Book Jacket

 

rank 5470
word count 81476
date submitted 17.12.2009
date updated 14.08.2010
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy
classification: moderate
complete

Gods' Tears

Jessica L. Hutchisson

A servant to the Gods has been woken again after a few decades of slumber to protect the land and its people.

 

Shiarra Trayan had been a servant to the Gods of Bededge for nearly four centuries doing their work. After each assignment they send her on, they force her back into slumber for years at a time until she is needed again and can be trusted again. She lay there waiting for Their command.

Three hundred and ninety-one years ago, she made a deal with the Gods to save her family. Since then she has become bitter feeling that she has repaid her debt to them. Only two things keep her from breaking her oath, the memory of why she gave it and the oath itself.

And later, a man who makes her remember she's still human.


Her assignment is a type of man she's never fought before; a man who no longer believes in the Gods and has become so bitter he's lost himself. Shiarra realizes she's hurdling down the same path.

Is it possible she may become a monster like Quenore? Will she continue spiraling down that dangerous path leading to her bitterness and self-hatred? Or will she find her way again that had led to her servanthood and save all of Bededge?

 
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tags

fantasy, gods, high fantasy, romance, servants

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16 comments

 

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greeneyes1660 wrote 645 days ago

Jessica This is a unique and creative story. I love the premise as well as the MC's. Shiarra is strong yet we become emotionally connected through her inner turmoil, and the love she shares with her new boyfriend gives her a softer more human quality making her even more endearing to us.

The thought that went into this is evident, as I am on chapter 8 and find it hard to put down. Your descriptives surround us so we feel engulfed in the journey.

There are a few nit's though minor, you need to go back and read this outloud as there are many wrong words that were not caught by spellcheck because they are words just the wrong one's and there were a few in each chapter I have read thus far. My other suggestion is that in the opening it was very repetitive when you kept saying how long she has been under oath and how she felt aout it, so much so that it took away the strength of her emotion, I am sure when you read it aloud you will see my POV, still minor and has no bearing on the merit this story deserves....

I am truly enjoying it and I look foward to the rest of my read...Backed with pleasure Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

Walden Carrington wrote 646 days ago

Jessica,
Gods' Tears is a work of extraordinary imagination with an intriguing heroine. Backed with pleasure.

Giulietta Maria wrote 647 days ago

Shiarra is a strong, engaging, and sympathetic character. Instead of being an all-powerful prima donna, she reluctantly awakes for another mission, seeming very human in her "morning" stiffness. Backed.

Andrew Burans wrote 647 days ago

You have finely crafted a most compelling and interesting fantasy and your use of short paragraphs and crisp, realistic dialogue keeps the pace of your story flowing well. Your use of imagery is excellent as is your character development of Shiarra. All of this coupled with your imaginative writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

name falied moderation wrote 648 days ago

Dear Jessica
another book that is so beautiful and i did not see it the first time around. Your book cover is one that I would not pass, your short pitch gave me just enough to get me and keep me and your long pitch insisted i read your writing. you have crafted this so well, even your long pitch has a poetry for me, and shouts originality, CONGRATS
I have not read all your writing, however i will comment more later when it is right
CONGRATULATIONS on such talent and crafting
BACKED by me for sure
please take a little time to comment on my book, comments are so important ot me, and if you feel so, back it.
thank you
BEST of luck
Denise
The Letter

SusieGulick wrote 648 days ago

Dear Jessica, I love the mission of your heroine - I like the way you put me right there with her in the story to feel the way she feels - I was hoping she'd succeed. :) Great pitch & write to make my curiosity rise & keep reading. :) Your tight paragraphs & dialogue move your story quickly. :) I've backed your book :) - hope you'll to a moment to back my 2 memoir books. :) Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

Su Dan wrote 648 days ago

concept is good. writing is effective. and your start does well to get us on our way in this book...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS....

soutexmex wrote 765 days ago

Jessica. Good writing but can you put questions at the end of the pitches? This will hook the casual reader. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. SHELVED!

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Burgio wrote 766 days ago

This is an imaginative book. You have a good character in Shiarra. She’s likable and certainly sympathetic because she’s a kind of slave to the Gods. It has a Green mythology tone to it that I liked a lot (a small thing but because there are many Gods here, should the title be Gods’ Tears, rather than God’s Tears?) Either way, this is a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

A. L. Reynolds wrote 774 days ago

Smooth, detailed and well-written. You build a well crafted story with an intriguing storyline. I'd like to curl up and read a paper version. Well worth backing :-)

A. L. Reynolds wrote 774 days ago

Smooth, detailed and well-written. You build a well crafted story with an intriguing storyline. Well worth backing :-)

Bob Steele wrote 867 days ago

God's Tears has an original and interesting storyline that should appeal to the target audience. You write with strong imagination and attention to detail, and I'm happy to back this.
It will IMHO be even better with some careful editorial polishing - I'd suggest for a start rooting out all the unnecessary duplications of show and tell; just in the opening paras for example she stretches inflexible muscles, is feeling rigid and has stiff legs; the light hurts her eyes, her eyes are sensitive, and her vision is blurred. Good luck.

Emoo wrote 872 days ago

Jessica,

The concept that we can bargain with God is one that is as old as time itself. Yet you have managed to introduce the idea of exchanging a total of one's loved ones lifespan(s) for the bonded servitude of another for the same duration into the equation; which is to me the most interesting part of the premise. That God(s) can do maths !

Will happily shelve !

Hsiau Hsia Moo

(The Monarch Butterfly)


Francis Albert McGrath wrote 876 days ago

Jessica
I read a few chapters. I think it's slightly overwritten and needs tightening "groaned groggily" can be simplified to "groaned:... that type of thing). Having said that, I think your premise (the notion of slavery it embodies) has great potential and is an allegory for the modern world ("corporate slaves" is the name of a great book I read on this topic). Shelved
Frank

Jessica Hutchisson wrote 886 days ago

I woudl be grateful for any suggestions. My family who does most of my editing other than me seem to be too afraid to touch my writing. I went back and fixed the typo though I have not uploaded it to the sight. I figured I could wait to see what your suggestions were. :)

LittleDevil wrote 886 days ago

Hi Jessica, your writing is a credit to you. I could see everything quite clearly as I read the first chapter. I do have a couple of suggestions, but I don't want to bombard you with these straight away. Mostly to do with redundant words and tightening up. You do have a typo No snowstorm will NOT stop me.
I'm feeling quite jealous of you young writers, this is the third story I've read tonight from a very talented young lady/man.
Please let me know if you are interested in a few suggestions that I think will tighten things up. Have no worries though, your writing is excellent.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George

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