The World According to Luke: Book I My Life in Knots

This is an unusual take on a well-worn theme and works very well. Seeing the world, or what remains of it, through Luke's "13 string" eyes is a nice touch as we get to see his simplistic view of events, free of outside influences. It's a charming story in many ways, easy-paced and with a long opening chapter it becomes essential for the story to fix the audience. It certainly did with me.
You write very well, setting the events before the reader in a logical fashion. One of the best YA books I've read here with a good MC in Luke who, together with the savvy wisdom of Gramps in the background, is an excellent guide through the events that unfold. Backed.
Jared.

This is a very original book. The end of the world isn't original, but your treatment and development of the idea certainly is. I like Gramps, a kind, smart, feisty character who doesn't let anyone walk over him, but wants to help as far as he can. His preparations for what he knew was coming are excellent. You have shown great imagination and insight in working out what he needed to do, and how he could do it. Luke is an interesting character, a boy growing up, seeing a girl for the first time, another unusual and interesting idea. Your style is good, and you have given Gramps a very individual voice, which brings him alive. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Yeah, the dialogue is good and one gets the feel of the world as it is after an apocalypse. Very good writing that stir up a lot of interest and intrigue. Good descriptions.

Backed (yesterday)
The Lord of the Dawn

Once you get used to the local dialogue, this becomes an engaging and comfortable read. We're intrigued by the cast of characters, all vivid, three-dimensional and well-constructed, and it's great to see something so polished.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

R E, that first chapter is well done. I like the mix of true-to-life dialogue and narrative. Nothing to nitpick in that section.

Sincerely backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

The World According to Luke:

Enjoyed this first chapter and it's interesting characters, You have a good ear for dialogue, and I like the dialect.

All the best, and I’ll pop this on my shelf for a spin.

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

This is a wonderfully written, thought-provoking story. Your writing flows smoothly with an even pace, excellent dialogue, and compelling characters. You have a wonderful imagination. Well done. Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH (2010 ABNA Quarter-Finalist)

This is an imaginative story; a coming of age one set in the future. I liked the accents in the dialogue but wished people with better command of English were the ones who had survived. I like the gentle pace. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

The language gets better as the story moves along and the readers get a rythm in their minds as to each of the character's tone of voice. The the command of the alnguage is more about their being alone and using shortcuts witheach other which have become habits as time passed. If you read far enough, you know they have been alone for fifteen years if you did not, you've just been told ... q;-]

Thanks for peeking into the lives of Luke and the family...

rick

This is an imaginative story; a coming of age one set in the future. I liked the accents in the dialogue but wished people with better command of English were the ones who had survived. I like the gentle pace. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Seeme even better than when I last looked...
Congratulations.mikegilli The Free

A very entertaining read, backed with pleasure.
BADD

Hi RE, I really love the idea behind this. There are very few women in the world, what happened to them, the lady in the story said the world ended, it's really intriguing? I'm sure all my questions will be answered but at the moment I don't have time to read on although I would love to. I love the idea of string time, it's brilliant and the dialogue is really strong, even the accent comes across very well. I love the confrontational woman, no trust for the granddad at all, but who could blame her in this world you have created. Brilliant, very enjoyable read and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Thank you, and yes, your questions will be answered in the course of 59000+ words if you go that far, AND another 50 something thousand if you read book two then I might have book three posted nad you will get a totally different new idea as to how the world will end, we are perilously close to it today... but this is only 2010 time is not right yet LOL d;-]

Thanks again for liking my little post-armageddon tale...

rick

Hi RE, I really love the idea behind this. There are very few women in the world, what happened to them, the lady in the story said the world ended, it's really intriguing? I'm sure all my questions will be answered but at the moment I don't have time to read on although I would love to. I love the idea of string time, it's brilliant and the dialogue is really strong, even the accent comes across very well. I love the confrontational woman, no trust for the granddad at all, but who could blame her in this world you have created. Brilliant, very enjoyable read and on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Backed January 26.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO LUKE.

This has a nice cosy feel to it, despite the apocalyptic theme. You write very well. Your dialogue is realistic, and I found the dialect quite easy to read, but at times I thought there was a little too much talk, but that may just be me. The only other thing which jarred a little was the repetition of the word "Grunted" in the first chapter. Certainly deserving of a spin on the shelf.

J&M Jensen
(Graemor)

Hi Y'all,

With Luke being thirteen, the dialogue comes from his view point. There are a few repetitions of things throughout the book simply to maintain the illusion of "LUKE" When Laura begins to fall for Michael, the only thing Luke can say is that she is giving him "goofy looks" for how is a thirteen-year-old to know about the busines of men and women in a world where those interactions are not a matter-of-fact, on TV and school on a daily basis. Grampa grunts and that has been life for the boy ... I took lots of chances in writing this and it took me a whole week to write it.

Book two is also complete and posted, in case you want to read the full length things, I am told they are page turners, I wouldn't know I have not read them... d;-]

Thanks for the commenst, compliments and backing. I am headed to your place to seach for elves dragons and wizzards...

rick

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO LUKE.

This has a nice cosy feel to it, despite the apocalyptic theme. You write very well. Your dialogue is realistic, and I found the dialect quite easy to read, but at times I thought there was a little too much talk, but that may just be me. The only other thing which jarred a little was the repetition of the word "Grunted" in the first chapter. Certainly deserving of a spin on the shelf.

J&M Jensen
(Graemor)

Yep. I got sucked into this one. A great premise and well-written. It flows and you do the dialect well. How fun to think about the what ifs at the end of the world. I love that Gramps has ethics and manners, and is teaching Luke. The YA market is going to eat this up. Backed!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

HJ,

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it, pardon the delay in replying. Had to deal with some unpleasantness before moving on to the real life...

rick

I have to disagree with those who have commented on the difficulty of the dialect, but then I come from an area where most of the people speak a dialect very similar to this one. I also liked the depth of the characterization and the kindness of the boy and his grandfather.

Here's my question, though: Did I read too quickly and miss something? If the world as we know it has ended and they haven't seen anyone in 40 knots, how is it that there is still a sporting goods store, a clothing store, and, of all things, a Wal-Mart? Should I read on to find out?

Estelene,

Ah, thanks for the comments. Yes, imagine yourself in the middle of that other English speaking country with all its Cockney and other dialects of English. Blimey! As if they didn’t do bad enough for the language, the colonies proved that we could ruin language better than they could, hence Hillbilly, Cowboy, Cajun and other ditties that make English the most bastardized language in five continents.

To answer your question in two ways:

ONE. Yes, please, do read on and find out on your own. Oh, did I mention that this is a series of nine books, which is not complete?

TWO. I designed the books to reveal, little by little, the foreign world that Lone Eagle and Gramps created to survive in, and the explanation to where did the Wal-Mart come from, is in book three, which is 80 percent complete and almost ready to be posted here. However as you go into the books that becomes immaterial except as a matter of information.

The fact is the world ended and things remained. But, the mystery of stepping into a world that is being described by a thirteen-year-old boy, is that he sees the world from his point of view, and Wal-Mart has always been there, hence, no need to explain it… yet!

The explanation comes when more of the early portion of The Fall comes to the forefront through flashbacks of the characters that are old enough to have lived before The Fall. In the meanwhile, two books have gone by and Luke is in a very crowded world, compared to his first thirteen years.

So, please, do read on, book two is also up and complete in case you, like most of the readers who have seen this, decide it is a page-turner and can’t stay away from these characters.

Thank you for your support,

rick

I have to disagree with those who have commented on the difficulty of the dialect, but then I come from an area where most of the people speak a dialect very similar to this one. I also liked the depth of the characterization and the kindness of the boy and his grandfather.

Here's my question, though: Did I read too quickly and miss something? If the world as we know it has ended and they haven't seen anyone in 40 knots, how is it that there is still a sporting goods store, a clothing store, and, of all things, a Wal-Mart? Should I read on to find out?

Yep. I got sucked into this one. A great premise and well-written. It flows and you do the dialect well. How fun to think about the what ifs at the end of the world. I love that Gramps has ethics and manners, and is teaching Luke. The YA market is going to eat this up. Backed!

HJ
The Pearl Edda

RE Kelly

Pitch
Luke is a lanky strong boy.....how about tall strong boy.....(more complimentary)
thirteen years.....Over the years........sounded repetitive.....how about.......during that time....
Luke has never ever seen.....should be.....Luke had never seen

C1
He hadn't seen anyone in 40 knots....(well maybe I'm stupid, but I thought briefly they were on a boat)...

at the time. First time....(repetitive)

never seen a never live one.......typo....never seen a live one.

'What the hells a string' the woman asked.......And I thought, good for you for asking, because I was thinking exactly the same thing myself......But in a flash of genius, I worked it out a couple of paragraphs later.....It's a 'clock/ calander' I think the 'knots & string' business needs clarifying from the beginning, or dropped.

You should introduce charatcers when you bring them into the story,.....When the two women met with Luke and his Grandfather I expected an exchange of names.

The narration was fine, but if I'm honest I struggled with the dialogue....

'After ten knots passed' the grandfather said........He sounds like a cross between a wagon hand from Oklahoma and Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.....It's far too heavy, to have 4 characters, all main players with such a thick brogue.....I was exhausted...........But maybe that's just me.....so take that comment more as a consequence of my personal taste, and NOT as a reflection on your literary skills.....

This is a fabulous premise, and a cracking storyline....But my personal view is that the writing language slows the reader down....I am no expert in the YA market, although I do have 2 teenagers and if I'm honest they speak and write in hieroglyphics half the time, with their text & facebook 'speak'.....They are lazy readers...........................I had to work at this.....Mmmmm,,, would they?

That said, you've done the hard bit, you've got 16 chapters here....I flicked back and forth, there is much to commend......I'm happy to support.....

Shelved with good wishes...

paxie,

paxie,

First, thanks fro the suggestions and comments, will take care of that extra never, which, BTW, is not in the original before I uploaded so it is a burp from the site and I flat missed it. Thanks. d;-]

Second, I needed to take away certain things from the reader’s mind. The first was a concept of time, so the initial forty knots defines time on my terms. Knot 200 is somewhere around July but only I know that. You are the second of about 300 readers who has thought it was a unit of nautical measurement. Removing the knot concept would be throwing the books away as the title of the first volume implies, MY LIFE IN KNOTS.

Third, the vernacular dialect while cumbersome does not last long and it’s part of the thirteen-year-old who is writing the books. He will mature as the series develops. They are in the middle of the south western US not Trafalgar, they’re supposed to sound like wagon hands. How would anyone sound if they’d had limited conversations for thirteen years? It is a result of the laziness of speech the colonies developed as we
bastardiz[s]ed the King’s English into our own peculiar communication.

The YA market is different on this side of the pond as some of my first readers were YA and early teens who immediately selected a character and identified with them, mostly Erin for girls and Luke for boys. By this time 2/3/10 the dialect is quite thinned down you should have seen the first draft four years ago… and just to add a bit more confusion to the languages by the chapter which I titled “Unskilled Labo[u]r” Spanish shows up and stays for about a book as the Mexicans remember their English. Will it work? I hope so!

Lastly, this, “and NOT as a reflection on your literary skills” I have no literary skills! I wrote a series of books, which purposely is riddled with bad grammar and blamed it on the narrator’s age, but it bought me time to learn English… the rules anyway. The nine books will show a lot about what is wrong with the world today and how these people fix it when the world ends suddenly and they get an opportunity to rebuild it.

Will it work? I sure hope so. I got rave reviews in another writing website, I have had schoolteachers, a variety of adults and kids read it and all begged for more. Give both books a read and see if all my efforts are visible or if I should stop trying to publish this conglomerate of bad grammar and radical thoughts. Suggestions gladly accepted and cheerfully used, or rejected depending on my vision of the story. I have spent years working on this, and am not too proud not to listen to all constructive suggestions; they can only improve my sow’s ear.

Thank you for your help and backing.

rick

RE Kelly

Pitch
Luke is a lanky strong boy.....how about tall strong boy.....(more complimentary)
thirteen years.....Over the years........sounded repetitive.....how about.......during that time....
Luke has never ever seen.....should be.....Luke had never seen

C1
He hadn't seen anyone in 40 knots....(well maybe I'm stupid, but I thought briefly they were on a boat)...

at the time. First time....(repetitive)

never seen a never live one.......typo....never seen a live one.

'What the hells a string' the woman asked.......And I thought, good for you for asking, because I was thinking exactly the same thing myself......But in a flash of genius, I worked it out a couple of paragraphs later.....It's a 'clock/ calander' I think the 'knots & string' business needs clarifying from the beginning, or dropped.

You should introduce charatcers when you bring them into the story,.....When the two women met with Luke and his Grandfather I expected an exchange of names.

The narration was fine, but if I'm honest I struggled with the dialogue....

'After ten knots passed' the grandfather said........He sounds like a cross between a wagon hand from Oklahoma and Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean.....It's far too heavy, to have 4 characters, all main players with such a thick brogue.....I was exhausted...........But maybe that's just me.....so take that comment more as a consequence of my personal taste, and NOT as a reflection on your literary skills.....

This is a fabulous premise, and a cracking storyline....But my personal view is that the writing language slows the reader down....I am no expert in the YA market, although I do have 2 teenagers and if I'm honest they speak and write in hieroglyphics half the time, with their text & facebook 'speak'.....They are lazy readers...........................I had to work at this.....Mmmmm,,, would they?

That said, you've done the hard bit, you've got 16 chapters here....I flicked back and forth, there is much to commend......I'm happy to support.....

Shelved with good wishes...

This is an unusual take on a well-worn theme and works very well. Seeing the world, or what remains of it, through Luke's "13 string" eyes is a nice touch as we get to see his simplistic view of events, free of outside influences. It's a charming story in many ways, easy-paced and with a long opening chapter it becomes essential for the story to fix the audience. It certainly did with me.
You write very well, setting the events before the reader in a logical fashion. One of the best YA books I've read here with a good MC in Luke who, together with the savvy wisdom of Gramps in the background, is an excellent guide through the events that unfold. Backed.
Jared.

Thank you for your support and complimets,

rick

This is an unusual take on a well-worn theme and works very well. Seeing the world, or what remains of it, through Luke's "13 string" eyes is a nice touch as we get to see his simplistic view of events, free of outside influences. It's a charming story in many ways, easy-paced and with a long opening chapter it becomes essential for the story to fix the audience. It certainly did with me.
You write very well, setting the events before the reader in a logical fashion. One of the best YA books I've read here with a good MC in Luke who, together with the savvy wisdom of Gramps in the background, is an excellent guide through the events that unfold. Backed.
Jared.

This is a very original book. The end of the world isn't original, but your treatment and development of the idea certainly is. I like Gramps, a kind, smart, feisty character who doesn't let anyone walk over him, but wants to help as far as he can. His preparations for what he knew was coming are excellent. You have shown great imagination and insight in working out what he needed to do, and how he could do it. Luke is an interesting character, a boy growing up, seeing a girl for the first time, another unusual and interesting idea. Your style is good, and you have given Gramps a very individual voice, which brings him alive. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

GM,

Thanks for the compliments and backing. I have been a bit busy to return favors but you're on the list. I am glad you see the underlying effort of the book[s] there will be nine of them when the series is complete, and there are surprises galore. I tried to make them seem as if a thirteen-year-old boy is writing them and improved the grammar gradually to the end of the series. So far, I have two up and running. My producer (wife and love of my life, but don’t tell her, she gets a big head ;-]) is frantically getting them ready for the POD market, you know, Kindle and all its offshoots. Book three fills in tons of blanks created in books one and two and it is 80 percent complete, as soon as I finish it will be up and ready for critiques and comments.
Thank you so much for taking the time, and I hope you enjoy them I will be in tour file cabinet soon and take a gander at your project, in the meantime thanks and … Read on!

rick

This is a very original book. The end of the world isn't original, but your treatment and development of the idea certainly is. I like Gramps, a kind, smart, feisty character who doesn't let anyone walk over him, but wants to help as far as he can. His preparations for what he knew was coming are excellent. You have shown great imagination and insight in working out what he needed to do, and how he could do it. Luke is an interesting character, a boy growing up, seeing a girl for the first time, another unusual and interesting idea. Your style is good, and you have given Gramps a very individual voice, which brings him alive. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi, RE. Read just a little of this. Excellent... plot (according to the pitch), writing, etc. I'm just going to back it. I'll come back for more when time permits. Best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Thanks for the comment, good luck with yours still have not had time to get to it but I know where it is , right on the top shelf...

I just stopped in to see what condition my condition was in, and thought I'd reply before going to the old grindstone to stick my head on it...

Thanks again,

rick

Hi RE. Just read the first two chapters. This is a gentler and more thoughtful tale than the apocalyptic tagline would suggest. It’s probably a lot more realistic than most of ‘end-of-the-world’ fiction. In times of serious trouble, as in other times, most people just try to get by as best they can, and that seems to be the attitude here. In terms of the writing, this flows well. The dialogue is lively and credible. There are no clumsy info-dumps, and though the pacing is rather slow, the piece has an odd charm to it. Good luck with this. Shelved. All the best, Michael

Thanks for reading and commenting on my little tale. I hope it speeds up as you go along. Just about everybody that has read it has said it is impossible to put down. One of my friends read the first fifty pages on his comute home the day he got the draft in e-mail. he lives about forty miles from work and it is all freeway time in Houston so he had time to read as he creeped along with the rest of the commuters.

Thanks again, I will try to return the favor during my next reading session. I work five to midnight so I have little time now...

rick

Hi, RE. Read just a little of this. Excellent... plot (according to the pitch), writing, etc. I'm just going to back it. I'll come back for more when time permits. Best of luck with it.

John Harold McCoy - Bramwell Valley

Interesting premise, and writing that's so easy on the eyes after the umpteenth book that its a real comfort. I want this book in print! So, I guess I'll have to back it to see that it gets there!

Thanks for the comments, I hope lots of people want this book in print. I am tired of being the only one that does...

Thanks again

rick

Interesting premise, and writing that's so easy on the eyes after the umpteenth book that its a readl comfort. I want this book in print! So, I guess I'll have to back it to see that it gets there!

Thanks for the comments, I hope lots of people want this book in print. I am tired of being the only one that does...

Thanks again

rick

Interesting premise, and writing that's so easy on the eyes after the umpteenth book that its a readl comfort. I want this book in print! So, I guess I'll have to back it to see that it gets there!

Thanks for the comments, I hope lots of people want this book in print. I am tired of being the only one that does...

Thanks again

rick

Interesting premise, and writing that's so easy on the eyes after the umpteenth book that its a readl comfort. I want this book in print! So, I guess I'll have to back it to see that it gets there!

Thanks for the comments, I hope lots of people want this book in print. I am tired of being the only one that does...

Thanks again

rick

Likeable characters, well thought out structure and plot, and quite an individual style of writing. I think the dialogue is good. The writing flows and I think it should do well.

Backed,

ww Lisa

A Fine Line

Thanks for the commentary and the encouragement. Obviously I hope it does well enough to find its way to the top of the hill... d;-]

Thanks again

rick

Love the characters you have created and the dialogue is very believable.

VEry well written and a pleasure to read.

Melxx
UNICORN

Thanks for the comments and compliments. Glad you're enjoying it. Book two is now up so thete is no lag in the enjoyment ;-]

Thanks againn,

rick

What I've read of your story is well written and convincing. I particularly like the idea of the bees being key. Your long pitch isn't doing you any favours though. It isn't nearly as good as the book.

Thanks for the heads up and compliments, I will see if I can doctor it up so that it enhances the book rather than hinder it.

Thanks again,

rick

i've read the first chapter of this, and i'm impressed. The characters are credible, and it's a fascinating spin on what is (or was) a tired idea. i've often thought about writing an armageddon-based story, but thought the idea perhaps a little cliché. You've dodged that masterfully. I've a few reads which i need to return, but this is one i'll be coming back for.
If you get the chance, would you mind taking a look at mine and telling me what you think?
Phil

Thank you for the compliments and just to tease you a bit, I have posted book two, which continues the story of these survivors.

Thanks again,

rick

The premise makes me think of Lamb by Christopher Moore. Your book and his are nothing alike, especially in terms of style and actual content, but it's the whole angel thing that reminded me of Moore's work. Best of luck!

I am honored that my work is compared to a REAL writer, thanks!

rick

Interesting premise, and writing that's so easy on the eyes after the umpteenth book that its a readl comfort. I want this book in print! So, I guess I'll have to back it to see that it gets there!

Likeable characters, well thought out structure and plot, and quite an individual style of writing. I think the dialogue is good. The writing flows and I think it should do well.

Backed,

ww Lisa

A Fine Line

Love the characters you have created and the dialogue is very believable.

VEry well written and a pleasure to read.

Melxx
UNICORN

What I've read of your story is well written and convincing. I particularly like the idea of the bees being key. Your long pitch isn't doing you any favours though. It isn't nearly as good as the book.

i've read the first chapter of this, and i'm impressed. The characters are credible, and it's a fascinating spin on what is (or was) a tired idea. i've often thought about writing an armageddon-based story, but thought the idea perhaps a little cliché. You've dodged that masterfully. I've a few reads which i need to return, but this is one i'll be coming back for.
If you get the chance, would you mind taking a look at mine and telling me what you think?
Phil

The premise makes me think of Lamb by Christopher Moore. Your book and his are nothing alike, especially in terms of style and actual content, but it's the whole angel thing that reminded me of Moore's work. Best of luck!