Book Jacket

 

rank 4166
word count 10082
date submitted 16.01.2010
date updated 19.01.2010
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Horror, Young Ad...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Dark Heart

Verity Cruise

A dark thriller for young adults.

 

When Jessica Hart's brother Darryl returns home from boarding school, she is bracing herself for weeks of tiresome squabbling. But Darryl has changed - now he is a handsome, articulate young man with a penchant for writing poetry and a way with the ladies. At first, Jessica is delighted by the change. Then as time passes, she starts to see a more sinister side to his character. Darryl dates a rapid succession of girls who promptly commit suicide after he dumps them. Coincidence or something more demonic? Then there is his unhealthy obsession with the occult, his mastery of the Tarot, his love of Frank Sinatra and an uncanny knowledge of life in '50s Britain. As Jessica starts to dig deeper, she finds herself drawn into a dark and dangerous game where her very life could be at stake.

 
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Marcus Fisch wrote 695 days ago

Backed with pleasure
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook
Chances

jcoop50 wrote 847 days ago

Great pitch, I'm backing your story based on the first 100 pages. Can''t wait to find time to read the rest.
Jane Cooper
The Transformer

bookjunky wrote 848 days ago

Verity,

I read the first two chapters of "Dark Heart" and decided to back it. I love the dynamic between Jessica, Darryl and their mother. If I might make only one suggestion it would be the rethink the line in chapter one that reads "A hot rage coursed through me." It seemed a bit extreme so early in the story, especially given the nature of the narrative preceding it. Maybe save that sort of emotion for a little further into the book as I'm sure her emotions/suspicions will very likely need to escalate. It may be better if she is only irritated at this stage. After all, where do you go if your first emotion is a hot rage? All that said, I really like what you done. You have an easy, natural flow to your writing, in particular, your dialogue. Well done and backed.
If you get a chance, would you mind checking out my novel, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? Much appreciated.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, WIld Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

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