Secret Cages

I love the way this is written! It's poetic and very different from anything else on this site. This just captured my attention from the very beginning. I wouldn't even know where to begin writing something like this and you've got a beautiful narrative style.

Missy

Damn, you can write. I mean I'm literally jealous of the ease by which you seem to flow words together into a beautiful symphony of great storytelling. I'm not being disingenuous either, I really mean it. This is solid, well crated writing that almost sings off the page. I can weave a good tale, but I haven't managed the singing yet (LOL).

Backed a few days ago, sorry for the late comment.

Good Luck
Natalie

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

I am backing this book on the strength of the read which I found impressive enough to back. The problem is that while my Talent spotter ranking sank below one hundred I have been inundated with requests to read. If you require detailed comments please message me otherwise I was proud to back you and will watch with interest. Cheers for now. BACKED.

Dear BArry
this book i starting reading a while ago and have done it now. I have already commented and backed it but I cannot find the backing. I fell this book is worth taking the time to back again so here goes.
BACKED FOR SURE BY ME
Denise
The Letter

Dear Barry, I love how you put me right there in the story to feel what they feel is going on. :) War-torn - glad I've never experience any of that in California. :) Great write. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

thanks alva,

I enjoyed writing it and intended to send myself dizzy with it. Don't think I want to rewrite this particular novel, but am taking the lessons I learned from it and applying those to the new one - aiming to make that much more accessible and possibly even commercial!

B

Barry, beautifully written, and, as an artist and poet, I can read and stay with your many changes and images and details and inner thoughts and film like verbal motion. CAN you offer the reader a solid platform, like a basso continuum in music, from which to enjoy this read? You many not want the "simple" reader to be trying this piece out, anyway. But I do think that, if you could, you'd have a fascinating tapestry of writing.

That platform needs to be offered immediately. Don't know what it should actually be, because needs to be in your style, but consider, for instance, how IMMEDIATELY we know a film's a Hitchcock. Or a Merchant Ivory. That context, even if we've never known it before, offers us stability, be it one of fear (Hitchcock) or one of promised pleasure (Merch iv), emotions we recognize, from which to believe whatever else the author throws our way.

The platform may be as simple as subtraction? Try removal of some of the beautiful description in each pp, (considering it scene notes unspoken on film) which would leave the reader something to imagine and thus become engaged upon. if you give them too much, they prepare themselves for more and more and become confused, I suspect. Like a reader made to read the notes in a script as well as the dialogue. Readers are too lazy.

You may need to discount all of this, though. I don't know your genre well. Hey, but I do buy books.

Barry, beautifully written, and, as an artist and poet, I can read and stay with your many changes and images and details and inner thoughts and film like verbal motion. CAN you offer the reader a solid platform, like a basso continuum in music, from which to enjoy this read? You many not want the "simple" reader to be trying this piece out, anyway. But I do think that, if you could, you'd have a fascinating tapestry of writing.

That platform needs to be offered immediately. Don't know what it should actually be, because needs to be in your style, but consider, for instance, how IMMEDIATELY we know a film's a Hitchcock. Or a Merchant Ivory. That context, even if we've never known it before, offers us stability, be it one of fear (Hitchcock) or one of promised pleasure (Merch iv), emotions we recognize, from which to believe whatever else the author throws our way.

The platform may be as simple as subtraction? Try removal of some of the beautiful description in each pp, (considering it scene notes unspoken on film) which would leave the reader something to imagine and thus become engaged upon. if you give them too much, they prepare themselves for more and more and become confused, I suspect. Like a reader made to read the notes in a script as well as the dialogue. Readers are too lazy.

You may need to discount all of this, though. I don't know your genre well. Hey, but I do buy books.

Beautifully written, brave and captivating. Ticks all the right boxes for me. Backed with pleasure.
xx

wow thanks for that nick - yes, although there are narratives and implications galore in their I too wanted to drown as I wrote it - drown in images, conflicting interpretations of events, words themselves. How much of our dreams shape who we are, our attitudes to life - how much of our lives should be lived as in a dream? The surrealists had it right! Love is illogical, strange, a collision of delusions, just like dreams - it seemed appropriate to create a landscape that changed with ones mood, ones confusions and moments of clarity, and each new revelation makes us check through our history for confirmation, sense, progression, even if all this too is self delusion......

Okay. Immediately I know this is writer who loves words, wants to use them and play with them. But can he involve me in a story?

Let's see.

He's drowning? We go into flashback. A prologue within a prologue? Bold.

Philomene the long caged panther. She's an elemental force. A storm waiting to happen, then unleashed.

But then we flashback further. Bastille Day. We have prophecy? An egg, swallowed. He is the egg, he has been swallowed.

But now we are elsewhere and this has the nature of dream...the very fabric of story. the essence of story, the images, the building blocks.

But is it story? Yet? Go on...

A glimpse of Snow Girl fascinates me.

Paris riots. We get it via TV. I am reminded of our riots back in the eighties. The surreal nature of flames dancing orange on brick as cars burn as shadowy figures dance like primeval warriors with spears.

It is the nature of dream. The subconscious replaying with logical shape.

He flees the CRS officer with Snow Girl.

Now we have Philomene and the Snow Girl. Twelve thousand years alone with her dreams. Driven mad by them? Or possessor of knowledge we cannot have?

And we end with a Tarot tower, or maybe Childe Roland's tower.

This is brilliant in the way T.S. Eliot is brilliant or maybe as Dada mentioned in the text. Mervyn Peake on some heavy crack. I am not sure what is going on but I am on one amazing trip.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

Okay. Immediately I know this is writer who loves words, wants to use them and play with them. But can he involve me in a story?

Let's see.

He's drowning? We go into flashback. A prologue within a prologue? Bold.

Philomene the long caged panther. She's an elemental force. A storm waiting to happen, then unleashed.

But then we flashback further. Bastille Day. We have prophecy? An egg, swallowed. He is the egg, he has been swallowed.

But now we are elsewhere and this has the nature of dream...the very fabric of story. the essence of story, the images, the building blocks.

But is it story? Yet? Go on...

A glimpse of Snow Girl fascinates me.

Paris riots. We get it via TV. I am reminded of our riots back in the eighties. The surreal nature of flames dancing orange on brick as cars burn as shadowy figures dance like primeval warriors with spears.

It is the nature of dream. The subconscious replaying with logical shape.

He flees the CRS officer with Snow Girl.

Now we have Philomene and the Snow Girl. Twelve thousand years alone with her dreams. Driven mad by them? Or possessor of knowledge we cannot have?

And we end with a Tarot tower, or maybe Childe Roland's tower.

This is brilliant in the way T.S. Eliot is brilliant or maybe as Dada mentioned in the text. Mervyn Peake on some heavy crack. I am not sure what is going on but I am on one amazing trip.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

Barry, I've read five chapters with great pleasure and admiration for your ability as a writer. Your bio page and pitches had prepared me for a work of some quality, but I was entranced by some of your prose. Incidentally, just my opinion, I'd admired the line in your short pitch referring to, 'Paris. Spiritual home of Lovers, Surrealists, Revolutionaries...' It's a good line, but the effect is diminished by its repetition at the start of the long pitch. Does the short pitch need it?
This is a distinctly unconventional novel, straying towards self-indulgence at times - for what else is all writing but self-indulgence of some degree? The words tumble in free-fall, often being an out of body reflection of random thoughts in dreams. Obviously, there's a structure here, a very thoughtful structure, and the words are far from random, but after five chapters I'm just about coming to terms with the book. The writing is enviably smooth and accomplished - 'her face tied with midnight' is an image right at the start that stayed with me. Incidentally, in chapter five, the citizens rage is described including 'some threw China.' Impressive but unlikely. You've used the word again later, this time as 'china' - just a typo.
As a novel to while away a long journey, this is ideal. It requires concentration and ideally ample time for contemplation too. Backed for exceptional writing.
Jared
Mummy's Boy.

thanks peter for the encouraging word - yes you have me square within your sights - I read a lot of surrealist literature about the time I was embarking on this novel and loved the work of breton, leiris, aragon, octave mirbeau et al. Creation would be a wonderful home - they're on my list....

-

Barry, this is a really-well written book. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I’m not sure it belongs here though – it should have been issued by some clandestine press in Paris at around the time of Louis Aragon and Apollinaire. Even the prose style and subject matter is deeply reminiscent of that period. I’ve no useful criticisms, but I’d try this one out with Creation Books or Savoy or a similar company who are probably more receptive to your writing than the sort of stuff they’re probably looking for here. Good luck with this one

(P.S. I’m really jealous of your CV)

Peter

thanks alan for the encouraging word - yes you have me square within your sights - I read a lot of surrealist literature about the time I was embarking on this novel and loved the work of breton, leiris, aragon, octave mirbeau et al. Creation would be a wonderful home - they're on my list....

-

Barry, this is a really-well written book. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I’m not sure it belongs here though – it should have been issued by some clandestine press in Paris at around the time of Louis Aragon and Apollinaire. Even the prose style and subject matter is deeply reminiscent of that period. I’ve no useful criticisms, but I’d try this one out with Creation Books or Savoy or a similar company who are probably more receptive to your writing than the sort of stuff they’re probably looking for here. Good luck with this one

(P.S. I’m really jealous of your CV)

Peter

thanks alan for the encouraging word - yes you have me square within your sights - I read a lot of surrealist literature about the time I was embarking on this novel and loved the work of breton, leiris, aragon, octave mirbeau et al. Creation would be a wonderful home - they're on my list....

-

Barry, this is a really-well written book. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that. I’m not sure it belongs here though – it should have been issued by some clandestine press in Paris at around the time of Louis Aragon and Apollinaire. Even the prose style and subject matter is deeply reminiscent of that period. I’ve no useful criticisms, but I’d try this one out with Creation Books or Savoy or a similar company who are probably more receptive to your writing than the sort of stuff they’re probably looking for here. Good luck with this one

(P.S. I’m really jealous of your CV)

Peter

your biog, then pitch then chapter 1, 2, 3 drew me further and further. backed

You have a great voice. Sad, wistful and hypnotic. Backed with pleasure. Sana

Dear Barry Hale,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I appreciate your poetry in prose, with the lush visuals of “In the cracks in the sky I could see the faces of the long dead” and “face tied in midnight”. Philomene really seems to enjoy a good rant, the force of her words aided by your stormy metaphors. Her fungal burst is an equally spectacular representation of the passion of the argument. I found this line haunting, “Only the dead can dance without moving”. Your writing reminds me of one long, fantastic dream. Among many, these phrases stood out, “An old stone mountain of a house” and “games, with chalk and sticks and centipedes” and “Panic gripped me like a jilted lover. Oh, an extra period snuck in after “ludicrous provocations..”

I enjoyed your poetry. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

I'm very flattered bob. thanks for your kind comments. Is there a plot in secret cages? Yes, kind of, and there are at least three narrative threads, but the best way to think of it is as a series of reflections in a hall of mirrors distorting the central character's image of himself. We all self-mythologise our histories, in this book all those fragile constructions are being undermined for him to leave..... who? Its all told from the perspective of a drowning man, his life flashing before his eyes, with dreams and memories in constant collision....

The pitch for Secret Cages left me wondering what I was in for - it seemed to suggest Fantasy, but your genre says Literary Fiction, and I didn't get a sense of who the characters are and where they are going on their journey. Then I started reading and realised that none of this was relevant - this is a tour-de-force of the imagination that left me with two overriding feelings; one that you use words with great skill, and two that I would need to find a lot of time to sit down and get to grips with what you have written. On the first count I'll back you. On the second count, watch this space...

thanks for the comments - I agree, not exactly poolside reading but at least if your unwanted air companion asks what you are reading you can absolutely freak them out by describing the plot! Probably won't get another peep out of them for the rest of the flight.

Barry

Your way too clever for me.....this is like an embroidery of words, does that make sense? .....You have an almost 'musical' writing voice.......But I couldn't read this on holiday by the pool, because I'd only need two cocktails and I'd totally lose the plot, and have to keep going back to the beginning....

I'd need to sit next to some boring eejit on a 12 hour flight, so not tempted by interruption , and get stuck right in.....

So backed of course, with pleasure, a little bit of jealousy and good wishes for 2010......

many thanks for your support - I made the opening chapters deliberately intense - it gets easier later on...

Dear Barry, we read as far as chapter four. We are not sure what to say.

How about- "A magnificent piece of literature, spell-binding, enthralling.

We didn't dare search for errors.

Backing it,

Eleanor and Sharkey.

many thanks for your kind words. yes certainly I was hoping to evoke the sense of a dizzying confusing dream. I felt the story should reflect what its like to fall in and out of love, full of self-delusion, full of dizzying emotions that spin us free from the regular turning of our lives and throw us out into the fearful unknown. I allowed myself a lot of indulgences on this one - maybe the next will be a little more reader-friendly.

Hi Barry, when I read this I got the sense I was in a dream. Your writing and language is well beyond my own and I envy the ease at which you construct your prose. In the first chapter your arrator fights with Philomena over the lack of caring from the art world when such devastation was taking place around them (at least thats what I took from it) art is mentioned quiet a lot and this might sound strange but I imagined this as a bit of a mad canvas as I read. Full of blacks and blood reds especially when Philomena lost her temper and boy did she loss it! What I read felt surreal and maybe that is where you are going with this. I really admire your style and this is on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Hi Barry, when I read this I got the sense I was in a dream. Your writing and language is well beyond my own and I envy the ease at which you construct your prose. In the first chapter your arrator fights with Philomena over the lack of caring from the art world when such devastation was taking place around them (at least thats what I took from it) art is mentioned quiet a lot and this might sound strange but I imagined this as a bit of a mad canvas as I read. Full of blacks and blood reds especially when Philomena lost her temper and boy did she loss it! What I read felt surreal and maybe that is where you are going with this. I really admire your style and this is on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Dear Barry, we read as far as chapter four. We are not sure what to say.

How about- "A magnificent piece of literature, spell-binding, enthralling.

We didn't dare search for errors.

Backing it,

Eleanor and Sharkey.

Barry

Your way too clever for me.....this is like an embroidery of words, does that make sense? .....You have an almost 'musical' writing voice.......But I couldn't read this on holiday by the pool, because I'd only need two cocktails and I'd totally lose the plot, and have to keep going back to the beginning....

I'd need to sit next to some boring eejit on a 12 hour flight, so not tempted by interruption , and get stuck right in.....

So backed of course, with pleasure, a little bit of jealousy and good wishes for 2010......

The pitch for Secret Cages left me wondering what I was in for - it seemed to suggest Fantasy, but your genre says Literary Fiction, and I didn't get a sense of who the characters are and where they are going on their journey. Then I started reading and realised that none of this was relevant - this is a tour-de-force of the imagination that left me with two overriding feelings; one that you use words with great skill, and two that I would need to find a lot of time to sit down and get to grips with what you have written. On the first count I'll back you. On the second count, watch this space...

many thanks for the kind comments - glad you enjoyed it.

Very dark, yet simultaneously colourful. A fantastical prose style that carries itself along at a dancing pace. I'm a lover of French fiction and I very much like your Paris setting. Brilliant. Shelved.

Very dark, yet simultaneously colourful. A fantastical prose style that carries itself along at a dancing pace. I'm a lover of French fiction and I very much like your Paris setting. Brilliant. Shelved.

many thanks for the review - took a few chances with it, tried to disturb myself in places... staying true to that freudian dream landscape we encounter when we sleep....

Hi Barry. This is a thoughtful and vividly written piece. The descriptive prose is both haunting and evocative. You obviously have a love of language and it is on full display here. A dark, strange and often disturbing story, told with great craftsmanship. Shelved. All the best, Michael

Let me start by saying you are an outstandingly good writer. This site is not the place for you. Your book is, as you rightly say, Literary Fiction. There are people out there who would publish you. It's sadly true that Harper Collins probably won't. What a crazy world, okay?
You write, as so many have told you, in a fantastically beautiful style. So make sure there are no word processing errors - e.g. where you've changed something, and left in an extra or wrong word. For example, 'the slippery plank my grandfather had lay there...' I'm guessing a change from 'the slippery plank that lay there,' and you thought you'd put, 'the slippery plank my grandfather had laid there.' The inclusion of the grandfather is, obviously, good.
Your opening, where your protagonist shouts at Philomeme, 'Art has no humanity,' is great, leading on as it does to the later scene where he is photographing the victims of who knows what, and the disabled policeman (a great character) shouts in turn, 'Just wait till I get down from here...' as he 'photographed their agonies.'
The contrast between Snow Queen and Philomeme is another great addition to the book. The love of the protagonist for Philomeme is beautifully realised as he says, 'I would see someone who resembled Philomeme and become agitated.' It is this type of understanding of normal emotions that brings your characters to life. This is a great book, which should be out there for everyone to read. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

A beautiful opening to this piece. It's almost part poetry part prose. I am loving reading this and have put it on my watch list.

I have to say, there is nothing but humanity in art....that's what it reflects. There is no humanity in science, but that's a different story.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thank you.

Tim H
Hellbound

Through the three chapters I read I vocally cursed about twenty times. When I started to read I got the distinct impression this is too smart for me. And as I read on I started to develope a envious green glow to me.
Who the hell told you to write so well? You have more talent than a number of writers on this site combined.
You strung sentences together with ease, allowing imagery to dance across them and poetic splashes to well up within them.
Not something I would normally read, but I am hugely jealous of the talent you have. some of the lines were so perfect that I growled my approval while scolding my own writing capabilities.
This is truly beautiful work. Graceful, sleek and engaging.
Where ever this book meanders I will surely follow.
let me know when it is published.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Hi Barry,
I must say that this is very different

I've decided to back this for its imagery. - Shelved

I think this story needs a bit my structure and discipline, but that's your choice

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

What a great opening

Once I started reading, I could not put it down

You have a vivid imagination and a unique writing style

Loved it!

Best wishes

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Barry, this was beautiful; too clever for me but what an experience.
Backed.

many thanks for the kind comments - it seems one works in a vacuum for so long, watching the work evolve, seeing correlations and expanding upon them - then you have to let it out into the world and the ravening wolves that might await it - I knew this wouldn't be to everyones taste and if it ever got close to publication I knew there's be much rewriting to do but its been heartening to receive so much support from fellow writers here at authonomy.

Dear Barry,
Your work is elegant. I admire your talent - this is art of high calibre. You capture your readers in those underwater weeds at the beginning and the text was so beautiful I wanted to stay there. You topped your own opening in the narrative of the feathers - the visuals there are surreal. Bravo - I expect you'll be snatched up for publication soon and I would love to own a copy.
Backed,
Lizzi
(Central Park Sentinel)

thanks for the support - apologies it took a while to answer, I hadn't spotted it in all the christmas fuss - I've just sent this book out to agents to see where it may lead. Fingers crossed.

Barry-- Ethereal, poetic, abstract... there's a lot of density here, and you've taken a great deal of obvious delight in manipulating words and the creation of haunting imagery. Very thoughtful work and I am finding myself lacking in intelligent comment (I blame the eating of too much turkey!) Shelved.

~Ruth/Base Spirits

Barry
Was drawn to your book by the beautiful image on your cover and the good words I read when I then investigated further. This book has everything. The title, the cover, the energy and the passion in which you choose your words, the richness of colour and the haunting floating feeling it conjures. Absolutely brilliant, and you don't need me to tell you this is going to go a long way. All the best. Backed
Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

I read only chapter 1. I cannot claim to understand it. BUT what brilliant fantastic imagery, faultlessly written. Backed with pleasure.
BADD

many thanks for the kind comments - for me this represents an apprenticeship piece - I'd imagine some things will be dropped and much will be redone before it hits the stores but I thought I'd post it here, warts and all, and get some feedback from other writers as to how its shaping up - I wanted to write something that reminded me of the cinema that inspired me, the books that captured my imagination, that valued our dreamstate experience as much as the verite of waking life. I hope to extend this approach into further future work. Thanks again, your response validates for me the value of authonomy as a writer's tool.

Hi, Barry. I liked your pitch. Just had to read some of this. This is just a really good, very unique story. The beginning is very well done and draws the reader as the story progresses. I read the first 2 chapters, skipped ahead and did some skimming. Yep, it stays strong. This is really a wonderful piece of work, Barry. I think this one will do well here, and hopefully in the marketplace. I just gotta shelve it. Wish you the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Hi, Barry. I liked your pitch. Just had to read some of this. This is just a really good, very unique story. The beginning is very well done and draws the reader as the story progresses. I read the first 2 chapters, skipped ahead and did some skimming. Yep, it stays strong. This is really a wonderful piece of work, Barry. I think this one will do well here, and hopefully in the marketplace. I just gotta shelve it. Wish you the best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

thought I'd just try it out and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.....

Mr. Hale,

I'm speechless. Beautifully done. A very professional piece of work. But then it seems you are one. So what are you doing on Authonomy?

TSC
Chili con Carnality

many thanks for your comments - very much an apprenticeship piece for me but I hope that the next one will continue in that same vein of surreal dream like love story.

Dear Barry,

Exquisite and entrancing. Secret Cages reads like a dream, a magical, surreal love story - on my shelf to read in full over the next few days.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Barry-- Ethereal, poetic, abstract... there's a lot of density here, and you've taken a great deal of obvious delight in manipulating words and the creation of haunting imagery. Very thoughtful work and I am finding myself lacking in intelligent comment (I blame the eating of too much turkey!) Shelved.

~Ruth/Base Spirits

Hi David, thanks for the comments - yes I kind'v guessed my work wasn't going to float everyone's boat but then it would be a pretty bland world if we all had the same taste. Thanks for backing me even tho' it isn't up your street - I've only been on this site a few days so I haven't entirely worked out what it means to be backed but I thank you just the same. Yes, scary pic, but I'm a pussy cat once I'm fed! Barry

I'm touched by your comments - quite a heart stopping moment to get my first response from fellow writers - I'm glad I took the step of trying out Authonomy. Looks like a great community and a fantastic way to get peer critiques. Still trawling through the site to make my first reading list to see what everyone else is up to...

Secret Cages

Hi Barry

Every now and then one comes across something quite wonderful on this site, something so beautifully written that it is difficult to work out why it isn’t published yet. I love your writing, even though I have no idea what the hell is going on from your pitch (you’ll need to sort that out). Poetry disguised as prose, there is intelligence here, nuance, sensitivity and extreme cleverness. If you put a gun to my head and said, Right then, what was your absolute favourite line I would be hard pushed, but if you did put that gun to my head I would have to say this one:

Morning dawned on a dome formed by my hands.

Simple, clever, makes us go – eh? Beautiful stuff.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

fantastic to get such a great response so quickly - other than my girlfriend no one else has read this yet - let's see where it goes......

Poetry in motion, Barry. No vulgar familiarity, but rather an air of transcendence. Lovely art work too. The high literary style may limit your market but hey, the advertising machine would doubtless help circumvent that.

many thanks for your kind comments - this is a new venture for me - I like what authonomy represents - still learning how it works.

Mr. Hale,

I'm speechless. Beautifully done. A very professional piece of work. But then it seems you are one. So what are you doing on Authonomy?

TSC
Chili con Carnality

Secret Cages

Hi Barry

Every now and then one comes across something quite wonderful on this site, something so beautifully written that it is difficult to work out why it isn’t published yet. I love your writing, even though I have no idea what the hell is going on from your pitch (you’ll need to sort that out). Poetry disguised as prose, there is intelligence here, nuance, sensitivity and extreme cleverness. If you put a gun to my head and said, Right then, what was your absolute favourite line I would be hard pushed, but if you did put that gun to my head I would have to say this one:

Morning dawned on a dome formed by my hands.

Simple, clever, makes us go – eh? Beautiful stuff.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)