An Unbreakable Bond

An Unbreakable Bond is an unputdownable read - except I obviously have put it down to comment to you. I am happy to back this book. It flows well and the sweet bitterness of the girls' separation is only the first of their many trials, I'm sure. I hope this book is a success for you.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

An Unbreakable Bond has been on my watch list for ages, and I can't figure out why, or even how it got there. I suppose I must have put it there but I can't remember doing it, and I'm pretty sure it's not a return read. This is not a book I would pick up off a shelf. It does not fit into any of my preferred genres. So why is it on my watch list? I don't know, but it is, and as I said, it has been there for quite a while, so I thought I might as well take a quick look at it. That was six chapters ago…well, five if you don't count the contents page.

This captivated me almost from the start. It is very well written. All the characters from the sisters in the orphanage through to the kitchen staff and residents of Lord Marley's country house, and the awful Madame Marie and Miss Stalton, are all realistically portrayed. Hattie, Megan, and Cissy are sympathetic main characters and are each individuals in their own right. The dialogue is superb and, to my eye at least, seems to be true to the time and classes of the characters.

Chapter four came as a bit of a surprise, and made for some difficult reading, but in a good way. I tell you, if I could have got my hands on that scoundrel Marley at that point, I would not have been responsible for my actions.

So, how did this get on my watch list? I don't know, maybe I had a momentary lapse into good taste and put there without noticing. But however it got there, I'm glad it did, and now it is going onto my shelf.

Patrick
Trinity

Author with high talent spotting ranks spots hight talent here.

Hi, this is a good read at least if the beginning is anything to go by. I enjoyed the interplay between the characters and it rung true. Will return with more comments as I proceed.

I'm not a writer, but I know what I like to read. An Unbreakable Bond was recommended by our friends CC Brown author of Dark Side. Read, liked, star rated, and backed. Hope you will find a place on your shelf for their book.
RickieBill

It's a very gripping start and the interchange between the two girls as they face separation is convincing. You've a clumsy sentence - it begins 'Knowing Rev Mother .... ' It just needs turning around. It would enthral young girls as well as the adult female market. Stars, Lara
Good for Him

Mary
An Unbreakable Bond begins at a turning point in the two girls lives when they are about to go out into the world. The characters are well-portrayed and we can hear the dialect as we read, bringing the characters to life. The setting and time are very authentic, the story looks to be well-plotted, if harrowing, and well-written. The small paragraphs are appealing - I think this is what's known as a page-turner!
A few small nits would be, I felt occasionally the writing could be tightened eg 'sounds warning a nun approached' was a bit clunky. Once or twice I noticed tense slips eg 'Sister Bernadette is the only person' (instead of 'was'), and occasionally you tell rather than show eg the paragraph where Megan is in the motorbus, we are told that she is miserable and desolate. But these small points are easily rectified. I hope this is helpful.
I will be happily backing when I next clear some space on my shelf.
All the best
Kate
Sucka!

An unput downable read. The girls have certainly got off to a rough start in life.Poor Hattie knew what happened to Daisy could happen to her but could do nothing about it. Megan on the other hand stands a chance of improving her lot and has a new friend. I am putting this on my shelf as it makes me want to know what happens next. Regards, Anne

Hi Mary, "An unbreakable bond" is a very moving and well written story. I found it very sad for the girls at times but understand thats how it used to be. You have a great writing talent which shows from the very first chapter, most important if your book is to succeed which I think it will.
I have read your book in the past, just wanted to mention it again as its such a good read.
Wishing you all the best and rate your book.
Kind regards,,

Neville THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST - THE TIME ZONE)

I have read this book and it has well earned a pride of place on my shelf at home as well as on here, and is one of my favourite books. I loved the characters, the bond between them and their gutsy fight throughout the book. The book has the emotions of a Catherine Cookson, the business sense from a Barbara Bradford Taylor book, and the courage from the author. The most significant factor is that like it's author- it has a depth, the more you find out, the more you like, it is enjoyable, compelling and addictive, roll on the next sequel.

Backed again with pleasure.

Lisax

AN UNBREAKABLE BOND
I've been meaning to read this for ages, so here goes. We have the sad and bitter -sweet story of Megan and Hattie, 'born-of-sin' children who've been brought up in an orphanage run by nuns. They are separated as soon as they reach thirteen years of age and are quite stricken with the thought of being without one another.
Your characters in the orphanage are quite believable - the cold, patrician-like Mother Superior and the two girls, with their naivety, confusion and sense of being lost without each other.
It was easy to get lost in your writing; clear, concise and with a nice almost lilting flow to it. This is very well written, sublime in places and with cracking dialogue that fits perfectly in with the period of the piece.
This is written in a strong hand, emotional and harrowing at times, complex and absorbing. There are touches of many other writers in here, among them the classic Catherine Cookson. I for one certainly enjoyed this and would not hesitate to buy this to complete my read. Will back this asap.
Very best of luck
Faith
the Assassins Village

Very much a story of our times, which you have done well to write at all, as subjects like this have to be handled with great care The whole story is put together extremely well and the writing style is first class. Well done - and keep writing!

Philip John

HELLO MARY ' AN UNBREAKABLE BOND '

Captures the story right from the off as i started to read it . love the conversational pieces between nuns and girls. dialogue certainley captures the period and the strictness that prevailed
your book is a page turner and most interesting
backed
TOM BYE ' FROM HUGS TO KISSSES'

Brilliant!


backed
The mind setter

Dear Mary,

Great! I saw that tinge of an unbreakable bond as you called it. A complex story with gripping characters that engender a desire to follow. Iam really touched by the subject matter. A great read, well plotted, well written, with clear professional mastery. Your characters and descriptions have the same authentic message. This is, 'don't stop till you get enough.' Wish you the best.:) x x x x

Elijah E. Yamslaw (Victims African Wealth)

Hi Mary

What a wonderfully engrossing story! It's an old-fashioned tale of the loving bond between two girls and their struggle to make their way in the world, that will keep many people happily entertained. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

Backed your book with pleasure. Good job. And very best wishes regarding your health. I'll keep you in my prayers.

I like the story a lot and feel the dialouge is excellent between the different people. You must have done quite a lot of research on the period to have got it so right. I am backing this book and hope it reaches the top on this site.
Take a look at my book, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story which seems to need help. Regards, JohnJ

This is a great read and deserves to spend time on everyone's shelves. Very well written with a great plot. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Very readable and well written. I sat to read a chapter and have read all you have downloaded. Good luck with getting into print.
Backed with pleasure.
Lizzie Scott :-)

Hi Mary ...

A well written novel with a good plot and strong characters. Dialogue is good and the story flows well. 'Backed'. Regards ... Duncan.

A complex story with characters that engender a desire to follow. Many elements that lead to a stroy that is quite worthy.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

Thank you for backing Rose of Crimson, and best of luck to you. Hope your surgery goes well, in fact I'm sure it will. I know how overwhelming it can be the day before the surgery, been there.
The unbreakable bond is an amazing book and I'm enjoing it very much. Backed.

Mary, This is a very well written, absorbing story. It bears the possibility of truth, too, set in the days before women were allowed to vote or there were youngsters called teenagers who started to have a say in life. This is quite a page-turner and I think it should take it's place with other successful books.
Backed,
Ann Mynard (Windshadow)

Mary,
I am really touched by the subject matter. This is a poignant story of love and friendship, a story of two inseparable and lonely lives and the world they live in, against all the backlash they receive. The first chapter starts off rather somberly as the girls are greeted by the Reverend Mother and are given some indication of separation - in fact, from the very beginning, the reader is immersed into the hopelessness that prevails in the lives of these two girls as they realize they have to make their own plans without the other.

This is obviously a sad read but one that I believe will touch the hearts of many since the meaning of friendship weighs heavy in this memorable book.

Backed with Pleasure!

Romilla
Forgetting Sally

Dear MAry
This historical fiction was one that just grabbed me first time around, but already said all that.....I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT
just let me know if it does not show
BEST OF LUCK
Denise

AN UNBREAKABLE BOND
A well written book. The charecters are gradually developed.'wee one' evokes sympathy.
"And you, Megan. Are pleased ..... go to...?; "....Ta ever so much" _ Not clear. Need editing?
Backed.
TMN

Mary I read all five chapters, which was no task as it is written so well. Hate the rape scene but I know this will serve to increase the pleasure later on in the book when the girls escape their terrible situations - and hopefully take their revenge (or I will be so disappointed). What a life women of no means and standing lived back in those times - dreadful!
This is a book I would like on my real bookshelf rather than just this ephemeral HC shelf - but of course I will put it there in the first instance.
all the best with it
regards
Alice

A very well-written good-paced book. I like the way you start out with some dialogue, while still transitioning smoothly into the details that set the stage. Very easy to visualize and grasp.
Backed with pleasure!
Joel Juedes

An Unbreakable Bond is an unputdownable read - except I obviously have put it down to comment to you. I am happy to back this book. It flows well and the sweet bitterness of the girls' separation is only the first of their many trials, I'm sure. I hope this book is a success for you.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Backed

shah

This is fantastic! Beautifully written, and sad to think that many girls of that era were treated as Megan, Hattie and Cissy; especially by the hands of the church.

You bring the characters to life in a way that makes you feel like you could really know them and be their friend.

Happily Backed
Denise

Mary,
This is a beautiful piece. The dialogue in the first chapter (2) is excellent. Without even thinking about it, we get to know the two girls merely by what they say.
The next chapter starts with a lack of dialogue, except internally, but it is so entertaining and just flows so quickly; then it blossoms further when Laura engages Mrs Grantham.
You are clearly a very skilful writer. Everything about your work is spot on. This book starts off so well and gets even better as it goes along; it should really be taken on by a mainstream publisher.
All the very best with it
Abigail

What a great start, Mary. You are clearly an excellent author. I liked the way you developed the characters, mainly in dialogue and I felt it flowed nicely. Not too many characters introduced in the first chapter so a fairly relaxed read. I'm sure to come back for more. One minor question: you say, 'Him that did it to Daisy'. Any reason for the capital H? Backed with pleasure, Gordon The Harpist of Madrid

Boy, can you write! this is a story that really appeals to me. Maybe because I went to a convent school as a child - a convent school where they didn't recognise the dyslexia I suffered from - and most of the nuns were strict and restrictive in their communication with the pupils. I really want to see this book in print and will certainly buy it and consume every page avidly. I am keeping it on my watchlist and intend to read all you have posted. I have backed it of course, there was never a doubt from reading the first few words - it's my kind of book.

Beautifully descriptive writing brings this alive. The characters and situations are very well drawn letting you feel apart of the story. Best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Mary,

This is a good story, with a pace that suits the period. I especially enjoyed the dialogue between the two girls. You differentiate their voices well, and Hatties dialect was never obtrusive.

I noted a few minor nits in chapter one you might like to consider:

--you start with a pronoun (their) that has no reference, which is to say the reader doesn't know who it stands for;

--the word 'their' is also used quite heavily;

--In the third paragraph you have a comma before Megan's dialogue, which should be a full-stop; and

--After the Reverend Mother calls 'Enter' you write, 'Reverend Mother's tone cracked her already frayed nerves', I think you mean Megan's nerves, but as written it suggests the Reverend Mother's own nerves (the same thing happens a couple of paragraphs later).


Chapter two is equally well done, with the contrast between the classes shown well (my grand mother was in service). The only thing that didn't quite jell here was Laura's reaction at the end--it had seemed that things had moved on from Mrs Grantham being put out by the comment about her daughter.

This is a solid period piece that I'm happy to back.

Mary, like a lot of classic literature, An Unbreakable Bond has elegant prose yet the content doesn't shy away from the struggles of life. I read the first chapter & from the use of language I could believe that it was written in the time it was set. There was one typo I noticed: persistence should be persistent. This is a well crafted & powerful novel. I wish you all the best with it. I'm happy to find a place for it on my shelf.
Tim
Vitality

Hi, Mary! Thanks so much for your comment on my book. I read the first 5 chapters of your book, 6 chapters if you count the table of contents. You have a wonderful style, great characterization and your word choice is almost always dead on. I found myself actually starting to care about your MC, which most writers are incapable of doing for me. Yes, I know rape scenes are difficult to write, but you handled it well, finding just the right balance between under-desricption and over-description.

And here are my nits:

Ch. 1

First line has the word “draughty.” This might turn some readers away. Uncommon words are okay to use later on, but not in the first couple of paragraphs. You want to hook your reader first. And I realize "draughty" might not be an uncommon word wherever you're from, but I'm a Texan and hate to admit that I had to look it up over at dictionary.com.

‘The small comfort the gesture gave died instantly” – erase the word “instantly.” You don’t need it.

“However, Sister Bernadette has been very persistence” -- should be "persistent."

Ch. 3

“And loneliness like she’s never known before crushed her.” The wording here is a little awkward, I would consider rearranging the words to…. “She was crushed by a loneliness she’d never known before.”

Good luck with your book!

We are drawn in immediately to this story because of your down-to-earth and charming representations of Hattie and Megan. They are believable and seem real and in the space of a few paragraphs, we are already rooting for them. We get a sense of their innocence and I don't know if it's because of the tone and stark (at times) imagery, or because of your pitch, but I definitely got a sense of impending doom as well. A cold, stone world peopled with warm bodies. But from the onset, there is hope because of the relationship between these two girls and I imagine that's what keeps the story going and rooted. It's always fun to talk about themes and styles, etc., when there is nothing to talk about in terms of the actual writing. This is beautifully done, brilliant writing.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Please do not change anything on this; such a great pitch!

I was spell-bound from the very start of my read of this fantastically crafted title.

The flow and pace is easy, and graces this title with elegance - You have written this title expertly - Your literary does more than shine; it glows throughout this title.

What a fantastic story, that pulls the heart strings. When you place this title on book shelves, in book stores; be sure to place large quantaties of tissues close at hand!

Wishing you every success - BACKED!

stevew
The Ultimate/The Authors Cut

...cascading from each side... = how about jutting out/protruding/fanning out from?
I love the way you portray the naivety and innocence of the children through the dialogue and their interaction with the nuns...very authentic and as plainly simple as their serge dresses! There are a few minor issues here and there but otherwise this is a theme that always inspires great interest in lovers of historical fiction...elegant and refined...just like the lady in the 'avatar'!
Best wishes
Stewart (Vanessa Darnleigh)

This is a powerful and heartbreaking story and I felt a lump in my throat many times whilst reading it. You are a talented writer indeed!
Definitely one for the Editors Desk!
Backed

Mary, tears are welling in my eyes even by the end of the first chapter. Your writing, and knowing how true this was for so many girls, brings it all to life now. Yet, the strange thing is, you bring it all to life, but it fascinates, with colour and character and a compelling need to find out how Megan and Hattie fare. Their *placements* promise a kind of theatrical glamour for one, and all the intrigue of a 'big house' with that "Upstairs-Downstairs" feel for the other's life-to-be.

I'll be reading more, and the only nitpicks I can find at this point are a few typos you might want to clear before submitting the work! So, whether you want them or not, here they are -

Reverend Mother says: "......Bernadette has been very persistent......" (You have "persistence");

"..........meant she must be careful not want to give her an excuse to do so". I think either a comma after 'careful' is needed, or "..........careful not TO give her an excuse to do so".

Bernadette says "Are pleased to know........" I think you meant "Are you pleased to know......"

Only one other thing...ha - the pitch. I like this, but I think the last line gives away the ending. HC advised us to write these things like a book's dust-jacket blurb. So I think it might serve you well to re-word it somehow - keeping the "unbreakable bond" A suggestion - "Only Hattie and Megan's unbreakable bond gives them a true sense of their own worth". (Taken from your tag line!).

FAR worthier than the likes of Barbara Taylor-Bradford, and it has my backing with good wishes to you.

From Kay ("Waystation to Prosperity Street")

Mary,
I have just finished reading all six chapters of "An Unbreakable Bond", and I don't know where to start and how to express, what this beautiful piece of work has done. From the beginning you introduced us to the two main characters, Megan and Hattie, and their heartbreaking separation from the convent, to a placement.
The dialogue in your work is superb, and clearly differentiates the period setting.

The unfortunate circumstance which threw these girls into the next chapter of their lives, is also quite disturbing as Hattie is the first to be assaulted by the scoundrels of the placement she finds herself. Megan is a bit more fortunate at this stage, having met Cissy, but of course who knows what's in store for her next.

I had no problem whatsoever reading all six chapters in one stand. Since I love period pieces I can see this one, doing very well out there. I would highly recommend this novel to all readers on this site, and will also recommend it on my profile page.

Congratulations Mary, you are an excellent writer.
Helen

Backed this book, because it deserves it so much
Helen

The writing is extremely polished and assured. The two girls are very cleverly shown to be different and there's a strong sense of one being more wordly than the other, but both cpme across as inoocents (for now). In terms of tone and foreshadowing i think it's obvious hard times are ahead and there wil be unpleasantness to endure for both of them. My feeling is that it will be quite a sad book, and not really the kind of ordeal i would personally want to put myself through, but also that it's an accomplished piece and will be a thoroughly good read. Backed.

Marrying a man she doesn't love sounds familiar. Why does that seem to happen so often? I guess people have to get by with what they have, huh? I love the bond between Megan and Hattie. I pity Megan for getting into the bad marriage. Hattie's situation wit Lord Marley sounds even worse. "Does it hurt?" The age-old question. I love your dialogue and your descriptive abilities. Simply, this is a fascinating book and I'll be back to read more when I can. Backed for now.

I didnt get a chance to read the whole first part, but the part of it that i did read i enjoyed. Id like to put this book on the shelf. Im excited to see whether or not Hattie turns out like Daisyand if so, how she handles it. Can't wait to read on! Well done.

If you get a chance, take a look at Twin Chambers, if you think its worthy, maybe you can return the favor.

Shelved.

Kaleigh Shae W.
Twin Chambers the beginning

The style and composition of your story, in a number of sections over a long period of time invites the reader to settle in an make themselves at home. I liked your use of language and dialogue o bring the period to life. Either you had too many turns at the hands of the nuns and the wicked and their ways or you have conducted a formidable degree of research. In any case it is very convincing and well deployed. Quite an amazing feat, and one sincerely hope to read much more of. I think there are a large number of similarities underlying the narrative in our two stories and I think it will be interesting to confirm my suspicions by getting to experience the whole text. I promise you, you will find the same if you read the rst of mne. I t will be interesting to compare notes afterwards.

Btw - was "babbies" in chapter 1 intentional or typo?

See you at the ED.

Sincerely,

Will

You seem to have caught the tone of your time and place perfectly. I don't have much history with nuns, but the conversation with the Mother Superior sounded just right to me. This is nicely written and has a great sympathetic feel to it. Easy to back.
Craig
The Job

great use of dialogue for really good book...on watchlist...
su dan...read SEASONS...

Mary, well written, nice style and flows for reader, backed John Warren Lasting Images.