CHOSEN

CHOSEN
L. Roger Lindell

Such an intelligent, thought-provoking piece and very believable. Read from today's perspective, it is an eye-opener and a source of anger really to see how women were perceived in those days - "They all left, each wondering what this woman would say to them. Few of them expected much from her. A morning's conversation with but slight information to add to their knowledge, assuredly no more. She was a woman, and certainly uneducated." I am glad times have changed! I found this well written and enlightening and I am sure much intensive research would have gone into it. The quality of your plot, the substance, the themes, the language itself employed in telling this story are all masterful. I wish you well with it and was happy to place it on my bookshelf.

Dear Roger, I love historical fiction & Christian. :) Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading & reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Please take a moment to back my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

I love your description, your research was exhaustive. Just a small nit that stopped my thoughts to ask a question in the middle of reading the text. When Justinian and Simon reached the Tavern, you described a window that was "smoky with soot and ash, but let some light in". Could you possibly have left that period just for a moment and have mistakenly placed a "glass" window into that scenario? That particular period dialogue also, when one references it, seems to come off stilted and takes a great deal of effort to relax it by going over and over it. Anyway, it was and is a read and I liked it a great deal. Best wishes for its future. You have been backed already.

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

Very interesting and very informative. It was a very nice Easter read. Best wishes.

It is apparent after reading the first three chapters that you have invested much time and passion into the rendering of this story - well crafted and intelligent prose! I will come back for more - my mother is a devout Catholic and I have copied the firsdt three chapters for her to see what she thinks - I believe she will want more! BACKED with pleasure!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Interesting.

You write in a straghtforward matter-of-fact style, but manage to make clear exactly what is going on. The opening scene is compelling but the conversations about Jesus seem a trifle unrealistic.

It's an interesting time in history though and the Jesus story is virtually inexhaustable as a story source. I expect you will get lots of readers for this. Best of luck with it.

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Chosen is a thoughtful and well written story that is written in a style and idiom that fits the period. The characters and their environment come to life vividly through your words, and the narrative flows smoothly, tempered by crisp and natural dialogue that adds pace. This already has the feel of a well polished work, so I have nothing to add except my backing. Well done.

Loved the premise. Well written and continuously interesting.
Backed.

L., your style is descriptive and energetic but the short sentences are a bonus. Thanks to writers like Dan Browne, this is a very popular subject at the moment, appealing to a variety of people, not all of them learned, to be blunt. Though your book seems meticulously researched and shows great story-telling powers, it's 'accessible', which can only be in its favour where publishers are concerned.Very good luck with it. Shelved. Lynn

Lynn, Thank you for your kind words. They are most welcome. Many of the comments I have received were little more than thinly disguised pleadings for reciprocal backings. It is refreshing to receive a true and constructive comment. Currently I am contemplating the introduction of more characters; specifically the High Priest and several other Temple Priests. Perhaps I'll also introduce the Roman Procurator. My story's time period just follows St. Stephen's stoning and is also the time of James' beheading. i could introduce a bit of suspense and mystery with these characters. Hopefully the narrative would be more 'readable' yet still retain the focus on Mary. I'd appreciate your thoughts. Oh, yes I'll read at least a portion of your book. L. Roger

L., your style is descriptive and energetic but the short sentences are a bonus. Thanks to writers like Dan Browne, this is a very popular subject at the moment, appealing to a variety of people, not all of them learned, to be blunt. Though your book seems meticulously researched and shows great story-telling powers, it's 'accessible', which can only be in its favour where publishers are concerned.Very good luck with it. Shelved. Lynn

hi
i think this shows great promise. there are a few typos and things that willbe ironed out in the edits but they didnt detract from my enjoyment of a refreshingly different book. shelved

Judith (Peaceweaver) (The Forest Dwellers)

A very ambitious challenge executed with great aplomb and vitality. Wonderful opening in which with great subtlety you show the quickness of men to assert their power and dominance - their godlessness, one might say. Often it’s the detail a writer chooses to focus on that determines the level of both attention and attraction with which we respond to a book. The detail in your writing is superb. This is intelligent, thought provoking and deeply felt writing.

Hi L. Roger, I liked the details in the setting here and how the six men gathered to plan their visit to Mary. It’s curious that their two names were similar to the disciples – Simon and Matthias. Mary’s account of her life drew my attention and again, the details telling how she lived.
Sometimes the dialogue seemed too much in a narrator’s style and not from the personality.
The construct here seems realistic and parallels that of the wise men at Jesus’ birth. It’s an intriguing investigation – Shelved – Katherine

This an interesting story and well researched. For me, as a fan of historical fiction, your style felt a little to formal, as if I was reading a report rather than a novel. I would guess that mainstream publishing houses would want to see it 'spiced up' somewhat. I guess it depends what and who your target audience is.

Good luck and a happy 2010.
Linton

A well written book on an important subject. Your idea, of coming from Mary's point of view, is excellent, and what Mary has to say about the so often prevalent view about women, how at first the church was eager to hear what she had to say, but later began to feel that a woman could have nothing of importance to bring them, is so, unfortunately, likely. You write well, and the group of people you bring together in your first chapter is a very appropriate one, each with their own view and their own beliefs. A book well worth reading. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I can see this doing well in Christian bookshops. It is vastly superior to "the Left Behind" and similar novels, and is very readable. I found the dialogue slightly stilted, but the description of the landscape and the scene-setting is well done. Backed.
Frank

I read a bit of this and I quite liked it. The style is different and not what I would consider mainstream, but this is a hard hitting subject which can possibly, in my view, get away with it. Good luck.
Mark
Another Day in Paradise

A Book close to my heart.

Hi L Roger

I found the plotline intriguing, when I read the pitch. I think, however, that the writing style doesn't do the story justice. I don't do 'Editor style analyses, just try and judge by the three criteria I list in my profile and, to be honest, at this stage in it's development, I don't think I'm able to Shelve your book. I wish you well with it and it may well be that I'm totally wrong and I'll see you racing to the Editors Desk!

Anthony
. '

scwylder - Few historians agree on much concerning exact dates of events surrounding Jesus. To my knowledge, there are no first hand written accounts concerning His Life. Many, if not most, dispute the "Slaughter of the Infants". Many also believe the visit of the Magi to be little more than folklore.
The Gospels we have are translations of earlier lost documents. When included in the early Bible they were termed "Divinely inspired" and have retained that appellation to this day. There are other early manuscripts which were not included, yet yield historical information.
Having said this, remember, I am writing fiction. No one knows much about Mary or her life. As to James, he never is mentioned in my story. I write about Mary and her interaction with the six men who interview her. Another note: Paul, at this time was converted but was still not completely accepted by the early followers of Jesus. He had not yet begun his travels which let to an almost explosive growth in the Christian community.

A fascinating topic and treatment. You've made a clever juxtaposition of the Luke's and Matthew's birth narratives, though some historians would point out that the census mentioned in Luke's gospel took palce in 6 or 7 A.D., when Jesus would hve been about ten or twelve. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief here, but you might consider using Matthew's version for the birth, and and have they journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem for the census take place later on.

I haven't gotten past the fourth chapter, so I'm not sure how you treat James the Just, who would be leading the Christian community in Jerusalem at this time. James, was, of course, the "brother of the Lord," though Roman Catholics and others who hold to the perpetual virginity of Mary, believe he was a cousin of Jesus. I'm also unsure of whether the dispute between James and Paul over the conversion of Gentiles had yet erupted. Again, I'm not too far into the book. It's on my bookshelf.

I imagine this will have appeal not only to Christians but also to those interested in the story of Jesus from an historical perspective, given that it imagines what Mary's POV might have been, and thus purports fills a gap between the death of Jesus and the actual date when the first gospels were written, which has always been flaw in the integrity of the New Testament. You write fluently and with an air of confidence, and I like the way you compare and contrast the different testimonies. Actually, I think this would make an excellent radio play, with each interviewer taking it in turn, and running it very much like a modern-day news interview or cros-exmination. That would have a strong dramatic impact. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony.

SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau Key

I love the idea of this story and as a Christian am so happy to see your ambitious manuscript. I think your writing flows nicely and your historical research seems thorough. I must admit I feel a bit distanced from your story due to your choice of using a narrator's point of view instead of putting us inside the head of one or more of your characters. It might be something you would like to think about when you next revise (we are always revising!). Good luck. I'm happy to back this for its great potential.
Sandy
Orphan and a Half

Roger,

I've added you to my watch list and will read soon. You and I seem to have an overlap.

Cliff (Most Blessed Am ong Women)

Hello! :) This story is of special interest to me as I am studying theology and philosophy, I'm actually in the Methodist college and the Prebyterian seminary, though I'm not training for the ministry or anything. Anyway from a purely literary point of view, I think there are some really promising ideas here and good potential; the basic premise is a good one and leaves you loads of room to develop the story in whatever particular direction you judge to be most appropriate. One possible criticism is about the opening paragraphs: i think at the very start you are maybe trying to say too much in too short a space. Anyway, backed! :)

I tried to open with a "bang", what we call here a "hook". Hopefully I caught the reader in the first page (or second) and intrigued him/her enough to continue reading.
I an considering adding a more sharply defined antagonist(s). Perhaps a Priest or a member of the Sanhedrin. They would obviously be in opposition to the early Christian church. It's just a thought at this time. Maybe I'll develop the idea, maybe not.
Anyway, thanks for your comment. L. Roger

It is good to see a book about Mary as an older woman but I wonder who this is aimed at? The story is based on the traditional versions as far as I can tell from reading Chapters 1 to 4 but perhaps there was scope for investigating more modern understandings. Still, a book with seasonal interest and certain to generate discussion. Jim D Serpent's Blood

Actually I used my King James Bible for much of the research on Jesus, along with help from my Pastor. I have (had) no interest in plowing new ground regarding the life of Jesus. My intent is (was) to show how he might have been perceived by His contemporaries and also to attempt to give substance and depth to the character of Mary. She is barely mentioned in the Gospels, yet she has achieved a somewhat major role in the Christian religion. I make no claim of historical truth other than to say I tried to be accurate to the first century in the locals I describe.

Hello! :) This story is of special interest to me as I am studying theology and philosophy, I'm actually in the Methodist college and the Prebyterian seminary, though I'm not training for the ministry or anything. Anyway from a purely literary point of view, I think there are some really promising ideas here and good potential; the basic premise is a good one and leaves you loads of room to develop the story in whatever particular direction you judge to be most appropriate. One possible criticism is about the opening paragraphs: i think at the very start you are maybe trying to say too much in too short a space. Anyway, backed! :)

I like the dialogue you use ‘son of a harlot’ very in keeping with the times. I laughed when I read ‘his wine was well watered’. I guess this was common in those days. Although Jesus is currently regarded as the son of God and therefore is denoted by He, at that time Jesus was not, so I wondered why you capitalised Him and He.
This is well written and is an interesting tale of the period. I am not an expert but it seems very authentic to me. I am happy to back it and wish you luck.

Merry Christmas.

Tony
Life Bringer

Pronouns referring to Jesus are capitalized since it is, for the most part, Mary who is talking and she, in my narrative, recognized Him as divine. L. Roger

The picture of the scene and of the people is amazingly clearly painted, I became absorbed in this story and bonded with the characters. I back this with pleasure.
BADD

Good luck with this. Backed

I like the dialogue you use ‘son of a harlot’ very in keeping with the times. I laughed when I read ‘his wine was well watered’. I guess this was common in those days. Although Jesus is currently regarded as the son of God and therefore is denoted by He, at that time Jesus was not, so I wondered why you capitalised Him and He.
This is well written and is an interesting tale of the period. I am not an expert but it seems very authentic to me. I am happy to back it and wish you luck.

Merry Christmas.

Tony
Life Bringer

I read some of the work of N.T. Wright a few years ago and was very interested in his accounts of the historical Jesus, the culture he lived in, and the history of his people. Your book ties in well with those themes. It's interestingly constructed, well written, and certainly seems well researched. Good luck with it.

It is good to see a book about Mary as an older woman but I wonder who this is aimed at? The story is based on the traditional versions as far as I can tell from reading Chapters 1 to 4 but perhaps there was scope for investigating more modern understandings. Still, a book with seasonal interest and certain to generate discussion. Jim D Serpent's Blood

Chosen

Hi L,

This is clever, different voices, different perspectives on an eternal story. You write in the period, your understanding of the subject matter and clear fascination with it does not get in the way of what is a great story, told from different angles. You enable us to envisage and understand the narrators based on their musing and reactions to the developing conversations. I have no idea how you would even begin to go about writing such a clever and self-contained piece. Someone needs to pick this up and run with it, perhaps a smaller, independent publisher. I enjoyed your writing very much, well done.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary's Loss)

Different style, entertaining and interesting.
Backed,

Lisa

What an excellent showcase of writing. You've wowed me!

Shelved
Rodney