Presumed Killed

Fabulous! This has everything I look for in good historical writing. Time travel writing, I call it, where I am transported back to walk among and eavesdrop real peoples' lives. And these characters are real, so beautifully crafted, their world so evocatively realised. The gauche innocence of those young people, on the brink of horrors beyond their wildest imaginations, the exhortations to war from old men in no danger of being caught up with the conflict. All well known World War One themes, yet rendered fresh, powerful and compelling by the writer's seemingly effortless skill with story telling and portraying real emotions.
This is an exceptional book, one that deserves to do well. I would love to see it as required reading in secondary schools...as an example of wonderful writing, for the accurate portrayal of tragic years and as a sadly still topical read
Shelved with the greatest pleasure and respect

Oh, but this is good. I read Chs 1, 13 ,21 and couldn't resist peeking at the last chapter. I don't need to tell the author how well he can write. That's evident to anyone who reads the first couple of lines. Other authors flashed thro' my mind as I read...Graves, Sassoon, Faulks...but this is a unique voice in full flow. The book is clearly a labour of love. It starts with an evocation of a lost Edwardian England that the reader knows is going to be lost for ever. It is very poignant. The book is also very timely, given the existing wars we've been dragged into and deserves to be published for that reason alone. The author must make sure it happens. Backed.

Wow, Steven. This is a beautifully written book. I love character driven stories, so it was like this was written for me. You take us effortlessly to the past, and you don't hit us over the head with the history, or the things we should know about the time period. It's weaved into the story, the way that it should be. You don't tell us. You show us. It's the right way to do it. A few of the terms were a little out of my league, myself not being British, but it didn't get in the way at all. As a matter of fact, I think I got it!
I think the most important thing you did here was make the characters human. It sounds so easy to do, and is always difficult to accomplish. You did it flawlessly.
I love this book.

Shelved with pleasure.

Charley
"5ive Speed"

Steven,

I was immediately carried away by the beauty of your prose; the imagery, the lyricism, the description, the characterisation - when it suddenly dawned on me that I had almost been blinded to the even more important fact that here was a novel that was not only superb literary fiction but a spell-binding page-turning tear-jerking must-read novel.

In other words, one that will satisfy readers who want to bask in luminous literary language, and at the same time be transported to a world of drama, romance, emotion, misery and all the other ingredients that make up a universal best-seller.

Just what publishers are looking for.

On my shelf with the greatest of pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Ravages of war have no limit. Beautiful, compelling, epic. BACKED -Elizabeth Wolfe (Memories of Glory)

Hi Steven, folk have said it all already. Nothing to do but back it. Red arrow? Ridiculous.
Good luck, Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

Beautiful imagery, excellent prose bith narrative and descriptive.

Superbly written.

Great story!

Backed.

Finished it. I enjoyed the story and I found it quite poignant in places. Good how it started with a generation looking forward to the 'adventure' of a war, and it finished with the next generation in a similair anticipation. Mankind has learnt so much but never abhorence of war. Good luck with it, buddy.

I backed this sometime ago, mostly on the recommendation of Louise Galvin. Hadn't realised I had not yet commented. Your solid journalistic skills shine through. There is virtually nothing to criticise and even then it's only a matter of personal taste. This is the sort of story which I hope shall always find a place on any bookshelf. The tragedy of an entire generation must not and will not be forgotten.
David
Bailey of the Saints

I think that anyone who writes about the First World War is either courageous or reckless. In your case, Steven, I think that you are courageous and that this is building into a fascinating story - accurate, precisely detailed, not over-told as is always tempting, avoiding caricature while faithfully reflecting attitudes of the time which have become absurd from our revisionist perspective. I would normally avoid WW1 novels to about the same extent as I would avoid enlisting for the war itsel, but there have been some excellent ones that have transcended our hackneyed impressions of the shells, mud, trenches, rats, machine guns, whistles, executions etc. and my guess is that this will be one of them. Backed.

Here we have another piece of literary fiction that makes me feel utterly inadequate. The descriptions are beautiful, and everything takes me into the moment.

“… her breath like buttered toast …” This made me smile, because it was so unexpected. I think it gives a hint to the kind of person Tolly is.

I jumped to ch10. Now in the midst of the war, everything is gritty without being overwhelming. I’m not as familiar with WWI, so I greatly appreciate your attention to detail, as well as your skill in weaving it through the story without making it cumbersome. I was struck by the simple mention of Harry hating to have dirty hands, as I just saw the mention in ch1 of his always-clean hands from the bakery. That little contrast said it all – the before and after.

I looked for anything that I couldn’t follow or that wasn’t clear and came up empty. This is superbly written, and I’m happy to back it.

R.C. Lewis (Fingerprints)

Just finished chapter 13. Great stuff. I loved Babbit. I've known guys like him. Hey - from time to time I've been a guy like him.
He smiled as a spider might smile. "Call me John."

Hi Steven, This is a terrifyingly brilliant piece of writing - if you're not published, what hope is there for the rest of us? I dipped into several chapters and found each more evocative of its place and period than the last. I can only echo all the praises you've received so far. So original in its treatment of a stirring theme, imagination wild and controlled at the same time, very impressive though perhaps a little rich for some tastes - but that's no fault. Definitely on my shelf. Tacitus (Where Truth Lies)

This is so vivid and really roots the reader in the time period you evoke so well. I didn't spot any problems, the dialogue is perfect, the descriptions divine. Backed.

I think this is beautifully written in a clear, clever prose.
The story promises much and the first two chapters deliver, they set the scene in an authentic and intelligent way.
If I had to ctiticise as opposed to critique, I might have upped the initial plot-pace by having themj oin up in chapter one and then introduce Ruth slowly, even in flashback, but tastes vary and who am I, an unpublished scribbler, to say that?
This is a superb epic tale and deserves shelf-space.
Great story!

Very descriptive and visual writing. I enjoyed reading chapter one. There was only one thing I thought worth a crit mention: “The boat family’s lurchers, nosing through the grass… leaping crazily from side to side and changing direction.” I think the changing direction is redundant after leaping side to side. This paragraph does a great job showing us the picture – I love it. Wish I had time to read more, but I can't right now.

Madison Woods - Retribution

I like this book so much, the more you read the more you get the feel forthat time in our past.
my great grand father was killed in ww1 and I can almost picture him as the MC. top stuff

Hi Steve. Presumed Killed. (I am commenting having read 7 ex 48 chapters). Rich, lyrical prose combines with a languid tone that very effectively foreshadows the horrors of war that are about to engulf the characters and irreparably alter lives. I have followed the narrative through seven expertly paced chapters that detail the transition of Tolly and Harry from larky, almost unthinking knee-jerk patriots/volunteers through the dehumanising brutality of training to the horror of their first encounter with the front line and the hell of warfare. My personal highlight (so far!) has been the encounter in Ch 6 between the raw recruits and the old hands who, in no uncertain terms, introduce the latest cannon fodder to the realities of their situation. Excellent dialogue and very effective use of historical detail to serve the story. This is a book that will reward a longer, more leisurely read than the quick-read format an authonomy WL so often dictates. I am aware I have not yet looked at the Parisian section of PK...and wish to do so...so it returns to my WL until the opp arises! This book should be twinned with Louise Galvin's equally eloquent Souvenirs. If nothing else, the dreadful events (and senseless waste) of WW1 continues to inspire quality prose. Shelved...and will return to read more. ATB Simon (Little Bastard/Love Gudrun Ensslin)

Hello Steven, this is an epic story and I thoroughly enjoyed the first six chapters I've read so far. It's theme is multi-levelled - it's not only about war, it's about love and romance, and loss. It's about families and community and society on the brink of change. It's great. I'm putting it on my shelf right this instant! Could you take a look at mine? - Chris1

Presumed Killed

Your pitch is arresting, although I was dubious about reading the book -- it seemed to be outside my usual comfort zone. But how glad I am that I read more! Your characters are all very different, particularly in their speech patterns, and I connected with Tolly immediately... he's so pitifully young, so innocent, so idealistic -- and so unprepared for the reality of war, which makes me wince at the thought of what's ahead for him when he joins up, and compels me to read further.

Your descriptions are excellent ("breath like buttered toast","hands like lizards") and I think they make the difference between just another WWI story and this WWI story that's several lengths ahead of the pack. Paradoxically, this is where my only criticism lies -- there may be too many of them, particularly in the first chapter. It seemed to me that these wonderful similes weren't given the chance to shine against a backdrop of more ordinary prose. (But that's just my opinion; a couple of people have pointed out that I don't go in for description in a big way in my own writing, so I guess this one is all down to personal preference.)

Would I buy this book? Most definitely. Until then, it's on my virtual shelf.

Hello Steven,
I read Presumed Dead late last night and woke thinking about it this a.m.I am partial to stories that explore journeys physical/mental whatever..and it seems that this is a story about three friends journeys through a life/ war .
You draw your characters with precision. Wonderfully rich narrative. The dialogue is excellent.
I realise why. After seeing your question on the forum yesterday about childbirth. You strive for excellence and exactitude.
Backed with my very great pleasure.
Dawn : ARK

One of the best pitches I have read on authonomy - it really made me want to read the book.
I liked the idyllic canal-side episode in the opening chapter and loved some of the words you use. The innocence and naivety of the young boys at the Drill Hall going on to celebrate in the tea room is highly evocative of the age and far removed from the hedonism promised in chapters ahead.I haven't read that far but it promises to be a very wide ranging story.
Good luck
I am happy to back you
John

First i thought Tolly was an adult, then i found he was only a child. I love theway you played on my mind...and i loved the way Tolly shifted from fantasies to reality in the church..This is the kind of book we should be reading, O my!
Am coming back for me, and am gonna back this as soon as the problem with my account clears (have not been able to back for 4 days now).

Tope
Times of the supermen

Love the cover. The pitch is excellent. I want to find out what happened and why his name is on that memorial. "Tolly Tollman and his best pal, Harry, join up..." - I believe you are missing some commas there.

Her breath like buttered toast. – I busted out laughing at that. I hope that wasn’t your intent.

How can Ruth settle like a doe? I can’t picture her acting like a deer.

She had a voice of polished wood - ?

“Aye, bulldog,” said Tolly. – missing a comma.

The cathedral-like hush of the woods. – I love this as a tangible image on several levels. The most important being the special feel of the trees towering above and inspiring awe. However, as an auditory descriptive, I don’t understand at all.

Why are they worrying about Indians in 1914?

Why do you capitalize two words several times, like THE CANAL, THE VICARS, and THEY CHOSE? Then CHUNKY is capitalized alone? The double space indicates a change in time well enough on its own.

The fish rose in the canal, touching off questing circles. – Questing? How are they questing? And rising fish make me imagine fish flying into the air. Possibly, surfacing?

“She was a short, burly woman…” – seems a slight run-on to me.

Be careful you don’t slip into a state of using your manuscript to display your intelligence at the expense of the reader’s ability to understand what you are saying. When I read a sentence and decide that I need a dictionary to define three of more of that one sentence’s words, then I skip it entirely. I find this happening often here. Obviously, you have chosen your target audience in this way. I find myself fairly intelligent too, and I can barely understand several parts.

The overarching plot is just excellent, and the writing in most parts is fantastic. I think you have a great book here! Good luck with it!

I'm impressed. You have breathed life into events that happened almost 100 years ago. I know that we have some film footage, a lot of literature from the time period, and a lot of films that have covered it. Even so, you have put so much detail into this that it reads as though you experienced most of it yourself. I want to come back and read a lot more.

Thank you for bringing that very important historical period back for us to discover the horror millions experienced in that war. People today must never forget the hell humans can unleash onto themselves. I hope more people would realize the same insanity continues today in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. I wish you the best of luck with this excellent book.

This has promise and really deserves to be published. You have a wonderful voice that flows beautifuly, quite a contrast when compared to the story you tell. I love that. Your characters and dialogue are perfect. You have an excellent mind for writing lines that stick. I'm going to back this and read some more later. Superb.

Andrew Nicholls

Dear Steven,

Excellent, believable prose with great sense of time and place. Dialogue that flows and draws the reader in to the emotions of what is being discussed, ‘Dad would have wanted me to go,’ being an example where the depth of the undercurrent is there to feel.

Some cracking lines throughout, such as, ‘hard faced with rum and cruelties, as rough with each other as scrapping dogs…’, ‘Whining endlessly over trifles and then standing up to die as if it were a joke.’, ‘And that moustache – well, call it a moustache – was a fucking joke.’

Great characterisation, whether the Major, Grandma Oldham or anyone else introduced, they are all given enough depth to come to life to the reader.

I can sense a story building that will be moving and powerful and it is without doubt something I would buy based on the pitch alone (though the cover is also top notch).

I will definitely return for more of this, and would love to see it on the real shelves rather than just the virtual ones!

Good luck and best wishes,
Dave

I read the first three chapters and was really taken with your beautiful writing. Some of your descriptions are written wo well, even textures and smells come to life. Really nicely done. Enjoyed and backed.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Dear Steven Wyatt,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I like how you juxtapose the perceived glory of the war in the first chapter with the horror that will no doubt follow. I skipped to chapter thirteen to cover new ground. I was rewarded with these phrases, “ghosts whisper in the corners of the empty house” and “Ruth flew into his arms in a tumult of urgency and hair” and “her buttery scent” and “they’re only in it for the halo.” I thought your dialog handled well the grief and internal tensions in this scene. I also enjoyed the shift in perspective to the cantankerous Babbit.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your first sentence even more engaging with a word tweak to “The vicar pitched his words to reach every ear . . . .”

This small matter aside, your story is well done. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

So many chapters to get through, so little time. Shelved for further reading.
Jillian
(The Last Message)

Presumed Killed:

Steven, I love the way you lead the reader right into the scenes with your very vivid writing.

There is so much more I like about this first opening scene, the way Ruth keeps her brother in check, with just a look, and Tolly, him fantasizing about the war at the organ, only to forget to play the hymn. And what a way to describe Ruth's crooked tooth!

So much light-heartness in the way Harry and Tolly talk about joining up, and even before they do, I already feel sad for what lies ahead for them.

I'm backing this now, while I turn to Chapter Two.

All the best,

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Steven:

Masterful writing and beautiful turns of phrase. I actually followed your thread here, based on a small excerpt and was delighted to find that the rest of the book was as fully engrossing with no stinting on the depth and emotion. This will stay on my shelf until I've finished, and I thank you for a wonderful read. I wish you the very best.

Jeanne

Tremendous writing! I have just started writing a WWI novel - in the very early creative stages! - and was eating up all the detail you gave. Feels like I was right there. The innocence of the boys, wanting the excitement so badly, then the end of that innocence as they see war and real life. Beautiful.
Backed with pleasure.

Hi Steven, made a start on Presumed killed. You capture the spirit of the time so well, the innocence and naivety of the young men, boys really, who thought they were off on a big adventure, kill a few huns and make it home for christmas covered in glory. That was before they heard about trenches and the appalling leadership on both sides.
One of my favourite books covers a similar subject, a young man from Dublin enlisting in the British army, having no idea what he was letting himself in for.
I can see from the pitch that the full horrors of war and that war in particular will be explored, and the boys are in for a harrowing time.
I know it gets bandied about a bit on this site, but I would genuinely love to see this book in print, it is one I would gladly part with cash for.
Paul

I stamp my foot and demand to read this book in printed and bound format. It shouldn’t be here.

I knew I was going to love this when I read the descriptions of the main characters - Ruth with 'breath like buttered toast' and Tolly with his 'forehead corrugated with questions'.
A moving and gripping tale of innocence lost, and something else - ultimately - gained. Wisdom? Self-knowledge? But at a cost.
Simply lovely writing. Shelved, absolutely.

I've been looking through my comments for something and couldn't find one for this story, which I knew I'd read (and backed) a good while ago when there was trouble backing books! So, I'll try again..

The writing is quite lovely, silky in parts and brutal in others, to match the content. The horrors and emotions of the characters are clearly realised and the story keeps the reader turning the page. There is some lovely imagery and vivid descriptive passages. Worthy shelf sitter, Carolyn.

This is so real and timeless, not like going back in time but just being there! Your writing flows perfectly, backed!

Best wishes, Agneta

Truly exceptional writing, thoroughly enjoyed the first couple of chaps, will be dipping in for more.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

Steven - I found this a ripping yarn and a good page turner. You've got a lively plot, interesting and varied settings and good characterisation. I haven't quite finished your book (though I did skip to read the end before deciding I could comment. The only thing that disappointed me was the first page as I found it a little unclear (my problem perhaps rather than yours) and I felt that the vicar's sermon was a little too strong even for these jingoistic times - 'heathen hordes of Hades' particularly. Once I got past page one, though, I was captivated and thought that you drew it neatly to a close in the final chapter. I'll read the last third soon, I assure you. Tacitus

Steven - I found this a ripping yarn and a good page turner. You've got a lively plot, interesting and varied settings and good characterisation. I haven't quite finished your book (though I did skip to read the end before deciding I could comment. The only thing that disappointed me was the first page as I found it a little unclear (my problem perhaps rather than yours) and I felt that the vicar's sermon was a little too strong even for these jingoistic times - 'heathen hordes of Hades' particularly. Once I got past page one, though, I was captivated and thought that you drew it neatly to a close in the final chapter. I'll read the last third soon, I assure you. Tacitus

Love the vernacular here, this is pretty good.

This is a very substantial book- with excellent historical reconstruction backed up by persuasive ( large) cast of realised characters. I can't pretend to have read it all, but there is a consistency that I think allows me to assume that its all of a solid, crafted, piece. Some splendid set-scenes, like Tolly beating up his odious grandfather. Some fine female characters in what might too easily have been a male-only story. Very good. Backed without a doubt. It is also very locally specific ( mid Lancashire ) without being regional.. Come on, everyon, get this too the editorial desk DB

Remarkable writing, Steven, 'corrugated with questions', 'cat's-paws across the water'. The hare's blood on the grass ... prophetic? Deep, beautifully observed scene with Tolly's mum and the memories, and the looming grandfather. 'At sixty-four young is just young' LOL. So many strands woven into this ... the different perspectives, and levels of knowledge and experience ... a time of near innocence. Tolly's arrival back after training is something to behold ... a moment of exquisite violence. Then staring into the future in Jack's eyes.

You have the understanding, the insight and skill to recount this phase of history from within the viewpoints of these very individual people. The dialogue is rich with character and location, and the narrative, masterful. Backed, of course.

Hi Steven this is a lovely piece of writing, there is something very gentle about the piece. You describe the threes relationship really well and each of their characters is very strong. It is also a really interesting premise and I hope this story does well. Its on my shelf. Helena (A Load of RUbbish)

Hi Steven,

It's not often I get chills from a pitch, but the last line of yours gave me the shivers - if I'd seen this on a bookstore shelf, I would buy it based on your pitch alone. I was a bit apprehensive reading the story - afraid to be let down by my now high expectations - but you certainly didn't disappoint. I envy you your use of descriptive phrases, and the ability to set scenes - I felt I was watching this play out in my head, not reading it on a screen. Shelved with great pleasure!

~Traci
Tangled Web

What a marvellous piece of writing about such an important period in our history, one that we should never forget. Your vivid descriptions, with beautifully crafted charcaters, set the scene in the opening chapters of this book. A real gem and backed for sure!

Steven
What a great pitch! You make it very easy for the reader to get enthusiastic about this story. Now, people usually comment on the opening chapter(s) so I thought I’d jump in later to see if I can give you some alternative feedback.
Chapter 16
Wow! What an intense battlefield. This is top-notch story telling. I was there experiencing the horrible sights and sounds. This is great writing and I particularly appreciate the banshees falling from the sky to punch holes in the earth etc. and it’s the details too that don’t bog down the flow but add so much realism – things like a leaking water bottle etc. A small detail but powerful in its implication. Great characters too, with realistic dialogue – I think I could ‘hear’ the tension in their voices. You describe manoeuvres well for the reader (I don’t know how you do it!) and my favourite part of the chapter is when the guys stand off with the German officer. This is so well written. Amazing. And you include battlefield scrounging, something that is missed all too often in this genre. Let’s face it – it happens.
I really like this. Everything in this chapter adds up to strong filmic story telling. Very nicely done! Shelved with pleasure and I’ll recommend this book to a couple of enthusiasts I know.
Best wishes
David
Green Ore

Presumed Killed-

This is most excellent. Most excellent indeed. Your use of metaphor is outstanding. This is how I want to write!

Having said that though--and I can't believe I'm about to say this--I think it might be somewhat overdone in places. Not in a bad way but one that might be distracting for some readers. It's just a matter of taste, I think. You use commas as connectors and I do too and while I love what that does to a sentence, others will call them run-on. Your style reminds me in many ways of Margaret Atwood; she wields the semi-colon and comma with incredible skill and I see that here--it's beautiful and mesmerizing and it adds such a poetic turn to the phrase but is many times very under-appreciated.

Do not compromise. As I said, this is outstanding work. And I think all cats are a little bit psychotic. -Brad (Larcenous Tendencies)

Steven
I read a good portion of your book, quite appropriately on Armistice Day with the programs on the TV in the background. Sobering.
It was beautifully written and captures so many emotions of war, and how poor Tolly struggles to cope with his personal loss and the horror of what he saw.
Chpt 4 is a nice emotional reference for the later chpt’s when Tolly is in a personal hell. I won’t say any more so not to spoil for anyone who hasn’t read that, but those chpts were nicely done.
This is one of those books you tell all your friends and family to read, but refuse to give them your copy!
Backed
Cat
Judas Kiss

I've just read chapter 1, and I will continue with the book. I liked the amosphere it generates and the vision of that time when youths trembled eagerly for the great adventure. Oh God! Some remarkable description came from the scene (voice like polished wood). This has been my first dip into authonomy and it has been worthwhile. I'll comment again when I reach the end.

Hello Steven,

I've read the first 5 or so chapters and am of the opinion that this manuscript is now well beyond the authonomy threshold- it's moved beyond the capability of the amateur editors here and into the professional realm (well, beyond me at any rate). Tight writing, strong characters, fabulous setting.

I especially like the way you captured the 'innocence' of the time. An era before mass media imagery brought a thousand fannys a day to our screens, and the horrors of war could only to be witnessed with the naked eye.

This is a great read and very enjoyable.

Cheers
Harclubs

I love when I find something I do not think I'm going to connect with, but can't help but do just that. One of my favorite authors is Ken Follet, and I remember picking up Jackdaws, based only on the strength of Pillars of the Earth. I read it with skepticism because it wasn't my genre and I loved it. That's the same feeling I got when I started reading this. I love being surprised. Thank you.

Steven, As a historian of sorts, with a special interest in the First World War, I found this a particularly rewarding read. You evoke the time and places with a sure touch and your writing has the quality one would expect from someone of your background. The characters are well drawn and Tolly's time in Paris brought to mind Gertrude Stein's lament about the Lost Generation. I've read the first two chapters, the last two, and the epilogue, and will come back to enjoy the rest when time allows. Meantime I'm very happy to shelve.