Brute Justice

Kimmy,

You lay the groundwork perfectly in the first couple of chapters by introducing the characters, once more, to your readers and reveal their abilities via a conversation between the kids and the Dixons. I believe this will help refresh the reader's memory from the first book. I also I believe one can pick up this book (cold) without too much difficulty.

Although you have a number of characters, you're able to manage the dialogue so it's easy to follow. You have a certain "clarity" to your writing which I appreciate as a reader and admire as a writer. Sometimes, I think writers get carried away with making the dialogue a bit cryptic that they lose sight of who they're writing for--you know your audience and you cater to them.

I am a huge fan of your work. If I had a superpower, I'd like to write like Kim Jewell.

Backed with BRUTE FORCE,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

Hi Kim, just read the first five chapters and stopped there. I backed part one of the 'Justice' series (surely this can run and run?). Like the first book, I wasn't disappointed. This is ideal for the teen market and it's bloody great for adults too!
I've always been an avid reader of the old Marvel comics - Fantastic Four and the X-Men (before they were made into mainstream films) and I like this kind of societal outsiders who stick together to right wrongs and have group dynamics between them (that's the kind of themes that set Marvel comics apart from DC comics which were always 'goody-goody' All-American - there were no warts on Superman - too good to be true, but for 'heroes' like Ben Grimm (The Thing out of Fantastic 4) well, they all had back stories that were believable.
And you don't forget that, although they have these powers, they are still teenagers coming to terms with their - shall we call it - super-puberty - and all that goes with it. Check out the horse-play when they are fixing up the alarm security systems and the way Marcy has to rein them in to behave and cover her eyes when they're fooling around.
Clint's feelings of inadequacy when his powers 'go off' and the way they have to confide in their parents, very teenage stuff. I stopped reading this because I didn't complete reading the first one so I don't want to spoil the story for myself but there are hints of what happens with Dr Blevins and what he did.
Brilliant - and BACKED Chris1

Good start to this, Kim. I love how Sam just dropped the bit about their powers at the end of the chapter. Way to keep people turning the pages.

You have several characters, which can be tricky getting them all introduced, but I think you did a good job of it. I know this is a sequel, but most sequels still have to introduce the characters since it's not a given that the reader has read the first book in the series.

Backing

Brute justice
This is an interesting story. Because I’ve never read the first book in the series, I thought I might have a problem understanding this, but I didn’t. It’s a straight forward read. I like the way you do dialogue: more like a screenplay than a novel. Gives the book a sense of movement and speed. Introducing the way Clint gains his super power was a good way to start; made him sympathetic as well as a super hero. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

the balanced usage of narrative and dialogue sticks out here and show off your skills as a writer- an interesting story that l am glad to back...
read SEASONS...

I didn't look at your first book, you had mentioned that you were looking for input as to whether or not you carried the back story over--and I can tell you, that I was able to get along just fine. You've crafted your characters well, and your story and idea are strong. Not generally the kind of thing I'd read, but you piqued my interest and it was definitely worth the look.

Shelved.

This is very entertaining. I think you’ve done a good job of introducing us to the story when we haven’t read the first one. My only complaint in that department is how long it took me to figure out that Lexi and Sam were brother and sister. Not being quite certain on that score I was mildly confused at points there before they finally sat down with the parents. Some small word or phrase inserted earlier to specify the relationship would have been appreciated.

The dialogue between Clint and Sam is very funny.

“Their fear keeping coherent words from forming…” felt like overkill. You were already showing us their fear in their reactions. “The byproduct of being an overly protective mother,” the same. “He was clearly concerned for Lexi” again.

I love the way the first chapter ends. Beautiful lead in to the next.

Really, aside from a bit of flotsam that you could clean out, I think this is very well done.

Backed.

Leah Petersen – Mourn the Sun

The superpowers that have to be paid for with agony will keep your reader turning the pages but I found the beginning a bit too sudden. I would have liked to be given a bit of a reason to care that Clint was going through all this pain.

Are you assuming that the reader has read the first book? In series, or trilogies, or whatever you are planning, each book is normally expected to stand on its own and fill the reader in on the previous plot with telling summaries through the continuing action.

Enjoyable, nonetheless.

A.P. Constantin

The Crystal Butterfly Club

Hullo Kim. Great story. I can imagine going through the experience. But, your 'kids' were lucky, that had each other. Shelved and backed. Don't for get mine.

Southern dis-Comfort
Linda Lou Long
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Kim,

This is an excellent follow up work. Same powerful writing. Good for you! I am very happy to have backed.

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

Another masterwork from one of Authonomy's brightest stars. :)

Bravo! You obviously know your characters well and it shows. You have also done a nice job with incorporating what the reader needs to know from the first book into this one (without it feeling like you did it intentionally). Excellent and Backed.

HJ
The Pearl Edda

Comments on Chapter 1...

This reads smoothly. You've come on, since I read your first one (which has probably moved on, since.)

A couple of observations in reading...

When you refer to "burn" early on, I took it to mean a literal burn, something burning through the nerves if not the flesh, but perhaps it's a figurative burn? Not sure.

"Completely drenched" - adverb notwithstanding, can you be incompletely drenched?

Some of the dialogue isn't right. E.g. "Thanks for coming," he swung the door... should be

"Thanks for coming." He swung the door...

The bit about swinging the door does not modify the way he spoke the words. You could do it like this...

"Thanks for coming," he said, swinging the door...

Check a published book if you aren't sure.

I've got a feeling you're introducing too many characters upfront in this chapter. Stick as much to the key teenagers. I realise you're probably intending readers to have read the first book by the time they get to this one, but these things are often released a year apart, so even fans might have trouble recalling who is who unless you introduce them more gently.

Overall: a good start, and time precludes me from going further at this point. I will give you a run on my shelf.

Best wishes with it and regards,

TomW

Kim;

I deliberately haven't read "Invisible Justice." Wanted to check the stand-alone status of "Brute" first. It works, seamlessly as far as I can tell. Your characters sparkle with life and individuality, and. while I'm not expert on super-human abilities, yours work for me (though I'd like to see a little more trauma and self-doubt and teen angst). About the only suggestion I have would be to take all the telepathy to italics, both incoming and outgoing, unless there's actual spoken communication. It'd cause me less back-reading and confusion. Good work! (I also appreciate St. Louis as a location - close to home).

If you're up for some fantasy a notch more adult, please check out "Bumble Keep."

Terry

read Invisuble Justice a bit and found clever and could see why it made so far, this one promises to be good as well ^^

backed.

smart, tight writing, First book was great and you haven't let up in the second.


backed for sure.

Nigel Hotton - Fatal Disclosure

smart, tight writing, First book was great and you haven't let up in the second.


backed for sure.

Nigel Hotton - Fatal Disclosure

Hi Kim,
Like invisible justice, your second book, brute justice has a marvellous story line and extremely well written. I thought Sam and his friends did an excellent team work in the way they disclosed their birth secret to his parents. Overall, your writing is superb and powerful and I was kept totally engaged, especially after the first two paragraphs.
If I may, I would say that perhaps the first chapter could be split into two-purely to encourage readership but nothing to do with its actual length. Just purely psychological for the fast pace autonomist! I hope this is helpful. Good luck.
Once again, I am backing you with maximum, respect
Chief Chebe

Again well done great sequel, backed Maggie P.

Accomplished and polished storytelling. I can imagine this as a tv programme or film, it would be very entertaining. The dialogue is well written and the interaction between the characters well drawn, Clint fancying Lexi and Sam being annoyed by it is a nice touch. Look forward to seeing it on the screen one day.

Kimmy,

You lay the groundwork perfectly in the first couple of chapters by introducing the characters, once more, to your readers and reveal their abilities via a conversation between the kids and the Dixons. I believe this will help refresh the reader's memory from the first book. I also I believe one can pick up this book (cold) without too much difficulty.

Although you have a number of characters, you're able to manage the dialogue so it's easy to follow. You have a certain "clarity" to your writing which I appreciate as a reader and admire as a writer. Sometimes, I think writers get carried away with making the dialogue a bit cryptic that they lose sight of who they're writing for--you know your audience and you cater to them.

I am a huge fan of your work. If I had a superpower, I'd like to write like Kim Jewell.

Backed with BRUTE FORCE,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

Hey Kim,

I just read Chris 1's comment, and I agree whole-heartedly. I have always love all things superhero, and so I have loved what I have read so far. In fact, I was even more of a fan of the "origin story" character (ie, Spiderman was bit by a spider, Captain America received the Super Solder Serum) than the mutant character (had powers from birth, but they manifested later in life. Your kids, changed AFTER birth by the evil doctor, fall into that first category.

This may be something you have already considered, but I would ask if you might want to add just a bit of refresher as a first chapter for people who have not read the first one and might or might not even realize it is a sequel to another novel.

I am happy to back this one!

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

Hi Kim, just read the first five chapters and stopped there. I backed part one of the 'Justice' series (surely this can run and run?). Like the first book, I wasn't disappointed. This is ideal for the teen market and it's bloody great for adults too!
I've always been an avid reader of the old Marvel comics - Fantastic Four and the X-Men (before they were made into mainstream films) and I like this kind of societal outsiders who stick together to right wrongs and have group dynamics between them (that's the kind of themes that set Marvel comics apart from DC comics which were always 'goody-goody' All-American - there were no warts on Superman - too good to be true, but for 'heroes' like Ben Grimm (The Thing out of Fantastic 4) well, they all had back stories that were believable.
And you don't forget that, although they have these powers, they are still teenagers coming to terms with their - shall we call it - super-puberty - and all that goes with it. Check out the horse-play when they are fixing up the alarm security systems and the way Marcy has to rein them in to behave and cover her eyes when they're fooling around.
Clint's feelings of inadequacy when his powers 'go off' and the way they have to confide in their parents, very teenage stuff. I stopped reading this because I didn't complete reading the first one so I don't want to spoil the story for myself but there are hints of what happens with Dr Blevins and what he did.
Brilliant - and BACKED Chris1

This can obviously stand alone, as you have given the reader a brilliant breakdown of what is happening to the youngsters and opened us to wanting to know what dastardly purpose the doctor had when he set his experiment in motion.
Shelved.

Oh, such an easy read! What's so lovely is how your characters--and, ergo, the premise--are so believable. You fit in the back story of IJ seamlessly; I had no trouble getting into BJ. Shelved readily.

The best of luck to ya, Kim! It would be wonderful if you made it to the desk a second time.

-Gev

Hi Kim,

First of all congratulations on your first book making it to the top. Based on what I have read so far I'm sure this one will do as well.

It's a great story. Of course, the concept of humans with super powers isn't new but the way this story is weaved is certainly original. The only complaint is that I didn't write it first!

I didn't get the chance to read the first book (though I hope I will be able to rad a printed version soon), but as a new reader of your series I didn't have any problem in picking up the story.

A couple of minor bugs - first in the 6th paragraph of chapter one (ignoring the italics) there is an issue of mixed tenses. The story has been in past tense up to this point but the first part of that paragraph lapses into present tense. Secondly, while it becomes clear later that the protagonists are teenagers, this isn't clear at the beginning. I think you ned to establish Clint's age a little sooner.

I know this book is going to do well so it is going on my bookshelf immediately.

Ron

Oh go on then. Let's see if we can get this one up there.

Kim, What an exceptional, polished book. There’s a huge list of mediocre out there, another huge list of good, but yours is up there with the very best. I loved it and plan to return to read in greater depth. Backed
Paul
We’ve Seen the Enemy

Hi Kim,

It's great to be reading the next installment. I'm loving the antagonism between Clint and Sam over the budding romance between Clint and Lexi. Looks like I get to back another one of yours.

DW (River Dream)

In terms of info dumping, as I have not read your first book so am coming to Brute Justice fresh...

You quickly start using the term 'flashes'. Personally when I was reading this, I knew what you were getting at, but it came across like you were using a slang term for something I wanted described in a little more straightforward way. I assume you use this term in your previous novel, but maybe you could refer to changes or something, which you then mention the team called flashes.

Just made it sound like an 'in' thing that newbies are excluded from.

Introducing the team and their powers works quite naturally, did not feel I was being pumped full of info.

Having said that, I think that opening chapter loses it's initial impact after Clint start talking to Leesha. I wanted to know more about what was happening to him, and his father, than immediately jumping into a conversation. A bit about what was going on inside his head.

Hope this is of any use (and not overly critical), because I may have forgotten to mention you are a damn good writer, one of those I get envious of being able to write in a clear, easy style that doesn't saturate you in prose, but gets your point across clearly and absorbingly.

Solidly backed and I think I am going to go back and read Invisible Justice now!

Hi Kim - I had a look at chapter one only so far to see how you had continued from the earlier book. I think that the transition works well enough without a new reader feeling out of their depth. I think you could drop the first sentence as the rest of that para would raise the curiosity so that the 'truth' would slowly emerge. i was quite taken aback when Clint took off on his Harley and Leeesha's VW as they seemed younger than driving licence age - am I missing or forgetting something (I don't remember the details of the last book too well after all this time and other reads)?

The writing is still clear and the pace good so this sequel should do well too. I'll try to look at some later chapters another day and I'll be backing it tomorrow - have to take other good books off first. John / Tacitus "Where Truth Lies'

I have nothing to say other than I love it. Backed!

Looks like another winner Kim.

Glad to back it.

Melxx

Well written with the craftmanship that makes the words take life and speaks to the reader as if in the same room. The reader is drawn in by the force of the charcter involved and they reach out to the reader with warm hands as if extending friendship. C W

From what I have read, this is a good follow up to the first one.

Enjoyed what i have read so far. I need to go back and check out Invisible Justice and get up to speed with the characters. I like your style. The characters are interesting and engaging.

Kim

I see your comments all over the site....You help many....I'm almost reluctant to offer my pathetic opinion....

Your opening 2 paragraphs, read deleting:-

that were
maybe more
amount of
all

I used to edit travel brochures, if a word could be done without, we had to do without it....You may not agree......

I am no expert, but it is my understanding that sequels have to be able to 'stand alone' Reading your loaded chapter one, there is quite alot for the reader to have to catch up on......I think this would benefit from a prologue in the form of an overview/synopsis of Invisible Justice.....Just to bring us up to speed and help the reader feel more 'at home'

For what its worth I dont think you need to use capitals, your writing is powerful enough for the reader to be know when you're raising your writing voice....

Best of luck with this, and fingers crossed for your news from HC....

Shelved with pleausure.

Kim, good style. A bit heavy on adverbs ("Completely drenched?" How about just plain "drenched?" )

But I like your descriptions and your dialogue.

Love this:

Here are my comments. Feel free to ignore them.

Chapter 2 ‘Does either of your parents’ – I would have written ‘Do either of your parents’

I would have expected the parents to be visibly shaking etc. When told about the powers and want demos of each of them. I would.

‘if I need to’ I would write ‘if I needed to’

‘If Blevins comes to ask’, he’ll be none the wiser. If Blevins did ask, he would already know, plus did they buy the stuff with credit card? If so there’s a paper trail there.

“Sir, we’re pulling you up.” Would people really say Sir at that point?

The EMT’s. I don’t think there should be an apostrophe. What is an EMT anyway?

Cycle to me implies bicycle rather than motorcycle

Chapter 6
“I found another one.” – my initial reaction when reading was another what?
DMV?
That’s weird. My reaction would have been so what? Lots of people would be born on the same day as me.

There’s the moral issue of reading minds, No one tells Sam he should stop it and it makes them uncomfortable.

Should ‘Over my dead body’ be in italics?

Chapter 11: I would have written ‘tracking devices he had found’

I would take out ‘Back at the ranch’

‘your heading up the inquisition’ should be ‘you’re heading up the inquisition’

Maybe UK / US English difference but practice as a verb should be practise.

So we can expect this one on the ed desk by spring, right? Another good one Kim - of course.

Amanda

Hi Kim, I enjoyed what I've read so far and plan to return to this book as soon as I've completed editing my own.
Backed
Paul (We've Seen the Enemy)

I'm not the least bit surprised that this one is just as well done as the last. You've got a terrific, upbeat skill, and I love that this is a series. Perfect.
- Genevieve

Happy New Year Kim, and what a way to start it! Brute has everything required of a sequel, another page turner, with the characters back and so welcome.

Will read more shortly, for now BACKED with great pleasure.

Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under

Well, I would buy a sequel to Invisible Justice sight unseen in a book shop

But I will read it when life slackens off

I found starting it at Chapter Two worked perfectly for me :-!)

Hugely intriguing and entertaining!

Best wishes,

AlleJo

Good start to this, Kim. I love how Sam just dropped the bit about their powers at the end of the chapter. Way to keep people turning the pages.

You have several characters, which can be tricky getting them all introduced, but I think you did a good job of it. I know this is a sequel, but most sequels still have to introduce the characters since it's not a given that the reader has read the first book in the series.

Backing

I trust you, but you'll have to wait for comments. :o)

I remember loving the beginning of Brute when you first posted it months ago - so happy to see it back again!

~Traci

This is looking to be as good as the first book and hopefully should do as well.
One book in the top five at the right time and a sequel following it up should look good to prospective publishers or agents too.
All the best with this one, it's got my backing.
Have you a third in the pipeline?
Tim.

Let the chant begin:

BRUTE! BRUTE! BRUTE! BRUTE!

I love this! Kim, you never fail to impress. Good Luck with this one, too!

Kim,

Great timing for posting your second novel. I'm happy to back you.

Rodney