The Savior's Flame

Hi Brad. I enjoyed reading your book. Could you please read mine (Fantastica - Short stories & poems by Andrea Lightfoot) and let me what you think? Thanks very much

Hi Brad, This really sets sail to a treacherous place. The depiction of Isador and Damien’s journey is intriguing and finally frightening. Leo and the riding of the falling stars is written with the same immediacy and his initiation gives more reader identification. I was drawn into this by the solid writing that established the setting. The circular city and Monfried’s teaching were vivid. You’ve presented your characters through their desires and given a familial plot of good and evil with strong and aptly rendered scenes. It’s easy to get involved here. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Brad,
This was a cool little story even though it is incomplete. Your writing is good and the story moves at a pretty good pace. They only thing that stands out is that Isidor and his brother take up the entire first chapter and then I don't hear anything about them until I think midway chapter four.

So it threw me because I thought I was reading about two brothers at some point in their teens then the next thing I know Isidor is an unlce. I would try to work on bridging that somehow either by saying 20 years later or maybe adding a couple chapters between 1-2 so you can develop the brothers.

I really pulled for them in chapter one and poof they vanish until four. Also you make Dameon out to be a sorcerer of evil and clarify later the reason but from a reader's standpoint am I supposed to root for a sorcerer of evil.

That might need to be clarified in the front chapters somewhere. So if you add two chapters in between 1-2 and reconcile those things it might help bridge the gaps. Outside of all that I think it has the making to be a great story.
Christopher
--Pen and Ink

Brad,

Enjoyed the couple chapters I read. As a middle school teacher I think my students who enjoy this genre would love this book. Best of luck with it. Backed.

DW (River Dream)

Brad,

You have here a very well written book, which I think the YA audience will be quite enthralled with. Your writing is that of a practiced author. There's a smoothness about your writing that suggests great talent and practice. I really have nothing to complain about. Normally I desire some sort of emotional connection to a character in the first chapter. I think it helps draw the reader in and give them a reason to keep reading. You didn't exactly have that, but the element of mystery regarding the tower, the purpose of the two boys, etc, I think is probably enough to keep readers engaged. :)

I just noticed Sandie's mention of the name "Isidor," and I actually had the same experience. In my mind, every time I read his name I thought "Isildor." You might consider changing the name, but I don't think it's too big of a deal.

Backed with pleasure. I wish you the best with this!
Alexis A. Hunter
(The Five Staffs of Meledari)

I enjoyed what I read of this. Your MC is believable and your dialogue flows well. A good start, (well, I would say that, wouldn't I?). This should do well here, Jim D Serpent's Blood

I love your title and the pitch is excellent. I started reading and immediately liked the name of Isidor, though couldn't help thinking of the character in Lord of the Rings - Isildor. The opening starts right into the action, brilliant, best way in my opinion and tells us what's happening really well. I also love the fact they're in the middle of a storm, I prefer reading about one to being in one. Excellent writing that draws you straight and is very easy to follow. Backed.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor