A Benwarian Fix

L.W.,

You truly have a way with description! I'm loving this read! It's a shame that such good writers no longer use the site. Hopefully you're putting your talent to good use writing elsewhere!

Have a wonderful day wherever you are!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

A Benwarian Fix is an intriguing book with an excellent cover by the way. Exciting premise which brings to mind the oil spill in the Gulf and the devastation of plant, animal and human life. I would pick this up at any book store. The relationship between Ship and Logis is fascinating especially as they study earth―its beauty, its cultures and the tragedy of the build-up of waste. Vivid imagery, skillful dialogue and superior research make this a must read. Highly starred and hope to back when space come available. Claire ~ Chasing Pharaohs.

Great story. I love it.

Interesting how it takes an oil spill to make us see how humanity is carelessly destroying the Earth with its own lifestyle. The night a catastrophic oil spill made its presence known in my town with a horrific stench, I sat up most of the night until the sun came up and I could go see it thinking about this very issue. The fact that our civilization is not sustainable and will eventually render the planet incapable of saving life. Only instead of aliens, I imagined the Creator sending angels to reduce the population and force the human race to live within the means of what the planet could support.

And then I covered the story. Perhaps I should follow up my non-fiction book about the spill with a novel about what I imagined that night. I love a good apocalypse.

Laura Adams (Leap of Faith)

Dear L.W, great premise to an almost proven theory . [ chem trails ], although you have cleverly conscripted a different blend to go with the idea. This is a very good read, And maybe, this is another end of the world conspiracy, but told so good. Doesn't it tell us what's really happen out there. This book is worth it, for the professional wonderment and very good plot that pulls the reader along, casting their curiosity. Good luck and best wishes with your book. Please look out for backing. Take care, Cicuta, [ Carl, Arcane ].

This is very good; I've already read enough to know I should like to back it - which I shall - and also enough to know that I shall 'red letter' it in the hope that some time I shall be able to read all of it.
Very best wishes for this book.
RT

Excellent premise, attention grabbing and and well written.

I find that the writing is well thought-out and descriptive. The factual information is well researched.

But, honestly, I felt a little bored by the plot, which echos scifi shows and other books. I was also turned off by the "Lemmings," which seemed a bit on the cheesy side. You might rename them.

Of course, that's just my opinion. You can ignore if you want.

Elizabeth Love
(Pouring the Cup)

Hey Carolina! Thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate your comments. L.W. Will read yours this afternoon.

A clever science fiction story. Endearing characters depicted with skill and keen observation. Their conversations flow naturally. Good world building. Vivid sense of place. Compelling, thought provoking storyline. Impressive writing. A compulsive read. Backed.

A Benwarian Fix is an imaginative science fiction novel which is sure to disturb the reader into thinking more about the devastating effect human civilization is having on the ecology. Backed with pleasure.

I do like what I have read so far. You have crafted a most fascinating storyline and "The Benwarian Fix" is a most unique concept. Your imaginative writing makes your work a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I paused to back this, it has me totally engrossed. Your writing is very thought provoking and compelling.

backed
sue
Fate's Chastening

Lemmings acquiescing in the destruction of their own world - they're not the only ones. There's a lot of excellent irony in this, such as wiping out aggressors.
I found it incredibly easy to read though to be pedantic there was one passive phrase in the third para. of ch 1 which stood out because it was so different from the rest - '...until control was regained.' Seems insignificant but it broke the flow of the narrative.
The ideology is presented in an uncliched way and touches on much more than just climate change - more subtle things. Excellent. Backed. lynn

a stylishly written book...well done;= watchlist for now...
read SEASONS...

Dear L.W., I love that you are covering the oil spill - what a tragedy - thanks for all of the research you did to be able to write your book for us who are oblivious of solutions, etc. ;) Your pitch is very well done & set the hook for me to read your book. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book. :) "When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
additional authonomy quote: "Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs." :)

L.W., the writing is stellar and the story amazing. Your writing style is interesting and I found that your strengths lie in your descriptive writing. The story has an intense creepiness and I loved every moment of it. You have developed a very appealing story and the diabolical tone adds tension that pushes the story forward.
I wish you the best
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Good read with believable characters and world. The topic is very relevant and i love the line about desecrating the womb of their existence. The aliens give a good viewpoint as to man's stupidity in his attitude to the planet. The writing flows well and I can see exactly what you are describing which is exactly what a writer should convey. Well done.

LW, your first chapter reads well. A good use of a creative imagination. Nothing to nitpick in that section.

Happy to back your work.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

This is a good story. And as the pitch suggests has a hidden (or not so well hidden) lesson behind it: overpopulation and careless use of resources can doom a planet. I was surprised to see the Benwarian ship described as looking like a dustpan. Would an alien world use the same shaped article to pick up broom sweepings? What would be the chance of that? Aside from that one odd glitch, tho, this reads as if aliens are actually invading earth. You've made Logis a likable character. It's a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Unusual concept.
This is very well written, knowledgeable and aware enough to use all sensory predicates to build tension and atmosphere, very impressive.
There is a touch of humour in this, which balances the deeper suggested metaphors. There is more to this then just a simple surface structure story. I’ll echo my earlier words; this is very well written and structurally deeper then most. – Good luck

Read your Bio - backed for safety - comments soon ( a lot behind, in comments that is)

This is an amazing opening. With very little effort you set up the situation Logis’s is in. You then go on to set up the rest of the story. This is an intriguing premise with a clear message. There are more than a few people I can think of that I would recommend this book too.

Well done.

~ ILA ~

A gripping tale, you hold the reader well. I like the originality of your chosen perspective. It's clear from the outset that you've invest time, effort and a lot of thought into this book. The detail is thorough. More than happy to back this.
David
Bailey of the Saints

You have injected elements of the fantasy genre and it works well. I enjoyed your story, I felt the language was precise and it gave me a sense of atmosphere. The writing is excellent and the characterizations well developed.
The story has many little gems planted throughout the book—appealing. You have created a new world; with it own history, culture, and language—impressive

Great storytelling

Best

Scott

Hi L.W.
Very interesting premise. I would echo the suggestion to trim down the info-dump a bit in the first few pages. Also, 'terraform' means to change the surface of the earth, not killing humans. So, unless the Benwarians are going to be fiddling with ecosystems and mountain ranges you might want to try a different word.

However, you have excellent descriptive skills, and I could see everything you were describing -> gross rotting bodies! ;p

Going by what you have posted I think you have a good concept. Backed.

A Benwarian Fix:

L.W. Samuelson,

The concept of revival was ingenious and fascinating, when accomplished with such imaginative technology.
I wanted - but didn't need - to read on to know that I was in the hands of an author who could use the genre to stretch the bounds of science in a way that is at once enthralling and having truly frightening warnings in terms of complacency pitched against the survival of our civilisation on Earth. Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

this is a great sci-fiction story. Backed.

Your book engenders a powerful message in the story it tells. I like your characters, and like the book but I have one big problem: you are flirting with overkill in the first chapter, trying, I feel, to tell far too much about the
Benwarians, their planet, their science and their motivations. You have written a very good book here but I think you could improve it greatly by hooking the reader with a terser first chapter - not make them feel as if they are reading a science textbook. Cut the first chapter to the bone and your book will be irresistible.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

I enjoy seeing the other side of the aliens invade paradigm. You create a very likable group with the Benwarians, much more so than most humans, I'm afraid. I like the idea of aliens more likable than we are, in effect, rooting for the other side, and I'm looking forward to see how it works out. Shelved.

Sessha

The first chapter is mainly exposition and the second is mainly backstory. That's the main issue i have with this. The prose is solid and the idea works well, the society you have created feels complete and real. But the story drags until you get on Earth when it picks up quite a lot when you aren't explaining thousands of years of history of an alien culture (no surprise there)

What I would say is in the first chapter the info dump is too direct. There is one part when the computer asks him a series of questions to check he's mentally okay where he answers and at the same time feeds us info on his home planet. That kind of technique was good, and was what was missing from the other parts of exposition.

A lot of it was also too much history delivered like a lecture. History lessons can wait, I would much rather you have him wake up and then have to do something. Preferably something quite difficult that also demonstrates who he is and what kind of guy he is.

I would also suggest avoiding using Earth terms when in the alien mindset, even though your pov is omni it's distracting to mention Borscht or Moses as reference points. Also killing Lemmings read like you were making a joke.

The stuff when he's being given the 411 on Earth was a bit blah. Too many city names and kind of cliched examples of Earth badness. That part had a cheap sci-fi movie vibe to it, the bit where they show Hitler shouting at a rally and Spock says 'Clearly they are savages' or something. I think you could trim a lot of that stuff and find more interesting examples to use.

The initial backstory of his family was a bit dull, but his father's explanation of how they wiped out a race for being needlessly aggressive worked well, told me a lot. i would cut back the other stuff and focus on that.

The girl was spectacularly annoying. I can't explain why but I hope she gets sacrificed early on. This is of course a judgement call on my part.

i think this shows a lot of potential from what I've read, the conflict is clear, although the route is not (which is a good thing). It kept moving forward and was enjoyable. The writing is good and flows well. I just feel the first two chapters are a bit choked up with info and need to be excised of stuff we don't need to know right away and a little more finessed with the stuff we do.

Just my opinion, please disregard at your liesure.

cheers,
mood

Your pitch tells a fascinating story about the results of man's treatment of his environment, and how the earth is taken over by aliens, Benwarians, who have the answer. In your opening chapter, Logis wakes up from a two hundred and twenty-three year stasis to find that his spaceship is about to arrive on Earth. The spaceship, known as Ship, has a personality, and has been seeking for a replacement planet for the Benwarians, whose own planet has been destroyed by over population. Ship shows Logis the beauty of the Earth, and how man has destroyed her. You describe the beauty of our planet in excellent, poetical detail, and the horrors of industrialisation equally clearly. You have a moral theme here, but as the plot moves on, the morality becomes less clear cut. A very interesting book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Unusual and timely retelling of the old 'alien invasion' tale....form the aliens perspective. A way to scrutinise our own activities and behaviours with regard to our treatment of our home planet. Interesting premise. Backed.

Okay. Intriguing, detailed, good first chapter. I find it hilarious that the people are called Lemmings and that his favorite dish is borscht. Very visual. I was a bit left out on whether or not he looked humanoid or not, but then, I have the same problem in my own story so I can't be critical in the first chapter. I'm sure you go over that later. Good job, I think think is very interesting. Good luck

Now, here's a good story. Awesome pitch, too. I want to read more, and that says it all.

The Poor Man's Poet

Interesting style of writing, am very intrigued to read more - only read the first few chapters. Watchlisted for now, until I can get to the rest. Impressed so far, well done

Wow. This is a goodie. Highly descriptive, excellent scene painting, dialogue and characterisation. I would buy it.
Backed
Frank

This is a subject I have pondered over most of my life. I am thus very interested in the premise. It is an interesting idea, to have experts come from a world they have seen killed, to another world they observe about to be killed. It's a very ambitious idea. There are so many things that can go wrong in wooing the reader into suspending disbelief. Aliens have to remain alien and yet be sutable personalities for the reader to bond with. I would like to back this.
BADD

Though I am not a believer that man has created global warming, this is a well written piece of Sci-fi. My best wishes.

HI new friend! I struggled with the name for a long time. It was originally called the Chosen One but the Benwarian's are in a "fix" because they're homeless. They have to fix the planet and, in the end, the Benwarian leader resorts to a morphine fix to ease his pain. Ben in Latin means good, they are fighting the good war by saving the planet. Hence the name. The book is truly about Earth and the fact that we take it for granted when in the eyes of the aliens it is seen as "the pinnacle of creation." Thanks for your support. BTW the book is already published.

Hi LW! This is a great piece of science-fiction writing. I like the philosophical and worldly questions your book poses, and it is all intertwined with a thrilling sci-fi genre story. I love books that deal with important matters, but do so in an entertaining way.

I recommend a retitle to your book, to maximize its catchiness for potential readers. Rather than A Benwarian Fix, how about "Beyond Earth"? :0)

Yours Truly,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

Hi LW! This is a great piece of science-fiction writing. I like the philosophical and worldly questions your book poses, and it is all intertwined with a thrilling sci-fi genre story. I love books that deal with important matters, but do so in an entertaining way.

I recommend a retitle to your book, to maximize its catchiness for potential readers. Rather than A Benwarian Fix, how about "Beyond Earth"? :0)

Yours Truly,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

Actually the book is complete. It's self-published and can be found on Amazon UK. It has a happy ending for Earth not so much for some of the characters. Thanks for the backing. Hi LW, I love this idea, I love the parallel between the Benwarians and humans, and their planet and earth. They predicted their planet was going to be devastated and they decided to let it happen, it's reminds me a little of all the disasters we read about at the moment and global change and we are also sitting back and letting it happen. I like the fact that they found earth and are going to inhabit it, but will the same thing happen again? Really intriguing, a clever idea and very fitting for the times we live it. This is on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Hi LW, I love this idea, I love the parallel between the Benwarians and humans, and their planet and earth. They predicted their planet was going to be devastated and they decided to let it happen, it's reminds me a little of all the disasters we read about at the moment and global change and we are also sitting back and letting it happen. I like the fact that they found earth and are going to inhabit it, but will the same thing happen again? Really intriguing, a clever idea and very fitting for the times we live it. This is on my shelf. Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

Great stuff! I love the way you describe the awakening at the begining. You also take us straight into the story and then keep us engaged with your easy writing style. Good luck with this. GJ

I didn't think I would like this but your pitch challenged me to read. I agree that it comes at just the right time and you have a wonderful message in this. It makes me want to keep reading.

Missy

Dear LW Samuelson,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. The idea of “aura”-selected euthanasia is chilling, all the more because I feel that all-too-many Americans may “aura fail”. You begin your story with a heady dose of concern over carbon being released for the melting tundra, an observation I appreciated. Then again, I already drive a Prius and avoid eating meat from animals that fart too much methane. In my fallible opinion, you might want to defer particulars like these until later in the narrative and instead focus on accelerating your story with action and sympathy factors. Also, you could make your short pitch resonate more by deleting “Humans fight back. Who will survive? Why?”.

These matters aside, I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Entertaining pacy read, out of my comfort zone offering any advice, so can only sya that I found the writing flows very well and you definitely know how to hold a reader's interest.

Happily backed

Melxx
Impeding Justice

Hey, backed with pleasure! Timely warnings for Mother Gaia, entertaining and surprisingly original.
Good luck. BACKED! Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

I loved this sci-fi. Your endless imagination is put to good use with the worlds you have created. Backed with pleasure, Sana x

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

Sci-fi is not a genre I read to any real extent before I cam e to this site, so I don't feel I can realistically give you any meaningful crit here. But I really did enjoy the chapters I read. You write easily and effortlessly, pulling the reader in with ease. I love this kind of writing, which doesn't need to show off or try to be too clever. Neat premise too - and I like the idea that they are coming to Earth, rather than seeking salvation FROM Earth. Good characterisation - I found myself becoming very fond of Ship, much to my surprise.
As I say, I don't feel qualified to offer advice on this but it seems pretty polished to me and writing-wise I had no nits, nothing that stopped me reading and enjoying.
I'm impressed and very happy to back you with this... Huge good luck. You might make a SF convert of me yet...
Jared (Mummy's Boy)