Lethal Knowledge

I like the characters, and the plot is moving along quickly. I'm not a fan of the repeated foreshadowing in early chapter one -- there are numerous points where he "feels" something's about to happen. I think this could be handled more quickly, then show his distraction or unease without constantly naming it.

stuart
high cotton

What an opening! It's apparent from Ch 1 that the story's got characters and a plot to run with. My only worry would be that the prologue is deflationary and unnecessary. Simon doesn't need to work, lives on a beach, effortlessly wins fights against weird sociopaths on the beach in front of a group of scantily-clad models, lives with a gorgeous model with no children, alternates between sleeping, strolling and drinking beer and has a backstory to put James Bond in the shade. And his only gnawing anxiety is when to get back to work...my point is that it makes it sound like all the exciting stuff has happened before your book even starts, and that Simon is just living out his villeggiatura in style. You could probably introduce most of this information later and sucker-punch the reader with something exciting at the beginning instead. Well done, anyway, will continue to look in.

This is very much a thriller of our times, and your up-to-date scenario will make this book a winner. You write with immense confidence and clarity, and have clearly put a lot of work into the structure of this excellent book to make it cohesive. You have strong characters and believable dialogue, and the pace is fast and furious. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony.

I like your beginning but I'm not sure it needs to be a prologue, it could just as easily be your first chapter.

I think for one there is a lot of info for a prologue so you would need to either cut it down to make it a shorter quicker intro or as I said make it chapter one. If you were to shorten it you could use some of the prologue as a chapter one. I just think with the back story plus the scene on the beach with the guys who crashed through the modelling shoot is all a bit much for a prologue. That is just me though and only my opinion of course.

Aside from this small thing I was hooked. I like the character in Simon and the story behind where he is at etc. Then the hooker at the end of chapter one... this shows me it is going to be a great story. My kind of story.

I look forward to reading on.

Backed

Jo xx

Spoilt

I really enjoyed the description of the car ambush in the alley. You gave a hint that Sena was something other than a model by her unfussy reaction to having to escape from a car through its sun roof etc. I would like to come back and read some more when it is posted. Meanwhile I will give you a whirl on my shelf. Regards, Anne "Tyson's Tale."

good writing - enjoyable

backed

kev

Yep, don't ignore it...

except for the story opening, like the last book i read, with a firearm being produced to do some killing... i was impressed. Not one for thrillers, i actually quite like this. Characters came alive for me, and there was quite a bit of action from the outset to keep me interested.

BACKED

Hi PJ

good storyline, great dialogue - shelved

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Lethal Knowledge

Hi PJ,

I read your other one earlier and I enjoyed this one a little more I think. We explode into action, a longish prologue which sets us up nicely. I liked the end of the prologue, a nice hook into the main section of the book. You write in a no-nonsense and simple style, accessible and easy to read. Gritty, first person POV works well, like the last one PJ I'm going to back this - well done.

Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Have just found your book and read the first three chaps. It was easy to follow and although you chapters are quite long the story flowed easily to chap 3. I shall come back to see if Jacki is another victim of her father's P.I status. On my W.L. Anne "Tyson's Tale."

Looks like an interesting story, though I skipped the prologue. I'm not a fan of prologues, generally. They always remind me of the back cover of a book. That doesn't necessarily mean yours does - I have no idea because I didn't read it! Sorry. Anyway, you write smoothly and descriptively, and keep it clear for the reader. There are some minor editing problems (like "enquiring look" "confused face" - instead of "telling", "show". What do those looks entail? A lifted eyebrow? A furrowed brow?), but those will get worked out eventually.
backed for potential
- Genevieve
Under the Same Sky
p.s. I'd love to hear what you think of my book when you get a chance.

Great story so far. You've kept my interest and made me want to read more. I like your main character, Simon. He's interesting. Your writing is good and this is an easy read. I think this is a good story and should do well.

Backed by SD Gillen

This is the third book of my 'Simon Says' trilogy. I don't classify it as a mystery/crime, more of a Private Detective Adventure.

This is a complete book of 73K+ but I have only a few chapters here. If you are interested in the complete book, message me and we can discuss a swap.