Pearl Edda

dang!!! Did you have to stop there??? LOVED IT!!! I can't wait to find out what happens next!!! This has a nice twist to it and it was well written.

The beginning confused me, but as i kept reading i got the jist of it :) This is a great story and i will definitely back!!

Haybell

This is actually one of the best Young Adult reads I have read online! I love the plot and how the book is wriiten from both Iven and Mia's POVs. Hopefully this story gets published because I am dying to read more!!! =)

Pearl Edda is an addictive read! Your pitch caught my attention and I planned on only reading a chapter, but couldn't quite stop so I read a few more :) In the beginning I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of not knowing very much about Iven's background and who he really was, but with the back and forth perspective of your characters, I really found myself enjoying the slow-paced discovery. It's one of the main reasons I'm hooked. You have created a fabulous read with a imaginative plot. I will most certainly be reading more of this one. I hope to see you published soon!

Akemi Maruyama
The Black Diamond

Could this YA fantasy be pulled off any better? I doubt it. A primer on how it's done right.

Heidi, let me know when this is in print. I want to buy it.
I got into the spirit of things straight away, and I love the ordinary but mystical feel at the beginning. The characters are fully formed, and I found it nigh on impossible to stop reading.

Backed with enthusiasm,
Dagura
'Rising Seas'

Hello Heidi,
First person limits you severely. The way you’ve used it is even worse – hopping from one sex to another ‘till I feel like a multiple-personality eunuch.
I found the first three chapters rather confusing – maybe you should let us in on what and why they’re running a bit sooner. Also how does Iven know about everyone? Does he read their minds or what? Just about the only hook is the fact that they’re running. Nothing endeared me to either of the characters. In fact, if I found this story any where but on Authonomy, I would not have read any more. By chapter three, tiny snippets gave minuscule hints of what might come.
“…my eyes did a quick perusal..” ‘perusal’ pertains to reading – in this context ‘scan’ might be a better choice of word.
Dialogue punctuation should be: She smiled, “Yes, I’m happy.” NOT She smiled. “Yes, I’m happy.” AND “Yes,” she smiled, “you could.” NOT “Yes.” She smiled. “You could.” Etc.
Ch.3 ends in mid-sentence.
It snowed and the roads were still too slushy to drive fast but everyone at school was wearing t-shirts! Surely they weren’t that tough?
Ch.11
“Chalice” = bowl-shaped drinking vessel. “Challis” = A soft lightweight fabric. You use both words apparently in the same context? So which is it?
Well done so far. Only a few mistakes. Nice character development. Credible worlds but I find it hard to rate an incomplete story. No idea whether or not there is a plot and how you tie up the loose ends.
I hope that you will rate and comment on one or more of my books
Best wishes, Charles Dyer (Mach100)

I planned on reading only 5 chapters, but instead I read the entire thing in an hour. This is an amazing book, and the i've always loved YA and this type of story. I only wish that you had more! Good Luck with this and I am definitely coming back for more! ( :
oh, and I hope your work gets published one day.

Id love a little more info on norse mythology mixed in. I love love love this so far! Please post the second half, it was such an unfair place to stop!

Hi Heidi,

You took me on an interesting trip for 12 chapters and suddenly let go. Great stuff which I will request my boys to take a look as well. Apart from a few editable nits and repeated words, it's just fine.
Starred it and backed it
All the best

Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

This is a great book. The only way it could be better would be to have it as part of my library. Best of luck with this!

dang!!! Did you have to stop there??? LOVED IT!!! I can't wait to find out what happens next!!! This has a nice twist to it and it was well written.

The beginning confused me, but as i kept reading i got the jist of it :) This is a great story and i will definitely back!!

Haybell

I have now read three chapters and I am even more impressed. I am not the novel's target audience, but if I was late teens, I would be unable to put this down - in particular I would be eager to find out whether Mia and Iven fall for each other. The writing is slick and tight and I think you've really got something here. I wish you luck in breaking into this crowded market. Jake

This is a great opening chapter. I especially like the way, Iven's ability to read minds is shown rather than told. Same goes for the importance of Olivia (who is clearly mortal) is subtly executed. I will read on with pleasure, though I am far from YA, I will keep this tag in mind as I go. All the right ingredients so far, lots of hooks and intrigue. Will decide on a shelf after reading a few more chapters. Jake

This is actually one of the best Young Adult reads I have read online! I love the plot and how the book is wriiten from both Iven and Mia's POVs. Hopefully this story gets published because I am dying to read more!!! =)

We have innumerable descriptions of mythology. Innumerable writers have accepted it as a good background to narrate their theme. Likewise you also done it, but characters you projected in your novel are not seeing anywhere. It is your achievement in finding such characters.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Heidi, I've read well beyond the first two chapters. I couldn't stop. I'm a YA/Fantasy kinda girl. Right away you hooked me with questions and the drive to find out the answers. What was Iven? What did he do to the cowboy and why was the cowboy grabbing Olivia? Why does he have to protect Olivia? What is it about her "destiny" that puts her in danger? Who is Tait? What is Olivia's patch about? Why is Iven off the market? Wow! All of these hooks in one chapter - how could I not read on? I also loved the description of Daryl. Gross, but funny too (especially flicking the mayo on the kid in front of him). I also love cliffhangers at the end of chapters and you do this nicely. You are also very skilled with voice. The voices of Iven and Mia are so clear and unique. I'm scared on that plane right along with Mia. Well, I'm not very good at this critique stuff, but I know what I like and Pearl Edda is it. I also have 11 years teaching experience (5-8 grades) and my students would love this! Good luck and thanks again for your detailed comments on mine too. Please let me know if you need me to do anything else for you or if you have any questions about what I read, etc... Sometimes I can be of better help that way. I'm quite sure you are finished and polished though. You will stay on my shelf for a long while.

Jennifer Sosniak
The Legend of the White Buffalo

A great read!!!! Really enjoyed it!! It flows well and nothing jarred with me. Left me wanting to read more...always a good sign!!!
Only one tiny tiny thing....I initially misread the first sentence....on the page 'in an ad' reads a little awkward, could you change it to 'commercial' instead?

An excellent story, well done!!! Look forward to reading the rest!!

Tolly :)

So I don't comment often on Authonomy, mainly because I haven't read much here. This is one of the few books where my attention was caught almost immediately with the hook. I've always loved reading about mythology and learning other people's takes on it and this has certainly been an interesting read.

You've flushed your characters out quite nicely and you've created a likable male lead here. I think what I like about Iven is that while he's obviously supposed to be drop dead gorgeous, he's not paying much attention to it. He acknowledges that people find him attractive and we've gathered from his younger brother that he was a little promiscuous back in his day, but he's not the typical self-absorbed role you so often find in stories now, it seems. And I love how fiercely protective he is of Olivia. He's taking his role as her protector seriously and I like that it's not the girl meets body-guard, body-guard/girl fall for each other. I like that story, I do, but not for this!

One thing I would suggest brushing up on is Mia resolving her betrayed feelings about Tait. She mentions once how hurt she is that he's lied to her about everything for all this time and then it just somehow resolves itself. I know if I were in her position, I'd definitely be a little hurt over the fact that he'd been lying about something that huge (even though it is understandable).

Also, I have to say this really quick before I sign off this review--I LOVED how Iven told Mia the truth. That was quite comical given the circumstances of everything, which is just so refreshing. His bluntness reminded me of Castiel from Supernatural--don't know if you've ever seen that.

Anyway, lovely story so far! Backing this :)

Alright, I have found a little time to do a little reading/writing as I'm finished with my English Final. Backed!

Heidi. I am so proud to reback this book and I can't wait till it makes the editors desk...and it will Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

I'm not just adding this to my watchlist because you commented on my book Alpana the ice dragon, but because I am truly interested in reading it. I'll give it a go after I've finished school. Three more weeks left and two finals then I'll have a nice long holiday break, during which I plan to write, read comment and dive head first back into the writing community! Thanks again for the reader feadback! ;)

Well, I think you are onto a winner here.I was only going to read the first three chapters but got to chapter 8 without realising. This is good writing, a winning formula,and though I am far away from being a YA any longer, I really enjoyed reading it. I could see this as a TV series.It has everything, the mystery, the special powers, the charismatic 'twins', the High School setting.Have you thought about proposing it as such? You could have a job for life writing it! Very, very good.
I have only a few comments to make on things that stopped the story for me, momentarily. I offer them in the spirit of caring about what is in fact a very professional and a unique book.
Chapter 4. Did Grandma cook the meal while they were there or prepare it before? If before you need to say 'grilled steak and onions she had made'. If she cooks after they arrive then you are correct.( I know these are small points but they may distract the reader.)
Chaper 5 I am not sure about her being 'swallowed' by his eyes. And you have used swallowed in the previous paragraph. How about 'drowning in' 'mesmerised by' 'hypnotised by' 'felt she was in a whirlpool'????

I love the phrase 'for once in my ancient life'!

SPORK! Thanks for educating this Brit. For a moment there I thought we had strayed in sci-fi LOL

Chapter 8 You need to add a 'to' in the sentece;'I hadn't been able talk to Tait.'

I like the way you dovetail the two accounts.

As I said, just small things. A very good book as far as I have read.I wish you well with it and will support it next month by shelving.
Fontaine.
(Legacy).

A page turner and I'm not a fantasy fan!

Backed

Clare
A Policeman's Lot

“BACKED” Pearl Edda. Marvelous! We’re betting this makes it to the top five. We are definitely “BACKING” your talent. Good Luck!
CC Brown
DARK SIDE

Pearl Edda is an addictive read! Your pitch caught my attention and I planned on only reading a chapter, but couldn't quite stop so I read a few more :) In the beginning I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of not knowing very much about Iven's background and who he really was, but with the back and forth perspective of your characters, I really found myself enjoying the slow-paced discovery. It's one of the main reasons I'm hooked. You have created a fabulous read with a imaginative plot. I will most certainly be reading more of this one. I hope to see you published soon!

Akemi Maruyama
The Black Diamond

Solidly grounded in the Eddas with a few implicit references to the Sagas, this is a YA that can be read and deeply appreciated by adults too. There's no talking down or watering down here. Just a ripping good yarn with enough depth for the mind to chew on. I'm reminded, pleasantly, of the great Alan Garner. This is absolutely terrific and I want it published now, so I can put it on my bookshelf! Backed, with considerable pleasure and best wishes.

Great, great read, the first three chapters are wonderfully paced and are an example of how its done. Can't add to anything below - its all been said.

backed

Rob

Could this YA fantasy be pulled off any better? I doubt it. A primer on how it's done right.

Excellent opening chapter. The characters are real; the observations of people are clever, and the plot has me hooked already. I will be reading more, and I am definitely backing this book.

Really intriguing Synopsis, I'd be happy to exchange reads/backing if you are game?

This is a wonderful first chapter! Looking forward to reading more of it!

thanks for lookng at my story! I'll have a look at yours as soon as possible!

Have added to my WL after reading your blurb. Norse mythology is a particular buzz of mine.

This is extremely talented writing. Unique storyline, fresh writing voice, interesting plot. Definitely one of the better books on this site!

Backed with pleasure,
Cori
"Princess"

Many thanks for sharing your incredible story. I think you could have a large market here. Especially with school libraries and such. Happily backed. Mariah

I only have time to read your first chapter, but I was instantly intrigued and can't wait to read more. I am an avid reader of YA romance fantasy, and I found you gave just enough info to keep me reading, and the end of chapter one is def. a page turner. BACKED
Would you mind checking out my YA Romance Lightscape, I would appreciate comments!

Hi Heidi,
I've just backed your book. Your storyline is really interesting - I like the way you feed little snippets of information to keep the reader's interest. It made it quite intriguing and I just got sucked right into it from the beginning.
Good stuff.
Kind regards
Rhonda Louise
(Wombat Sushi)

Heidi, let me know when this is in print. I want to buy it.
I got into the spirit of things straight away, and I love the ordinary but mystical feel at the beginning. The characters are fully formed, and I found it nigh on impossible to stop reading.

Backed with enthusiasm,
Dagura
'Rising Seas'

I very seldom want to read beyond the first chapter of so of books I read on this site but I had to read on past chapter 2 to see where this was going. Very well done indeed. I would buy this book. Backed with pleasure.

I hope you will take a look at my novel, Earth Reaver. I would welcome any comments and your backing.

Herschel Shirley

Hi Heidi - I am totally loving this! This is great and one of the best YA novels I've read here on Authonomy. Your pitch is funny, the plot is original, the characters unforgettable, and these teenagers really feel like teenagers. Well done and congrats on having written such a well-thought out and well-executed story. Kudos!

I'm definitely backing this, since its combination of originality, seamless writing, quirky and believable characterization, and Norse mythology plot tie-in makes me confident you'll get this published. I'm positive you will!

~ Meg, author of "Daniel's Garden"

Hi Heidi - I am totally loving this! This is great and one of the best YA novels I've read here on Authonomy. Your pitch is funny, the plot is original, the characters unforgettable, and these teenagers really feel like teenagers. Well done and congrats on having written such a well-thought out and well-executed story. Kudos!

I'm definitely backing this, since its combination of originality, seamless writing, quirky and believable characterization, and Norse mythology plot tie-in makes me confident you'll get this published. I'm positive you will!

~ Meg, author of "Daniel's Garden"

Heidi, your book is extraordinary. I've read the first chapter and just had to comment. Absolutely thrilled to back and jealous as well. Wonderful writing.
Eileen

This is such an original concept, and the cover is haunting, but then I always find wolves make my spine tingle.
I like your pitch and wasn't disappointed when I read the first chapter. Well done. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

I think Norse mythology was probably ripe for this treatment.

An unique plot and characters. The first several chapters are intriguing enough to urge the reader on to finnd the answers to the puzzles - What is Iven? Who is after Olivia? How does Mia fit in?

I like that the chapters are compact and straight forward. Each ends in a way to push into the next.

Elizabeth Love
(Pouring the Cup)

Hi,

Great book! I'm very tired right now, and this kept me captivated and reading anyway. I wish you all the best.

:)
Sherry

I really enjoyed this read. I read far more than I meant to because the story just carried me along.

Tracy
The Candyfloss Room

First chapter and I'm hooked. Backed!

Your writing is strong and polished. The story is interesting. Happy to back. My only tiny critique is that when you 'tell' us that Alexis is describing the house to Olivia, I'd like to 'see' it. I'd like to hear Alexis's descriptions so I can get a feel for this beautiful house that they are moving into.

Cheers and good luck with your writing,
Jennifer - A MATTER OF CONSCIENCE-

What an imagination. Why did I think of this?
Beautifully written and great premise. It delves right into the action.

Suz

great book, i really love it so i'll keep reading it :)
Backed!
Good luck, this one really deserves to be published!

Ramoon

I loved the pitch - I'm a sucker for bringing old mythologies into contemporary context. What I've read so far is an easy invitation into the world, subtle suspense and a clever introduction to Iven's abilities. Norse mythology is a goldmine and I'm glad you're tapping into it
I tend not to like first person narratives, but you're good at it. And it works here. I was most impressed with the shift in voices from Iven to Mia in Chapter 3 - different styles and different voices. It's a testament to your talent. I happily back this book and look forward to reading more.

This is an enchanting, exciting fantasy with interesting and well fleshed out characters. Your storyline is magical. Fresh dialogue. Compelling narrative. Smooth writing. A delight to read. Backed.

Hi there,
I love the premise and read several chapters in the book. I enjoy Norse mythology very much. A wonderful idea and I will back this.
Roberta

I love the fact that you are giving voice to the two main characters. two sides of the coin so to speak.
I like it so I back it.

Jon