Genocide

Neat cover,

Regards,
Rian Torr
New London Masquerade

I really liked what I've read so far. It has a very strong opening, really pulls the reader in. At least it pulled me in. What little I've had the chance to read is very good, I'll read more as soon as I can. Good Luck!

Roy Earle, "Bad Men and Bad Odds"

Hello Adam,

The premise and story may have some merit but it reads like a stilted documentary. There's sufficient description for settings but minimal for characters. You do nothing to endear any character to the reader. The fragmentation and numbers of characters makes the reader feel a bit confused. It reads rather like a check list of terse sentences. A bit more dialogue could help and that that you have could do with a touch of realism. The PM scene sounded too contrived and unrealistic. The expression "First thing is first" should be "First things first". Try to limit your use of the word "of" - especially avoid dangling it at the end of a sentence.
I hope my comments are helpful and hope that you will look at my "Accident" and/or "Torpedoed" and rate/comment/back one or both. Thanks.
Best wishes, Charles (Mach100)

I have to say that from your pitch I thought that this book was going to be sort of typical for its genre - I've read stuff like this before. But you know, I'll read on. The book has been sitting on my WL for so long I finally decided to have a go at it.

When I started reading however - though your language is not overly descriptive - I could picture everything that you described. You pack a punch with the words that you do choose to use and that is a talent in and of itself. I had no problem picturing everything you described...

As I kept reading I was at first bothered by the small snippets - they way the book cuts from scene to scene - from perspective to perspective - almost as if this is a screenplay rather than a novel. At first I felt like you should flesh out each on of these sections a bit and make them all longer. Then it sort of grew on me and made me think that this made your novel and your writing style unique. So I guess it could go either way.

Not sure if you meant this or not but every time I read Alan's last name it kept looking like "Hitler" to me - if this was your intention - it works. If not, you might want to reconsider his last name because it definitely colored my perspective of the character.

The best compliment I can give you is that I think I would read on and on and on.

All the best,

Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Mr Shiels

I am finally here after far too long a wait. Apologies.

Right, Genocide. Nice name, nice cover, nice blurb. Short and succinct.

My observations, which you can ignore if you like obviously.

You have a fair few ‘that’’s which I stumbled over. Personally, I think they can make sentences feel clunky if they’re not needed and I do think you could strike out some. The first scene with David and co, you used ‘without warning’ in succession when the hand of the mystery assailant grabbed them. Not a biggie but it stood out to me a little. The intro is good in cinematic terms – it’s a great opening but I do think some of the wording gets in the way of the flow of things (that and however were ones that stood out for me).

I did find the flurry of new characters in the opening day/night (?) a bit confusing, though I liked having their own aspects and wondering how this would all tie together. I did find myself wondering if the genetically modified children would really be put into care – I guess I’m so conditioned to Hollywood movies I’d expect them to be kept in some kind of facility or even killed.

I read up to chapter 3 and I liked the action. There’s a lot of it. The switch in characters worked though it did leave me feeling a little dizzy in places. In terms of a story line, I like the premise of this. I would have liked a little more dialogue in places as it did sometimes feel like the description took over but on the whole, I enjoyed the read.

Sorry it took me so long :(

Silva
x

As promised, on my shelf for a few days....good luck to you!

Justis Call
Snow Bound

Only got about halfway through the first chapter. I like the short sections. I like the scene with the homeless men.

Just read the first chapter, will read on, im behind so I'm bouncing between stories. This is how horror is suppose to be written in my opinion. You didnt waste any time, straight out the gate killing folks, it is a great attention grabber and it keeps the reader interested and on the edge of their seat. I actually love how you have the chapter segmented into different parts vs trying to thread them to gether through the narration, I think that would lose tthe reader. The writing was easy to follow. I would love to see this book go to the Editor's Desk. Have fun.

Really enjoying reading this! Lots of stars and put it on WL. I will come back to read more when I've got a minute.

Only one thing so far, if the three characters in the opening are all killed in the first few minutes, do we need their surnames? I'd committed them in my head and then found I wasn't going to keep hold of them anyway.

M
x

Only two chapters in and I am enthralled by the suspense, the action, the questions, the over-arching psychological thriller that is being developed here. Excellent pace, great characterizations. "Alan Hitler" is a fascinating name attached to the character who first created ~ and is now intending to stop ~ the evil he unleashed on the world. I will absolutely purchase this book upon publication!

Excellent work - I have splashed stars all around and will find a spot on my shelf down the road a bit!
Justis Call
Snow Bound

I was attracted to the short pitch so I put it on my shelf until I had time to get round to readng it.

On the plus side, this is a good story with all the elements to make it a good read.

On the down side, there are a lot of issues with this story that need working through. I started making a list and then stopped when I realised that the comments you've already received pretty much cover it. I still can't work out why you haven't fixed these yet seeing as your book's been here since Jan 2010 and is still rising - which isn't a criticism as you're still getting support even though it could be tidied up. to make it better.

Good luck with getting it sorted.

"Alan Hilter," interesting character name, fast moving, keeps interest high, all in all an excellent work, I enjoyed the read. Thanks. Chuck

i came across this because I have been in Ediburgh recently and looked forward to a novel set there. You have an intricate and interesting plot with plenty of dark elements.

You could improve the readability by presenting the story through fewer eyes. If we could stay wit David more,for instance and experience the weird happenings only from his perspective until the scene changs, that would be stronger and you could drop a few 'David whispered' etc

You clearly have an inventive mind and it will be good to see where this novel goes. Good luck bACKED.

Lara
GOOD FOR HIM

strangely i was put off by the sentence about the sea being practically alive- just no flow here in this opening paragraph a bit wooden-as though the scene is not real-after that things warm up but I am still unconvinced in places-looking at your it pitch seems you are going for the jugular and i figure why not-best wishes
richard

A powerful opening - you really aim to hit the reader in the face with this one. I will read more after I have nursed my eye.

Pete

Hello Adam,
I really enjoyed the first chapter of Genocide. You can hear your voice coming through your storytelling . With that said i think you need to work on a few things here.
In the first few chapters you repeat 'Without warning" a few too many times. Show, not tell us whats happening.
You also must decide what tense you wish to use Past or Present. This will keep the pace of the story.
Work with your descriptive force. you paint a good picture of the surroundings, use that same talent in the action or interaction between characters. i like this type of story and hope it does well.
JJ Marro

Best first chapter ive read in ages. Flows well, and so much action its jumping off the page. Fantastic.

Effectively descriptive.

after reading the pitch i made Necrotic Prayers For Genocide and formed a Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation.

after reading the pitch i made Necrotic Prayers For Genocide and formed a Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation.

Chapter 1

The first day was actually a lot of good action. However, I thought it was a little too much for a beginning of the book. I think I rather get to know the characters first before I see them in full action (but I still liked the first day). Maybe just trim it a little.

I love the Jack's Residence part. Kind of creepy. Now that makes me want to read on. At Thorn Residence now I'm thinking how you are going to connect your characters. Right as I thought that you have the police station section. HA!

Across The Street: Yup, Jack is the one pulling the beginning. But because of him, it will make Catherine's part more interesting. Perfect!

I like Alan. Now he is the one responsible. I think you have a talent to pull readers in. Now I want to see what happens. Who helps out who and what happens.

Would you like to do chapter by chapter reads?

Awesome. My kind of story. 6 Stars for you!

Genocide is a thriller type of sci-fi book, with a great premise and plenty of action. The whole virus type of war reminded me of World War Z in places, a book I liked very much.

Author Adam Shiels sort of combines a couple different types of sci-fi staples to create Genocide, and the effect is a style and a genre all his own. The good thing is that there is something for everyone here. Readers will find parallels to all their favorite sci-fi novels, but not so much that they will think that Genocide is ripping those books off.

There are thrills in just about every chapter posted, and readers will keep turning pages as the mystery unfolds. I see no reason why Genocide could not thrill a lot of sci-fi readers once published and I look forward to seeing how things turn out in the story.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Great premise that may intrigue almost everybody. Language of narrative and description of characters is excellent. It looks as if you have a perfect visualization of the events described. This must reach the market.
With best wishes.
Ajay

oh, by the way, i forgot to promote myself. please give my book a read if you get a spare 5 mins (which is hard in these times we live in.)
thanks
DML
its called CATS TALES

This grabs you, excellent stuff and i like the whole three days later thing too. great writing, reminds me of some of my stuff too, hmmmm . . .well done 5 stars
DML

I like your premise and I like the images you create for the reader. There are a few times when you lose the intensity slightly because sentences are lengthy. This is a minor point but I'd suggest sometimes using two short, sharp sentences and removing the one or two commas you have within one sentence. Look out for tense in a couple of places in the first few chapters too but I would say these nitpicks are very subjective and you may feel they do not help. Often tense changes are purposeful and theymay bne in this case.

Overall, I really like your work so best of luck with it. I have star rated for now.

Laura
Beneath The Blossom Tree

Adam,
I read your first two chapters and liked the plot. The action really kept me moving forward. At times though the wording/sentences just seemed a little off, like what was said could have been said in fewer words. The first time it really struck home was the description of the windpipe being grasped/removed, yikes.
I couldn't figure out exactly how to explain the other instances so I Iooked back to see if anyone else had the same feeling while reading and saw that Tyson made the point better than I ever could have.
You have a great premise and plot, would reallly shine with a little trimming.
Just my opinion as a reader and want to be writer.
Best
Bill Scott
Haktaw Heart

Here are some things I noted; areas you may want to revise. However, it's mostly my opions, so take what you want and leave the rest, it is your story. I hope it's helpful.

Inside the building he'd been headed to, his two companions stood up hearing the screaming. Even over the wind they could hear it.

I don't think that first part is neccessary. It was stated earlier that his friends were there and that's where he's going, so it's a bit repetitive. How about:
His two companions stood, hearing his terrifying screams over the howling wind.
Or something like that. Maybe add something about the look on their faces.

Unfortunately there's no copy/paste feature on this page (also a good thing) so I'll just write the next sentence as I think it should be rearranged.

In her dream, she was reliving the events that led to her husband's death; only her dream was playing the events out of sequence and missing certain things altogether. (OR leaving certain things out all together.)

"Can I help you?" Catherine asked, when the woman was close enough.

"I'm not asking for much, Mrs. Thorn..."
There should be a comma here, because Mrs. Thorn is being addressed.

I noticed the other creation wasn't named in this first chapter. I look forward to reading more to find out who it is. :) I really enjoyed reading your opening here. It's face paced, quite vivid (I was almost squeamish at that first scene :D), and you've got good characters. It seemed like a lot of characters, but I was able to keep up. I admire your picturesque imagination. I think this will hook your target audience. Good luck with this.

God bless,
Trista Herring-Baughman
The Magic Telescope and other stories

Hi Adam-Couple of things in my unpublished opinion-the first part of C1 you use the term 'the figure' way too often. Maybe try man, stranger, phantom-like, etc. Otherwise, loved the section. It had an 'edge of your seat' quality about it. The rest of the chapter was divided into too many sections and too many characters. For me, it was too soon to introduce all of your subplots. Overall, I really like your story, the most important part! Great imagination. You write with clarity and make it easy for the reader to follow.
Dina of Halo of the Damned and Last Degree

Hi Adam,

I've really enjoyed what little I've read so far of your novel. Your first few paragraphs set the scene vividly - I could hear the crashing waves, feel the wind whipping around me and instantly I was there in the story. Your vocabulary, sentence structure, pace and form are perfect for the genre.

And then the action starts. I couldn't take my eyes from the page. This early in the story the reader doesn't need a plot. They don't need to know why this monster is attacking the men, just fascinated to hear how he does it. Then when they are engaged you begin to build in details, introduce protagonists, and get the narrative underway. A very well-constructed story.

All the best,
MK

Adam, I seemed to have skipped past you for some reason. I apologize. Here are my thoughts on your novel:

I think the cover do the job. They really do represent the genres of your book.

The short pitch doesn’t really tell me what is going on. I wanted a nice snappy one or two liner that encompasses the book and gives me an idea of what it is about. This sort of covers so many different areas. I
think it needs to be simplified.

Long Pitch: same issue with the Short pitch. You also don’t introduce us to any characters...is there an MC, what’s the hurtle they need to get past, what’s the challenges throughout. These are things I want to see in a Long Pitch, so that I know what I am going into. Right now as I move onto chapter one I am going blindly. I don’t like that.

Chapter One:

You start with the weather. Did you know this is the most common way to start a manuscript? I used to follow a couple agents on Twitter and they said if they saw a beginning that started with the reader they often rejected it automatically. Ouch, right? Just keep this in mind. You don’t want an overdone beginning.

I have an issue with the first three sentences. They all start with ‘the’. Why?

Inside of the remains of one of the buildings—remove the first ‘of’—Inside the remains of one of the
buildings...Three ‘of’ in one sentence. Seems a bit much.

...huddled up in blankets...-huddled in blankets...-no need for ‘up’. It’s pruning these small words that will
make your narrative flow better.

Noticed a few unnecessary ‘that’s, so I did a quick search. Most people aren’t aware of the word ‘that’ in their manuscript. Often it’s written down but complete unneeded. If you remove them, it doesn’t even affect the sentence.

Here are some examples in your first chapter:

...towards the building that his two companions...—towards the building his two companions

...the large bottle that he was carrying...—the large bottle he was carrying

...the building that he had been heading to...—the building he had been heading to...

...as it carried Ben towards the metal railings that ran along the...—as it carried Ben towards the metal railings
running along the...

...was satisfied that he was dead...—was satisfied he was dead.

...had something that it needed to do.—had something it needed to do.

...he knew that if what he believed...—he knew if what he believed...

...newspaper that Alan Hitler had been...—newspaper Alan Hitler had been...

...the story that interested him that much...—the story that interested him much though...

...the picture that she was upset from the death...—the picture she was upset from...

...she was reliving the events that had led to her...—she was reliving the events leading to her...

...the next thing that she saw was...—the next thing she saw was...

...saying that he had enough of his...—saying he had enough of his own...

...have meant that Frank would still...—have meant Frank would still...

...was Catherine that he was interested in. –was Catherine he was interested in.

...three possible addresses that it could be. –three possible addresses it could be.

...possible newspaper that he could get...—possible newspaper he could get...

I am going to stop there...I couldn’t do them all. There are too many. You should really do a search on this word and see how many are hanging out in your whole novel. In this chapter alone there are 44. You have 11 chapters posted...if you have that many in each chapter you have 444!

Something else I noticed as I read was the amount of ‘was’ in your script. Have you ever done a search on this? When you use ‘was’ it makes the script feel passive. As a writer you should strive to eradicate any of these pesky words in order to create a more active script, and also a more fluid narrative.

Here are some examples from chapter one where you can rework to exclude ‘was:

The sea was practically alive as it crashed...—The sea practically felt alive as it crashed

...the large bottle that he was carrying...—the large bottle he carried.

Standing in front of him was a man. – In front of him, a man stood.

...wore black overalls, its skin was deathly pale, tainted orange...—wore black overalls, its skin deathly pale,
tainted orange...

...then the figure’s face was exposed entirely by the streetlight. – then the streetlight exposed the figure’s face
entirely.

The sound was carried by the wind as the...—The sound carried on the wind as the storm increased.

The rain was now lashing down. –The rain now lashed down.

His face was covered in blood and he was holding his hands out for help. –Blood covered his face and he
held his hands out for help.

Stuart was about to answer when...—Stuart opened his mouth to answer when a pair of hands reached round
from behind him.

...from the spot he was standing on. –from the spot he stood.

...and he was quickly forced under the...—and they quickly forced him under the surface.

...and he was back under again in a matter of seconds. –and slipped back under in a matter of seconds.

...the look in her eyes was one of determination and strength. – determination and strength shone in her eyes.

She was drenched in sweat and the sheets...—Sweat drenched her and the sheets lay in a heap on the floor.

...she was reliving the events leading to her husband’s death...—she relived the events leading to her
husband’s death.

...only her dream was playing the events...—only her dream played the events out of sequence...

...her husband was fighting with the killer. –her husband fought/battled with the killer.

...was sitting at his desk...---sat at his desk staring into space.

He wasn’t normally at work this late...—He didn’t normally stay at work this late...

Catherine Thorn was walking down the street...—Catherine Thorn walked down the street, lost in thought.

She was wearing a navy suit...—She wore a navy suit...

Okay. I am going to stop here with the ‘was’ issue. I think you see what I mean. In the first chapter alone there is an abundance that can be changed to make your work more active. Watch ‘was’ and gerunds. I think your work would really benefit on an edit of these.

Some other random notes as I read:

...tainted orange by the light. – Word choice? Tainted or tinted?

....when a pair of hands reached round from behind him. – Awkward. How about:...when a pair of hands reached around him from behind.

Also, you flip to Ben’s POV right after this. Are you intentionally trying to write from the omnipresent POV? Or no? Switching POV in the middle of a sentence is a bit...unusual.

It was his garage. –Why not combine this with the pervious sentence: Opening it, he entered into the dark garage on the other side.

Not sure how I feel about the story. I like the first part with the homeless and the figure, but I felt you lost me with the jumping around thereafter.

It’s almost as though there is too much going on for me in the first chapter.

Of course, I don’t read sci-fi, but maybe this multi POV is normal for the genre? Not sure.

Straight away, I think this needs an edit for the pesky ‘that’ and ‘was’ words I mentioned before.

I’d also look into weeding out words not needed. After the first chapter I don’t feel invested in any of the characters really. That’s a bit of a problem for me, because I really look forward to stories driven by their characters. I am wondering if this is plot driven. If so, I don’t have enough sense of what is going on to be
invested in this story.

Hopefully some of my comments have been helpful.

Good Luck with this.

T.L Tyson- The Reign of Billie Blackwater.

Adam,
Genocide is a truly terrifying book. Your lusciously detailed descriptions are a pleasure to review and I love all the headings guiding the reader through the various scenes. It's a believable story of the unthinkable. While I seldom read science fiction, your writing style creates a riveting narrative filled with suspense.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

"The rain clouds rolled across the dark night sky" Was that a clever update of "It was a dark and stormy night?"
Pleased don't take offence but it looks deliberate.

I am way outside my genre preference and came here from The Pat Black thread.
There are a few issues with sentence structure eg. In the middle of the stone floor a fire crackled giving off some heat, but not much." "David Ford staggered towards the building that his two friends were inside of."
Then some tense and Pov issues "Shit he muttered under his breath. Nothing ever went right for him. Perhaps "Shit" he muttered under his breath cursing his bad luck, or if the emphasis is on his ongoing situation 'cursing his run of bad luck'.
You appear to have the story down but this needs a really good sweep for phrasing in my view, which is that of an unpublished writer with fewer shelves than you so please feel free to totally ignore this feedback.
Norton

Adam,

“Genocide,” is in my preferred genre so it was a treat for me to read. Good opening paragraph which brings us forth into the action, loved the phrase “the sea was practically alive.”

Overall, your book is wonderfully dark and atmospheric with a fast pace and a good clean writing style which makes it easy to imagine the various characters interact in your collection of scenes.

I’m happy to back once shelf space opens up.

Jaen Wirefly
Glimmers

This is a wonderful book. You have a very unique style and you capture the reader's attention from the beginning.

GENOCIDE

COVER: I like it. I wish the font wasn't so Ariel bland but the image is decent and overall it works for Authonomy.

TITLE: Its good and extreme...part of me wishes it were more pointed... such as Genocidal Tendencies heh.

SHORT PITCH: Pretty good but it all has a slightly generic feel to it and rather than making me interested in going further, it has me thinking of skimming through google news items.

LONG PITCH: Part of me thinks you should find a way to pare this down and use it for the short pitch, then expand on the bullet points for a better/longer long pitch. This is good but felt a little skimpy.

TEXT: the the the...for the first paragraph, has me thinking of that band from the 90s. 12 in the first 2 paragraphs alone. and twice used "flickering street lamp" It all may be fine to some readers and please just ignore me heh but those items did give me pause as I read. Good atmosphere built...the pop into life dark eyed daunting figure...I like it. Killing off the homeless...so cruel of you. heh. Hm well, I'm not sure this isn't a bit too jumpy. I like the device to aid in getting a feel for all the main players quickly but its almost...too much of it. The premise is fun and I like the plots you've begun, quickly engaging me to the story...works well for a thriller. I hope you won't take offense, as I certainly mean to be helpful and this is only one persons response but it all feels a little "haven't I seen this story before" Black eyed zombies... Mad scientist wanting to fix humanity goes wrong and unleashes a virus... opening with killing off the homeless because somehow that's easier to take, easier prey, etc... The hints at a secret govt might make this slightly different...but so far it reads a bit like a pastiche of X-file episodes. Again...really sorry and don't mean to be harsh but I think its what makes this site worthwhile when people read and offer honest, and hopefully helpful... opinions. I think your writing has real merit...it felt v cinematic, fun to see something like this set in Scotland and if given a bit more of the unusual... I think it could sing.

Best of luck with your work Adam.
Best,
-=Bradley

Backed Genocide. Wow! Intorduction got our attention. Read like opening to a Scifi flick. Good job.
CC Brown

Genocide was recommended by CC Brown author of Dark Side. I read, rated, and BACKED your work. Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side and find a place for it on your shelf. Thanks.
Sue50

Excellent pace; punchy prose and a good "global" feel to your crisis, even though you use very familiar places in Scotland to begin with. Your supernatural-seeming killer of the homeless was scary, and just vague enough to be intriguing for us to begin with. Is his killing of the homeless connected to the spread of the virus, we wonder? And what is the doctor's role in the unfurling disaster?

I was also pulled in by the pitch - plenty of food for thought in what you describe. Shadowy leagues hidden from the world, a weakening planet scarred by a war for control... There may be signs of this in our own world, with weather systems going mad and wars already fought over a dwindling resource. This was fine work, and recalls some of the epic horror of the 1980s from Stephen King and James Herbert - down-home thrills with a touch of the apocalypse. A fine read - I'll be plugging this.

P

Adam, I just enjoyed these 2 (long) pages. I was gripped from the start. I did feel lacking for a character, any character, good or bad, I wanted to root for someone, and I didn't, but maybe that's just me. Love the atmospheric feel.

Starred and on w/l - backed in a few days.

Appreciate your views (stars if you feel i'm worthy) on what I've got.

Daniel.

The DEAD Bloc.

This is great! It kept my attention but I do think the chapters are a little too long. There's the correct amount of tension in this novel that makes me want to know what will happen next. I'll back your story when I have room on my shelf.

Good stuff! I just perused the first two chapters, and I'm already hooked. Powerful writing. Just keep plugging on with the spot editing, tightening, etc. A good tip from my (former) city desk editor - if you tend to overwrite, or need to cut for space, always look at the end of sentences, end of paragraphs, last paragraph of story or chapter to cut. Chances are, you've already made your point. Keep writing! You have talent!

One other brief note: you should consider breaking Chapter One down into probably three different chapters. Makes it easier for readers to navigate the page when going back and forth from the text to the comment box.

I've read the first section entitled "September in the Near Future" and have skimmed over the remainder of chapter one to get a feel for the structure. I must say I like how this book is put together, with location and time indicators, jumping quickly from one scene to another. This can give a journal-type feel (like Bram Stoker's Dracula) which I enjoy quite a bit.

Atmospherically, Genocide is spot-on. You have excellent descriptive abilities, and I can place myself in the scene easily - or rather I am drawn into the scene, as it is a place I would only want to observe from a distance.

My only suggestion for improvement is this: read through and start trimming it up a bit. Often in the redrafting process it becomes difficult to spot words and passages that aren't necessary, simply because you've read over the manuscript so many times. I took your first couple of paragraphs and edited/reworded to give you an example of how to make your prose more compact in some places:

The sea looked alive as it crashed against the stonewall of the harbour, spraying salt water over the railings. Rainclouds rolled against the dark night sky. Wind hammered the desolate buildings across the pier, where a flickering streetlamp shone its orange glow. Once home to successful businesses, these buildings now lay empty and at the mercy of the elements

Inside the remains of a building, Stuart White and Ben Crow, both men filthy and unshaven, sat huddled up in blankets over a small crackling fire. Outside, David Ford staggered against the wind towards the building. He stopped to take a drink from a large bottle and a strong gust of wind hit him. The bottle shattered on the pavement, the contents spilling into the gutter.

That's all for now. I'm enjoying this very much. There aren't very many books on Authonomy that succeed on an atmospheric level, but this has a nice creepy feel to it. Like when I was thirteen years old and played the video game Resident Evil for the first time. I'll get back to you when I've read more.

Winston

I love books where the action scenes switch back and forth. This adds intensity and urgency. That's what makes a page-turning novel effective.

Leonard D. Hilley II
Predators of Darkness

Good, tense situation, but I think this needs to be edited for point-of-view. Currently, we're not following any one character in particular, we're in no one's head, and that gives the text a distant quality

A chilling story for SF fans. I'm not sure about the need for all the info in authonomy Chapter 1. Personally I found it a bit off-putting. If you really need it would it not be better as the final Autho chapter?

This is an imaginative story. You might want to think about polishing some of the text to achieve a smoother flow to the prose. e.g. try deleting some of the unnecessary "that"s.

J.S.Watts
A Darker Moon

(I posted this in the 'Recommend a Manuscript forum, I'll paste it here...)

Although horror / sci-fi is not my favourite of genres I really enjoyed 'Genocide' by Adam Shiels.

A story of an apocalyptic world that is being overrun with a virus that has no cure, a battle between mankind and the Reaven (effectively vampires, however this is certainly not a vampire story) conspiracies within Governments desperately trying to hold onto power and many more interesting aspects.

This may only really be enjoyed by fans of the genre as it is focused on exciting action and less so on dialogue or character driven storylines. Saying that the characters in the story are easy to relate to and it's very easy to get caught up within the story.

With the author's disturbing voice it is one of those books that as you read you can easily imagine it being played out scene by scene on the cinema screen. Very easy to read and very enjoyable.

The first page also notes that there is effectively a prequel to 'Genocide' which I would be very interested in reading. Although as the author notes, that story does not need to be read to fully understand 'Genocide'.

The main thing, I was left wanting to read more, a very good sign!

Hi. I browsed through, that’s all the time Sci-Fi is not something I usually read but I had. I enjoyed your story enough to back it. If you would like a specific chapter critiqued, tell me which one and I’ll do my best.
Your comments and backing of my book will be appreciated.
Dan