Book Jacket

 

rank 3154
word count 19426
date submitted 10.02.2010
date updated 14.10.2010
genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Popular Culture...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Sheikh Rattle and Roll

Billie Bates

Ever wondered about the class above first class? VIP air-hostess, Sienna, discovers the proverbial oasis in the desert is often an illusion. Inspired by real-life.

 

Sienna Harris is a small town girl with a penchant for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. A fortuitous chain of events lands her a chance at her own champagne wishes and caviar dreams, flying on the private jet of a Saudi Arabian Prince.
With the glitz and glamour that accompany the job, the ridiculous earning potential, and a hot, flirty aircraft-captain, Sienna quickly embraces her new and exotic life. But an overly critical, looks obsessed chief-stewardess starts to wear Sienna down, and a love interest with a few too many secrets leaves her wondering what's real and what's not in this world of excess.
When Sienna witnesses a disturbing crime, she begins to realize that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.
Sheikh Rattle & Roll is Inspired by real life and resonates with the sassy women’s fiction trend that hints at exposé.

 
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tags

, aviation, chiclit, elite, expoze, flight attendant, fun, funny, glamour, humour, private jet, rags to riches, romance, sassy, women's fiction

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    My life was pretty much perfect.

    Engaged to a gorgeous, charismatic fighter-pilot, my best friend as my room-mate, and a job I totally loved. What more could a girl ask for?

My mum had been an international flight attendant. When she wasn't away on a trip, I remember being put to bed with stories of real-life magical places and faraway lands. So, really, there was never any doubt as to what I'd be when I grew up. 

Okay, so air hostessing wasn’t rocket science. But I wasn't an ordinary air hostess. I was a military, VIP flight attendant, flying our Australian Government around on comfortable business jets. The caliber of my passengers made my job unique and prestigious, while the military aspect kept it challenging. My mum had always said, “There is no greater curse in life than mediocrity. If you're going to do something ordinary, sweetheart, do it in the most extraordinary way possible.”

So I did.

    My future looked rosy. Not quite Life Styles of the Rich and Famous (my one addiction), but a long way from ordinary.

    Yep, I was on top of my game (or so I thought), completely and utterly satisfied.

     That is, until Arizona.

    Not Arizona the State. Arizona the stripper.

                    ***

    I opened the blinds in the living room. Kendi lay passed out on the couch, still in her hipster jeans and tiny tank-top from the night before. She groaned and pulled a cushion over her face.     “What time is it? What the hell are you doing up so early on a Saturday?” she asked.

    “Kendi! Your bedroom’s as close to the front door as the couch is,” I said, confused why she'd choose our lumpy, faded-red sofa over the comfort of a pillow-top mattress.

    “You didn't answer my question,” she mumbled into the cushion.

    “I have a flight today. And it's not early, it's two in the afternoon.” I handed her a bottle of Evian.

Kendi sat up pushing unkempt, golden hair out of her face and downed the entire bottle of water with one chug.     “Really? You’re on the Prime Minister's flight to Perth? Lucky you. Man, I'd kill for four days on the beach right now, might cure my hangover,” she said.

    “Nope, I swapped out with Judy. I'm taking the Defense Minister to Williamtown for two nights.”

    The plan was to surprise Mike. There were only two postings for an active FA18 Hornet pilot, and neither of them were in Canberra, the one and only  posting for a Ministerial flight attendant. I'd reluctantly take a ground position in Williamtown after our wedding, but ten months after our engagement, we still hadn't managed to set a date.

    Kendi found the remote and started flicking through music video channels. “Well, don't gloat about spending the entire time in bed when you get back.” She pouted.

    I rolled my eyes. Kendi was hardly without male attention.

    “I think you do pretty well for yourself, Miss Watson,” I said, “You just think you're too good for the boys in this town.”

    Kendi was a petite size 2 with pretty porcelain-doll features and thick, butt-length blonde hair. For such a small frame, she had unfairly landed herself a 30D bust line.

    “No Sienna, I don't think I'm too good for the boys in this town, I just think I'm too good for this bloody town,” she said.

    I snatched the remote from her lap and flopped onto the couch beside her. “Sorry, Lifestyles is on.” I flicked it over to Robin Leach in a black shirt with a black and silver paisley waistcoat standing in-front of an Olympic size swimming pool. A leopard dozed on a velvet lounger in the background, more drugged than his rockstar owner.

    “No wonder you're so fashion challenged,” Kendi said, getting up off the couch. “You're addicted to the eighties!” She smiled and hit me playfully with her pink pillow.

    “I'm not addicted to the eighties. It's not my fault they haven't made a new episode in fifteen years,” I said.

    “Yes they bloody have. It's called Cribs. MTV. Get with the times.” Kendi winked and tottered off to her bedroom.

    “Poor imitation!” I called after her. I wasn't hooked on gossip mags, I didn't give a crap about who was dating who or what stars looked like without makeup. It fascinated me how the other half lived. What they woke up to each morning. It'd be hard to have a bad day if you woke up to floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the ocean in Hawaii, and had a butler bring you breakfast in bed right before he waxed your board for a morning surf. You wouldn't even need to paddle. He'd push you right to the line-up.

    I spent the next half-hour engrossed in a world I could only ever dream about, and often did. Since I was eight, mum and I had watched it religiously when she wasn't away on a flight. We'd bond over sparkling apple juice in champagne flutes and built castles in the sky. We even had a 'Top Ten' list going for our most-want-to-live destinations. The Leach List. Her number one was Beverly Hills, for the celeb watching. Mine was Maui, for the surf.

    That was until I was twelve. Then my dad died in a fighter-jet crash. 'Aspartame induced flicker vertigo', the coroners report had read. Go figure, diet-Coke killed my dad. Six months later mum met an LA movie producer on a SYD-LAX flight and famously got fired for joining the mile high club with him.

    The good news, for her, was that he married her. The bad news, for me, was that Hank didn't like kids. Aunty Pearl always said Hank was a re-bound husband after the loss of my Dad. But considering she'd dumped me to be with him, I doubted she was that upset about losing either of us. No Purple Heart for that gutless act.

    I stopped taking her calls. All mail hit the trash, unopened.  Pearl was dad's sister, so her loyalties laid with me. For all Pearl's diplomatic comments about it, I'm sure she felt exactly the same way about my mum as I did. She was a selfish, heartless bitch. To this day, people still recognized my last name and asked if I was related to the Flight Attendant who shagged a Yank in-flight.

    “...Champagne wishes and caviar dreams...” Robin Leach closed the episode.

    I got goosebumps, as always. God I love this show.

    I didn't care much for champagne. Not that I'd ever tried the real stuff. According to my Sommelier instructor, back in VIP service training, if it wasn't from the champagne region in France, it wasn't champagne. Thirty bucks or three hundred bucks, I'm sure it all gave you the same headache in the morning. As for Caviar, I tried the leftovers once after a visiting dignitary insisted we have it on-board. I would've got as much enjoyment from a tin of double salted wallaby droppings.

    That said, there was still something in the way 'champagne wishes and caviar dreams' rolled off Robin's tongue that made me think I should want those things more than anything in the world.

    Maybe it was Robin's glossy depiction of the good life that made you feel like everyone else lived the bad life. Or maybe it was because my mother had traded me for a chance at her own Caviar dreams.

     I sighed and turned the TV off. One hour to get ready. Standing in the bathroom, I pulled my dark, shoulder-length hair back into a military standard bun and combed my thick bangs. A brush of mascara and a slick of natural lip sheen, and I was done. In a male-dominant environment we always tip-toed the line between well-groomed and flat out feminine. The term 'Princess' in the Air Force was an insult, not a compliment. This was fine with me, since I'd never been fussed with hours of preening. Luckily I got my dad's olive skin and my mum's high cheekbones.

    I heard the phone ring in the living room.

     Kendi answered it then poked her head around the bathroom door. “Your Aunty Pearl’s on the phone, hon. I'm heading out for a Bloody Mary brunch, can I use the bathroom?”

    “Sure.” I buttoned my crisp blue shirt and pinned my half set of wings above my left breast, identifying me as aircrew.

        I parked on the arm of the couch so my trousers wouldn’t wrinkle. “Aunty Pearl? Hi! What's new?” I asked. I'd moved to tiny Marimnbula to live with Pearl and Stan after cop-out left town. On joining the RAAF, Saturdays became our weekly catch-up day.

    “Not much, darl, how about you? Been anywhere exciting lately? How's that fabulous Prime Minister of ours?” she asked, suggesting I sat down and drank tea with him rather than serve it to him.

    “Flew with him on Wednesday; we had two full days off in Melbourne. They have the best airport hotel there, nearly four stars I reckon.”

    “Well, aren’t you the little jet setter? In my day flying was such a big affair, it was more common to take the train to visit other cities, if one was even to visit another city at all.” She sighed. “And Michael? Any closer to committing to a date yet, darl? You know that engagement ring is only half the battle. Women are pregnant for less time than you’ve been engaged.”

    I cringed. Here we go, I thought. In Pearl’s opinion, if a girl hadn’t closed the deal on marriage within two years of 'courtship', she probably wasn’t going to; I was going on three years with Mike.

     Aunty Pearl also had some warped ideas on what denoted 'good wife material': “Now Sienna, always talk more about them than yourself, always keep yourself in good physical shape, always oblige their intimate needs, and never let them see you without make-up on.”

    This view had gotten worse after Uncle Stan nearly left her six years ago for an Asian reflexologist. Pearl swore it had been because she wasn't giving him enough attention (or herself for that matter). Now that they were both retired she only let him out of her sight for two hours a day; to do her Denise Austin aerobics videos and to put her hair in rollers. She'd also gotten her certificate in reflexology.

     “I'm flying to Williamtown today actually, so we'll probably talk about it over the weekend,” I said, hoping to change the subject.

    “Well good. Make sure you do, darl, Michael’s such a fabulous catch. I saw that new Air Force advertisement on television, you know. He looks so handsome with his helmet tucked under his arm, and that fancy bomber-jet parked in the background... he'll have girls swooning all over him.”

    I choked a giggle. Mike was the new poster boy for the Air Force recruitment campaign. But it was a corny ad, and he bore the brunt of teasing over it from friends as well as strangers. We couldn't get through a night out without someone mimicking him by pumping his fist in the air and shouting: “Air Force! Way to go!”

    “Mike and I are totally in love,” I said, although, comfortably in love was probably a better descriptor. “The only people swooning over him because of that ad will be doe eyed high-school girls.” Doe-eyed high-school girls and Aunty Pearl’s knitting club. “Anyway, tell Uncle Stan I send my love, but I really have to run. Love you!

    “We love you too, sweetheart. Say a big ‘hi’ to the Prime Minister from your Aunt and Uncle, you can tell him we voted for him, both times,” she said, with a patriotism usually reserved for war heroes and Americans.

                        ***

        Our Falcon 900 business jets could seat twelve, but usually we averaged two to six pax. This day I only had the Defense Minister and the Chief of Air Force. Judy had jumped at the chance to swap onto the Prime Minister's flight. Flying with the Defense Minister often meant staying at a military base; not quite the 3-4 star hotels we were used to as VIP Hosties. I'd stay at Mike's town-house, so thankfully I’d get to pass on the musty, on-base rooms with their mildewy, communal showers.

    On arrival to Williamtown Air Force base, A.K.A the Hornet’s Nest, I passed the passengers their luggage and saluted them off. Over the thunderous rumble of FA18 Hornets above, I reminded the pilots I'd be staying off base with Mike.

    “No worries, Harris. Say G'day to him for us. Mike's a good bloke; would love to catch up with him for a beer one of these days.”

    Fighter pilots were to standard pilots what we girls were to commercial flight attendants, the top tier.

    But then, not to appear too kiss-arse, they followed it up with an air punch and, “Air Force! Way to go!”

    Like that wasn't wearing thin.

    In the cab on my way to Mike's, I released my tight knot of hair and massaged my scalp. It was sweet relief. Mike still didn’t know I was is town, so I dialed his number to make sure he was home. If he hadn't come down with a cold this weekend, he would've driven up to Canberra to stay with me. The weekend before, he'd been issued some last minute flight scheduling. I was really missing him.

    “Sie Sie, hey sweet thing, what's going down?” Mike was thirty five, thirteen years older than me, much to uncle Stan's chagrin. He never acted it, though. Most of his mates were younger than him, which spoke for his maturity level. Not that I cared. Growing up in Marimbula didn't exactly make me worldly or wise. Although, I could definitely do with less fart jokes.

    “Hey babe, just checking in with you. Feeling any better?” I asked.

    “Not a whole lot. Rugged up on the couch watching Dvds.”

     Top Gun, probably. He watched it three times a week; even named his wiener Maverick (“Maverick's coming in to land, baby” “Oh yeah, Maverick's firing his Seek And Destroy!”). 

Good. You should rest. Get better so you can come and keep me warm in crappy Canberra, I said.

    “Now that sounds like something worth getting better for, sugarpop.”

    We said our goodbyes. Five minutes later, the taxi pulled up in the drive next to Mike's black Nisan 350Z. Beyonce’ was blaring from the living room. Beyonce’? I usually couldn't get him to listen to anything but AC/DC or the soundtrack to Top Gun; Our first night together was spent with Danger Zone alternating with Thunderstruck in the background.

    I stepped through the front door to his town-house and called over the music, “Mike? It's me babe, where are you?”

    I needn't have asked.

    Mike was sitting in the living room in his boxers, his hands behind his back in fluffy pink handcuffs while a flame-haired Amazonian, complete with leopard print thong, gyrated on his lap to Crazy in Love.

    I was half way through the door with my hand still on the door knob and my jaw on the floor. My first thought was that I'd just seen my first pair of bare, silicone tits. Not a common sight in the circles we hung with.

    Mike was just as stunned, but he didn't look nearly as worried as I thought he should have. “Sie, what are you doing here?” he asked.

My stomach lurched into my throat.

    Big Red got of his lap, bored, but didn't attempt to clothe herself or to un-cuff him. She switched off the music with the remote, looked me up and down (or just down, considering she was nearly 6ft tall), and swaggered to the bedroom. “Let me know when you’re done,” she called over her shoulder.

    “Sienna, it's not what it looks like,” Mike said.

    “That's original.” So my eyes must be mistaking me that I just walked in on you getting a lap dance? I wanted to say, but the bile build up in my mouth only let me swallow.

    He took a deep breath. “Sie, can you un-cuff me? Then we can talk. The keys are over there on the coffee table.” He nodded in the direction of the table; a gift from me.

     If I weren't so shocked I could've found his situation amusing. In a daze, I inched over to the table.

    He took my silence as a cue to continue. “Arizona is a stripper, okay, but it's not as sleazy as it looks. We're old friends.

I thought about activities a I partook in with my old friends. Lap dancing wasn’t one of them.

  There's no easy way to say this, sugarpop,” he continued, “I think we’re in love.”

    My heart stopped.

    I didn't know which would've been more insulting, that he was paying another woman to gyrate on his groin, or that he was in love with another woman who was gyrating on his groin.

    The blood that had drained from my face returned with full force. “You're in love? You’re still calling her by her stage name and you think you’re in love? You have a $20,000 ring on another girl's finger, and you think you're in love?” I said, my voice not nearly matching my internal meltdown.

    “Sienna, I'm so sorry, babe, this is hard for me too you know. I guess the heart just wants what the heart wants...”

    I stared at his bound and pathetic-self and had an overwhelming urge to kick the chair from beneath him. “No Michael, in your case I think the dick just wants what the dick wants.” 

A lipstick caught my eye on the table. I picked it up and examined the base. Final Seduction, how appropriate. Mike sat jaw clenched as I wrote the word DICK across his forehead in Hooker Red then turned and walked out the door. “I'm keeping the ring,” I called over my shoulder as I left.

                            ***

    I don't know if it was disgust or denial that kept me from crying, but I headed back to the Air Force base in a numb silence.

    It wasn't until I'd picked up my bed linen from the guard box, yep, to add salt to the wound I'd have to make my own bed, and had settled in to my dingy room, that the tears finally broke through my bravado. It was short-lived but a good release. On regaining my composure, I called Aunty Pearl.

    “Hi ya Pearl, it's me.” I lay back on my squeaky bed, a spring digging in to my shoulder blade.

    “Sienna? Hi love. Whatever are you doing calling me on a Saturday night? I thought you'd be wining and dining with Michael by now. Is everything okay, dear?”

    I gulped and wondered if I should have called Kendi instead. “Ah, no, every thing's not okay actually. I just found Mike with another woman.”

I didn't know what I was expecting. Sympathy maybe, empathy?

    There was a long pause before she spoke. “Sienna, this might come across as a little harsh, darl, but have you let yourself go lately? I only say that from experience, sweetheart.” Her voice held genuine condolence.

    Oh sure, Aunty Pearl. I ate a second bowl of ice-cream for desert last week, skipped one of my morning runs, and now Mike's leaving me for a stripper.

    “Pearl, I'm still a size 6. Mike's just a major jerk who had me fooled for the last three years.” If I wasn't going to get reassurance from her, then I'd have to give it to myself. Convincing or not.

    “Well Sienna, I'm afraid that's your first problem right there, darl. You just don't understand men. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, you know. When I first-”

     “Sorry, could you hold for just a second?” I put my hand over the mouth piece, closed my eyes, and bit my lower lip. I can not do this right now. Taking a deep breath, I fought back the quiver in my voice. “Sorry Pearl, my Commanding Officer is on the other line, there might be a flight change. We'll talk soon. Bye.” I hung up without waiting for her reply, feeling even more deflated than I had before I'd called.

    Kendi. She'll have some words of wisdom for me. Or else she'd tell me to go out and get good and drunk, and good and laid. I dialed her number.

    She answered, but I could only just make her out over a rowdy crowd and a rock-band. “Hello? Sie? I can't really hear you, hon. I'm at the Ballistics concert at the Uni bar. Do you want to text me instead?”

    “No worries, I'll do that.”

    “Sorry, what did you say?” she yelled.

    I yelled back, “No worries! I'll text you. Have fun!” I wasn't about to get into the details over text, so I sent a message to say: just calling for a chat. Have fun. Speak soon x

    I'm not sure if it was the lingering words of my aunt, or the lingering vision of Arizona's tiny waistline and lean limbs, but I spent the rest of my Saturday night pounding out six miles on the treadmill of the Hornet's Nest gymnasium.

                    ***   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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DMR wrote 760 days ago

Sheikh Rattle & Roll - first of all - what a great title! the title itself made me laugh and intrigued me enough to have a look inside - this is chick lit for the intelligent - breezy with touches of intrigue and a main character you just can't help but root for.. Sienna is a fighter, that comes through loud and clear and I can't wait to read more and find out how her adventure unfolds.. they do say that good things come from 'bad' events.. I think Sheikh Rattle & Roll has the makings of a best selling girlie novel - Backed !

Andrew Burans wrote 758 days ago

You had me in the first three paragraphs. A modern self analysis with someone who is self-absorbed with just the right amount od foreshadowing so the reader knows that things are about to change. Great character development and the dialogue is tight and it flows. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

greeneyes1660 wrote 742 days ago

Billie, This is wonderful..I love the orginal story line and the humor. I love your characters and poor sie thinking shes a cow at a size six. Your descrpitive writing is wonderful and the fantasy world you share is a wonderful way to travel.

I love all the main characters and their traits. They are well rounded and have enough depth that we are drawn into the roles they play in this well written perfectly paced tail filled with love, friendship and jet set existence.

I am only sorry this is not a complete work, as it left me wanting more..Backed and would gladly purchase Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

M D Eyler wrote 738 days ago

Sheikh Rattle and Roll is a wildly fun read. Any woman could slip right into this book for a great adventure! I like that the MC is intelligent. MDEyler

Fabrice Stuyvesant wrote 752 days ago

This is great, it's such a relief to be in the hands of a confident capable storyteller with a natural, comfortable and 'lived in' knowledge of the world being described. (unlike some of the heavy handed, unnecessarily complicated and unbelievable dribble on this site which is such hard work to read).

I relish this stuff, the part where Sie goes "you still call her by her stage name but you love her?" had me laughing out loud. Also I like how you describe women (by their dress sizes etc), men don't know about that stuff but still I get a crystal clear picture of the person you're describing. Can't believe you didn't like the shooting range in chapter 2! As an ex infantry guy I miss the smell of cordite every day of my life but it's funny to imagine Sienna feeling like a fish out of water on a rifle range. Also I like how you describe women I've read chapters 1 and 2 so far but this will be on my shelf for a while, at least until I've read all of it.

The chapters seem quite long (as in you might consider chopping into smaller parts) but maybe that's because I'm reading it on my laptop. The facebook and twitter generation have trouble reading lengthy blocks of text and undeniably part of your target audience will be FB and twitter aficionados. Also it might be fun to give each chapter a title as if they are rock songs. In terms of content I can't come up with any constructive criticism because I can't fault it, it's well crafted and you've clearly spent a lot of time going over the prose.

And what about that great cover? Who did that for you? Best of luck with this, you'll do very well with it.
Fabrice

Hulykulani wrote 212 days ago

Works for me! But who am I kidding; I'm just an illusion of a member. I'm actually testing the ranking system with comments like this...

Although I'm sure your book is actually quite good. Anyway, everyone can go look the other way. I was never here.

RichardBard wrote 279 days ago

Hi Billie!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

plip wrote 695 days ago

Stampman review, or an attempt at least; not much constructive criticism to offer, since your story unfolds in a very believable and straightforward style, with no obvious language, spelling, or grammar problems. Your characters all come across very clearly, with a perceptive and honest narrator as your M.C.
One suggestion might be to have her physical description in dialogue with one of her friends - that is her friend could counter a self-deprecating remark with praise of her 'good points', rather than have her describe herself.
I find the way in which she and Kendi jump at the new job without much investigation quite believable & typical behaviour for their age, as are their lives and attitudes in general.
well done.
phil

CarolinaAl wrote 701 days ago

Clever premise. Sienna is likable and well-rounded. Your descriptions are effective. For example, your description of Kendi. You enrich your narrative with apt similies such as 'like a peanut shell that had been crushed into a dirty barroom floor.' Your conversations flow naturally and drive your story. Your wit is hilarious. Your pacing kept me riveted.

Nits:
1) 'Big Red got of his lap.' 'Of' should be 'off.'
2) "Good morning darlings." Comma after 'morning.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas. There are more cases of this type of problem.

This is utterly captivating Chick Lit. Backed.

M. A. McRae. wrote 726 days ago

Stampman Group Review.
You have an MC full of personality. Her voice is strong. I especially like that she has a healthy dose of cynicism, and the wickedly amusing way the scene with Mike is described. You've written Sienna in first person, and you have written her well. The only awkwardness was when you wanted to describe her. 'I pulled my dark, shoulder-length hair back etc.' It sounds awkward, but this is just one of several problems that writing in 1st person gives rise to.
Your problems are mainly in your presentation. The font is unpleasant to read, and in several chapters, including the first, there is a thick vertical line instead of inverted commas around dialogue. It's an irritation and a distraction, so really needs tending to. There are several typos which I'll put in a separate message for fixing, but I'd mention one thing here, that when you're referring to particular people as "Mum' and Dad,' it's like using proper nouns. They should have a capital. I enjoyed this book, and have backed it. Marj.

Cherry G. wrote 728 days ago

SHEIKH RATTLE AND ROLL Chapters 1 to 17. A Stampman's Group Review.
Your first sentence is captivating. "My life was pretty much perfect". Oh dear! That's a sure sign things are going to go wrong.
The dialogue and relationship between the two friends feels fresh and believable. You quickly make Sienna a character the reader cares about. She is fascinated by the idea of the good life, but she is still a likeable young woman who cares about people and feels insecure at times. She's got a sense of humour and is able to joke about herself with her friend , Kensi.
Her discovery of Mike with Arizona was a great scene. I say scene, because I'm beginning to imagine this made into a film. Then comes the temptation of the Saudi Arabian job offer. You clearly know your stuff here, because it feels authentic, as if it really could happen like that. I was feeling uneasy at this stage, wondering if the girls were getting into something they couldn't cope with. THey seemed to know so little about it. (I realise why they don't find out more...they are just so desperate for this to be the way into the "good life.")
This is the aspect that keep me reading: I wanted to know how Sienna and Kensi would be treated and what exactly they would have to do for their fabulous wages and luxury lifestyle.
You use your knowledge of the job well as you describe their induction into the roles on the plane. Paula is a convincing character and from the start I'm concerned she'll stamp om Sierra's fragile self confidence. Her statements about clothes size etc are straight from the modelling industry. and a warning to us all. When she told Sienna to take diuretics and the "herbal" remedy, the alarm bells rang. She's away from home (not that Auntie Pearl was much good as a confidence builder) and trapped either within the confines of the prince's palace or his holiday destinations. She is not mixing with anyone outside the need to look beautiful crowd. She was easily influenced and fooled by Mike, so I'm not sure she can withstand the pressure to conform with Paula and the "artifical beauty Nazis."
Ted seems genuine at first , but then Sienna discovers he's the captain. He's interested in her, though any relationship between the two of them will be disapproved of by Paula and the Prince. You leave us in no doubt that Paula and the prince have total control over the whole lives of the staff. They will have to conform completely. THe talk of the lipo sculture is scary, especailly when Paula says "It's never too soon to start maintaining." At least Sienna has Kensi to support her horror at the idea, but I'm still not convinced she'll be able to withstand the pressure and why is Ted so interested in her? He mentions her innocence once..is he planning to use her in some way?
It feels sinister now. Instead of the good life, we see control freaks and "stick insects" . Everywhere there is talk of being thin and beautiful. Nothing else seems to matter.
Luke, the personal trainer seems geniune and Sienna enjoys talking to him, but when he is called from the party ( perhaps by someone trying to get him away from her?) Sienna ends up with Ted again.
Sienna thinks she's in love with Ted and he seems fine with her when he's alone, except he does make comments about her not being thin . You also slip in that Sienna's appetite is being supressed by tablets. This is not a good sign and the reader realises she's endangering her health and risking her life,.
.Candice's revelation about Ted being married comes as a shock.. Now Sierra is feeling guilty and used. You write about her confusion very well. She tries to justify her affair to herself and to Kensi when she hears about the wife being hit by a bus, though Kensi isn't convinced. However Kensi may have her own problems. She's kissed the prince and Candice warns that this might be dangerous. You leave the reader to think about what the danger might be.
At the end of Chapter 17, Sierra is so distressed and underconfident after falling out with both Kensi and Ted (and hearing Ted's wife on the phone) that she asks Paula for advice about procedures to improve her looks. This is going to turn bad, isn't it?
This is an absorbing story which was enjoyable to read. It's fast moving and yet you manage to give the characters depth and we learn a fair amount about Saudi culture and the way the woman behave in the shopping malls, once they are out of view of the men. You got a lot of intrigue to keep our interest too. I would have continued to read if more chapters had been uploaded.
I think this has a great chance of being publshed. It concerns a dream many people have in respect of the affluent life style and mixing with celebrities. But it looks at the darker side of that culture and what happens when there's an obession with appearance and luxury...all done with a great storyline and much humour.
Only one minor nitpic which is probably only due to uploading difficulties on this site. Your font isn't always clear and your quotation marks are sometimes unusual. Easily remedied.
I have backed this. Well done and I wish you luck with it. (loved the title, by the way!)
Cherry
The Girl From Ithaca

Bill Scott wrote 730 days ago

Stampman Group
If I was a teenage girl, I imagine , my friends and I would be devouring this and gossiping about it in the cafeteria. It’s fun light reading which believe me is my thing.

I struggle with lots of things in my writing. You do two things that I am trying to get away from myself. Nothing major really. The over use of dialogue tags- she said, she asked, etc. If there are only two people in a scene, often it is quite obvious by the character voice who is saying what. Especially in your case because the characters are strong. The other thing is along the same line, unnecessary explanation,--
“Buttoned crisp blue shirt and pinned my half set of wings above my breast.” I knew exactly what she was doing by this description, it seemed to be over explaining to add “identifying me as aircrew”

Loved the line - “although comfortably in love was probably a better description.”

I laughed at “named his wiener Maverick, ‘Maverick coming in for a landing” then cringed a bit a Maverick firing his seek and destroy” but that’s a good thing. I feel like I know exactly who this guy is after reading this--someone who would make me cringe a bit.

Big fun.

Best of Luck
Keep writing
WSS
HAKTAW HEART

Marigold Blue wrote 732 days ago

Billie--I LOVED the first chapter and will definitely keep reading. Your writing is clear, witty, descriptive, real...this is a sure bet for publishing.
One small suggestion, take it for what it's worth: Consider ending the chapter either when she walks in the door and finds Michael in cuffs, or when she writes on his forehead and walks out. Either of them have more punch than the gym, and will make the reader HAVE to turn the page. You can still use that last part in the next chapter.
This really is great stuff. I'll keep reading.
Marigold Blue

StampMan wrote 732 days ago

Hi.
This is a fizzy, fast paced, breeze of a Chick Lit novel. Nice bits of info mixed with humour, and tales of jet-set life for us mere landlubbers. I don't normally read Chick Lit - but this one was a breeze to read some of - so for fans of the genre, I bet they'd love it. H&C and agents had better pay attention to it - or they might miss out.

Best of luck with it - may it hit the stratosphere.

--- I'm sorry I can't be of much help - I'm out of my depth - and I can't see anything obviously wrong with your style/grammar etc. I've resolved to review all the books in the Stampman group - especially those of the nice people who read mine, so this is just to let you know that I've read some of it. Thanks.

Ccastle wrote 734 days ago

Great pitch and I really like the title - I'm here for a Stampman Unsullied Review. I'll come back ina bit when I've read more - first things first though.... serious problems with the formatting on this. Is there anything you can do? You certainly can't submit it to agents in this format.... strange font too. Normally UK agents want left aligned, double spaced, 12pt Times New Roman. If it isn't in that, they won't read it....

I'll be back.

Cx

M D Eyler wrote 738 days ago

Sheikh Rattle and Roll is a wildly fun read. Any woman could slip right into this book for a great adventure! I like that the MC is intelligent. MDEyler

nakiacap wrote 739 days ago

Enjoyable from the time you start until you finish. Best Wishes

NJ Capaldi
Crescent Heart

Su Dan wrote 740 days ago

this is written in an original style. using dialogue to the full...well done...
su dan;- read SEASONS...

DDickson wrote 741 days ago

I like to comment as I read, just my thoughts as if I was in a book shop. I don’t crit grammar or anything like that much. I have been doing it this way for a while and it seems to work OK and it’s fun.

Sheikh Rattle and Roll

I like your cover but I have to admit that I think your title is cringe making.

Although the writing is great you have a couple of technical problems, I am sure you must know about them and I have to admit that they are a bit distracting. The strange black lines are very odd indeed and I am not that keen on your font.

Your dialogue is good and the flow and pace are great. The lifestyle that you are describing sounds exciting and your MC is already appealing and likeable. She is modern, tough and self reliant and all the other good things that we all want to be.

I think that this is great fun, you obviously know the subject and enjoy writing about it all and I have to say that it did make me feel a bit nostalgic for our days in Saudi – heigh ho – happy days. I will back this and wish you the very best of luck with it – Diane

delhui wrote 742 days ago

Dear Billie -- Great pitch and great opening chapter! Sienna's voice has such authenticity, whether she's talking about her job, her dad being killed by Diet Coke (I loved that!) or worrying about the tornado about to hit her life in the form of Arizona. Looking forward to reading mroe as time permits, but backing on the strength of your excellent opening. -- J and B, The Long Black Veil

greeneyes1660 wrote 742 days ago

Billie, This is wonderful..I love the orginal story line and the humor. I love your characters and poor sie thinking shes a cow at a size six. Your descrpitive writing is wonderful and the fantasy world you share is a wonderful way to travel.

I love all the main characters and their traits. They are well rounded and have enough depth that we are drawn into the roles they play in this well written perfectly paced tail filled with love, friendship and jet set existence.

I am only sorry this is not a complete work, as it left me wanting more..Backed and would gladly purchase Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the Heart

mvw888 wrote 745 days ago

Engaging style, entertaining characters, a great set-up in terms of her job and its possibility for stories. I do think that the chapters read a bit long and for your genre, I think this would be better in smaller doses. I think it would help the comic pace a bit. All in all, polished writing and very well done. I could see this being passed around amongst girlfriends.
---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

JMCornwell wrote 745 days ago

Nits: Tendency to use hyphens when not needed and not using them when needed. Silver Service should not be hyphenated and it should be written the same way every time.
Numbers should be spelled out, except for dates, KPH/MPH, time, etc. 1960s should be abbreviated '60s and not 60's. A woman in her 40's should be forties. Size six, four, etc.
Commas before and after a name when the person is being addressed. Well, darling, it's like this...
town-house = town house -- no hyphen. or townhouse. Go through with a fine-tooth nit comb and pick all the nits. Need a thorough read and edit.
ain't
filet mignon
Royal Doulton china not Dalton
fewer fart jokes, not less.

Okay, now that the nits have been picked, on to the good stuff. Sienna's voice comes over loud and clear with just enough snark and humor to be utterly interesting. She's fully three-dimensional with all quirks intact. I like her take on things and her very individual way of seeing things. Her friend is just as clearly drawn and fascinating. This is a world few people ever know about. The information is seeded in carefully without being too big a dump and does not impede the flow of the story. Most of all, even though this is a territory not explored by the average person, it comes off as real and really good. All the characters are fully drawn and as individual as Sienna and Kendi. Michael is a jerk, but the kind of jerk most women have met at one time or another. There was one problem with the seen where Sienna finds him with the Amazon, Tacky Jacky, and that's when she's talking about getting the handcuff keys from the table. The way it's written makes it seem like she gave Michael the handcuff keys and not the table. And it is handcuffs and not hand-cuffs.

Ramsgatered wrote 747 days ago

Very professional - but I am no expert in this genre.

Rakhi wrote 747 days ago

Fun, Fun, Funny! Simply a delight to read, I will have to keep this in my watchlist to visit often and hopefully you will post it all. You have created a great character in Sienna and you write with a deep knowledge of the profession. This book is so refreshing and amusing, it lightened my day.
Backed earlier and will keep on reading till the end.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

eloraine wrote 747 days ago

Really a great easy read perfect for your target audience. It's on my WL and I'll move it up as soon as I have room. Hope you will check out Royal Blood Chronicles thanks. E. Loraine

lisawb wrote 747 days ago

Well written, very amusing at times, and makes for such a pleasant read with enough going on to engage the reader. Sienna is a great character and the story comes across as authentic. The cover is good and this makes a good book which is worth backing.

best of luck with it,

Lisa

Wilma1 wrote 748 days ago

You tantalise you tease. I wanted to meet the Sheikh now I didnt want to hold back it was going to be Omar Sharieff and Grace Kelly all over again. You didnt dissapoint Well written loved the bittler sweet start. Good Luck with it.

Sue
Knowing Liam Riley PS Hope you take a look x

Papilio wrote 748 days ago

Chapter 11.

This is a well written chapter with plenty of rich things going on. Getting drunk is never a good thing and she was lucky he behaved himself. Happy to abck.

Anthony
Aqua Omega

Kieron wrote 750 days ago

Not exactly my type of book but for its genre this is a thouroughly enjoyable read, and worth backing.

Kieron Dowling (Outback Encounter)

Raven Scott wrote 750 days ago

SHEIK RATTLE AND ROLL: Zap! I have been hit between the eyes when I wasn't expecting it. Great read, very special use of dialogue and a plot that zips along. Very funny and great MC. I like a book that is both light and yet full of detail. You are a great storyteller with an ability to handle the greatest tool we have, the written word.
One small point. I would be tempted to split your long pitch into shorter sharper paragraphs. (It is something I had to do when I first posted my book on site). A casual browser will be drwan in by sharper pitches. You don't have to use less words...just make them easier to follow.
backed with joy
Raven Scott

Nikki B wrote 751 days ago

Enjoyable reading! Backed!

crazy mama wrote 751 days ago

This is well written and easy to tead. Makes you want to come back for more. i like it. Backed

Fabrice Stuyvesant wrote 752 days ago

This is great, it's such a relief to be in the hands of a confident capable storyteller with a natural, comfortable and 'lived in' knowledge of the world being described. (unlike some of the heavy handed, unnecessarily complicated and unbelievable dribble on this site which is such hard work to read).

I relish this stuff, the part where Sie goes "you still call her by her stage name but you love her?" had me laughing out loud. Also I like how you describe women (by their dress sizes etc), men don't know about that stuff but still I get a crystal clear picture of the person you're describing. Can't believe you didn't like the shooting range in chapter 2! As an ex infantry guy I miss the smell of cordite every day of my life but it's funny to imagine Sienna feeling like a fish out of water on a rifle range. Also I like how you describe women I've read chapters 1 and 2 so far but this will be on my shelf for a while, at least until I've read all of it.

The chapters seem quite long (as in you might consider chopping into smaller parts) but maybe that's because I'm reading it on my laptop. The facebook and twitter generation have trouble reading lengthy blocks of text and undeniably part of your target audience will be FB and twitter aficionados. Also it might be fun to give each chapter a title as if they are rock songs. In terms of content I can't come up with any constructive criticism because I can't fault it, it's well crafted and you've clearly spent a lot of time going over the prose.

And what about that great cover? Who did that for you? Best of luck with this, you'll do very well with it.
Fabrice

PatrickArmstead wrote 754 days ago

Hi Billie,

Obviously, this is not my usual kind of read, being chick lit and such. But I found the story structured very well with excellent dialogue. I can easily see how popular this will be in its genre. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

A. Zoomer wrote 755 days ago

Total escape and fun. Backed.
A zoomer
Going Out In Style

Kieron wrote 758 days ago

Cheeky enough to back. Nicely written and I wish you luck. Kieron.

Andrew Burans wrote 758 days ago

You had me in the first three paragraphs. A modern self analysis with someone who is self-absorbed with just the right amount od foreshadowing so the reader knows that things are about to change. Great character development and the dialogue is tight and it flows. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Lady Midnight wrote 758 days ago

The opening chapter is excellent. The narrative is evenly paced, tightly focused and the dialogue naturalistic. The narrator's quirky sense of humour comes over well: A leopard dozed on a ...lounger, more drugged than his rockstar owner. ...from a tin of double salted wallaby droppings...she'd also gotten her certificate in reflexology. and the narrator's sense of betrayal over her mother's departure: no purple heart for that gutless, act says it all.

Just a few teeny tiny nitpicks. The dashes you use in place of inverted commas to denote speech are really distracting - is there a reason for this? The sentence...so her loyalties (laid) with me, I think it should be: 'lay' with me. Finally a typo in the sentence: It fascinated (me) how the other half lives - you appear to have missed out the 'me'.

This is a really good opening with huge potential and I wish you the very best of luck with it.

DMR wrote 760 days ago

Sheikh Rattle & Roll - first of all - what a great title! the title itself made me laugh and intrigued me enough to have a look inside - this is chick lit for the intelligent - breezy with touches of intrigue and a main character you just can't help but root for.. Sienna is a fighter, that comes through loud and clear and I can't wait to read more and find out how her adventure unfolds.. they do say that good things come from 'bad' events.. I think Sheikh Rattle & Roll has the makings of a best selling girlie novel - Backed !

Christina McClean wrote 764 days ago

A fascinating look into the life of an air hostess. The struggle to keep up an image, polished and professional. The dreadful fear that many of us have - being cheated, on written expertly and convincingly. Life is as dangerous as the jungle for women and this is said nicely.

Happily backed
Christina

Christina McClean wrote 764 days ago

A fascinating look into the life of an air hostess. The struggle to keep up an image, polished and professional. The dreadful fear that many of us have - being cheated, on written expertly and convincingly. Life is as dangerous as the jungle for women and this is said nicely.

Happily backed
Christina

zan wrote 765 days ago

Sheikh Rattle and Roll
Billie Bates

This is a nice match for the chick lit market - disappointing reality regarding her cheating ex, the two-timing Michael, but with the promise of her own wishes and caviar dreams possibly coming though. Yet, if something seems too good to be true, it usually is, and the proverbial oasis in the desert is most often an illusion. I like the pull of these elements promised at the end of your long pitch. Impressive popular fiction with a difference and I enjoyed what I read so far - the writing seems polished to me and your plot, setting, characters all come out of a wonderfully creative mind. Would love to own a copy of this when in print simply to enjoy reading at length during those hot summer days lazing on the beach.
Best,
Zan

Andy M. Potter wrote 765 days ago

Nice one Billie! on my shelf.
i could send only accolades but here's a very TINY editing thought.
i think you can delete some of your dialog tags as it's often clear who's speaking without them.

e.g.:
".No Sienna, I don't think ... too good for this bloody town,. she said" - i wonder if you need the "she said" ?

alright, enough picky stuff. this is a fine and pacey read.
best, andy

Foretuneight wrote 768 days ago

I did not spot an error and i wanted to keep reading. I really liked this. Your opening sets up the fall and you show the grind and dreams driving the career and down play the perks. The stripper scene was over the top.LOL.

Charater believable - check.
Plot relateabe - check,
Pace fast and easy - check,
Well written - check,
MC Sympathetic - check,
Comic scenes and dialogue mixed with pathos - check,
Supporting chrarcters have depth - check,
All sytems go, flight attendants prepare for take off....

jackieley wrote 769 days ago

This is an engaging read. I like it's pacey, laid back style and the fact that you obviously have first hand experience of the flight crew world you're writing about . I was a little confused about why Siena walked in on Mike with his stripper when her phone call should have alerted him. Perhaps a bit of clarification is needed about why he wasn't expecting her. I also felt that Siena's great exit line about keeping the engagement ring should have closed the chapter. But all in all, you've set up an interesting scenario and a sassy mc. I look forward to reading more. Backed. Jackie (Gift of Sparrows)

toussaint wrote 770 days ago

[return backing ☼☼☼]

I don’t know how long the chapter is, but I’m going to bail out at the lipstick. I’m not really into chick lit, but I did like this. I think it’s Sienna’s character and the wonderful 1st person narration which carried me through this. I liked the build up to the discovery of Mike with Arizona. That scene was very entertaining. I liked his pet name for his weiner as well. Nice touch! I think this is absolutely perfect for your market and is doing deservedly well. I did find the formatting a bit idiosyncratic and would have preferred fewer italics and normal quotation marks. Other than that, I’m backing this. And thanks for backing Bokassa, sorry I’ve taken so long.

mariecapri wrote 772 days ago

Lots of lessons to be learned from your story. Sienna's character comes to life and your description is good. Best of luck with it!

PatriciaMae wrote 773 days ago

I love Arizona! So funny so far, can't wait to read more!

K

SusieGulick wrote 773 days ago

Dear Billie, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed both of my books. :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" & "commented" on your book, I came to your "comment" page to help it advance more. I will also put it on my "watchlist" to hopefully help it move up (everytime someone comments/backs my book, it moves up).
Love, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 774 days ago

Dear Billie, What a story! ( It happened to me 6 times, as you will see in my 2 books listed below. I love fiction based on fact because I need to know that it doesn't only happen to me. Your story is very tender - a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing/commenting on your book to help it advance. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to back/comment on my TWO books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories." Thanks, Susie :)

Esrevinu wrote 775 days ago

Billie I enjoyed your interesting writing style. You have a very strong opening; your descriptive writing is exciting and it was very easy to be caught up and drawn into the story I thought your strength is in your MC, which is well developed, displaying insecurities, hopes, and dreams.
Great storytelling
Best wishes
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Anna Pescardot wrote 776 days ago

I love this. It is a perfect chick lit book with humour and likeable characters. I like your plot too. In fact I like everything about this and I am happy to give it a run on my shelf. Good luck with it.

Best Wishes

Anna
Always the Bridesmaid

Marija F.Sullivan wrote 778 days ago

This is a marvelous read. Imaginative, amusing, great dialogue. Well done!
Backed of course.
M (Weekend Chimney Sweep)

BagpussBag wrote 778 days ago

This is a super book. I loved everything, your cover, especially your title, I loved the teaser which made me excited to read the first chapter which didn't let down. Really, fun and well wrote. I've skipped through chapters to see how your story is going later on and that didn't let down either so, backed! I will read the whole thing now:)

Well done
BPB

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