A Creeky murder mystery

Ok there's good writing in here but is the garble an Authonomy glitch? Gave up. Life's too short. Wont star it because I think this has to be a mistake, or the author has passed away??

You write very well and as Jonathan Creek is a favourite show of mine you have already hooked my interest. However, due to the denseness of the text I found it nearly impossible to read on screen, one blink and I lost my place. Please, for the sake of your readers, split the mega-paragraphs up into bitesize chunks and indent where people are speaking. Check out other books on site if you are not sure how to do this. Your story deserves an airing, so you owe it to yourself to present it in a format that makes it accessible. :)

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Jonathan. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

May I suggest though that you use proper punctuation and not have everything in giant run-on paragraphs.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Dear Niala

I have started to read your writing and must say that it is compelling. Already you have established your animated characters in my head, ( they are not leaving soon) and i feel strongly to back your book now. I do wish to be part of your climb to the top on this site. CONGRATS and I will comment more as I read more

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK also

The VERY best of luck to you

Denise
The Letter

Dear Niala, It is wonderful that you had all of your book on one chapter so that I didn't have to keep clicking & waiting for each chapter to come up. :) What a fast read. :) I love that your are published. :) Did it cost you anything? Did they accept your edited version as is? Though mine's been edited innumerable times since '97, they still want me to change almost every line which would ruin it, at blazingstar.com. :( I have backed your wonderful adventure. :) Hope you'll write many more books. :) Hope, also, that you'll take a moment to back my 2 memoir books. :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :)

Niala, I like the premise - I'm a huge Jonathan Creek fan - but you need to reformat - with no white space between paragraphs it's hard to read and difficult to tell who is speaking. I assume Maddy is the narrator, you've captured her voice pretty well.
Paula L

This is ingenious and absolutely my sort of thriller. Please get it published soon so I can buy it .You must write hundreds more. Backed. Lynn

THIS BOOK NEEDS TO RE FORMATTED INTO A READABLE FORMAT AND BROKEN INTO PARAGRAPHS
BACKED FOR ITS CONTENT AND POTENTIAL
THE LORD OF THE DAWN

Hi Niala and how are you?

Although this work needs formatting, what work doesn't! I think you have a sound story here. Remember...No book is written, every book is re-written.

BACKED

Hope you get the chance to take a little peek inside The Russian Hat

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

See nialaravinebooks.yolasite.com for the edited version

I find this virtually unreadable...why not spend some time making the text accessible?
Thanks
Stewart

I find this virtually unreadable...why not spend some time making the text accessible?
Thanks
Stewart

Backed with pleasure. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Hi Niala, I agree trying to change or update is a very clumsy process. I like the book and I back it. Harold Alvin(icon)Wesley

Thanks for your comments i am glad you like it.
I can not reformat it since i did submit it as one chapter and did not name this so i can not get back in to it.
nialaravinebooks.yolasite.com is my website and there i have paragaphs so it is easier to read.
Tanks again
Niala

There's a good story here. It's buried, tho, under a lack of formatting (I see from other comments, you've already been told that, so okay). Locating this on a famous yatch is clever. I'm impressed with how much research you must have done to be able to describe the ship to make this feel authentic. Makes it a good read (aside from the long paragraphs). I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

There's a good story here. It's buried, tho, under a lack of formatting (I see from other comments, you've already been told that, so okay). Locating this on a famous yatch is clever. I'm impressed with how much research you must have done to be able to describe the ship to make this feel authentic. Makes it a good read (aside from the long paragraphs). I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Thanks for your comments yes i can always change his name, LOL

Hi Niala. Sorry, but my eyes just can't cope with the layout, without any paragraph breaks. I also do wonder whether you might be infringing some sort of copyright or trademark with whoever "owns" the concept of Joanathan Creek, especially since your character is called Jonathan. Have you thought of giving him a different name and making your story stand on its own?

Good luck with this.

Hi Niala. Sorry, but my eyes just can't cope with the layout, without any paragraph breaks. I also do wonder whether you might be infringing some sort of copyright or trademark with whoever "owns" the concept of Joanathan Creek, especially since your character is called Jonathan. Have you thought of giving him a different name and making your story stand on its own?

Good luck with this.

Thank you for your comments.

I did my best to read at least the first part of your book, but I'm afraid I do need the text to be broken up into paragraphs and each new piece of the dialogue to be begun on a fresh line.
This solid block of text makes serious reading very difficult.
If you'd like to leave me a message when you've had a chance to break it all down I'd be happy to take a second look.

I did my best to read at least the first part of your book, but I'm afraid I do need the text to be broken up into paragraphs and each new piece of the dialogue to be begun on a fresh line.
This solid block of text makes serious reading very difficult.
If you'd like to leave me a message when you've had a chance to break it all down I'd be happy to take a second look.

Hi Niala,

I happened across a couple of notes from you on other member's profiles (people who, incidentally, are victims of a site glitch that's sending empty messages to everyone) and decided since you were looking for feedback on your story, I'd give it a peek. My first question unfortunately, is - seriously? This is a real book? With nary a paragraph in sight, I'm having a difficult time reading it, let alone following the run-on sentences. And to say your book is done in the style of Jonathan Creek? My lord, talk about hubris! If you are truly looking for helpful suggestions, mine would be to tone down your attitude, read everything you can get your hands on, and take tons of notes. Best of luck with this.

Sorry what is nary or a run-on sentence, I am realy thick you see so please explain.
Hubris cleaver word! No I am not realy truly looking for suggestions but thank you so much for volenteering them anyway, I do like your attitude and would like to know more about you, it does piss me off when people flount their books on me whitout commenting on my work, at least you have an opinion and I think you are feisty (hope this is spelled corectly, no bloody spell check here is there, since I loath to upset you and incur your wrath)
Anyway my exuse is that i,m Dutch, that always woks.

So tell me more about yourself. And I will work on my attitude.
~Traci

Hi Niala,

I happened across a couple of notes from you on other member's profiles (people who, incidentally, are victims of a site glitch that's sending empty messages to everyone) and decided since you were looking for feedback on your story, I'd give it a peek. My first question unfortunately, is - seriously? This is a real book? With nary a paragraph in sight, I'm having a difficult time reading it, let alone following the run-on sentences. And to say your book is done in the style of Jonathan Creek? My lord, talk about hubris! If you are truly looking for helpful suggestions, mine would be to tone down your attitude, read everything you can get your hands on, and take tons of notes. Best of luck with this.

~Traci

Thank you, you

thank you you are the only one not plugging thrir own, thanks a lot

I absolutely adore Jonathan Creek! How can I not back this? Work on your pitch though, pull in more readers and good luck with this. It certainly has potential!
Simon

I absolutely adore Jonathan Creek! How can I not back this? Work on your pitch though, pull in more readers and good luck with this. It certainly has potential!
Simon

Thank you, you

I absolutely adore Jonathan Creek! How can I not back this? Work on your pitch though, pull in more readers and good luck with this. It certainly has potential!
Simon