my attention!

Stars for now and a shelving soon!
Missy

This is a great piece of historical fiction. I like how your character is going to infiltrate the church. Also an interesting love story you set up. 5 stars Greatly appreciated if you return the read-Dina of 33 and Halo of the Damned

This is awesome. I've always been so fascinated by the Salem witch trials and only a couple chapters in I can tell you I'd read it all if I could. Your characters are each distinct and while the prologue felt a little long, it gave me a great foreboding of what is coming. Jerimiah is an interesting character, I'm curious to know what happened with him and Serena and how things will be with them. I love the end of chapter 1, nice amount of spooky in there but not a whole lot. Know what I mean? I like your mixture here. I've tried to mix romance and thriller myself because it's what I love to read. You've done a great job with this, I even forgot to look for things to nitpick. I will read on as much as I can, you've caught my attention!

Stars for now and a shelving soon!
Missy

Sounds like a great book. Love the Salem history. If time, please check out my 33 or Halo of the Damned. Dina

Well written and on a subject that should be very popular. Brilliant ending to the first chapter - leaving us to wonder if she's just totally mad, or if such things can happen. The voices of the characters are all different and all believable. It's full of atmosphere and begs the reader to carry on. It's too late for me to read further tonight, but I shall definitely be back tomorrow to read more.
Cariad
STONES.

The pitch for Children of Salem is extremely good - I just had to go on and see how Jeremy and Serena find their way through the Salem witch trials. You write very well in th idiom of the period, and your presentation of quite a well-known historical event is convincing. I'll be happy to back this.
One significant niggle, though, is your mixture of the thriller and romance genre styles. IMHO they are rather oil and water; the romantics will love the gush of the 'starkly handsome' man and the woman's 'shock of raven-black hair', but the thriller writer in me wants to get on with the plot and cut out the flowery phrases. Conversely, the narrative pace and action of a good thriller will not appeal to a lover of gentler paced romances. Just a personal opinion, but you may have to target your genre and audience more precisely to get this to really fly off the bookshelves. Good luck.

The scholarship that went into this story is evident. . .any serious reader of the era will be fascinated.
Will continue to read and keep on watchlist.
Just one observation - and I may be wrong here - the listing of the Puritan names: it seems that most Puritan names were strictly Biblical or someties combinations of family surnames - the 'grace' names of which you write are more of a trend among the Quakers. Increase Mather is an unusal exception. . .and Cotton Mather is a combo of surnames.
I hope you upload the remainder here. You have a reader in me.

This is an intriguing idea, one I think will go down a storm in the market. Haven't heard of much based on the Salem trials. I love the cover, this is what I could see on the shelves. Is perfect.
An interesting premise, with great characters. The prologue left me a little unsatisfied as not much happens. Is not as exciting as the chapters that come after it. Though it did establish Jeremy into the forefront and allow us into him a little, and his emergence into the town.
The first chapter gave me a chill. Sarah and the doll. Shiver.
This is moving on at a decent speed (though I think the opening prologue is a bit lengthy and could be cut down)
The writing is clear, direct and sharp. Like one of Goode's needles.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

A strange disturbing read, reminding me at times of Shakespeare... the casual introduction, then the switch to more serious action with the witch ramming the needles into the doll. One typo (Wakley or Wakely?)..Shelved
Frank

Dear Robert, a read recommended by a friend and this is new, what an interesting story, well done.
Will be backed with pleasure,
Eleanor and Sharkey.

This is my second read of the Salem topic this evening... and I am pleased to have found such contrasts. This is a much different take than the other-- the thriller/romance twist is a great surprise. I normally would never think of romance in the context of the witch trials, but why not? You are making it work. There are thrills and chills and it's got a great pace. Shelved.

Ruth/Base Spirits

"She heard the doll whisper . . . the doll winked at her under the candle glow . . ." Your book has a lot to offer. I like the idea of a clerical spy, the servant from Barbados with voodoo power, the woman (Sarah Goode) out to seek revenge on Parris, and a blacksmith that can make dolls that wink. This is a nicely crafted tale of witchcraft, historical characters, and intrigue in early New England. I want to read a lot more of it when I can find the time. Well done.

Hi Robert, Although the outset wasn’t as immersing as what came after, it established the church characters, Jeremiah, and gave much background to the situation at Salem. Sarah’s revenge, Jeremiah’s entrance into town, and Parris were depicted with rich atmosphere. Already, through the POV’s, I was speculating and comparing stories. The dialogue is nice combination of straightforward speech and the perspective of the time period. Very intriguing as the story catches and makes one wonder at history. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Good pitch, Robert. Just had to read some of this. This is just a really good, very unique story. The beginning is very well done and draws the reader as the story progresses. I read the first 3 chapters, skipped ahead and did some skimming. Yep, it stays strong. I think this one will do well here, and hopefully in the marketplace. I just gotta shelve it. Wish you the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Hairy scary sexy and brilliantly catchy.
you've really made history come alive.
Congratulations.. Hopefully you'll grace this site
with some more of your writing.
best wishes,,,,,,,,,mikey The Free

This is a cracking premise....I've read a fair few novels using the Salem witch trials as a base but none with an ecumenical spy (what a fabulous term!) and none with that kind of romantic lure.
Your writing does it justice too - this seems very polished, both in historical detail and in narrative style. Good characterisation, clear realistic dialogue, just the right amount of description and events moving at a crisp trot. Interesting that you've gone the 'real witchcraft' route...the detail of the doll at the end of the second chapter was seriously spooky, as was her intent for the poppet.
Sorry, no useful crit here.. I really enjoyed it and read eagerly along. Only this being on screen put me off continuing. It's the kind of book I love and certainly one I'd buy from a store.
Huge good luck with it.
Backed
Jane
WALKER

I sent you a message; do hope you rec'd it.
Rob Walker

This is a cracking premise....I've read a fair few novels using the Salem witch trials as a base but none with an ecumenical spy (what a fabulous term!) and none with that kind of romantic lure.
Your writing does it justice too - this seems very polished, both in historical detail and in narrative style. Good characterisation, clear realistic dialogue, just the right amount of description and events moving at a crisp trot. Interesting that you've gone the 'real witchcraft' route...the detail of the doll at the end of the second chapter was seriously spooky, as was her intent for the poppet.
Sorry, no useful crit here.. I really enjoyed it and read eagerly along. Only this being on screen put me off continuing. It's the kind of book I love and certainly one I'd buy from a store.
Huge good luck with it.
Backed
Jane
WALKER

Brilliant pitch and your opening is just as interesting. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Your pitch is great and this along with your title caught my attention.

What a fascinating topic, the Salem witch trials and I would love reading this to learn more about this period and what occurred. Add a rekindled romance to this and I'm sold.

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

This is crawling creepy, we knowit-s
going to turn out horrible.
Shelved with a shiver..........mikey The Free

I love your pitch and your opening is just as compelling! Happy to back this right now!
Simon

This is an interesting choice of subject, with a good plot ready made, in a sense. The book will depend on the skill with which you write, and your ability to bring your characters and your setting to life. I think you have succeeded well in both these areas. Jeremiah is a bright, interesting character, clever and with strong opinions, and easy to relate to. The historical detail, and the mention of well known people, sounds accurate, and makes us feel at home in the setting. The first example of witchcraft, as Sarah Goode practices against the child Betty Parris, is chilling in the extreme, especially as the woman herself is very aware of the evil she is doing, half reluctant, yet justifying her actions. You write well and clearly, with only occasional editing needed. (For instance, you seem to have repeated a few lines right at the start, probably in the course of making changes?) A book which succeeds in taking us into a time of compelling interest. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Robert

Short Pitch
but he fears most he has lost........should that be.......he fears most he has lost......

Long Pitch
The opening sentence is over 40 words long, should there be a break somewhere. ?

Chapter One...
Opening with dialogue is risky....A Literary Agent gave a speech at a conference I attended, she said.....Opening with dialogue is like sitting in the theatre, the play begins but the curtain does not rise....The only person that can see the opening scene is the writer....

We dont know Jeremiah and The Reverend are in a church until the 4th paragraph.....You have it all here, just not in the requisite order.....I'd shift the setting to the top and then start the dialogue.....

I did a tour of New England a couple of years ago, I found some parts very similar to my native Scotland.....Salem is a fabulous setting, original ....Makes a nice change from New York or London.....

Good luck with this......I enjoyed the read.....

Dialogue seems authentic. Therefore, dialogue captures reader, and transports him/her into the past. Nice effects created by your style, and I felt engaged with the characters from the start.

Good luck to you.

BACKED

Hi
Prologue: about 2 pages down - 'One tomb he cared not to read.' tome?
about 1 page up from bottom - Boston from Casco Bay 'Then the Puritan leadership ...' There?
c1 -2 : voodoo. Waiting
ch3 Rev. Parris

Certainly has the feel of old New England - cold, drafty, formal
good luck with this.
g.

Thanks a million for the feedback; you are right on. I will have to clean these items up. Appreciate it.
Rob

Hi
Prologue: about 2 pages down - 'One tomb he cared not to read.' tome?
about 1 page up from bottom - Boston from Casco Bay 'Then the Puritan leadership ...' There?
c1 -2 : voodoo. Waiting
ch3 Rev. Parris

Certainly has the feel of old New England - cold, drafty, formal
good luck with this.
g.

Thanks a million for the feedback; you are right on. I will have to clean these items up. Appreciate it.
Rob

Hi Robert,
Your bio is impressive as are the first 5 chapters Children of Salem.....
Typically not the type of book I would read, however with your experience I felt it important to see how a published author creates characters and dialogue. I particularly apprreciate how I am immediately aware of the story and feel the intensity of the characters.
I am backing your book and would love you to critique, if you have time - The Transformer.
Jane Cooper

This is just so good.
Backed.

Children of Salem: Love in the Time of the Witch Trials

Hi Robert,

This is accomplished stuff and I am not surprised that you have been published elsewhere. The plot unfolds quickly, the character aid and abet this process, you draw them well into the world. You must have spent much time in this world before we get here because we find that the ground is well trodden and each person's actions and dialogue are consummate with that larger plan. This has been edited well, the ruthlessness expunging most unnecessary adjectives and adverbs, although I noticed one or two that had crept through. Do we need him to be starkly handsome, for example, won't simply handsome do?

Enjoyed this very much and would have plunged more deeply into it had there been the time, best wishes and best of luck, I will promote this in the forum sometime soon.

Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss) - all help gratefully received