Goliath

Goliath

Attention readers: This book deserves top 100 rating on this site! The author has my respect for refusal to engage in blind back-slapping.

That which made Hallelujah for Leonard Cohen, will do the same for Alistair Forrest, for they both have a common focus: David, King David. This is the David who we sing about in the carol 'Once in Royal David's City', the same who was traced as ancestor to Jesus Christ in genealogy carefully guarded by bible historians. The book could alternately have been titled 'David', but it was Goliath who made David and I agree with the author's choice.

Among historic written records which issue from the last few millenia, few have shaped western civilisation collectively more than The Bible. Interpretation of holy scriptures was for centuries restricted to high priests of dominant religous orders, who used and abused them to their own ends. What many hold today as sacred bible record may bear little resemblance to reality in the day of origin; this is a starting point for the book. It is thus based on latest findings and interpretation of records, not purely on a biblical account.

The bible story which many were brought up on is thus transformed. It's weight is carried by a hard hitting, fleshed-out and gritty account of Israelite history. Without mincing words, it depicts the family and social dynamics from which the boy David emerged to become a revered warrior and leader of people. Attention to detail is evident in the rich scene setting detail, including terrain, plantlife, dress, tools, weapons, vehicles and foodstuffs. As a keen birder, I was even tickled by birdlife references drawn in: the hoopoe, the bee-eater and the ox-pecker.

Another significant domain within is that of polytheism. By the hands of bible writers, both ancient and modern a contiguous theme of concern is The Real God. The Israelites are ultimately portrayed as being led by, and serving the one true God, but Bible records do not fail to recount the frequent apostasies to which they were prone. The people 'wore allegiance on their sleeves', pledging themselves in much the same way that football supporters do today. The author has related this meaningfully.

This is a polished work, ready for the picking. Backed.

Lee G Wood
Trekking the Pyrenees Coast to Coast

Turning the biblical Goliath story into a thriller seems like a great idea! It is also well done, in a pacy story with a strong narrative flow and vivid characters - I especially enjoyed the way you depicted Samuel in C3, but each character has his own clear voice. You also have a great way with descriptions - the sound of a name 'like the first bite of a roasted locust' in C1, or the vision of daybreak with 'Dawn was shy and hesitant like a scolded maidservant' in C2. I also enjoyed the clever hooks at the chapter ends that kept me turning pages. Overall this is very polished work I'll be happy to back with no nitpicks.

Well, it was never like this in scripture lesson when I was at school, mores the pity!
Wonderfully told, exciting and imaginative and a thundering good read.

HI Alistair, It is a smooth reading fictional story. It held my interest and I wish you well. I back your book. Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley

Now, if the scriptures had been told like this, I might have paid more attention in religious education. Such a powerful and strong story. It's pacy, you don't get caught up in the finicky details that so many succumb to, and more importantly, you make it believable, linking it in so smoothly with what's already lain out in the bible.

I want to be ale to say something constructive, but nothing comes to mind. This is polished, and anything I pick up would be unwelcome opinion only.
Backed.
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules are made to be broken." - Relic

Goliath

I get the impression there has been a lot of thought and research in this, it doesn’t have the feel just being spewed out of someone mind. You have a great handle on using sensory predicates that adds to the richness of the narrative. A great story, very well told. – Good luck

I like historical fiction so despite your warning that you are grumpy, I read this. It's a good read. The research you must have done to be able to write this shows through. It makes you able to describe scenes with confidence and bring your characters to life. And, with apologies to the Bible version, makes this the easier to read choice. I'm adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of SAlt).

Goliath

Attention readers: This book deserves top 100 rating on this site! The author has my respect for refusal to engage in blind back-slapping.

That which made Hallelujah for Leonard Cohen, will do the same for Alistair Forrest, for they both have a common focus: David, King David. This is the David who we sing about in the carol 'Once in Royal David's City', the same who was traced as ancestor to Jesus Christ in genealogy carefully guarded by bible historians. The book could alternately have been titled 'David', but it was Goliath who made David and I agree with the author's choice.

Among historic written records which issue from the last few millenia, few have shaped western civilisation collectively more than The Bible. Interpretation of holy scriptures was for centuries restricted to high priests of dominant religous orders, who used and abused them to their own ends. What many hold today as sacred bible record may bear little resemblance to reality in the day of origin; this is a starting point for the book. It is thus based on latest findings and interpretation of records, not purely on a biblical account.

The bible story which many were brought up on is thus transformed. It's weight is carried by a hard hitting, fleshed-out and gritty account of Israelite history. Without mincing words, it depicts the family and social dynamics from which the boy David emerged to become a revered warrior and leader of people. Attention to detail is evident in the rich scene setting detail, including terrain, plantlife, dress, tools, weapons, vehicles and foodstuffs. As a keen birder, I was even tickled by birdlife references drawn in: the hoopoe, the bee-eater and the ox-pecker.

Another significant domain within is that of polytheism. By the hands of bible writers, both ancient and modern a contiguous theme of concern is The Real God. The Israelites are ultimately portrayed as being led by, and serving the one true God, but Bible records do not fail to recount the frequent apostasies to which they were prone. The people 'wore allegiance on their sleeves', pledging themselves in much the same way that football supporters do today. The author has related this meaningfully.

This is a polished work, ready for the picking. Backed.

Lee G Wood
Trekking the Pyrenees Coast to Coast

I have read Goliath...except for the chapters you missed off the end, of course...
I realise my comments aren't that helpful if I just say this is brilliant and I loved it etc, but I can't think of anything else and I do really mean it.. It has action, mystery and intrigue and is terrifying in parts, but has love as well. Also very moving and heart breaking at times eg the killing of David's mother. And you describe it so well...the smell and the flies and the food etc. A lot of interesting questions about David and religon are raised. I have just two minor points that I can offer you. In chapter19, in the dramatic scene when the "ox-pickers" are sent against the 2 giants, you write"summersault" (twice) but I spell it "somersault".. There may be two versions, but I draw your attention to it, just in case you've made a mistake. Also, in Chapter 21, in last but one paragraph (where David is saving the life of Naomi and king's daughter) you use the word "careened"...do you mean "careered", or is it a word I don't know?
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful but your writing is just too good! Ive already put you on my bookshelf and I'll keep you there a bit longer. Good luck with your ranking and attracting interest from editors etc.
Cherry G. "Sister: One Woman's Journey through the Trojan War"

Cherry G - thanks for the speeling help. My proff roading has always been awful. BTW, I've kept Nitsevet alive. Just. Alistair (:

Alistair, the first chapter is a smooth read. Since the opening line of most first chapters is heavily scrutinized, I would slightly reword it: David was dozing when the cat coughed. I hope this helps.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

I have read Goliath...except for the chapters you missed off the end, of course...
I realise my comments aren't that helpful if I just say this is brilliant and I loved it etc, but I can't think of anything else and I do really mean it.. It has action, mystery and intrigue and is terrifying in parts, but has love as well. Also very moving and heart breaking at times eg the killing of David's mother. And you describe it so well...the smell and the flies and the food etc. A lot of interesting questions about David and religon are raised. I have just two minor points that I can offer you. In chapter19, in the dramatic scene when the "ox-pickers" are sent against the 2 giants, you write"summersault" (twice) but I spell it "somersault".. There may be two versions, but I draw your attention to it, just in case you've made a mistake. Also, in Chapter 21, in last but one paragraph (where David is saving the life of Naomi and king's daughter) you use the word "careened"...do you mean "careered", or is it a word I don't know?
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful but your writing is just too good! Ive already put you on my bookshelf and I'll keep you there a bit longer. Good luck with your ranking and attracting interest from editors etc.
Cherry G. "Sister: One Woman's Journey through the Trojan War"

Folks have trouble with the dryness of the Bible, its lack of embellishments. The writing here leaps off the page, making David and his contemporaries very believable. You may have intended to leave "god" just that way on purpose, as was typical of the age, but I questioned that.just the same in the first chapter. I like the way you depicted Samuel, and the dialogue dispelling any question of his loyalty to his king in Chapter 2. My book is similar, though without being a thriller. Would love to hear any input you might have. Backed enthusiastically eariler.

Catherine (The Golden Thread)

I've enjoyed your GOLIATH very much. Exciting and thoughtful at same time. Interesting how the story involves the old biblical characters most of us know from childhood. As a child I liked the old testament stories because I used to feel I was there, standing by a well, in the desert etc and that feeling has come back to me reading this.I've put you on my bookshelf.
I am also in middle of reading the Padre's book about Mary, mother of Jesus. "Most Blessed of Women" (or something like that!) . If you haven't seen it yet, it is definitely worth looking up because like your book, it looks at the what is said in the bible in a fresh and original way...I think you could have a good debate about it !Apologies if you have read it!
Anyway, well done and good luck with this.
Cherry G. (in process of uploading my story "Sister: One woman's Journey through the Trojan War"...coming soon!)

I was attracted to your book by the cover and then hooked by the pitch. I've read the first few chapters and enjoyed the style. So I've placed it on my watchlist and will come back to read more of it later. Cherry G.

What a fantastic idea, to bring to life David and Goliath is a brilliant, and to turn it into a thriller... LOVE IT!! I think that this story will do really well. It better, anyway. Backed with pleasure!

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

Best read I've had today, thank you.

You have some wondrous phrases and the writing ripples across the screen effortlessly.

The dawn was shy and hesitant like a scolded maidservant. What a lovely line.

Great idea and something that I believe could be a publishers delight.

happily shelved

melxx

this needs be made into a film.

backed
KZ

A really good opening and a great start to the novel. I love the idea of David and Goliath as a thriller.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Wonderful re-working of a story we all thought we knew.
Jane Bain ('Life Script: Developing Your Personal Mythology')

An intriguing retelling of this story, beautifully expressed.
It's a privilege to read it.

I have to comment on the use of 'had' to indicate the past perfect tense. It is necessary to indicate an action which was completed in the past. It's use in all of the passages quoted by a previous reader is quite correct.
As is the use of the word 'that' in the passages similarly noted by the same reader. In the passages mentioned, the word 'that' may be used or omitted Either is correct. But the use of 'that' is less colloquial, and certainly more in keeping with the subject matter in this book, as the author obviously knows.

This is one of the most professionally written books I have seen on this site, and I couldn't leave these criticisms unchallenged.

Congratulations, Alistair. This is a book which deserves to be published.

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More...From The Beginning)

You open with an impressive sense of danger and foreboding. I was a little confused at first by the jump in POV between para's 2 & 3 but I carried on. Your choice of words is often robust, and to my liking. This is the kind of novel I would read. I only have a few constructive criticisms; as with most aspiring writers (me included) you can probably condense a few things down and shorten/ break up a few long sentences. For me, it took a little to long to get to any meaningful dialogue. But in the main this is a fine effort.

Well done,
Linton

That's such an eye-catching cover! The premise is excellent - taking a memorable biblical story and using it as the framework for a novel - and this is a fine novel. Your pitches work well and the reader has the great benefit of already 'knowing' many of the characters so we can judge their actions accordingly. The scene at the end of chapter five where David's mother persuades him to leave for his own safety, find himself and return a stronger and happier man and, as we know already, a man destined for great deeds, in particular, is very well described. You write well, the idea is good, this goes on my shelf.
Jared (Mummy's Boy).

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

As others have mentioned, I was drawn to the brilliant cover art. I'm a sucker for blue eyes! :)) You have a very powerful opening. I can easily see this in a bookstore.

Best wishes!
Debra

Allister
Rarely do you need 'had' before an -ed verb.......eg:-

She (had) persisted, repeating her ..........She persisted, repeating....

Those eyes (had) devoured her, and his immensely strong body had almost broken her as pain and pleasure washed through her

Slowly he crept towards the place where he thought he (had )heard the wild cat.

Also, I found a few 'thats' you could have done without.

She was a mother to three children and knew (that ) this child would surely kill her

eyes and strong nose( that )her mother had always told her were her best weapons to overcome the brutality of man.

I notice because I've done the same....I've changed off line.....

Fabulous otherwise.....Enjoyed the time I spent with you...

Shelved with enthusiasm

Hi Alastair, Liked the prologue and the hint about Goliath being born of one of the Nephalim. The intensity of your prose involved me with this speculative scene. So when David is portrayed, the same adherence to detail brought this traditional story into another panorama with the details about his brothers. That he is abandoned like his mother fits in with Jesse’s denial of him. Very involving and the other portrayals convince in the sense of David’s almost being cheated and of his ability to fight. It seems you have divined his character! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Turning the biblical Goliath story into a thriller seems like a great idea! It is also well done, in a pacy story with a strong narrative flow and vivid characters - I especially enjoyed the way you depicted Samuel in C3, but each character has his own clear voice. You also have a great way with descriptions - the sound of a name 'like the first bite of a roasted locust' in C1, or the vision of daybreak with 'Dawn was shy and hesitant like a scolded maidservant' in C2. I also enjoyed the clever hooks at the chapter ends that kept me turning pages. Overall this is very polished work I'll be happy to back with no nitpicks.

"Brilliantly composed writing skill that may have well been history at it finest, a book I must back!"

Pavin

The tempest screamed with demonic voices." Wow - what an incredible line. I'd almost move that to the start of the first paragraph instead of the end.

I really enjoy unique takes on old legends, and you've done a good job here. Obviously well researched.

There are a few lines that'd I'd like to see tightened up, and edited. Sometimes you overused the word and to run on a sentence when it's better to be stopped and started again. Eg, in the first paragraph of chapter 12. I thought this sentence could be better broken into two to read: "David was reluctant to push Morning Star too hard until he had negotiated the gorge. The precarious track would into the valley, with sheer cliff on one side and vertigo drop on the other."

Just a suggestion anyway.

Best of Luck with this.

Tim H
Hellbound

This is an interesting tale that starts with the mating between a god and a human. The introduction of David and his brothers gives us an idea of how tough life was for him.
When I read about Samuel the Seer and Beth Lechem, I started to grin and checked back to see if this was classed as a comedy. The narrative is amusing.

This is well written and I enjoyed reading it. I will back it with pleasure.

Kind regards

Tony
Life Bringer

Alistair,

I love the cover of "Goliath". That alone made me want to check the book out and I am glad I did. You have a great premise and nice writing style. Very entertaining and now backed.
If you get a chance, would you mind checking out my book, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? I always appreciate any comments/feedback I can get.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, Wild Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

Thats a powerful opening. It gives us bach ground information and sets a savage scene. Well done.

Thoroughly enjoyed and wish that the "religious scribes" could tell a story like you, Alistair.

Like the idea of taking history and adapting it to make a good story. I will get to this one in the next few days.

George Fripley
Wurzel of Clutton

Very well written
Backed
The God Equation

Well done with a familiar story, which everybody knows a little of, at least. There is nothing more to say, I love the way you have written this Alistair, great stuff. Backed.

Fromante. (Norman)The Witch of Hambone Bk.3. Also Muddledydo.

Wow... I have read the Bible several times, and you bring David to life effortlessly, while remaining loyal to the biblical account. You make him a real flesh and blood person, with all the human failings, hopes and longings of the psalms. I can see this having broad commercial appeal. May need to be cut to appeal to a YA audience (55k words).
Shelved
Frank

Terrific adventure story...Shelved.
This seems very vividly imagined and professionally presented.
Good luck with it............Mikell The Free

Alistair--

Elegant prose wrapped around a compelling tale. I love novels that explore a familiar story, with the author's imagination embellishing and twisting it into new directions. This is illuminating. It reads well-- and is rich with imagery and emotion, with a weightiness of literally Biblical proportions to really captivate. I enjoyed what I read and wish you sincere good luck. Onto my shelf.

Ruth/Base Spirits

Alistair, you've taken a story many people are familiar with (good start), and turned it into a commercial historical novel. Absolutely great. Backed. Lynn

A entertaining twist on a tale we all think we know. Well written solid prose and believable dialogue. This should do very well. Backed.

Sessha

Well, it was never like this in scripture lesson when I was at school, mores the pity!
Wonderfully told, exciting and imaginative and a thundering good read.

I wonder if you can rope Samson in? Form a sort of neolithic X-Men?

Hey Nick, bang on the money, Hollywood take note!
Alistair

I wonder if you can rope Samson in? Form a sort of neolithic X-Men?

Wonderful writing. Since I'm a student of the Bible, I can't say I agree with the premise but can't argue with your beautiful lyrical style. So have to "back:" it no matter what.

Betty K "Destiny's Weave"