Book Jacket

 

rank 5320
word count 16590
date submitted 23.01.2010
date updated 17.02.2010
genres: Fantasy, Young Adult
classification: universal
incomplete

The Goodnight Agency

Tyler Tork

Living with her weird uncle, troublemaking Ruby learns that his agency's reclusive clients aren't human! That works for her; but then the trouble starts....

 

Ruby Morgan's parents are in prison for blowing up a post office. Though they didn't harm anyone, this is a social handicap for Ruby. She's a misfit and troublemaker, but finds her niche with her odd Uncle Simon, and the hidden, diverse community of non-humans that his secretive agency serves.

But Ruby's world falls apart again when Simon is arrested for murder. Ruby learns dangerous secrets that put her in a position to find the real killer; she must clear Simon, and fast, or lose her happy home.

The politics are complex. A misstep could expose her new friends to the mundanes, or start a little war. Can Ruby trust the vigilante Enforcers? They might do anything to preserve secrecy, and let justice go hang. Can she believe mystical and perhaps unbalanced Ms. Wheelwright? Seymour might be willing to help, but about all he can do from his tank is send email.

The world of Simon Goodnight is a place of secrets, surprises, covert conflicts and odd alliances. Come with Ruby through the door of the Goodnight Agency, and explore.

Complete at 86,000 words (but only partially posted).

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

magic, modern, monsters, mystery, urban

on 4 watchlists

42 comments

 

Text Size

Text Colour

Chapters

1

1

report abuse

Chapter 1

Having used up her last aunt, Ruby Morgan came at last to rest on the doorstep of her weird Uncle Simon in Chicago.  A drift of boxes and bags accumulated around her, as the driver unloaded her life from the van.  As she watched, she listened to the Blue Animals on her music player, singing along under her breath, Break another one, break another one for me.

She overtipped the driver, just to get rid of the last of the travel money, the last thing she had that Aunt Julie had given her.  Then she turned to face the soot-stained brownstone at the end of day, and peered through the beveled glass of the door.  A tarnished brass plaque beside the door read, "Simon Goodnight," then on the next line, "The Goodnight Agency."

Too dark inside to see much.  She looked in vain for a doorbell button before noticing a dirty grey rope with a threadbare yellow tassel on the end, dangling off to one side.  She pulled it, and could faintly hear ringing inside.

After a moment, the door jerked open, and her uncle peered out at her, looking distracted.  "What... oh, it's you.  Come along, and be quiet until I've done my business.  Don't touch anything."  He turned to walk away down the dimly lit hallway, then on second thought, turned back and picked up the nearest piece of luggage, a large box that contained all her specimens, individually wrapped in bubble wrap and tied with twine for security.

"Careful with that!" she called after him, struggling to collect three suitcases and get everything through the door.  She ran back a couple times for more boxes, dumped everything at the foot of the stairs, and walked through a door covered in green felt, which Simon had left open behind him.

Walking into Uncle Simon's study was like stepping into the past.  The whole large room was done up in dark wood and red velvet, every wall covered with built-in shelves and every shelf packed with books, with not a single paperback among them.  Glass display cases and small round lace-covered tables full of bric-a-brac stood around on the floor, which was covered with an overlapping and apparently random arrangement of old, ornate, threadbare rugs.  One corner was taken up by a huge old polished desk, overhung by a large Tiffany floor lamp, the sole source of light except for evening sunlight coming in through tall, narrow windows.  Uncle Simon sat behind the desk, looking very much a part of the decor in a dark-green suit, black shirt, and red string tie with silver beads on the end.  Across from him, his back to Ruby, another man perched on a spindly-legged chair, leaning over the desk to sort through a collection of items spread out over it.

"Where the devil do you get these things, Simon?" the man said.  He reached into a large canvas bag on the floor and pulled out a thick, dog-eared catalog.

"That would be telling," Simon said. He glanced at Ruby, then his eyes flicked to the couch next to her.  Interpreting this as an instruction, Ruby sat.  She started to lean against the arm and put her feet up, but another look from Simon stopped her.

"This can't be real," the man said.  "There are only three of them and I know where they all are."

"You'd best call the people who have them to make sure theirs haven't gone missing," Simon said.

"Oh, I trust you, I just don't think it's real."

"Take it with you while you check it out.  If it turns out to be genuine, how much will it bring?"

"Hard to say; nobody's sold one in twenty years.  No papers on it, I suppose?"

Simon shook his head and ran a finger over his thin blond mustache.  "A friend of mine found it in his attic."

"Your friends have the most interesting attics," the man muttered.  "Thirty, at least."  Carefully, almost reverently, he set it into a padded case that rested on the desk beside him, and reached for the next item.

Ruby, bored, put her headset back on and listened to music, kicking her feet and looking around the room.  Eventually the man stood, picking up his bag of catalogs and a padded briefcase containing a few of the objects.  He was a short and rotund, with thinning ginger-colored hair.  He paused in front of Ruby, and set the bag down.  "You must be the niece," he said, offering his hand.  "Octavian McTeague."

"Yeah, I'm Ruby."  Ruby took off the headset, stood, and managed a smile.  His hand was cool and dry, and trembled slightly.  "With a name like that, you must come from a large family."

Octavian looked at Simon, who had come up beside him.  "Knows some Latin," he remarked.  "Yes, young lady, and all boys.  What are the odds, eh?"

"One in sixty-four. No," she corrected, blushing, and hating herself for doing so, "two hundred fifty-six, if you're the youngest."

Octavian laughed, and reached up to the breast pocket of his jacket.  "My card.  It's been a pleasure, but I must run along.  I'm sure we'll meet again."

Returning from showing the visitor out, Simon sat in a padded chair, and put his feet up on an ottoman -- he wore red and gold brocade slippers with pointed toes.  He rested his chin on his steepled forefingers and looked her over.  She looked back at him defiantly, determined not to squirm under his scrutiny despite feeling distinctly grubby and underdressed in a black t-shirt, travel-rumpled black skirt, and sneakers.  While waiting for him to talk, she nervously flicked the edge of Octavian's card with her thumbnail.  Nobody had ever given her his card before, and she was unsure what to do with it.

"You look very like your mother," Uncle Simon said at last.

"So do you, except for your height and build and hair and face."

Simon almost smiled.  "We had different fathers," he said.  "I hope you're like her in other ways."

"Why, do you need something blown up?"

He regarded her in silence, and she looked away.  "I was referring," he said, "to her ability to keep secrets and to deal calmly with the unexpected.  I'm in an... unusual line of work, and my home is also sometimes my place of business.  Anyone who lives here must be capable of tact and discretion; I'm also quite busy.  That's why I was reluctant to have a child in the house."

"I'm not a child; I'm fourteen," Ruby protested, which prompted another half-smile from Simon.  "I can take care of myself."

"Perhaps.  But so far, you haven't demonstrated tact.  I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it's only for want of trying.  It must be clearly understood how you deal with any of my clients who come to this house."

"All right, shoot."

"I made some notes."  Simon took a small black notebook from an inside pocket of his suit, and opened it to a page marked with a ribbon.  "If I'm available, let me get the door.  I see clients in this room.  If I'm already in here with someone, or out of the house, you'll have to let them in.  After you let them in, inquire what they want, and show them into the drawing room, across the hall.  Never leave someone alone in this room for more than a few seconds."

"Let them in first, then ask?"

"Yes, if it looks like they might be a client.  You mustn't stare at them, or show any surprise, or ask questions.  In fact, it might be best not to look directly at them."

"Well holy crow, what kind of clients do you have?"

"Unusual ones.  Are we clear so far?"

"Okay," Ruby said, mystified but managing to hide it, she hoped.

"Other rules of the house.  Touch nothing without asking.  Some things are delicate; others dangerous.  Meals are promptly at eight, noon and seven; be here then if you want to eat.  Home by ten unless by prior arrangement.  Stay out of the basement.  Stay out of the attic.  Don't pry into my business."

He looked at her expectantly.  "Got it," she said.

He nodded and flipped a page in the notebook.  "About money.  I'll start you out with fifteen dollars a week allowance and a transit pass.  If you think you need more, keep track of how you spend it and we can discuss it.  There's a petty cash in the top right desk drawer, which isn't locked.  Use that to pay for C.O.D. packages, or if I'm out and you have to buy yourself meals, or I send you out for groceries, anything like that.  If you take from petty cash, note it in the notebook.  In case of emergency, if I'm not here, there's more cash taped to the underside of the third drawer on the right, which is locked.  The key is in the spine of Collected Sermons of Wallace Blevin, on that shelf.  I figure nobody will try to read it.  Don't open the other drawers."  Simon put the notebook away.  "Questions?"

"You really trust me with your emergency cash?"

"Are you saying that's a mistake?"

"No," Ruby said, though she felt a flash of doubt.  "It's -- well -- let's just say none of the aunts trusted me with anything.  Because of my parents, you know."

"I don't understand what's wrong with them," Simon said, sounding frustrated.  "I can't believe sometimes we grew up in the same house.  I don't assume you're the same as your parents, and even if you were, I never knew either of them to steal anything."

"No," Ruby said dryly.  "Only destroy government property."

"You have nothing against the postal service yourself, I assume?"

"Not positively."

"Then you get the benefit of the doubt in this house.  Don't make me regret it, right?"

"Okay."

Simon put the notebook away.  "What happened between you and Julie, anyway?  She was a little incoherent on the phone."

"Well, she made it impossible for me from the start.  She made sure everybody knew my parents were in prison and what for, so of course everybody at school was certain I was a terrorist."

"Okay, but what did you do?  She said something about treeing the neighbor's son?"

"Well, yes, I chased him up a tree, but he'd kept tormenting me, and he felt me up!  Anyway, it wasn't a real gun."

"I'm guessing he didn't know that at the time?  And then there was something about owl pellets."

"That was probably the last straw," Ruby admitted.  "It was an accident.  I'd forgotten I had them in my pockets, and they went into the wash."

"What is an owl pellet, exactly?"

"You know cats and hair balls?  It's like that.  Anything an owl eats and can't digest, they cough up.  Hair, mouse bones, ..."

"Yes, that wouldn't be fun to have in the wash.  And you were carrying this around in your pockets, why?"

"I dissect them, to see what the owl ate.  Sometimes I can get a complete skeleton out.  Then I glue it together."

Simon looked still unsure why anyone would want to do this; he shrugged.  "We'll be careful what goes into the laundry here, yes?"

"For sure.  Anyway, I'd be surprised if there were an owl within twenty miles of here."

"All right.  And there'll be no chasing people with guns, real or otherwise?"

"Not unless it's absolutely necessary."

"Good.  Any other questions?"

Ruby paused, then took the plunge.  "What exactly is it you do?"

"This is what I meant about prying into my business."

"I'm just asking; you can answer or not.  But what do I say when people ask?"

"If someone asks who has no business to know, I say I'm a financial advisor."

Ruby smiled.  Her Aunt Edith's husband was in that line of work, and he had an often-repeated complaint.  "Don't people try to get free stock tips?" she asked.

"Yes."  A clock on the mantle chimed, and Simon turned to look.  "Time to start dinner.  Can you cook?"

"I can chop."

"It's a start.  I'll show you your room, you get cleaned up, then meet me in the kitchen."  He stood, rubbing his hands.  "It's tarragon quail and carrot soup tonight."

Ruby thought fish sticks and mashed potatoes might be more her speed, but didn't say it as she followed him upstairs, suitcases in hand.

Chapters

1

1

report abuse

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
Katherine Edwards wrote 525 days ago

Good luck with this. I've enjoyed what I've read so far. Ruby is a great character. Katherine Strata

soutexmex wrote 659 days ago

Tyler: the short pitch works. That long pitch? Well, drop that last paragraph, at least the "Come with Ruby ..." part. Don't explain, sell the story to the casual reader. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Burgio wrote 659 days ago

This is a wild story. Ruby is a great main character; she's likable and very sympathetic because as you say in your first paragraph, "She's run out of aunts." And now has found herself involved with the strangest agency ever. All that combined makes his a fun read. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

lionel25 wrote 691 days ago

Tyler, your first chapter reads smoothly. I like the originality of the opening sentence. Good work.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Jim Darcy wrote 706 days ago

A sort of Men In Black meets Sanctuary. I enjoyed what I read. Ruby is a feisty MC and quickly grows on the reader, like a rash you want to scratch but quite enjoy really. Jim Darcy Serpent's Blood.
ps feeling dim today but what is a 'brownstone'?

JenniferThorne wrote 713 days ago

I quite liked this. It's sort of like a snarky Charles de Lint style (my favourite author, by the way). Backed. And best of luck.

Bradley Wind wrote 714 days ago

Tyler
I like the cover...works very well on authonomy.
Pitches: short=good! Long=very good.
There is a really interesting baroque quality to your writing...mainly in the names and settings.
I find the writing to be very clear/few extraneous bits...all flow and have me interested in Ruby/her uncle and what will happen with his business and her ..troublemaking potential.
Best of luck with this!
-=Bradley

August74 wrote 717 days ago

This is sooooooo good. The writing is tidy, evocative and smooth. The dialogue is excellent. I read a lot of bad dialogue so this was a breath of fresh air. You establish a great relationship between Ruby and simon straight away. His willingness to trust her and her honesty about her past behaviour - which is funny and charming. The curious content of his home and Ruby's obvious intelligence make this a compelling start and one that I plan to read more of.
I would perhaps keep the nature of simon's work out of the pitch and leave it as a reveal. int towards something other worldly but don't give it away. I think it would give the rules section of chapter one more power, particularly the 'not loking directly at' the clients.
I genuinely don't understand why this isn't higher up the charts.
I think there is an enormous market for this kind of book which would appeal to both slightly older kids and YA.
I can see this ispart of a series. Ruby is as distinct a child heroine as Potter. This really desreves to do well and I wish you every success with it.

An absolute pleasure and backed with real joy.

Kindest Regards,

Alethea

G.M. Cross wrote 720 days ago

Your first line is an insanely good hook. I love the use of the word "exhausted." I feel like in this case it could mean either her aunts were literally exhausted by her presence, or the definition meaning "used up," or both. That may just be me. Anyway, I greatly enjoyed the first chapter and honestly can't wait to come back and read the rest when it isn't so late at night. I'm backing this with a smile on my face and fondly wish you good luck with it in the future!

-G.M. Cross

udasmaan wrote 720 days ago

A very interesting for me. Backed

shah

wordreiver wrote 721 days ago

Your pitch made me want to read this book - different and interesting. Your writing style is fluent and easy to read. A few typos and misplaced words but nothing a good edit won't sort out. The story so far is compelling. I like Ruby - she dissects owl pellets - I liked that! Your characters have interesting names and I can see this developing into quite an original and well-plotted story. Good luck. GJ.

Jesse Hargreave wrote 722 days ago

Backed February 1.

Jesse - Savant

bonalibro wrote 726 days ago

Hi,

I have backed you book because I found it eminently readable
and have to cover 25 books a day just to keep my place on here.
If you would like a more specific comment please return the favor.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

paxie wrote 729 days ago

Tyler
I love the premise, and your pitch is a fabulous magnet......I made a couple of notes as I read....

the last thing (she had that) Aunt Julie had given her.
vis a vis
the last thing Aunt Julie had given her....


She overtipped the driver, just to get rid (of the ) rest (of the) travel money.
vis a vis.
with the last of the travel money, she overtipped the driver ....

Other rules (of the) house............Other house rules.

Stay out (of the) basement. (Stay out of the) attic.............Stay out of the basement and attic.

I became concious of overseeing 'of the' .......Mmm...Maybe do a word search, if I became aware of it enough to sit up and start looking then there is a definate repitition.....

I enjoyed the read, your MC is a bit of a handful.....in a nice way, although not sure I'd want her living with me...

Shelved with best wishes.

Bob Steele wrote 730 days ago

The Goodnight Agency has an intriguing pitch that tempted me 'through the door'. I enjoyed Ruby and her style [used up her last Aunt, for example] - she is a character who comes to life in a way that will appeal to the YA audience. Simon and Octavian add spice too, and the journey from the doorstep to the thing in the tank in Simon's lab was an enjoyable one. This is an easy read in a chatty, modern style that fits the YA audience, and I'm confident it will do well. I'll be happy to back this.

SareyFairy wrote 732 days ago

Hi Tyler

I have read all five chapters and enjoyed every minute. This is very different and I know that young readers will just love Ruby and her tom boy ways. The 'monsters' are great and I would love an Uncle like that, how exciting?
Ruby is a great strong, quirky character and I am sure she will appeal to the boys too as she is not too silly for them to like.
Backed
Sarah. T-cup and The Dream Team Fairies

MacG wrote 733 days ago

Entertaining read, and your dialogue carried it along nicely.

Haven't had fish sticks for years!

Backed

MG

Rosali Webb wrote 736 days ago

Tyler
Chapter one was easy to follow due to the good dialogue and interesting blog. Ruby is a likable young girl to follow and reader's will gladly soak up the investigation. All the best. Backed. Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

plsullivan wrote 739 days ago

Tyler--Echo the nice comments others have provided. The characters are engaging, dialogue is fun and snappy. Creepy things things going on...great fun.

klouholmes wrote 740 days ago

Hi Tyler, I loved the title, Simon's last name, and his dialogue. The descriptions and dialogue generally work together to give a very familiar picture of Ruby and her uncle, making them both likable. So far, the intrigue mounts and working it into a lifestyle adds to the amusement. I'm still trying to figure out how such charming characters can be associated with horrific crimes and creatures. The writing is excellent so that I find myself slowing to savor some of the paragraphs. You certainly have something here! Shelved - Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

McRae by Nature wrote 740 days ago

I read all that you have posted here and thought it was great. I loved Uncle Simon's personality soooo much and I really like the fact that this is not really a romance. I am not fond of romantic books. I really think that this is very intersting, especially bat boy and Uncle Simon's other clients. I am excited to know more about what he does and how it will involve Ruby. This book is going on my bookshelf, it has loads of potential and I think it will do really well.

Carrie L McRae
The Keeper of Adamas

Barry Wenlock wrote 741 days ago

This is fine work - amusing and with a lively MC. original ideas and lively dialogue. A winner. Backed. barry
(Little Krisna and the BIhar Boys)

gillyflower wrote 742 days ago

A very amusing book. The pitch promises an exciting plot as we move on. Ruby is a great central character, a girl with an unusual past and her own way of dealing with it. Leaving owl pellets in her pockets so that they went into the wash may have been carelessness, but chasing a boy who tormented her up a tree with a toy gun shows us how strong, feisty, and determined she is; and makes us interested in her, and ready to like her, straightaway. Uncle Simon is an eccentric and attractive person, too, and the mix looks set for sparkling developments. You write well, with lots of humour and a straight forward, clear style. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Vonia Jackson wrote 742 days ago

Clever, clever writing. Great story flow and dialogue as well.
(Sasquatch? Really? I hope so! Put more of your book on, right now, I command you!)
Backed,
Voni
The Bell Ridge Cave

Freeman wrote 742 days ago

Interesting soup, I’ve never had that. I think you have an original plot full of intrigue. This is well written with great characters and realistic narrative. I am sure this will appeal to you YA readers. I will back it with great pleasure.

Tony
Life Bringer

setondan wrote 743 days ago

Great cover and title. The story-line is intriguing, and it has a lot of hooks to draw the reader in. Lot of skillfull assesments within its content, which is a good thing. Great job.

T.L Tyson wrote 743 days ago

This is a delightful novel. I love the name and cover but more so the premise. You have a fantastic opening line there. There is quirk and oddity throughout which captures the reader. I think you have something here. The idea is fun and engaging, something I think YA would really enjoy. You have a knack for drawing characters. I like Ruby, you have the female teen down pat. And I love the last line of the first chapter.
There are some good hooks in this, the pitch being the main one. It causes the reader to think, well if they aren't human what the heck are they? And what sort of trouble will start? You do a fantastic job of drawing someone in to want to read this and I really cannot stress enough how much I adore the name of your book. Premise, cover and pitch alone would have had me buying this.
Wonderful.
Didn't pick up on any writing nits that could help you, unfortunately. I think you have a good story. the only note I wrote down was, great stuff and other such unhelpful tidbits.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

bookjunky wrote 744 days ago

Tyler,

I read your pitch for "The Goodnight Agency" and thought, "How cool is that?" After reading the five chapters you've posted, the answer was obvious. "Very cool." No nits to offer that won't be spotted in the course of normal revisions. Well done and Backed!
If you get a chance, would you mind checking out my novel, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? Much appreciated.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, Wild Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

lnagode wrote 744 days ago

Hello! My name is Lindsay and I am seeking some feedback for my book, Parker and the Parallelium. I'm hoping to find some good advice for my next round of edits. Anything you could offer would be greatly appreciated! I'd be happy to swap reads if you are interested- just let me know. Thanks for your time!

Lindsay Nagode
Parker and the Parallelium: Into the Beyond

Julia Siboney wrote 744 days ago

This is truly original, I love it! I'm not much into comments, I just want to thank you for this wonderful read. It deserves all the publishing it can get, it has a bit of Gaiman in it and the story just rolls out and catches me. Well done and really, I wish you the best with this book.

Julia
Children of Light

John Adamson wrote 745 days ago

Its not a bad book, Has a lot of potential, It's no good having ten good chapters at the end of a book, you have to grab an agent in the first page even, in the first few lines, thats why you are on authonomy , so we can help make our books beter, your on the way, I'll look at this book again and maybe next time I'll back it
John

Raymond Nickford wrote 745 days ago

Good opening description of setting lends immediacy and involvement as Ruby is on the way to her uncle at his Midnight Agency. This eye for cogent detail is maintained throughout the first chapter and woven neatly between the dialogue as we eavesdrop on a very realistic and crisp exchange between Uncle Simon and the man in his shop.
The dialogue between Uncle Simon and Ruby, as he gives her 'the rules of house conduct', so to speak, nevertheless shows that the uncle has real warmth, understanding and sympathy for his niece, bearing in mind the emptiness created for her by the behaviour of her parents.
You do a very good job of conveying maximum narrative ground with a relative minimum of narrative exposition, once dialogue is under way, that is. This brought me much closer to the Uncle-niece relationship at its best and provided a sure sign that your observation of character would continue to deepen and engage as each character is thrown into a storyline full of intrigue and challenges for Ruby. Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Beval wrote 745 days ago

Uncle Simon is a man with some really stunning clients. I can see Ruby is going to have a lot of excitment out of them.
Ruby herself is well drawn, typical teenager attitude over laying a vulnerable and easily hurt little girl.
This has a nice imaginative story line and a plot with lots of potential.
Backed.

missyfleming_22 wrote 746 days ago

Great unique story! Hard to find something that doesn't follow the herd and you've done a wonderful job with this!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

C.P. wrote 746 days ago

This is quirky. Your story is the kind that would cause even the sleepiest imagination to come alive. There were a couple of places that I thought the wording was off but that could be just because we are, I think, from different pars of the world. This is a wonderful little piece. All the best
Connie

MiniMePom wrote 746 days ago

Very interesting premise! Backed.

gerry01 wrote 746 days ago

Hi Tyler,
I'd appreciate it if you could have a quick look at my book 'The Cup Snatchers' and give a few comments. I'll do likewise. Cheers, Gerry

zenup wrote 746 days ago

This is wonderful. Arresting title, great dialogue, characters (Ruby casually revealing her skills in Latin and maths, wow) - terrific setup. And love the cheerleader-bimbospeak! Backed, with pleasure.

Suzannah Burke wrote 746 days ago

The characters jumped out and grabbed me. I didn't mind at all. This is a delight to read, Ruby is endearingly funny, and yet the character has depth, and is possibly Savant from the little I'ved so far.

This is gut level funny, and moving at the same time..oh how I wish I'd had an Uncle Simon.

Backed with much pleasure.
Suzannah Burke

Nick Poole2 wrote 746 days ago

This is a good place to start. Arrival.

There's some subtle stuf going on straightaway...she overtips to get rid of the last of Auntie Julie's money. The reader wonders, why? So we go on.

A hook. Ruby Morgan has our interest...giving away money seems idealistic and we like her for it.

I think you should call him Uncle Simon since we are in Ruby's point of view, rather than switch to Simon indiscriminately.

But we are in a real story here. Unusual customers. Warnings not to touch anything. An orphan suffering the sins of her dead parents. But most of all, mystery and wonder.

I think this will take wings and soar.

jhoom wrote 746 days ago

This is a fun story with loads of potential.

AlleJo wrote 747 days ago

I pretty much love this - original, charming and funny. Great story.

1