Future's End

John,

Let me say that I have to congratulate you on an exceptional bit of research into a myriad of scenarios, requiring exacting knowledge of a gazillion technically challenging plots, plans, and persons. This is among the best stories I have read, and from what I have determined, has no appreciable weaknesses, unless of course you are a disgruntled Republican blaming the Democrats for the fall of the world economy beginning with the current stimulus package.

The linguistics are without flaw, the word choices are totally appropriate, the development of characters meets with satisfaction every scenario, and the overall feeling I came away with was bleakness, unrest, sadness, and a strong desire to stock up on peanut butter. The government even put a stop to Jon’s humanitarian best efforts, and made him a criminal.

My time was well spent in reading your work, and I have been educated in many things. You jumped continents, governments, institutions, and economies with finesse and credibility. I don’t know if I have experienced so much power, dynamics, and sheer enjoyment in any other work thus far.

You have my strong backing and I wish you all the best in becomingpublished.

PawPaw Mike LaRiviere
Eden’s Door

I finished the first two chapters of Future’s End, with the feeling that I have just entered the realm of an excellent story teller with the knack of weaving the ultimate disaster scenario into everyday lives and everyday characters, be they the man on the street, the woman at the market, a banker, a Jihadist, or drug smuggler. Talk about many fronts? You grabbed me, pulled me in, scrambled my emotions, dumped my happy emoticons in the toilet, and invited me along for a rollercoaster ride through what might very well become reality. Thank you so much for that.

Chapter three threw me for a minute until I realized that the time frame was the same as Chapter one, and we were now in good old government Washington, D.C that was oblivious to the reality of what was about to come down. By the way, no gutter language, no unnecessary expletives, no graphic sex or gore, and this is after three chapters. I like it a lot.

Chapter four surprised me as you jumped into yet another difficult scene of action –the stock market with all its nuances and nerve centers. Nicely done and obviously to me, very well researched. Shades of October 29, 1929, only with faster communications and instantaneous reporting and analyses bring back bleak memories (No I’m not old enough to have been there.).

The opening scene of Chapter five hit me hard for some reason. When this is fleshed out for real, children (no matter how old) will be turning to their parents for help and answers, and there won’t be any. I won’t be able to fix it for my kids. Seeds of bartering have been planted. Mother and daughter bonding in a plight to survive, of which they do not even know the depth and severity of their challenge as yet. Perhaps, ignorance is bliss.

Chapter six was a welcome bit of action. Piracy and drug running are yet other realms you have chosen to invade with your storyline and adventurous spirit that just happens to be well matched with your highly developed ability to paint believable word pictures with exciting characters to boot. Well placed, and nicely done.

Chapter seven, Yuri in Kiev, a anarchy is beginning and the rioting starts, and hopelessness has raised its ugly head as the realization of what is happening begins to sour the contents of the bellies of the formerly uber rich, and fan the flames of desperation in the minds of the have-nots.

Chapter eight was masterfully placed, as it summed up the causes, reality, projections, and depth of the issues. I felt that it was just a bit too clean and risk free until the limo showed up with the earpiece bearing goons in cheap suits.

Chapter nine took me back to the Jihad and the swarthy man. Haven’t heard that word used in a long time. Nice choice. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and Jihadists –a deep cover agent. Thought for a minute all was lost.
Chapter ten brings to light bank and government insolvency. I wonder how many people think about that sort of things. Nice bit of education here. Countries collapsing like so many dominoes; now do you believe? Marshall Law, big deal! Try to boss the rioting people around and see what it gets you.

Chapter 12 introduces the rest of the book and really brings to light Jon’s plans, problems, and pitfalls as his financial dealings become of interest to the government. Jon must have had a ton of money to do what he did. Now girly girl has her idealism shattered again as she sees her would be savior brought before a tribunal.

Chapter 13-14 paint a bleak picture of the effects of the economic crisis and personalize it setting the stage for even more interesting scenarios.

Chapter 15 just about says it all, and I’m glad it did. Jon, the government, the gal, the plan, and the problems are all in the open and can be exploited by a really great writer.

Chapter 16 has a wonderful line, Out with the old and in with the new.

Chapter 17, society at its worst, someone still is good, a couple bonds over peanut butter.

Chapters 18-19, really builds in tension, as Jon’s plan seems hopeless and the Jihadists plan seems to begin to become a reality with a nuke somewhere in DC.

Chapter 20 has the government calling all the shots and has located the nuke. All is calm, all is bright. Uh uh, I don’t believe it for a second.

OK, I'm done
Well Done!

Dear John --

Future's End has the best element of a thriller: this could not just happen, but it's happening could actually affect ME. As a student of the great economic disasters throughout US history, I found your premise acutely believable; the conclusions you extrapolate from the research you've (clearly) done ring with chilling authenticity. As well, the quality of your writing kept me reading; you do not sacrifice its quality to the gathering momentum, and that's hard to do.

Happy to back such a chilling glimpse at our possible futures. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

I read nine chapters. It was tempting to read more, but I didn't want to get engrossed. Your pace and atmosphere are suspenseful and informative. Chapter one shows the effect, and then relates the cause. Everything the reader needs to know to understand what's going on and how important it all is.

Then you introduce intrigue. International terrorism, piracy and politics. It gives the story the edge that changes it from an everyday economic crisis to a life and death situation. It establishes gravity.

The political and economic angles that follow are quite intellectual and yet the dialogue isn't hard to follow or understand. At first I thought it might cause some eyes to glaze over, those with limited patience and minimal economic comprehension, but getting through a few dense paragraphs are rewarding in that it explains the how and why this is all happening. It gives the crisis believability through historical reference and comparison to current events. Eyebrows raise slightly as eyes focus and a glimmer of understanding begins to dawn. With the careful application of explanation, consequence and proposed solutions (even those that only cut losses), credibility is gained. With that, the story goes from a tale to a potential prediction of a real world event, and that not only involves the reader more deeply, it hooks them to read more as a form of preparation for something they might one day go through themselves. Brilliant!

Chapter seven shows the remorse, guilt, fear, as the reality of the situation begins to set in (in Ukraine), as it goes from theory to actuality.

"consequences make for better choices" - excellent line, excellent philosophy. Jon's interview paints a different picture of the ultimate capitalist, from uncaring hoarder to learned leader. We should criticize less, and pay more attention to their wisdom.

The relationship between Ian and Jon is the perfect depiction of the argument between cause and effect of the situation they're in. Intellect vs emotion. Conservatism vs decadence. Reaction vs planning. And of course there's a girl involved. She brings Jon's long running intellectual drive to an abrupt halt and causes his emotions to flare up, something already stirred up by the obvious manifestation of his economic projections. That creates a taut tension between him and Ian which sets up the stage for the inevitable battle between the two chess masters. While other characters endure, concede, fight, in their own corners of their world, Ian and Jon play for bigger stakes on a grander scale.

That's as far as I got. The grammar, spelling, punctuation and syntax are, as far as I can tell, flawless. (chapter two, I think paragraph 15, last line: "Tis was that score", probably you meant "This was that score". That's the only mistake I found, a simple typo.)

The style is exciting and should appeal to educated readers as well as those who just enjoy a good adventure. Backed and I wish you great luck with this.

Any book that manages to make economics interesting is worthy of praise, and this book certainly manages that. The concept of the cycles of civilisations is a fascinating one, and I just get the feeling this book only gets better as the reader is sucked deeper in. The only thing here to criticise is is that some of the apostrophes and inverted commas are facing the wrong way, but that's easily remedied and in no way detracts from a compelling story which more that merits a backing.
John O'Brien - Other Face

John,
I think this is a brilliant book on a subject that is too close to home. You build on events, economic and terrorist, and take it one stage further, to build an epic story. I'm looking forward to reading more. The cycle of money and debt, the rise and fall of civilisations, and the realisation that civilisation itself is paper thin, come through in your story - and all are in fact true. This could happen one day. Your characters are believable, and this is one of the best books I've seen on here. I hope you get published - not only is it a good read, but it acts as a warning on what could happen. A warning the western world could do with hearing. Backed.
Mark (Stand up and live)
PS: I'm not sure if 'Jon Thomas' is a deliberate name for your financial character, but if it is, I like your humour!

I thought the hook was absolutely fabulous, that being, a country whose currency is now worthless provides the spark for a cascade effect that would be felt over the entire world. I think it will be very effective in drawing the reader into the story, and you accomplished that without an action sequence that is so often necessary with the thriller genre. Good job.

You did a marvelous job of building suspense all the way through Chapter 7, which is where I stopped.

Your prose has a very steady flow to it, making each concept you place before the reader easy to grasp.

I have some concerns:

I would eliminate “As evening set in in earnest.

Secretary of the Treasury of the nation he treasured. Sounds awkward.

“Look at them all Alex…. Commas separate the name spoken in dialogue from the rest of the sentence.

…but despite the apparent impossibility, the lack of light (,) and the bucking ship (;)
The pilot settled the small craft on the deck with only the slightest jarring (jar?).

I think this should be AK47s, pretty much the same way the word “its” is used.

Rahim had always said……ties to organized crime (Chap. 2). Awkward sentence structure. Bad flow.

What was this “package”? Question mark should be inside the quotation marks.

When Rahim ordered the crated (crate) opened,…

There is no structural editing needed, but I do see a need for some line editing.

…taken below decks (deck)

Chapter 3 is too much like a lecture. I will agree that the themes expressed are necessary for the advancement of the storyline, but I suggest finding another way to convey so much economic information. Spread it out some.

You have also classified this as a thriller. I believe readers of that genre, while able to follow your cerebral line of thinking, crave some action. You would be advised to bring in more action before Chapter 4.

I decided to place your writing on my shelf before I finished Chapter 7. Except for some punctuation concerns, the lecture concern about Chapter 3, and some (but very few) sentence structure concerns, you have a great product. This book is timely as it addresses issues that need to be considered on a world-wide scale.

Since this book is already available on Amazon, I don’t know how you’re going to address the editing issues, but I definitely see a need to engage the services of a line editor. Even the greatest storyline the world has ever seen would be passed over by literary agents or a publisher due to the errors a manuscript may have at the beginning of a work. They assume that if there are errors in the first few paragraphs or chapters, that the entire work has the same flaws, therefore they would normally reject the manuscript.

Great story. Great writing. Timely issues. Well executed, but still needs some editing.
I hope you have the time to read mine and that you find some constructive criticisms that I can consider. I am backing this book based solely on merit, no politics. Hope you will treat mine the same if you chose to read it.

Jsault2003, author of Battle against the Beast
http://www.authonomy.com/books/38506/battle-against-the-beast/read-book/#chapter

Dear John

Your book sat on my bookshelf for over a year. I just never had time to get to it to a couple of days ago. I have to admit I enjoyed it. I like the chapters because they are short and straight to the point. The economic explanations (and some of the similes and metaphors) are interesting too.

I gave your book five stars out of six.

Ken Szulczyk

Dear John

Your book sat on my bookshelf for over a year. I just never had time to get to it to a couple of days ago. I have to admit I enjoyed it. I like the chapters because they are short and straight to the point. The economic explanations (and some of the similes and metaphors) are interesting too.

I gave your book five stars out of six.

Ken Szulczyk

John,

"Future's end" is engrossing, suspensful and an all together exciting ride. This is edgy and feels real. I would buy this. I love that you have multiple characters in first person. This is a book you finish, not one you brows. Love This!

Greetings John,

I want to commend you on your creativity first of all. It isn't often when one can take a subject such as you have, paint the walls with it and reveal a picture of the possibilities without being too "way out there" fantastical. Very well done. I myself have written a story that resembles this "type" of writing phiosophy with THE WRITE IN. O only mention that here because it demonstrates that i do respect highly the concept of "what if" fiction. Thoughtful and provocative stories that use character-driven plots to be suggestive as to what the world (or a country) would be like if we don't / do change our way of thinking.

Yes, this is a fictional story. A good one, too. It has all the elements that make good movies, which is what I personally think will happen to it. Not because it is so much better written than most, but, because of the subject matter and that it is written well. Characters are strong, dialogud is good. Scene shifting works in this story. It uses a unique way of supplying backstory without having to complicate dialogue with burden. Very crafty use of words makes this flow well and I for one found myself engulfed quickly.

I commend you again on your worthy attempt to stay realistic. The way you introduce the effect on each area / group / culture in this story is amazing. You did your homework on other socities / cultures / economy so as to be as strong in this regard as you could.

I don't feel the need to crit anything here. An editor will be all that is required. This is a polished rough. Very impressive. A few missing commas and punctuation issues here and there but like I said...essentially nothing.

This is 6 star work for idea alone. Ironically, this is one of those examples where a mediocre story would have been all that was necessary to enhance a fantastic premise. Good for you that you wrote a good story to compliment that idea. It's clear the work was not hurried, plotted carefully and transposed to paper well, despite what must have been a constant level of anticipation to move forward.

Good job!

If this really happens, then what the people could do is to form a society without money. Based on trust and collaboration, similar to a society of ants, but without a queen or one single powerful figure. A life where everyone is equal and work to survive. Everyone will always have their basic needs met, food and shelter guaranteed to everyone. We need to spread the word now and convince people that this is possible.
Bruna

I carried on reading the story. Do you really believe this is going to happen so soon? What provisions have you made to survive this Dark Age?

My instincts tell me that this is more than fiction, it could be an announcement to what is coming.

Hope to hear from you. Bruna

Hi John,

Well done on your chosen story. I am really hooked to your story, because I feel that something is going to happen in this decade, something that will change all of ours lives until our death. I have been reading stories about the world without money and it sounds lovely. However, your book brings another side to the coin which in my naive mind I hadn't thought about.

In chapter 3, you may want to change the phrase that talks about this new healthcare system, because you are in 2015. Did Obama not put this forward before then?

All the best.

Bruna Iotti Tapper

Your creation is reflecting anxiety and agony of a writer about future of the world. Your work is also an indication to a world which lost control. In your novel you reveal what anarchism is. Your novel is deserving all kinds of approval from all over the world.

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Hi John. I'm stopping on page 4. I'm a victim of county politics and then the economic crisis. Reading about any future collapses, which I'm quite certain will happen, is not emotionally healthy for me. Having said that, this story is well written. I'll have a space open on a bookshelf tomorrow and will back you. I need to keep this critique short as I'm going out to buy a large quantity of seeds and munitions.
Claire THE INSIDERS mg/ya p.s. appreciate you giving a look at my book. thanks.

You are almost there - don't give up now.

I like the prologue. I seem to recall the day Lehman Bros went belly up it was just such a day. Since then we have had the sov debt crisis - the Baltics, Iceland, Ireland, Greece, Spain, Portugal. And now we have the curency war with SAfrica's cbanker talking of currency war leading to trade war ... and 2015 will be 100 years on from ... and 200 years on from ... and ... We have managed to keep most of the plates spinning so for, but when you think about it, what actually is money? BACKED because I like the cunning way you took me into some far off place to start the contagion. Good luck, swarming up the greasy pole. Insist on being paid in cattle, or gold bars.
Ron (Watching Swifts)

Oh wow! I really like this, it's going to happen, if it hasn't started already and we don't even know it.
It's definately backed, I read 10 chapters before I had to make myself go to bed at 2:32 am. I can't wait to finish it!
Leslie La Gringa
"love Has No Borders"

You've got a talent for dialogue. I don't know if I'd be as polite if I suddenly had no money-but then I'm Canadian, so, who knows. Wishing you well on Amazon. Backed.

Excellent piece of writing, very credible and compelling, with a strong and highly relevant theme. Backed.

Thanks,

Natalie.

Hi John,

I'm hooked. Backed and on my watchlist. I sure as taxes hope the economy doesn't follow your imagination. Great read thanks.
Bob Jones

This is the work of a very intelligent mind. Fascinating scenarios with all the elements of a best seller. I am happy to back it. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Oh this is good! I really have to allocate some more time to this. Backed happily as its a great tale so far ( and i'm only at chapter 5)

hope it does well.

David
The Collector of Tales

Hi,
I’d be more than happy to back your book if you’ll take the time to check out my work. Thanks
Gefordson

Nothing You can do.

Hmmm, but it almost did all go tits up about two years ago. Then Gordo Brown came along and saved the word and we Brits kicked him out at the next election for being a grinning glove puppet. But seriously, isn't the far more important issue the fragility of the planet and overpopulation? I can't say I really care if the capitalist system fails as it already tends to produce more losers then winners. If we cld get rid of money and religion we might be on our way to living smarter. But as others say it does not seem likely 'anytime soon'. I think the recent history of financial disorder, the collapse of Lehmans and the humbling of many American institutions and the rise of China makes far more visceral reading.

Very timely and in its way very chilling. Having just read Mike Lewis's two books, I believe anything now. Well done for laying it all out before us.

Philip John

Intetresting. It held me and the writing is fast paced. Excellent.

John,
Your work is exquisite! Your writing is strong, with no weaknesses. I was all ready reading and wanting to read more. I couldn't take my eyes off it for the first few chapters I read. You went straight into the story and sucked me in, you didn't wait a while to show me where the story was going. Brilliant! Best of luck with it, even though you really don't need it!

Jessica
"A Daughter's Sacrifice"

BACKED with pleasure!

Hi John,

A very unusual premise and far more exciting that it seems from your pitch.

On the whole, it's well written, but you do have the odd typo, for instnce in chapter two a 'than' which should be 'then'.

Also, in the second paragrph of chapter one, Natash is obviously in a car, but there is no mention of her getting into one after she leaves the house, or of her getting out to use the ATM.

All minor points, of course, and not difficult to correct. Congratulations on such a good story.

Ron

Good read and very timely message. I will put this one my watch list to read more later. Backed.

like the way you start this in Russia, been there and lots of people assume incorrectly it's all spies and cold weather, and the plot - prediction (?) is an excellent one, obviously well researched or you have considerable experience in this field, Best of luck with this.

This is startlingly thought provoking and scary because it's possible...likely even. You tell the story brilliantly and the characters are strongly painted which draws the reader in. This not only deserves to be read, it needs to be read. Backed.

Sounds like a great book! I'm going to back it based on the pitch. Hope it helps you get to the top five. Please check out my book "Crazy".

John. Can find if my comment got to you yesterday. So sent again just in case [also BACKED again just in case! as this deserves to be in top 5]. Loved the book's theme and ideas. Very well paced, with you allowing us to get to know Jon Thomson. My only thought is that at the beginning to put more ''context'' to the book's theme for the uninitiated. All the best.
Jerry [paperbat] = if you have kids they will enjoy it !

Wow! This was chilling! I have to keep reading. Well done! Backing.

Camille
Curse of the Golden Fly

Dear John Wickey,

Future's End is FANTASTIC and so timely and all too real and frightful.

Heaps of praise, best and backed.

Are agents pounding down your door, tripping over each other? Are publishers camped out in your yard?

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Reading the first bit of your book created a proper anxiety. I could feel the desperation. Great Job. On my W/list.

T.Rhyder
In The Mud: An American Odyssey

Excellent way you start. You create several clear characters which then draw in the reader. Not sure if Jon Thomson is good/clever or lucky? But will back it as I would like to see this in the top 5.
If you have any children, they may enjoy my paperbats.
Jerry [paperbats]

FUTURE'S END

Excellent Work- I skipped around a few chapters to get the idea. The writing is consistent throughout-energetic and gripping.

Elizabeth Love

I have a list of written notes next to me but there seems to be no point given that the ones below are ever longer than mine in many cases.

so...

BACKED

'Mene mene...tikal upharsin...'

Damn this keyboard. I checked all through the international files and no Akkadian...no Babylonian either..... It must be a damned Iraqi plot.

And yet that above phrase says it all.

'You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting'. Haven't we all? And haven't we all suspected that something like this was inevitable.

So my comments are Timely! Riveting! True! and it is only a matter of time to the fruition of this plot line. I suggest that all begin learning the barter system. We are there again. RT

really stunning writing
the style suits the plot perfectly
and the dialogue is natural

You hooked me immediately. This is a fantastic story - compelling and well-written. I may not be able to keep it on my bookshelf for a long time, but I intend for it to stay on my watchlist until I can do more than the three chapters I've read today. Backed.

Anne
Closeted Courage

This is an intriguing exercise in society's chaos and confusion once money loses any worth. It explores a new world, with the ironic twist that once upon a time, there was no money. I thought of "Sneakers", except where the villan suceeds and chaos prevails. I would read this just to learn something about the way society works. The writing is easy to read, and gives this story personality. Backed!

This is entrancing - it is obvious that tremendous research and study went into creating such a powerful book. It is definitely a statement of our times, and one we should all should be interested in following. Will continue to read, and will absolutely look for it in bookstores.

Backed!
Justis Call
Prestidigations

Backed!!!We are living your novel today. Very timely story.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Great story! Backed on originality and detail in the first three chapters. I look forward to reading more.

Marissa
Eternal Flame

Hello - this is hard addictive reading; with subject matter like this I tend to want to put it down quickly and pretend like it will never happen. However - you have woven a very good story here and I could not 'put it down'. I particularly like the variety of characters and the roles they take in the plot. The subtle honest facts - the burning of the dining room furniture for example. Many countries have experienced runs like this - the total loss of the knowledge of where the next meal will come from, the drinking water, the heating. But by placing the start of the crash in the Ukraine you have made the plot more sympathetic to the buying books market - as the country is established, organised, rich by most standards and so can be related to. I also like the reference to what would be called 'conspiracy' the fact that the crash is already mapped - an escape route planned. I imagine this would be a very popular book - hope you catch the eye of a publisher. Hapless

There is a haunting quality to the book that follows you throughout, the reference to civilisations before give the book wisdom while the economics of the argument convince you even further. The fact that you have constructed these points into a well written thriller has to be commended. Really enjoyed, backed.

JB Adams The Maxim Man.

When the story is based on reality, with such strong potential to actually happen ... how can anyone resist it? You've developed some great characters to carry what potentially could have been a difficult (complicated) plot ... and the going back and forth in time/place adds the necessary global fee. I did have some issues with some of the phrasing ... specifically in the dialogue ... things like people always saying "I will not" instead of won't ... just thought a few things could be made to sound a little more natural - but, I realize different cultures phrase things differently - so obviously use the comment as you see fit.

A fresh take on an old tale. I like the Ark reference. The tone is authentic and it is obvious you have a clear understanding of the possiblities and consequences of such an event. Your research has obviously been accurate and thorough. Backed.

Chase

On premise and preface alone, this is worth backing because it's pretty original. Added to that is the fact that the writing is stellar, the pacing and flow were well-played, and the idea that this could actually be the future kept us riveted. The only thing we wondered/worried about was putting 2015 on there because it will date your work once that day rolls around.

Backed happily,
Amanda + Melissa
Burns Like the Sun

This is an incredible read, full of suspense and very well written. I will shelve this at the weekend when I reshuffle my bookshelf.

Best wishes

Sarah Louise

good writing and a fascinating idea. Best of luck

Backed

Scorselo