Donovan's Prize

I've read this somewhere before. Enjoyed it then as I have reading it again. A great tale well told.

Ron S

This was really fun. I was hooked from the start and as I read, I just had to keep going. Have you had success in placing this or in finding an agent? It is really very good. That's really the best compliment I can give you. I couldn't stop reading.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Hi Alex,
I just finished reading, the whole book, yes in one sitting. It was a great romance read. And I mean yeah its good an even somewhat better than most romances OUT THERE.
As a writer, its a great piece of work, can't wait to begin your sequel.
But as a reader, I am a little uncomfortable with Taylor being so carried away physically with Jericho and William. She is after all firm and strong everywhere else. I understand she's confused but physically I expected her to be a bit more unresponsive to other men physically. The other is the transition from Jericho's death to the joyous attitude, maybe you could fill in more paragraphs about how they mourned him, nuances of his style and what he was like, other than what we've been shown. It would help make the transition smoother.
I have no place on my shelf now, but would certainly have backed it r will when there's a spot. Great job.......

Hi Alex,
I just finished reading, the whole book, yes in one sitting. It was a great romance read. And I mean yeah its good an even somewhat better than most romances OUT THERE.
As a writer, its a great piece of work, can't wait to begin your sequel.
But as a reader, I am a little uncomfortable with Taylor being so carried away physically with Jericho and William. She is after all firm and strong everywhere else. I understand she's confused but physically I expected her to be a bit more unresponsive to other men physically. The other is the transition from Jericho's death to the joyous attitude, maybe you could fill in more paragraphs about how they mourned him, nuances of his style and what he was like, other than what we've been shown. It would help make the transition smoother.
I have no place on my shelf now, but would certainly have backed it r will when there's a spot. Great job.......

Very well written and full of tension. The action carries you along and before you know it, you've read more than you intended.

I am enjoying this read. I'm plugging away and now on chapter 8. It is easy to read, taps into your senses and the characters are believable as well as entertaining. I can't wait to read more!

A salty and intriguing tale. You've captured the era quite well, and things do not bode well for the Donovan family when Harry Parks escapes. Great narrative and dialogue.

I thought retirbution would come much sooner after the escape, but instead we fast forward to 1785, five years later. I found that puzzling. Revenge doesn't usually take that long! I also fund it difficult, initially, to connect the dots between Donovan and then Clair and her abusive husband. It would be nice to know how the events relate to each other.

Still, a great yarn. Many stars!

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Hi Alexander, fine writing. your prose captures the tone and tenor of the era. great storyline as well.
on my shelf.
i could pass on only kudos, but have a VERY minor thought. pls ignore if it makes no sense.
even though your prose rings true, perhaps you could prune the odd word.
e.g.: "emerald green gaze" maybe "emerald gaze" is good enough?
very best, andy

Lots of detail in the description and strong dialogue. An edit to tidy up the odd detail (for example 'he' in the second sentence should be 'him') and this will have a lot of potential. Backed,

This is very good. loved it. Good dialogue and characterization. The only thing I would say, is too much telling and not enough showing. i have put it on my watch list.

This is a very interesting story and promises to be a winning book. Your portrayals of character and setting are admirable as is the plot. I found it easy to read and wanted eagerly to learn more of Harry, Doanvan and leyland.

Impressive indeed

best

Alexandra,
A beautiful novel..with much potential.
If you are keen to improve it ...more showing NOT telling and this is a winner.
Alison Butler

Hi Alexandra.

Structurally sound. Well edited. Great narrative. Believable dialogue. And you have characters the reader can understand and want to read about in Taylor and Bryce.

This is a very intricate piece. I don't think I could fully give it justice without reading all you have posted, but time is the reaper, so I'll have to settle for reading the first three. Very polished work that should someday do you proud.

Gerry
Dropcloth Angels

Dear Alexandra,
I love your opening poems. They are full of the romance and drama of your book. Pirates and the sea - a fun subject that should get you published quickly!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

I have to admit, I love a good romance involving a hot, sexy pirate. Why this hasn't been snatched up is beyond me, it reads like something that is already out there. I see you've been on here a long time and have probably heard it all. You're a good writer and you've crafted something adventurous and fun. Nicely done.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created most memorable main characters in Taylor and Bryce. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing makes your historical romance a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Backed Donovan's Prize. We loved your pitch! What woman wouldn’t want to read about being captured by a pirate? Backed with pleasure.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Well, pirates and whips are always loads of fun. Very nasty, these sorts. I'm spiking this one and backing it. Check mine as well, I think you'll like it for fun reasons.

This is a novel of epic proportion. If you have not started to submit to agents/publishers then I suggest you begin to do so. The beginning of the story is well written and interesting for lovers of romance. The pace is brisk and the characters meet the classic stereotypes. The only thing that may stall your success is the sheer size of the word count. Most romances are about half the size so you should look for someone in the business of representing sagas.
Wish you all the best and I will quietly read on.
Christine Elaine Black
MAXIMUS

It's refreshing to have swashbuckling and passionate clashes . A good rollicking read with high interest over the claim to treasure. This is written well
Backed
Lara
Good for Him

This is a keenly written historical romance. Robust storyline. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Cinematic descriptions. Convincing dialogue that evokes the era. Confident writing. A first rate read. Backed.

Donovan's Prize

Alexandra Holbrook

I like the sense of adventure in this (as well as your partial Caribbean setting). Agreed - the price for happiness is always high! Atmospheric with interesting insights into your characters and Taylor especially is easy to warm to. The writing seems competent to me. Best of luck with it and happy to back you.

Both of these pitches worked for me. Being Authonomy's #1 commentator and amateur pitch doctor, trust me, you have mastered this basic sales technique to grab the casual reader. That's how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

What is better than a pirate story? Almost nothing. Your pitch popped out at me because I vacationed in St. Thomas once; my wife bought a tablecloth there she uses for special occasions and calls "the St. Thomas cloth". So having part of this set in the Caribbean was appealing to me. You have a good character in Taylor; she's feisty and likable yet sympathetic because she's been so badly used. Bryce is also a good character; he has his flaws, certainly, but who can resist his swashbuckling ways? Bottom line: this is a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

It's a great story and beautifully written. You make the love scenes sensitive when they can so easily become sordid.
I am certain it will do well and look forward to seeing it in print.
I backed it.
David (Flawless Murder)

great adventure, fun to read

great adventure, fun to read

What a lovely read at the end of a long day. Feisty heroines, nasty cads, enigmatic pirate - types, what more could one wish for? Only niggle? Taylor rankled as a name because it sounds too modern to my, probably deficient, ears. Good luck with this, Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

Alexander, your prologue and first chapter read smoothly. I choose not to nitpick these two sections. Good job.

Backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Thanks for your story, Alexandra. Hope you'll read mine, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not & my unedited version, Tell Me True Love Stories of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.
Please back my TWO books.Thanks, Susie :)

The scene is set and very well. I think you must have done a lot of research on this book as it seems exceeding true to the period. I felt for Claire and the danger she was in and the bewilderment of Taylor at her first ball. An excellent Read
Backed.


Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Alexandra

Rarely do you need 'had' before an - ed verb, eg:-

the Earl of Pembroke, (had) died some two weeks before .......the Earl of Pembroke, died some two weeks before .......

a sixteen-year-old boy who (had) joined on just a few months before
he’d set foot on the ship and (had) tried to convince James
When the flogging (had )ceased, the boy
His very precocious daughter (had )managed to build a sizeable fortune for herself
The young man who (had) tried in vain to rescue the young lady

there were other 'hads' but I didn't note them all, it takes my focus from the story..

i thought 28 was average to late for a man to marry in that period ? not telling, asking?

emerald silk clung lovingly to her slender curves,....I'd delete the word 'lovingly' can fabric love..?

i thought this was brilliant...I love the twin factors of romance and historical intrigue......I found the language consistent with the period, which isn't always the case in period novels..

Shelved with pleasure

Donovan's Prize has a very good pitch that should hit your target readers head on. I wasn't sure about the poems - I'm not a fan of poetry so I just tend to gloss over them, but that's just a personal foible and I guess others will enjoy them. Your characters are strong and your scenes vivid, and I liked the style and idiom that is matched well to the period. I wasn't so sure about the contrast between the historical thriller style of the prologue and the 'bodice ripper' style of C1 - I know you are blending the two genres, but the transition seemed a little stark to me and it might pay to tone down both just a little. I also thought a writer of your talent could find better hooks than the author intrusions of 'They should have' at the end of the prologue, and 'the classic 'Little did he realise' in C2. These are nitpicks, though, and should be easily polished out if you choose. Overall this is a very enjoyable and well written novel I'll be happy to back.

Alexandra:

I love the depth you give to your characters. This is a page turning tale that is worthy of being published.

Backed with pleasure,

Candace Bowen Early (A Knight of Silence)

This reads like a Mills and Boon, which is a very difficult genre to master... I can't believe you have not had it published. Have you sent it to them?
Frank

Grammar: "This was a dark day for he and his crew"... should read "for him and his crew"

Hi Alexandra I like the way you introduce the characters Harry, Captain Donovan and then Claire. Her story gripped me the most and your writing illustrated her fear brilliantly. I was there with her as she hid from her attacker and I could almost feel her fear, very well described. I like the fact that you didn't mention his name so we do not know who she is running from. Taking her out of her normal life and shipping her to the caribbean is a nice move and I think it will be a good environment for adventure. This is on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Hi Alexandra,

It's been a while since I've seen a proper adventure on here - shelved.

The early chapters are a little disconnected from each other and I would reccommend that you bring Taylor in earlier. This was good fun and I enjoyed your writing a great deal. On a massively boring technical note, prisons were not used as punishment in 1748, merely as holding places before trial and execution or transportation. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prison

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

You have gorgeous prose. They are ribbon clad, wrapped up in chiffon and delivered with diamonds. Truly beautiful stuff. Every line exudes confidence. You have talent, for sure. This is enjoyable and entertaining. Not something I would normally read. I love the flowery narrative, which surprised me, but it is just so rich it is hard not to ignore. You start this off well. The flogging and threat of Harry's revenge. That excited me.
It moves a long well.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Hi, Alex. Not into chick-lit but you've done a heck of a good job with the writing. Very good pitch and the story sound great for the genre. Only read the prologue and one chapter (long chapter) but I get the idea and I think it deserves attention. I'll give it a boost. On my shelf and the best of luck with it.

This is huge good fun - dollops of romance seasoned with derry-do and dastardly deeds....oh still my beating heart! Watch out for stereotypes (emerald green eyes etc) and check through for punctuation and grammar - a few glitches here and there.
I would have adored this when I was younger....and still have a smile on my face at my ghastly advanced age!
Backed
Jane
WALKER

Hi Alexandra!

Okay, I love this... You plunge right into the grit with the prologue - the flogging and Harry's promise for revenge, then his escape... Captain Donovan seems well drawn, though a ruthless pirate, he's also got a heart. Nice characterization there - he's definitely got layers to his personality.

The first scene in chapter one - breaking Claire's wrist, the macho domination... Scary. Taylor's character is also very well drawn, and I love seeing how this is going to piece together. This is really some good writing here, very polished, easy to read. Just the kind of book I would pick up for enjoyment. I wish I had the physical book in my hands - reading on screen is so hard! But I see this is completely uploaded so am tempted to toggle through all 163M of this just to see how it all turns out!

Only one thing I noticed out of place from what I've read so far - in your short pitch, I don't believe "Privateer" needs a capital P, since you're not using it in a proper name. Your call on that one... Otherwise, I really love this, and see a huge potential in the female market with this. Backed with pleasure!

Kim
Invisible Justice

Hi, well I started to read the first chapter and just couldn't stop. This is just my kind of book, it immediately transports the reader to another age and another world of adventure. I will have to read on, I simply can't help myself! Good luck with it, Maggie P.

Alexandra
Quite fearful of the romance terminology (Barbara Cartland has a lot to answer to!), but this is great. It isn't gentle and whimsical but in some parts quite harsh. Well done and well written, adherring to a significant story confidently, and moving at a good pace. Backed. Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

Well, this made mighty fine reading. The genre is my favourite and I looked forward to reading it. And I wasn't disappointed.
I'm a fan of prologues so yours did no wrong. Your prose is polished and you really can tell an entertaining story. You captured my imagination with ease and I floated on the high seas for awhile!
I only comment as a reader, leave the rest to those more proficient so can I just say a great read which I'm happy to back. Margaret.

Alex,
A very well written tale. Not my type of read, but a fine story.
It may be too long for a first novel.
Good luck, will spin on my shelf for a bit,
MickR - The Nightcrawler

This is so much fun - really addictive. Great adventure! Great as you put it steaminess! Your characters are engaging and your descriptions very well done. Shelved. CW (To Save the Sun)

I don't like prologues, but i love it when u begin your story. Crsip detials and fresh descriptions. Love ur use of words! Great narrative and diaolgue.
=backed.

Sorry, I meant "you CAN do lots of character development and maturation with her." - in the last line.

I'll continue this later when I finish reading. I also like William - seems as though he will someday get what he deserves...

This was a really interesting read. I really like how you interwove the different characters together, telling their stories seperately so that later on you can connect them.

Interesting bit about Harry Parks. I like how you started this story with a hint of darkness - from the very beginning you know something will go wrong...

Captain James seems like a rather human person despite his authority - which I like.

I also really feel for Claire and I'm aching to know more about her sadistic (lover?)

Taylor's interesting too, but watch out that she doesn't become "stereotypical" - I think you do lots of character development and character maturation with her.

Keep it up!

Donovan's Prize

Hi Alexandra,

Strong swashbuckingly and swoony romance here on the High Seas. I have been enjoyed this for about an hour now, great characters, strong heroine and wonderful hero, who could fail to be intrigued by this well written and finely edited story, well done, very happy to support your book

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew
(Sanctuary;s Loos)