Book Jacket

 

rank 5335
word count 80345
date submitted 04.02.2010
date updated 22.08.2011
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy
classification: universal
complete

A Ripple In Time

Mitchell St. George

Two life long friends travel back in time to 1969 and change their lives. Time Travel. Woodstock

 

Have you ever wished you could go back in your past and change your life? Did you ever wish for a second chance? Meet Nick Evers and Spencer Fontaine. They had been friends for more than thirty years. Divorce, unfulfilling careers, and the death of a close friend in Viet Nam, had left both of them feeling empty throughout most of their lives. What if they could go back and do it all over again? Enter the Guardian of Time who hears their silent plea and grants their request. Travel back in time with them to the summer of 1969. Journey with them to Woodstock... the music festival that defined a generation. Find out how they change their lives, save that of their friend, and what price they have to pay.

 
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1969, second chance, the sixties, time travel, woodstock

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Nick Evers

          Time. I sat in my cubicle at work and watched intently as the second hand on the clock slowly ticked forward. If I could only have turned back the hands of time, how much different my life might have been.

          My name is Nick Evers.  I am fifty-two years old and like so many others of my generation, I felt lost in a world had that changed so much since 1967. It was the year that was referred to as the summer of love. I turned sixteen that year, and it began a time in my life that I would never forget. Life was full of wonder and excitement.  Each day was another journey into the unknown, where another new experience waited in the shadows.

          Lately, whenever I wasn’t focused on some particular task, I found myself daydreaming about the distant past. Back then, I thought youth was eternal and that I would never get old. The future went no further than the next three weeks of my life. Now I detested the thought of growing older and the more than likely prospect of having a medicine cabinet full of prescriptions to accompany me. I wanted to know who had the audacity to name those the golden years. I had been married for seven years and divorced for the last ten. Now I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my cat Lucy. I had found her two years ago on a Thanksgiving morning, wandering alone in a nearby park. She couldn’t have been more than three months old. She was small and scrawny but had lots of life in her eyes. After that we were inseparable, and unlike my ex-wife, she never complained and always looked forward to my coming home.

            I leaned back in my chair and let my eyes wander to the picture of me and my best friend Spencer Fontaine. It was taken in the early part of the summer of 1969, at a park not far from my parents’ house. We were leaning on my Mustang convertible. Spencer had a half-smoked joint between his fingers and a smile on his face wider than the car grille, compliments of some of the finest weed. We had met in junior high school and within a year, we had become the best of friends. When the Age of Aquarius arrived in the summer of 1967, we both embraced it to the fullest. We smoked weed together for the first time and when the moment came to experience the mind- blowing effects of LSD, we had no qualms or reservations about ingesting the pills that would alter our outlook on everything around us.

            The music of the era was the backdrop for the hundreds of events and experiences that would come to pass. It was woven into the fabric of our lives. In the summer of 1969, the year we graduated from high school, a festival took place in Bethel, a small town in downstate New York. Woodstock was the festival that spoke for a generation. It was an event that was more about the audience than the performers. We opted not to attend because we had already seen most of the bands that would be performing at Woodstock, and the few we had not seen would sooner or later pass by. But that colossal event had little to do with the bands. It was the Age of Aquarius, all coming together for one last fun filled weekend. It was an experience that all who attended, still carry with them to this day. It was not just a concert of legend; it was the concert of legend. It was the one against which all others would be judged, and no card-carrying hippie would have wanted to miss it. We did.

            That fall I had attended a local community college, but I soon lost interest and dropped out after the first semester. I had absolutely no idea of what I wanted to do with my life after high school. I only knew that I should continue my education, but I had no plan and that in itself made for a bad start. I signed up for the liberal arts program which turned into grade thirteen. It was English, history and language all over again. I felt like I was learning nothing new, or more importantly, nothing that would qualify me to do anything in the years to follow. Life was the course I wanted to take, so I dropped out, determined to experience life to its fullest. But at some point the fun stopped.

    It wasn’t until many years later that I realized what I should have done with my life. I had been invited by my younger sister to visit her at the elementary school where she taught. After spending the day in her classroom it became quite clear to me. Teaching young minds and helping guide them through an important part of their lives had to be one of the most rewarding careers there was. Perhaps not that early in the learning stage, but at the point where students would be making the kind of decisions that would affect their futures. The kind of decisions I never made. I would have liked to blame someone else, but the guilty party stared back at me every morning in the bathroom mirror. My parents had told me on many occasions that anything worth having, was worth working hard for. And what did they know that an eighteen-year-old did not? As it turned out, they were right about nearly everything.

            That mantra also applied to the one girl in high school I so desperately wanted, but whose striking beauty and charm kept me at arm’s length, for fear she would say no if I asked her for a date. I had met Lilly during my sophomore year in high school. She was an earth mother in every way. She was kind, compassionate and had the extra luxury of being the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She had a milky white complexion, long tresses of autumn brown hair and elfin features. If I could construct the perfect woman, it would be a duplicate of Lilly. Her very presence was intoxicating. Yet I never asked her out, even though we shared some of the same classes and once had skipped an afternoon of school together. We had purchased a bottle of wine and had laughed the afternoon away by a small stream that ran through the woods near our school. I should have swallowed my fear and asked her for a date that day. It may be that she wanted me to but I will never know, and not knowing as it turned out, was worse than hearing her possibly say no.

            More and more I had begun to look back over my shoulder at what was. I was not interested in the road before me, only the one I had already traveled. This seemed to intensify after I turned forty. All my regrets seemed to roll around in my head like so many clothes in a dryer. Most of all, I missed being young and living in the late sixties. I missed the big circle of friends I once had, that over time, had shrunk to but a few. Spencer and I had talked many times about how fantastic it would be if we could travel back in time and relive the parts of our lives we missed the most. How we could change the negative experiences into positive ones, or better yet, avoid them altogether. But that was not likely to happen anytime soon. 

            With a loud sigh I turned as the sounds of heavy feet entered my cube. It was Marge, the sales team supervisor. She was an overly large person for whom nearly no one seemed to care. Being in sales was a tough job. Whatever you sold was never enough and when you did meet all your goals, then even more was expected of you. It seemed that Marge’s main job was to antagonize and irritate everybody around her. Because of her immensity she was often referred to as Marge the barge when she was not within earshot.

            Upon entering my cubicle, she immediately pounced. “Your performance level has dropped considerably Evers,” she said with a hint of smugness in her voice.

Too bad your weight hasn’t, I thought to myself.

“You have thirty days to bring it back up to an acceptable level,” she continued. “If you do not, then you will be put on a probationary level that could lead to your termination if not corrected.”

I sat in silence and glared back at her.

“So, what are you going to do about it?” she demanded.

            “Well Marge,” I said, rising to my feet, “being that it’s Friday and quitting time, I’ll have to get back to you on Monday. Have a nice weekend,” I said in my most condescending voice as I pushed by her on my way to the door.

            “You better start getting serious quick,” she shouted after me.

She was one of those people who are so unhappy at home that they feel the need to come to work and spread their misery on their fellow employees. It makes them feel better about themselves. I really could not tolerate her or the job much longer.

            After walking out of the building, I glanced up at the darkening sky. It was only 4:00 in the afternoon, but the dense dark clouds made it look like dusk. Lightning blazed in the distance. Mother Nature gave some of the best light shows on the planet. Huge bolts of lightning danced across the horizon. Moments later, an enormous earthshaking crack of thunder split the sky and with it came a fierce downpour. I turned my face upwards and welcomed the feeling of the heaven-sent rain that pelted my face, as if it could wash away all the mistakes and bad decisions I had made in my life and all the subsequent problems they had caused.                                 I climbed into my car and started driving in the torrential rain, pondering what to do next. I had some time to kill before meeting Spencer for a drink. He said he had something to tell me and I hoped it was good news. I found myself heading towards the park and pulled over just inside the entrance. Spencer and I had practically lived here at one point in our lives. This was one of two places that I frequently visited when life seemed to overwhelm me. The other was a reservoir that stood high above the city, just a few short blocks away. Time stood still for me here. I could close my eyes and be right back in one of those summers from the distant past that I thought would never end. The rain was just a drizzle now and there was no one around but me, or so I thought.   

 

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Sharahzade wrote 289 days ago

A RIPPLE IN TIME
Mitchell St. George

Your book is such an excellent story with the magnificent setting of Woodstock. You have combined the two laced with real characters that are likeable and very believable. The premise of time travel is done so seamlessly you have made it feel as if it could happen. The dialogue is wonderful and again, quite realistic for that period in time. I remember.

I enjoyed being able to read this novel to its conclusion. The story is everything in my opinion. You have a magical one here. Best of luck with keeping it alive through publication.

Backed.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck
A King in Time

julia kay wrote 450 days ago

Excellent title...a book all can relate too. I think everyone at one point wishes for a second chance. I can't wait to read more of your book. Lots of luck Julia x

yasmin esack wrote 480 days ago

Of course. I would love to do that, go back to 1969. Stange tou should choose that year because i too feel it wasa productive time in the history of the earth. Never ever a dull moment.

A pleasure to read you great book. must be published

Backed
The Mind Setter

alecstar wrote 515 days ago

Wilma1, thank you for your comments. I would like to respond to them. Yes, the first three chapters are a little on the slow side, and are heavier on narrative than on dialogue. They are also extremely brief for that very reason. After C-3... that is where the narrative ends and the real dialogue begins. The first three chapters are the blueprint for what is to follow. They are the ground work for the entire story. There is nothing to "see" in the opening chapter of Nick being in a cubicle at work. It is about whats going on in his head. Thats why its a book, and not a play in the theatre. I thought that the last sentences (in especially in the first and third chapters) were good bridges to the next chapters. That is subjective of course, as we all have our own opinions. Again, thank you for leaving your comments and best of luck with your own book.

Wilma1 wrote 516 days ago

Nick is in a cubicle at work. But I don’t think you can open like that. It’s like sitting in the theatre, the play begins but the curtain does not rise. The writer is the only person able to fully ‘see’ the setting. I needed more information to plant a picture in my minds eye.

You craft the camaradie and relationship well between the friends, and to use reflective thought to do it was clear cut and informative, which I appreciated and liked.

There was nothing at the end of Chapter one to make the reader feel compelled to race towards chapter two. I think you need a bit of a ‘high note here’ It’s a nice slow read, and I enjoyed it but your first three chapters should end with a bridge to the next. This is your window of opportunity with agents. Let me know if you don’t agree. I wanted to meet Spencer before the end of Chapter two. (my view only).

A good conversationally writing voice which isn’t easy to achieve with the balance being heavy on narrative and light on dialogue. Good luck with this.


Wilma1 - Knowing Liam Riley - I hope you like it

Herschel Shirley wrote 521 days ago

Not my cup of tea but well written. Backed.

DMR wrote 547 days ago

An interesting premise and intriguing first few chapters - Backed and best wishes
Diane
Good Blood

Jayne Lind wrote 548 days ago

Good story. My suggestion (and I hope it is taken in the spirit that I'm giving it) is that you not spend so much time in the beginning giving the background - instead dribble those facts throughout and get more dialogue in the first pages. Good luck with this. Jayne

Eveleen wrote 549 days ago

A ripple in time
Good pitch, well written first chapter
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

JD Revene wrote 550 days ago

Mitchel,

I read the first chapter. Some great description here and good insight into the narrator's make-up. An observation you might like to consider: I notice a lot of use of 'had' in the backstory here, I know why you use them, but often having clearly shown the shift to story past, writers omit subsequent use of the plus perfect.

Of course, these things are a matter of opinion: I offer mine for consideration, but you should, of course, ignore it if it does not sit well with your own sensibilities.

Good atmosphere of forboding in the last para (you could perhaps split up a little, but it works). Happy to give this a spin on my shelf.

Su Dan wrote 551 days ago

good first chapter, setting up the rest of the book well. on my watchlist for now...
read:- SEASONS...

J.S.Watts wrote 552 days ago

Nice opening – you’ve got to like a man that prefers a cat to his ex-wife. The writing flows, but there are still some typos e.g. the opening of chapter 2 where the sentence “I walked over the wet grass and head for the bench” mixes tenses uncomfortably.

I like both the concept and the execution. The only thing that didn't entirely work for me was the appearance of the Guardian and the guys' response to it (sorry - I know this one has been raised before).

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

ccb1 wrote 554 days ago

Backed! 1969 our college years. Had to read to see if you captured the feelling of the time as we remembered. Good Job!
CC Brown
Dark Side

Rand Durand wrote 554 days ago

Your MS has potential. I would suggest tightening or cutting at the beginning and get to the "marge" scene sooner.
You could probably sprinkle some of the opening graphs through the "marge" scene.
Just a thought.

Rand

Amberly wrote 559 days ago

Dear Mitchell

Time travel always worries me in a novel because i'm very aware of the implications to the present - which means i spend the whole time i'm reading worrying about the horrible ending that the book has to have and if the wrap up at the end isn't great i simply regreat the time i spent reading the book. I am intreged about your piece though, so here's my heads up that my review might not be great but that's because i have such trouble reading time travel novels!

Cheers and best of luck

Amberly

Vanquish19 wrote 573 days ago

Time travel is very difficult to understand and extremely more so to write about while keeping your facts straight. Excellent job in doing such.

Jordan K.
Bloodlines, A New Beginning

klouholmes wrote 587 days ago

Hi Mitchell, It might be because I date to that very time but I found this hypnotic. The telling feels so sincere and the choice that didn’t happen with Lily is one of the forks in life that a person tends to wonder at. The park, the memory of Alex, and the stranger showing up begin a mystical feeling. The synopsis is like an escape for anyone who has regret or curiosity about the past. Style and mood promise that this could be very worthwhile reading experience. Easily shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)


Thomas White wrote 595 days ago

I love time travel concepts. This is right up my alley. Good work. Backed.

lizjrnm wrote 595 days ago

This is awesome so far! What a excellent concept as well. Backed with pleasure.

Liz
The Cheech Room

David Fearnhead wrote 596 days ago

Great idea, but also great application of the idea to the novel. It's one thing to have the idea but you remembered the most important part and that is - no matter how good the idea you've not to forget to create characters people want to spend time reading about. You achieve that perfectly. Backed with pleasure.
David
Bailey of the Saints

alecstar wrote 596 days ago

First of all I want to thank each and every person who commented on my book. I take all comments seriously. I had not planned on responding to each one, but felt that Lara's comments, in particular, needed addressing. In regards to the spelling of vise. There are two spelling's. One is vise and the other is vice. A vise is a mechanical device found on almost any workbench and used to hold something in place (with two jaws) while you work on it. When I used the word vise in my book I said "Intense fear gripped me like the the jaws of a vise." My spelling is correct and so was the use of the word. I don't want people thinking I can't spell. You also mentioned the believability of Spencer's reaction to the Guardian when he confronts Nick and Spencer. Initially neither of them knows what he is capable of, nor do they believe that he can send them back through time, until it actually starts to happen. So for Spencer to react to the unbelivable, other than "calmly" as you point out, would be... unbelievable. By the time they realize the Guardian is what he says he is... he is out of the picture. It's the same as if somebody with long hair, a robe and sandals walks up to you and says "I'm Jesus Christ," and claims to be able to perform miracles. You won't actually believe him until he makes a blind person see or a cripple walk.. Same thing applies to the Guardian. Best of luck with your own book.

andrew skaife wrote 596 days ago

I like this, and I also backed it. You have managed to blend emotions and express imagery that can allow the reader to be part of the narrative at the same time as enjoying the story. Good stuff.

name falied moderation wrote 597 days ago

Hello Mitchell, well this book is a gem. I dont entirely agree with Lara when she says that when the Guardian appeared it was not too believable, I did. Would like to see a para in your long pitch but only because it is the first potential read a publisher will have, but it is good. Your characters are colored well and vividly outpicture their dance in my head CONGRATS......BACKED by me ........My book is of a different genre but that is the beauty of this site, and if you could 'review' and 'comment' and BACK it, I would be so happy. Again BEST OF LUCK with your book

Denise
The Letter

Lara wrote 597 days ago

The first three chapters are fine. The premise of going back in time to do things better is good. Nit pick - when you have people addressing someone you need a comma before the name. 'Yes, Nick,' etc. Also vice has a c not an s. Unless it's different in your country. You dialogue is believable. But then when the Guardian appears, it isn't easy to suspend belief. Faced with such an enormously surprising figure out of the blue, would he really say, calmly. 'Is this who you're talking about?' as if it's just another mate. So, take care with believability. But backed for encouragement, press on but not regardless. x
Lara
Good For Him

lynn clayton wrote 599 days ago

It's as if Nick is speaking to us directly, a sure way to keep our interest. You have an expressive but easy, conversational style with just a hint of unavoidable melancholy. The opening paragraph - the most important apparently-is excellent. backed. Lynn

lynn clayton wrote 599 days ago

It's as if Nick is speaking to us directly, a sure way to keep our interest. You have an expressive but easy, conversational style with just a hint of unavoidable melancholy. The opening paragraph - the most important apparently-is excellent. backed. Lynn

Jim Darcy wrote 599 days ago

read chapter 1 to 5. This made for a good read on a wet afternoon, remembering the heydays. I missed the 60's and had to settle for the 70s as a teenager, we really felt shortchanged I can tell you! Much here to enjoy and savour.
Regards, Jim Darcy
The Firelord's Crown

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 599 days ago

This is animportant thought but for perhaps different reasons than the one's you are promoting. Very few people knew the 'swinging sixties' or 'The Love generation' pushed by the newspapers. It is quite normal that a man in his fifties would feel something missing later in life. You do well to explore this theme, good luck. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

Owen Quinn wrote 602 days ago

This resonates with everyone, there is something we would all want to change and the age old idea of something in our past has been done time and again but the story is eternal because every situation and characters is new and fresh and the story has told from their perspective. Great stuff.

Stephen Bonniol wrote 603 days ago

I must have this book! Not only due to the time period but also time travel fascinates me. My second novel is about time travel. Please check out my novel OFFSPRING, if you have a chance.

Sandie Newman wrote 605 days ago

This was a joy to read. I love the idea and I also love the whole aspect of time and how powerful it can be. The opening is brilliant and set the scene very well. I love the way you describe the relationship with cat, very sweet. You writing is eloquent with wonderful descriptions, backed with pleasure

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

Burgio wrote 605 days ago

RIPPLE IN TIME
This is a good story. The idea – what would it be like to go back in time and see if things could be changed – isn’t new – but always works because we all wish at some point we could do that - so makes it easy to relate to your characters. The beginning strikes me as a little slow. I’m wondering if you don’t want to begin with something more dramatic such as the death of Alec then go back and fill in details on a need to know basis. The object of that would be to hook in your audience faster. Either way, this is well written. I’m adding it to your shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Susan Bennett wrote 664 days ago

I like the concept, the story and the writing. I'd buy this if it were available. I'll be backing it as soon as I get a free space on my bookshelf. All the best with it.

K.Z. Freeman wrote 710 days ago

love the concept, the writing doesn't fall short.

Famlavan wrote 710 days ago

Don’t usually like first person narrative, but this works. One thing I find in first person is that descriptions become very, very visual often to the detriment of other sensory descriptions. This is good, good look

soutexmex wrote 713 days ago

BACKING you. I can use your comments on my book if you can spare the time. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Jo Ellis wrote 729 days ago

This is great, you give us great back story in the first chapter which will not doubt lead us into what will be the story of going back and doing over. Will they go back as they are or start over again as teenagers? I want to know so I would read on.

Your writing is so easy to read and I found I didn't drift once as I read which means you go my attention and held it... I would pick this up and read it all...

JO xx

Spoilt

FMKnight wrote 730 days ago

I really like this; it is well written and clear. Backed.

Ariom Dahl wrote 731 days ago

This is very nostalgic and I’m sure many of us can relate to the MC’s feelings. Although I’m not quite sure, if I could go back and change the past, that I would. A few minor nitpicks regarding pronouns (eg a photo of Spencer and me, not Spencer and I, and maybe a few too many uses of ‘had’), but these can be fixed when you go through and edit next time. You might also like to try saying the dialogue out loud and listening, as it seemed a little stilted to me in places.

Kop wrote 732 days ago

Hi, I like the idea and agree with all the comments below, but backed nevertheless. I have taken on board my crits and reduced my text dramatically. Readers don't read too much so it's important to hook them from the start. See what you think of my updated start. Kop - The Lucky Bean Tree.

jhoom wrote 732 days ago

Hi. I agree with kizgikate - this is well written but it does start slowly. I really like the premise of returning to an earlier happier time, and the characters are engaging. I would suggest you have a think about ways of establishing Nick's character without all the description in Ch 1 - perhaps more can be revealed in his conversations with Spencer? Your dialogue is good and keeps the narrative moving along. Best of luck!

kizgikate wrote 733 days ago

It's well written. After a bit of a slow start it begins to pick up and the adventure begins. It is well written and has an interesting premise. I a a few years younger than the protagonist. Would I want to go back in time? I don't think so. But I can imagine other people wanting to, and especially people who graduated from high school in 1969. :) Because of time constraints (!) I was only able to read five of the chapters. I liked them. They were a good start and I might come back and read more to see what happens to the very likable characters.

Thetinman wrote 733 days ago

Mitchel, your writing style is very good. It seems almost as if you've had some experience. Your command of english and your ability to convey the MC's thoughts are very well done.
A minor nit: Perhaps a prologue or less description in the beginning would help to speed up the pace. Once the dialogue starts, it moves.
That's my 2 cents!
Backed
Paul
We've Seen the Enemy

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