Book Jacket

 

rank 5459
word count 97511
date submitted 01.02.2010
date updated 05.03.2010
genres: Historical Fiction, Crime
classification: universal
complete

VICTORIA'S DESPERATE MOTHERS

Raymond Leighton

It was a fate worse than death. AN UNMARRIED MOTHER IN VICTORIAN SOCIETY. To desperate young women a friendly nurse seemed the perfect solution.

 

1839 The slums of Bristol

It is an age of prosperity and optimism, but for many, life is little more than a never ending misery.
Thrift, hard work, religious and moral piety is established as true Victorian values.
In this society women are not supposed to have sexual impulses and young unmarried ladies are expected to remain in a state of simpering virginity.
Sex outside of marriage is a deadly sin and those who violate this rule are fallen women; their children born in sin and marked for life.
For Victoria’s Desperate Mothers the choices are Workhouse, Prostitution, or ADOPTION.
The Victorian ballad – singer described the ‘friendly nurse’ as a “bad woman” _ but that was an obvious understatement. She was utterly vile. No one really knows how many children she cruelly murdered for money.
Although nothing can be said in mitigation of her awful crimes, it must be remembered that she herself was a fearful product of the times. The society that pilloried the unmarried mother and did little or nothing for the unwanted child, also had blood on its hands.
Once, she was a child.
Then the world began to mould her.
Then she became a monster.

 
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tags

crime, desperate mothers, lunatic asylum, murder, victorian hypocrisy, workhouse

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GILLIAN.M.H wrote 275 days ago

I've read the first two chapters and will read more. Excellent style and no holds barred. Only one quibble : The class register would either have the boys or girls first, and names arranged alphabetically by surname.
The contrast between the 'luxury` of the lowliest servants quarters, and the slum dwelling, puts the servant's quarters into context - Some readers of Victorian novels might think of what we have today - or at best compare Amelia's attic room, with say the butler`s quarters. Another plus, in Amelia's life, is that she is plump - a luxury for a slum child or adolescent, which indicates that her father was prudent with money.
In chapter three, I would say Mr Hobley was not demonstrative, rather than 'touchy-feely` which is a 21st century phrase.
In chapter five "Primrose had carefully hidden the money in a draw" should read "drawer"..
Chapter seven "Bap boat" should be pap boat.

You have obviously done your research , and give another view on Victorian baby farmers. You show the desperation of the poor - both of the poor "fallen" women and their children, also that of the baby farmers own need to survive. A time when life was so grim for the poorest, that infanticide would seem a viable option , sending a child to a better place.

Chapter 11 Nation wide should be Nationwide Italics at the end, you have somehow inserted an apostrophe in Mrs, writing Mr's.
Chapter 12. I'm not sure if in that day and age, working-class people would talk about "bathrooms", as they barely existed. Even in rich households, there would be portable baths, that the gentry would have in their bedrooms.
Chapter 17 Their not worth it should be "They're not worth it."
The story takes an interesting twist when Amelia "fosters" Maria the governesses baby, and both parents, take an interest. I had some sympathy for Amelia at first, but have long since lost it.
chapter 21 I don't think 5ft 8ins would be considered an attractive height for a Victorian Woman. The average man might have been about that tall, and men would be unlikely to want a woman who was taller.
Chapter 29 Your babies with Jesus - the speaker is talking about one baby, that belongs to the mother,not two or more think of it as a contraction of "Your baby is with Jesus."

Neville wrote 297 days ago

Victoria’s Desperate Mothers.
By Raymond Leighton.


I found the first chapter riveting…excellent description here…nothing spared.
The old lady, Betty Carter woken in the night to help with the delivery of a baby only to find that it’s a breached birth. The scene of bedroom battle was very vivid, I kept hoping that things would turn out okay…it did!..I was pleased.
Your skill in drawing the reader into the story from the very start is brilliant.
I felt for the children on the other side of the curtain, going through it all…worrying about their mother.
Times were hard in the eighteen thirties, terrible.
We are transported to twelve years later when the baby, Amelia suffers Scarlet Fever which is widespread in the area, people dying from it.
She recovers only to lose her mother from Typhus Fever…certainly bad times and you describe it so well!
A brilliant book, very sad at times. Well done, Raymond!!
Star rated high.

Kind regards,

Neville. THE SECRETS OF THE FOREST – THE TIME ZONE.

zan wrote 724 days ago

VICTORIA'S DESPERATE MOTHERS
Raymond Leighton

Raymond,
I was happy to place this on my shelf a few days ago but only today had time to read your first chapter. Your historical elements here were most interesting - as I first felt on reading your pitches - unbelievable the stigma attached to and words denoting essential "relationships" then - bastardy, illegitimacy and so on, which happily, in many countries, have been statutorily removed. This was a nice first chapter. I thought your language here delicious - extremely pleasurable to read. "Filthy run down slums stretched out in all directions..."; "Samuel heard the most blood curling howl..."; "by the time he had walked grudgingly up the stairs..."; "with a glass of cheap gin in his hand Samuel proposed a toast..." I wish I could quote all the many parts of the writing I enjoyed - which really brought this piece to life. I would continue reading just for the language alone! Of course, the story and characters are crucial - but it's nice when there is good literature to back up the plot. Thrilled to have dipped into this and I hope to return and read a bit more when there's time to spare. Good luck with it.
Zan

A Knight wrote 740 days ago

This is a tense, well-written piece, constructed with a great deal of skill. Your characters are vivid and real, leaping to life from the page, and I was gripped from the beginning.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

latterday wrote 749 days ago

Victoria’s Desperate Mother’s

You have a very good descriptive narrative that has a well-balanced dialogue, however what I think really makes this book is the characterisation, which to me is brilliant. Your opening chapter had me tensed up reading it I was so involved. This is so well written, so well grounded in time and placed, it had to be backed!


thanks a lot, you give me fresh hope

latterday wrote 749 days ago

Not that I am a libertine, but having suffered being raised by a father with Victorian style morals, I am deeply sympathetic to your subject matter. Good on ya. It seems to be something the conservatives would wish to take us back to and I want none of it.



I take your point and agree with you. The old injustices may be replaced by modern ones. thanks for reading the book
Ray

latterday wrote 749 days ago

Have read eleven chapters. Fabulous but so very sad! I have 3 little girls, one a baby and can only imagine the shame of been an unmarried mother back then (I'm not married!!) This is a fantastic read so far, excellent x



Thanks for taking the time to read the book' i find it almost impossible to believe what i resourced. It really was a disgrace. I cannot find an agent and few publishers take work so i really appreciate your time.

Donna Marie wrote 750 days ago

Have read eleven chapters. Fabulous but so very sad! I have 3 little girls, one a baby and can only imagine the shame of been an unmarried mother back then (I'm not married!!) This is a fantastic read so far, excellent x

bonalibro wrote 754 days ago

Not that I am a libertine, but having suffered being raised by a father with Victorian style morals, I am deeply sympathetic to your subject matter. Good on ya. It seems to be something the conservatives would wish to take us back to and I want none of it.

johnjoch wrote 761 days ago

The birth was very well written, making sure that people understood how medicine was practiced in Victorian times. I am backing this book as I feel it is an insight into history, how the poor had to rely on untrained people to help in childbirth.
Take a look at mine, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story. I hope you enjoy it and will perhaps back it. JohnJ

eloraine wrote 763 days ago

I could feel and hear your characters, I wish you the best of luck. Backed. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

carlashmore wrote 772 days ago

Now this is thoroughly gripping writing. You have a wonderful eye for detail and really take the reader to a different time and place. This is thoroughly believable stuff yet tense and brutal. Your prose is both shocking and fluid and I genuinely hope to see this go far on the site and even more imprtantly, in teh real world.
Backed with pleasure
Carl
The Time hUnters

Famlavan wrote 774 days ago

Victoria’s Desperate Mother’s

You have a very good descriptive narrative that has a well-balanced dialogue, however what I think really makes this book is the characterisation, which to me is brilliant. Your opening chapter had me tensed up reading it I was so involved. This is so well written, so well grounded in time and placed, it had to be backed!

lionel25 wrote 775 days ago

Raymond, I read your first chapter. This is a smooth, enjoyable read. Good job overall. One thing you need to address is the use of commas in direct address. For instance: "Get the nurse (comma needed here) Samuel..."

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Burgio wrote 776 days ago

I thought this was going to be a gentle story of uptight Victorian ladies from the title. Instead it's a much more exciting read than that. I like your writing style. It makes your characters and scenes come alive. And let me in on a time in history I've never thought much about. This is a good story. I'm adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Barry Wenlock wrote 791 days ago

Hello Raymond, I read some of this quite a while ago, but failed to comment. I came back and read more recently.
A very enjoyable effort and a startling tale. Thank goodness things have changed. At least in your part of the world.
BACKED!
Best wishes, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

lizjrnm wrote 803 days ago

This is so intriguing I wil keep coming back to this - BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

Esrevinu wrote 804 days ago

There is some good writing here. You are a gifted descriptive writer, and it perfectly supports the themes and settings. I think you do a very good job giving each character distinct voices. The premise is strong; the pace is steady and characterizations compelling. It feels real and not forced. You should be very proud
I hope to see this published very soon

I wish you the very best

Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

R T Ray wrote 806 days ago

Hi Raymond,
Wow, what an opening! Wonderful cover.
I'm intrigued by the Victorian era, having read Anne Perry's novels and wasn't disappointed in your offering.
All the best,
Ray

hot lips wrote 807 days ago

What a fabulous first chapter, absolutely enthralling, full of wonderful detail that brought this dramatic domestic scene alive. Backed wit real enthusiasm
BADD

soutexmex wrote 808 days ago

Though it was a long intro chapter I did like the breezy pace. Appealed to me as well as the subject matter. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

soutexmex wrote 808 days ago

Though it was a long intro chapter I did like the breezy pace. Appealed to me as well as the subject matter. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

lynn clayton wrote 808 days ago

That cover and those tags are enough for this to sell like hot cakes in my opinion. But you write well too, with plenty of Victorian seediness which is very satisfying. Backed but hope to be able to buy it and read in comfort. Lynn

Joss64 wrote 808 days ago

Backed! Joss Morris (A Bore No More)

Jo Ellis wrote 809 days ago

I read chapter 21 as asked and I got a feel for the story even though I didn't read from the beginning. This skips through the information fairly swiftly Amelia deciding to move to a new place, her daughter Polly's courtship and engagement. Amelia seems to be the head of the family.

As it is out of context I don't know what this has to do with the story before but I found an interesting chapter here which flowed well and portrayed what you needed in a easy flowing manner.

Your have the right voice for the period and your narrative is descriptive.

This has piqued my interested and I would be interested to go back and then forward to see how you came to this point.

Jo xx

Spoilt

Helena wrote 810 days ago

Hi Raymond, my god what an opening. Your descriptions are excellent and I could almost feel the cold night as they two ran through the streets to the house. The birth scene is gruesome but extremely realistic, I have to commend you on it, you must know a thing or two about breach births. I love your descriptions of Sam as everything was going on, leave it to the nurse, very funny, typical men! This really was an engrossing read and now that Amelia has survived I wonder how her life twists from here. On my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

James Wayland wrote 810 days ago

You have picked an optimal starting point, and your attention to detail and your ability to generate tension are remarkable. I think the POV shifts a bit much, and while it is effective in this instance, some people are really bothered by "head-hopping" as they call it. Personally, while I feel that such shifts should be performed in moderation, when it is done well I find it immensely gratifying.
That aside, this is quite a grabber, and I think Victoria's Desperate Mothers has a lot of promise. Shelved.

-j

Francesco wrote 810 days ago

Thanks to some very perceptive criticisms on this site (thank you Authonomites!) I am, at present, in the process of a major rewrite and don't have time for individualized comments.
If you are reading this it means I have read the first couple of chapters of your book and think it is worthy of my support. My training is in the visual arts so I can't really help with the 'nuts & bolts' but if you would like to know what I really liked about your work, just send me a message and as soon as I can I will get back to you.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of my work) for a further read of your book.

Jared wrote 810 days ago

Raymond, I like the cover and title and your pitches are effective, but with a tendency towards the factual rather than the story behind the facts. I wonder if you could introduce a touch of personality into the long pitch as an aid to engaging a prospective reader. I must credit the depth of your research here - this book is a very well detailed and remarkably accurate reflection of the period.
It's a grim opening chapter and an excellent hook at the end, a very good start which grips the reader. This is a well written story in which the characters are a means of bringing to our attention the harsh divides of Victorian society. I'm delighted to back this.
Jared.
Mummy's Boy.

AlanMarling wrote 814 days ago

Dear Raymond Leighton,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I was attracted to your story by the “lunatic asylum” tag, and I see you’ve chosen a tension-filled aspect of history. I liked Betty’s gruffness, but her lack of credentials makes me worry for the baby and mother. The gin adds to the tension. You end the first section with an excellent hook, the probably death of mother and baby. I love the phrase “wringing with sweat”. The sexism of the husband adds sympathy to the wife. I like how you portray the children’s terror, and I never thought of how turning a baby would hurt so much. Good choice delaying the baby's first breath. I congratulate you on this tension-wracked scene, and you could end it on an astounding cliffhanger if you leave it in question as to whether the baby will survive the night. As a minor note, I didn’t feel “What’s up” suitable to the time period. I’m also not sure about “Dunno”.

I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Bradley Wind wrote 819 days ago

Raymond,
Really like the cover image you chose. Your pitches are both very strong.
Wondering why you're not submitting this to agents...maybe you are?
Feels like just yesterday but 9 months ago I was in a similar situation with the birth of my second daughter...so finding this opening particularly exciting/of interest...and HAPPY things are different today! heh. and you ole rascal, heheh, having me on edge about her living or dying!
What a splendid opening chapter...can only wish you the best of luck with this Raymond!
-=Bradley

happypetronella wrote 820 days ago

Very interesting story. Backed.

Jesse Hargreave wrote 820 days ago

Backed February 11.

Jesse - Savant

LittleDevil wrote 825 days ago

The first chapter was gripping. Willing the baby and mother to survive. I do love a good birthing scene. To be honest, I wasn't really looking for errors in the first chapter, I was too engrossed and wanted to find out what happened.
The second chapter seemed a little rushed and I think there are areas where a light edit would definitely make the writing stronger. Lots of repetition - deteriorate was used a few times I think.
Little bits that are telly rather than showy.
I Enjoyed this though and would happily read on.
Best wishes
Sue

Bob Steele wrote 830 days ago

Victoria's Desperate Mothers pinned me to my chair - I would have bet good money that nobody could do that with a birthing scene, but you made me feel as though I was in the room. Overall you evoke the harsh life and times of the Victorian era vividly and convincingly in a style and idiom that is right for the period. My only minor niggle is the need for an edit of the punctuation, but this is overall an enjoyable read that I'll be happy to back.

cbearly wrote 830 days ago

Raymond:

I absolutely love books of this genre, it is why I selected Victoria's Desperate Mothers. Great use of the name, by the way. Your research on Victorian England stands out and is very impressive. The plot is original, moving and your pacing excellent.

I would gladly have your boook on my self at home.

Backed with the best of luck.

Candace Bowen Early (A Knight of Silence)

latterday wrote 831 days ago

Thank you very much. i am new to this and appreciate the fact that people are taking the time to look at the work


Backed.

Jesse - Savant

Jesse Hargreave wrote 831 days ago

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

David Fearnhead wrote 832 days ago

I backed this for the originality. I enjoy historical fiction, but much of it on here seems wholly unbelievable and more of a rose tinted version of history. This feels more factual. You've not stumped for a well trodden path or popular time and your story is all the richer for it. Nice work.
David
Bailey of the Saints

gillyflower wrote 833 days ago

This is a book with an interesting setting and plot. To anyone like myself who enjoys historical fiction, you have a sure draw in your pitch. The period is brought to life well, with the sort of detail which makes the story real. You have clearly done lots of useful research, and it pays off. Amelia is a strong, interesting character, and we have enough of her background to understand her well. Primrose's unhappy story is moving, and Amelia comes across, in this, as a stronger character than Primrose, less willing to be walked over. The pitch promises exciting action as you move your story on. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

olga wrote 835 days ago

Hi

An interesting story. It needs an edit to make it shine. Great characterisations. I was hoping the baby would survive and when she did I cheered.
'The old ladies...' This is plural. It should be 'The old lady's...'
A return read and comment would be appreciated.
Cheers Olga

Clare Hill wrote 836 days ago

This is an interesting subject to tackle - I'm assuming Amelia goes on to become Amelia Dyer?If so, I did think that you could put this in your synopsis, as I read 5 chapters which were okay but not a lot happens, and you might lose the reader's interest - you could consider condensing the back story a little. You also need to look at your punctuation, particularly in relation to speech.

lynn clayton wrote 836 days ago

Raymond, before I forget, let me point out a misprint half way through ch1: '...she wasn't a trained midwife just..' there's an 's' before 'just' which shouldn't be there. Apart from that, what a wonderful historical novel. I hope you don't mind if I say it reminded me in its grittiness of Catherine Cookson. And since her death there's a space in the market which you could easily fill.Very best, backed, Lynn

Freeman wrote 836 days ago

I noticed a couple of things.

What’s wrong dad – using dad in this way it is his name - Dad
She said curtly – still part of the sentence of speech – she said curtly.

This is well written and I having been brought up in a Victorian atmosphere, I can relate to this story. I will back it with pleasure.

Tony
Life Bringer

Melcom wrote 836 days ago

Lovely writing, a bit adverby in parts but easy to read.

After reading your first chapter I can feel justified about never considering childbirth.


Great work

Melxx
UNICORN
(crime/thriller)

johnjoch wrote 836 days ago

The start to a lovely story. The feeling of being there in that Victorian hovel whilst the baby was coming, was a great piece of writing. I am backing this book and hope it makes it to the top. Take a look at mine, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story and I hope you will enjoy it and back it. John J

Lj Trafford wrote 836 days ago

I am enjoying this but you do frustrate me by throwing in lines such as 'several uneventful months passed'. I wanted much more information on Amelia's life as a servant. I didn't really get much of a sense of what her day was like, what her job involved and her friendship with Primrose. And I wanted all those details to fully get into her character.
I really think you need to cut the second chapter where Sarah dies because it is not needed and it has the odd turn of phrase in such as 'suddenly she complained of a headache.' I'm not sure people suddenly complain - she might suddenly fall off the chair.
These are just my thoughts as a reader so feel free to ignore. I am backing this because I do want to read more.

Sheila Belshaw wrote 837 days ago

VICTORIA'S DESPERATE MOTHERS:

Raymond,

I thought I had read evrything on Authonomy that could shock me, that could make me cry, that could make me realise that I haven't even touched the tip of what dreadful atrocities have afflicted our world throughtout the ages.

And then I found, by sheer chance - Victoria's Desperate Mothers.

It is absolutely riveting. Beautifully written. And now that I think about it, when I was a teenager I think there were still the tlast vestiges of the old victorian outrageous principles alive.

This is real writing.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Len Jones wrote 838 days ago

Phew! The first chapter reminded me of what my wife went through with our first! I haven't got time to read the rest at them moment, but this chapter held me attention very well and was dramtically written. I like the way you flit back and forth to the children and the Dad as it emphasises the tension. Good Luck with it.

Len Jones
Tha Mabus Awakes

Ben Zaaiman wrote 838 days ago

Nice one! I love the way you take a conventional suspenseful plot point (i.e. a birth) and turn it into something that really sets the scene and fleshes out some key characters! I'll back it!

Ben Zaaiman - Person Under Control

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