Making Connections

An extremely rich and varied collection of tales which makes full use of the short story format's freedom of expression. I particularly liked the Brighton matchmaker. I usually read everything with an editor's jaundiced eye, but these tales were so engaging that I just read and enjoyed the read.
Backed with pleasure.
I hope it makes it to the top desk, although I note the cover picture does not have the 'Public' declaration beneath it, so perhaps it does not have enough words to qualify.
Alan Donaghue – Action!

MAKING CONNECTIONS:

Jann,

I read Crossing Lines, and was entranced by the story. You have mastered the art of the short story, but I couldn't help thinking that this brilliant premise could be the start of an intriguing novel. Your writing is a delight to read, so rich in imagery and description, with perfect syntax and rhythm to the prose. And the dialogue is realistic and crisp. I love your humour too, and I have great pleasure in backing this collection.

Backed.
Sheila Mary Taylor (Pinpoint)

These short stories are wonderful! I can't say which one I liked the best because they all had such interesting characters and I thought each one of them was special. Maybe I'm most struck by Al, if only because he isn't forgettable, despite what Alice said about him and because his mischief with insults is such a relief in our PC society.
Your descriptive writing is stunning. I loved Michael Bateman struggling to cram his memories "like a protesting cat into a sack" and his laughter as unexpected "as a camel in the arctic " Your dialogue is strong too, very natural and also, at times, amusing. Made me laugh and cry.
I will BACK this when I next reshuffle my bookshelf,
All best wishes,
Cherry G. "Sister: One Woman's Journey through the Trojan War"

I absolutely loved these. Exactly! what I want when I want a short, and I particularly like your writing style. You get it all across concisely. Really a gem of a collection. My only advice? Add to it. Backed, with serious respect.

Superb writing. Wonderful images.

A nice pitch, which promises some great stories. Backed with pleasure
Helen

You are like totally fantastic, Jann! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books? :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Making Connections
Jann King

Jann,
I read "Brighton Incidental" your fourth here, although I glanced at the first with great interest (liked the first paragraph, "corporately speaking"! Great use of language in that one...) but decided to take a closer look and comment on your fourth as I know that the first chapter/first short story of any book here usually gets critiqued to death! First of all, your cover is enticing - which is why I was drawn to your book initially.
Your first lines of this story are crisp - "A good looking man passesd the window. I liked his face. He was young, his expression intent." (From my glimpse of your first story, I realise in that one you also have a nice crisp start with your intial sentences - good style overall I think). What is it about other people's lives? Do they have a pattern, or is it like mine, chaos? Jann, as I continued reading, I thought this was intelligent writing - writing with which the reader could connect with at an emotional as well as intellectual level and I knew at once that I would enjoy your story - that I would enjoy them all because you have set a good standard of storytelling. I tend to prefer writings which speak to me and which offer something to take away. And I happily took away quite a few laughs as well as this was so entertaining!
But good Lord! Was he someone the narrator had followed before - do we have a stalker here - although it seems like an innocent, harmless one. I'm reading on... Greta Garbo used to follow people too? Interesting!
Only in Brighton! The girl, dark blonde...they had got to meet!! I live in the Caribbean, but visited Brighton several times during summer months, and you have brought back some nice memories of the restaurants, the rides, the many children and families about, the tourists, the shops and icecream vendors etc. Your setting is brilliant, and as I read this, there are very colourful images in my mind - triggered by memories on the one hand, and generated by your writing.
Okay, so Grace, named after Grace Kelly is nothing but inventive (like the author!?). Had a nice chuckle when she threw her bag onto the girl's foot to get her attention - with an innocent excuse as to how it landed there of course, and then more invented drama. You have a creative imagination Jann - there is so much life and warmth to this piece. I am very drawn to this Grace Pond who takes pleasure in mindless mayhem! She manipulates Liz and gets her life story out of her, including the girls' address; "forgets" where she's parked her car, deals with inspectors and so on, and the story gets even more interesting.
So, she's driving and spots the "E" empty tank - goes to the petrol station at Sainsbury's where she spots the good-looking man had seen at the start of the story whom she wants to set Liz up with - she comes up with a story - very quickly and manages to get this stranger to pay for her petrol (of course with non-criminal intent as she wants to create merely a later opportunity to set him up with Liz) - boy, she is good! Then she explains that she is a psychologist, observing how people behaved in queues - great imagination Jann! She learns his name - James Tilton and then surprise, surprise, Inspector Fielding appears on the scene! I love the last line - what is the second item retrieved from the floor? "It was the Jack of Hearts."
THis was a delightful story following the strange antics of Grace the widow, trying to fix up strangers she thinks would be good for each other. I think you have a great imagination, the writing tone and atmosphere are crisp, light, colourful - sunny really, for want of a better adjective, and you have a mmost memorable character in Grace Pond. Well done and more than deserving of my backing. Would love to come back and read your other stories when I had the time.

Jann,

I read crossing lines and it's a fine short story--as I see several others have already mentioned. Not much more to offer, except: backed.

Absolutely marvelous writing! The author's talent shines from every page. Backed. Best Regards, Jedward (Knut)

I started with the last one, and it's very funny indeed. I look forward to reading them all.
Very best wishes for this
RT

An extremely rich and varied collection of tales which makes full use of the short story format's freedom of expression. I particularly liked the Brighton matchmaker. I usually read everything with an editor's jaundiced eye, but these tales were so engaging that I just read and enjoyed the read.
Backed with pleasure.
I hope it makes it to the top desk, although I note the cover picture does not have the 'Public' declaration beneath it, so perhaps it does not have enough words to qualify.
Alan Donaghue – Action!

a paced, well set out book. you have to work the pen...on watchlist...
read; SEASONS...

08 June 2010
Making Connections is Simile Central - the work abounds with glorious, graphic imagery created largely by colourful idiomatic expression. Tumescent hedgerows, cats and sacks, crystal bubbles and such are strewn throughout in the fore of the reader like palm leaves. The themes of the work are succinct and well defined and make for a most enjoyable sojourn in its pages. BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run

I really enjoy a good short story anthology. This is one, the best I've seen on this site. Beautiful word phrasing to justify the 'literary, tag and human insight in the best tradition of shorts.

Backed

Comments and/or backing would be welcome on my book, but without any armtwisting. A first novel from another short story writer.

Alan Donaghue – Action!

Hi Jann, your writing is as intelligent - and riveting - as any i've seen on this site. thank you!
on my shelf.
i said i'd pass on some picky comments. sorry, didn't find much to quibble about ;)
no micro issues; the prose is clean and sharp.
on a macro note, i have one comment: there were a few places where I thought erudition got the better of the narrative arc
e.g., in the first story: "So M.B. lolled inviolate ..." - nice phrasing but, for a brief moment, i was jarred from your story and had to fight my way back in. i'm glad i did.
saw a few other turns of phrase that you may want to make less "poetic," to keep the reader closer to your character's flesh & blood. well, i know i'm advocating making the writing less intelligent.;) anyway, might be good in a few spots.
very best wishes, andy

I love short stories. Perfect for my attention span. Add writer to the list of trades. Well done and backed!

Love your writing.
A Zoomer
Going Out in Style

Jann ,I just love your use of words and phrases, the colours you paint with to create your characters. Each story in your book is a gem and though I have not read them all you are BACKED by me yes you are. If you could read some of my work I would really appreciate it and please give your comments. GOOD luck with your book

Denise
'The Letter'

Dear Jann, I love your wonderful short stories - hope you write more - what a joy to read them. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch,which was very well done. :) Your stories are good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Making Connections:

I do like short story collections, and I envy those, like yourself, who can.

Very enjoyable, the two I read - the first and second, and I can see you have a good ear for dialogue. :) You also have the ability to engage the reader with each story's characters, and scenes are well drawn.

Just thing you need to look into and that's puncuation, mainly in dialogue where the comma is outside quotation marks. All very easy to fix.

All the best and will make a spot on my shelf for this.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Extraordinary tales written really well. I enjoyed this tremendously and confident that many will too.
A pleasure to back

Brighton Incidental is great! You're right about the quirkiness of your mc here. I could just picture her manipulating these situations - the handbag against the window was a great one. And it's not just that - it's really good writing too. I especially liked the shoal of foreign students and distraught sincerity. In short, a very enjoyable read!

Thanks Jann for a really good read. It is just the sort of book that I would gladly carry around in my handbag and read leisurly whilst having some quality reading time.

If I may make one suggestion, and that is that your book deserves a better cover.

Backed with pleasure!

Warm regards,
Manolya- Love in No-Man's Land

Making Connections:

I like short story collections. I read a couple of these before and can't remember if I'd backed it so I'll pop this on my shelf just in case.

These contain lots of energy but an easy read at the same time. Just check your punctuation throughout all of them. I’ve just made a not of a few here, mostly in dialogue. Quotation marks in wrong place. All easily fixed.

“No”, said James,
“Yes, he is”,
Sorry”, I shouted
– really am sorry”,
- “Oh God”. –
“Naff off’. Needs double quotation mark after off.
“Oh dear”.
“My name’s Liz”,
“And now”, -

All the best.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Jann - first rate reading and am backing you and intend to read them all. Balepy (Freckles the Fawn)

Short stories are always a pleasure to read, but what you have here is bite-size literature. Your descriptions are particularly worthy of note - incredibly evocative and placing the reader right in the time and place.

Great work!
Abi xxx

This is a collection of good stories. I like the central theme that none of us know the impact we can have on others even by chance meetings. Your writing style is good for short stories; no wasted words and you always save a good punch for the end. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

MAKING CONNECTIONS:

Jann,

I read Crossing Lines, and was entranced by the story. You have mastered the art of the short story, but I couldn't help thinking that this brilliant premise could be the start of an intriguing novel. Your writing is a delight to read, so rich in imagery and description, with perfect syntax and rhythm to the prose. And the dialogue is realistic and crisp. I love your humour too, and I have great pleasure in backing this collection.

Backed.
Sheila Mary Taylor (Pinpoint)

Totally backed with great pleasure! I started with Brighton Incidental (#4). You really know how to write a short story - something I find very difficult to do. Brighton Incidental invited me right in - Grace is utterly delightful!! She is so quirky and sharp, it doesn't really matter what she does - follow people, lose her car, manipulate - she's a master at reading others.... I look forward to reading the other three, and wish you much success, you are a gifted writer!
Judy Adams
The Existence Game

Read 1 and 4. Both very good, both built around coincidence. The strange workings of the universe.
phil

These short stories are wonderful! I can't say which one I liked the best because they all had such interesting characters and I thought each one of them was special. Maybe I'm most struck by Al, if only because he isn't forgettable, despite what Alice said about him and because his mischief with insults is such a relief in our PC society.
Your descriptive writing is stunning. I loved Michael Bateman struggling to cram his memories "like a protesting cat into a sack" and his laughter as unexpected "as a camel in the arctic " Your dialogue is strong too, very natural and also, at times, amusing. Made me laugh and cry.
I will BACK this when I next reshuffle my bookshelf,
All best wishes,
Cherry G. "Sister: One Woman's Journey through the Trojan War"

Well, you sure can write! The metaphors, symbolism, imagery and word choice are impeccable. I'm afraid literary fiction still passes a good distance over my head--I miss out on most of the literary references and the whole genre strikes me as looking at a sequence of snapshots or character sketches that blend together almost at random to form a whole that I never quite grasp. Anyway, here are some things I particularly liked about "Crossing Lines": the cat-in-the-sack description of Mickey's insides; the analysis of Adelaide's face; Adelaide's intentional bumping of a person on the train; the Rupert Brook poem; the odd connections with the Bounty Bar. I was hoping for an ironic hook-up between Mickey and Adelaide to complete the "you're-killing-me" breakup duo, but I guess that's my plot-driven traditional side yearning for closure. Anyway, I'm happy to back this fine writing.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Hi, Firstly, that's a great cover - I would pick up the book just for that alone. Very well written collection of witty stories ranging from the odd titter to the outrageous. I loved it. It was quick, interesting and it held me.
BACKED
Mark
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

A great collection of stories that raise every thng from a titter and a smirk to a belly laugh. Backed with pleasure.

Knowing Liam Riley

Backed for the cover alone!
Seriously though, well-written, charming stories.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Hi Jann, These are skilled stories, calling up so many scenes that take your character to a destination. I read “Crossing Lines” and “Jemima Time." Michael and Adelaide both have wry recollections of their spouses and amours, putting them behind but with zest. “Jemima Time” is really funny and a good last line – and portrayal of this theatrical personality. Great dialogue! A pleasure to shelve – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Jann. This is one of the most perfectly written prose I've seen on the site. From your first descriptions of Michael I could picture him, not just as a fictional character, but as composite of many people I know or have met. He is real. And I feel desperately sorry for him. There is a pace to your writing which completely works, and the use of repetition - 'of upper middle management' - emphasises the repetitive way he probably thinks about his life. The very fact that you repeatedly use his full name gives us both a distance to the character and a familiarity. This is quality literary fiction that whilst profound is never pretentious, and for that, you must be congratulated. carl. The Time Hunters.

Loved all the short stories! Happily shelved for a spell! :)

A very entertaining collection of shorts.

Hsiau Hsia Moo

(The Monarch Butterfly)

Very well written stories that hook the reader from the very beginning. The writing is good, although would benefit from a read through to correct some mistakes. I think that would make the writing much smoother.

I wish you the best of luck.
Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

Very well written stories that hook the reader from the very beginning. The writing is good, although would benefit from a read through to correct some mistakes. I think that would make the writing much smoother.

I wish you the best of luck.
Aimee
His Pride, Her Prejudice

Hi Jann,
These stories are fine pieces of work I read the first two and partiularly enjoyed the first. All who have trvelled will be familiar with this one. Excellent, realistic dialogue and strong characters.
Backed with pleasure, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Backed

shah

Backed

shah

Making Connections:

Jann,

A wry wit mirrors a very shrewd insight into the farce of passengers - Michael included - struggling to ensure their 'anonymity' in a carriage on the Victoria line. Within 5 paragraphs, it's unmistakable that this deserves to be called literary fiction and it carries as much insight as it does comedy; though the two are not necessarily inseparable.
As a bastion of 'upper middle management,' Michael is exquisitely debunked. In the scenery visible from the train window, you contrast that unique mixture of the depressingly ugly and the uplifting so that, indeed, the 'commonplace became unique.'
After the innocuous 'Bounty Bar' episode, Adelaide's awakening comes as a very satisfying denouement.
Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Great stuff Jann. I am sure I backed your book earlier, I have certainly read some of it before. Probably one that got away again. I love the book, and all of the words in it. Backed.
Norman. The Witch of Hambone books1,2,&3. And, Muddledydo.

Love them. Need more. Backed. Lynn

Michael is a fully-realized, sympathetic character. Adelaide, who has a troubled past, is equally sympathetic. You have an artist's eye for detail. Your descriptions are believable and thorough. Not only can I see your settings and characters, I can hear, feel and smell them. You enliven your narrative with mindful metaphors such as 'he no more noticed the surges of activity around him than a rock registers the buffeting of the wind' and superb similies like comparing the repression of a memory to cramming 'a protesting cat into a sack.' Your dialogue is vivid and so much an integral part of the fabric of your story. Your humor is delightful. 'A nun in civvies' had me laughing out loud. Masterful storytelling. Backed.

I read Jemima Time and Fat Lady's Songs.
Jemima Time is a very entertaining story with a pleasant, believable, happy ending. Madeleine's idea of the best way to get a seat on the tube is amusing, and when it backfires on her, her own mistake in leaving Jemima behind ends up making it all work out. Funny and satisfying. Well written, with authentic dialogue, enough description to work without slowing down the story, and an unusual, idiosyncratic and likable central character.
Fat Lady's Songs is a very different story, serious, sad, but immensely funny at times, as Al vents his spleen on members of the public he comes across; and, I'm afraid, proves himself a rather unpleasant old man as he does so. In spite of this there's something appealing about him, and we can't help sympathising, and being pleased and satisfied, when he meets 'Allardice James Antony.' A desolate life, beautifully shown, but with a redeeming touch of joy.
You are an excellent writer, able to create believable characters and plots and to hold our interest. Books of short stories are almost impossible to get published, alas; but you clearly have the ability to write a full length novel. Go for it! Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I absolutely loved these. Exactly! what I want when I want a short, and I particularly like your writing style. You get it all across concisely. Really a gem of a collection. My only advice? Add to it. Backed, with serious respect.

Hi Jann
I liked Crossing Lines, partly because I had a similar idea once but never quite got round to putting pen to paper. I love short story collections and I hope this does well.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Crossing the Lines is very well-written. You've mastered the short story art with your work here. Very satisfying ending.

Your wit is commendable. Loved it. I wish you the very best of luck with this. kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'