Tabernacle

This is one of those books that has the power to pick you up out of your ordinary life and transport you to a totally different time and place. And although that time and place - the garment district of New York - is tough and brutal - the writing is so flowing, you feel as if you're a part of the scene. Good Story. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Congratulations, Cynthia, this is a true epic that ices up the blood. It's been a long while since I've come across a book on here that I would buy but this is it. I want to know and see more. I only have one very very minor criticism and it isn't even a criticism, and it's to do with the pitch. Don't tell us that Lilia dies in the pitch. Let it take us unawares. I was so pleased when she recovered from her illness that the thought of her perishing later on is tough to take. Now of course, you make us care about these characters, so let it be a nasty surprise when she does finally die. I definitely want more of this.

This is an awesome read. Flawless and urgent. Backed.

An excellent story. I love the opening and can just picture the square with trees surrounding it. I especially love the part where the man puts his hands around the moon to try and cup it. wonderful. The writing is excellent, very descriptive without being too flowery. Wonderful, backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

If any book here deserves its rapid rise in the rankings, this one does. Its vivid depiction of the lives of downtrodden Jews, both in pre-Soviet Russia and the US is shocking and enlightening, conveying both the horror of oppression and the hope for better things that drove people to seek refuge in the United States--refuge that sometimes deceived the hopeful--will enlighten and enthrall. Parts are hard to read, not because the prose isn't lucid (it is) but because the suffering is so intense.

Readers familiar with Isaac Bashevis Singer, Bernard Malamud, Caleb Carr and E.L Doctorow will feel on familiar ground here as a world that no longer exists lives again. Readers caught up in contemporaneity may find the going more difficult, but very much worth exploring. And the past is not really the past entirely. Oppression lives, and oppressed people still yearn to be free.

Shelved--Bill

The subject matter interested me immediately. As I read, I marveled at your writing, such as they way you handled the first Cossack encounter with snippets of impressions. I enjoyed the first three chapters and am placing this on my WL to read four and five at my soonest convenience. Starred highly for now. Best wishes.
Regards,
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

You lay out your wares beautifully. We are introduced to the Jewish way of life and community and the use of the dialect makes it all the more authentic. I love the line ‘Your brother would run from a pigeon’
My goodness you don’t pull your punches when you write of the reprisal. It’s sickening and revolting and brutal. Carsie and Lilia have to gain some inbuilt strength to survive this I need to read more this is stunning.
Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – Please spend a moment to take a look

Lovely writing. A great premise. A wonderful social and historical commentary. Beautiful characters and a great sense of atmosphere. Well done.

Wonderful! Beautifully written, sensitively characterized and gripping. I wish I could see more!

Wendy Bertsch
(Once More..From the Beginning)

ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS, has everything I am drawn to. excitement, struggle, strength, colour, flow. I love this sort of book. Well written with good use of language to capture the characters and scene. BACKED yes it is. If yo could read some of my work I would be so pleased, and thank you.BEST of luck with this Cynthia

Denise
'The Letter'

I love the voice to this. Easy to back.
Please consider taking a look at my book, The Job.
Craig

A great deal of background is set up in the opening chapter. THis leads to believe the story is rich in plot and detail. It reads not only like historical fiction, but with the tone and voice of the time it speaks.
Just lovely.
Backed,
Ellen (Thoughts of a Teenage Girl)

Tabernacle

First let me apologise for the lateness in commenting – Dogs, food and friendship got in the way.

You have a fantastic style of writing you create mood and atmosphere that is enviable.
Your skill transports the reader straight into the story. Carsie is a brilliant character and the dialogue fits the time and place
I can’t comment about grammar – not my thing. I tend to comment about the big picture, how it feels and this feels great – Good luck.

The writing is very good and the sense of place very authentic. You do spend a lot of time focusing on the Jewishness of the piece which sometimes felt excessive to me. i totally believed it but felt you could have done it a little more efficiently. Sometimes it felt you stopped everything to get in an extra couple of line of Jewishness in there, which i don't think you needed, having done a good job of it already. A matter of taste though.

The vignettes at the beginning of the story to show life before the cossack attack felt a little underdeveloped. Visually, say in a movie, they would have worked fine probably, but as as series of images on the page they felt a bit random. A guy sweeping, a couple sleeping, a very odd bedtime story, some cossacks, a rabbit.

There were a lot of people in the first chapter and you moved around quite a lot so i wasn't sure who's story this was. That's just an observation of how I felt when reading, for what it's worth.

When Reuven wonders why they had left them alone i didn't know who he was talking about. The town had just been attacked, they hadn't been left alone. I felt I was missing something there.

The attack itself seemed to happen off-stage so I felt you didn't get the most out of it. You chose to stay with the people hiding and only show the aftermath, but even that didn't seem so bad. Both the initial vignettes and the attack felt narratively quite flat. A thing that just happens. I would suggest they could each do with a little arc so that it doesn't quite go so to plan. I don't mean you need major twists, but some kind of bump in the road so that things don't feel quite so straightforward.

I think my main concern (like you should care) is that although things aren't obvious or cliched or anything like that, what happens is that you set up what's going to happen, then it happens. Nothing unexpected occurs. The cossacks are approaching - they attack. The villagers are warned - they hide. The broadside is printed - the Czar is pissed. It all felt a bit too on-the-nose and direct.

This is only after reading one chapter so my take may well be somewhat skewed, but there it is. Feel free to ignore.

Regards,
mood

Cynthia, this is a great start to what looks likevan epic novel. like this period too. Could be a companion piece to another novel on/was on Authonomy 'Goliath's Head' about the pogroms in Tsarist Russia. Please take a look at my own 'The Pasrtisan' also based on Russian history. BACKED Chris1

This is an era and a place I know nothing of, so bear with me, okay. “And who will you take when you go?” A definite premonition there! This is tragic, but so well written. I could see this happening.

Cynthia
This is an interesting premise and you write it well. You obviously now and have researched a lot about this area of history and it shows in your writing. I read the first two chapters, tight writing, couldn't see any typos or nitpicks. Backed, good luck,
Charlie

Cynthia, your style turns fiction into reality. The rich details are a testament to your profound knowledge of the Jewish life in Russia at the beginning of 1900’s. Good historical fiction offers a possibility to learn something from the past and Tabernacle does not disappoint the HF fan. Pity, that your sample does not include the trip to the garment industry in NY – I was looking forward to that. Maybe you’ll add more chapters later on. Let me know if you do. Backed.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

Thanks for your story, Cynthia. Hope you'll read mine, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not & my unedited version, Tell Me True Love Stories of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. Thanks, Susie :)

This story really draws me in and seems to summon from my subconscious memories of what it was like to live in such a time when life was so marginal and frightening. Your narrative flows nicely although it is a little bumpy where you introduce sentences and phrases in what looks to be German or yiddish, I cannot be sure. But I am glad for the injections of the foreign tongues as I find it highly educational and a story that educates seems to me to be a very laubible achievement. This story does just that and what it teaches is dedication to cause and wholesome morals. You should be proud that you have relied upon such substance instead of using gratuitous sex or violence to sell your work. Your characters need a little more detailing in but that comes with futher reading. Well done! I appreciate very much your skill as you pulled me right into their tenuous and frightening lives from my comfortable office chair. Backed with love and admiration, Callaghan

Hi Cynthia
A real eye opener and you obviously have experience of the subject matter. Non fiction can sometimes be slow, but you've made this into a thrilling book with great description. WLing to read more tonight.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Great story. Backed

BD Nelson
Abigail's Cries
Scorned

Ms Drew, this is really good work. Great mix of narrative and true-to-life dialogue. Nothing to nitpick.

Sincerely backed.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

I like this a lot but it's not a book I want to read on screen. Authonomy is tough on the eyes and the books that are easy to read here are not necessarily the ones I would buy in a store. Yours, I feel, I would buy and would sit down with and savour...
I don't have crit because, to be honest, I don't think you need it. This is strong, assured writing and I wish you all the very best with it...

Very happy to back you.

A wonderful beginning, with wonderful, ethereal descriptions. I'm hooked, and I shall definitely be reading more.

Backed with pleasure,
Abi xxx
"Everyone knows the rule: Stay inside the Wall, but Tisha believes rules were made to be broken." - Relic

A great start. Very intriguing and I already like your characters. I'll read more tomorrow.

This is one of those books that has the power to pick you up out of your ordinary life and transport you to a totally different time and place. And although that time and place - the garment district of New York - is tough and brutal - the writing is so flowing, you feel as if you're a part of the scene. Good Story. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

This has the makings of an epic. You have brought this world back to life with skill and love and I am really keen to read more. I think that you really get into your stride in chapter 2 - C 1 feels a little muddled to me - jumping back and forth. But apart from that, I absolutely love it and am backing Tabernacle with pleasure.
Shalini x

It is hard to right beautifully and clearly --- I think that you succeed.

Well done with the character presentations and the historical background, though to be honest I was hoping it would continue with the story in the Pale (which I know little about) rather than early industrialist America (which I'm much more familiar with). The pace is so smooth that the action sequences don't stand out as much as they could, but otherwise, I'm definitely keeping an eye on this.

Thanks, Yasmin, for backing Tabernacle. Much appreciated. Cynthia

Epic story and one that must be commended. Very enjoyable read. Expertly done.

Epic story and one that must be commended. Very enjoyable read. Expertly done.

This needs to look right on the page. So much work is uploaded here without enough thought to format. I want this to look like a book; it'd be a lot easier to make sense of the reading experience if it did. Lose the line-breaks and indent and justify. I'd lose the asterisked line-breaks, too; either find a better order for the prose, or trust that the reader can move freely between times and places.

I think the content has some value. The persecution of the Jews in nineteenth century Russia has been almost entirely forgotten, and there really ought to be a wealth of resources to build stories about this time and place. I wonder if America as the promised land still exists in our consciousness, though?

This needs an edit. Sometimes, your pace and rhythm are undermined by words used oddly, or by dodgy bits of grammar that are misplaced. I'm particularly wary of the ellipsis and the em-rule; they're both difficult to use elegantly as they tend to dominate a page, and there are sound reasons to alter sentence structures so as to avoid them.

So far as the authorial voice is concerned, I have no problem with it, except that I don't feel it kicks in early enough. I didn't begin to really sympathise with any of this until the dialogue got under way, at which point, I found the married couple and the conflict caused by their political and domestic needs quite affecting. I wonder if that might be a better place to begin?

If this was in the top 100, I'd want you to do more work before I backed it. As it is, I'm prepared to take a punt on it, and hope that it's licked into shape by the time it gets to the ED. I can see a lot of people really warming to this, so good luck,

Adelie High (Naming Names)

A classic story which I found totally riveting. Superb writing, the story immediate and the subject matter fascinating in a grim way.
A truly dark period in history which absorbed me from the first words. I applaud you for your remarkable ability to tell a story and your skill in bringing it to life.
Backed with admiration. Margaret.

Sounds intrigueing and added to my watchist for later reading when i return howm. All the best Andy

This is an awesome read. Flawless and urgent. Backed.

Hi, this such a grimm story to begin with that I very nearly gave up, but I'm glad now having taken time to get to know your characters it is a very compelling story. Good luck with it, Maggie P.

Congratulations, Cynthia, this is a true epic that ices up the blood. It's been a long while since I've come across a book on here that I would buy but this is it. I want to know and see more. I only have one very very minor criticism and it isn't even a criticism, and it's to do with the pitch. Don't tell us that Lilia dies in the pitch. Let it take us unawares. I was so pleased when she recovered from her illness that the thought of her perishing later on is tough to take. Now of course, you make us care about these characters, so let it be a nasty surprise when she does finally die. I definitely want more of this.

Thanks for the backing, Richard. And I didn't even show you the sexy parts...Cynthia

Man's inhumanity to man..... Utterly harrowing. I could weep.

Man's inhumanity to man..... Utterly harrowing. I could weep.

Very powerful, Cynthia. You remind us just how astonishing the bravery of these people was. This comes over as real living history, and we, somehow hover over the scenes, spellbound.
Best wishes,
Scott.

I would buy this simply based on the subject matter. With the added bonus that it is written with care and skill.
You are on my watchlist, set for full backing.
SU DAN [Seasons]

Thanks for the comment and the backing, all best with The Scribe - a fine book. Cynthia

An impressive piece of writing. The voice is authentic, the telling convincing. Good luck.

Bill Hackett--THE SCRIBE

An impressive piece of writing. The voice is authentic, the telling convincing. Good luck.

Bill Hackett--THE SCRIBE

An excellent story. I love the opening and can just picture the square with trees surrounding it. I especially love the part where the man puts his hands around the moon to try and cup it. wonderful. The writing is excellent, very descriptive without being too flowery. Wonderful, backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

If any book here deserves its rapid rise in the rankings, this one does. Its vivid depiction of the lives of downtrodden Jews, both in pre-Soviet Russia and the US is shocking and enlightening, conveying both the horror of oppression and the hope for better things that drove people to seek refuge in the United States--refuge that sometimes deceived the hopeful--will enlighten and enthrall. Parts are hard to read, not because the prose isn't lucid (it is) but because the suffering is so intense.

Readers familiar with Isaac Bashevis Singer, Bernard Malamud, Caleb Carr and E.L Doctorow will feel on familiar ground here as a world that no longer exists lives again. Readers caught up in contemporaneity may find the going more difficult, but very much worth exploring. And the past is not really the past entirely. Oppression lives, and oppressed people still yearn to be free.

Shelved--Bill

Okay. This is an entirely unfamilar period for me and I will admit to struggling quite a bit. I found that there was almost too much detail in the first chapter. You seemed to be falling over yourself to get as much in as possible, I know that it is setting the scene and the story and the place and it does do that. But as someone who knows very little about Jewish culture I kept frowning and going 'what is shetl?' , 'what is sufganiyot?'. I just about got what turnip latkes were, that kept taking me out of the tale.And then when there were whole sentences of a language I don't speak, I found it a bit difficult to read.
I think it could do with a paragraph or two of the characters discussing the Cosaks before they come charging in, otherwise again I was thinking, well I have heard of Cosaks but what the bleeding hell are they, apart from having nice boots.
Perhaps if you limit the number of new words you introduce per paragraph, ease me in gently and I shall soon pick up the lingo. I just felt overwhelmed by the amount of detail and a bit stupid for not being able to follow it.
Reading ahead it does slow down a bit, Chapter 4 for example is a nice, easy to understand read.
There is a slight typo in chapter one "If they went to back Kiev" should be 'back to Kiev'?
This does have the makings of a big old epic and utterly destroying Carsie's world is a heart rending and awful way to start her journey but it does free her up for her adventures/trials.

A well crafted plot in an historical setting awakening readers to the struggles of good people against the Cossacks and others, and the pressures of society on these people. The work is storytelling raised to an art form. Backed

Dear Cynthia Drew,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your pitch builds loads of sympathy for your protagonist, particularly when he leaves her for a showgirl and the Jewish mob. Harsh. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by “marry blindly and your wife will lead you by the nose”. I was uncomfortable by the “toothbrush” reference because a question ran through my mind if they had them then and felt “brushing teeth” might’ve been safer. I see Kefira came after her husband, and I do worry for the poor man’s life. You’ve built up sufficient sympathy for Lilia that I am invested in her and don’t wish her to die. The diagnosis of typhus horrified me. I like Kefira’s turnabout of devotion, and you create excellent antipathy toward the Cossaks. That’s harsh, killing the man you liked with typhus.

I’m impressed. I chose a random sample chapter, not knowing any of the history or the politics, and everything clicked into place, allowing me to enjoy the story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Much enjoyed... I wish you the very best of luck with it! kind regards pinkcoffee 'In The Moment'

A grand historical epic, really; beautifully crafted and thought-through; rich in detail and emotion. Gripping, satisfying, heartbreaking. Shelved.

The best of luck with this, Cynthia!

Your book shows the future of mankind, a future full of hate, brought on by ignorance fear and greed, backed by intolance braved by love and forgiveness.

The world's past is full of "Holocausts".

You tell a sorrowful story, if only it were pure fiction, but it is not, I feel so sad now.

I will back your story, I hope you find a publisher.

Regards.

Eleanor.

Cynthia,
I finally was able to back Tabernacle. I liked your pitch and enjoyed reading the book while waiting on news from Amazon novel contest. Congratulations!!! It seems the Amazon judges also liked your pitch. All the best with your writing here and in the Amazon contest.
Daniel “Storykeeper”

Love the cover, is that an ancestor of yours? It and your pitch set the book well and make it appealing enough for one to read further. You have done some beautiful work in crafting this compelling and gripping story. The pace is just right, scenes painted marvelously, and the plot captivating. Best wishes on this project! Shelved.

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

This is an horrorfic tale of bigotry and brutality and violence against the innocent. The Czar's policy against Russian Jews is one of the most disgraceful events of the 20thC.
This is a savage account of that terror, depicting the suffering and the mindless atrocities that were inflicted on a helpless people.
The writing is as powerful as the story it tells. The reader is swept along by the fast moving plot and the need to follow the two girls' lives, hoping there is a place they can be safe.
Backed