Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 10701
date submitted 13.01.2010
date updated 31.07.2011
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Popular Culture,...
classification: moderate
incomplete

The Silver Spoon Effect

Lionel Levy

Troy receives an email update about the search for his mother's killers. Shortly after, someone he hates commits suicide. Coincidence? It happens after every update.

 

At age fourteen, Troy leaves his Caribbean homeland after his mother is murdered. Catholic priest and mentor, Father Williams, has promised to do his best to find the killers.

While at university in Washington, DC, Troy encounters a hostile research assistant. Nevertheless, he does not expect the man to kill himself. And that's exactly what the assistant does, right after Father Williams emails Troy an update on the search for the killers. A pattern begins to form. Every time Father Williams emails Troy an update, someone commits suicide. Someone whom Troy hated. Troy is, without meaning to be, on a killing spree. Will anyone be able to stop him? Does he want them to?

My novel is complete. The first chapter is on display.

Sincere thanks to everyone who supported my work and/or gave constructive critiques.

Best Regards,

Lionel

 
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tags

assassination, barbados, caribbean, catholic church, cricket, dc, dominica, drugs, england, fiction, hemingway, horror, hypnosis, jean rhys, mancheste...

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736 comments

 

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Dogs howling under a full moon meant someone was going to die soon.  Thats what her mama used to say.  Barbara yawned and wondered just how many stray dogs roamed the village at night.  They were disturbing her good sleep with their half-minute howls.  She scratched a mosquito bite on her neck and tried to focus her mind.  Was today Saturday or Sunday?

Barbara rolled over and adapted to the jagged mattress coils that pressed against her naked buttocks.  A stab of homesickness made her sigh.  She was in Dominica.  Nice island, but nothing could touch Barbados.  Dominica was too green, the beaches were mostly polluted with black sand, and the mountains rose and fell like careless dictators.  God would never pass his hands over the island.  He wouldnt risk being cut by a mountain peak.

Someone muttered outside the door of her clapboard shack.  Had Father Williams brought Troy home from camp?  At that hour of night?  The time was most likely between eleven and three.  Where was her watch?  She groped for a matchbox on the concrete floor. 

The front door burst open and crashed against the wall, shocking her into thrusting both hands upward.  They dropped to shield her eyes from the yellow dazzle of a flashlight.  Footsteps trooped in, and the louvered window shut with a clang.

Here stinks of witch,” a raucous voice said.

The bedspread she pulled over herself was ripped away.  The shaft of light played across the floor, picking up a coal pot, another mattress, and a kerosene lamp.  Three shapes in the moonlight moved, resolved into male silhouettes.

The flashlight switched off, and the door slammed, plunging the shack into darkness.  Something metallic struck the floor, throwing out a shower of sparks.  Barbara smelt alcohol.

We bring the sounds and sights of justice,” another man said with a Barbadian accent. 

She blocked out the glare of the flashlight once more. 

Were not here to set you on fire.”  The third voice intruded with a loud bass. 

She crossed her quaking legs.  “Take my purse, take everything here.  Everything.”

A pair of hands forced her legs apart.

No, no, no,” the bass voice said, turning the words into gunshots.

The hands lifted from her thighs.

She unblocked her eyes and wiped the tears streaming down her face.  “Please leave me alone.”   

The men laughed, drowning out the howling dogs.  The flashlight turned off.  Barbara rubbed her eyes and tried to sit upright.  A pair of hands pinned down her shoulders.

She lashed out in desperation and struck one mans elbow.  “Leave me alone.”

A fist slammed into her cheek.  Something struck near her feet, the vibration through the mattress shaking her thighs.

Cant believe I missed the bitch.”  The bass voice delivered no emotion.

The flashlight blinded her again, for a brief moment before switching off.  She tasted more fear than blood in her mouth, vaguely conscious of her warming body.  The curse wanted to emerge, and she couldnt let it, couldnt let them see.  “You mistake me for someone else.  Please dont take me away from my son.”  The tears gushed out.  “Dont take me away from Troy.” 

The mattress quivered.

How old is he?”  The bass voice blew up into a hammering laugh.

Just thirteen,” she stuttered.

Damn blades stuck deep in the foam.”  Two seconds of deathly silence followed the voice. “Troys a big boy.  He doesnt need you anymore.”       

The mattress shuddered, and one man snorted out a laugh.  Barbara screamed as she felt her thigh split open. 

 

 

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Waldteufel wrote 766 days ago


Joffrey, sampled/liked/backed . . . SILVER SPOON . . . You have a strong narrative voice remindful of of Elmore Leonard, one of my heroes - not overly detailed, yet specific (Mr. Leonard once said in an interview that he left all the parts a reader would skip over). Polished prose, something I've found in short supply in this virtual slush pile. Wish you the best of luck w/the novel.
Waldteufel

Estelene wrote 775 days ago

Beautifully written and suspenseful story.

You had some turns of phrase that made me stop and admire--for example, “God would never pass his hand over the island. He wouldn’t risk being cut by a mountain peak.” Not exactly my view of God, but it’s a great image.

I don't have time to read all 27 chapters right now, but I'm backing this and leaving it on my WL so that I can read more when I have time.

Invasive1 wrote 801 days ago

Simply amazing writing. I had to read the lines about God not wanting to cut his hand on the mountain peaks to my wife. The story flows like a great song, and your story telling talent is very much appreciated. Great work, my friend. I hope the reading public sees this on the real shelves some day.

Teric Darken wrote 799 days ago

Joffrey, you've incorporated some ingenious phrasing into your manuscript: "a bottle that wept condensation..." "five year jail for police that unzip crotch in publics..." "the streets were whispering..." All of these phrases especially stuck out to me, and served to create vivid imagery and atmosphere, as I was transported to Dominica.

The Silver Spoon Effect brings to mind a modern day "Father Brown Mystery," by the late G.K.Chesterton- which is a good thing! Kudos on a professionally crafted manuscript!

Shalom,

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100 / U-TURN KiLLuR)

ALPACAJUNCTION wrote 798 days ago

I jumped out to 19 to sample your writing there. I really enjoyed what I read and felt you have done an excellent job of story telling. Good Luck Gordon Kuhn

Pauline Louise wrote 356 days ago

Good clear writing. I enjoy imagery, so you appeased my taste in story telling.
An agent should run their eyes over this.
I'm new to the site - so not sure how much critiquing is offered here. I'm sure I'll learn.
To have the first chapter polished, can I suggest the following:
'limped awat from her' slash the 'from her'
it limped away, its chirp more a gurlge.
Troy jogged her way from the road, slingshot in hand.
Hope I'm of some help.

M. A. McRae. wrote 421 days ago

If it wasn't too late to count, I would definitely back this. Very well written, the characters well rounded. The early scenes of the prologue showed us Troy, showed us a little of Barbara and gave us enough of the essential murder without too gruesome detail.
There was one phrase that seemed odd, and yet the oddity fitted - 'The little bird was a teacher of big courage.'
I do not recommend you change it, only that others may also comment on it.
You asked for 'an honest review.' I have not criticised, but it is honest. In my opinion, this is simply good, story and prologue. Marj.

Eduardo Maccaron wrote 568 days ago

Jofrrey - A terrific novel, excellent voice and quite a grasp of dialogue. Excellent work!I wish you the best of luck Terrific writing.

-Eduardo Maccaron

litlush wrote 569 days ago

The prologue is sufficient, the first chapter is boring. where is the feeling? I felt i just read some words that gave me a faint picture. Where are tentacles? i need to be gripped. The best of luck to you my writing friend.

chuckgnx wrote 570 days ago

Joffrey, You certainly have wrung the basis of life and religion in Dominica; and its centuries-long-period of non-communication with the outer world, as well as its dependence on the Catholic Church, and the Devil. Quirky, well written, nailing a certain class of people in dialogue and action as well as attitudes.

chuck -- Marshall Warren -- "Sunrise, Sunset," my novel: Power, Politics, Mother Earth, Sex, and Money. 42 chp.

Saint wrote 571 days ago

I read the first two chapters of your book. I like to look for the inciting incident and the protag's goal. In the inciting incident something has to happen TO your main character to set his ordinary world in motion--drive the story. It sure does! I know who your protag is and his goal. It may sound simple, but so many writers lose that in their stories. They use great sentences, strong verbs and perfect grammar, but they forget the fundamentals of a good story beginning. Yours has what I look for. I'm going to back your book.

One suggestion...when Troy is in his room in chapter one and the priests come to his door I think you need to add a few beats to the dialogue so we can see what's going on better. I didn't get a visual of him being behind a closed door. I'm not sure why.

Oh, one more...what the heck is GUFFAW? Who uses that word. I'm assuming it means LAUGHING, but I'm going to go look it up. Is it a European word? Why not say that the crazy police officer laughed hysterically? You lost me there. I couldn't picture what happened. Maybe if you added a few more sentences to the story world there I could visualize the scene better, too.

Thanks for sharing your book.
Michelle St.Germain (WILLOW)

Kittenkel wrote 600 days ago

Very well-written! Your strong dialogue constantly moves the plot forward and Troy's 'conversations' with God are interesting and believable. I hope the Editor's Desk was helpful!

thedanilova1 wrote 608 days ago

I am concerned about the title. There is a "Spoon Effect" or "Spoon Theory", written by a retired ballet dancer, illustrating her theories about her illness, Systemic Lupus.

thedanilova1 wrote 608 days ago

I am concerned about the title. There is a "Spoon Effect" or "Spoon Theory", written by a retired ballet dancer, illustrating her theories about her illness, Systemic Lupus.

Quenntis wrote 615 days ago

Comment after reading up to Chapter 8. The work opens with a dramatic murder scene, and a powerful anti-prayer from Troy. Years pass and we get to know Troy, the murdered woman's son. Troy is a well thought out and complex character with revenge on his highly intelligent mind.

The writing is deft and flows smoothly from scene to scene. Particularly noted was the flow of narrative and the distinctive voices each of the characters had. That alone kept me reading further than I usually do here on Authonomy.

However, I would like to see a scene with Troy and his mother, just to get a deeper sense of his loss. At times he's flippant, rebellios, cheeky, cocky, and overly sensitive. Quite complex. I like the way you brought in a possible love interest to complicate things further. Even without the 'ability' he possesses this makes for interesting reading.

Nice reading your work, and congrats on the star. Well deserved.

Quenntis

michaeltc wrote 620 days ago

Backed--- because a piece of work this good, should be!
Michael
Iniquity Shall Abound

Ali Headeach wrote 620 days ago

I really enjoyed this. It's intriguing and makes me want to read on. I'm backing this.

Ali
The Fireghost

Liisa Roome wrote 623 days ago

It's been more than 3 weeks since you kindly invited me to read The Silver Spoon Effect. I'm sorry it took me so long to get round to it, but I see you've done very well anyway without my comments! For what it's worth at this stage, I think the supense and intrigue already starts to mount with the pitch! The opening chapter conveys a sickening menace, and the tension endures even through the lighter episodes in the narrative. Congratulations and good luck
Liisa

Daniel Escurel Occeno wrote 628 days ago

Congratulation!

Daniel Escurel Occeno – danielocceno@ymail.com (Pen Name: Enrique Gubat)

Emma Morgan wrote 629 days ago

Your opener is terrific, Joffrey, sparing but still very descriptive and action-packed. Then having two story strands running at once is tough to make work, but you keep them both going at a good pace. There’s the odd rogue typo – “snoot” in chapter 5 should probably be “snout” – but otherwise this is slick stuff. Well done on being selected for review :)

Randeep wrote 629 days ago

Congrats and best of luck!

naveennayar wrote 629 days ago

Congratulations, God Bless You:)-Naveen.

SingingOwl wrote 629 days ago

Congratulations! Well deserved!

ccb1 wrote 630 days ago

Joffrey, Congratulation!
CC Brown
Dark Side

Tom Balderston wrote 630 days ago

Congratulations on your Selection. May it bring you to the masses.
Tom Balderston
The Wonder of Terra

L.A. Luck wrote 631 days ago

a very enticing pitch and an equally riveting read! I wish you every success!

Best wishes,
L.A. Luck
[The TimeKeeper: Dawn of Time]

sferre wrote 631 days ago

I think I've backed this before, but I can't find my review. Anyway, it's back on my formerly empty bookshelf.

Good luck.
Steve

Sarah King wrote 631 days ago

'Dogs howling under a full moon meant someone was going to die soon'

I hope not! Mine do it all the time. Good luck with this. Already backed.

elf_friend wrote 631 days ago

Hi,

You requested a read about six months ago, but I’ve been away from the site and am still catching up on all the requests. Sorry for the delay!

I haven’t gone into the level of detail that I usually do, because I’m not too familiar with this genre and because you will presumably be getting a HarperCollins review soon. Instead, here are some of my thoughts on reading those chapters currently posted:

The short sentences in the first chapter were a bit hard to read, though beyond that the chapter was a compelling start. However, I didn’t feel that this was maintained through the second chapter and beyond. Troy has a distinctive voice when he is first introduced – but aside from his criticism of Father Rogers, it’s hard to relate this to the older version of him we see in later chapters (perhaps this is deliberate, as he plans to build his confidence up and look out for himself). I think the difficulty I had was in the lack of likeable characters – Troy came across as egotistic and having a distorted perception of others. His constant criticism of other characters felt repetitive, and his ‘experiment’ with the senator didn’t make him any more appealing. I do realise it may have been your intention to portray him in this way. Father Williams is the only other PoV character we see much of, and while I found him a bit easier to relate to, he was nonetheless difficult to understand. Overall, many of the characters appeared calculating and lacking in empathy. A surprising number of the conversations (such as between Troy and Margaret in his interview) had confrontational statements being made by complete strangers, and (partly as a consequence of this) many of the minor characters appear similar and two-dimensional. However, I’m not sure how much of this is due to my own personality getting in the way!

Another difficulty I had was in understanding some of the action/background (particularly when Father Williams visits ‘the Pasture’ – I’m still not quite sure what it is). It might be worth checking for typos or confusing sentences as well. For example, a couple of places that weren’t clear to me in chapter 13: ‘Whatever the Pasture leader had sounded drug-resistant,’ and the reference to the broken compass ‘being free of’ the needle and fluid when it breaks.

Personally, I would have preferred to see either Troy or Father Williams as a more engaging, likeable protagonist. I felt that ‘The Silver Spoon Effect’ reads like a list of deaths – but why should the readers care, unless we care about the characters? Even one character to act as an anchor or guide could make a difference. I also wonder whether it would benefit your book if you could sustain the characterisation and more evocative writing we see in the first chapter.

All that said, please don’t take this feedback the wrong way – it is limited by my lack of knowledge regarding this genre, and it’s clear you have much support for the book as it is now.

Good luck on the Editors’ Desk!

Best wishes,
elf_friend

Elsie W wrote 633 days ago

Hi Joffrey, this is an interesting idea for a story. Never having gone out to the Caribbean, I really felt you dipped me into the culture, the accent, all came through clear. Troy's thoughts come across really well, along with his youth and innocent observations on those around him. His relationship with God is something I suspect will change and grow over the course of the story, you've lots of threads to keep your readers interested. Backed with pleasure.
Lisa
Elective Suicide

AmmyBelle wrote 635 days ago

Hi Joffrey

I like the premise of this book, and your pitch was enough to lure me in, I liked the first chapter, and I have editorial-like comments, so good job! And thanks for the nudge.

Ammy
By the Night

Mike Riley wrote 635 days ago

I think this will succeed. I like the tight dialogue especially in the prologue. I would like to have a small visual hook on the characters reasonably early. Good luck and backed with pleasure
Mike

Francene Stanley wrote 635 days ago

Well written and compelling. I'm backing your novel.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

Kevin O'Donnell wrote 636 days ago

Dry, tense style that builds up the story well. Clever. Good to know that in reality very few priests get mixed up in such intrigue.
Kevin

The Collector wrote 636 days ago

Joffrey, hope its backed now. If still not so shout...david

Chelle C wrote 636 days ago

Backed.

Chelle C.
wife of R.W. Coffman
Dragon's Light
and
Dragon's Heart

stephen racket wrote 636 days ago

Beautifully written and vivid language. In truth, its a bit gloomy for my tastes, but clearly deserves success. Backed.

Herschel Shirley wrote 636 days ago

You're a good writer. Liked the quick start but for me it slowed down some after that. Not really my cup of tea but deserves an audience. Backed.

Herschel Shirley wrote 636 days ago

You're a good writer. Liked the quick start but for me it slowed down some after that. Not really my cup of tea but deserves an audience. Backed.

Hunter A wrote 636 days ago

Review of The Silve Spoon Effect by Joffrey Leevy
Heady, smart, real. A dangerous human weakness is exposed systematically in crisp dialog and because of a story line that certainly gets your attention. Throughout the work there is underlying tension the builds and becomes ceaseless in its careening into the dark parts of a character, treated with both respect and a kind of forboding by the author.
In my view the reader does not know exactly where the story is taking him or her and that suspense adds to the rich flavor of the weave. It is a disturbing place on several fronts and causes one to think in order to keep with this intelligent treatment. There are some gems of philosophy sprinkled thorughout but in a non-intrusive way and are worth keeping as one prize from the purchase of this novel.
I recommend the book and compliment the author for producing something different. Not a formula or cookie cutter pile of pages here to be sure.

Hunter Ayers
August 25, 2010

T.Rhyder wrote 637 days ago

Good job. Backed. If you get a chance have a look at my novel In The Mud: An American Odyssey.

Thanks,
T. Rhyder

RChanning wrote 640 days ago

JEFFREY: I didn't read more than this chapter but I liked what I read. It caught my attention and was well written, Then I browsed ither people's comments and my respect for you skill grew. BACKED. And thanks fir yiur comments on "Where have all the Young P.eople Gone?" I hope it has impact on older folk (I'm 82) who so often seem to settle for dead congregations

SingingOwl wrote 640 days ago

trying again

SingingOwl wrote 641 days ago

Excellent! I can see this as a move. Backed.

lamiel wrote 641 days ago

Silver Spoon has a powerful prologue with purpose. The narration is steady, and I drifted into this island mystery.

Miguel
Absentee Bidder

Bonofied1 wrote 642 days ago

I have just read the first three chapters and I am hopelessly hooked! SILVER SPOON is absolutely addicting! I can't wait to read more!
Backed!
Cheryl A. Thompson
'Whispers From My Heart'

fortyplus wrote 642 days ago

I really enjoyed this... Read it on my blackberry... Good luck with your work! You are talented! Angi

fortyplus wrote 643 days ago

I really enjoyed this... Read it on my blackberry... Good luck with your work! You are talented! Angi

Cherokeeknight wrote 643 days ago

Good evening Joffrey, Nice read. You have a good imagination. On my shelf.
Nick
Invasion From Within

rachaelfiona wrote 644 days ago

What happens next???!!!
I thought this was a fantastic read. I really liked the characters of Troy and Father Williams. Thought the narrative voice was great. Believable characters throughout. Very enjoyable read.

paperbat wrote 645 days ago

Loved ideas. Remind me not to send any more e-mails! Looking forward to your last 5 chapters. Back this to go no. 1
Jerry [paperbats] Do you have any children nearby to read my paperbats adventures?

Andy Bradford wrote 645 days ago

I can see why this has got to No 2. Backed with pleasure

Andy Bradford

Liv Eels and Grand Pianos

Silo62 wrote 646 days ago

Joffrey, I started your book, and I liked it. I am backing you and hope you can reach the top. Excellent writing. I hope you will take a look at mine.

John S Green
The Dakota Principle

Lisa Scullard wrote 647 days ago

...Sorry it took so long to catch up on reads, Joffrey - congrats on the ranking and best of luck. Nicely done.

Best wishes, Lisa (Death And The City)

tiggertoo wrote 647 days ago

Joffrey
I read the first 4 chapters. There is a distinctive voice and your dialogue is both natural and alive. I particularly like the prologue which pulled me into your story - something few books manage. Of the four, I was least engaged by chapter 3 and you alienated me by your dildo simile. Is this really necessary?
I usually make nit-pick, line edit notes, but found nothing here to comment on!
Overall it has good promise, is intriguing and rich in flavour.
Backed and I look forward to HC's review.
Murray (Suspicion)