The Child of Events!

THE CHILD OF EVENTS:

Teymur Roshdi,

This is a very moving story, all the more poignant because it is written straight from the heart. It is quite unique, and once you have found someone to help you with straightening out a few of the language problems, it will stand out as a book that must be read.

I found myself wondering where this all took place, not just the town or district, but the country. However, this did not detract from the universal appeal of the story. I also found it incredible that a mother could abandon her newest baby to carry on feeding one who by that time could have existed on solid food. There is great sadness here, but there is also great kindness and empathy, and you show this so well in your description of how the woman, so poor herself, had the compassion to take in the abandoned baby and nurture it.

I would buy this if I saw it in a bookshop.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

This is a very well written an dresearched peice of literature. You have real gift for straight forward down to earth prose - it doesn't seem to have one wasted word. It is a very different sort of book and I am glad to have found it here! BACKED 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

The Child of Events,

Teymur,

There is a candour and honesty in your prose style, no pretentiousness, but a straightforward revelation of a very moving story. From infancy to seven years of age, it was a very raw deal and, that the narrator can capture this in words, is a real achievement.
The character observation is often full of insight; for example, your description of 'Gorgon' and his cruel attitude towards the narrator.
Despite the heartache, there is the courage of the narrator; the determination not to succumb to other's indifference and callousness but to see beauty in something as simple as a shepherd's flute which still '...reminded of joyful hours spent with other children, playing games.'
For your determination to capture a story which, already, suggests the promise of your synopsis - backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

You have the basis for a very moving and exciting story here. It is easy to see the excellent influence of Dickens and Jack London, in your complex plot line, and your main character is a very sweet and likable child, rather like Oliver Twist or David Copperfield. As the story develops you have lots of interesting incidents to share with us, and we find ourselves drawn in. Others have pointed out the need for editing, and you are probably aware of it yourself. In spite of that you have some lovely and poetic passages, such as, 'The rebellious river flowing with its indifferent and tumultuous waves...' Keep going with this book, and you should be able to get somewhere. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Hi Sir T
Very moving and emotional. It is well written and obviously very well researched. So sad but at the same time quite heart warming in parts.
Best of luck with it.
DP

A heartfelt tale. My heart goes out to the little boy.
Tons of emotions and sensitivity.

My complements!

And backed with pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

You've got quite an interesting story, and your use of first-person is disciplined. Your English is obviously non-standard, but in this case I'm not sure it doesn't help the narrative; gives it an extra measure of authenticity. Publishers may not like it though, so you may have to get an English editor to help you with it. I like your approach though, and I'm happy to back this for you.
Craig
The Job

THE CHILD OF EVENTS

Dear Teymur,

A direct exploration of a sad situation. The writing needs some help to put the reader right into the situation, but a compassionate editor can help you to do that.

On my bookshelf.
A Zoomer
Going Out In Style

This is compelling. Yes, the English is not perfect, but that adds to the charm of the writing. I loved the line - first steps in the stream of life, and the whole scenario with 'gorgon' testing you with the sugar - I found I just couldn't stop reading! Good luck with this. I really enjoyed it.

Your are like totally fantastic, Sir Teymur. :) How can I ever thank you for "commenting & backing" my 2 books. I came to your "comment" page so it will advance your book more. I'll put your book on my "watchlist," again. ;)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Sir Teymur, I got so excited when I saw that you had "backed," "He Loves Me." Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "commented & backed" your book, I came to your "comment" page to help it advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up (I have noticed that everytime someone "comments & backs" my book, it moves up on the charts). Could you please take a moment to "comment & back" my unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end of the book tells my ill-health now & my 6th abusive marriage I'm in. Thanks. :) I'd be ever so grateful. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Sir Teymur, I love your setting & the abandoned child, how you've laid the setting & his feelings. :) You did well in preparing me to read your book by your recap/pitch before your story began. It is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs (any larger ones, you may want to cut in 2 or more for an easier read by us who have short attention spans) of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "reading/commenting/backing" your book to help it move up on the charts (sending a message doesn't move your book up, but only "comment/backing"). Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment/back" my 2 memoir books to help them move up? "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end of the last chapter tells my illness now & my 6th abusive marriage I'm in. Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

Sir: the short pitch is TELLING us what this is about insetad of SHOWING. With the long pitch, I would expand on the exposition and I would break it down into smaller paragraphs so it reads faster. End it with on succinct question. Perfecting your pitches is how you climb in ranking to gather more exposure and comments to better your novel. The writing is good so I am SHELVING you.

Though I have been a very active member for over a year, I can still use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Every little bit helps. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

This is a heart breaking story. It's obvious English isn't your first language but your flaws with that actually strengthen the story so I don't see that as a problem. In the end, it's story of survival and courage. I"m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

When you said you were inspired by Dickens I didn;t really expect the prose to be crafted in such a similar way. Well done, sir. Well done. You could do with uploading it again, though. There are some formatting issues. I certainly suggest you upload more. Sort the spacing out, upload more book, people will love this
Carl
The Time Hunters

Backed with pleasure! Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
If you back my work, you may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further read and possible backing of your book.

The Child of Events

This feels like a gem needing a little bit of polish, there is something special in here. Me I would look at the time line and build what you have on to it – Good luck

Evidently English is not your native tongue but you do your best to tell it from your heart and it is thus a very moving tale. If you could find some help with editing this it would improve it's chanced for publication.

THE CHILD OF EVENTS:

Teymur Roshdi,

This is a very moving story, all the more poignant because it is written straight from the heart. It is quite unique, and once you have found someone to help you with straightening out a few of the language problems, it will stand out as a book that must be read.

I found myself wondering where this all took place, not just the town or district, but the country. However, this did not detract from the universal appeal of the story. I also found it incredible that a mother could abandon her newest baby to carry on feeding one who by that time could have existed on solid food. There is great sadness here, but there is also great kindness and empathy, and you show this so well in your description of how the woman, so poor herself, had the compassion to take in the abandoned baby and nurture it.

I would buy this if I saw it in a bookshop.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

This is a very well written an dresearched peice of literature. You have real gift for straight forward down to earth prose - it doesn't seem to have one wasted word. It is a very different sort of book and I am glad to have found it here! BACKED 100%

Liz
The Cheech Room

The Child of Events,

Teymur,

There is a candour and honesty in your prose style, no pretentiousness, but a straightforward revelation of a very moving story. From infancy to seven years of age, it was a very raw deal and, that the narrator can capture this in words, is a real achievement.
The character observation is often full of insight; for example, your description of 'Gorgon' and his cruel attitude towards the narrator.
Despite the heartache, there is the courage of the narrator; the determination not to succumb to other's indifference and callousness but to see beauty in something as simple as a shepherd's flute which still '...reminded of joyful hours spent with other children, playing games.'
For your determination to capture a story which, already, suggests the promise of your synopsis - backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

A most interesting concept and one laden with possibilites, but rather in need of some editorial attention.

Teymur,
Let me know if I can help you out with a cover for your book
http://authonomy.com/Forum/Posts.aspx?threadId=24987
Pitches: short=I often say that the short pitch should be your Hollywood Poster blurb. If you read what you've written on a poster would you read the book? Long=Needs some bulking up but I am drawn to the CDickens/JLondon inspirational bit.
Text: "I was born inbetween of a cong. struggles..." = sentence is very awkward...might take a look at that one. sorry!! curious about the use of childs instead of children?
Just spectacularly written...wow!
Great job!
-=Bradley

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

As others have said, this does have a very good premise, but is in need of a huge edit.

Backed for promise.

Lorrii

A very interesting story of deprivation and abandonment. It needs extensive editing but the core story is riveting. I suggest you find a collaborator or ghost writer to bring the English up to publishable standard.
Shelved
Frank

Needs a good edit but the foundations of the story are believable and enjoyable to read.

The writing is so good one can almost ignore the flaws in it. Almost.

Good luck with it.

Melxx
UNICORN
(crime/thriller)

Interesting story, marred by the typos..Shelved
to read a bit more. Maybe you need a friend to help you
correct it, I know how difficult it is.
Wishing you all the best...........Mikell The Free

I really enjoyed the first chapter, but it has probably been said before, it needs a good edit. I'm not sure how editors work nowdays? You may even have to have this kicked into shape yourself. But then I'm no expert on publishing. I do think you have a good story here though. Well worth a spin on the shelf. Am I right in thinking English is not your first language?
Happy to give this a spin on the shelf, and maybe people with more time on their hands will be able to offer some useful advice. It would take a good few hours to edit the first chapter, time that I haven't got right now, otherwise, I wouldn't have minded giving you a hand with it. Keep writing.
Best wishes
Sue
A Boy Called George. (please take a look if you have time)

You have the basis for a very moving and exciting story here. It is easy to see the excellent influence of Dickens and Jack London, in your complex plot line, and your main character is a very sweet and likable child, rather like Oliver Twist or David Copperfield. As the story develops you have lots of interesting incidents to share with us, and we find ourselves drawn in. Others have pointed out the need for editing, and you are probably aware of it yourself. In spite of that you have some lovely and poetic passages, such as, 'The rebellious river flowing with its indifferent and tumultuous waves...' Keep going with this book, and you should be able to get somewhere. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Dear Gerry,your comment touched me profoundly and I consider it as my best reward, much more important than being published by many companies.Of course I'm aware of all its flaws but for the moment I can't editing it,this story is like a message I put in a bottle and left it in the vast ocean , hoping that someday someone would find it, your comment is the proof that you found the 'bottle' and understood the 'message'.

You have the basis for a very moving and exciting story here. It is easy to see the excellent influence of Dickens and Jack London, in your complex plot line, and your main character is a very sweet and likable child, rather like Oliver Twist or David Copperfield. As the story develops you have lots of interesting incidents to share with us, and we find ourselves drawn in. Others have pointed out the need for editing, and you are probably aware of it yourself. In spite of that you have some lovely and poetic passages, such as, 'The rebellious river flowing with its indifferent and tumultuous waves...' Keep going with this book, and you should be able to get somewhere. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Child of Events

Pitch
A novel about the events happened to an unwanted and abandoned baby boy. (typo) events (that) happened to.

You 'build' this shattered life extremely well.....This was heavy reading for me....To be honest, I feel a bit depressed....(is that what you wanted) ........Mmmm......

You do need a bit of a chop / edit....

cow , but be aware that this sort of thing
vis a vis
cow, be aware this sort of thing ( you didn't need the 'but' or 'that')

I promised that I will be more careful the next time .
vis a vis
I promised, I would be more careful in future (another 'that' you didnt need......also sharper to say what 'next time' actually means if you can use only one word)

Do a word search on 'that' and 'but'......delete loads, and that's you well on your way to bashing the editing hammer....

I enjoyed the time I spent with you....

Shelved.....with enthusiasm for what I'm sure will be a fabulous piece

Child of Events

Pitch
A novel about the events happened to an unwanted and abandoned baby boy. (typo) events (that) happened to.

You 'build' this shattered life extremely well.....This was heavy reading for me....To be honest, I feel a bit depressed....(is that what you wanted) ........Mmmm......

You do need a bit of a chop / edit....

cow , but be aware that this sort of thing
vis a vis
cow, be aware this sort of thing ( you didn't need the 'but' or 'that')

I promised that I will be more careful the next time .
vis a vis
I promised, I would be more careful in future (another 'that' you didnt need......also sharper to say what 'next time' actually means if you can use only one word)

Do a word search on 'that' and 'but'......delete loads, and that's you well on your way to bashing the editing hammer....

I enjoyed the time I spent with you....

Shelved.....with enthusiasm for what I'm sure will be a fabulous piece

Sir2, Hot Lips hit the nail right on the head in your last comment. Your story is moving and heartrending. I like your writing voice also, easy to empathize with. But it does need to be edited to standard English. That is why you don't yet have many backings. Another point is the length of your paragraphs. Readers see them, long as they are, and run for the hills. You can easily go through your work and divide them into smaller segments. The bottom line -- you need to edit this compelling work. I'm going to back it for a while on its potential. Good luck.
Thomas J Winton
"Beyond Nostalgia"

I read 4 chapters, I found the story very clear, compelling and moving. Who could not bond with this basically cheerful child that is repeatedly let down and abandoned by his/her family. This story is so easy to read and follow and yet it is full of typo, set up flaws and non standard English. But one serious edit by a copy editor could sort this out, and the result would be a moving story. I am therefore going to back this.
BADD