WHY ANIMALS DON’T TALK.
I wonder if you’ve ever thought
Why cats and dogs and cows don’t talk
They have a mouth – they have a tongue
But, whether they are old or young
They just can’t seem to find the words
It really does seem quite absurd.
Many many years ago
All animals could talk you know
You’d often hear a cheery “Hi”
From cats and dogs as they walked by
You never heard a woof or meeow
Or moo from cows as you do now.
The change began when Spot the dog
Was chewing on a wooden log
He’d chew on anything he could
But best of all were lumps of wood
This day poor Spot was out of luck
A piece broke off and it got stuck.
He tried to cough to get it out
He rolled his big pink tongue about
He clenched his teeth he shook his head
He cried until his eyes went red
But there was nothing he could do
The piece of wood was stuck like glue.
A friendly cow came by and said
“Good morning Spot – your face looks red”
Poor Spot looked up and tried to tell
The cow he wasn’t feeling well
But when he tried to talk he found
His voice just made a funny sound.
Said friendly cow “Don’t worry Spot
We’ll find your voice, I’ll tell you what
The situations clear to me
I’ll ring the doctor’s surgery
Your voice can’t be that far away
You had it only yesterday”
No matter how the doctor tried
He couldn’t find Spot’s voice inside
“Just take some rest and stay in bed
It might come back” the doctor said
“But I must warn you – chewing wood
May mean you’ve lost your voice for good!”
As time went by the animals saw
That Spot could not talk any more
And so together they all planned
A way that they could understand
Just what Spot meant- but it was tough
To make much sense of “woof woof woof”.
Though woof was all that Spot could say
He learned to woof in different ways
And soon the animals understood
Which woof meant “bad” and which meant “good”
And which meant, “ I’m a hungry dog
So hungry I could chew a log”
Spot was so happy with his woof
The other animals cried “Enough”
They held a meeting and agreed
That if one noise is all you need
To be quite clearly understood
They’d better all start chewing wood.
But then a wise old sheep said “Bah
We haven’t got to go that far
Each one of us must choose a sound
That suits our looks down to the ground
Let’s take one week in which we’ll choose
The noise that each of us will use”
So in one week they met again
And, though each animal looked the same
They’d had the time to all agree
Which noise would come most naturally
You should have heard the dreadful din
Until the wise old sheep came in.
“Settle down” the wise sheep cried
“I hope you’ve managed to decide
What noise to make. So now, lets see
I think we should begin with me
From this day on - make no mistake
“Baa” is the noise that sheep will make.
Next to speak, the friendly cow
Said “moo sounds right for me somehow”
“Meeow said the cat I’ll meeow all day”
The horse said, “ I have chosen neigh”
Ducks chose quack and next to speak
A tiny mouse who just said, “squeak”
And as each animals turn came round
They made quite clear their chosen sounds
Snakes said “hiss” and lions roared
A pig who stood there looking bored
Said, “I don’t really see the point
But, if I must, then I’ll choose “oink”
And since that day it’s been the case
That animal noises have replaced
The words that they all used to say
And all because of one fine day
When Spot the dog began to chew
A piece of wood that stuck like glue.