Past, meet Present

Hello Tracey, this reads like a classy sitcom in a way, those office characters that fit well together in their own comfortable worlds then disrupted, put under threat by the arrival of an outsider - Nick Booth. This character is going to upset the applecart in more ways than one. anna's mother well may be a grandmother a lot sooner than she thinks. Favourite character? Has to be Flash! BACKED!!! Chris1 (PS...can you maybe take a look at mine?

I enjoyed reading this Tracey, I think you have a really strong story and I felt like I was inside the radio station. Anna's voice comes through really clearly and her relationship with Marcus is very realistic - he's horrible! I liked the way you introduced the way he treats her with the comment about the GHD and her response, it gives us an idea of the state of their relationship without having to say it. Flash is a really likeable character and I found myself hoping he wouldn't get fired. Vaughny is also interesting although I don't much like him! Maybe there are other layers beneath his aggressive exterior though.
Backed - very best of luck with it Tracey :-)
Amelia (Everything You Ever Wanted)

I love this. Absolutely adore the interaction with Anna and Vaughny in the second chapter. The dialogue is so realistic I could hear these guys talking. I'm afraid I'm a bit gobsmacjed with this. I love the way you have Will refuse sex with Anna. I think I love him.
Backed without hesitation, I would defo buy this book.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George

Cool! I like the first chapter! :-)

Tracey,
You have crafted a captivating plot in Past, meet Present. It's truly interesting to see how people have changed through the years and how they can reappear in our lives in the most unexpected ways. Backed with pleasure.

Hye
this book is so interesting
I hope u write more soon I wonder whts gonna
happen in the end
<3

please write more, i want to know what happens between the 2 of them
and the story is awesome

Hi Tracy,
well done. this is a well-written piece of work and you tell an intriguing story .Your characterisation is really excellent, coupled with a gentle humour, most suited to the style and pace.

An easy, enjoyable read, which I backed with pleasure,

Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Tracey, your first chapter has a good mix of narrative and dialogue. A well-written smooth read. I can't fault anything in that chapter.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Don't all of us wonder how we'd react if someone from our past suddenly appeared and we had to interact with them in the present? Makes a good basis for a book. You have an animated writing style that makes this move. Like your dialogue: sounds authentic and is easy to read. Burgio (Grain of Salt)

You have a strong setting, a failing radio station and instantly empathisable characters. It reads very well, lightly done and the dialogue is good. Good solid chick lit territory and well done.

Exactly the sort of book I read and love! This is excellent - you have a real gift for girl humor as well as realistic dialogue. BACKED without hesitation and I'm coming back to read more later!

Liz
The Cheech Room

I enjoyed the first chapter. Great title. Dialog is great and I find your main character relatable and likable.

Back.

Best of Luck.

El
Reckless Scarlett

(My novel is also romance. If you get a chance, plz give it a read. thx.)

WOW - this is so welll written - I am a fan of this and will keep reading when I get out of work! So BACKED!

Liz
The Cheech Room

That was so good! LOVING it! I can't wait to see when Will will beat the crap out of Marcus. But really, you are doing an amazing job!

That was so good! LOVING it! I can't wait to see when Will will beat the crap out of Marcus. But really, you are doing an amazing job!

Hi, Tracey. Thanks so much for the read. 'Looks like a strong start. You have a great use of the language and a really good ear for dialog. I'd suggest watching the cliche's, especially when they're in the narrative not the dialog. I also think you might trim your wordage a bit. For instance: 'She sighed, sick of the entire world' might become 'She sighed'. I hope the meanderings are of some help. Best always, Tim Greaton

Hello Tracey, This is a good, well written story. The dialogue is believable and the characters are well rounded. Offices, especially in a radio station, are little slices of life with different characters all thrown into the pot - just sit back and see what happens. SHELVED with pleasure. Good luck with this.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm (Would be grateful if you would take a look at this)

Intriguing office politics craziness, with a hint of a vulnerable heroine in a cut-throat world, too. Doesn't take long to get into its stride, and sassy dialogue as well. Excellent

Pat Black
Snarl

Enjoyed this immensely. The first sentence hooked me, "Jesus Christ." The thing is, even though people don't wanna hear it.....it's said all the time, and this is a book, not a tit-for-tat Sunday school class. Write what comes from the gut, whatever motivates you and let the chips fall where the fall. Brush it up, needs some house-cleaning. Really is a great read.

all the best
sue
hope you find the time for Fate's Chastening

As far as Chick-Lit goes this has it all...and its well written!
Backed!
A look at mine would be appreciated.
Frank, Sicilian Shadows

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

Hello Tracey, this reads like a classy sitcom in a way, those office characters that fit well together in their own comfortable worlds then disrupted, put under threat by the arrival of an outsider - Nick Booth. This character is going to upset the applecart in more ways than one. anna's mother well may be a grandmother a lot sooner than she thinks. Favourite character? Has to be Flash! BACKED!!! Chris1 (PS...can you maybe take a look at mine?

First off, love the title. LOVE it. Snappy dialogue, clean structure, easy to read.

Backed.

Oh, one thing others might've already mentioned: What's up with some paragraphs being stuck together? Since the paragraphs are indented, it's easy to tell which are supposed to be separate.

-Terry (Happy Birthday, Zach)

This is a well written novel with good diolouge between charcters. This gives the realistic benefit that puts the reader in the room with the strong charcters you crafted. Shelved. C W

I really like the idea of this, and you are an expert at dialogue. Your characterization is very strong and clear.

I can't back the book, though, because it requires quite a bit of editing in order for it to be ready for the ED, and that's my requirement. Besides punctuation, there are a few grammatical problems. In the "first" paragraph, when she growls, ... what about "The taxi shrieked to a stop, barely missing Anna. He waved his hands and yelled something incoherent, but when she growled, he sped away." The sentence following that: She pushed her hair ...: too many words. less = more. What about "She flipped her hair back and exhaled, then stepped onto the pavement." (and there - wasn't she already on the pavement if she was just about run over?) It's little things like that I'm thinking could use some work.

Hi Tracey,

Your story is well-written in that the reader is able to relate to the characters instantly and the story is interesting and exciting. You might want to polish your sentence structure and grammar a bit in preparation for publication, though. For example, when you're referring to someone in the first person, the name should begin with caps - ie: 4th paragraph - "Morning doll" should read "Morning, Doll."

And this last point is just my opinion, but I'm aware that natural dialogue often contains swear words and I don't have a problem with that. But for me, I hate to see the Lord's name written out as a curse word, and I know there are many people who feel the same way. My suggestion would be to change that particular phrase so that all readers can dive right in and not feel awkward or offended. Again, this is my opinion, only.

Otherwise, your book is a great read. And if you get a chance, please review my book, Mudslide. Thanks.

Ronnie (author of Mudslide)

It's an interesting story--but it needs some revision. Some of the sentences are a bit elementary--no offense!!--and could stand some reworking.

It's a good plot, it just needs editing and more look at diction and grammar/syntax/usage.

Tracey,

"An enjoyable read and heartfelt delight that aspiring one to humoristic proportions of belly giggles plus a romantic love story "

I pray Anna gets the man she really deserves...!

Great manuscript all over

With Regards,

Mark

Wow. Just...wow. I love it! I can see how realistic Anna's relationships with her friends and her fiancee are. its a really enjoyable read! I can't wait to read more!

Hey there, great writing! I enjoyed this suffering relationship between Anna and Marcus, backed! I'd be grateful if you could take some time out to have a look at my book, The Secret Life Of A Part-Time Shark :) Thanks a lot!

'there was something Groundhog Day about her life' - I think we can all relate to this. Very well written and compelling. Backed.

Hullo Tracey, I am not a chick lit person other than my beat up copy of Carolina Moon by Nora Roberts. But, your dialog is authentic and the plot is very realistic. You are backed and I hope you will consider mine. Even though one of your main charecter's has the same name as the serial killer I write about! Interesting, huh? Please don't forget to read mine.

Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

I really like this.

The light-hearted fun tone is great, you don't have too much fluff like some chick lit can have. This can sometimes put me off but not here.

I am a romance girl and would definitely enjoy curling up with this one. Anna is an endearing character and I would enjoy going on the journey with her. Looking forward to Will coming into the picture...

Only four chapters posted though... bother. :-)

Jo xx

Spoilt

Excellent opening... well written, introducing Anna, Flash, Marcus, Nick... Only crit would be that you should consider giving Anna's surname when you first mention it. The other thing would be perhaps, to have slightly more narrative before the initial "Watch out"... I enjoyed it and will read more.
Shelved
Frank

Really enjoying here. chick lit isn't something that I usually go to willingly but I think you have a cracker of an idea. I am pleased with your writing style and the way you draw you characters. This is an engaging and fluid story and I can tell you have taken the time to flesh it out. The voice behind this is enjoyable and you have a knack for dialogue. Which is great, it isn't forced or awkward in the least.
Backed
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Nice story.shelved..
I enjoyed what you´ve posted, especially Ch 4
flirting with Will and giving Flash his marching orders.
Curious where it will go from here, I imagine if or not
she and Will hit it off wont be enough of a story... is he
really a gangster??
Best luck........Mikell The Free

SHELVED! I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A nice storyline that kept my interest. I like her interaction with Flash who fills the role of caring gIrl/-(boy) friend.
I would have liked her to be a bit fiestier. In chapter three where her cheating boyfriend calls and askes her to marry him. Its a telephone conversation. When she agrees you say 'he beamed. How can you beam down a telephone she can't see his face. You could have put 'his voice cheered or his confidence grew, he became more sure of himself. Just a suggestion. I think thais has the makings of a good read

Best of luck
Sue - Knowing Liam Riley

This is a strong premise and you have the perfect MC for your genre. Anna is witty and believable. I am envious of your dialogue as this is particularly strong and brings the whole thing to life. This should do very well with the target audience :)

You do a nice job painting the tension between Anna and Marcus in chapter 4. I've left a few other quick comments in your in-box. This should do well with the target audience.

You switch from Claudia and Nigel whispering, to the Sunday lunch and then back to ‘Will pushed the buttons’ with Rina and Belinda in and office. Then we are back to Anna and after Sunday lunch. And on Sunday afternoon she has a meeting with Flash in her flat; does he share it with her?

I was a bit confused with the timeframe switches and Flash in her flat. And I wasn’t quite sure how Will and Belinda fitted into things. Maybe linking things together like saying ‘She was leaving the office and Flash wanted to talk to her so they agreed a meet on Sunday afternoon’ and instead of generalizing it with ‘Every Sunday. Start with ‘On Sunday, like every other Sunday.

She does need to change her man – I did not like Marcus and Nick sounds interesting.

Although I found it difficult to understand the flow, the writing is good and the plot is interesting so I will back your book.

I hope you find my comment useful. If you object to any of these, let me know and I will change it.

Tony
Life Bringer

I am so seriously not a fan of Chicklit so I am going to steer clear of commenting on the story itself and stick more to the writing itself which in your case is excellent. You have a smooth, powerful style and strong descriptive visuals which to me is a huge thing....no matter what I'm reading I want to be able to see that world, to read it in pictures and not just words on a page.

On my WL and I'll back as soon as I have a spot.

Thank you for your readof Matty :)
This is a good read, your opening is excellent and hooks the reader, making them want to find out more. Anna is well drawn, I like her immediately. My name is Anna, and people call me Anna Banana quite often *grins* This feels very convincing to me, I think the dialogue goes a long way to ensuring this bc it feels realistic. I'd like to know what happens in the end and would be happy to read on and find out. This is well written, I don't nit-pick, but nothing jarred for me anyway. My only suggestion, and it was one made to me about my last book, is to split your pitch into paragraphs, two or three maybe with a break between them - just makes it easier on the eye for prospective readers. On my shelf already.
Bests,
AP
(Matty McDuff)

Interesting back ground which adds another dimension to the story.
I also wanted to rescue Anna and save her from that idiot she's engaged to.

I love this. Absolutely adore the interaction with Anna and Vaughny in the second chapter. The dialogue is so realistic I could hear these guys talking. I'm afraid I'm a bit gobsmacjed with this. I love the way you have Will refuse sex with Anna. I think I love him.
Backed without hesitation, I would defo buy this book.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George

I enjoyed reading this Tracey, I think you have a really strong story and I felt like I was inside the radio station. Anna's voice comes through really clearly and her relationship with Marcus is very realistic - he's horrible! I liked the way you introduced the way he treats her with the comment about the GHD and her response, it gives us an idea of the state of their relationship without having to say it. Flash is a really likeable character and I found myself hoping he wouldn't get fired. Vaughny is also interesting although I don't much like him! Maybe there are other layers beneath his aggressive exterior though.
Backed - very best of luck with it Tracey :-)
Amelia (Everything You Ever Wanted)

What a neat story! I love your skillful writing, and the dialogue is wonderful.
I like it a lot!
Backed!
Voni
The Bell Ridge Cave
P.S. Our leading ladies have the same name, "Anna" -- are we good, or what?

Tracey
Anna had had to bully.......I'd drop one 'had'.......you very rarely need 2.....see what you think
'No' Anna said under his breath.......typo......under (her) breath....

I like how you use dialogue more than background narrative to drive the plot forward......I do the same thing....I think the reader 'discovers the story' as opposed to 'being told what's going on' .......It's not to everybodys taste, but I like reading dialogue driven novels so much better than page after page of droning coma inducing narration...

I enjoyed the read and the journey.....Brilliant characterization.......

Shelved with pleasure

This is Chick Lit at its best, funny, racy, romantic. Anna is an excellent central character, an attractive girl with some hang-ups, but someone we can quickly relate to. Marcus is a real drag, and I'm glad she breaks up with him so soon, after the blonde episode. I just hope she doesn't let him draw her back in. I like Flash, an engaging person whose jokes add a lot to the atmosphere of the book. But, of course, the one we're waiting to meet is Will, the hero. The spark between him and Anna when they meet in the doorway is vividly portrayed, and he has all the right characteristics; anger against women, power, wit and humour. You have a good plot going, and clearly Will's objection to women will be changed when he and Anna at last get together. Your style is smooth, professional, and a pleasure to read. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I really like your title and the way you started you long pitch. "Anna lives a life of monotony."
You may want to break up the second paragraph of your pitch. I think it will stand out more. Maybe at But Anna can't console... -could be a new paragraph to make the ending really stand out and grap the reader's attention?
I really like your plot and am interested to find out more between Will and Anna.
Backed,
Sarah D (A Caribbean Conundrum)

This is a perfect curl up on the sofa read...Anna is likeable, we've all (and some still are!!) done the whole Groundhog day thing! Not liking Macus too much - but I'm loving Will, think I'll be willing Anna to dump Marcus and head off into the sunset with Will ;o)

Shelved

Love Bev x

Love Overboard & Betrayal

Ah, as soon as I read the pitch, I knew this was going on my shelf. I love Anna, and I want to shove a stick through Marcus' eye, then I want to squeeze a lemon in said eye. XD. Flash is lovely, I'm sure you have fun writing their discussions and convos. You give your characters wonderful voices, none of them are alike, which is perfect. I can't wait to see what you have in store : ] on my sheeeelf.
-Maria
The Reader