Flamenco

X,

Flamenco - I love the subtle pathos, the absorbing details, poignantly conveying psychologcal truth, the unique sayings from the family's treasure-trove, the laconic, multi-telling observations of the narrator. This is a rare piece of writing, which I'm pleased to support.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

hey unknown, you draw us into this world with precise yet poetic descriptions. i can see these people, feel them, hear them.
on my shelf.
saw a few very minor edits you might want to consider.
"i like the dead too" - referring to Grateful Dead, i think - "the Dead"
not sure about the "129,600 minutes." interrupts the flow, i think. we can get their connection from the surrounding text.
all in all, nice one!
best, andy

I read the first chapter. I'm seriously stuck for time at the moment and chapter one is quite long, but I really liked what I read, its obvious you're a great writer. This is written very well and I really enjoyed it.
Backed.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Xtheunknown, when I see something described as chick lit I expect it to be a bit slick if amusing. This is literary but with all the charm of chick lit. There's an immediacy from using the present tense. It's excellently written.The descriptions of Malene and John captivate. Shelved. Lynn

A relaxing read with characters easy to relate to. The structure and plot seem fine and the book flows at a reasonable pace. I think the change of fonts threw me, but I too learnt from comments like this as my book had a great deal of fonts change until I picked up support from this site. I am still learning on editing and grammar so hope others will help you in that direction if needed. I liked Malene and the story read well. I thought the pitch was ok and hope you can get Bradley or someone else to help you with a nice cover.

backed,

ww Lisa

A Fine Line

Your pitch caught my attention.. so WL for now until I can get back to you. Hopefully this weekend. Pam

Aaawwkk I thought this was just lovely :) The plot development was good, and I was convinced that the characters were real people. I think your pitch to the book isn't that great really, it didn't seem to correlate with what I read. It is quite difficult to know what to say in the book pitch. Anyway back to the text, the font changed a few times and I'm not sure whether this is a good idea or not. One element I often consider is that readers on authonomy may find it hard on their eyes to reading a story off a computer screen, so I am a fan of simple layout and double-spacing, cause authonomy isn't the same as reading from a book.
Anyway, this is just so lovely, I'm all smiles! Backed with pleasure my dear :-)

Thank you so much. I never even thought about the font. I will go double space it and make it more uniform. I very much appreciate your input, and I'm glad you liked the story.

Aaawwkk I thought this was just lovely :) The plot development was good, and I was convinced that the characters were real people. I think your pitch to the book isn't that great really, it didn't seem to correlate with what I read. It is quite difficult to know what to say in the book pitch. Anyway back to the text, the font changed a few times and I'm not sure whether this is a good idea or not. One element I often consider is that readers on authonomy may find it hard on their eyes to reading a story off a computer screen, so I am a fan of simple layout and double-spacing, cause authonomy isn't the same as reading from a book.
Anyway, this is just so lovely, I'm all smiles! Backed with pleasure my dear :-)

I love the progression of the story. You captured the disillusionment of the initial infatuation period of a relationship so perfectly. I really love Malene's character; she was a class-act throughout the whole story and very easy to sympathize with. I feel like she is a much better role model than many of the female characters featured in stories targeted at young adults.

John was awful, but I can sort of understand why Malene initially fell for him. The fact that he was so sullen and quiet allowed her to misinterpret his behavior; a paradox you showed very well in the story. I love how more and more of his bad personality is revealed as the story progresses, and how at the end, you realize what a jerk he really was!

Craig sounds absolutely wonderful. I definitely need a Craig in my life. ;)

Wonderful story. I had a great time reading it.

-Nenia

Want to swap reads? I think we're both into shallow main characters.
Thanks,
Lori Buckman (In Her Own Backyard)

I like it. Characters are intriguing from the get go. Will definitely come back to it and read more later. I think the pitch is interesting--raises more questions than it answers, so you want to read more. That's just me, though. Maybe I'm a hack. Haha.

Amanda

Thank you Amanda. I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you Suzannah.

I will try to change the pitch. I write for my own pleasure, so the concept of "pitching" is a little odd to me. But you have given me good advice, and I will try to take it.

I have backed your book with pleasure. The pitch doesn't do it justice, the story is far better than the pitch would suggest. I would recommend expanding the pitch more as most readers will read and comment because of what the pitch lures them with.

Well worth backing.
Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under

I like it. Characters are intriguing from the get go. Will definitely come back to it and read more later. I think the pitch is interesting--raises more questions than it answers, so you want to read more. That's just me, though. Maybe I'm a hack. Haha.

Amanda

I have backed your book with pleasure. The pitch doesn't do it justice, the story is far better than the pitch would suggest. I would recommend expanding the pitch more as most readers will read and comment because of what the pitch lures them with.

Well worth backing.
Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under

I have backed your book with pleasure. The pitch doesn't do it justice, the story is far better than the pitch would suggest. I would recommend expanding the pitch more as most readers will read and comment because of what the pitch lures them with.

Well worth backing.
Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under