The ark and the aroma of peril

Vinay--

Pure juice of imagination.
Reading chapters 1-3 initially shows your gift of writing employing a strong world of your mind creation. I admire your writing skill. by adding a more poetic array of language manipulation, this book will top on the peak of execellence. Characters need more emotions to act like they were not humanoids but a more believable characters. Narrative techinique is fine but keen details require more emphasis. I beleive that this book will turn out to be a good movie soon. I am amazed at the range of writers who have published work on Authomony. Many works on this site would not be out of place in High Street book shops. I think that it is more a reflection of the state of the publishing industry these days, rather than a reflection on the quality of the writing, that so many talented authors find that their work is not taken up by publishers. I will back your work as I feel that your efforts deserve it. Best of luck.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Thank you for your read of Matty :)

I like the way you write, it's different, very visual, and I enjoyed the read.

I can hear your voice in your writing, you're clearly loving what you do here and it shows.

I don't nit-pick, so will just say that this is on my shelf and I wish you luck with it.

Bests,

AP
(The Awesome Adventures of Matty McDuff)

Very brave writing here, and uncommon territory. Your heart and soul is in this and it really shows, but I really can't give you a fair critique. It's not something I read, but I think a lot of people looking for poetic depth and a fantastic array of language play will absolutely love this work. You have tremendous talent! Go for the gold!

Vinay
Excellent, very visual writing. The imagery is great, lots of choices of words with added colour. Good story telling, very rich. You are passionate about your work and it shows through. Lovely! Backed. Rosali.
Fieldtrip to Mars
Thank you for unexpected backing of Fieldtrip to Mars also. Much appreciated. X

Very very interesting. Your story is like an English lesson because it made me think which word would fit your meaning better, but then also made me think 'why do we use that particular word in English and not the one chosen by S Vinay Kumar?' An example is: 'having been shuddered by something', whereas normally I would expect to read 'having been frightened by something.'
A unique work, you have perhaps started a fashion or new wave in English literature [unless I have missed this happening somewhere else.] On my watch list.

A beautifully written and unusual narrative, with a very intriguing story. I love your descriptions and the future world you create. The ark suggests mystery and foreboding and I am sure this will develop into a most interesting and exciting story.
Best of luck
Rachael
Dreamscape

Wow! I feel I've discovered another talented young writer on this site! Vivid imagery, and a fresh voice with a story that fits perfectly with the current young adult market. I'm going to watchlist this, and this youngster merits watching!

Some of the words in this writing are beautiful and tingle the imagination. However, your grasp of English holds you back, through no fault of your own.

I know you will continue to work on your craft and perfect your writing skill. Don't let a small thing like knowledge of how to express yourself in English deter you. Your meaning grips the reader.

I'll use some of the words from the last paragraph as an example and write it without the use of 'was' & 'were', which you seem to have developed a habit of using.

Incised pieces of plane flew like things without gravity. Frightful sounds and shattering green light cleared the way straight to me, turning the hard silicone plane to red. Lava flowed from it and he seemed to enter the flowing liquid. Orange light camoflaged his sight from the blurred centre. He focused on the last thing he saw before his senses left him. A single drop of red.

I hope this helps.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

My husbands type of book.
Backed.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Not my type of book but my husband has enjoyed what he has read so far.
Backed with pleasure.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Hi, great imagination and story telling talent. Your work needs a thorough edit though. Have it done professionally!
Happily backed, Fabrice, Club Wars

Although there are many grammatical errors and you need help both with sentence construction and your tendency to change the tenses of verbs mid-phrase, there is definitely a strong imagination at work with a distinct desire to tell a story.

And, despite the clunkiness sometimes found in your storytelling, there is an odd and wonderful poetry to how you write. For that alone, I'm happy to give this a spin on my shelf.

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

I just read the first chapter of your book. Although I am not a science fiction kind of guy, your use of language is really interesting. Lots of different words and unique illustrations. Keep writing, and thanks for backing my book!
RW Talmage

Nice imagery. Starting with Chapter 1 "A Closed Book" is quite funny. Some of your descriptions are pure poetry. Careful not to change tense ("she loves him" and then "she loved him"). A grammatical edit would make this better- can you run it by someone who's good at editing? Backed.

Hi Viany

I have to say that I love this genre (Sci Fi) and have read a far bit of it. Your plot works well and I like your ideas.

Some of the sentence construction needs work and I think you could get some value from “Free Natural Reader” software that reads your work aloud to you.

Good luck on your journey

Backed with pleasure

Andrew Monk

The Ark and the Aroma of Peril is an intriguing look into the future with vivid descriptions throughout. Backed.

I have a high respect for what you have accomplished, and at so young an age. I have to say "The Ark and the Aroma of Peril" is extremely poetic and a captivating read.

Keep up with all of your endeavors!

CSAndersen

You have done well to complete a novel by the age of 19 and even more to do so in a language that is not your first. That's a tremendous achievement. Your writing has a definite poetic quality to it and feels almost like a dream. I especially admire the way you use colour, for example in your description of the sky and the green of the wolf in Sinhaa's dream. The smell associated with the wolf is also very threatening.
I will be honest here and suggest that although this story does reveal your ability as a writer, showing you have a powerful imagination and the ability to create interesting characters, you need to go a bit further. You need to get this edited to improve the English and correct the grammatical mistakes. This will improve your story and open it up to many more readers.
But I will back you for the potential of The Ark and the Aroma of Peril.
Cherry G.
The Girl from Ithaca

This is an enchanting story with interesting and well fleshed out characters. Lovely descriptions. Superb world building. Your storyline is magical. A delight to read. Backed.

This is a clever concept well thought out and weaved into an intricate story that is very visual and your near world shows an inventive imagination

A book to give you dreams not nightmares If I was a child I would really enjoy this... actually I did as an adult as well
Gingernut

I like the premise and the language of the book. I'd suggest cleaning up your long pitch a bit; omitted words and vague sentences detract from the strong story line. "His troubles commences (make commence singular). In the same sentence, change the order to something like, "Rahul, troubled that his girlfriend is neither normal or human, discovers she likely planned an attack by a monster (be more specific). We'll assume she's important to him, since she's his girlfriend, so scratch the last sentence in paragraph one. Earlier in the pitch you wrote "His son took a job for inventing new ____." Give us that omitted word. I have no complaints about the language of your book. The style, fresh and exciting, comes through in spite of minor issues, which all the manuscripts on the site could use (including mine) with rare exceptions. Good luck. I want to see this on more bookshelves.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Vinay,
After reading your first chapter, I found the descriptions vivid and pituresque. However, you lack articles in certain necessary places and sometimes have singular or plural subjects with verbs that are conjugated for the opposite. I think this has a great deal of potential, but needs a thorough scrub down for grammar and flow. Just my two cents. Backed on potential. Hope this helps.

Weston Kincade
Invisible Dawn

This is poetry in motion! The words flow, and a unique picture full of senses is painted. Backed.

Good pitch but I can’t really make the cover out I suppose its good at real size. This is an exceptionally good piece of children’s writing I think out 10 and 12 years olds would like this. I don’t think its an easy thing writing for children they are so choosy but you have done a very good job here a bit of history and back story make this meaty enough for the almost,’ Young Adults’ Good luck with it.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look

The arc and the aroma of peril

Highly impressive is the poetic opening of the Novel with its first chapter: The closed book.
Hi Vinay, you have an artistic ability to pick up rare gems from the elegant casket of English vocabulary to set them in your masterly prose.
My Compliments.
Backed.
TMN
"NEVER LOSE..."

Good stuff here that I can't really fault, I like it, it entertains me and I got caught up in it, not finished by a long shot yet but enjoying it.

Vinay,

This is some Great work. I have a 14 year old that writes and I really enjoy the style that emerges in a good young writer. Your voice is so prevelant in your work. This manifests for me the emergence of a unique style.

The premise is perfect especially for your target audience.

You have an awesome piece of art here and I hope your wonderful voice is never edited out. It is real giving it beautiful character.

Backed!
Good Luck! Keep wrting!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

In my opinion, your English is not good enough for this to be seriously considered for publication. It is simply too difficult to read and understand. And yet there are places when your writing has a real music to it. This in Ch 14, 'He was obliged by something, he didn't know what it was, many called as love. It made him to think her and made him to say sorry to her. His eyes were foraging for her, clearing the dust drifting from the books. His heart wavered on seeing her.' It is so descriptive and quite beautiful, in spite of errors in grammar and oddities in the way you have used words. I am not backing your book, but have no hesitation in calling you a writer. I wish you luck with your future writing. Marj.

English is obviously not your first language, but reading your story is like hearing you speak and I can almost hear your accent. I find it quite charming and different, which will endear it to many readers. Backed for its potential. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

This is an interesting read and I like the premise. BACKED! The best of luct to you in your writing!

- Scott

S. Vinay,

I read the first 2 chapters of your book with great difficulty. Although I enjoyed the 2225 vernacular of your main character, which was quite clever, I couldn't get past the poor sentence structure. I had to read many paragraphs and sentences several times to decipher their meaning. As an example (from your pitch) "His wit should act cleverly than in inventing new in science." and "his son Arjun singaa took his job for inventing new." I have no idea what those two statements mean.

This book needs serious editing for grammar problems.

Hope that helps in the long run.

JohnB

Hello, and congratulations. Some syntax and vocabulary not standard to American English; may I assume this may be a book in translation or written by a multilingual author? Anyway, as I read your "about me," this is quite a remarkable achievement and I wish you success in your personal goal to be a well known and well respected writer.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

An interesting read. My suggestion to give it a smooth flow is to replace too many it(s) with something more vivid. Otherwise pretty good! Backed

Thank you for your comment and kindness Kumar,

I wish you the best as well,

Kind regards,
Miguel

Thank you for your comment and kindness Kumar,

I wish you the best as well,

Kind regards,
Miguel

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

Wow - you are one talented young man! This is a great premise and so far a very compelling read. There is little doubt you will be published before you finish your twenties. Backed 100% and congratulations.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi. After six days on this site I am (unbelievably) still running to catch up with the people who have been kind enough to back me. Every time I log on I have thirty people to thank and review in return before I even get a chance to read some that I have picked myself from the book list. So, and I do not mean to be unhelpful, I am BACKING this on the read because I think it is every bit good enough to be in print (I think that is the criteria I should be using) but, although I have made written comments, I have no time to type up my thoughts. If you want them just message me and I promise to get to them ASAP. Otherwise, BACKED.

Very weird


Lynne Ellison

The Green Bronze Mirror

You have an interesting idea here, but I found it difficult to read. Is English your first language? Did you write this in another language and use a translation program? I would encourage you to work on cleaning up the language/translation before you advance to the editor's desk on this site.

Good luck and best wishes.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Interesting story about a perilous future told poetically. The Ark seems to exclude any real description in the opening chapters as to its function allowing for the many distractions, the airport, the androids, but upon closing one eyes the past is seen. A shield to protect the organs from fatal bacteria is an imaginitive concept and thus increasing the longevity of a person. With the possibility of consequences with regard the past to the future ' The Ark And The Aroma Of Peril has my backing.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

Vinay--

Pure juice of imagination.
Reading chapters 1-3 initially shows your gift of writing employing a strong world of your mind creation. I admire your writing skill. by adding a more poetic array of language manipulation, this book will top on the peak of execellence. Characters need more emotions to act like they were not humanoids but a more believable characters. Narrative techinique is fine but keen details require more emphasis. I beleive that this book will turn out to be a good movie soon. I am amazed at the range of writers who have published work on Authomony. Many works on this site would not be out of place in High Street book shops. I think that it is more a reflection of the state of the publishing industry these days, rather than a reflection on the quality of the writing, that so many talented authors find that their work is not taken up by publishers. I will back your work as I feel that your efforts deserve it. Best of luck.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND

Dear S
just had to comment again about the book cover.. What a good book. I started reading this some time ago and just wanted to let you know, now done. I commented and backed it a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Brilliant. Loved every word.
BACKED
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

HI Vinay
This is an intriguing read and you convery your thoughts to screen really well. It is still a bit disjointed at times given English I suspect is not your first language, but it doesn't spoil the enjoyment. Your writing is sharply visual and it is easy to immerse oneself in your story.
DP Walker
Five Dares

This is an interesting read. You use unusual sentence constructions at times that made me stop and re-read, but overall, you have a flowing writing style that carried me forward. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I'm going to be as honest as I can. I really don't know what to make of this, because it is so unusual. You backed my book long ago, but I've resisted backing Ark for the reason I just stated. I'm not sure if the strange diction is because English is not your first language, or because you are tapping into your subconscious and laying it out on the page. I suspect a little of both. The result is a strangeness which is at once poetic and confusing. But then, the same thing has been said about many great poets and writers. I've decided to back your book, because I think there is a bit of genius in you. To have written a novel at your age is a great achievment, to do it in a second language even more so.

Mr Kumar, your first chapter reads smoothly. Good work.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

This is not the kind of stuff I usually read so it's very difficult for me to comment objectively. To me, it has the beginnings of lyricism but it's quite trippy, too... a lot of it didn't make any sense to me which probably means that I'm not your target market rather than any reflection on what you have written. I don't think I'd enjoy this but then, I know, for sure, I wouldn't enjoy Ulysses by James Joyce and that is hailed as one of the greatest literary works of all time.

Good luck with it anyway!

Cheers

Mary Mc

Hi, I had a look at the first chapter. I noticed a few mistakes with grammar and punctuation, but when you edit it you will have quite an interesting story on your hands.

Hello Vinay, your book has a wonderful story to tell us, how interesting to jump to 2225. I hope that it gets the attention it deserves. With very best wishes,
Carla
The Last Gift

HI SV, Thanks for the backing. I have added yours to my WL and will get to it soon. I took a sneak look at the first chapter and I think you have made some mistakes. Unlike the other comments you have received, I feel that the choice of adjectives is inappropriate. Also, there are some errors with grammar. However, the story is a good one and I will take a more indepth look when it gets to my shelf. All the best with it. Gerry

Thank you for your read of Matty :)

I like the way you write, it's different, very visual, and I enjoyed the read.

I can hear your voice in your writing, you're clearly loving what you do here and it shows.

I don't nit-pick, so will just say that this is on my shelf and I wish you luck with it.

Bests,

AP
(The Awesome Adventures of Matty McDuff)

"Vinay, you have a very interesting read here, however, you do have a story! How sould I say, a diamond in the rough. Don't give up your dream of writing. Work on this book and make changes where needed, you'll see it taking shape and form someday. Keep this one as it is amusing to read, indeed it is. You're my favorite author even if you never write another book! You'll always have a spot on my shelf."

Pavin