The Reign Of Billie Blackwater

Something, something, something, blah, blah, blah......WOW. You are my most favorite on here..well, there are exceptions like when I'm on here but then I'm in a hate authonomy mood which is not being helped by my dogs barking at the lawn maintenance guys running from the Immigration Officers across my back yard at the moment. Strange how these things always happen to me. I promise I will come back and read more but at the moment I am distracted do to gun fire.

I'll back your book because you "back that ass up".

I really want to read more!! Could you load or send me more?

Wow! I just read the next few chapters you wrote... all I can say is WOW! This book has me wrapped around its finger! You are an incredible writer! Can't wait to read more!

I certainly enjoy the narrative style which has a clear and confident flow. My own two cents, take it or leave it: the story may benefit from a little more context (When/Where is this taking place?) unless the aim is too maintain a sort of insulated state. Also you may wish to have someone correct minor terminology slips like ropes (rigging) and bar (Tavern, or inn) that are more suited to the story's sea/pirate setting. These are cosmetic things - the story itslf is very captivating and thats what counts!

nice story. I don't have any bad thing to sa.
Samantha

Backed The Reign Of Billie Blackwater. Love books with strong women full of courage. Great idea using the pirate theme. Very popular now with the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series and Johnny Depp. The Reign Of Billie Blackwater is at the top of the heap! Good luck with the last stage...editor's desk.
CC Brown

The Reign of Billie Blackwater

Hi Tee

Voice pitch perfect girl, well done, we're straight into her head and her ways and her adulation for dad. There is a lovely winsomeness to the beginning of this narrative, I can almost smell the salt in his beard. You so clearly enjoy the writing and the character, we care for them before we get snagged by the story, which makes things flow so easily. I enjoyed the section I read and hope you stay right where you are until the end of the month, I will do my best to support you. Best wishes and good luck - Andrew W.

Been reading a few chapters now and this is very cool!

I like how meticulously thought out the characters are, they all have a history and a unique persona. Such good character development is rare and you are a gifted writer!! You made me care for the characters ... This is definitely publishing worthy material!

Rated and backed!

T.L when you get the chance i'd appreciate a read and comment on my work, if you can!

Cheers!

Ram

The Reign of Billy Blackwater
Wow, you do have a way of setting both scene and mood, don't you? I could so easily picture the scene with Willimeana and her father, feel the coziness of the room, feel her adoration for her father, and his love for his little girl. Beautifully portrayed!
Some stuff I noticed:
'People do not double-cross William Blackwater for good reason.' You need a comma after Blackwater, or else people will double cross him for bad reason.
'...marvel over...' '...marvel at...'
'His skin is as rough as like as sandpaper and...' You have both like and as here. Also, I'd either replace the 'and' with a comma or put 'palms ARE callused.' (that and callous means uncaring, callus is thick skin).
'seven seas' should be capitalized.
'Bloody sprayed the deck, men clashes and screams of pain filled the air.' Maybe 'Blood sprayed the deck as men clashed, screams of pain filling the air.'
'He shook and stuttered barely...' comma after stuttered.
'Don't let your father steal away your sleep, get to bed this moment.' Comma splice...either a period or semi colon instead.
Maybe put the last sentence in its own paragraph, to make a statement.

Chapter 2
In this chapter you describe the funeral of William Blackwater and the aftermath at the pub. Again, rich scene setting and descriptions. I'm really liking this!
They have little discipline, unlike me who could stand...' Maybe 'They have little discipline, unlike me. I could stand...'
'It amazes me that my heart can still beat when it is in pieces.' It amazes me how well you convey Willimeana's emotions!
I guess I'm not sure how only pirates can know the words if they sing the sea-shanty where others can hear.
'Their boot heels click on the cobblestone roadways, the sound is...' Comma splice. Either a period or semicolon here. I did find a few more, too, so it might want to be something you watch for when you edit.
Ooh, I think I have a crush on Thomas Crow myself ;) Excellent description.
I had to stop here, but this is definitely something I'll be back to read more of. This is a very strong piece of writing, emotionally gripping and with a premise that just pulled me right in. While I did note some structural issues, this in no way stopped me from enjoying the book. Excellent work!
Emily

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Tyson I have read up to chapter 9 and think this is a great book. I can really relate to Billie and her desire to be as good as her late father's men. I am not total sure bout first person narrative but I think it has to be this way it would not read right from another POV.

I love your cover as it is evocative. I don't really know what I can that 200 plus comments have not already said.

Onne thing though. I think you ought to put a warning in Long pitch about the rape scene because there may be some readers who have gone through similar experiences who might not find it easy reading and I feel it is only fair they are warned.

I will definitely read more as I am keen to find out what hapepns to Billie and how she exacts her revenge.

Hope you get your contract along with your ED medal which I am led to believe will be your second. HarperCollins strike me as a teeny bit dumb not to have snapped this up first time around. Maybe Billie ain't been to their office to threaten them yet?

I love this book, having completed it recently. It is not just a story about pirates. It is a love story between Willimeana and her dad Billie. It brought back memories of me with my own father. The first chapter grabs me because it is a description of how she felt about her dad. I not only believe this book will be published, but it will resonate with readers.

Great writer! Great sense of character, great voice, I'm right there with Billie from the beginning. God, I just love great writing. It hooks you in, it flows, it's a pleasure to be in the hands of detailed and masterful craftsmanship. Well done and this would be one I'd not only read, but want to own. Love historical and nautical fiction. ~ Meg

What can I say that hasn't been said in 218 comments?
Well, here are my thoughts.

Title - I like the alliteration of Billie Blackwater in the title.
Short pitch - It doesn't grab me.
Long pitch - It intrigued me enough to want to take a peak.

I was intrigued by the tale of Thomas Crow in chapter 1. Moreover, I was utterly capitivated by this story of pirates. I wasn't sure I'd be that drawn to reading about pirates, but wow! I have things to do and I can't stop reading...

Okay, the first 3 chapters - Your writing has a smooth narrative flow. You've demonstrated your great strengths which I feel are character development and setting. The way you write about this world of pirates and treasure makes me feel like I right there, like I'm watching a movie in my mind. You found the right balance between narrative and dialogue which makes for a thrlling read.

Best of luck on your journey to the Ed's desk!
Without hesitation - 6 stars.

Smiles - Linda

Well done! I liked how you captured the admiration of Willimeana and her father. From the first three chapters, you carefully and artfully unfold the scene and I am not feeling like I have to see it this way, more like, ooohhh, is that the way it is? Neat.

Great job! Already rated it!
Alice

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

This is very hard to put down. It is simply a great story told in an excellent fashion. Very visual without exagerated descriptions or florid phrasing. Excellent work, exactly what a book should be.

Who doesn't like a good pirate story?

What I didn't like:
I felt that some parts went by very quickly, and did not manage to leave quite the impression they were meant to. For example, the two years Billie spent with Red Eye. Also, for some reason it was hard to take things seriously. Billie went through a lot of bad things, but I never felt sorry for her or really felt her pain, and I would have been more emotionally invested in the book if I had felt something. I think it may have to do with the style of your writing.

What I did like:
Great story. I like the idea of a female pirate who proves to be every bit as good at it as the men, and sometimes better. Billie is a great character, and I especially liked the relationship she had with her father. It made her dream of becoming a pirate make sense. I also liked her feelings for Thomas Crow, which I'm sure will become more important later. He's also an interesting character. You seem to have a lot of those, which is great. I certainly enjoyed the read, and would like to read more. I want to know what happens!

Cora

This is just so very well done, a delightful read. What more could I say, except, Damn! You're good!

I wasn't thrilled with the present tense, but that won't bother you.

It needs to be proofed, but your editor can pretty much take a vacation.

Want more? Well, yes! 'Cause so far, it's a damn good tale.

Very best wishes with this one,

GRHWagner
Of Unicorns And Pegasuses

Hello,

I wanted to let you know that I came back for my third read of your story. I usually take on a chapter at at time, so I'm on chapter 3 now. I love how well you know your MC and can bring them to life for the reader. It really is a gift for story telling and you have it. I'm a fan of your writing and could read this whole thing in one sitting if I didn't pace myself. I feel like I'm actually holding a book in front of me and not looking at a computer screen. I can feel the raw emotion pumping through your MC as she is curled with her Mom, grieving over her father. Thanks for sharing this story, when it's published I'll be recommending others to buy it! Good luck with the ED! Six stars!

Best,

Ashley
'Maddy Hatfield and the Magic Locket'

hi TL. I am pretty new but I saw that your story was backed by another author and since I liked his book so much I thought I'd check out his shelf. This is really good and interesting. I can see why it is doing so well. Backed!

Backing this for sure!
61BBboy

Hey Tyson, thought you might like a close edit of chapter one before it hits the desk.
I think the anecdote is brilliant, dialogue good, pov great and the childlike voice of Willemina is coming across well. I really like her character and sympathise with her. Good work.
Some things to think about in terms of character sympathy. At the beginning of the Cumana story you say that the pirates wanted 'women and drink', and then in the same paragraph the pirates want to go home to their wives and kids. Now I'm confused. Are they nice pirates, or not?
Secondly, the ship is named after Willemina when she was born. The ship is ten years old, because that is how long Thomas has lived on it. So how can Willemina be 7 years old? Continuity check needed.
Thirdly, as a female reader, I almost ditched you from my list because I'm reluctant to read anything that has mention of 'raping' in the pitch. It is a shame as it does not seem to be the main event in your story, and I wonder if you would be better using something else to tempt readers to view your book. Women buy a lot of books, so you could be alienating some of them?
Just my thoughts T, take em or leave em.
x Eliza

Thanks for this.
I'm afraid I can't think of anything useful to say that hasn't already been said (I mean 203 comments!) - save that somewhere in chpt eight (I can't find it now) you've written 'thought', instead of 'though'.
Present tense is hard to pull off well, so well done with that. ;)

Lindsay
A priest's tale.

Tee,
If I may be so bold, let me first say that out of jealousy I never beck people who are already on the Editor's Desk, because most often, all their friends on Facebook, and their mothers included, have already backed the author, regardless if the quality of the writing or storyline is good or not. Obviously the HC Editors are ruthless sons of bitches and love nothing more but tear Desk winners from limb to limb each month. Only a few so far have made them raise their eyebrows and say the word, "Fascinating" (a-la Mr. Spock), because they liked it. So far they have only offered 4 or 5 acquisition contracts to 4 or 5 people, regardless if they really deserved it or not.
You may have a chance here.
Page one, and chapter one, is brilliantly written. Otehrs have said so, so do I. Respect onthat first scene. The other chapters are good as well.
If I was an HC editor looking at Billy Blackwater (which is a cool name) I might play the proverbial asshole and say something like this, "I feel confused with how you jam in too many deatails in chapters two and three, dragging down my interests. I also felt confused when you jump the chronological order. First captain Blackwater is weaving a fine tale to little Wilhelmena, then suddenly a teenaged Wilhemina is observing her father's funeral, then it jumps back later into the past with other events, and so on, etc."
What else would my alter ego say as a HC editor...oh yes.
"When Wilhelmena is disguised as West, I liked the tests which she passed, but I missed how she acted in the first pirate raid - you only mention it in passing. This is suppose to be a pirate story. I was looking forward to men swinging on ropes unto a victim's ship, cannons roaring, blades slicing, treasure chests pouting its gold out, etc. Where was it?
The rape scene was very well done. Respect.
Her recovery by Redface was well done too. I like how she spent two years under his care, but the scene, I thought, went too fast. I wanted to see her, Redface and the island natives work on the old ship patching her up, I wanted Billie and Redface practice swordfighting on the beach - since he was a master pirate in his heyday, I would have expected him to teach her some tricks, (which she would employ later in her mission of vengence). I want to see and hear metal on metal, lunges, swings, strikes, parrys, etc. That was the best time to put it in and it was missing! I wanted to see more of a mentor relationship between Billie and Redface, since he was the one who not only saved her life, but gave her dignity after the rape, and gave her a purpose to live again."
It's me, Kirk again - I took off my HC editor hat. I hope I got that all down in my first reading. Yes I read every chapter and I demand that you put up more chapters. Don't do this "incomplete" shit, Tee. I want to see more. Tease me, please. You're good at that in the forums :-)
Ok, you getting your dreamshot and I never expected a woman to write such a super-awesome cool pirate story. Repect on your writing and plot. That also includes your cool YouTube videos. I really hope you do well in the HC review, because these bastards are ruthless dogs. If they offer you a contract on the first review, then you must have slept with one of them....
Good luck
Kirk
PS: I usually don't write such detailed comments here, but this was good stuff and I want to see it even better.
Now can I be your personal football coach :-)

Fantastic first chapter. Your language is excellent. I really enjoyed the read and look forward to reading more.
My historical novel is quite different, initially set in Bedford but quickly moving to the brash new settlement of Melbourne. My heroine, despite bearing an illegitimate child and murdering her sister's husband is determined to succeed in a man's world. Called 'Lift Up Your Voice', I would love you to give it a go.
Regards Dell Brand.

What a gem!
I only read this by chance- i just saw the title and was intrigued so i read the pitch. From then on i was completely hooked!
Although others have said the story should focus more on Billie's quest for revenge rather than building up to it in the way you have, i have to say i disagree completely. It's crucial that we see why and how Billie has changed and without this your book would lack believability and it wouldn't be half the book it is. I just loved the opening chapters and the way you have characterised Billie's innocence. Your illustration of her relationship with her father is just beautiful and it's easy to see how it affects the way she thinks and acts.
Your descriptions of Billie's physical appearance as well as the other characters were amazing (i was particularly captivated the whole way through by Billie's 'ice-cold blue eyes')
The pacing is just right and our emotional understanding of Billie could not be better (it actually brought tears to my eyes when she was remembering how her father died)- there's nothing better than reading a book that makes you experience the characters' emotions so vividly.
I think you got the rape scene right-not too graphic and it was easy to believe Billie's emotional traumour (i can't imagine how difficult that must have been to write!). You dealt with it with the utmost sensitivity.
The transition from Willhamina to Billie was a little difficult to get used to at first, however, by the end of chapter 14, i just had to believe that she was now Billie and that was it.
There were a few small typing errors/missing words (though this is minor and easy to fix)-no matter how many times you edit, there are always going to be a few things that slip through.
My only other issue was that i just wanted to read more and there were only 14 chapters uploaded! (although, this is probably a good thing for you as the writer as it means that your book is doing what it is supposed to- keeping the reader hooked and on the edge of their seat!)
I can't comment on this book positively enough!
I just have to know what happens next!
6 *s and backed!
Best of luck with this- you deserve every success with this outstanding novel. (let me know when it's published!)
Amy :)

The interview about Billie Blackwater brought out some lines from you that were very important and had quite an impact such as;

All I want is my father. I cry for him, wishing he were by my side, wishing he were in the world keeping me safe. This whole time, I was wrong. I do need to be protected--by my father, my mother, by Crow, by God, and yet, none of them are on deck with me. None of them can prevent what is about to happen .
These are the moments of high intellect I was referring to, when we are so engrossed with the story and reveal our innermost psyche without limitations.


Q: The Bitch.
I know...would you like to start.
This is your book right and your are number one.
A:Tyson.
That is my book.
And, yes, I am currently numero uno.
Q: The Bitch.
When did you write the first draft of your book?
A: Tyson.
I wrote it for NanoWriMo 2009.
Q: The Bitch.
What was your motivation for writing the book?
What is behind the story.
A: Tyson.
I really liked pirates.
To be honest, I wrote the book for myself for fun.
That's the only reason.
Seeking Eleanor was rising in the ranks at that time. And NoelleP wanted a buddy for Nano.
I agreed.
And wrote a story about a female pirate.

Q: The Bitch.
It´s sure is a novel idea.
Would you say it is a modern version of a parable?
Q: A question from SPW.
Sure. Hey T, I'd like to know how you came up with the name Billie Blackwater.
A: Tyson.
I suppose it can be considered.
It teaches a few lessons...
Perhaps some of the negative effects of eye-for-an-eye
Also, revenge doesn't necessarily leave you full filled.
And, most importantly, a life without love isn't a life at all.
Each of those lessons are woven throughout.
I wanted something iconic for the last name, though people have said it is a cliche, and I wanted something menacing.
Blackwater just came to me.
I named Willimeana after her father William...and so, the short version would be Billie.
Billie Blackwater.
Just flows.
Q: The Bitch.
Your book is about a female pirate and revenge, hence the knife.
Why does your cover not reflect a ship with grand sails?
Q: Paul Freeman.
Can I ask a question?
Was it tough for you personally, emotionally. It's an emotional story, a girl who loses her father and is then raped by men who had been part of his crew. That's a lot to endure, not just the physical aspect, but been thrown overboard from her father's ship. She idolized the man as a father and pirate and then his world rejects her.
A: Tyson
There are certain aspects of the story that hit me.
I am, and always will be, my father's favorite. Having a close relationship with my father is what I drew from to craft the opening chapter, which is why, no matter how many times someone tells me to cut it, I never will.
The rape scene was hard. I actually got a little teary eye writing it, when she says speaks this line:
All I want is my father. I cry for him, wishing he were by my side, wishing he were in the world keeping me safe. This whole time, I was wrong. I do need to be protected--by my father, my mother, by Crow, by God, and yet, none of them are on deck with me. None of them can prevent what is about to happen
That line gets me every time I read it.
And this part:
My father was right. A ship is no place for a woman. I am not a pirate. I am a girl. I am not tough or unbreakable. I am feeble and pathetic. And I have disgraced, not only myself, but my father and his memory.
She was so young and naive. All her life she dreamed of being a pirate and in those moments she realizes how silly she'd been.
Breaks my heart.
But, it is the catalyst of the story. Without it, we wouldn't have Billie.
Q: The Bitch.
Your book is about a female pirate and revenge, hence the knife.
Why does your cover not reflect a ship with grand sails?
A: Tyson.
The old cover was just a pirate ship.
This one is much better and drives home the revenge side of my novel (even though the book is about so much more than revenge)
There is a ship on this one, though. In the knife reflection there is one.
Q: The Bitch.
As they say...everything is better on the big screen.
In what time period is your book set?
A: Tyson
Late 17th century or early 18th century.
I read a lot up on the time periods and clothing and this is when it fit in, especially with the weapons.
I didn't pick a specific year because it didn't matter as I didn't incorporate any events from history in.
Q: The Bitch.
I thinks it´s great...so leave it in.
There are moments of high intellect in every writers style, when they sit back and ask, did I write that?
That is one of your moments, keep it, it belongs to your moment.
A: Tyson.
I've had a lot of people tell me it is too slow, that they want the revenge, but Billie is about so much more than revenge.
Instead of starting the book having her as a pirate out for revenge, I opted to start it with a little girl, a dreamer.
I wanted to show her become the pirate and let the reader see how she went from a young, dumb sixteen year old with stars in her eyes to a savage female pirate who wouldn't bend under anyone.
Q: The Bitch.
Publishers like to know that you have done your homework?
Format is another important aspect. Are you happy with your format, the layout of your text.
Do you think it would be made into a movie someday? 
A: Tyson
I think it would make a most excellent movie.
But, I doubt Billie will ever be published.
It just doesn't seem like something a publisher would pick up.
Even though I am confident readers would love it.
Q: The Bitch.
You have to keep knocking...someone will open the door.
SPW.
I agree!
Q: The Bitch.
Do you think your book is polished for publishing.
A: Tyson.
I've gone through and edited it once.
One time.
So, no.
If I were going to self pub, I would pay for a line edit.
Because I am not an editor.
I am a writer.
And a typo fool at that.
Q:The Bitch.
Good idea. This site could do with a couple of soon to be editor´s.

Good luck with your book;

http://www.authonomy.com/books/16647/the-reign-of-billie-blackwater/
A: Tyson.
Thank you!
Is it SPW's turn now?

The interview about Billie Blackwater brought out some lines from you that were very important and had quite an impact such as;

All I want is my father. I cry for him, wishing he were by my side, wishing he were in the world keeping me safe. This whole time, I was wrong. I do need to be protected--by my father, my mother, by Crow, by God, and yet, none of them are on deck with me. None of them can prevent what is about to happen .
These are the moments of high intellect I was referring to, when we are so engrossed with the story and reveal our innermost psyche without limitations.


Q: The Bitch.
I know...would you like to start.
This is your book right and your are number one.
A:Tyson.
That is my book.
And, yes, I am currently numero uno.
Q: The Bitch.
When did you write the first draft of your book?
A: Tyson.
I wrote it for NanoWriMo 2009.
Q: The Bitch.
What was your motivation for writing the book?
What is behind the story.
A: Tyson.
I really liked pirates.
To be honest, I wrote the book for myself for fun.
That's the only reason.
Seeking Eleanor was rising in the ranks at that time. And NoelleP wanted a buddy for Nano.
I agreed.
And wrote a story about a female pirate.

Q: The Bitch.
It´s sure is a novel idea.
Would you say it is a modern version of a parable?
Q: A question from SPW.
Sure. Hey T, I'd like to know how you came up with the name Billie Blackwater.
A: Tyson.
I suppose it can be considered.
It teaches a few lessons...
Perhaps some of the negative effects of eye-for-an-eye
Also, revenge doesn't necessarily leave you full filled.
And, most importantly, a life without love isn't a life at all.
Each of those lessons are woven throughout.
I wanted something iconic for the last name, though people have said it is a cliche, and I wanted something menacing.
Blackwater just came to me.
I named Willimeana after her father William...and so, the short version would be Billie.
Billie Blackwater.
Just flows.
Q: The Bitch.
Your book is about a female pirate and revenge, hence the knife.
Why does your cover not reflect a ship with grand sails?
Q: Paul Freeman.
Can I ask a question?
Was it tough for you personally, emotionally. It's an emotional story, a girl who loses her father and is then raped by men who had been part of his crew. That's a lot to endure, not just the physical aspect, but been thrown overboard from her father's ship. She idolized the man as a father and pirate and then his world rejects her.
A: Tyson
There are certain aspects of the story that hit me.
I am, and always will be, my father's favorite. Having a close relationship with my father is what I drew from to craft the opening chapter, which is why, no matter how many times someone tells me to cut it, I never will.
The rape scene was hard. I actually got a little teary eye writing it, when she says speaks this line:
All I want is my father. I cry for him, wishing he were by my side, wishing he were in the world keeping me safe. This whole time, I was wrong. I do need to be protected--by my father, my mother, by Crow, by God, and yet, none of them are on deck with me. None of them can prevent what is about to happen
That line gets me every time I read it.
And this part:
My father was right. A ship is no place for a woman. I am not a pirate. I am a girl. I am not tough or unbreakable. I am feeble and pathetic. And I have disgraced, not only myself, but my father and his memory.
She was so young and naive. All her life she dreamed of being a pirate and in those moments she realizes how silly she'd been.
Breaks my heart.
But, it is the catalyst of the story. Without it, we wouldn't have Billie.
Q: The Bitch.
Your book is about a female pirate and revenge, hence the knife.
Why does your cover not reflect a ship with grand sails?
A: Tyson.
The old cover was just a pirate ship.
This one is much better and drives home the revenge side of my novel (even though the book is about so much more than revenge)
There is a ship on this one, though. In the knife reflection there is one.
Q: The Bitch.
As they say...everything is better on the big screen.
In what time period is your book set?
A: Tyson
Late 17th century or early 18th century.
I read a lot up on the time periods and clothing and this is when it fit in, especially with the weapons.
I didn't pick a specific year because it didn't matter as I didn't incorporate any events from history in.
Q: The Bitch.
I thinks it´s great...so leave it in.
There are moments of high intellect in every writers style, when they sit back and ask, did I write that?
That is one of your moments, keep it, it belongs to your moment.
A: Tyson.
I've had a lot of people tell me it is too slow, that they want the revenge, but Billie is about so much more than revenge.
Instead of starting the book having her as a pirate out for revenge, I opted to start it with a little girl, a dreamer.
I wanted to show her become the pirate and let the reader see how she went from a young, dumb sixteen year old with stars in her eyes to a savage female pirate who wouldn't bend under anyone.
Q: The Bitch.
Publishers like to know that you have done your homework?
Format is another important aspect. Are you happy with your format, the layout of your text.
Do you think it would be made into a movie someday? 
A: Tyson
I think it would make a most excellent movie.
But, I doubt Billie will ever be published.
It just doesn't seem like something a publisher would pick up.
Even though I am confident readers would love it.
Q: The Bitch.
You have to keep knocking...someone will open the door.
SPW.
I agree!
Q: The Bitch.
Do you think your book is polished for publishing.
A: Tyson.
I've gone through and edited it once.
One time.
So, no.
If I were going to self pub, I would pay for a line edit.
Because I am not an editor.
I am a writer.
And a typo fool at that.
Q:The Bitch.
Good idea. This site could do with a couple of soon to be editor´s.

Good luck with your book;

http://www.authonomy.com/books/16647/the-reign-of-billie-blackwater/
A: Tyson.
Thank you!
Is it SPW's turn now?

Title is workmanlike and memorable; cover is appropriate for the content. Short pitch comes across as weak because it's too generic. The long pitch is much better.

Writing style is very readable with strong use of dialogue and good scene-setting. I would quibble with your first sentence, as "On his lap, I perch." is pure Yoda-speak. Not sure why you didn't start with "I perch on his lap" where the word order would be effectively invisible allowing the reader to see the scene without thinking, 'Why did she write it like that?' Thereafter, the writing appears seamless to me. I knew where I was immediately and understood the relationship depicted. I like the way you get the sense of smell in right at the start.

I have only read the first chapter so far, but am definitely tempted to come back and read more.

Okay, let me see. . . . What stuck out to me? The first: was her swaying with her papa thinking that she was out at sea. Second: That her papa was someone no one wanted to mess with. Third: was what finally grabbed me. “Tell me a story”. Sure it’s a simple line and a simple question but it says so much about her and her papa. Her papa meant a lot to her. She loved him. She loved his story. He has told her many. She thinks he has been on many adventures. The other way around, her papa loves her to death. Whenever he comes back, he is with her. And he is a good story teller. I thought all this from that one line. Of course she’s heard stories because then she asks her papa about when he overtook the Vagrant Vessel and what he did when Cap. Crossbones kidnapped some Crow guy. :)

I love how her papa speaks like a bloody scoundrel.

When girl Willi says ‘according to Father, his ship is mine’ and read on I started to think your writing sounds like a goodnight fairy tale that parents read to their kids before going to bed. It’s sounds and reads like a bedtime story. This hit me all in this rectangular paragraph.

wow, you have a poetic flow to your writing and the very next rectangle showed it. “He runs his fingers up my arm . . . was the sound?” I read sooooo smoothly and felt as though it was a rhyme. What’s funny is that after that I starting reading it like it was a poem. I think this may be only because I am half asleep and on my way to a nice slumber.

What thing that caught my eye is that the story kind of goes a little too long. It was really good and still good but it just popped in my head so you know.

As I finished I was left with the love of a daughter for her papa and the subtle words of your storytelling. 6 stars and a good luck to you at the editor’s desk. I won’t back you because I don’t think you need it and I just changed my entire shelf so I want to give them more than a couple of days.

Nightdream

Hmm, first chapter is charming and I love historical novels. Smooth narrative, good descriptive passages. If the first chapter of any novel pulls me in when I'm book buying, I buy it. Your's has pulled me in. I like that. I see why it went to the editor's desk. I think above all the premise is extremely clever. A pirate's daughter becoming a pirate.

How original.

Hello Ms. Tyson,
I trust all is well with you. I've been thinking, maybe you'd like to take a look at my self-published novel. It's entitled Blood Born: The First Book of Lost Souls.

Now yes, the vampire literary genre is bloated and these stories are proliferating.

But consider this: if vampires really existed they might be a sub-culture that lives right in our midst. Maybe they've been manipulating our society and our governments to suit their own agenda. Perhaps they would spread lies about themselves such as they're not affected by the sign of the cross. Quite possibly they would be behind the books and movies about vampires as a precursor to pushing their own evil agenda.

Well, that's what my novel is about. The protagonist, Jesse Ross gets swept up into their seductive world only to learn not only are the vampires close to instituting a kingdom of darkness; called the Long Night but he is the key to their plan.

Please, if you would be so kind, check it out. Your comments would be appreciated.

My thanks and all the best to you and yours.

Patriarch

Now this is what you have to call interesting and exciting! nicely written also.

This is the first book written in the first person that I have really enjoyed reading. You write so well, as if every word has been considered before putting it in place on the page. I;m not surprised at your No 1 ranking, but whatever THEY say in their review, you are a writer.
Well Done, I shall back it of course, not that it's needed, but you deserve it.
Jendai

Hi TL

After having a good laugh at the clearly-bitter Mr Smith down there, I read chapter one and bits and pieces of other chapters, carefully avoiding the obvious one :s It is very well written, especially the little girl with her father - very realistic and endearing.

I only noticed a few small things:

'as like sandpaper'

'strokes my hair in a fatherly fashion' - is that necessary? We know he's her father, so he would of course be stroking her hair in a fatherly fashion.

'bloody sprayed the deck'

'men clashes'? I'm not sure if that's meant to be 'men clashed', or if I'm missing something.

You write that she is 'only seven' 'but' she's too young - it should be either she's only seven AND too young, or seven but too young.

I didn't come across anything else. As I said, it is very well written and the premise is original and interesting. I almost certainly wouldn't read it because of the rape, but otherwise I wouldn't hesitate to buy it in the shop. I will back it, but I'll probably wait a few days - mostly to let the ones already on my shelf go up a bit more.

This is the second book of yours on the Editor's list. To be honest, neither book deserved it. You need to work on your storytelling, plot development, and creativity. If you truly want to get published, work on creating exciting unique pieces. Your fans on Authonomy like your personality not your writing. It's just not that good. Sorry:(

The cover caught my attention. It is fabulous! I have only had time to read the opening but I want you to know that I can see the scene playing in my head, just like I was watching a movie. I really like your descriptions and I am hopelessly hooked! I will be reading more over the next few days! Hopefully I will be able to give you an informed opinion soon! :)

Probably the best book I'm reading at the moment!

Lockjaw

20 days to go till the big cheese speaks. So I thought I’d try to prevent any EDs.

The “Most people are terrified of Father” paragraph is in the wrong place. It breaks the spell of what’s a perfect opening mini chapter ending with the chair rocking. I’d let that sink in and give it a bit of space, an extra line or something, because it’s very good.

“I refuse to bend to anyone else’s whims” also breaks the spell. I think the reader is smart enough to see where this is going at this point.

Both these sections, I’d move to the very last paragraph, inserting them just before, “I am seven years old and I want nothing more to be a pirate like my father” to make a really chilling climax to the chapter.

There’s a mistake at: “His skin is as rough as like sandpaper.”

But it’s very well done. Six months work to get to this point? I really hope it doesn’t just go up, but stays up. Good luck.

You got me to watch my first Vlog today so I thought I'd have a look at Billie's adventures as well. I've just finished reading chapter 14. Its very clear why its at number one. Well written, very easy flow and natural dialogue. The rape scene was horrific without being overtly graphic, you captured the emotion. So I've watched her develop as an arrogant teenager into a broken woman and now a vengeful pirate. I wonder what is next for her? Will she remember what is felt like to have love and tenderness in her life or will it be all hatred and violence for her in the future?

This story is truly captivating and proof that writing is a talent. You are graced with an ability I envy. Like others who have posted, I am anxious to see how this all works out for our heroine...and if you can close the story as well as you opened it. Willimeana's childhood vividly brings to surface the reader of forgotten dreams of pirating, cowboys, princesses and all the other fanticies we gave up for adulthood. EXCELLENT job of sucking us in for the long haul. As a submissions editor for Resilient Publishing, I can predice that if you're not already writing as a full time occupation, you will be someday. You can contact me at Resilient.com when you are ready to begin the journey. Our premier series Prophecy of the Flame will be hiting the big screen in 2013 and I'd love to see The Reign of Billie Blackwater listed beside that bestselling Kindle book when it premiers.

Very good T.L. wish you all the best. Please take a look at mine for a touch of real life non-fiction and thanks for that. LLL

I was completely drawn in after reading the first chapter. Then you throw in her father's death right after and I could feel her pain, her need for revenge. Throughout, Billie becomes such an amazing MC. You love her and would be scared to death if you ever met her!

This is something I would buy. Can't wait for the rest! 5 stars and WL!

And the cover....wow....just wow!

The three added chapters really play to better establish the character, Billie. (For fear of my life, I'm NOT going to call her Willomeana) One of my thinking points during the first few chapters was: How is the author going to bring this character to be a ruthless revenge seeded cutthroat? ANSWER: Chapter 14.

Billie is a HUGE character. As the story progresses, she is being given to us stage by stage. As her own story unfolds, her plight becomes not only believable but is supported by such strong language and a very strong FP narrative. I just don't think this would have been the same experience to have heard it told by a third. Risky? Yes. I think so because a character like this has to have a particular balance of sorts. Thye narrative can steal from the character--or the character not equal the narrative. This is perfection kissed smack on the lips!!!

(My inner thoughts) - I hope the whole story is written. I mean, I hope it is not being written as it is being posted. I'd hate to see someone have to hurry through it to get finished.

This is a classic. I'm anxious to see what happens to this. I could see this book being used in AP Lit classes all over the world as one that would introduce young writers how to construct narrative that does not 'steal' from the character's ability to 'show' a story. All in all, this is freaking brilliant work.

I read the first chapter and in my humble opinion it is well written and there are moments of tenderness and a deep understanding between father and daughter. I´m sure the rest of the book is written with the same motion as the first chapter.

Congrats you´re made the desk. It seems you have a lot of support from the majority of the members.

Hope all your friends will continue to support you at number one, as I will, and you will have to bake a bigger cake!

Good luck.