Scuttleshells: Jack's Journey

Hi Christopher, You've got me - this is quite brilliant. Inventive, beautifully written (whatever that means but it is), cracking story and imagery that puts the synapses of your brain into overdrive. The words conjour up so many visuals I can see this being the next Avatar. Really great stuff that will spend some time on my shelf soon as I can make room for it. I knew this website would spit something out eventually (meant in the nicest possible way) . Mick Bannister Gibbous Moon.

Scuttleshells is a highly imaginative fantasy that stands out from the competition in this genre. Jack's journey is tantalisingly set out in the pitch, and the opening chapters do it justice. You create a worldview quickly that I can buy into, and I found myself warming to 'Ponderous' the travel snail, though not to its crew to whom customer service seemed unfamiliar ['bring your bags'; 'hurry up']. You create the scenarios skilfully and I liked the way you relate the story from Jack's point of view. I loved the 'military insects' in C2, and the dialogue with Mr Arachides is a great way to 'show' the background to the war and so on. I hate spiders, so the 'jerky movement of a chitinous leg' gave me the creeps as well as Jack, and the thought of a 'spider pack' attacking sent a real shiver down the spine. This is evocative writing, topped off nicely with the 'smell of burning beetle'.. The wild fleas in C3 were good, too, and I guess there's plenty more to come. I'll back this with no nitpicks, especially for the YA target audience. Well done.

Hi Christopher, Somehow this unusual panorama works and with Jack’s story. I guess I saw Jack and other humans as being shrunk and using their intelligence with the snails and insects. Then the part about their being settlers and not knowing much of their origin brought me in further. Jack’s conversations with Mr. Arachides were amusing and gave the human element to this fabulous scenario. The way it’s written, it’s a novelty to be in the scary environment where the insects are large and serviceable. The flow of your writing and Jack’s perspective held me into it. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi Christopher!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

Wonderful.
BACKED
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

What an imaginative story. Remind me, tho, to keep away from my garden snails. Imaginative characters. Good settings. It's a good read. I've added it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of SAlt).

Christopher,

Scuttleshells: Jack's Journey - military insects, ha, ha, just a matter of proportion, lovely surreal and a thriller at boot. You change my outlook on snails. I practice ruthless warfare when they use my garden as a highway during damp summer-nights. Well, I dump them on the compost heap. Spiders, uhh, a totally different matter, in you story they are scarier than dragons. I love all this, since I often spot animal traits in people. The writing is very evokative and chimes. I'm pleased to back this.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Snails are not fast, but they are steady. Here Jack has a lot of gold from his father and he is on the "Snail Trail." What could go wrong? I guess plenty, huh? How do you get snails to move? Well, "the Snail had a crew that told it where to go by prodding it in the body . . . just a tap to give it the right idea." This is a very imaginative story. Well, there's trouble in the north Jack is about the war with the North. Insect battles start to occur and Jack "was lost in the Moss." I'll be back to find out how he fares, but for now, you are shelved.

Totally original. I loved this. My son is now 16 and a bit beyond this--but a couple of years ago this could have been one of the rare books he would read. I am convinced that we need more books written for this age of boys. Well done.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Jack has some money and he's on the Snail Trail. I backed this about 4 weeks ago after reading a chapter. I'm back for more.

Now we've got spiders and beetles and lost in the moss. This reminds me of that old TV series Land Of The Giants. You might be too young.

The spider mite. He's imprisoned. This really is inventive. I suspect this will make very un-snail like progress up the charts.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky" - when you've got the time.

Dear Christopher Brooks,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. This reminds me of Dinotopia but with more legs. Armored snails with guns, sliming tanks: I love it! After a firm nod to the first paragraph I skipped to chapter five to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by your detailed description of imprisonment, from weak light to hunger. When he stabs himself with a nail I worry about tetanus. I appreciate the active verbs, such as “darting” and “twitched”. I like how she’s disappointed he doesn’t look dangerous. I’m feeling grateful for the Lieutenant right now. I like the stag beetle simile. Lily is rambunctious and fun. You have a realistic assessment of soldiers.

In my fallible opinion, “slough of despair” may be too much.

This small matter aside, I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

There is something about your theme which suggests to me The Day of the Triffids but in reverse; your insects of Triffid proportions and yet humans remaining in control.
From the start, you make it easy for the reader to suspend disbelief and I like the way you employ most of the senses in your evocation of the convoy to Industry Swamp.
It's refreshing to find a sufficiency of familiar detail woven into the Fantasy world so that it's possible to keep one foot in reality and one in fantasy without doing detriment to either but each complementing the other.
I'm half ashamed to confess that at various times you had me believing in your world and I think I once caught myself - as I believe your YA readers may more often do so - with an involuntary gape to my mouth.
When Jack 'felt the floor vibrate as the Snail's powerful Muscles contracted... the Snail slowly accelerated to a person's walking pace...' I began to feel that you had created great scope to explore the Thriller element in which your genre, to effect, crosses. Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Interesting plot, I would buy this book
It is the kind of novel I would give to my friend
There is some good writing here.
I think you do a very good job giving each character distinct voices
I hope to see this published very soon
I wish you the very best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

What fun, and what a great imagination you have. Children and young people will love this. I'm not so young, but I have enjoyed it too. On my shelf, Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Scuttelshells: Jack’s Journey:

Eee-yuk...I hate snails, the slimy trails the leave behind. I see boys really liking this! Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. :)

What an imagination you have to turn the snails into means of transportation. This would be great on the big screen.

I’d get rid of as many ‘that’s and other unneeded words as you can. You don’t need them and your writing is far too good to let even one slip through. :)

And strong stone buttressing.. – extra full stop.
…only rooms (which were) available.
“Listen closely now, please,” The officer said. - Little typo with the capital T. and comma needed after ‘continued’.
Jack was (inexorably) on his way…

Your target audience will love this. :)

On my shelf.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Christopher, I've looked at the first chapter. Good going. Now the first sentence of any first chapter receives heavy scrutiny, so I'd do a minor edit there to make it sound sharper: "....the dry dirt road cracking under their weight, wide trails of slime glistening behind them."

Backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

SCUTTLESHELLS:

Christopher,

An absolutely fascinating concept, that with amazing skill you contrive to make highly readable and even feasible.

The writing is brilliant. Cinematic. Vivid. Immediate. And I love it that you recognise that insects are capable of highly developed intellects. So very fascinating that I won't ever be able to get rid of another snail in my garden in Menorca.

Backed with admiration,
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Hello Christopher, I thought I had already backed your book, but am unable to trace my backing it before. This is a very bad mistake by myself, as I meant to back it days ago. It is an absolutely brilliant tale. Your imagination and wit shine through, here; I only wish I had your talent. This, Scuttleshells:Jack's Journey, will be a big hit, I am positive of this. I wish you all the very best of luck. BACKED!
Fromante. (Norman) The Witch of Hambone Bk.3. Also Muddledydo.

You have a masculine robust voice. I'm glad. I'm tried of reading men through a feminine filter. You have vivid verbs and aggressive adjectives and adverbs. And you combine it all with expertly chosen images.

You create an impressive visual. Which is terrific in this market - as a society we are more visual than literate and that's why your work has cross media appeal. I'd read this.

Good for you. You've got it. I hope you get what you want with it.

Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

Hi Christopher,
This is a vividly imaginative story that you tell so well. I think you will have little trouble appealing to your target audience and they will enjoy it enourmously - Shelved.
Good luck,
James (The Lycetta Legacy).

Marvellous story, full of inventiveness and imagination. Love the Transport snail 'Ponderous' and 'Kilopodcrowns'
I think of Gulliver Travels because of the giant snail and the tiny people and other films where perspective is distorted. It is so different it shows up in the crowd and I hope will do well.
Backed happily
Christina
From Under the Bed

This is really interesting. Mobile snails also used in warfare. Fantastic. I'll keep reading some more. All the best with it, Sana

Perfect for your genre. This is some creative writing with an interesting premise. I love the idea of the insects - definitely unique. Fabulously done.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Hello C.Brooks, What a wonderful story for young adults. In fact I enjoyed it myself, and the thought of giant spiders...! This is exciting writing and filled with imaginitive characters and insects. This is a unique concept and one which should go down well with readers in your selected genre. SHELVED.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm (Would you read some of this for me please)

Hello C.Brooks, What a wonderful story for young adults. In fact I enjoyed it myself, and the thought of giant spiders...! This is exciting writing and filled with imaginitive characters and insects. This is a unique concept and one which should go down well with readers in your selected genre. SHELVED.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm (Would you read some of this for me please)

You have an interesting pitch here for what looks like being an excitingly different story. Jack is a character easy to relate to. Your imagination is evident in everything about this book, and you start off well with Jack's journey on the Snail Trail, and the adventurous experiences he is about to have. There is a mystery in the letter from his father, whom he hasn't seen for seven years, and the very large amount of money he has been given,although he knows his father can't be earning much. There is promise of great excitement to come, and you leave a very effective hook. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Scuttleshells is a highly imaginative fantasy that stands out from the competition in this genre. Jack's journey is tantalisingly set out in the pitch, and the opening chapters do it justice. You create a worldview quickly that I can buy into, and I found myself warming to 'Ponderous' the travel snail, though not to its crew to whom customer service seemed unfamiliar ['bring your bags'; 'hurry up']. You create the scenarios skilfully and I liked the way you relate the story from Jack's point of view. I loved the 'military insects' in C2, and the dialogue with Mr Arachides is a great way to 'show' the background to the war and so on. I hate spiders, so the 'jerky movement of a chitinous leg' gave me the creeps as well as Jack, and the thought of a 'spider pack' attacking sent a real shiver down the spine. This is evocative writing, topped off nicely with the 'smell of burning beetle'.. The wild fleas in C3 were good, too, and I guess there's plenty more to come. I'll back this with no nitpicks, especially for the YA target audience. Well done.

Hi there - a brilliant flight of the imagination, and a great concept to get to grips with. We've got a classic young hero on a journey, strange creatures and lots of scope for commentary on our own world as we go along. Excellent stuff - and I love the creature on the cover.

Pat Black
Snarl

Hello there, fellow YA/Fantasy author!

Great pitch, it promises mystery and a moving plot throughout the book. Readers will find your descriptions clear and easy to imagine, adding to the fantasy world element. This is a very interesting premise, one I've never read before, and just the thought of giant bugs gives me the eebie geebies! (I won't even touch a caterpillar, let alone a snail or spider!)

Backed with confidence,
Britney
BFL

ok, so you have a vivid imagination, but it does seem to work very well. Remindeed me a little of starship troopers, but obviously a YA version. It is well paced , with good characterisation especially your MC and with your vivid descriptions this really is delightful and fun too.Backed

How did you think of this? Very creative! You have all the writing skills down and your story flows at a nice pace. I want to know more about Jack and you made him likable. Especially when he waved at the little kid. (Girls love that in a guy ;)
I think this will continue to do well.

SD Gillen

Christopher,

Jack is a very likable character and the world you've created for him is wildly good. "Scuttleshells: Jack's Journey" is on my bookshelf, "backed".
If you get a chance, would you mind checking out my book, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? Much appreciated.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, Wild Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

I'm fascinated by the premise here, what a wonderful idea and such invention will find a ready market with a YA readership. You write well and Jack is an excellent MC. The opening is a little pedestrian perhaps - halfway through the first chapter we get to find out what Jack looks like, in isolation from what has gone before - but there's a good story here and plenty to interest a young reader in particular. I thought as I was reading what a wonderfully scenic book this is and how well it would transfer to film. Whether animation or computer generated images, there's such filmic potential here. Sticking with the book though, it's a cracker. Backed.
Jared.

This will be great for the YA market, I'd have thought.
Mini-beasts was such a popular science topic in UK schools - this is bound to be a hit. Most enjoyable. BACKED. Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

This is an interesting story. I lived the way you built the carrying place on the shell of the snail and could just imagine if going round and round as it spiraled up the shell. Lots of new ideas, with a new type of money and you give as a new perspective on the speed of a snail. This is well written and I am sure it will appeal to younger readers. I will back it with pleasure.

Tony
Life bringer

hey this is neat, i think when it comes out my niese will love it. anyways goodluck. and backed!
hope you can have a read of mine some time. thanx.

Alexei (Memories of an Orphan)

Hi Christopher, You've got me - this is quite brilliant. Inventive, beautifully written (whatever that means but it is), cracking story and imagery that puts the synapses of your brain into overdrive. The words conjour up so many visuals I can see this being the next Avatar. Really great stuff that will spend some time on my shelf soon as I can make room for it. I knew this website would spit something out eventually (meant in the nicest possible way) . Mick Bannister Gibbous Moon.

Hi Christopher, Somehow this unusual panorama works and with Jack’s story. I guess I saw Jack and other humans as being shrunk and using their intelligence with the snails and insects. Then the part about their being settlers and not knowing much of their origin brought me in further. Jack’s conversations with Mr. Arachides were amusing and gave the human element to this fabulous scenario. The way it’s written, it’s a novelty to be in the scary environment where the insects are large and serviceable. The flow of your writing and Jack’s perspective held me into it. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hello! My name is Lindsay and I am seeking some feedback for my book, Parker and the Parallelium. I'm hoping to find some good advice for my next round of edits. Anything you could offer would be greatly appreciated! I'd be happy to swap reads if you are interested- just let me know. Thanks for your time!

Lindsay Nagode
Parker and the Parallelium: Into the Beyond

Giant creepycrawlies! Wonderful! Sergeant Ictus needs feeding to something. You have a good MC in Jack and a world that is weird but also familiar. Just what children love. Should do well. Jim D Serpent's Blood

I loved this and so, I'm certain, will my children.
Backed!

This is really entertaining stuff, a great read that is wacky, wild and fun. I think this is just the right amount of weird to make it enjoyable. I think that there are some areas that you could improve upon that would make this an even better read.
~The usage of personal pronouns. You use Jack's name forty two times in the first chapter. It seems like a lot for such a short chapter. Not to mention a lot of the sentences there in start with he/his/she/Jack. I would look into rewriting some of these to take away from the personal pronoun start.
~there is a passive tone to this. A lot of was sentences. Look to see if you can cut some of them down.
~ The word that, or, but, really could be culled. Do a find on these words and try to weed the unneeded ones out.

For the premise and the quick pace this deserves support.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

What a very clever idea. Love it.

Deligthful fantasy. Great for the right age group.

A.P. Constantin

The Crystal Butterfly Club

SHELVED!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Christopher
This is brilliant. Forget YA! Loved the way you described the giant Hunter spider with the people on board, like some new imaginative version of the Trogan Horse. Good piece of imagery and writing. Backed
Rosali/Fieldtrip to Mars

Super adventure story. Excellent writing. On my bookshelf.
This has a slightly formal air to it, somewhat, may I say,
in the style of Gullivers Travels.
Lots of luck with it..........Mikell The Free

Hi Christopher, All hail to the mollusks! (That's what snails are, right?) This is my new favorite and I don't think I'll look at another snail exactly the same way again... until I tend my roses. hehe. Kidding aside, you've a wonderful imagination and viewing of things. Subslime... I mean, sublime ;0) Shelved. JupiterGirl (Twins of the Astral Plane)

Go to work on a snail. Or is that, go to war on a snail?

Inventive and I'm sure it's young udience will be out there taming snails in short order.

have a shelving.

Christopher, this seems to me every YA's fantasy. The prose is literary - not at all dumbed down, I'm happy to see. Glad I'm not there to see the spiders' eyes, though. Very best for this. It should do well Shelved. Lynn

man....where did you get this concept from? brilliant piece of work...I must applaud your imagination...excellent job

Christopher...

Read your pitch and opening chapter to my 15 year old boy.....Ermmm !!! He wondered if the slugs could be operated by remote control.......(right OK, sorry, I asked, but he asked me, so thought I'd share)......Anyway, you get his vote, and that what counts.... We read more together,,,,, he didnt know what 'inexorably' meant....

Shelved with pleasure, this will hit the YA market like a fridge door in the face...

Do you think 14 is an appropriate age for Jack? Having had 5 kids and now started on the grandchildren, I thought it was a funny age. All my teenagers were interested in at that age was music, PS whatever it was at the time.
Backing this for premise
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George