The Wanderer

David, your strong cover attracted me to this book, but having read eight chapters without pause I only wish I'd seen it earlier. The post-apocalyptic world, with a single survivor, is hardly a new premise, but you bring a fresh realism to the story with finely-honed prose and some outstandingly rich imagery.
It's very far removed from a fast-paced thriller - you'll have to wait for Hollywood to come calling for that - but there's such depth to the writing, fuelled by a remarkable imagination, that the patient, languid style you chose comes into its own. It's a mournful, contemplative story, by its very nature, but without descending into hopelessness.
There's work to be done here. It could be tighter in places for instance as the excellence of your descriptions can occasionally lead to excess, but I'm very impressed with this. I'd happily read it all and the quality of the writing is exceptional.
Backed with admiration. When it appears in print, I'll buy this.
Jared.

This is great! Will there be more?

A very dark and intense introduction to your book...the atmosphere is well imagined and constructed...I wondered why there was no dialogue but now I know!
Backed with pleasure
Stewart

Fantastic. A potent science fiction tale. Sympathetic protangonist. Perceptive narrative. Well-imagined settings. Poignant scenes. Excellent pacing. Compelling twists. Awesome world building. Superb writing that engages the reader's intellect as well as emotion. An immensely enjoyable reads. Backed.

Dear David

just love your short pitch which really encouraged me to read on. your long pitch sold me your book. I have not read it all and certainly cannot comment with regard punctuation and grammar , i would not presume. but I know what I enjoy and I did your book so far. Over time I will carry on reading for sure. I will say that I like the feel that I am sitting with you and you are telling me the story, we all like that.
Please take a moment to look, COMMENT which is
important to me, and BACK my book. if not that is OK
also
The VERY best of luck to you

BACKED BY ME FOR SURE.
Denise
The Letter

Dear David, I love that you put me right there with your hero as he tries to survive :) - the girl was a wonderful touch to your story :) - was she like shell-shocked? :) Your pitch was totally concise, so I knew the setting - your storyline moved me right along. :) Touching :) - hope this doesn't really happen - kinda like the Planet of the Apes. :) I've backed your book :) - could you please take a moment to back my memoirs book? :) Thanks so very much. :) Love, Susie :) I discovered this book when I backed your other book, today, so will go & read & comment on it. :)

:) comment to follow - read & commented on shortly thereafter :)

Hi David,

No particular critique to offer becasue I thought `The Wanderer` was very well written. You`ve really captured the boy`s desperation as he searches for other survivors. Backed with pleasure.

Good luck,
Cerys (Gabriel)

Hi David,
I was reminded by your pitch of Oryx and Crake by Margaret Ashwood. I enjoyed chapter one but had a problem uploading it to the end. The description of your MC and the bathroom he inhabits are very good and reminded me of the bathrooms and rooms described in 'Little Krisna'. You do suggest that there are other survivors ( not too many others interested in theft..), so I wondered why you had the word 'single' in your pitch (just a thought).
Backed for very good writing, great descriptions and a first chapter that has made me want to read the second. I hope the error was on my machine and not on your upload. Maybe, worth checking?
Best wishes,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Great cover, stunning pitch, this grabs you straight away. it reminded me of the beginning of i am Legend where it took forever for will smith to actually do someting but here it is very atmospheric ad very much part of the character which helps propell the story. haven't got to the mystery yet but will read on.

Your story is very detailed, well written and well paced with a good depth to it. Your storyline is intriguing, your use of imagery is excellent and this coupled with your highly descriptive writing style and strong command of the English Language makes your finely crafted science fiction novel a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans:
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi David
This is vry good and reminds me of The Road. I like the deatails you provide at every turn and you have managed to conjure up a grand setting of a world fallen. The boy's struggle is clear and vivid in the reader's mind and you sure mange to keep the reader glued with your talented writing. Your pitch is perfect and clear.

Happy to back this.
Hope you check out The Lord of the Dawn

The Wanderer

I think this is a very unique take! Very well done.
To me it is the intelligent way this has been structured that really makes it. Your style then adds a different dimension.
I think your narrative drives this so brilliantly. I was that engaged, I was at the ‘throws of a tantrum’ before I remembered I was here to review (and that doesn’t happen often). Impressive story

I love the line "What would you do if you were all along with everywhere to go?" THE WANDERER is a thought provoking read with vivid imagery of the world after the apocolypse. Your prose is very polished. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

I thought post-apocalyspe had been done to death, but you had to prove me wrong. You made this real, believable and like it could happen to any one of us. There were touches of "I Am Legend" toit, but overall this has a unique and distinctive style of its own.

I'll be backing this with pleasure.
Abi xxx

This is an interesting story. I used to work nights and when I drove home in the early morning my car would be the only one on the street some mornings - so your pitch about someone who was alone in his town popped out at me. He's a good character. You've obviously put a lot of thought into what it would feel like to be alone. Another strength is your writing style; it has a lonely quality about it; we can feel the anguish of always being alone. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

This is such a new and fresh take on the post-apocalypse story. I really enjoyed it, you really know how to set the mood and show us your remarkable imagination. The writing is tight and riveting, it made me want to keep reading. I'm not the greatest proofreader so I don't have any suggestions, I like to read from a readers point of view, and this one definitely satisfies. I'm curious enough to want to follow this to the end and see how it all evolves. Best of luck!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

David, your first chapter reads well. Smooth and well-written. Nothing to nitpick in that section.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Well crafted with superb pacing! Wonderful and I will be back for more! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

I was captivated by, not only well-drawn characters, but also the unique voices of every character.
I felt the intensity, the darkness, and the lack of mental escapism.
It is a wonderful story and I wish you all the best.
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Backed January 20.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Hi

I was recommended to read your book by my friend Tony Freeman - Life Bringer.

I agreed with his comments and I am happy to back your book.

Adrian
Jack and Boots.

I'll come back at the end of Feb and try to make some useful comments. But for now, shelved.
Best wishes
Sue

I liked sci-fi so this is my type of book. I read the pitch and it reminded me of ‘I am Legend’ but I was sure it would have a new twist and I was eager to read.
I read a few chapters and could feel the anguish in this boy who had survived when most had not. I am not sure many would remain sane if left on their own with only the dead for company. I would like to read more and I will leave a note in my spreadsheet. From what I have read I am happy to back. It is well thought out and an enjoyable read.

Tony
Life Bringer

Very good pitch and moody opening, weaving the sense of hopelessness. I read the beginning and skipped into it. This may seem strange and difficult to do with one character but I'd like to see a little dialogue for variety. Maybe talking out loud to himself. In Chapter 10 for example, why couldn't he shout at the dog? Just a thought. It is very well done and I'm happy to back it.

I love this story because it brings to light so many things taken for granted by us everyday. After 6 chapters I know that I can back this book confidently and look forward to reading the rest in the ensuing days. Best of luck!

Aaron,

"80 Grit"

Hello David - you claim only to be an amateur writer (aren't we all) but your prose reads fluently, with no awkwardness or repetition. There's a good premise here, and the story-world you've created is intriguing. Your powers of description are excellent, and you make good use of them, but I think you perhaps have a tendency to overdo it - particularly so early on in the narrative - lots of description can make the narrative ponderous - and I think you almost get away with it because your ability to hold reader interest with your observation is strong - but my suggestion would be to move the action a little bit, get on with the story until you've hooked the reader. The most interesting bits here are when the hero is actually doing stuff - I find that observation through action is more propulsive that static description.

In a similar vein I'd also encourage you to be less evasive about what's actually happened - we get hints - but it such a good idea I'd be tempted to get the situation right out on the table as early as possible - I think you'll find it won't lessen intrigue, but increase it. You don't want to lose your reader before he gets to see the good stuff.

The only other observation I want to make is that the POV is very close inside the MC's head and this works very well, but there's one point in the first chapter when the narrative starts referring to him as 'the boy' - which pushed me out of his POV, and created distance - I'd suggest keeping it tight.

Anyway, well done - enjoyed this, and with your obvious writing talents I can't believe you won't make something of it. Good luck.

As you move forward with this be more attentive to cadence. This is very dark material rendered even more so with a preponderance of down beats. The effect is to make the reading feel like slogging through a tar pit. I lighter touch would render it all the more ironic.

Very well-written, and much of the imagery and atmosphere is spot-on. In fact, some of the 'darker' imagery is conjured-up *too* well! :D Great work. :)

enjoyed the read

David, your strong cover attracted me to this book, but having read eight chapters without pause I only wish I'd seen it earlier. The post-apocalyptic world, with a single survivor, is hardly a new premise, but you bring a fresh realism to the story with finely-honed prose and some outstandingly rich imagery.
It's very far removed from a fast-paced thriller - you'll have to wait for Hollywood to come calling for that - but there's such depth to the writing, fuelled by a remarkable imagination, that the patient, languid style you chose comes into its own. It's a mournful, contemplative story, by its very nature, but without descending into hopelessness.
There's work to be done here. It could be tighter in places for instance as the excellence of your descriptions can occasionally lead to excess, but I'm very impressed with this. I'd happily read it all and the quality of the writing is exceptional.
Backed with admiration. When it appears in print, I'll buy this.
Jared.

Hi David, The details of this survival could immerse me and many of them, the electricity gone, made me curious about a plague that could destroy so much. The thoughts on horror and then the disease's similarities to traditional images of horror made me wonder about the origin of horror imagery. Although I was impatient to know about the disease and its first appearance, the realities and demise that sickness brings, at this level, are well imagined. There is some excellent writing here! Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Very enjoyable. I was sorry for it to end.

A couple of thoughts; no people means plenty of supplies such as batteries, flashlights, propane camping stoves for a warm meal... I live on the west coast now so I don't have the pleasure of snow anymore but with the way he's described, wandering from house to house always a different one, but in the same city, middle of winter, but never a fire, seems like could use some tightening up as I'd think that he'd want to "nest" and really hunker down in winter especially. Then again the title is the "Wanderer".

I can't wait to read more once posted.

A very well written book. Although your plot is not totally original, your approach is. You write from inside the head of one boy, and we only gradually become aware of the details of what has happened, as the boy thinks about them. Your imagination triumphs on every page. 'Houses with the blinds or curtains drawn had a much higher percentage of housing the resting dead,' for instance. And 'At windows he saw young vampires baring their unnaturally elongated fangs.' Your style, which is natural and easy to read, carries the reader along at a fast moving pace. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Can't find anything to criticise here, David. Very competently written, engaging story (loved the sideswipes at Stephen King!).

Shelved

Keefie
Tybalt & Theo

The pitch will get them for sure David. I love 'after the plague, bomb, asteroid, whatever' books. Darn well done. What I read show excellent writing ability and a cool plot to use it on. I'll back it for sure.
Oh, you've got 'things' twice pretty close together in the first paragraph. No big deal but I'd replace one of them;
On my shelf and the best of luck with it, David.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

David
Just read several chapters and then chapter 10. Altogether enjoyable, and I think you have the general feel down to a fine art. He really does portray someone completely alone, apart from the mad dog on 10! Interesting work, certainly well written. Backed as you know
Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

Hi David,

This story is downright scary, but then again it's supposed to be. You've developed an eerie tale with a very strong MC. Your writing is smooth and very easy to read. Good description. Backed 100%!!!!

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Truly disturbing and unsettling, yet completely riveting. A strong premise about a boy who is unequipped in practical matters (learning by reading how-to books, I can relate) and struggles to survive in a collapsed world, the Bubonic Plague in the 21st century? You are smart to keep the country, the locale, even the boy and his family nameless - despite my own inclination to do so - this device works, making it plausible to the reader that it could happen in HIS/HER own place. I cannot forget the scene where he has to bury his own family, and the hopeless turning back from the hospital, the reader knowing as well as the parents its already a lost cause.

I echo what other reviewers say about a careful trimming end polishing. Your prose is sensitive but not sentimental. The only personal observation I have is about the boy not knowing how his father needed him (chapter 6) in that time - this breaks the evocative spell you have created for me at that point. True, but the "ominipotent narrator" intruding to make a commentary was jarring for me. Best to have left it alone where the boys just sulks away, unsure what do - more impacting and realistic, trust the reader to understand the boy and empathize with the father.

A deeply impacting and sensitive work, hope this makes it to ED soon!

Terrfic novel..Congratulations...Shelved
to read some more later.
All the best .......................mikey The Free

David,
Great premiss, and good writing. I do agree with Sue(LittleDevil), that sometimes less is more.
I, like many in here am, guilty of the same tendancy to overwrite.
Will add to my shelf. This is my kind of book, I wish I had time to read the whole thing.
Good luck,
MickR - The Nightcrawler

I like this very much, very well written and entirely believable so far (end of chapter one). I've bonded with this boy and wish him well. The horror and the lonliness he faces come through excellently. Backed with pleasure
BADD

I'm enjoying the read. I half expected Stephen King's THE STAND when I read your pitch. This is different, not as good, but more intimate. With some cutting and slicing it could be a major book. Backed. Good luck!
Barbara Silkstone

Hi David, I liked this a lot, but I thought it was a bit slow to get going. I’ve made a couple of suggestions below which if followed all the way through would tighten up the writing and keep the momentum.

Rather than say ‘He was paler than alabaster’ would it be better to incorporate it into the previous sentence?

Pallid skin, paler than alabaster stretched tightly around his skull.

Watch out for overwriting. ....striking blue (irises of the) eyes; (they were) the only things that still retained some vibrancy, (some) youthfulness.

If you read the sentence omitting the words in brackets and find you haven’t lost anything, then you probably don’t need them.

Please feel free to ignore everything I say. I’m just another amateur writer trying to offer suggestions to improve. But of course, it’s your book and your style. You choose
Backed with pleasure
Sue
A Boy Called George

You've captured the feelings of isolation and despair very well and you write fluently. I'm just a little bothered about the length. I like the detail, but I feel some of it could go without spoiling the whole effect.
It will be interesting to see where you take this.
Backed for its potential.

Very powerful writing. You have successfully created a world of isolation in the actions and thoughts of a believable and accessible character :)

Backed
David :)

This reads a little like the "Postman" the Kevin Costner film that was made in the late 1990s. At least, that's the image I got when I started reading. "Pallid skin was stretched tightly around his skull." I wonder how he could pull lightly at such stretched skin. Sounds a little like the head of a drum. Anyway, you set the scene quite well. It's pretty clear by the second paragraph that both the man and his surroundings have seen better days. The description of getting the toothpaste and brush from the store reminded me of the late 1950s movie with Harry Belafonte(?) and Inger Stevens after a nuclear holocaust. They both wander around New York thinking everyone else is dead. They use all products, etc. and then find each other. Life was relatively OK after that until a white man arrives on a boat. The interracial aspects of a relationship between Inger and Harry suddenly are brought to light. It was an interesting film made just before the Civil Rights movement was able to gain National prominence.

I love the line, "He had gotten this far and now there was plenty of time for reading those books." The eternal optimist. Overall, I would like to see this move a little more swiftly, you have a tendency to repeat the fact that he and the surroundings are not what they once were. I understand, though, you enjoy providing a lot of detail. It does make a clear picture for the reader. It reminds me of reading Balzac. That's not bad, in fact, that's great. I loved reading a dozen or more of his novels in his huge "Human Comedy" collection. I'm no critic, we all have our own style and none of us know what will be popular. I like this, it gives me some good images and some memories of earlier works I have read or have seen on film, so you are shelved. I wish you the best of luck with this.

Apocalyptic stories are really a genre that gets my interest. It's all so wonderously "what if". The possibilities are endless, and you've ceertainly exploited your version very well. I agree with a previous commentor that you leave it a bit late to bring in the girl - 21 chapters can be a long wait for what must come if there is to be any kind of happy ending. Still, very well told, descriptive and the boy's thoughts make him into a truly three dimensional character. My one criticism is that maybe you could pick up the pace a little. Otherwise a great read.

On my watch list.

Nicholas ("The Warlock") - Horror/Thriller

The website is acting up this afternoon so I will SHELVE you for now and circle back when I can actually read what you wrote. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A great start to what I think will be a hrilling story. I might say that the chapter is a little long but it brings the reader into a story of desolation, wondering what happens next. I will back this as I feel a different book starting, a story I will want to read. Have a look at my book, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story. Different to yours but then we can't all write the same things. JohnJ

You take a long time to get to where the boy meets the girl. I suppose this is so the reader get's a feeling for how the boy has suffered but I think you ,anage that within the first three chapters and could cut some of this down to add pace. Also it would be good to hear the boys name, which would allow the reader to build a better repose and sympathy. Still this is enjoyable and reminds me of my favourite book, The Day of The Triffids so I will happily shelf it.