Jamie Poole and the Isle of Osiris

Hi! I’m adding your book to my watch list to check out tomorrow (I’m off to bed now!).
I also write YA and would appreciate if you could check out my book LOVE IN THE FAMILY.
Cheers!

This quickly builds into an exciting adventure full of original touches to keep the reader hooked. You write well and quickly establish your MC as a likeable person with whom the reader can relate. Did not notice any obvious typos, was too busy reading! I wonder that this is not doing much better and gaining a wider audience.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

Hello Heidi, thank you for the headsup. I missed the workshop. I was in Billings seeing my daughter graduate! :) She was my inspiration for the Jamie character. I haven't cried so much in years. I'm so proud of her.

Hey, Ellen! There is a SWCBI workshop at the Bozeman library today starting at 9 am. Wasn't sure if you knew about it or not. I'm putting this in your comments so that you can get it in your email.

Heidi

Dear Ellen, I love you spirit of adventure & fantasy - it's great :) - what an ending - I like the "warm hand" of the ghost. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

JAMIE POOLE
This is a good story. I like the way you begin this in Jamie’s real world. Lets a reader get to know her before she leaves for the Druid world. If I had a suggestion, tho, it would be to introduce the sword in the beginning – maybe as a short prologue – to lock in your reader sooner (fantasy readers are young so don’t want to spend a lot of time with introductions). Either way, your writing style is engaging. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

This is why I came to Authonomy. As a children's writer I wanted to see how other children's/YA writers deal with their material. You do it so well. You have a fascinating story here, full of imagination and your prose is so accessible and direct, perfect for your target audience. Jamie is a terrific character and I couldn;t find anything to nitpick in the chapters I read. Very imaginative and entertaining. This is very good stuff and I am delighted to back it.
Carl
The Time hUnters

Hello! Thank you! I will be posting the first chapters of the sequel soon. Stay tuned!

[Hello Zan,
Thank you for your comments. Much appreciated. Yes, this is YA. Keep following. I will be posting the first chapters of Jamie's second book soon!

Ellen

JAMIE Poole: Great premise (and, of course, love the setting! :)). Jamie is a well-rounded MC and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Well done!

Heidi
Pearl Edda

Jamie Poole and the Isle of Osiris
Ellen E. Figura

I've been drawn to the mystery of ancient swords since the old days following the legend of Excalibur, the sword in the stone and King Arthur obtaining the throne by pulling the sword from the stone etc. etc., so your storyline immediately held interest for me. I love your inventive plot and I think this is a delightful. Jamie is a very likeable heroine - I didn't see a Children or YA tag and wondered whether this was overlooked? Either way, I enjoyed it so its appeal is beyond those tags anyway. Good luck with your trilogy - I can see how this first can be the basis for many others to come. Happy to have backed this and good luck in finding a publisher.
Zan

Lovely story that unfolds quietly yet effectively. The character jamie is really spunky and he is a fine kid. Like the bit about archaeology because it gives the book that awesome edge.

backed keenly

[I will do so. Thank you!

Ellen, your first chapter swept me into the next. This is a smooth, entertaining read. Nothing to nitpick in those two sections.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

Thank you for your feedback. And don't worry, the reason for "why" it is discovered twice is explored. :)

Ellen

Jamie Poole and the Isle of Osiris

Forget the grammar thing, you have a very plausible story here. You have a flair for language so I don’t think you would have any problem tightening this up – Good luck

Dear Ellen E Figura,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. The idea of unearthing a sword twice is interesting, and it begs a few important questions. First, why did they bury it after the first discovery? How did they rediscover it, and what’s the sword’s significance? I also like her conversation in the next chapter over the phone, trying to reach a distant father. She doesn’t know who she’s talking to, or where this person was located. I loved how, to her, New Jersey might’ve been on the moon. I was also wondering if she were talking to her dad’s mistress. The conversation is full of tension and draws me into the narrative.

I found myself less interested in the material between those two exciting elements. I don't want her physical description, not all of it at least. Also, I can take about a sentence or two of her aspirations before significant sympathy is built, such as with the phone call. Your goals should be to punish her, to build sympathy, and to sweep us into the sword narrative.

I’ll be happy to back this story once these first sections are tightened. Best wishes.

Great premise to your story and one that I found intriguing.

With a bit of an edit (we all need this) this will be a stunning read.

Happily shelved.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

BACKING you. I can use your comments on my book if you can spare the time. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Thank you for the backing.

Hi,

I'm backing your book to speed it along to its inevitable date with the Editor's Desk. Fantasy is not something I enjoy, nor something I should comment on, but your style is entertaining and readable, and you need reads from authors of other genre, just as we need reads from yours.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

You began with a few grammatical problems (tenses, punctuation,) but as I continued to read you, you picked up pace. Your writing improved as I progressed. There isn't enough here to discern any kind of plot obstacles. I think you just need to listen to a few of the grammar police on site (which is really a wonderful service) and tweak and clean up as you go.

Good for you
Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

Backed February 14.

Jesse - Savant

Jamie Poole and the Isle of Osiris is a gripping tale that promises plenty of adventure.C1 gripped me straight away - I enjoyed meeting Jamie and her first person narration made me feel close to her thoughts and feelings. You set the scene well, and inject some tantalising hooks about her father and the sword that make me want to find out more, so this is a good page-turner of a book. Then you took me through a flashback in C2 to a younger Jamie, and this didn't work so well for me. The story remains strong and interesting, particularly when you introduce the mysterious ghost in the kitchen who clearly is going to set Jamie on the right path for her journey. But you have switched from the first person closeness of C1 to a rather distant third person narration, and this makes Jamie so much less immediate to me. The 'had's in the opening push things even more distantly into the past, and in my view just deleting them would raise the pace without any loss of sense. I can't hel;p feeling this would all be tighter, pacier and more gripping if you continued the style of C1 through Jamies eyes - for example I felt little emotion or drama when the ghost appeared - if I was inside Jamie's head, my guess is that this scene would be bursting with emotions of all sorts. I hope this helps; overall this is an excellent story and an enjoyable read, and with polishing would really shine. I'll be very happy to back this.

Nice, Ellen. This is a great premise and your writing shows a lot of promise. The only thing I have for you, to improve the work, is that you should watch your tense. You start out in present tense, "I repeat under my breath", and drift, i.e. "I mumbled..." to the past tense.

But, I love the story and the way in which you tell it. I'll gladly back this for you. Dave

Ellen
Pitch
Pictures were all she (knew )of her dad (who had) disappeared when she was six months old.
vis a vis
Pictures were all she had of her dad who'd disappeared when she was six months old. (my view only)

C1
I became concious of seeing the word 'that' quite a bit...

I kept saying( that) as I cradled the ancient sword in my hands.
Yeah, there was some strange stuff (that )happened which
And here I am digging up a sword (that )my dad already found

Here's an example of getting rid of two more 'thats'

I didn’t realize what I was doing, but the summer of my twelfth year, it became apparent to everyone around
me. (That) was the year( that )changed my life.
via a vis
I didn’t realize what I was doing, but the summer of my twelfth year, it became apparent to everyone around me, was the year my life changed..

C2
Very rarely do you 'had' before and - ed verb.......

Yesterday( had) started like any other day........Yesterday started like any other day.
The whole family( had )assembled:.........The whole family assembled.
Another soft clink was the only testament that anything out of the ordinary had happened...........out of the ordinary happened......

I LOVE Jamie.....this is such an original storyline, I must admit when I read the pitch I was a bit.....'mmmm' but after two chapters I've slid into the story and felt happy to page turn...

Best of luck with this...

Shelved.

Really great fantasy writing. A good story, very well written and told in easy to understand terms. I love folowing archaeological digs and finds. You put everything into your story, and it gels together very well. Good Luck Ellen.
Backed,
Norman. The Witch of Hambone Bk.3. And also, Muddledydo.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

The pitch got me - the story is excellent and flows very well(easy on the eyey)

Backed

Kev

I very much like how you blend 'real life' with fantasy. It give a great element to this books and makes me as a reader believe in the reality of what you're writing.

A fantastic start and I'd like to read more.

On my watchlist so I can come back again.

Tim H
Hellbound

It's a very good beginning. I love when the girl are in the tent and see the Egyptian figure with the sword and Jamie knows something is wrong with it. I think so many of us grow up passively absorbing a lot of our parents' professions or obsessions. I have a female character like this as well. They are great. Backed.