Match Day

Darren! Just a quick comment that, after the first three chapters, I AM HOOKED!!! I love, love, love books like this! Crisp, raw, quick. Excellent. I can't wait to dive into the rest of the book. I wish it were a REAL book I could take with me on the subway tomorrow!! I'll comment again after I've read the entire thing.

All right, I found this on my news feed and HAD to have a look! This is just a powerful, amazing, brilliantly written book! Your dialogue, narratives, and storyline are just perfect...nothing here to nitpick. On my shelf.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

One of the best books I have read on Authonomy.
Cathy, Leigh, Martin... all credible, convincing... place, dialogue, inner worlds of all characters... Everything is perfect. Outstanding. This is on my personal Editorial Desk.
Frank

Hey Darren, this is the second time I've come to this - I didn't back it the first time, but I couldn't bring myself to remove it from my watchlist because something about it stayed with me, so I came back to have another look, and now I'm not sure why I was hesitant in the first place - probably over-dosing on trying to find something decent to back and losing my sense of good writing.

The first chapter is actually a very powerfully written chapter - under the easy, contemporary style you have a real depth of feeling that is brought out in just wonderful observations - deep stuff conveyed with a light touch. You capture the feeling of an empty flat, all the memories associated with it, and what an unsettling effect this can have - really hit home with me. The real booker-winning observation for me is when she's trying to remember the photo that used to be on that space on the wall, this really is a summary and focal point for the whole vibe of the chapter and all that pathos/feeling is channeled into that one almost heartbreaking observation - nice cultural reference too with The Smiths, slim chins and waspishness, or whatever the line was - reinforces the feeling of missed opportunities and the reality of the ordinariness of life and trying to cling to something special from the past, and the fear of forgetting. Fucking brilliant.

Chapter 2 is a good contrast in tone, sets up the story-telling framework that you're establishing. One thing I felt that was lacking in this chapter was a lack of clearness on who's POV it was from - I thought it was Mark, then Leigh, then back again. I think this chapter would be stronger if you reinforced the POV and fixed it with one of these guys - I'm not sure what your writerly intention was here, and if you wanted a more omniscient viewpoint, but I'd suggest keeping it locked in with one person's POV for each narrative thread as it suits your style - this may be what you intended and it's just not clear? It's up to you.

First para of chapter 3, where we establish another narrative thread, impressed again with the writing, enough to realise that I had to back this. Well done, this is great stuff, and it's nice to read a decent, sensitively written, contemporary novel. I urge you to keep pushing with this, I want to buy it.

Backed.

You have to get the reader right away in this genre and that's just what you did, great work heerree, good luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

"Match Day" is definitely a book for the male market. The characterizations of each of the POVs is strong. In the Leigh sections you might consider editing out some of the profanity that is just there. Between such intensely "guy" characters as Leigh and Martin I'm actually surprised that Cathy is comes off as such a strong female character. Her plans for her last day of work really got me cheering for her.
Keeping watchlisted.
~Alvinu

Grippingly intense. Almost from the start you write with an air of subtle mystery and increasing tension that leaves the reader desperate for more. A fabulous cast of characters lend realism and humanity with brilliant and realistic dialogue.

What more could I ask for?

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

I skimmed several chapters and really liked it - the writing flows well and it's got a good structure... only niggle was, I have a strong aversion to cliches and you might want to look at elminating or re-writing a few, because I am sure you are able to write better phrases than, for example 'nasty gash' 'dimly-lit' 'milled around' - I know myself I write cliches when I am in a hurry to get stuff down and usually by the 6th draft they've gone... so maybe they'll go in due course. You aren't mainlining cliches as some people are, but your naturally appealing writing would be much better without them.

I like the idea that on any given day, you never know how much you will influence the people you meet that day or they will influence you. So your pitch jumped out at me. You've created three good characters for this; they're all three likable in their different ways. All deserving to have this turn out to be a good day. Made me keep turning pages to see if that was going to happen. Makes this a good read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Great opening chapters, I was hooked straight away and drawn to read more. I'm backing after reading the first three, but will be back to read more!

Karen
The Kid: A True Story of Cocaine, Corruption, Deceit and Betrayal

Brilliant two chapters. Both with good strong endings, filled with restrained emotion. The first chapter is powerful and suspenseful, has me wondering what is going to happen. You have done a wonderful character portrait of Leigh, convincing. He is so full of talk yet insecure.
Very happily backed
Christina

Any book that begins with lyrics from one of my fave bands, 'Eels' is a winner as far as I'm concerned! Will def have a gander!!!!!!!

Great pitch - makes me want to know more and have a read. Well written characters and great dialogue (a stumbling block for many books). Will come back when I have more time but backed for now and I wish you well with it.

I've only gotten through two chapters so far, but this is definitely going on my watchlist--the contrasts are undeniably intriguing.

Dear Daren, I normally can't comment, because of my english. but if i do i do it my way which would be how much each word, sentence, a paragragh, and a story have the power to hook me into the book. yours certainly have all these elements for my liking. so i back it with pleasure.

shah

Hi Darren. Match Day. (I am commenting having read 5 ex 30 chapters). Strong opening chapter -- the life that could have been/the serendipity that destroyed the dreams that never came true; sets the scene well. Excellent characterisation. Reads at times like....er....a Welsh Irvine Welsh(!)...which I guess means Niall Griffiths! HIghly entertaining -- whips along in an easy-to-read style with some wry observations and some great lines. Very happily shelved. ATB Simon (Little Bastard)

Ahhh beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore. I love the characters, especially Leigh. We all know a guy like that--always switched on. Interesting adventure you've got brewing here.
Shelved.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

Jeff Buckley a story in itself! Like the loneliness portrayed in the opening, don’t know if the s**t bit of dialogue (this sounds worse then the way it meant, but don’t know how to rephrase it) worked for me. The rest is very subtle. Second chapter the contrast brilliant. Third so good. Its like Freud’s Id, super-ego and ego coming into play, very good, very clever, this deserves to be read more – good luck.

Famlavan – Museum of Old Beliefs

Darren, ch. 17. and 18 flew by - you have lots of suspense amid fabulously well described scenes - so emotive that they become characters: the mega stadium crowd and all it's sounds - the quiet walkway with the leg - great hook to read on; Loved the desolution and contrast of 'dinasaurs' as a sign of change to come; 'danced in the fetid breeze'; and shark smile slashed..'// Leigh 'he's a twat really' had me lol - and even though i didn't quite get what he was doing, his personality was believable - likewise with 18, although less likeable, he was well drawn and i was really keen for his fighting success:)// a couple of tiny nitpicks: maybe cut dialogue'by that' (after 'What do you mean'-ch 17) and 'prided no comfort' is implied - the scene you've drawn is emotive enough.// Basically i really enjoyed your cruisey style and felt a part of your scenes - it's reminiscent of... might be Welsh??? and a book i would buy and be happy to have it on my shelf. Congrats, and best wishes for publishing success, Monique Grbec (The Male Influence)

Good stuff! I've only read the first chapter, but it is certainly a quality hook and makes me want to turn the next pages. The beginning is succinct but effective, generating unanswered questions about Cathy's life that I'm sure we will discover resolved in the coming pages. Some great lines too -- especially liked the 'time bleeding away' word picture. Backed and deservedly so! Well done!

I expected this to be more laddish somehow and, so, was surprised by how quiet - and how convincingly from a female perspective - the first chapter was. I empathised, then, with Leigh, hiding his anxieties in the loud crowd. Your writing is engaging and you have some nice turns of phrase (‘all cheekbones, youth and waspishness’, ‘the booze helped flatten out the day’). From what I’ve read so far, this feels like it is going to have an interesting structure. I like it.

This is one of those delightful gems that somehow slip by. I just discovered it and can't stop reading.
Match Day would make a wonderful movie -hint, hint. Backed with pleasure.

I like the way you have your characters all at the same place but with a different perspective of the day- I have done the same with my characters in my book Love in No-Man's Land.
A story set around football, you will get a lot of support for your book:)
Backed!

Take care,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Okay, I feel badly. I read a chunk of this over the weekend and then I forgot to comment.

I like this. I like this a lot. And I'll tell you why. You're readable. Sounds odd. Doesn't it? But you know what - read most of the novels on this site. They aren't readable. The author tried too hard or was too lax. But like goldilocks - you've gotten it right.

I'm not saying your text hasn't problems. It does. All texts have problems. That's why there are editors. Editors actually have THE best interest at heart (although the writer might not agree.) Your grammar problems are editable; your talent undeniable.

Good luck.
Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

This is one of those books out there on Authonomy that I would be looking for on the shelves. I like the premise and you don't disappoint with the readers, they talk with great authenticity. I can see this having many fans amongst those who are out for a good read, its mass market fiction rather than of the pretentious literary kind. I shall read on but an early backing is secured.
David
Bailey of the Saints

You do a good job of setting up your characters. I get the impression that this tale will get more and more manic as things go on, until a final explosion of a climax. That, at any rate, is what I think you should go for.

I like the early stages and think there is potential in this idea. Well done and backed!

Good, solid writing and an easy read.
There's a market for this kind of book and I'm sure with a bit of tightening up (there's some very god advice in your other comments) it could do really well.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Very appealing premise and creating a story around a football match should guarantee a strong readership base!

Darren,
There is some fine writing here, but I felt it slow to get moving.
Keep at it.
MickR - The NIghtcrawler

We seem to have comparable strengths and weaknesses as writers, Darren. I think we're both good at voicing, dialogue and characterization, but we suffer from a lack of plotting. I couldn't make much out of Chapter One, except that the lady must be depressed. Chapter Two was a bunch of bollocks Irishmen or maybe Welshmen doing what bollocks fellows do. Lots of humor but... What's driving it?

Will be happy to back in your proposed swap.

Hi Darren,
Liked the pitch so had a peek. On my shelf and having read the opening scene, intrigued to continue.

Good luck and thanks for looking at Marking Time!

Crispy

Great feel for the street and I love the lingo (it's a great change from over here in America, and reminds me of some of the movies from there, like Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking guns). The old Tiger Bay reference and all of it; love the feel of this book. Great description and of course the give and take moving the story. Backed and enjoyed, and will return to keep it going. Thanks.

Hey Darren,

I like what you've done here. The intensity of the match day is incredible. I really enjoyed Cathy's interior thoughts/dreams gone awry, and when I got to Leigh's episodes it only got better. I love the language you've used to give it a real feeling. Certain scenes especially accomplished the intensity of the day and the intensity of the fans (i.e. the overpacked train that smelled like farts). I feel like I was transplanted in Cardiff--scouring the city along with these characters. Good work.

Connor

Thanks Connor.

Darren, I'm really enjoying this. You make your three characters so distinctively different and clear cut that it is easy to emphathise with them. I've had a few "laugh out loud" moments and yet parts, like the first chapter, are quite poignant with Cathy thinking back to happier times. Really easy reading and one which I would choose to buy. Backed, Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

I liked the first chapter a lot! Intriguing character in the midst of an intriguing moment! Backed1

Ben Zaaiman - Person Under Control

Great opening chapter with an enticing hook on both ends. I found nothing to nitpick here. If I had more time to read on, I would. Great read!

Madison Woods - Retribution

Darren! Just a quick comment that, after the first three chapters, I AM HOOKED!!! I love, love, love books like this! Crisp, raw, quick. Excellent. I can't wait to dive into the rest of the book. I wish it were a REAL book I could take with me on the subway tomorrow!! I'll comment again after I've read the entire thing.

There are times when you experience something so well made, virtually perfect construction and flawlessly honed that you can't analyse it. If this is a difficult concept to grasp then read Match Day. Backed. Bocri

Blimey! Cheers!

There are times when you experience something so well made, virtually perfect construction and flawlessly honed that you can't analyse it. If this is a difficult concept to grasp then read Match Day. Backed. Bocri

I like the structure of this, with the three characters introduced in a chapter each. Nice hook at the end of 1, real atmosphere of Cardiff on match day in 2, and a real insight into Martin's character in 3 (typo at start of 3 - alarm clock's). Good stuff Darren!
Cheers,
Simon

Daren, hi...I know I backed this...yet can't find a comment which is unusual for me. I must have backed from the pitch it is good enough for me to have done that...anyway.. I am here again to read and offer a comment, to honor the promise i made to read and remark on writers work that backed Mirror in The Sky by Nick Poole in the month of feb.

Three stories, that is unique in itself, the humour is bloody marvelous i love it...fast, quirky an totally believable.
I don't know a damned thing about sport my friend, but I sure as hell recognize a damned fine reading experience when I see it. I have already Backed this...but have put it back on my shelf again. Gladly
Suzannah Burke.

Match Day, neat concept...I love the font, sounds like a stupid compliment, but I've seen some crazy fonts on this site, helps keep the reader engaged. nice work.

Some well defined, engrossing characters here. I love the whole premise and what I've read so far. You've clearly got a good ear for dialogue and the whole thing is very well written. Backed.

Cheers Paul! I'll check yours out.

Some well defined, engrossing characters here. I love the whole premise and what I've read so far. You've clearly got a good ear for dialogue and the whole thing is very well written. Backed.

Match Day:

Darren, this has lots of potential and with a bit of an edit it will be an even better read. Interesting look at the characters' life on the day of the game.

I won’t go over some of the suggestions a few others have already made but about the only things that didn’t work for me was the text type, and so easily fixed if you want to. The other thing I wasn’t keen on was the frequent use of fuck and maybe it’s just me but the more I see it used, especially like, nine or so times in the first paragraph, the less impact it has. But this, of course, is the character’s nature, and I used to swear a lot myself at that age, well, at a younger age, and now I’m just an old fuddy-duddy. ;)

Other than that, an enjoyable read, and it’s on my shelf for a spin. :o)

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Liked the pitch and the premise for the story, with three different characters and lives in parallel and converging. I'm not generally into stories where characters swear for a pastime but I accept that this is needed and realistic for Leigh and his cronies. Leigh is a particularly good character as it's good to be able to read from the viewpoint of an assumed - but misunderstood - macho-man/thug, who has doubts and fears. I do think Leigh would come over even more strongly if the chp (2) was pruned just a little - to up the pace and reduce some of the repetition of views on drinks etc.; also, upping the pace here would enhance Leigh's feelings of panic and stress. The tag says 'thriller' but I'm afraid I missed that aspect of the story and so this may need flagging up earlier? (I read chps 1-5 and then dipped into several others and chp 30). Carolyn.

MATCH DAY:

Darren,

Your brilliant chapter one is a fitting opening for what is promising to be a fantastic novel that is bound to have a wide audience when it is published. And published it will be - of that I'm certain. I love the different voices, and you handle the various p.o.v.s extremely well.

And chapter two gets down to more expert characterisation - a totally different voice. There's also a perfect blend of action, dialogue and exposition in your writing, that seems to come absolutely naturally to you.

I only have one tiny suggestion to make: Could you name Cathy in the first sentence of Chapter 1, rather than in the second. This would give it a better flow and better rhythm. "Every time the red light from the digital clock blinked in the empty room Cathy saw faces. She saw . . . "

Backed with pleasure, and with my best wishes for success in publication.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Wow, thanks for the comment! Very useful. I'll check yours out. Thanks again!

MATCH DAY:

Darren,

Your brilliant chapter one is a fitting opening for what is promising to be a fantastic novel that is bound to have a wide audience when it is published. And published it will be - of that I'm certain. I love the different voices, and you handle the various p.o.v.s extremely well.

And chapter two gets down to more expert characterisation - a totally different voice. There's also a perfect blend of action, dialogue and exposition in your writing, that seems to come absolutely naturally to you.

I only have one tiny suggestion to make: Could you name Cathy in the first sentence of Chapter 1, rather than in the second. This would give it a better flow and better rhythm. "Every time the red light from the digital clock blinked in the empty room Cathy saw faces. She saw . . . "

Backed with pleasure, and with my best wishes for success in publication.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

I am coming back for more. I enjoyed the Catchy part, and Leigh got me wondering with his swaer words.
You scared me where you said having Catchy knew it was ghost when she was having some sensations on her neck. I read 4 chapters but i may still have to come back for more to be sure.

Tope Apoola
Times of the supermen

Okay and I'm off! Go get em Cathy.
I don't know shit but this second chapter has the real magnetic power. Might start here.
Of course the fuck business my turn away a few but..well...fuckem.
The windows were steamed up and the smell of farts was thick in the air, along with laughter. = makes one wonder if the windows also had a nice temporary tint.
Excellent. More farts in the third.
Now look here. I'm on four and while I find these characters very compelling and loads to enjoy about your writing I'm wondering where the hell is the thriller bits you promised me.
Oh okay...Ratboy and some pumabags at the end.
Yes, this reads like a (good) Guy Richie movie meets ...hmm, well sort of Tom Twyker.
Anyway. best of luck with this.
-=B

Backed! :)

Dina
Baby Grand

I have read the first four chapters and enjoyed this very much. The three central characters are all very compelling, and you switch in and out of their conciousnesses with ease. I also found the addtional characters you introduced in the fourth chapter rounded and interesting too.

I think you possibly begin in the wrong place: starting a book with an alarm clock is something of a cliche, and you do it twice. That said, you introduce a nice variation beginning the third chapter mid-sentence.

Best of luck.

Dear Darren Floyd,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. After a firm nod at your opening paragraph, I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by a disturbing sound of water in a seemingly dry tunnel. I believe two people are bickering over the finer parts of thieving here, but we’ll see. I appreciate the Frogger reference, as well as the phrase “her skin seemed to shrink around her” and the line about them opening and closing their mouths like fish. Sajah has a good voice. Ratboy complicates their scheme, the tension rising with their volleys of dialog. I appreciate the active verbs, such as “guitar swooned”. I liked the character depth created by Ratboy’s and Cathy’s vanished life dreams. I sympathize with her father, though bitterness hasn’t had a chance to “ooze out of my skin” just yet.

This was an intense chapter and included some great interactions between false Cathy and the false Ratboy and between her and the overly trusting and rather dense Sajah. You leave us with the hook of still not knowing if she has the correct bags.

Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling