Taylor

I really liked your main character. Taylor has a strong voice that I think would definitely appeal to YA readers. Definitely needs another edit for punctuation, but really- there is always more editing that can be done LOL.

I'm not sure if I like the introduction though, it may just be personal taste but I found the perspective transition a bit jarring even so, I still think it was effective as setting the tone.

DJ, your first chapter reads smoothly. My little niece would totally enjoy your work. Nothing to nitpick there.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Many Thanks Frank
Will check out Sicillian Shadows when I get a chance this week.
DJ

Imaginative and exciting; lovely package.
Backed!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a read of your book.

DJ!
You are a tower of magic mind creative beauty.
This is a very very fun read.
You might do a bit of extra polishing and this will certainly do well.
I like your cover. If you'd want me to add a title let me know.
You might split your long pitch into shortr punchy paragraphs
Best of luck!!
-=Bradley

This is a very imaginative book. Tailland is a great invention. Taylor is a very believable character, and your style, coming in from the outside and then going inside Taylor's head (later doing the same thing with Natalia) brings both girls vividly to life. Taylor's thoughts as she looks at her reflection in the pond match Natalia's as she looks at herself in the mirror. You have a great deal of skill in description, bringing your various settings to life, first Taylor's world and then Natalia's house. The two girls are very different characters. Although Taylor is rather rough with her brother, Natalia is a very snobby, unpleasant girl. Their meeting will be very interesting to see. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Highly enjoyable and intersting read for your intended market.

With a strong MC in Taylor.

Smashing stuff.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

DJ
Taylor is a good strong character, one that I'm sure was a pleasure for you the writer to work with, and for me the reader to get to know better..

If I'm honest I think you have too much backdrop in your opening....It's well written, but not plot shifting, nor character profiling.....

this line is when I sat up :-
In a space with a pond is Taylor. She is looking at the fish. ......

My esteemed unpublished view only.

reminds her of the person that was there and then was gone. (I would try not to use 'was' twice in one line, chapter 3)......reminds her of the person who was there , then gone.

Perfect for the YA market....My 16 year old would gel with this...

Shelved with best wishes...

Taylor has a classic fantasy storyline of coming of age and embarking on a quest to face hidden dangers, but is distinctively set in the context of alternative worlds, which helps it to stand out in a competitive genre. I liked the presentation of Taylor and Natalia in their different perhaps parallel worlds and the contrasts this draws between their characters and the challenges they face. My only niggle is that by the time I got to C5 the alternating chapter on each was beginning to feel a bit formulaic, and I wonder if the two threads need to merge a little sooner.Overall though this should appeal to the YA market, so I'll be happy to back it.

The parallels between the girls and their narratives are intriguing. The tone is intriguing. It lets you know you're not in Kansas anymore, or anywhere else where the ordinary rules apply. Except, of course, those that drive good writing. Happy to put this on my shelf.

Two girls: alike but not alike; two aspects of the same persona. I like the dialogue, their thoughts written down, especially. Their uncertainty, fear of embarrasment (so impotant to young children!) is well portrayed, in language that is simple and effective. An exciting taster, promising of momentous thing to happen just over the page- I want to know what comes next.

Fast paced. Richly descriptive. Well written contrast in characters. Happy to back this book for its sheer imaginative force.

Interesting idea. Backed for ingenuity. Lisa

I'm enjoying your two parallel worlds and your poetic style of writing. It's quite pleasant. I'm happy to back this.
Sandy
Orphan and a Half (also with two parallel worlds that intersect)

Hi, This is a very quirky type of writing which is fast and funny at the same time. I love the paragraph with all the ' ands' starting Vases and ornaments - I wish I had written that. The fish paragraph is hilarious. I hope you do well with this book. Backed because it's worth it.
Mark
Another Day in Paradise