Eternal Flame

Wow! This piece is fantastic! Riveting and action packed through and through- you held my attention with ease and sometimes that's not such a manageable task. This is such an original idea, nothing I've ever seen before- like Air Bender missed with Robin Hood- So cool =)
Touche' Brighton, this deserves to see print and it will gladly greet my shelf. -BACKED w/ pleasure.
-M

I love this piece. It's gorgeous and believable. Your characters are strong and easy to empathise with their fantastic yet real situations. There is an excellent sense of style here, real and distinctive, which does you credit.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Your vivid imagination has created a new world and your smooth writting style easily transports the reader there. Excellent use of imagery with just the right amount of foreshadowing coupled with great paced action. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

BY FLAMES LIGHT: Wow! Now that is what i call a pacey story. I love a page turner (although I have to fight to get away from my screen) and this is one. I am not a fan of all fantasy (but surely all fiction is fantasy of a kind) but this one is fast enough for me to forget my prejudices. If ever a fantasy book deserves to make it this one does...backed with breathless joy.
Raven scott (Love is a colour too)

Kick butt, fast action, magical fantasy. This should have fantasy readers glued to all 24 chapters. The reading is smooth and clean, dialogue is supportive, believable and well punctuated.
Best of luck
Dawn De Remer (Golden Moon)

I was rather confused. I didnt understand how she ended up in the posistion she was in at the start of the book. Perhaps you have explained but I have misread or something. I also didnt understand how she got her power. you said it came from the council but how did they get it ? Is that explained later ?

I do think you need to do some edits to make it flow slightly better but on the whole it was a good read. You gave a unique idea and I wish you all the best :)

Regards

Lesley-Ann (Ezeldren Spirit of Ezereth)

Congrats on all the praise below, but the trouble for me began with the prologue. Maybe if reworked and broken down a bit, it would work better for me. The plot is good and interesting, but again, chapter one had me thinking it needs a good edit to present the story in a less montone way.

I'm no expert, it's just my impression.

Best of luck with it. With some work, it can be a gem of book.

Suz

Got hooked... but am angry that there isn't any more on here. Hmph! :)
Brynn

Backed Eternal Flame. Sorry it took so long to get it on our shelf. We had intended to back this a while back but just missed it.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Interesting, yet believable characters. Very well written and backed with pleasure. Eunice. The Temple Dancer.

Bakced with pleasure. Interesting - yet believable character. A well written story. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Marissa,

Eternal Flame will surely make look and think twice what you are trying to depitch. My writings are underlaid mystical and esoteric undertone, therefore when I see one, I delve into reading it to know what stuff is made of. Anyway to your book, this is a very nice imaginative writing, well written. Characters, dialogues and sentence struture well paced and constructively excellent. The characters, Gabriel and Kirra are the vital ingredience to this delicacy. One thing, you paint your characters with believeable intrigue which make them more of a motion pictures than written drawings. Good success. All the best.

Have paused at the end of Ch 1 to back this - what an exciting read! Looking forward to the rest.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

An awesome prolouge. The narrative is explosive and totally engaging. Charcters are polished and the diolouge is rich with realism. C W

Excellent first chapter. Backed with pleasure.
Brynn

Loved your first chapter. I backed it with pleasure.
Brynn

Excellent prologue and first chapter. I did not find any spelling/grammar errors. I will hopefully read more later.
Brynn

Marissa,

Oooh, this is fun. Of all the wizardry pieces on Authonomy, none of have had the courage to take the darker tone that Eternal Flame does, and it stands out very well for it. You've got intense prose, a unique character and a compelling piece.

Nice work! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

I enjoyed your storyline. It was a great read and captures the reader's interest.
-Remember December Gold

A good orginal variation on the fantasy genre written with entertaining gusto.

Nice! Gabriel is a real hunk and Kirra is a great heroine. Looks like they are embarking on a complex adventure together. I like the names and the details you lay out in the story without becoming loaded down with information. It unfolds well. You have skill as a storyteller.
Best of luck with this one.
Christine Elaine Black

Dear Marissa
love the pitch both the short and long and then ther is the book itself wo....however it was the book cover that drew me the
first time around and then the second as well. Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

Very nice and imaginative writing. The characters are believable, yet somehow bigger than life. Maybe a bit too much violence for an early teen, but that's a personal opinion. I could see this on the bookshelf with other fantasy novels.

This is well written, vivid fantasy. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Convincing dialogue. Awesome world building. Backed.

Hi Marissa

A well-imagined world into which we are plunged without tedious exposition. It does take some working out as to who everyone is and what the hell is going on - but that's all part of the fun! Backed.

Nicole (Chosen)

You do an good job of building the "rules" of magic in your world. The premise and main character are both quite interesting, and you explore the consequences of magic well.
The one suggestion I'd make is to ditch the prologue-- it doesn't develop the story, and you can just go ahead and start with chapter one.

:-) Loved your synopsis, which captured me and easily took me away into your first chapter. I'm not a critic, just a scriptwriter, however I can appreciate a good flow of character and structure. Nicely done! Backed.

And, would love for you to give my own book a look, Jack & Charmian London.

Thank you and many blessings your way!
jim

This made for an enjoyable read, just the kind of book I choose to buy. Magic and mystery, a well realised mythology and a characters that the reader can relate to. Dialogue convinces and background description is enough to ground the reader without swamping them in detail. Happy to support a fellow fantasy writer.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

I like the point at which you start the story. It almost feels like something is missing but I didn't feel lost. You just plop the reader down and its easy to follow along. The story itself is engaging and moves along well. I could see this being made into a film.

Your pitch is one of the best I have seen with the play words of fire everywhere. I have put your book on my WL for reading later.
Brynn

This is a very well written piece of work. Already from the start I was caught and wanted to read more. The characters were believable and the prose just enough to paint the picture.
Backed happily by Plagarma

Excellent hors d'oeuvre-like prologue. On to the first chapter, and you had me wondering for a moment why the rogues had captured Kirra if they were going to kill her, 'I was the hunter', nice trick. Yurik is an unpleasant leader of an unpleasant bunch, but Nikaii seems to be a bit of an exception. Yep, so it turns out. And Kirra has to go for help. Only it turns out that as well as being an asset when captured, she's a threat once she's free. Now is not a good time to run out of magic. I particularly liked the uncluttered action when Kirra struggles with Yurik. After which she luckily 'falls' into safe hands.

This is a very imaginative work of fantasy, Marissa, full of action and tension. Characterisation is strong, with the clash and spark between Kirra and Gabriel that is needed to ignite the romance element. Your writing is lively and colourful: 'Thunder cracked like a whip, urging me on', 'lightweight fabric whispered against my skin' ... and just needs the polishing stage of editing to remove the odd repetitive words and phrases, and trim a few bits of overwriting (some suggestions below). I'm more than happy to put this on my shelf.

Possible nits: 'the pain of seeing light' might be better as 'the pain of sudden light'. 'my eyes settled on ... His eyes settled on', maybe make the latter, 'He watched' ... BTW you use this phrase several times ... also check for occurrences of the word 'as' in close proximity. 'brown eyes fell ... the axe fell'. 'tred [tread] carefully'. 'Through a hiss of pain ... through clenched teeth'. 'my tattered gown suffocated my legs', I'm not sure that metaphor works. 'I moved to the side ... I moved to the window'.

Marissa, this is an absolutely outstanding piece of work. Not only is it visually attractive, the title is unique, the story is magical, and your pitch is mesmerizing. I have backed this wonderful piece on the strength of your pitch and will return with further comments.
Loved it, great work.
Helen
The Last Dream

Fantastic writing. I love how, from the first chapter, you get straight into it - the actions, the characters and what it all means to Kirra. Great pace. The storyline and pitch immediately drag readers in as well. As for Kirra, she is a strong female character and extremely likeable - with the first person point of view, the reader is dragged into her world and along for the ride. Definitely deserving of being backed.

Good luck with this - you deserve it.

Ray

Fast and classy, great chick lit! You have a commercial success here!
BACKED

Elizabeth Wolfe
Would you consider backing MEMORIES OF GLORY? I thank you for taking a look.

So I was only able to read a little bit, but I'm already impressed with the clean, tight text. I like your staccato style and I have an ex named Troy, so I was glad when Troy bit it. :) Though I didn't have time enough to read a whole lot at the moment, I had time enough to read enough to back you. This will go on the watchlist for later as well. Keep up the good work!

Melissa
Melissa + Amanda
Burns Like the Sun

I was instantly pulled into the story, right from the top!

Your vivid imagination pours from the pages, in a most engaging (and entertaining!) way. You have a great skill for writing and storytelling. My highest complements.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Wow! This piece is fantastic! Riveting and action packed through and through- you held my attention with ease and sometimes that's not such a manageable task. This is such an original idea, nothing I've ever seen before- like Air Bender missed with Robin Hood- So cool =)
Touche' Brighton, this deserves to see print and it will gladly greet my shelf. -BACKED w/ pleasure.
-M

Dear Marissa --

By Flame's Light is a truly enjoyable story, from its evocative title (great image) to Kirra, who is a multi-faceted MC. A girl who can wield her magic, contemplate death, experience a rare bath, and recognize the beauty in a room of "yellow silk, velvet, and sunshine" all while moving determinedly on her quest greatly appealed to us, and we're certain she'll appeal to other readers. Four chapters plus prologue in, we could find nothing to critique at this point; your mechanics are sound as is your narrative and dialogue. It's a pleasure to back this well-written and entertaining fantasy. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

I read Chapter 8, "Nikaii." The characters were individuals, the conflict believable, and the prose vital. I liked how the chapter included several time sequences. Good job and the best of luck to you, Marissa.
Tom Kepler
The Stone Dragon
(Hope you get a chance to read my piece)

This is a very well done fantasy. Ater seeing your MC was a fire magician, I had to check it out. One of my MCs is a fire witch and I was very interested in how you would portray Kirra's fire powers. Very cool.

Chapter 2

" . . . pulled taught (taut) . . ."

Backed and the best of luck.

Natalie

You have a great thing going here. Being thrust right into the midst of the action at first made me feel unsteady as I was reading, but your writing is done well enough that the reader is able to catch up and follow along without much trouble.
Perhaps a paragraph or two to set the scene before the opening words would smooth things out a bit.
I am a big fan of fantasy though, and have already devoured your first chapter, backing it, and putting it on my watch list so I can read some more when it's not 2am (lol).

This is terrific imagination. I like the premise and the characters are strong even in their struggles. Your prose is beautifully lyrical at times, even in it's dark descriptions. You take us into another world that is thrilling, sometimes eerie, but always exciting. Great suspense and tension build up.
Backed earlier with pleasure.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

From the beginning the relentless pace of the battle between the rogues and the fugegeros is electric, Kirra loses her powers and is captured, but resilient and resourcefull, and with help she escapes from the stupefied brain treatment the rogues inflict, and from their camp. To fall into the hands of Gabriel, intellignece officer for the good guys. The pace never wavers, as they both have to relay the message to the summer council, the intentions of the winter council army. Cracking story set at a cracking pace.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

I love the concept of "Fire magician"; reminds me of Roy Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist or better, the "Flame Champion" of Suikoden lore. I also think your descriptions are wonderful, although there may be too much of it for my taste.

There's a sort of disconnect for me between the first person perspective and lingering too long in description, because I wonder if a person in a tense situation would have the frame of mind for such attention to detail. A person who has just barely escaped with her life might notice things like how uneven her breathing is, or the pain of her wounds, but all of the details of her surroundings? I, personally, would not, and thus the disconnect from the first person perspective.

Generally - and this is just me - if I'm really interested in a story, my eyes skim over any perceived excess of detail, because I want to stay in the moment. I think that happens here. But mind you, I am only one of a billions of readers, many of which revel in that kind of thing.

I'll be keeping any eye on this.

Sounds quite "epic" in its description...I look forward to reading it:)

Tony
Operation Immortal Servitude

This is simply good writing, wrapped in a very compelling story. I think the Prologue is one of the best I've read...brief, but just enough to grab the reader...it pulls you into the opening chapter.

Lockjaw

Dear Marissa Brighton,

By Flame's Light opens up a whole new world to me and discovery is a big part of reading books, isn't it?

Backed and best wishes.

Please have a look at CBGB Was My High School.

GK Stritch

I love this piece. It's gorgeous and believable. Your characters are strong and easy to empathise with their fantastic yet real situations. There is an excellent sense of style here, real and distinctive, which does you credit.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Hello,

Love how your prologue is so short and holds such impact. It definitely pushes the reader on. You then get to chapter 1 and are thrown right into action. The darkness and pace of the story is a good fit for your audience.
Great work

Kirsty
Prygon: The Circle of Dark Magic

The prologue is excellent in that it sets the scene for what is to come and does it very effectively. The Rogue Psychas are quite terrifying and eerie. You have in Kirra the sort of MC who will appeal to YA. Descriptive and vivid narrative, violent in parts but probably reflecting accurately what happens in such conflicts, including real life ones, and all adding to the drama of the story. Backed. Lynn

The Prologue is moody and works well. Better still, the first chapter leaps into action. You've got great dynamic prose and dialogue.
Shelved with pleasure,
Erin Adler (Bad Seduction)

You've got a good feel for writing action; your style complements the narrative well. Happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

Brilliant prologue - short, exciting, sets the scene - writing a prologue with a point that doesn't linger is a skill not many have.

Hand to my skin and pulled it away, finding blood.
There was a horrifying moment where I thought you pulled her skin away – is that what you wanted? I’m pretty sure you just wanted her to touch the cut and discover blood so in that case, it may need a little rewording such as replacing the word ‘skin’ with something referring to the pain, or instead of ‘away’ say ‘back’. On the other hand, it may just be me overanalysing, although this is such a high standard of writing, all you can do is tweak it to perfection.

Ax? Axe? Hehe, I never knew you could spell it that way.

This is brilliant. I enjoyed reading it; if I was in a shop, I’d buy it. And I’ll definitely back it now.

By Flame’s Light.

[Thank you for returning my backing. T. ☼☼☼☼☼☼]

I liked this a lot. Your magical world has all the essential ingredients for a great story. Different races with different powers and traditions. And a powerful enemy with darkness at the heart of their souls and an apparently overwhelming advantage. Only one of them is on Kirra’s side, and so, presumably, the key to the plot. Kirra’s fire magic is very imaginative and the Psych abilities of the Rogues is creepy. Well done with this. It will do well. I’m backing this. If you can find the time to take a look at Bokassa’s Last Apostle in return, I’d be extremely grateful.