The Cigar Maker

I like the concept. I spent some time in Ybor city and can relate. I'll try to get some time to read and comment but I like the frame. Good luck.

I like the concept. I spent some time in Ybor city and can relate. I'll try to get some time to read and comment but I like the frame. Good luck.

The Cigar Maker is a fascinating subject for a novel. I liked your masterful descriptions of the locations, and your convincing portrayal of the past in style and idiom speaks of thorough research. Accurate or not, I found it convincing as a framework for a most enjoyable story. Your characters are strong and the narrative flow is good - I really can't find any suggestions for improvement and I'll back this to be a success.

This is an interesting and exciting story, as outlined in your pitch; and you tell the story well, beginning with Salvator's journey to Ybor City and the cockfight, then jumping back to explain and to show how he came there, and to show us his family background. The story of his childhood and his parents' murder is gripping, and his friendship with Juan Carlos is attractive, moving, interesting. Your style is good, moving your story on quickly, but at a pace which gives us time to get to know Salvator and to understand his situation. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hey Mark...and all this time I imagined that cigars were rolled on the thighs of young virgins. I suppose every fantasy comes to an end but here you have painted in enough detail to leave us begging for more. Bravo to Salvador and to Olympia and may they fare well in Ybor. RT

A fascinating setting and set in an era and time that I know little about. Still with my ignorance of this time I found myself easily slipping into your capable writing.
It is clear you know your stuff. There is a wealth of information in this and I cannot imagine the amount of research you executed in order to write this.
The beauty of this read is that the descriptions are so vivid that I coudl feel the surroundings. You have a talent for painting a colorful picture. I coudl feel the heat and the sweat. You do a fab job of writing the characters as well.
You are a born storyteller and your voice is hard to ignore. I wish you luck with this. Is truly a fantastic read.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

What a highly charged and atmospheric story this is ! Absolutely original and the author knows his subject inside out. Very eloquent writing - once again I am stunned by the high standard of authonomy contributors, when is the publishing industry going to return to it's purpose and start putting out good books?

Vivid, visceral writing that shows you have done a tremendous amount of research into Ybor City and Havana of the late 19th century, and into the lives and struggles of Cuban refugees of the era.
Your descriptions of Ybor City – I could smell curing tobacco leaves and sweat. The details of the cockfight were well done, too; I especially liked Salvador’s reaction when Picchu looked at him.
A nit: You mention “two angry gamecocks who chopped and clawed each other to death.” My understanding is only one bird dies in a cockfight; otherwise, nobody wins their bets. Maybe you could offer a little more detail about this preliminary bout, perhaps not as much as Picchu’s fight but something to give us a little more flavor – and perhaps Salvador’s reaction to the carnage?
Also, how old is Josefina? We learn that Javier is 16, Lazaro is 14 and EJ is 8. Just wondering.
This is solid storytelling. I was mesmerized. I hope it goes far and is one day published. Thank you for the opportunity!

Evocative writing. Maybe the way you use dialogue, description and tempo of prose...
great stuff.

BACKED

Check out Dream Diamond when you can... if you can't just back it.

Awesome! Thanks for the comments gang - very encouraging!

I'll make sure I let you know when it's officially released (mid-summer 2010)

Have read the first chapter and say this:
Backed.
A wonderful opening and then we are transported into another world and another culture. Marvelous.
My only suggestion is that it should be shortened.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Long, but good, tense in spots, interesting. Keep writing. backed.

The Cigar Maker--

This is a great start to a historical novel. It reminds me a bit of some of John Jakes' writing. You brought the age and location to life, which I feel is one of the most important things a writer needs to do in a historical. Nice work.

Backing

The Cigar Maker

Hi Mark

This is great, you plunge us straight into this fascinating and interesting period with a powerful description, showing immediately many aspects of our main character’s personality. This is adroitly delivered, character, story, setting, each paragraph carefully constructed to move all of these things along. This is a really interesting period and I think you may have spotted a gap in the market in terms of historical fiction, I can’t think of a novel which also uses this backdrop.

A colourful, exotic and ambitious novel that had me fully engaged in all that I read. Wow, how much do you pack into that first chapter? Answer: A helluvalot!

Best wishes and good luck
BACKED
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

Great first line. Great pitch too. Enjoying the writing, leave those more experienced to nitpick.

Welcome to Authonomy, enjoy the ride.

Melxx
Impeding Justice.