The Chronos Gambit

This will stand out like a beacon amongst the other Sci-Fi books on here and that is no mean feat. The action sequences are rivetting and it is very hard to put down. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

I`ve read half so far, and all I can say is..WOW!. This is really good, and your style of writing is excellent. I`m sure this will be at the top in no time. Backed

Sarah Louise

nice one bloke enjoyed that very much

Enjoyed the first chapter - shades of Peter Hamilton.
The story is engrossing with intro - action rising tension climax and resolution with the hook of the teardrop appearing in 1596. Great action, description and interior dialogue.
Loved Emily, Mother and the mannikin. The other characters highly visual as are the computers.

Great read. Backed with pleasure.

Katy. xx

I read this yesterday but completley forgot to comment... my apologies!

Woaaah.. Emily... for lack of a better word... rocks!

The writing style is immaculate, the plot is extremely intriguing and inspiring. Fabulous characters and how could I forget.... rather wonderous lizards to boot.

ps. studying art/design at college, I must say I love the cover font.

Best of luck with it!

This is my thesis too ... 'the butterfly in the mind' ... the tiny changes in one person's physical brain which can bring about huge changes in the future of mankind (see the final paragraph of Authonopmy Chapter 2)
But unlike the butterfly of chaos theory, this butterfly has direction - his wings do not flap at random.
Very well done - both the ideas and the writing.
RT

This is my thesis too ... 'the butterfly in the mind' ... the tiny changes in one person's physical brain which can bring about huge changes in the future of mankind (see the final paragraph of Authonopmy Chapter 2)
But unlike the butterfly of chaos theory, this butterfly has direction - his wings do not flap at random.
Very well done - both the ideas and the writing.
RT

By Changing history, changed the outcome of a key battle between the Saurian Empire and the Terrans. When the saurian fleet mustered to protect their Home World, the outcome of the battle had already been decided. Pope Clement believed that he had a visitation in the form an angel one night in his bed chamber, but he couldn't have been more wrong.
Great story with fantastic battle scenes, and then there is the pebble in the pond that causes so many ripples.
Backed with pleasure.
Daniel Manning.
No Compatibility.
Chapter two: Eight hours later Pope clement V11 remembered a vison from one of the sacred angles. ( Angels)

Excellent science fiction. I've much enjoyed reading it. Backed.

Very well written with nicely engineered characters and plot from what I've read so far. A little bit cliche in the lizards verses humans and twisting time plots but not overly done. Eminently readable.

S.J.

You're headed in the write direction with your story. I have some suggestions to improve this.

You do a lot of comma splicing. That is, you use commas instead of starting new sentences. The opening of the book has action, but not characters and no personality. Remember that scifi isn't all science and aliens. The characters are the reason people read books no matter the genre. Put that out front so we care what happens.

This has promise, so I'll put it on my watch list.

Brian
Mute

A true pleasure to read the first two chapters!! I look forward to read more and will back it!! Please don't hesitate to ask for anything, and due stop by to read "The Fortunate Death of Jackson Burrows" as I think from your writing you would enjoy it. Cheers!!

Ian

Loved the cover art--You have a flair for slowly pulling back the layers, revealing the core of this story. I think you do a very good job giving each character distinct voices
I wish you the very best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Like this. I like the opening and the use of Twinkle Twinkle little star which then jarringly turns into something far more sinister. I like the sci-fi techno elements. I like the time travel. I like Emily and Mother. I like the confidence and flow of the prose. I like the premise and the page turning effect of the book. Basivally, i think I'm saying I like this: a lot. Good luck with it.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

Wow, cooked bi-pedal lizard with silver web in its flesh. Strap it on someone else to see what it does. Here comes Emily, bored with her new, safe job, much different from being a "scimitar captain." Then we jump back to the 1500s and we have lizards whispering to popes as a "sacred angel" to change the "template of the universe." Of course, Emily volunteers to strap on the webbed suit to stifle her boredom. Wham, her boredom is gone, but what replaces it? I'll be back to read more. Thanks for uploading the complete text. Backed for now.

Hi there. Took a look at your opening chapter. Below are my thoughts.

Nitpicks:
The opening of Chapter 1, Twinkle, twinkle little star… doesn’t quite work for me. The: Like a Kill-sat is too long and doesn’t match the rhythm of the rhyme.
Adverbs: It changed direction (erratically, dramatically) and the pursuing ships matched its course (accordingly). Three adverbs in one sentence – 3 too many. Always try to avoid adverbs, they tell not show and they can clutter sentences up. Only use if there’s no viable alternative. Suggest: All at once it changed direction and the pursuing ships matched its course.
Repetition: …and more able to choose the shots to disable the (ship)… one blast caught the underside of the little teardrop shaped (ship). The pilot coaxed the (ship) into a sharp dive… The repetition makes the sentences read a bit like a list, suggest varying the word ‘ship’ with craft, vessel, etc.
Repetition: The hunter sensed his decision and (dived) after him, as they (dived)… Suggest replacing the 1st ‘dived’ with: and went after him.
Wordiness: …before it pulled them into the oblivion (it sought). Don’t need the bracketed words, suggest: …before it pulled them into oblivion. This has more impact.
Repetition: …and cut it out of its stealth (suit). The combat (suit)… This (suit) was advanced… The (suit) was sent for analysis.
Wordiness: (She left them) and walked barefoot… Don’t need the bracketed words.
… (the window stayed in the other room.)Not sure what this is meant to convey.
You’re late (mam)… shouldn’t this be ‘Ma’am?’

The descriptions are generally tight, focused and evocative, the dialogue naturalistic. However a little judicious editing would be in order to eliminate the nitpicks I’ve outlined. Having said that there’s nothing there that can’t be rectified and remember, they’re just my opinion. I suggest reading your manuscript out loud, it helps to spot repetition and wordiness. Because I think this holds potential I’m happy to back it. Good luck.

Great. Found myself reading more and more chapters. This can not be your first book as too polished. Like the 'ending on ch. 32 !

Jerry [paperbats] Am new here. comments / backing appreciated if you see fit.

Great. Found myself reading more and more chapters. This can not be your first book as too polished. Like the 'ending on ch. 32 !

Jerry [paperbats] Am new here. comments / backing appreciated if you see fit.

Strange, wonderfully strange, probably what the world will be like after we humans continue to destroy what we are and have now ; but, entertaining, sure to enthrall sci-fi fans and the Brit Intelligence Corps...
If you get a chance, take a look at my "down to earth" people in "Sunrise, Sunset"; power, politics and money; it's complete, 40 chapters shown here rushing toward the emotional, surprise ending.
My best to you,

Chuck / Marshall Warren -- "Sunrise, Sunset"

I am afraid i am the wrong person to comment on sci-fi and fantasy. Swift, yes, because he was, centuries before his time, writing satire, culminating in the biting comment on the human state with his yahoos. He also did it with impeccable prose.
I started your first chapter with concern about sentences divided by commas, that sort of thing, and frankly bored with the interplanetary battles, having lived through the real life aerial dog fights of the Battle of Britain. Then I read on a few chapters and realised that you were writing something that rises above the usual bog-standard sci-fi fare. The basic idea is original and well-thought out and there is obviously a strong narrative that develops over centuries. On this basis I am happy to accept that this is very good of its kind and has a story that will appeal to enthusiasts. I am backing it and hope you find time to look at either Adam's Apple or Tiger's Heart.
Leslie Rocker

THE CRONOS GAMBIT - RJ Kain
hullo RJ. Although sci fi is not really my genre yours stands out. Very good.Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Dear RJ,
I love the time travel aspect of your book. As a Star Trek fan, your classic sci fi approach is very appealing. I like the built in assumptions, contact with alien species already established, for example. Very nicely done!

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Good story and style. Backed.

God Bless,
Chipper

12 August 2010
I stand in awe of authors in the Sci--Fi field because there doesn't seem be anywhere where you can research 'fantasy' technology and therefore, rightly or wrongly, I assume these writers devise their own. But the 'inventions' have to be feasible and explainable. In The Chronos Gambit 'realism and credibility' are created with ease. Hyperspace, charged tractor nets and bi--blades sound real to me. Excellent, robust prose and a sterling plot.
(nitlet: 'their desperate' should read 'they're desperate') BACKED. Robert Davidson. The Tuzla Run.

I read the beginning and end of The Chronos Gambit and was very impressed. The plot is intricate but remains credible, the writing is fast-paced and clear, the dialog rings true, and the MC is charming. Plus, your ending leaves room for a sequel, and who could turn their back on a book featuring both Saurians and Romans? I liked the way Emily evolved from test rat to heroine, and you sprinkled in a lot of humor to give us a chance to absorb things (the manikan being a standout example). What I especially liked about this book was the way you showed us what was happening bit by bit in small detailed scenes. A lot of sci-fi writers bury their readers in details to support their premise and lose the thread of the story, whereas your pacing was just right. Two very minor nits to consider--1. you use the name Sauron, which could call up confusing allusions to Tolkien's villain; 2. In the final chapter the general keeps prefacing his answers to the director with the phrase, "Well madam." You might want to omit at least one of these. All in all, this was a sci-fi book I would buy.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

This is high calibre reading. I was immediately absorbed. Your style is immaculate, the plot fast, tension rising with each paragraph. I l loved the juicy lizards and your characters are so well rounded they almost leap off the page.
The action is superb and the dialogue engaging. The theme is orginal and exciting holding the attention.

Backed with pleasure.

Katy
Phobic Dawn

Dear Rj
well just loved it , your writing is amazing, 'gave one the impression that formality was left at the door' oh what a sentence which summed up the room you had taken me into. this is what true writing is about , the creation without all the descriptive words that are obvious. I am now left hanging, so what now? dont tell me that is all, i cant get any more and i want more, what is going on with this Trojan Horse episode, a cover up.......
You asked me to read on and i did but now i need some more
Denise
The Letter
if you have already backed my book thank you SO MUCH, if not that is OK also
the VERY best of luck
Denise
The Letter

I`ve read half so far, and all I can say is..WOW!. This is really good, and your style of writing is excellent. I`m sure this will be at the top in no time. Backed

Sarah Louise

Good job. Much like an adventure novel that spans the globe, this epic spans the centuries. Ambitious and polished, this should do well. Backed.

Fear RJ
I have no idea how i missed this book the first time around, but your book cover grabbed me the second. Your long pitch is compelling as is your book. I have now finished my read and encourage others to get carried away with this also.....I would like to get this book of yours backed to assist it on the climb to the top.
Backed for sure my me. ..I would really appreciate it if your would look at my book, COMMENT , and back it. If not that is OK also
The VERY best of luck with your book

Denise
The Letter

This will stand out like a beacon amongst the other Sci-Fi books on here and that is no mean feat. The action sequences are rivetting and it is very hard to put down. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Astonishing idea for a novel. And astonishingly excellent action scene, 'They had fell [fallen?] like silent metal falcons out of the dark', 'grab the ship with charged tractor nets'. They don't save the enemy, but they do salvage something. On to Emily, the wandering TV and the robot who acts like her mother (and has a sense of humour, after a fashion) and tries to detract from her obsession with war. In space, a ghost ship vanishes, and reappears in the past. The lizards have time travel. They also have a plan to distort human history to their own ends. Emily is about to take part in an experiment and she's bargaining, 'Scimitar class ... manikin crew only'. The experiment is haphazard, until, 'A line of light caused by a pope'...

As I said, astonishing - the idea of going back so far to distort history. The enemy here are savage and ruthless as well as intelligent with advanced technology. They are equipped not only to win, but to snack the human race out of existence. Up against them, we have the laconic, cynical Emily, veteran of close combat and from whom most of the humanity has been leeched. A fitting opponent, but she's not only up against the lizards, but also her own kind, and maybe even herself. Spectacular Sci-Fi ... backed.

Possible nits: 'of the planet[,] alarm klaxons'. 'that ran from the back of her jaw', omit 'that'. 'chest of draws [drawers] ... top draw [drawer]'. 'Your [You're] still-'. 'either would one would'. 'Did you fel [feel] anything'. Watch out for run on sentences which should be two or more, e.g. 'How about going out tonight mam, we could go shopping'. Also check the tenses - past and present sometimes are mixed, 'The old man was tough ... the flesh is still sweet'.

Hi RJ

I love the opening nursery rhyme!

Very cinematic chase at the beginning, reminds me of the opening of one of the Star Wars movies

A few small things:
Repetition: use of the word "dive" or "dived" 3 times in 2 sentences, "pulling" and "pulled" in the same sentence
"to the darken glittering earth" - "darkened glittering earth"?
I like the concept of the Saurians - haven't come across this particular kind of alien before!
"if their desperate" - s/b "if they're desperate"
Your use of punctuation is a little unorthodox. You tend to use them where most people would use a full-stop.
spelling: "drawers", not "draws"; "doleful", not "dole-full"
punctuation: "go out to a club tonight, happy." Should there be a question mark after "happy"?

I like this. Terse businesslike prose style, a very appealing MC in Emily (she reminds me of Starbuck in Battlestar Galactica), and then the extra intriguing idea of time-travel through history. Super-cool! Backed.

Nicole

Very well written. You have created a plausible future world. You have a fascinating plot with many twists and turns.

Best wishes.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Very well written. You have created a plausible future world. You have a fascinating plot with many twists and turns.

Best wishes.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

R.J.,

Fascinating creativity. Extremely well done.

Emily is an interesting character created so that the reader can easily identify with her. I love the manikan concept and Emily's somewhat annoyance.

Well written, my son loves this genre and I am sure he will read .

Great job. Very intelligent work.
Backed!
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

a decend read

This is a promising start. You have a talent for the rhythms of language and for knowing what details will be memorable. A rollicking pace, with just enough description and character development to keep this story going. I had difficulties here and there with your style, because it seemed inconsistent. For the most part, you follow traditional grammar so that when you throw in something like "Flint smiled, they all smiled back, interviews on prime-time and autobiographies beckoned," it strikes me as just incorrect. You don't employ this choppy type of thing enough, this type of aside to the main action, to let the reader get used to it. It really just sticks out from the rest. Also, you have some punctuation problems, particularly when you're doing dialogue. However, lots of promise here, just needs editing.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

A very entertaining science fiction piece. I admire anyone who can create other worlds and species. Nicely done. Backed
~K. McCracken
What the Heart Wants

You had me with your opening. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star... Now that's a good start and an origional one at that! You write fantastically and give us an in-depth view of your world. Thanks for the read, and I'll be BACKING you!

- Scott

P.s. If you get the chance to check out The Ark of Humanity I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks and bhave a wonderful day!

Sci-Fi isn't my thing normally, so I had to kind of step away from my self and try to read this with your target audience in mind. I'm not the best person to comment on specifics in a case like this, but I will say you have an original imagination and the story has a good pace. I hope you do well with this here; you have my support.
xBeccaX

This is really my kind of book. I love the imagery and the characters take on a life of their own. Emily is by far a memorable lady, if you can call her that.... So where do I start?

good intro, nice transitions, and plot is not as predicable as i anticipated for a Sci-fi novel. I liked the originality in the overall piece.

RW Coffman
Dragon's Light

RJ,
This is a rather promising read which promises quite a ride into the sci fi realm - I am hardly a sci-fi person but I must say that your ability to provide picturesque details and then support with visibly intensive description only highlights your depth as an upcoming scif-fi author.

To my mind, The Chronos Gambit is a profound read which introduces unique characters and a plot that immerses the reader almost immediately!

So, it is backed!
Best of luck RJ and thank you for being so patient waiting for my commentary!

Rome
Directives for Murder

Really well done, I wish you the best of luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

The Chronos Gambit's epic account spanning twenty-five centuries is magical and imaginative. Backed.

Ahh, fast paced science fiction, just the way I like it ;) Definitely backed.

An engaging story with fascinating characters. Awesome world building. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. Backed.

As an Emily with dark hair and eyebrows, albeit with no scars, I just want to say, I would no way do this!!! Fantastic story, well written, a weaver at his/her craft. Excellent, backed!
Millie C

I'm so glad you invited me to read this: an excellent sci fi adventure that's very enjoyable and well worth backing!

Abi xxx
Relic

I see a certain blue police box influenced someone else here, very clever story that uses time travel intelligently but also in the tone of all the good scifi shows. The Saurians are classic monsters and using the Pope as a weapon is pure genius. I can already see the action figures. Good job.

Great opening. The poem gathers energy. Well written storyline. Backed. Chuck (Literary Agent Blues) (Uboat Officer)

Very readable. I especially regard the vivid descriptive language that evokes a real sense of place and demonstrates your understanding of the purpose of written style in this genre. Emily Sanderson is a character I could identify with; she embodies modern women even though she faces her demons in the 24th century.
I haven't finished reading yet but intend to.
I am pleased you've changed your opening sentence.
Backed with pleasure.