Book Jacket

 

rank 282
word count 155907
date submitted 25.01.2010
date updated 19.05.2012
genres: Thriller, Romance, Historical Ficti...
classification: universal
complete

THE CROSS OF GOA

Laurence Howard

Missing since 1721 the cross was discovered by Alex Radcliff. It concealed the powers of gold- unleashed it would have a force beyond human imagination.

 

In 1502 the Knights of Christ designed a cross of pure gold replicating the Ark of the Covenant to conceal ancient secrets of the power of gold from the Inquisitors.
The ‘Fiery’ Cross of Goa was seized by pirates in 1721.

Alex Radcliff, the world famous artist, discovered the Cross with a hoard of treasure on a deserted, uncharted island in the Indian Ocean. Radcliff had been stranded, believed drowned, for over seven years. His dramatic rescue captured the world’s imagination although for some his ‘return from the dead’ was unwelcome news.
When Radcliff’s associate was brutally murdered two attempts were made on his own life.

Reunited with the voluptuous Carmen Burgos, his fiancé, they fled to Australia but his assassins pursued them relentlessly. Radcliff was forced to make a shattering decision.

Meanwhile Jean-Claude Narbonne, a sinister and deadly foe, was close to locating the island and would stop at nothing to possess its treasures.

This epic adventure is filled with intrigue, romance and suspense culminating in a battle of forces of a magnitude beyond human imagination. When the powers of the Cross are unleashed the great mysteries of the cosmos, quantum physics and the elusive Higgs Boson are revealed.

 
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THE CROSS OF GOA

 

A novel by Laurence Howard

 

The right of Laurence Howard to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

 

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus Said:

“Let one who seeks not stop seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will be troubled. When he is troubled, he will be astonished and will rule over all.”

“Whoever drinks from my mouth will become like me; I myself shall become that person, and the mysteries will be revealed to him.”

The Gospel of Thomas

Text adapted by Elaine Pagels and Marvin Meyer

 

PART ONE

 

CHAPTER 1

 

It was 23rd February 1502. A brilliant full moon burst from behind a cloud flooding Lisbon’s narrow back streets with its cool sensuous light. Sharp teeth of shadow cut mystical patterns across the streets and roofs and climbed their way up the walls. Stars cluttered the heavens, hanging like coruscating snowflakes, falling slowly, eternally from the cosmos. A welcome southwesterly breeze thwarted any possibility of a frost, instead bringing with it the promise of spring.

The streets were packed with small wooden dwellings hastily built to house the perpetual influx of country folk seeking fortune in the city. Churches, which had once dotted the countryside surrounding old Lisbon had been absorbed, along with the grand stone mansions, eclipsed by the clutter of new houses. The second floors of the houses overhung the narrow streets, offering perfect concealment to any nefarious character of the night. It also provided cover for those forced to operate clandestinely, those who endeavoured to elude the prying eyes and ears of the Inquisition.

The Inquisitors had commandeered a small church on the outskirts of the city. Within its ancient stone walls, two soldiers dragged a young man into a small room at one side of the altar. They dropped the broken, partially clothed body into a chair. His head lolled lifelessly on his chest. Blood dribbled, slithering like a dark snake from the corner of his mouth.

A black robed, aged cleric rose like a raven from behind a worn oak table. A fat, solitary candle flickered upon its polished surface. It illuminated the cleric’s face from beneath, his chin and nose resembling an open beak about to rip apart the carrion before him. His bony hands clawed at the edge on the table, pulling him around until he could reach out and touch the prisoner’s face. The young man’s blood caked face was bruised, swollen beyond recognition. A thin finger lifted an eyelid and the young man’s eyeball rolled upward into his head.

The cleric nodded to one of the soldiers, who left the room and returned with a bucket of water with which he doused the prisoner.

Consciousness brought with it agony. The prisoner screamed his broken hands and fingers burning from being crushed in the mill wheel. He tried to focus, tried to open his lids just enough to see. Although his vision was blurred he could see the eyes of the Inquisitor, burning hatefully down into his own.  

“You will confess,” the cleric demanded then cackled, the sound sharp and parrot like. “You’re apprenticed to that heretic Federico de Silva. Your loyalty to this devil will condemn your misguided soul to everlasting damnation. You must renounce this man and all his evilyou must do it now, before God. You are dying, Miguel. This is your last chance to cleanse yourself before you rejoin your maker.”    

Delirium took the prisoner unto semi-consciousness. Anaesthetised from pain he watched his persecutors diseased mouth open and close with a detached fascination: his five decaying teeth, the three protruding from the centre of his lower jaw overlapped the two at the top whenever his jaws met. He could feel the cleric’s warm breath on his mouth, his pulverised nose sparing him from the stench. The old man’s head became the pike he had caught the evening before. It amused him to watch his jaws moving, like the pike gasping for life dangling on the end of his line.

The pike would still be in the bag by the door to his home by the river. A vision of his wife came to him. Joy engulfed his soul. He could see her sitting on the front porch of their wooden hut by the stream, her chubby small hands busily sewing, looking up her enchanting smile broadened as he gazed into her eyes that glinted in the sunlight. A blanket of warmth and peace enveloped the prisoner’s body.

  “Confess, Miguel,” the cleric’s tone harsher. Time was running out. “What is your master doing? We know he has a commission from the King. What devilish business is he into? What kind of golden calf is he making? Answer….!”

A brilliant light appeared to the prisoner. It beckoned to him filling his spirit and dominating his nervous system. There was no more pain …no more suffering. He had proved himself worthy of the man that he had worshiped; the man that he loved more than his own father.

“What is de Silva doing?” the ‘Raven’ shouted frantically, both eyeballs about to pop out from their sockets. “Help me to destroy this man,” he beseeched, softening his tone suddenly. “He reveres the ancient heretical order of the Templars,” he explained in a last attempt to reason with the young man. “His ways are insidious and perverse. Help me put and end to his evil doings and you will receive absolution…”

Miguel’s swollen and broken, bloody mouth opened hideously wide, white teeth smashed away from crushed gums were embedded in his tongue. Air wheezed from the scarlet and black orifice. The cleric turned his ear closer to the gaping hole to hear his confession.

“Baphomet!”, Miguel managed to whisper followed by a burst of chilling, hysterical laughter that gurgled up through his blood. He choked.

The cleric staggered backwards as if stabbed in the heart with a contorted expression of amazement and disbelief frozen on his face.     

A soldier smashed the hilt of his sword onto Miguel’s skull. He died instantly. The look of triumph and joy on the young man’s battered face stunned the cleric. He withdrew and slumped into his chair.

 

That night five men hurried stealthily through the narrow stinking Lisbon back streets. Their lightness of step was precision timed to resemble one person running through the night. They dodged the drunks and whores jumping open drains fouled with raw sewage, their capes brushing the flaking plaster walls of the overhanging two story buildings. Their hands clasped sword hilts ready for ambush from any doorway or street corner.

Fifty yards behind a bare foot young boy of about eight years old, his shirt and pants torn and ragged, sprinted to within sight of the men and ducked immediately into a doorway. Malnourished, exhausted and gasping for breath he clasped tightly in his small, grimy hand two pieces of silver that the priests had given him. It was enough money to feed his dying mother, two sisters and himself for another week. The priests had promised him more if he could bring back useful information about the men he had been told to follow.

Ahead the men had turned left at a crossroads. The boy crouched in the shadows of a doorway until two drunken, laughing women of the night passed him by leaving in their wake a heavy odour of cheap wine and strong perfume. He hurled himself to the corner where the roads crossed and gingerly peering round.

The street was wide with one side of it bathed in moonlight. The men were clustered in the deep shadow of a large three story mansion fifty yards down the street. The taller one, his face gaunt with deep sunken eyes and a goatee beard, checked furtively up and down the street.

Deep shadow and door recesses covered the boy who slithered and crawled to within six feet of the men. Standing within a narrow doorway, his bony body pressed as thin as possible against the door, he fought to control his gasping breaths.

A small door built into one of the massive doors of the mansion creaked open. The taller man leaned forward. The boy heard him utter a strange sounding word then they all disappeared within.

The boy dashed to where the men had stood. He recognised the door instantly. It was the King’s master goldsmith’s house, an immense edifice stretching across the block with its back yard opening onto the street behind.

    Federico de Silva ushered his guests through the lower rooms of his house and out into a covered workshop. The yellow glow from the smith’s furnace lit up a covered workbench and reached out far into the cobbled backyard and reflected upon the shiny hindquarters of two immaculately groomed chestnut mares harnessed to an open wagon their reins tied to a railing adjacent to the stables that ran along one side of the yard. Four other horses, saddled and ready to ride stood just visible tied to a rail on the opposite side of the yard close to the double gates that opened onto the street behind. One snorted and stamped impatiently, its hooves clipping the cobblestones. 

“You have come at a most unfortunate but opportune moment, my friends,” the old man announced sadly.

“Take us to the Cross, de Silva, if you will” the taller man demanded. “Time’s not on our side.”

“I’m aware of that Lefrage, my friend. I sent my apprentice Miguel on an errand this morning. He has not returned.”

     “WHAT!” Lefrage exploded. “The Inquisitors have him. He’ll talk! No one can withstand their devilish ways of extracting information….”

“I trust him, Lefrage,” the old man snapped.

“But he is young! He will be tricked by their cunning and devilish methods!”

“I trust him. They’ve had him only one day…”

“Trust him or not, they will extract what they want from him. If they find out about the Cross now…. at the eleventh hour… all will be lost. Everything!”

     “Get a grip of yourself, man. We have time enough to see our work through.  The Cross is finished and safely hidden inside. I’ll take you to it in one moment. First, you must all witness something very special.”

“We can’t waste time, de Silva,” Lefrage persisted.

De Silva glared back at him. “You will do as I command.

The old man immediately eased the tension with a kindly smile then fixed each of the men with his wide bulbous eyes, masking his deep concern for Miguel.

“What you are about to see is a phenomenon no other mortals have witnessed since ancient times.” The stooping old man beckoned them towards the far end of his workbench away from the furnace. Six clay tablets, each 10ins square, lay under the glow of a heavy silver candelabrum with an ancient form of writing, clearly depicted, cut into the top surface. It was Sumerian cuneiform, one of the earliest forms of written language.

“These tablets were rescued, with other secrets and priceless treasures, from Jerusalem by the Knights Templar in 1127. As you know, our brotherhood is responsible for their safekeeping. They are evidence of a ‘Truth’. It is the ‘Truth’ that everyone seeks and yearns to experience; a ‘Truth’ the church has suppressed and successfully denied its flock from knowing and is hell bent on keeping it from them.

“Anything and everything that threatens the Church’s blinkered doctrine will always be destroyed: like the great library at Alexandria, the countless martyrs of the brotherhood burned on stakes and the Cross….they will destroy it if they can!  Maybe four or five hundred years from now things will be very different. People should know this ‘Truth’ by then. God willing! 

“What you are about to witness, gentlemen…”

“Get on with it, de Silva,” Lefrage demanded.

     “WHAT you will see…” the old man continued, “will astound you beyond your wildest imaginings.A broad grin pulled the skin tight across his wide noble brow erasing momentarily the deep furrows etched by a lifetime of hard work. His old craggy face creased up around twinkling eyes. He guided them back to the workbench opposite the furnace and removed the canvas covering a one foot square closed iron box.

The furnace lit up one side of the box. It glowed a rusty orange and black. Rods had been fixed to the left and right sides of the box and were bent towards each other, almost meeting at the centre. Below the gap between the rods a raised platform had been erected above the centre of the box.

“Using the formulae given in those tablets I have unlocked an incredible power.”

“For pities sake hurry man…!” Lefrage nervously craned his neck towards the exit of the yard. “I’m sure we were followed. Fetch the Cross now, de Silva, and we can be on our way to the docks.”

“Relax, my friend….He lifted a calming hand and shook his craggy head. “I’ve never known you to be so nervous!”

“I’ve never been on a more important mission, de Silva! The King himself entrusted me with this huge responsibility. I must… we must not fail.”

“We’re all here on the King’s business, Lefrage

Federico de Silva looked away into the furnace, remembering his incarceration in Toledo castle, deep in Spanish Castile, two years before. He had been seized in Seville for assisting 300 Conversos Jews to escape from the Inquisitors. He grimaced, feeling again the excruciating agony of the garrotte. Just as they were about to turn the screw for the last time; just before his neck would have snapped like a twig, twelve members of his brotherhood, the Knights of Christ, suddenly burst into the torture chamber and snatched him away to safety. They had hacked their way through the whole castle guard to reach him and vanished into the night without a single casualty. He gazed up into the night sky, forgetting the five pairs of anxiously watching eyes that surrounded him, and gave thanks to God for his deliverance.

He coughed, embarrassed slightly by his lapse. “The timing of this last process requires absolute precision,” he continued. Using a pair of tongs he extracted a crucible containing molten gold from the furnace and placed it carefully onto the elevated platform on the iron box just beneath the gap between the two rods.

A blinding flash arced across the gap for several seconds enveloping the crucible. The men retreated in alarm. One stumbled, knocking over the candelabrum, which clattered onto the cobbled floor. One of the group picked it up.

De Silva waited for several seconds before partially immersing the crucible into a vat of cold water for two seconds. It hissed, steam billowing up from the vat.

“It’s vital that I retain that colour within the metal as it cools,” he explained, removing the crucible from the water.

All the men stared intently at the cooling gold, eager to see the colour de Silva had alluded to. Lefrage glanced over to de Silva and gave him a bewildered shrug of his narrow shoulders.

Returning the crucible into the furnace he waited for the molten gold to return to the colour he wanted then offered it once again to the iron box. The same intense flash followed, but this time all the men stood their ground. He cooled it again exactly as before. De Silva’s skilled eye could see into the heart of the precious metal.

“Look! See that colour?” They all gathered keenly around the crucible again, the liquid gold still radiating immense heat. The air was filled with the acrid smell of molten metal. “It must never be lost.” The passion with which he spoke induced them all to stoop over the crucible but the heat forced them to withdraw.

Eight times the old man repeated the heating and cooling process. A blinding flash of light sent them reeling backwards. He looked around at his shocked but captivated audience. Perspiration dripped from his nose.

“Watch closely!” he demanded, with all the drama of a magician. He lifted the cooled, blackened crucible in his gloved hand and, with ease, rested it on the anvil next to the furnace. He was amused to see their expressions change from mystification to incredulity and then to disbelief and finally to sheer amazement as the transition took place. The men gathered around him, crouching closer, to inspect the contents of the crucible.

One prodded it with a finger and examined the substance stuck to his fingernail. “It’s a white powder! It’s like freshly milled flour!” he announced to his comrades gaping around him.

“Come on, de Silva. Where is it?” Lefrage demanded, reaching for the iron box. “What happened to the gold?”

“Don’t touch that!” he screamed.

Lefrage leapt back with his hands in the air, then laughed nervously trying to regain some composure. He looked around at the others and saw to his relief that they had all shrunk back covering their faces with their forearms. 

“What are you trying to prove?” Lefrage asked full of indignation. He pointed at the powder. “What is this, de Silva?”

“Exactly!” de Silva grinning with delight at his friend’s utter bewilderment and confusion and wanting to aggravate him to the limit.

“Well! What is it?” he glared back. “We haven’t time for your schoolboy games!”

“That’s what it is!” de Silva stated, nodding his head gleefully, gazing at each of Lefrage’s four men in turn. Within their dumbfounded expressions there was a hint of concern for their leader who was about to explode with anger and frustration.

“WHAT!” Lefrage screamed.

“What it is!” He giggled.

“I asked YOU that!” Helplessness was beginning to replace the exasperation in his eyes.  “Tell me de Silva. What is IT?”

“Manna.”

“Manna! Manna. What the devil is Manna?” Lefrage pleaded, wanting only for this embarrassing game to end and they could get the Cross and be on their way.

“Manna is Hebrew for ‘What is this?’!”

Lefrage’s jaw dropped open. He shook his head forcing a wan smile. “Very funny, de Silva!”

De Silva laughed heartily, affectionately putting an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“Come! Let me show you this,” directing them to the end of the workbench, chuckling as he went and pointed to the six tablets. “The people who inscribed those marks on the clay tablets knew the power of gold,” as he spoke the five men gathered around the candelabrum and studied the strange cuts in the clay. “These people had acquired these secrets from an unknown tribe that had come from the north. The Egyptians mastered this alchemy thousands of years later.  They called the powder ‘mfkzt’ or ‘white bread’.”

“White bread!” Lefrage sneered.

“What does it taste like?” another asked.

“Sweet. Just like honey.” De Silva looked at each in turn. It delighted the old man to see his audience utterly confused and captivated. “Over the centuries the craft was absorbed by the Israelites,” de Silva continued. “When Moses led them out of Egypt to Mount Horeb, it was Bezaleel, the master craftsman, who built the Ark of the Covenant. Moses had said that the white powder called ‘Manna’ was ‘the bread which the Lord has given you to eat’ but when Moses came down from Mount Horeb and saw them before the golden calf he said to them, ‘You have not kept the covenant, and so the Manna is being taken from you’.

“All of you know the words: ‘Give us this day our daily bread’. They all stared at him stupefied. “Yes! The ‘Lord’s Prayer’. Jesus was a craftsman too! Jesus said: ‘He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden Manna to eat’.”

“Are you saying” Lefrage scoffed, “that Jesus knew that gold could be turned into…this powder?”

“These secrets were employed by the Pharaohs in building the pyramids, by Moses in the making of the Ark of the Covenant and by King Solomon in building the Temple in Jerusalem.” De Silva paused, watching them closely as each of the group struggled to take in the revelations. He noticed that they all held that entranced, captivated look of expectancy seen in the eyes of small children.

“Here,” he tapped the fifth tablet with his index finger, “these marks explain what would happen if I continued to heat and cool this ‘powder’.”

“It would become gold once more?” Lefrage suggested hopefully.

“No,” he chuckled.

They waited.

De Silva held them in suspense.

“It vanishes!” he said with perfect timing. “It disappears completely!” he declared with a look of sheer joy.

“What!” a short rotund individual shouted. He glared at de Silva with an expression of utter disbelief and complete frustration. “I have strived as hard as the others to grasp and understand your methods and what you are saying to us, de Silva.” His open, scholarly face tipped to one side sceptically and his sharp eyes narrowed mistrustfully. “Can you honestly state that you actually performed this experiment?”

“Yesterday evening!” His joyous, self-satisfied smile stretched from ear to ear. “I divided the white powder into two portions. When I continued heating and cooling one of the portions there was a flash of brilliant white light…. then it vanished! As predicted on the clay tablet!”

De Silva held out the astonished man. “Go on, lift it,” he grinned nodding towards the crucible.

He pulled on the glove and clasped the crucible, expecting to bear the full weight of the gold.

“My God!” he shouted in astonishment. “It’s as light as an eagles feather!” His eyes were wide with excitement. “Unbelievable!” he shrieked, shaking his head.

“Shhh ! Shut up you fool,” hissed one of his comrades.

“Hurry man,” pleaded Lefrage. “This is all very interesting but if the Cross is ready, de Silva, we must get it loaded onto the wagon…” Lefrage’s turned his ear towards the arched entrance to the yard and raised a finger to his lips, “Quiet!” He hissed then crept towards the wagon and then continued with long gangling strides to the arched gateway, unlatched the gate and peered up and down the street. He returned to the others and shrugged his shoulders.

“A stray dog, possibly?” suggested de Silva jovially. “But you’re right to be cautious, my friend. We will succeed in fulfilling the Kings mission, never fear! You will not disappoint our King or the great Admiral da Gama. He sails on the next tide, does he not?”   

“For pity’s sake, de Silva,” Lefrage hissed, throwing his arms in the air. “Why don’t you shout it out from the roof tops….tell everyone about your Cross whilst you’re at it!” 

“It’s common knowledge, Lefrage. Everyone knows that King Manuel has commissioned his new Admiral to recapture Calicut.”

“Yes, I know. But keep your voice down.” Lefrage flapped his hands rapidly up and down, his long neck craning in every direction.

De Silva laughed. “You look like a constipated duck…you’ll worry yourself to death, man! All will be well,” he added, patting him firmly on the back. “You’ll see.” 

“The sooner we get the Cross to the Admirals ship, the happier I’ll be. Federico…answer me this: why, in heavens name, are they taking this cross to India? It’s hardly the safest place following the massacre of Cabral and his men at Calicut! There has never been a worse time…!”

“That’s precisely why the Cross will be safe. It will be the last place those devil Inquisitors will think we have hidden our most treasured secrets. A new fort has been built at Cochin to receive the Cross. India is the future, my friend. Our King was wise to foresee its great potential as a trading gateway to Asia, the Orient and the newly found islands called the Japans. A magnificent cathedral is to be built and the Cross is to be housed within it.”

“Why would those natives massacre our men?” Lefrage asked. “Aren’t they supposed to be converted? Aren’t they Christians?” 

They heard the slap of bare feet running on the cobblestones outside.

“I knew it,” Lefrage glared at de Silva. “For the love of God, GET THE CROSS!”

Without another word Federico de Silva carefully emptied the white powder into a golden box, the size of small jewellery box, and deftly soldered on the lid.

“All of you follow me. Oh, Lefrage! Bring those clay tablets…carefully!”

With the golden box in one hand and the candelabrum in the other, he led them inside to a small room stacked with empty sea chests. A ladder and a coil of rope lay behind the door. De Silva pulled a stack of chests away from the middle of the room to reveal a trapdoor.

“Someone open it up, please.”

One grabbed a ring handle. The four-foot square door opened with ease on its well-greased hinges. He laid it flat on the floor. De Silva held the candelabrum over the hole, its flickering light glinting upon two golden objects on the floor seven feet below them. He released a rope fastened to the wall. The rope passed through a pulley wheel at the end of a crane like arm. The arm swung out over the open trapdoor.

“Hurry, man. Hurry!” Lefrage held the pulley rope awaiting instructions.

“You!” De Silva pointed to one of Lefrage’s men. “Bring that ladder and coil of rope,” pointing to the spot behind the door. Placing the candelabrum and the gold box on the floor, he lowered the ladder into the hole and threw the rope down. “Lefrage! Follow me down into the cellar,” he commanded as he took off his shoes. “First, remove anything metallic from your person and take off your boots and stockings. Bring the clay tablets, though,” he smiled sardonically up at Lefrage. He picked up the box, took one of the candles from the candelabrum and descended the ladder.

The two sections of the golden Cross lay side by side before the two barefoot men. The base was an open rectangular box of gold. Next to it sat the jewel encrusted Cross, suspended upon four swan neck supports that rose up from the corners of a flat solid gold surface, which was the lid to the base section.

Lefrage gaped in breathless awe. “Fed...er...ico!” each syllable uttered an octave higher than the last. “It is magnificent. The craftsmanship… the beauty… What a design! It’s extraordinary! It’s intoxicating, de Silva! More wondrous than a newly born babe,” he added holding his arms up in joyous admiration.

The flame of the candle flared momentarily in a draught, dancing and playing on the golden surfaces and glinting upon the jewels in a mesmerising and dazzling multicoloured display of reflected, sparkling light. The bejewelled Cross had four intricately carved flaming suns, with rubies and diamonds at their hearts, shining from the ends of each jewel encrusted solid gold crosspiece; lines of tiny rubies, diamonds and sapphires radiated out along each tongue of flame. Each crosspiece was of equal length, measuring fourteen inches from tip to tip; a golden circle of Celtic design encompassed the intersection, bisecting the crosspieces. At the intersection there was an interlocking pentagram, traced in small diamonds, with a large diamond shaped crystal at its centre, representing the eye of God.

The four golden supports had a minimum width and thickness of half an inch solid gold, representing the four elements: Earth, Fire, Water and Wind. They gracefully curved up from each corner of the lid to cradle the Cross beneath the intersection. The Cross was held suspended four inches above the lid of solid gold one and one quarter inches thick. Two golden hands reached out from opposing sides of the lid, palms downward, each index fingers extended, almost touching, leaving a quarter inch gap over the epicentre of the lid. The gap between the fingers was also directly below the crystal at the centre of the Cross.

The base was made from resinous acacia wood lined inside and out with pure gold. It was fifteen inches long by nine inches wide and nine inches high and stood upon four stubby legs, two and half inches high. Four gold rings had been moulded into each corner of the base to accommodate the carrying poles. An intricately decorated rim had been fashioned around the top of the base half an inch wide and half an inch high to receive the lid and upper section and hold it fast. When both sections were in place the Cross stood 30 inches above the ground.

De Silva took the tablets from Lefrage and placed them carefully inside the base.

     “Hurry de Silva,” Lefrage implored. “Get the Cross assembled and onto the wagon. We can’t waste any more time!” Lefrage attempted to lift the top section.  His joints popped under the strain.

“Wait! Do what I tell you when I tell you to do it! Patience, my friend! We must act with the utmost care from now on. You’ll have great difficulty lifting that top

section without help,” he sniggered. “But we can cheat a little.” He handed Lefrage the small box of white powder. “Place it in the centre of the lid.”

He did so.

“Now lift the upper section.”

He lifted the top section with ease and held it over a foot above the base.

De Silva gripped Lefrage’s arm. “I need to replace the box of powder inside the base section. When I take it away you will bear the full weight of the top. Do not drop it. Once the top section is in place we must be extremely cautious,” he said raising his voice for the others to hear, his echoing words in the empty cellar adding gravity to what they were about to do. “From the moment the Cross is complete it can never be touched!  Are you ready, Lefrage?”

He straightened his back and braced his legs and nodded. 

De Silva removed the small box of powder.

Gravity exerted its full force upon the solid gold. The top section dropped.

Lefrage arrested its fall an inch above the base section. His arms and fingers were stretched to the verge of dislocation; his legs buckled under the incredible load.

“Hold it. Good man. Lift it a fraction higher. Come on, Lefrage! I must get the box inside the base. LIFT! JUST A FRACTION! COME ON!”

Lefrage’s veins in his neck protruded like knotted string. The sharp edges of the Cross and the supports cut into the flesh of his hands. His breath hissed out from between tightly clenched teeth. Lefrage concentrated his effort looking up through the trap door, willing his shoulders, back muscles and legs to give him more lift. He wanted to scream but instead a deep growl gargled from his throat as he pushed and pulled with all his might.

“Up! Up! Hold it.”

Lefrage held for one more second, the muscles in his face contorting and twisting with the strain. He banished the agony from his mind and held on for another second.

“Lower it, Lefrage,” he said at last. “Slowly.”

Lefrage’s head shook with strain, his eyes bulged from their sockets as de Silva carefully lined up the lid.

“Down...more…more. Okay. Well done, my good friend!”

The top slotted into its place perfectly with a deep clunk. Compressed air hissed perceptibly from the edges as it settled into position. Lefrage tried to remove his hands but flesh was stuck to the metal. Gently peeling his hands from the supports he rubbed life back into the deep purple grooves cut into his palms.

De Silva removed the ladder clear and took a pair of golden poles, each a yard long and one inch and half in thickness that lay close to the Cross. “They are of acacia wood covered with pure gold,” he explained, inserting the poles through the rings on the base. “From now on the Cross can only be moved using these poles.”

Lefrage nodded, recovering his breath and massaging his hands.

“Lower the rope from the pulley,” de Silva called up.

Lefrage grinned, still breathless, and paced slowly and reverently around the Cross. “My insides have become weightless simply looking at it.” He looked over at de Silva, his smile broadening. “I feel as though I’ve drunk a vat of wine,” he laughed, holding his head in his palms, “I’m that light headed.”

“You must treat this Cross with the utmost respect, my friend. It has unimaginable power.” He looked up. Four gawping faces peered down at them through the trap door. “The Cross must never be touched,” he yelled up. “I have made a list of safety rules. They must be followed to the letter. It’s absolutely imperative that these rules are passed on to Admiral da Gama. Is that understood?”

There was a murmur from above. Lefrage shot a sceptical glance at de Silva, but then respectfully nodded his agreement under the glare of the goldsmith. De Silva weaved the rope around the protruding ends of the two poles then fastened the end securely above the Cross.

“Lift…. Slowly does it…Careful now! …. Not too fast! … Hold it there.” With the Cross at waist height, de Silva checked that the rope and the knot were secure. “Take it up slowly.” They both watched it gradually ascend, the ends of the poles just passing through the frame of the trapdoor.  “Lift it as high as it will go, men. Whatever you do, do not touch it. It could be the last thing that you do on God’s earth.”

The four men hauled the Cross until the knot de Silva had tied was pressing against the pulley wheel. The flickering candlelight reflected on the gold and the jewels projecting dappled multicoloured patterns onto the ceiling. De Silva and Lefrage climbed out from the cellar, squeezing between the sea chests and the four men holding the pulley rope. Lefrage retrieved the ladder as de Silva closed the trap door. He dragged an open sea chest underneath the hanging Cross. The chest had been adapted to the Cross with its wooden carrying poles in place.

“Right men. Lower it down gently into the chest.”

The four men stood around the chest speechless.

“It’s a masterpiece, Federico!” the short scholarly one declared at last. He searched the faces of his comrades in turn. “I’m feeling…a strange dizziness…and it’s not the wine…”

They all felt the warm pulsating sensation coursing through their veins. Grins grew broader on their faces as waves of euphoria lifted their spirits to heights they had forgotten existed. Their bodies become weightless, as if floating on air. They were overwhelmed by an extraordinary feeling that awoke within each of them an eternal truth that was instantly recognisable. It was a deep feeling of omnipresent love. Each man gazed at the other speechless, their eyes blurred with tears, their hearts pounding in their chests and their spirits joining together to become part of the greater divine spirit that is everything that is.

De Silva had felt it too, only this time it was stronger than at any other time since starting the project. He saw their almost childlike expressions of joy, as if the Cross had spoken to them of an undying universal truth that they had instantly remembered. The joy of seeing the same reaction in each of the men brought tears to his eyes.

     “You’re all good men,” he said nodding slowly holding back a surge of emotion that was about to erupt. “All of you. Now you can all feel and know God, as I do, living deep within you.” He clasped Lefrage’s shoulder more for support than for the affection for his friend. “The Cross…will always give out….this energy,” he managed to utter, his throat tightening like a vice. “This is an…. undying energy. It’s God’s…. undying love…. for mankind.” His quivering lips stretched into a broad smile as he nodded in certain affirmation. Tears fell freely down his cheeks.

They watched the great man stand quietly before his creation, his magnificent work complete. “The base of the Cross is precisely one third the size and weight of the Ark of the Covenant,” De Silva said solemnly, looking at each man in turn. “It is made of identical materials. The King was specific in that regard. The base is of acacia wood lined inside and out with the purest gold. As pure as the gold Bezaleel had used to make the Ark. Part of the King’s brief was that I copy the marks on the clay tablets onto the inner gold lining of the base before they crumble to dust. This I’ve accomplished. The secrets will be safe now for generations to come.”

De Silva covered the Cross with the lid of the sea chest and fastened the three locks.

“Go now, men,” he said handing the keys to Lefrage. “Get this precious load onto the wagon and wait for me in the yard.”

De Silva disappeared into the great house as Lefrage’s four men carried the chest outside into the yard and carefully placed it onto the back of the wagon, covering it with a canvas.

De Silva returned to the yard with a sealed envelope. “Be sure that the Admiral fully understands the importance of the safety instructions,” he said handing Lefrage the envelope. “It is imperative that you do this.”

Lefrage thrust the paper inside his coat and held de Silva in an embrace.

“I hope all free thinking people of the world will remember you forever for what you have done this night Federico.”

De Silva laughed heartily and slapped his friend firmly and affectionately on the back. “I don’t think so, my friend. But I remember you telling me something, though. Something about being in a hurry! Go and do God’s work for our beloved King! God will keep you!”  

De Silva watched Lefrage climb up onto the wagon and take the reins then hurried ahead and opened the gates to the yard. Two of Lefrage’s men galloped out on glistening stallions, turning left into the night. Lefrage pulled on the reins and the mares responded instantly. The wagon rumbled out of the yard and accelerated into the street, skidding wide on the cobble, and chased after the horsemen. The other two men kicked their mounts and raced after the wagon.

 

Chapters

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Sharda D wrote 8 days ago

Hi Laurence,
a return read for your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams. Thanks again for that.

This is very well researched, beautifully written prose. You have a strongly visual writing style with a real eye for detail. My only niggle is at times there was a little too much detail and it made the writing a tad dense in places and slows the pace. Perhaps more variation in sentence length would help. Not sure. E.g. the bit where he's watching the opening and closing mouth of his persecutor, is probably superfluous (all the detail about the placement of his teeth!) and slows the pace. We see the image in our head without having to know the exact placement of his teeth. Anyway, hopefully you understand what I mean. It's only a slight niggle, so feel free to ignore!

As it stands it is an enjoyable, well crafted read, well done.
6 stars from me,
all the best,
Sharda.

Michael Johnson wrote 44 days ago

Hello, Laurence.

Thanks for supporting Just Making Sure.

I’ve now been able to find the time to finish reading The Cross of Goa. The book fairly flies along, with one cliff-hanger falling swiftly into another. The long-running battle in Australia and the repeated surge and resurgence of events on the island never let up and never lose the narrative tension. The ability to sustain narrative tension is certainly a strong point of yours.

Another strong point is your ability to create detailed visualisation. The descriptions of specifics such as the cross, scenery and the lay-out of fight scenes are all impressive. You conjure images of dramatic incidents, storms at sea and historical events very vividly.

In the plot you reconcile history, religion, the occult, science and science fiction. This surely has the interest to appeal to a market that is quite strong at the moment.

You went to a certain depth in the portrayal of your characters, with references to formative experiences in the childhoods of Radcliffe and Jean-Claude, particularly. You also touched on the background of characters like Omollo and Kurt and, of course, Carmen. I was tempted to see a link between the workaholics, Captain Rodriguez and Chief Inspector Charles Hawkins. I suspect you have a personal sympathy for these two characters. For a book of this type, I think your character development is fine. For my own personal taste, I would have liked to see Radcliffe’s childhood traumas brought more clearly into play, perhaps introducing them earlier and showing an effect by them on his behaviour and feelings during the course of the story. This is just a thought. At any rate, I think that, with your wealth of experience, you have the potential to work in a lot of character development along those lines.

The only part I was a little uncomfortable with was the prologue. The reason for having it is clear, but I thought the characters came across too much as the ‘noble savage’ types.

You may already know that there are a number of spelling mistakes in the manuscript. This is normal. I’ll just point out that most of them involve a misspelt vowel, especially where there is a similar word with a different meaning.

So, Laurence, I wish you the best of luck with this book. It’s a very entertaining piece of work.

If you could possibly mention Just Making Sure to your friends, I’d be very grateful.

Best wishes,
Michael (Felix Bradninch).

earthlover wrote 75 days ago

I read through chapter 2. This was a pleasure to read and reminded me of a Dan Brown novel. It's obvious you've done your research. Part of chapter one read like Exodus to me, the measurements, etc. The creation of manna and the way you weave the words of Jesus into your story was clever! Highly starred! Good luck! Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 91 days ago

Written by a master of the English language is my first reaction to this work. Backed of course. The genre might be changed to literary fiction. The introduction is excellent but one item jarred my read. The first use of a quotation might be roughened-up a bit from perfect grammar into more of a stone age expression of thought. A suggestion is to transition from broken speech into perfect English as the dialogue progresses. (The need to enlarge a home is germane to current circumstances in society, but was it a factor for cavemen to express?) Great humor though. Good work, I'm sure it will do well in the marketplace. Chuck

Diwrite wrote 117 days ago

Rich, eloquent, powerful.
What a fantastic piece of historical fiction.
Your novel is clearly very well researched, so important in this genre.

This has an epic feel to it. Well done.
I'll find space on my shelf for it soon.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Sharda D wrote 8 days ago

Hi Laurence,
a return read for your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams. Thanks again for that.

This is very well researched, beautifully written prose. You have a strongly visual writing style with a real eye for detail. My only niggle is at times there was a little too much detail and it made the writing a tad dense in places and slows the pace. Perhaps more variation in sentence length would help. Not sure. E.g. the bit where he's watching the opening and closing mouth of his persecutor, is probably superfluous (all the detail about the placement of his teeth!) and slows the pace. We see the image in our head without having to know the exact placement of his teeth. Anyway, hopefully you understand what I mean. It's only a slight niggle, so feel free to ignore!

As it stands it is an enjoyable, well crafted read, well done.
6 stars from me,
all the best,
Sharda.

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

C1 cont 4:

14) Comma and reword; ‘Returning the crucible into the furnace, he waited for the molten gold to return to the colour he wanted, before offering it once again to the iron box.’ → also ‘offering’ instead of offered creates variation in verbs – ‘waited and wanted’ are ‘ed’, now we have an ‘ing’ .
15) ‘Eight times the old man repeated the heating and cooling process.’ → need more transition into next sentence, it’s a little out of the blue..
16) I’m not a fan of capitalizing an entire word in dialogue, but that’s your choice of course, I don’t think there’s any rules as such! I occasionally italicize if I want emphasis, but only occasionally so the effect is ruined. By having the dialogue tags such as screaming/etc, you can create the tone of voice anyway, just in my opinion
17) I’d merge sentences; ‘One grabbed a ring handle, and the four-foot square door opened with ease on its well-greased hinges’ → otherwise there are three shortish sentences in a row

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

C1 cont 4:

14) Comma and reword; ‘Returning the crucible into the furnace, he waited for the molten gold to return to the colour he wanted, before offering it once again to the iron box.’ → also ‘offering’ instead of offered creates variation in verbs – ‘waited and wanted’ are ‘ed’, now we have an ‘ing’ .
15) ‘Eight times the old man repeated the heating and cooling process.’ → need more transition into next sentence, it’s a little out of the blue..
16) I’m not a fan of capitalizing an entire word in dialogue, but that’s your choice of course, I don’t think there’s any rules as such! I occasionally italicize if I want emphasis, but only occasionally so the effect is ruined. By having the dialogue tags such as screaming/etc, you can create the tone of voice anyway, just in my opinion
17) I’d merge sentences; ‘One grabbed a ring handle, and the four-foot square door opened with ease on its well-greased hinges’ → otherwise there are three shortish sentences in a row

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

C1 cont 3

11) Dialogue tag ‘Lefrage exploded’ → ‘exploded’ is quite a modern term, I think? I have been criticized for using ‘modernish’ words in an older setting (given my book has a medieval sort of feel). I wonder if perhaps ‘exploded’ here is also a little jarring for the setting. E.g. a wild alternative; ‘Lefrage’s lips burst open, releasing the word with the fury of a desperate archer in battle.’ Not saying to make all dialogue tags all flowery like this, but always try and think about the world within which your story is taking place. Having said that, this is of course extreme pickiness. I actually don’t think ‘exploded’ is that jarring, but some of the fussy people commenting about these more modern words in my book my think so… : )
12) I’d say ‘The old man gave a kindly smile to ease the tension, before fixing each of the men…’ → remove ‘immediately’ to save it for those tense action scenes.
13) I’d say ‘The formulae given by those tablets has enabled me to unlock incredible power.’ → more natural sounding?

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

C1 cont 2

5) Sentence ‘The pick would still…’ → you say ‘by the door’ and ‘by the river’, perhaps reword to eliminate this repetition
6) ‘Time was running out’ → perhaps a little cliché? You could say ‘the cleric’s urgent voice taking a sharper tone’ → the urgency conveys the feeling of time running out
7) Comma; ‘It beckoned to him, filling his spirit’ → again for same reasons as above, need to split the action at this point.
8) ‘eyeballs about to pop from their sockets’ → I said this in my chapter ‘Last Messenger’ with the guy running. Was criticized… and I changed, to make more original less cliché.
9) Comma; ‘Malnourished, exhausted, and gasping for breath, he clasped..’
10) I’d reword; ‘Moonlight bathed one side of the wide street.’ → more active?

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

C1 editorial suggestions 1:
1) comma in second sentence; ‘A brilliant full moon burst from behind a cloud, flooding Lisbon’s narrow back streets’ → need to break up the two actions of the moon ‘burst’ing out, and then ‘flooding’
2) I’d reword to eliminated passive voice ‘were packed’ → ‘Small wooden dwellings packed the streets, hastily built to house…’
3) Reword to make smoother → ‘Churches once dotting the surrounding countryside had been absorbed, along with the grand stone mansions…’ → don’t need ‘old Lisbon’ because setting has already been established. Also, this eliminates the double had of ‘had once’ ‘had been’
4) Comma; ‘The prisoner screamed, his broken hands’ → needs to be separated because the screaming is not an action associated to the hands, ‘although the screaming is about the hands.

Cara Gold wrote 14 days ago

{The Cross of Goa} – Laurence Howard

Vivid imagery, luscious writing, plenty of tension and a gripping storyline, I think this book has what it takes to be an epic historical thriller. The setting and background is well established through the scenes in the past, and the action is engaging. I look forward to continuing after clearing up a few reading debts!

I have made some detailed editorial suggestions on chapter 1, in thanks for your support of ‘Dawn of Destruction’. However having trouble posting long comments at the moment, so I'll try and break it down, or else you can contact me at goldcara6@gmail.com so I can email them to you!
Best wishes,
Cara

Dean Lombardo wrote 16 days ago

Hi Laurence,
I was drawn to the premise of this interesting historical-based adventure novel.
I read Chapter 1. Very good opening scene, followed by another, etc. Nice brief, seamless integration of background history (for example, De Silva's torture and rescue at Toledo). Once this is in print, it's going to make a great vacation novel for a lot of people.
A few nitpicks:
The first chapter is a bit intimidatingly long for online reading. This won't be an issue once it is in print.
"persecutors diseased mouth" should say "persecutor's diseased mouth"
"hacked there way" should say "hacked their way"
Highly starred, and thank you for taking me away on an adventure to foreign lands on this rainy Sunday morning.
Dean Lombardo
"Space Games"

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 17 days ago

Howard,
Starting with powerful backstory, "The Cross of Goa" proceeds like a mighty vessel into modern times, its precious cargo to shine, astound and enrapture. This epic tale with its beginnings emanating from the lore of the Knights Templar, is wonderfully woven together with relevant detail and historical consistency. Once caught up in the story, one feels the power of something larger than life, a rush if you will, promising stupendous denouement. Your narrative is full of meticulous descriptives, your dialogue true to character. Thank you for the mesmerizing read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

katemb wrote 22 days ago

I have just read Chapter One so far. Great scene making, rich descriptions and high epic style. I could easily see this as a series of scenes in a movie opening.

I'm reluctant to criticise as I can fully appreciate the amount of work and commitment that must have gone into this novel. For my personal taste, though, it borders on being over-written. I just have the sense that your love of description and the richness of language at times outweighs the demands of the story and the need for character development. If you could pare things back a little, for me, it would have more pace and energy.

Hope you are okay with that. So much of this is subjective.
Best wishes,
Kate

Tarri wrote 26 days ago

Lawrence, I have to admit I was somewhat awed and intimidated at 155K words of historical fiction based on Catholicism. The Stand (Stephen King) was only 150K! But you have a wonderful gift and I am through very long chapters (2 and 3) and moving on to 4 anticipation. I guess, with the advent of technology and long work days, my reading has become as short as my attention span. I'm enjoying your book. It may take me awhile to finish it but I will be back.

Not that I am overly concerned about the technical aspects of things but I can't figure out what "wirily" means in Chapter 2 so maybe you could check that out in your spell checker. Also, in chapter 3, check out the phrase "before she'll ever dances the waves."

Good luck! You done good! Six stars.
Tarri
Into Light

Tarri wrote 26 days ago

Lawrence, I have to admit I was somewhat awed and intimidated at 153K words of historical fiction based on Catholicism. The Stand (Stephen King) was only 150K! But you have a wonderful gift and I am through very long chapters (2 and 3) and moving on to 4 anticipation. I guess, with the advent of technology and long work days, my reading has become as short as my attention span. I'm enjoying your book. It may take me awhile to finish it but I will be back.

Not that I am overly concerned about the technical aspects of things but I can't figure out what "wirily" means in Chapter 2 so maybe you could check that out in your spell checker. Also, in chapter 3, check out the phrase "before she'll ever dances the waves."

Good luck! You done good! Six stars.
Tarri
Into Light

ozhm wrote 29 days ago

I read the prologue and the first two chapters, let it settle in my mind for a while, and I’m left with three particular impressions.

First, this is a fascinating premise, meticulously researched and obviously of enormous appeal.

Secondly, I wasn’t totally involved until I began Part 1. Do we need the prologue in its entirety, or would it be possible to weave the important facts into later chapters?

My third impression is that you might have put it up a bit soon as far as the writing itself is concerned. I know all too well how hard it is to edit your own work, but as well as the odd typo (I also found ‘loose’ instead of ‘lose’, ‘roll’ instead of ‘role’ and ‘story’ instead of ‘storey’) and inconsistent use of commas (pointed out elsewhere) some of sentence construction needs attention. For example:
‘They improved both the seed yield of a type of grass they had learned to harvest, domesticated beasts turned large grinding stones...and continued to experiment...’ – I got the idea, but it’s fairly confusing.

‘...lay under the glow of a heavy silver candelabrum with an ancient form of writing, clearly depicted, cut into the top surface...’ – the tablets were engraved, not the candelabra.

‘ “Please be seated, Father,” gesturing with his hand to the leather chair and sat behind his polished mahogany desk.’ – verb confusion, no subject (quite a few of these).

It seems a shame to let slips like this go when it has so much going for it.
Good luck with it
Helen

markin2500 wrote 30 days ago

Muy Bueno Laurence --------( that's Australian for 'very good'). I hope I am able to stem the tide and get your masterpiece back on the upward track.

Michael Arkin

Pollyanna Pilsbury wrote 34 days ago

Hi, well this certainly is an epic.
It is perfectly written, in my opinion, no negative comments on the story line.
Some of your sentences are broken up by line spaces, but that's probably due to uploading on this site. It happens alot. As some of your paragraphs are indented, others not. Not a problem.
As it's complete I'll keep hold of it and read more, when I have more time.
Superb reading!
Pollyanna. 'Marsupeople'.

Michael Johnson wrote 44 days ago

Hello, Laurence.

Thanks for supporting Just Making Sure.

I’ve now been able to find the time to finish reading The Cross of Goa. The book fairly flies along, with one cliff-hanger falling swiftly into another. The long-running battle in Australia and the repeated surge and resurgence of events on the island never let up and never lose the narrative tension. The ability to sustain narrative tension is certainly a strong point of yours.

Another strong point is your ability to create detailed visualisation. The descriptions of specifics such as the cross, scenery and the lay-out of fight scenes are all impressive. You conjure images of dramatic incidents, storms at sea and historical events very vividly.

In the plot you reconcile history, religion, the occult, science and science fiction. This surely has the interest to appeal to a market that is quite strong at the moment.

You went to a certain depth in the portrayal of your characters, with references to formative experiences in the childhoods of Radcliffe and Jean-Claude, particularly. You also touched on the background of characters like Omollo and Kurt and, of course, Carmen. I was tempted to see a link between the workaholics, Captain Rodriguez and Chief Inspector Charles Hawkins. I suspect you have a personal sympathy for these two characters. For a book of this type, I think your character development is fine. For my own personal taste, I would have liked to see Radcliffe’s childhood traumas brought more clearly into play, perhaps introducing them earlier and showing an effect by them on his behaviour and feelings during the course of the story. This is just a thought. At any rate, I think that, with your wealth of experience, you have the potential to work in a lot of character development along those lines.

The only part I was a little uncomfortable with was the prologue. The reason for having it is clear, but I thought the characters came across too much as the ‘noble savage’ types.

You may already know that there are a number of spelling mistakes in the manuscript. This is normal. I’ll just point out that most of them involve a misspelt vowel, especially where there is a similar word with a different meaning.

So, Laurence, I wish you the best of luck with this book. It’s a very entertaining piece of work.

If you could possibly mention Just Making Sure to your friends, I’d be very grateful.

Best wishes,
Michael (Felix Bradninch).

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 45 days ago

Dear Laurence

I have read the prologue and first chapter of "The Cross of Goa" this evening. Wow! You have taken me on a journey through eons of time, skillfully and colourfully paving the way with a sweeping historical perspective and seamless narrative.

I cannot vouch for the historical accuracy of what is contained here, yet I hardly care. What you have postulated is still a gripping read, invested with thought, powerful insight and real depth of feeling. I am very impressed.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

scargirl wrote 54 days ago

such a strong premise. i really enjoy pieces of historical fiction like this.
j

earthlover wrote 75 days ago

I read through chapter 2. This was a pleasure to read and reminded me of a Dan Brown novel. It's obvious you've done your research. Part of chapter one read like Exodus to me, the measurements, etc. The creation of manna and the way you weave the words of Jesus into your story was clever! Highly starred! Good luck! Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

AudreyB wrote 80 days ago

Hi, Laurence; I’m finally here to check out your book. As you may have heard, I am often accompanied on my reviews by my English teacher alter-ego, The Grammar Hag. If I say anything you don’t like, it was probably her idea.

I like the opening in the cave. I think readers have enough natural curiosity about our ancient ancestors that they’ll stay with the story through this chapter. You focus on childbirth, a universally happy event and one which naturally focuses our attention on the future.

When I reached the paragraph that began with ‘global warming,’ I thought it odd to see such a modern phrase tucked into your ms. It appears to me that you’re making the point that the Earth goes through these changes without any help from man—a point I agree with wholeheartedly—but I think the point is pretty clear without the use of the term.

I have never done any research into the actual flood during Noah’s time, so I have no idea if you’ve represented it as factually as possible. But I hope you have, because this is a very cool story you’ve crafted!

Wow—on to the Inquisition. Such a dark period. I have dozens of questions rolling through my mind: how does this connect to No’ah? (Besides in the one way I know about!) How will the gold play a role? Hmmm…definitely keeps me reading.

You’ve also tapped into the everlasting mystery of manna. You really have a talent for crafting scenes around these sort of eternal images and ideas.

I keep having to stop and Google names and places. I can’t speak for all readers, but I enjoy books like this that send me on detours through Wikipedia.

I don’t typically read these epic stories that span the centuries, but this is a good one. Best of luck to you, Laurence!!

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Mr. Nom de Plume wrote 91 days ago

Written by a master of the English language is my first reaction to this work. Backed of course. The genre might be changed to literary fiction. The introduction is excellent but one item jarred my read. The first use of a quotation might be roughened-up a bit from perfect grammar into more of a stone age expression of thought. A suggestion is to transition from broken speech into perfect English as the dialogue progresses. (The need to enlarge a home is germane to current circumstances in society, but was it a factor for cavemen to express?) Great humor though. Good work, I'm sure it will do well in the marketplace. Chuck

Bria Heart wrote 110 days ago

Okay this book so turned me off from the very first chapter.
It is really hard to read a book about cave men and women. THE ROCK AGES as it were.

Sorry too be blunt.

However your title, pitch, and style of writing is VERY GOOD. Those things drew me to the book.

Bria Heart <3

Diwrite wrote 117 days ago

Rich, eloquent, powerful.
What a fantastic piece of historical fiction.
Your novel is clearly very well researched, so important in this genre.

This has an epic feel to it. Well done.
I'll find space on my shelf for it soon.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Diwrite wrote 117 days ago

Rich, eloquent, powerful.
What a fantastic piece of historical fiction.
Your novel is clearly very well researched, so important in this genre.

This has an epic feel to it. Well done.
I'll find space on my shelf for it soon.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Diwrite wrote 117 days ago

Rich, eloquent, powerful.
What a fantastic piece of historical fiction.
Your novel is clearly very well researched, so important in this genre.

This has an epic feel to it. Well done.
I'll find space on my shelf for it soon.

Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Olive Field wrote 118 days ago

WOW! This was a wonderful read. Read a couple of chapters from start, middle and end to get a feel for the story. This is an epic tale. I can only imagine the hard work and research you have done to produce such well structured and captivating story. Love the banter between Slaughter and Chiltern.
I wish you the very best and have no dought that The Cross of Goa will be published.
Six Stars.
Olive.

jsault2003 wrote 131 days ago

There are some instances of awkward sentence construction:
Stars cluttered the heavens, hanging like coruscating snowflakes, falling slowly, eternally fall from the cosmos.

Chapter 1

Be careful with comma usage. Some commas hinder the flow, as with…Churches, which had once dotted the countryside surrounding old Lisbon had been absorbed, alone with the grand stone mansions, eclipsed by the clutter of new houses.

While careful usage enhances the sentence as in…The second floors of the houses overhung the narrow streets, offering perfect concealment to any nefarious character of the night. (You might consider eliminating this comma for an even better flow.)

The sentence does not flow as too many commas hinder its potential grace.

They had hacked there (their) way…

The main characters of Chapter 1 are well developed and sound very real for the time period and the task to which they endeavor.

A very in-depth and detailed story. The descriptive flow of the paragraphs give testimony to the detailed research you invested to established a realistic feel.

Chapter 2

Good use of body language in describing the discomfort of the Bishop.

…young men turning to the cloth, there (their) feelings of fear and hate…

The inclusion of additional action in Chapter 2 could help the storyline from getting bogged down in details. There are two scenes where more descriptive action could improve the credibility of the story. One of these scenes is where you describe the fire that Admiral da Gama causes on board the ship that has Muslin pilgrims traveling to Mecca. How did they encounter the ship? Was there an exchange of gunfire where the other ship was overpowered? Describe the cannon fire striking the ship causing it to fall into a helpless state.

The second scene could be where Father Benedict and the Portuguese soldiers died in combat.

Your story abounds with the imagery of desperation. I feel the tension of the story as the conflict increases between those who would be considered the believers and those labeled heretics. The story is as intriguing as the high risk the men who visit De Silva are taking.

I have enough comfort in the writing to give it my support.

Wanttobeawriter wrote 139 days ago

CROSS OF GOA
I like the way this book covers such a long span of time all the way back from when the “shining rock” was discovered up to the present. You’ve obviously done a lot of research to be ready to write this and it shows in your detailed writing style. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Philthy wrote 146 days ago

Hi Laurence,

I’m here for a return read. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions, so take them for whatever they’re worth.

Small thing, but there should be a comma after “Missing since 1721”

“concealed the powers of gold?” What are the powers of gold? Should it be “God?” (or god…not meaning to throw my Catholic roots into the mix :P).

Ah. “Fiery Cross of Goa…” I would say that whole title in the short pitch. Otherwise, you’re going to have religion folk confused.

Need a comma after “Seized by pirates in 1721”

This is a very intriguing premise, but I think the long pitch can be whittled down to just the hook-ish parts of the story. Be careful not to dilute the impact of the hooks by adding too much detail or backstory. At least not in the pitch.

Prologue

The commas around “and woman” are unnecessary

Again, I love the premise, but you start off by telling. This info can probably be smoothed out and distributed more in the prologue while the story unfolds. Just something to think about.

Chapter 1

“Sharp teeth of shadow cut mystical patterns…” I love this imagery, as well as “slithering like a dark snake from the corner of his mouth.” Excellent!

“black robed” should be hyphenated in this context. “Black-robed cleric” is hyphenated. The cleric wore black robes would not be. It’s when it precedes the noun it’s modifying that it’s hyphenated.

This first chapter is more powerful than the prologue in my opinion. Very dark and almost harrowing in how it’s written. Great impact with this scene.

The descriptions are mesmerizing, but I think the imagery tied to the dialogue could be strengthened. It isn’t just the words between speakers that are used to communicate. Expressions, gestures, etc.

This is great. Like a lot of writers, commas are overlooked, but that’s an easy thing to fix. The writing is strong, the story is wonderful. I think the prologue probably tells too much backstory all at once, but that might be deliberate. Ultimately, this is worth reading and worthy of a backing on my humble little shelf. As soon as I get some space, I’ll get it up there.

Best of luck with this and thanks for sharing it!
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)



Philthy wrote 146 days ago

Hi Laurence,

I’m here for a return read. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions, so take them for whatever they’re worth.

Small thing, but there should be a comma after “Missing since 1721”

“concealed the powers of gold?” What are the powers of gold? Should it be “God?” (or god…not meaning to throw my Catholic roots into the mix :P).

Ah. “Fiery Cross of Goa…” I would say that whole title in the short pitch. Otherwise, you’re going to have religion folk confused.

Need a comma after “Seized by pirates in 1721”

This is a very intriguing premise, but I think the long pitch can be whittled down to just the hook-ish parts of the story. Be careful not to dilute the impact of the hooks by adding too much detail or backstory. At least not in the pitch.

Prologue

The commas around “and woman” are unnecessary

Again, I love the premise, but you start off by telling. This info can probably be smoothed out and distributed more in the prologue while the story unfolds. Just something to think about.

Chapter 1

“Sharp teeth of shadow cut mystical patterns…” I love this imagery, as well as “slithering like a dark snake from the corner of his mouth.” Excellent!

“black robed” should be hyphenated in this context. “Black-robed cleric” is hyphenated. The cleric wore black robes would not be. It’s when it precedes the noun it’s modifying that it’s hyphenated.

This first chapter is more powerful than the prologue in my opinion. Very dark and almost harrowing in how it’s written. Great impact with this scene.

The descriptions are mesmerizing, but I think the imagery tied to the dialogue could be strengthened. It isn’t just the words between speakers that are used to communicate. Expressions, gestures, etc.

This is great. Like a lot of writers, commas are overlooked, but that’s an easy thing to fix. The writing is strong, the story is wonderful. I think the prologue probably tells too much backstory all at once, but that might be deliberate. Ultimately, this is worth reading and worthy of a backing on my humble little shelf. As soon as I get some space, I’ll get it up there.

Best of luck with this and thanks for sharing it!
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)



John Bayliss wrote 152 days ago

I have read the Prologue and the first two chapters of "The Cross of Goa" and enjoyed them immensely. This is a good old-fashioned adventure yarn that will appeal both to history buffs and to people who just enjoy a good story. It reminded me rather of James Clavell's novels (though as I see that "Shogun" and "Tai-Pan" are in your list of favourite books, perhaps that isn't a coincidence) and Clavell's fans will probably love this novel too.

I have two very minor criticisms: one is that some of the scenes seem to go on a little too long, which tempted me to skip ahead to find out where they were leading. A little judicious editing might help - it won't need a lot, maybe just where a character uses two sentences when they might just as easily use one. The other criticism is that some of the historical characters use contractions like "won't" and "can't" - to me, that doesn't quite fit the tone and I found myself mentally re-writing the dialogue to "will not" and "cannot". (I suspect most readers probably won't care; this is just a preference of mine.) For modern day characters the contractions are fine.

Overall, "The Cross of Goa" is an enjoyable read and I am glad that you brought it to my attention. Good luck with it!

best wishes and good writing
John

Dianna Lanser wrote 161 days ago

Laurence Howard - The Cross of Goa

I’m so glad the you introduced me to your book. I was totally taken in by the plot, the characters and settings. Your ability to imagine post ice-age people, early 16th century dilemmas and a newly designed “ark” is really quite remarkable. And how you ever came up with gold being refined to manna is genius. I wonder if it was coincidence or providence that I just read in the Bible this morning - John 6:41 where Jesus himself claimed to be the bread which came down from heaven. Makes me wonder what God is trying to say to me…

Anyway, your book is as masterfully created as Frederico de Silva’s ark----inspired, artistically detailed, professionally crafted. This is a book I will read to the end and most likely back. Six stars!

A couple things to draw to your attention:
In chapter one -

Paragraph beginning, “That night excavating deeper into the mountain… Prising (prying?) a lump of the strange…

Paragraph beginning, “But above all, trust our Lord Sumer…” is (his) voice just a whisper.

Paragraph beginning, “They all felt the warm pulsating…” There bodies become (became) weightless…

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

bunderful wrote 184 days ago

This is as captivating as any of the books of this type that I see in stores. Well written, good descriptions, interesting characters and just enough mystery to keep the pages turning. It seems you have done a tremendous amount of research to render your story so accurately. I am envious of people who can tell tales such as these, and I would instantly be drawn to read such a book if I saw it in a story.

All the best,

Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Natalia wrote 218 days ago

Easy-to-read, an awesome plot, strong characters, reaching different genres and with wide appeal, with beautiful descriptions, an exceptional and unsurpassed story, with a timeless quality, brilliantly researched, told as from a Storyteller to children, difficult to distinguish fact from fiction, the great writing leads you to wanting to learn more, mix of history and myth, the writing is controlled and artfully crafted with passion and definitive skill, a thoroughly engaging text that delivers on all fronts, it expanded my expectations, it brings the reader to the edge of their seat, a fascinating story, 6 stars, the whole package!

It is a tale of epic proportions, the mark of a masterful writer, It feels like you are reading a published book, between Follett and Brown, I am surprised that a publisher has not taken it up. An immediate candidate for movie production!!!

jlbwye wrote 221 days ago

Cross of Goa. I see you cherry-picked my last review, all of four months ago. How time flies. I cant keep away...

Ch.3. A little nit: wouldnt you prefer, from where Radclyffe is standing, the gaping mouth sucked the sun baked air into its cavernous belly (you dont need the first 'in' and probably not the 'hot' either).
You set the scene so well, with the beams of sunlight and the tension as Radclyffe waits for his bride is palpable. But hadnt you better give his full name when he first appears in the chapter, not several paragraphs down...
Shouldnt it be she slightly taller than he? - or even re-phrase the sentence entirely...
I can hear the cathedral vault reverberating with the organ's cacaphony - great words.
Then a touch of humour amid the haste to be done with the service. You hit just the right note.
Dont you mean the catastrophe was imminent.
With the crew and the passengers, I heave a sigh of relief as the ship turns to run before the wind.
Then I am quite exhausted by the storm.
But I think you mean Rodriguez let his mind wander... heedless of the clutter and debris before him.
What a dramatic chapter.

Ch.4. Back to the 21st century. That's a surprise, and what a striking description of the art dealer waiting for the tube.
More disastrous happenings, and the murder mystery is about to be solved...
This is a very short chapter compared to the others.

Ch.5. Another short chapter and a sudden change. I am getting confused in the shifts of time, and wonder if you cant introduce the action a little more gently.
Your style is first class, as ever, but the story is turning a little lumpy.
And what has all this to do with the Cross of Goa - I ask. But no doubt all will be revealed in due course.

Jane (Breath of Africa)

Brian Bandell wrote 224 days ago

I like your story and you write like a professional. The set up here is strong as it makes the plot feel important. I'm interested to see where this goes.

Typo: “He helped us survive,” HIS voice just a whisper.

Manna was not taken from the Jews following the Golden Calf. They still received manna in the wilderness up until they entered Israel. However, they did complain about the manna at several points and were punished for it.

If you goal is to get published, then 146k words it going to be tough to convince a publisher to take on. Only established authors get the leeway to write that long, although some ebook publishers might let you get away with it. Still, you should consider shortening it.

Great job here. I'll back it.

Brian Bandell
Mute

Sue50 wrote 236 days ago

Happy to back your writing! Hope you have a chance to take a look at Dark Side by CC Brown. Good Luck.
Sue50

Bill Scott wrote 249 days ago

I could very easily visualize everything. The description of the cross and the little boy hiding in the street watching the men, all of it was done nicely. I'm sorry I only had time for the prologue and 1. The purpose of the segment where he turned the gold into the white powder threw me a bit because I didn't get the relevance. I'm sure the purpose will be revealed later, if it was there and I missed it then argh.

If this was a return read, sorry for the delay.

Best
Bill Scott
Haktaw Heart

kiwigirl2011 wrote 269 days ago

Hi Laurence, wow what an adventure! I love books like this. Reminds me obviously of a Dan Brown style of book but is original all the same. Very clever (give us this day our daily bread), you weave clues in like a master storyteller. This is the kind of book I would buy my mother for her birthday and then wait impatiently for her to finish so I could read it too!
A few things I noticed:
- With inadequate food Shane’ Ur IV was forced to abandon the cave. – also mentioned like this a little further on...was the letter k supposed to be dropped? Earlier the original and then his descendants were named Shanek Ur
- She sat sowing on the porch of their small wooden hut by the stream – should this be sewing?
- The soldier smashed his rifle into Miguel’s scull – this should be skull
- He hurled himself to the corner the men had turned and gingerly peering round – doesn’t make sense.
- Deep farrows etched by a lifetime hardwork – perhaps insert the word ‘of’ before hardwork?
- It feels like the name de Silva is mentioned too often, almost every time Lefrage speaks to him.
- There has never been a worst time or place since.... I think you need to replace worst with worse? Also the sentence finishes with a ? which I think is unnecessary.
- Holding is arms up in joyous admiration – should be his
- “We can’t waist anymore time!” – should be waste
- “I feel as though I’ve drank a vat of wine” – I think this should read drunk
I’m enjoying this read immensely and will keep it on my WL to return to and read more. Looking forward to seeing this develop. A fantastic book!
Tammy


sweet honey wrote 276 days ago

I have only read the first chapter and felt like I was reading a published book. I'm sure it would make a good film script too. The writing is almost flawless, the descriptions are apt, the characters, from the prologue to the first chapter, captured my attention. Who wouldn't want to read more?

Walden Carrington wrote 328 days ago

Laurence,
The Cross of Goa has been on my watchlist for several days and I was pleased to place it on my shelf today after a brief review. I enjoyed the geographic history of the world presented in the prologue and then you end by quoting Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. It's a charming beginning to a very imaginative story with an enormous amount of research. The intrigue of the storyline outlined in the synopsis is breathtaking and the suspense of this narrative creates a very compelling account.

Walden Carrington
Titanic: Rose Dawson's Story

M. Iqbal wrote 332 days ago

Very exciting opening, successfully setting up the sweeping adventure to follow. Such grand scale novels are difficult to write well, but this really grabbed me and managed to expand my expectations at every turn.

Highly rated.

M. Iqbal

P.S Thank you for your kind comments on my own work.

Roman N Marek wrote 348 days ago

This is an interesting and exciting story with a broad sweep that I think could have a wide appeal. It is written in an easy-to-read style, although it does need a bit of editing, as others have already commented. I found a few typos in the Prologue and Ch.1, which I will send you in a message.
I also have a few comments and suggestions, which you can act on or ignore, as you see fit. The first thing that hit me was the very first line. The date of 75,000 years ago sounds a little too recent and I am not convinced their venturing out of Africa was all that heroic – more likely to have been a case of survival and necessity, and more of a gradual migration than a mass ‘venturing into the unknown’.
I found the last two paragraphs of the Prologue a bit of a non sequitur after what had gone before, as though they’d been cut and pasted from somewhere else. The writing in these two paragraphs feels a bit rushed and confusing, and nowhere near as clear as the story that precedes it. I think a little more explanation here would help to make it more understandable and interesting – what are the ‘powers’ of the yellow stone, in what way were the ‘secrets’ recorded (stone or parchment or clay, and in what language?), what form did the treasures take? (This is gradually revealed in Ch.1, but it would be good to have some of that information here – if you feel you need to say it here at all, that is). What’s the distinction between the ‘warrior monks’ and the Knights of Christ? They appear to be the same thing and yet not the same thing.
I must admit I had to Google Baphomet to learn the significance of Miguel’s last utterance.
One thing I couldn’t understand (sorry to be so dense) was what the ‘unimaginable power’ of the Cross is, or rather of the gold from which the Cross is made. I think that was partly because I couldn’t follow de Silva’s demonstration clearly enough in my head to comprehend why his audience were so awestruck. Had the stuff just disappeared, or was it still there but weightless? And how would this have helped the Egyptians build the pyramids, Moses make the Ark, etc? And why does it need to be smuggled away from the Inquisition? Eventually, some of the gold’s power became clear to me when they used it to help lift the heavy cross. I guess that sort of explained the business of the pyramids. But, still, why is this such an awesome power that it has to be hidden away in a far-off land out of the knowledge of the Inquisition? I think a little more explanation here, and of de Silva’s little demo, and of how this power could be used (in the 16th century), would help slower witted readers such as myself.
Anyway, a good title, a good pitch and a good read.

jlbwye wrote 353 days ago

Cross of Goa. I didnt mean it to be over three months before coming back to your book - and I cant remember where I left off, because I wasnt so organised then...

Ch.1. It's as if I'm reading it for the first time. Torture, death and intrigue. And the title of the book shows its appropriateness from the beginning.
Dont you mean the Knights of Christ hacked their way through the castle guard?
Like Lefrage and the others, I desparately want De Silva to hurry.
The discription of the cross reads like an excerpt from the Old Testament. I wish there were a diagram of it, for my mind cannot picture the words. Oh - I have just looked again at your cover, which tells it all. You think of everything.

Ch.2. Perhaps you should re-phrase the sentence 'He then looted it, and then fired it.'
And do you need the word twist to appear twice in one sentence?
These are mere nits. I am utterly drawn into your story, which re-lives history in such a vivid way.
Another nit: Fr Benedict was haunted by nightmares of the atrocities.
I like the alliteration of the horses' hooves clipping the cobbles.
You dispense with Fr. Benedict quite abruptly, but I understand that there's a long way to go with your story.

Maxi-starred, and onto my w'list for further rotation. Thankyou for this great read.
Jane (Breath of Africa).

mrsdfwt wrote 356 days ago

Laurence,
When i started reading The Cross of Goa, my thoughts went to the novels of Jean Auel, but then i find myself in the streets of Lisbon and although i speak of this city in my book, yours gave me a totally different perspective. I like it! The read is totally beyond me, however as a reader, I have the most profound respect for you. Brilliantly written and i believe you have done your research, your story is as authentic as i have ever read.
Six stars now, and put on the long line up for the shelf.
Maria
Dark of the Moon

monicque wrote 356 days ago

HI there Laurence!! I have come to have a read of your work. From the blurb, it sounds very interesting.
It's very easy to read laurence. Well written. There are a few adverbs that I would remove, but other than that, the writing is great.
In the first part of chapter 1, was the shining rock gold? Maybe if you describe it as "golden" or "yellow" we will understand that better. Had they not seen other metals that they would compare it with?

very good first section, and I like the reference from the book of thomas.
haha, i like the eyeball rolling into his head.
Woah. I only had time to read the first chapter, but thank you very much for sharing. I will rate you highly!! Thank you, and good luck with your work. :)

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 368 days ago

Lawrence,
You've woven a tale of epic proportions. The historical element coupled with fast-paced action and mystic renderings give your work mass appeal. Radcliffe's tinkering with timespace to accomplish his goals is certainly a yardstick by which we can measure our resolve in accomplishing our own ambitions in a more mundane setting. Make the impossible possible. Thank you so much for the magnificent read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
Thge North Korean

B A Morton wrote 368 days ago

Laurence,
I've been reading this for the past few days, and have to say, it draws you in. The pitch is a winner... Templar Knights, hidden gold, pirates! I could go on, but it's simply delicious. Then the beginning with the mystical origins of the gold and it's progress charted through history. This would make a great movie. I've just finished ch10 and reading on. Happy to support you in June when I'll have space on my shelf. In the meantime, sprinkled with well deserving stars.
Good luck with this.
Babs

JupiterGirl wrote 373 days ago

Hi Laurence, I found your work to be Incredibly epic. Not only is it written with a historian's crafted slant, but it definitely has an edge to it which moves the plot along beautifully. On my shelf and I'm looking forward to reading more. JupiterGirl (Twins of the Astral Plane)

M. A. McRae. wrote 397 days ago

Well written, and a fascinating story. (I read chapter 1 and dipped into several more chapters.) It still needs some editing, as I noticed a few typos (in a separate message.)
Well done and to be backed. Marj.