Ballroom Madness

Hi Jaci
Your writing has real verve and energy. The opening paragraphs were just great, just right, taking you straight into the scene. The book has a lovely sense of mystery to it, unpredictable and with a very interesting protagonist. Great stuff.
Hope you're tip top,
JG Reynolds (Head, Heart & Trousers).

Definitely not my genre, but I can see how someone into "chick lit" would love this. Humerous moments, likeable characters, a bit of an unusual plot, particularly at the beginning, and on top of that, it's well written. This would most certainly be marketable. Good luck with it.

Hi Jaci
I'm not really into ballroom dancing, but that didin't matter. A great story with lots of twists and turns. A really original idea with loads of potential. Is that you on the cover? ;)
DP Walker
Five Dares

Hi Jacqueltn,

This is a refreshing tale that warms the heart. Dani is a boldly bright and lively character that the reader will fall instantly in love with. I truly enjoyed reading this, it made me laugh sometimes and I could feel Dani's hope and determination throughout the story. Your writing is clean, clear, and fresh. I'm happy to back this one.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Hello Jaci,
Your writing has a really crisp quality. I really enjoyed your descriptions and the pace of your storytelling. You made me smile. Thank you. I will back your book and when I have space on my shelf I will place it there.

JM
'No Goodbye.'

Hello Jaci,
Your writing has a really crisp quality. I really enjoyed your descriptions and the pace of your storytelling. You made me smile. Thank you. I will back your book and when I have space on my shelf I will place it there.

JM
'No Goodbye.'

There is a lot of passion in this unusual tale. I love dancing, I have done it since I was eleven. Dani is an engaging character, who I felt a strong connection with. Your attention to detail makes this a tantalising tale. Happy to back it. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

A vibrant story with well developed characters. Impecable attention to detail. Interesting settings. Lively dialogue. Clever wit. Accomplished writing. Backed.

This work is really fun to read. Years ago, my mom tried to teach me just enough of the box step to allow me to attend the school's Friday night dance club. She quickly enrolled me in a professional dance school with an understanding that I learn enough not to damage any young lady's feet in case a girl agrees to dance with me. The things that I learned from ballroom types are still part of my special dance floor moves today. Just a two finger pressure in the center of a partners back allows steering directions only understood by dancers of high skill and merit. Dance on. Dance on. In summary, a good partner can make a jerk of a dancer look great. Chuck, Backed.

You've got an appealing premise here, and you've written it cleverly. Happy to back this for you.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

Intriguing insight into the ballroom dancing life. Hopefully the book doesn't dance around too much as it sits on my shelf!

All the best,
Amy
Love Match

Too busy dancing for the interview...what a great read. The tightly controlled locale of dance lessons with storyline relating to a future has me asking why the shade of grey appears in some of the text? The creator of the protagonist has obviously been involved in ballroom dancing because just watching TV does not reveal the complexities and personalities involved. Years ago my Mom gave-up trying to teach me to dance and turned me over to a dance studio for some social training to get me off the streets. I was amazed at the fine points of dance -- just my gentle pressure from two fingers on the center of a dancer's back could make my instructor give others the appearance that I could actually dance. Backed. Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

I really like the dialogue and the fact that you've kept the story moving along at a good pace. You do a really nice job of writing descriptive narrative, and it stays consistent from the first chapter on (at least, through the 4th, where I left off). Backed.

A bright splash; vivid and dramatic and exciting. I can feel the dancing coming right thru the images. I love all the light.
Loving regards, Callaghan

A most unusual read for me, but glad I clicked it open, because this is engaging, continuously funny, and just the gentle side of satire, It is always interesting to find yourself in a world of which you know nothing and think you couldn't care less for - you discover interest where you never thought it existed. I wonder, if from a realist perspective, you heroine is finding matters a little too easy. I think I missed the sheer pain involved - I remembered my first fencing lesson and the pain I felt afterwards..... BUT WELL WORTH BACKING! DB ALL THESE ARE MEMORIES OF MY VOYAGE

Hi Jaquelyn,
This is a thoroughly enjoyable and up-beat book that I really enjoyed reading. You seemed to get me totally engrossed in the story and found it really hard to stop reading - Backed.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

Definitely not my genre, but I can see how someone into "chick lit" would love this. Humerous moments, likeable characters, a bit of an unusual plot, particularly at the beginning, and on top of that, it's well written. This would most certainly be marketable. Good luck with it.

Very readable. I enjoyed chapter one and the lady in the pink rollers. The mystic was so quirky you had to go with whatever he came out with. Chapter two and the actual class had me smiling. You have developed some great characters here at this precise moment I’m not sure where they are going but will dip in again and read on. Highly enjoyable

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

Hi Jaci
Your writing has real verve and energy. The opening paragraphs were just great, just right, taking you straight into the scene. The book has a lovely sense of mystery to it, unpredictable and with a very interesting protagonist. Great stuff.
Hope you're tip top,
JG Reynolds (Head, Heart & Trousers).

Jaci what a perfectly paced piece of writig and the storyline is perfect...A book I would definetly buy..(especially because I come from Port Jefferson/Miller Place out on L.I) I enjoyed your descriptions and pictured the views perfectly..felt like home..You had some very funny, clever lines..

I loved thee line "I was starting to feel like I could use a little theapy for the group in my head" also later when Dani was leaving for the competition and she said that the inner voices were taking an afternoon nap because of their earlier fussing and fretting..I cracked up...

I am only sorry this is all you posted. I am looking forward to seeing where she winds up...All of your characters are genuine and you really feel like you know them and can converse with anyone of them .

I didn't feel like an observer I felt a part of the story and that is always a good thing..Lets face it when we read fiction it is because we want to be taken away...and though I enjoy being surrounded by the mountains I now live in...I so often miss all the beaches I grew up with.

It was nice to go home...so thank you for that... Backed with pleasure patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

I think your pitch is original and I think you must keep working it.

Hello Jacquelyn, I just completed reading all of the chapters you posted. I find the character Dani engaging and her journey touching. The journey from journalist to ballroom dancer definitely piqued my curiosity. Your perfect pitch drew me in as well.

The only mistake I found was a typo in Chapter 5--should read "saliva" not "Salvia", but other than that, I wish you the best with your novel.

Patricia

Yup, this is heartwarming. You have your target audience down to a pat. The words flow but more importantly you have mastered the pitches. This seems to get by most users of this website, to include myself. For once today I cannot draw out any niggles. Congrats. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key
Authonomy's #1 rated commentator

A great read-I'd buy it, no hassle.
I loved the description of the psychic- 'very tall and very Brooklyn'
The description of your protagonists sense of dislocation is great, too- 'seeing everything and black and white'
Backed with pleasure

Dani seems like such a fragile soul, but with an inner strength that surfaces periodically. This is an interesting story you are weaving. I am curious about how things will turn out. Well-written, BACKED, and wishing you the best.
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Hi Jacquelyn, The old woman's statement at the outset and the despair are well-depicted. And I like the working out of the nervous breakdown issue. A character who isn't certain about her future could take up Mario's suggestion even if she states beforehand that most people would think she had been through something - and he might be a charlatan. Nice description of his office and the dance class. The challenge of spending time on dancing after the age of 30 sounds like an energizing read - especially since she'll have to dance with a partner. Your writing is up to the challenge! - Easily shelved Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Jaci,
sorry it took me a few days to read this - my WL is overflowing because I like to take the time to read a chapter or two before commenting or backing.
This is very well done, and I believe a lot of people would enjoy reading it.
The imagery is excellent - the settings and characters sprang into my mind as I was reading, though you described them all with just a few words. Very clever, and a skill not shared by many.
Can I please have Nick's phone number? :)
Happily backed - best of luck.
Cheers,
Kit Matthews (Insight)

Hi Jacqueltn,

This is a refreshing tale that warms the heart. Dani is a boldly bright and lively character that the reader will fall instantly in love with. I truly enjoyed reading this, it made me laugh sometimes and I could feel Dani's hope and determination throughout the story. Your writing is clean, clear, and fresh. I'm happy to back this one.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Thank you! It actually is finished; I just didn't want to post the whole thing online. I'm adding your work to my WL.
Look forward to talking with you. -Jaci

Ballroom Madness. A cleanly written, old-style Hollywood opener that pulls the rope on the reader tight and keeps it that way. Finish it and it will sell.

M.M. Wilshire
Taser
The Dark Side of the Sun
Victim
Final Arrangements
Little Girl Blue
Last Call

I think you should start the chapter with "You're not that kind of girl," and go from there. That's a good opening line.

I used to write fiction full-time, and the best piece of advice an editor gave me on writing in the first was, use the word "I" as little as possible. I still think that's good and valuable advice.

Best of luck!

This is an uplifting book but it's also touching. It's commercial, excellently written and will, I hope, be a success. Backed. Lynn

The language you use makes this gritty and real. We are instantly intrigued by Dani's situation, and Curlers adds a delightful bit of mystery to the whole scenario.You set this up brilliantly, and I'll definitely be back to read more.

No helpful comments, I'm afraid, but this is backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken." - Relic

loved this, very descriptive, good flowong dialogue and all in the world of Strictly Come dancing(you know what I mean) Who hasn't suddenly found a passion for something they never even considered and it completely consumes them. Great

I was really, really enjoying this until pink curlers turned out to be Helen! Serioulsy though, you have great observations here. Wish i had time to read more but backed, absolutely and good luck.
Helen ( sans rollers!)

I confess, the pitch made me expect yet another inspirational story about finding oneself through whatever means...and I gladly admit to being disappointed in that. This is clever and you've done a great job drawing upon your own experiences to write this for people who aren't going to have the same backgrounds or interests. Definitely something that should be on bookshelves.

Sticking cover
Great pitch

This story has everything, warmth, humour, great storyline, well-developed characters and is so easy to read – enjoyed this very much

I enjoyed the dialogue between Tony and Dani. A psychic that's scared of Tarot cards, nice touch.

A really original idea. Backed with pleasure and I wish you luck with it.

Hi Jaci
I'm not really into ballroom dancing, but that didin't matter. A great story with lots of twists and turns. A really original idea with loads of potential. Is that you on the cover? ;)
DP Walker
Five Dares

Very nice so far. It seems like you've been here, in just the situation you are writing about. That makes you either incredibly talented at describing your experiences, or a gifted storyteller. I like what you've written!

A book on ballroom dancing! I cannot wait to read this. I love the premise and I can't wait to dive into this book. I'm already intrigued, which is actually difficult to do!!! Congrats on your story!

Carolyn
Fetish: A Love Story

Jaci, "The Beginning" is a smooth read. Good mix of narrative and true-to-life dialogue.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed. Ballroom Madness peaked my interest with the 1st chapter..so hope I get to finish it all

Not my usual read, but I was smiling the whole time. Good stuff...that's a technical literary term.

Lockjaw

Not my usual read, but I was smiling the whole time. Good stuff...that's a technical literary term.

Lockjaw

Simply wonderful - so down to earth and funny - certainly a breath of fresh air amongst all the story lines here about demons and death! Backed for now and will ceratinly come back to this - a joy to read! can't wait to see what happens to Dani! BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

I like what i have read so far. You did dump a lot of info in some paragraphs before I was ready for it. Sister's death,emotional roller coaster... you fed us way too early , and I somehow got a bit lost as to whether this is the first or second visit with th card reader. Other than that i like stories with readings. Makes me want to go get one done.

Jacquelyn,

Ballroom Madness - great premise and engaging writing. Backed with pleasure.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

You are a gifted descriptive writer, and it perfectly supports the themes and settings. I think you do a very good job giving each character distinct voices and the premise is strong; the pace is steady and characterizations compelling.

It feels real and not forced. You should be very proud

I wish you the very best

Scott

The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Again with the chick lit. Not my thing, but it's entertaining and original.
Backed!
Well written! No complaints.

Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

I love this first chapter: draws you in and makes you want to find out more. Good stuff.

The only very small nitpick I have is the sentence that first describes the bookshelves. The first time I read it I thought there were books about supernatural large porcelain dolls on the shelves. It tripped me up a bit, so perhaps could be re-worded slightly (putting the dolls first, maybe - or changing that first comma for a semi-colon?).

Thanks for sharing this, and good luck with it!

Amanda

Jaci -

Hugely entertaining story you've got here. I love your voice and your powers of description.

You definitely held my interest. And I don't even dance.

Backed.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

I was hooked from the first chapter. I absolutely love your analogies. The alarm clock that can wake up sleeping teenagers, the British dance shoe cages, the male Dance Gods... Dani's voice was really easy to follow. You don't obsess with too many details yet you give enough setting so that I can follow the story and get a sense of the intimate knowledge of the craft. I would definitely buy this book if I sat down with it in a bookstore.

I liked this book. I hope you will tell me when it gets published. I think you're a very good writer and your descriptions are good because I could picture the things you were telling us about. Very good!