Book Jacket

 

rank 335
word count 20284
date submitted 16.02.2010
date updated 03.11.2011
genres: Young Adult, Biography, Harper True...
classification: adult
complete

Scenes from an Examined Life

Anthony Brady

Wartime. A single woman, pregnant by a married man, leaves home in Ireland. She abandons her baby boy in Westminster Cathedral, Central London.

 

A priest in a Confessional Box hearing a baby crying, notices the mother, watching from the shadows. He offers to help, takes her details and promises a visit if she can only, for a few more days, care for her son. Soon a woman from a Charity called The Crusade of Rescue arranges a fostering place. Within a year, the arrangement breaks down and the boy is placed in a foundling's nursery in Feltham, Middlesex.

When aged five, he is transferred to an orphanage for 150 boys in Enfield, Middlesex, run by nuns called The Daughters of Charity. The boy's mother is discouraged from visiting because she is frighteningly disfigured - caused by a fire when she was girl. The Sisters plan to have the child adopted by a family; he is told that his mother is dead and his father died fighting in the Second World War. The boy's story is told in the first person and describes his experiences from 1945-1952. In February 2011, advised by numerous Commentators, I substituted an explanatory Prologue with Fragments. "These fragments I have shored against my ruins.." The Wasteland T. S. Eliot


 
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tags

abuse, acceptance, attachment, compassion, cruelty, defiance, defiance., humour, humour., loss, release, release., separation

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Anthony Brady wrote 2 days ago

Joe - Hello!

Thank you for taking the time to read my first book of the trilogy. I hope you go on to read the other two as the three are all of a piece and the sum of its parts. To be mentioned in the same breath as Charles Dickens is a huge compliment.. I can truly say I have read all his books and been influenced by them in developing my own personality, character and life philosophy. I sympathise with your treatment at the hands of the Jesuits in Enfield. That St. Ignatius College you cite must be the one that was fomerly situated in Stamford Hill. I had better treatment from the Order as you will see if you read the Chapter - After Blaisdon Belgium - which ends book 2. I have taken a break from commenting but will take a close look at your Rupee Millionaires. Thank you for your most insighful Comments. Best Regards. Tony Brady.

Wussyboy wrote 3 days ago

This is one of the very few books on Authonomy that I have read from beginning to end - and all in one sitting. Not only is it incredibly well-written (okay, as 'scenes' in a life as opposed to a straightforward narrative) but it is of personal fascination to me, who was brought up in eerily similar circumstances. I spent seven years under the tyranny of the Jesuits in St Ignatius Loyola school for boys, which transferred - when I was 14 - to your old stamping ground, Anthony...Enfield! That was back in the 60s, and although I was only a day student - and got to escape the 24-hour horrors described in your book - I also came to fear the Catholic God of punishment. Daily beatings with a whaleboned ferula, being ripped out of my seat by my hair, my mother sent home in tears on Parents Day after being told I needed a psychiatrist, these memories persist with me to this day.

I love how you manage to inject a sly note of humour into the proceedings - that side-comment about you thinking the Yellow Peril of Chinese communists had 'already reached Ponders End' made me roar! - and how you came, through looking after poor Martin and standing up for 'Nanny Drewe' - to decide to always stick up for the underdog. Your writing reminds me of Dickens, who had a similar understanding of (and empathy for) the physical/emotional abuse of young orphaned boys, and even if this remains a 'journal' rather than the conventional memoir other commentators have suggested it could be, it will remain a powerful testament to a life that has been examined and not found wanting.

6 stars is not enough.

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

ClaireLyman wrote 46 days ago

This starts slowly, and we're often advised not to do that, but it seems to work here. I'm not sure about the prologue - but I guess that has been debated ad infinitum. I'd like to have you show, not tell, the story of how you were found when you were heard crying, etc - can you make this into a scene rather than a summary, a flashback which you could embed within the book perhaps? Also, tiny nit - I don't think there should be a comma in the first line of the prologue. You write very well, I just wonder if you should add a little more dialogue in the early chapters as big blocks of narrative can put me off at the beginning of a book. On the other hand, I'm an unpublished writer, so it's quite possible I don't know what I'm talking about! ;)
I love the title, by the way ...

bunderful wrote 57 days ago

I can honestly say that I nothing negative to say - only positive things! I just kept reading. Your writing is clear and concise - smooth - without any grammatical errors or anything of that sort that stood out. I found your story fascinating as I know very little about the world that you describe and I kept reading because I had to learn more about this child and his story. You are a gifted storyteller, a good writer and fortunately (for us perhaps?) or unfortunately, you have this sad but interesting (to me at least...) tale to tell us.

Thank you for sharing your story so eloquently.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

Diwrite wrote 68 days ago

In truth, I rarely read biographies so I'm not sure that I'm qualified to comment.
However, I can see you have strong writing skills and a knack for giving a feel of a place.
I thought perhaps the flow could be a bit smoother, but perhaps that's because I'm more used to fiction. Apologies if that's the case.

I'm starring this now and will find space on my shelf soon.
Good luck.
Diana

Diwrite wrote 68 days ago

In truth, I rarely read biographies so I'm not sure that I'm qualified to comment.
However, I can see you have strong writing skills and a knack for giving a feel of a place.
I thought perhaps the flow could be a bit smoother, but perhaps that's because I'm more used to fiction. Apologies if that's the case.

I'm starring this now and will find space on my shelf soon.
Good luck.
Diana

FRAN MACILVEY wrote 68 days ago

Dear Anthony

Your narratives are arresting. I see that, without noticing, I have read the best part of four chapters of your book. It is genuinely engaging and at the same time, predictably horrifying.

I wonder whether you could blend all your scenes into a story which reads chronologically? For example, I was slightly confused at the start of chapter three, which I felt was from an earlier period than chapter two.And there are unavoidable elements of repetition in the writing of self contained chapters, which could then be reduced.

However, there is no doubt that you write well, chillingly recounting the deadly horror of growing up in the bosom of the church.

All the best with this

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

leelah wrote 78 days ago

Anthony, I marvel at your ability to take me into the past as if it is happening right now. This is rich and wise prose, this is the way I love to learn history. I love that you do not become an inflated ego in your story - you create just the right amount of distance for me to identify with you - if that makes sense at all. I would buy this in a second if it could be bought as a book.
High starred !
Leelah Saachi, "When fear comes home to love"

Laura A. D. wrote 79 days ago

You, Mr. Anthony Brady are one of the most talented writers I have read. The style of this work reads like a classic. It gives the reader a peek into a life I am unfamiliar with and has me caring for a boy I have never met and may not exist in real life. Fantastic! The detail and narrative voice is exceptional. This is a work that is well developed and put together with care. I look forward to scrolling down and reading your other book now! :)

Best wishes and many blessings to you,
Laura A. Diaz
"They Call Me Blanca"

strachan gordon wrote 92 days ago

An unforgettable picture of Sister Catherine , a truly wonderful person who you have presented with great skill and delicacy , describing rain as 'Tears of the Madonna ' ,'she is weeping for your sins' is very beautiful and very moving. Watchlisted and starred. Would you be able to look at the first chapter of my novel 'A Buccaneer' , which is set amongst Pirates in the 17th century,with best wishes , Strachan Gordon

Anthony Brady wrote 111 days ago

Dear Anthony,
I am amazed, utterly amazed. I finished reading your story this morning, but it has stayed with me all day. You have so vividly recounted a heartbreaking story yet framed it with pure strength, diginity, and triumph. Such unimaginable cruelties you have endured... I am without words for the pain inflicted on a young boy. Your descriptions of the interactions surrounding Martin, Nanny, the bullies, Langdon, and of course the Sisters, who (as you have said) "expressed their love through violence" had me in tears many times. Your voice was highly effective in retelling this story, dramatically capturing the thoughts of an innocent child, who (as you stated) "had no other reference point." What most deeply touched my heart, though, is how this child not only survived such injustices, but indeed truly thrived. Your compassion and empathy, sprouting from the terrible "taming of Nanny," have surely spread grace to many over the years. Bless you for telling your story. Highly starred and watchlisted.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now to Him



My dear Rose,

Thank you for your most moving and perceptive comment. Appreciation such as yours confirms that I have achieved the simple test of writing with the power to move: not only emotionally but physically. That is to say inspire wonderment and tears. The test is: Does this writer's capacity for language expand my capacity to think and to feel? There are plenty of entertaining reads that are life enhancing but they are not literature that can stand that simple test. Your book, like mine takes the reader from curiosity to discovery and achieves what language can do: it shifts perspective - which is just what literature is supposed to do. We are like beacons reflecting human suffering and the will to face it down and not be crushed by it. Wherever and whenever that all consuming light shines I am pleased to show an affirming flame. All progress in your writing enclosed in Grace abounding. Tony Brady


silvachilla wrote 112 days ago

Hi Anthony

So sorry it’s taken me so long to return the read.

I do like true life so looking forward to reading this. I do think your Long Pitch tells too much though and might not leave enough ‘intrigue’ to read on as this is pretty much repeated in your opening chapter. Personally, I prefer the chapter to the LP as it has more information in it. Just my opinion though....

The Sisterhood chapter, for me felt like it was placed wrong. We’d already been introduced to some of them and it felt like I would have expected to read it beforehand, especially as it introduces Martin who we’ve already met. That being said, I see no reason why it can’t work here. In some ways, I like that you’ve given a glimpse of them and then introduce them later.

In terms of the content, I can’t really comment. It’s a very personal story obviously, but I like that this isn’t misery lit. Certainly some of it sounds horrific, the thrashings and Martin, but it comes across as very neutral and therefore very readable. I also liked that the areas are familiar. I like reading names that I know – Chase Farm Hospital, Gordon Hill.

I enjoyed this very much, just sorry it took so long to return the read!!

Nat
x

faith rose wrote 113 days ago

Dear Anthony,
I am amazed, utterly amazed. I finished reading your story this morning, but it has stayed with me all day. You have so vividly recounted a heartbreaking story yet framed it with pure strength, diginity, and triumph. Such unimaginable cruelties you have endured... I am without words for the pain inflicted on a young boy. Your descriptions of the interactions surrounding Martin, Nanny, the bullies, Langdon, and of course the Sisters, who (as you have said) "expressed their love through violence" had me in tears many times. Your voice was highly effective in retelling this story, dramatically capturing the thoughts of an innocent child, who (as you stated) "had no other reference point." What most deeply touched my heart, though, is how this child not only survived such injustices, but indeed truly thrived. Your compassion and empathy, sprouting from the terrible "taming of Nanny," have surely spread grace to many over the years. Bless you for telling your story. Highly starred and watchlisted.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now to Him

Kaychristina wrote 124 days ago

Anthony, this is a memoir and a half, I'd say. It's so well written, so honest, that you can make a reader laugh even when recounting the darkest of moments for a boy raised in care.

Here are some thoughts -

1 Opening is as direct and honest in the writing as it is utterly shocking.

Thank God, say I, for the Priest at Westminster Cathedral - in spite of what happened to you in those early years in care.
2
These memories, written in present tense yet so well done we know they are memories recounted.

Some typos, I think, in the para beginning "At bedtime, dressed in nightshirts............."
Is it "............by Sister Vincent assisted by Miss Marcella."?? There are a couple of full stops there.
And "He is clothed in a spreading cope............" (cApe?)

It is so touching, your imaginings around the statue of Jesus of Prague. And so is Martin's suffering, the terrible beating inflicted upon you, and perhaps even more, your feelings of loss. And then the comfort and joy at seeing the Infant of Prague back in place.

Martin - "Beery" - that poor, poor boy. And what a fine, fine person you already were becoming.

Ch.3 - The characterizations of the Sisters... no Sisters of Mercy these ladies.

"The Sisters of Blue Murder", as you say, is fitting.

These descriptions are a joy to behold...
As is the final paragraph on the subject of laundry...

Incidentally, I'm not sure why this in as a chapter 3. It still makes fine reading!

Ch.4 Oh the bliss of Sr. Anthony, Sr. Catherine, and Dr. Moore.

Ch.5 - The kitchens, and we have the unforgettable Miss Teresinna. Her punching out a hippo will live forever in the mind... as I'm pretty sure she and Murphy have in your own.

Sure enough, we know what happened to her, too. "Pietro 'E no Come", answered at last.

Do you know, I didn't even notice the fine slide into past tense... Jesus and Cheese, indeed, and in the same breath!

As far as I have read for the moment, but you know, I hope this story continues into adulthood, that we can learn a little of you and your parents - as hinted at in the opening. (EDIT - AH! I see there are two more books! My prayers are answered.) It's a fine story of a boy's life, and we can tell what a man he has become.

Highly starred, of course, and awaiting a turn on my shelf with some pride that you are amongst us.

From Kay with my highest regard
(*Annacara*)


a.morrison712 wrote 131 days ago

The talent you have for writing is evident in the very first paragraph. Loved it. Highly starred and will be back for more. Also, you have a great memory and a knack for putting experiences into written word! Thanks for sharing this. I hope others receive this well! It deserves a moment in the sun!

Good luck,

Ashley

strachan gordon wrote 153 days ago

Beautifully written , tremendously well-evoked , you have the most astonishing recall . To be honest what comes over most strongly is the reslience and patience of your character , most of all in taking care of that ghastly individual, Martin , its an astonishing testament that you didn't end up torturing him. Very clearly and concisely written , nothing gets in the way of a compelling story. I wonder if you nothing more constructive to do , if you would be able to take a look at my novel 'A Buccaneer' which is a novel set amongst Pirates in the 17th century . Watchlisted and starred . With best wishes from Strachan Gordon.

Joshua Jacobs wrote 180 days ago

First off, I love the title. Not only does it interest me, but it sums this up really well.

Your choice to write this in present tense at the beginning of chapter one is unique. At first, it felt a bit jarring as you jumped through time in the opening paragraph, but once I settled in, it worked well. It created an immediacy that I felt strengthened this. Then you switched to past tense and I was really confused. I'd go through this and be consistent. Either way you decide works, as I feel your writing has a lot of depth either way, but make sure you're not changing tense.

Your style of writing is very effective as it feels almost conversational, which in my opinion, is a benefit in this type of book. You're also a talented writer. There were times when your writing was vivid enough that I felt right there with the characters. Nicely done!

Suggestion: The opening when you mention your parents being buried in two different locations serves as an interesting hook. Yet the rest of the intro read a bit dry. Part of the reason is there's quite a bit of telling in the opening pages. I'd consider rewriting some to show this information and grab your reader's attention.

Typos: No comma needed in your first sentence. "When aged 6-7 months, my mother decided..." is implying that your mother decided when she was 6-7 months. Spell out "fourteen." Should be: "who's your charge?"

This is a solid start. The topic is one I've never read about, and you do an excellent job of telling this story. Good job!

RossClark1981 wrote 182 days ago

- Scenes from an Examined Life -

(Based on chapters 1-3)

The narrative here is very engaging and drew me in from the off with what really is an excellent opening sentence. It may seem a bit of a deft thing to point out but it was something that particularly grabbed me. There is an honesty and a lightness of touch to the writing that makes the reader feel he is in good hands and we are taken through a historical epoch and moving childhood experiences with some skill. My notes are largely nitpicks and I'll go through them chapter by chapter.

Chapter one

- Should 'Roman Catholic' be capitalised? It isn't in the text.

-Typo: not until I was in my 'teens (the apostrophe shouldn't be there).

- I wasn't quite clear what happened with the incident involving the priest. I read it a couple of times but wasn't certain.

Chapter two

- 'I am on a train journey placed opposite soldiers....'
....... I think a comma before 'placed' is necessary to make the sentence a bit more digestible.

- 'Tied to Martin like a Siamese twin meant....'
..... I think this sentence needs to start with a gerund. 'Being tied to Martin....'

Chapter three
-The character sketches here are vivid and extremely interesting. However, I did wonder about the dramaties personae structure of the chapter and whether it would have been more affecting to have woven the sketches into the narrative, as part of the action.

One more note, and one which is entirely an issue of my personal taste: I think I would have preffered the entire narrative to have been in the past tense. I can see the effect of the scenes in the present, as if we are reliving them again through the child's eyes, those experiences almost fleeting by us. But for me, my favourite part about ading biographies is being able to have a sense of not only the life but the times of the subject. I like to feel placed in the past and I felt here that the past tense would have allowed me to do that more. As I say, this is probaly just an issue of taste but I thought it best to mention in case it's of interest.

Overall though, this is very capabale, vivid and affecting writing and I very much enjoyed the read.

All the best with it,

Ross

Daniela Pitakova wrote 186 days ago

Your descriptions are vivid and easily grabs readers focus. The book shows us upbringing and perso al development of a boy who was left in care. I feel tremendously sorry for the hitting and slapping the nuns placed onto the children in care. This was though the authorian way of raising children in that age. Your writing style is easily followed. Fully rated. Good luck

Daniela

Anthony Brady wrote 206 days ago

Andi - Some really helpful pointers there. I appreciate your reading and critique. I will amend "she watched at distance." to: she watched from the back of the church. There is a possible ambiguity since a lady in a fur coat is in the same sentence. My researches revealed that during the 2nd World War many babies where left in London churches. An old priest in Westminster Cathedral told me that when a baby was noticed the first reaction of the priest was to look into the rear of the cathedral. If the mother was still there it signified that they really cared for the child and were most likely to be amenable to offers of help. In those days, there was always a priest or priests on duty in confessional boxes during opening hours. I obviously need to further cut the details: I have already shed over a thousand words in response to earlier suggestions similar to your own. I wish you every success with your own book Animal Cracker. It's a winner. TB

Andi Brown wrote 208 days ago

Hi Anthony,

Sorry it's taken a while for the return read I promised. I've had quite a backlog.

This is a difficult story, and you tell it really well. You do a great job of capturing the feel of places and people. I was especially touched bby the relationship with Martin. So tough. I especially liked the different formatting of each chapter - very original, and a neat way to keep the reader energized and engaged.

I do have some ideas for making it even better. In the first chapter, you mention a lot of dates, down to the month and day, and a lot of places. I don't think we need to know all that at the start. You could say she moved to this county or that, and maybe the year, and then say five years later. I found all the place names and dates overwhelming.

I also noticed that you used the passive voice quite a bit, e.g. ..emotions are recalled....ablutions are completed. It's okay once in a while, but I think that, as a stylistic device, it distances the reader from you, the narrator. Why not just say "I remember..." That makes it more immediate and gives the reader empathy iwth YOU.

Oh, I just remembered, in the first chapter, there was something confusing. You describe the mother watching her baby get picked up by the priest, and then he's saying something but you said "at a distance" so you think she's still watching from afar.

I think you have a really good story here, that could be gripping with just a little tightening up. I'm giving you a bunch of stars, and watch listing for now.

And thanks again for your past backing of Animal Cracker. Anytime you want to come back, you're more than welcome :)

All best,
Andi

junetee wrote 212 days ago

What an interesting and moving story.
I've read four chapters and I think you have written this touching story of childhood, brilliantly.
You describe the nuns and the orphanage so well. I had a catholic upbringing myself , with nuns teaching me - nice nuns though.
Your writing flows well. I saw no sign of spelling or grammar mistakes.
I think this is a book I would buy. I give it 6 stars,
Junetee ,'Four Corners'

Victor Hansom wrote 223 days ago

After examining some of your writing, you have helped me gain a better picture of what life must have been like for you at St Joseph's.
What I am finding uncanny in your work, is that so many of the scenes you present are eerily almost identical to the same scenes that Dad has painted for us in the past.
So for me, this reinforces the veracity of both what you and he had to say.
My brothers and I have previously been at a loss as to be able to grasp what we had been hearing, so far removed was Dad's childhood from our own.
Now that you have done such a great job of presenting the orphanage from your angle, so much of what Dad had to say in the past takes on new meaning and truthfulness.
So for that, I thank you profusely for your courage in facing your truth in your own way and being able to share that with the rest of the world.

Always bright wrote 254 days ago

Read the first two chapters. It's truly a compelling story and one readers can relate to. I have added to my WL for further read. My mother would enjoy this!
Always J

CarolinaAl wrote 255 days ago

I read your first two chapters.

General comments: A touching start. A sympathetic main character. Good period details. Vivid descriptions. Atmospheric. Good tension. Good pacing.

Specific comments on the first chapter:
1) Your opening line sparked my interest.
2) ' ... and my father in the Protestant graveyard of Coagh, Co. Tyrone, Northern Ireland ... ' Spell out 'Co.'
3) ' ... lived the remainder of her 74 years in Becontree, Dagenham also in the County of Essex. Spell out numbers 1-99. There are more cases where numbers should be spelled out.
4) ' This was a roman catholic benevolent society ... ' Capitalize 'roman' and 'catholic.'
5) 'From these fragments gleaned in the landscape of my early life & discovered among ... ' Spell out '&.'

Specific comments on the second chapter:
1) ' ... will bring about the conversion of Russia from communism back to the catholic faith.' Capitalize 'catholic.'
2) "Whose your charge?" Whose (possessive pronoun) should be who's (contraction for who is).
3) Hyphenate 'self care.'
4) ' ... I took him to the bath room rinsed his sheets and rubber matress and ... ' Comma after 'room.'
5) Good end of chapter hook.

I hope this critique will help you further polish your all important opening chapters. These are just my opinions. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Would you please take a look at "Savannah Fire" and keep it in mind when you reshuffle your bookcases at the end of the month.

Have a splendid day.

Al

j. marie wrote 282 days ago

Hello Anthony - Am continuing to enjoy your remarkable book despite its sometimes shocking content. I'd find it a little easier to read, however, if you used more commas to break up complex sentences. At the same time, I recognise that there is a beautiful narrative style here, like a lilting, spoken language. (Have you thought of recording yourself reading some or all of it?)
Just out of curiosity, how many drafts have you done to get it to this stage?
I notice that the chapter entitled 'SPITE OF DUNGEON, FIRE AND SWORD occurs twice - which explains the confusion I mentioned in previous comment.
(as Chapter 6 and also 11)
Keeping it on my bookshelf and hoping to see it at the ED very soon,
j.marie

j. marie wrote 283 days ago

Hi Anthony - am enjoying this read. Despite the grimness of the setting it is full of life and wry humour. The writing style lends to the sound of a voice speaking aloud, so that I get a strong sense of the story teller.
I was a little puzzled by reference to the taming of nanny drew and went back looking for a chapter I had missed - only to discover it further down the track. (Have you rearranged the order at some point?)
Congratulation on a sterling work. Hope I can help it get to that ED.
j.marie

Sandy Mackay wrote 301 days ago

Hi Anthony. A deeply troubling childhood for anyone to deal with. It speaks volumes for your strengh of character and resilience that you came through it all and have the courage to commit it to book form. Will back and star. All the best. Sandy.

Ariel Du Plume wrote 309 days ago

I find that this story is so well written and with a different tempo that attracts to the mind, sources of memory ...
This book is in a class of it's own, and well worthy of recognition for it's intention. Backed with pleasure. Ariel "Merkabah from the centre of the universe."

Jay Adiyarath wrote 317 days ago

Hello Anthony,

It reminds of my favourite childhood classic 'Oliver Twist' and surely it should have ranked up there but for a few small tremors (which will fade away with a little effort). It is undoubtedly a bold theme, a sordid tale told with conviction. Perhaps you could tighten it a bit, especially the part about the diagreeable nuns.
For now, I have showered stars over it and backed it.
All the best

Jay Adiyarath
EXPIRY DATE

Cat091971 wrote 333 days ago

Very well written and touching.

Cat
Twisted
Lies & Love

Phyllis Burton wrote 336 days ago

Hello Tony, I read this about a year ago and I have read parts of it again. It is a heart-breaking, emotional journey through your young life. It is heartening to see just how your life has turned out despite your extremely hard upbringing. I wish you nothing but success with this and will be backing this in two days' time when I will have some room on my shelf. Starred highly.

Phyllis
PAPER DREAMS & A PASSING STORM

Phyllis Burton wrote 336 days ago

Hello Tony, I read this about a year ago and I have read parts of it again. It is a heart-breaking, emotional journey through your young life. It is heartening to see just how your life has turned out despite your extremely hard upbringing. I wish you nothing but success with this and will be backing this in two days' time when I will have some room on my shelf. Starring it highly.

Andrew Keeton wrote 336 days ago

This book is very deep and can touch a lot of people. I am glad that you have written this.

M. A. McRae. wrote 340 days ago

It is very good, although not altogether well organised, I feel. Ch 3, the summary of the nuns, seemed out of place in what began as a logical narrative, and continued after, the same.
Your stories of the vicious nuns certainly show just what an unfulfilled life they must lead 'married to Christ.'
I commend you on this story, and will back it. Two very minor things: The convention for 'roman catholic' is to give them capitals, though I quite understand if you don't think they deserve it, and in ch 2, 'loose their handkerchiefs' should be 'lose.'
Well done, Marj.

mrsdfwt wrote 348 days ago

A masterful piece of literature, courageously told by the Author. Scenes from an Examined Life tell the story of a child who spent agonizing years in an Orphanage. A five year old boy, being humiliated and beaten until blood spills from his head, tortured by the same religious people who claim to be in the service of God. Nuns who made their innocent charges believe that the only way to heaven is through suffering. Women who claim to love God, but demonstrate that love through hatred and violence against small, defenseless children.

I had to stop reading at times, as i felt a fist reached inside me and squeezed my heart.

It didn't surprised me when the Author tells of his lifelong commitment to defend helpless children, who otherwise would suffer the same cruelties at the hands of pure Evil.

I encourage everyone to read and send this book to the ED. It's a winner!

Tom Bye wrote 383 days ago

hello Anthony ' Scenes from and examined life'

This book is just one very compelling and engrossing read, and i am surprised that it is not on the editors desk by now,because it richly deserves to be in the top 10.
i read chunks of it ages ago, shortly after i came on to the site myself, last April i think! and backed it accordingly.
I am now back again to give it the 6 stars it merits.
good luck from here on out Anthony.
Tom Bye ' From Hugs to Kisses'

Tom Bye wrote 383 days ago

hello Anthony ' Scenes from and examined life'

This book is just one very compelling and engrossing read, and i am surprised that it is not on the editors desk by now,because it richly deserves to be in the top 10.
i read chunks of it ages ago, shortly after i came on to the site myself, last April i think! and backed it accordingly.
I am now back again to give it the 6 stars it merits.
good luck from here on out Anthony.
Tom Bye ' From Hugs to Kisses'

ccb1 wrote 390 days ago

Backed Scenes from an Examined Life. Intereseting story that we think many will enjoy. We will be recommending it to my friends on Authonomy. When you have time we suggest you edit for punctucation.
Examples:
1. When age 6 or 7 month my mother decided… Should be- When age six or seven months, my mother decided…..
2. The couple retired and mother had to leave. Should be-The couple retired and mother had to leave.
Good luck.
CC Brown

Anthony Brady wrote 391 days ago

Thank you John for your supportive Comment. I hope you will go on to look at the other two books in the trilogy. As a serious reviewer, I only look at highly ranked books: even so, I will gladly take up your invitation to look at your Walk to Paradise Garden; W/L now. I hope you will Back Comerford by Joe Walsh - whose book I have already Commented upon. Best Regards. Tony Brady

Nigel Fields wrote 391 days ago

I saw this on the shelf of Mr Walsh. He has good taste. I like the premise. Read two chapters thus far in between appts at my office. Starred generously and on my WL with intent. You might enjoy my Walk to Paradise Garden. Please check out the pitch. You have very nice prose.
Regards,
John B Campbell

Tari wrote 393 days ago

This is so well structured. The prose flows faultlessly and engages the reader's attention. I found it to be compelling from the start.

It was so poignant when you write of telling the sisters that that the soldier was your daddy on the train. Your Your memory for detail is scintillating and highly visual, taking me right into the scenes.

The paragraphs on Martin Wheary were tragic, poor little soul. And also what a harrowing experience for you at such a young age you were put into the role of a carer and healer. But thank God it was you as you surely brightened that poor little boy's life with your care and efforts to keep him happy, i.e. the tummy tickling. I am sure however traumatised he may have been he would have remembered you. The whole thing brought tears to my eyes and does now as I type this.

I loved the description and your feelngs for the statue. I had similar feelings for the statue of the Virgin Mary. which kept me company on many lonely nights as a child.

Although it reads like a journal it is precise yet not cold as many are. The feeling s and emotions rise from the screen as I read.

I am sure that many will be impressed and moved by this. I shall definitely be back for more. As for Dr. Moore's treatment - excruciating but also for you a welcome respite from the horror of tending Martin.

|t was so poignant again as you wished to stroke those moles on his head, a child's tenderness.

I highly recommend this and have backed it with pleasure.
HIgh star rating

Best wishes,
Katy.
Phobic Dawn.


Anthony Brady wrote 398 days ago

Dedalus - It's good to be acknowledged as a talented writer. But am I a poet? - like yourself. You might judge by looking at the codas to - Caviar, Champagne Blankets & Fleas Christmas - Chapter 5 and - When London trees let fall their leaves- Chapter 7 in "Nothing Matches - but It's Home!" I am going to take a good look at your book soon. Thank you for your Comment. Tony Brady.

Dedalus wrote 398 days ago

You are a talented writer, Anthony, with an interesting life. The idea of being left at Westminster cathedral is like something from a Dickens' novel, but to think all of this is true. You've described a lot of it poignantly and with a rather fatherly view of your young self. Interesting read and will back when I can.

Joe

Lenore wrote 421 days ago

Oops -- but I do agree that your short pitch is somewhat misleading, because your story, at least through chapter 4, deals with the child, not the mother.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Lenore wrote 421 days ago

Scenes from an Examined Life
At first the author's insistence that I go with his flow of detailed description pertinent facts brought frustration, but once I relaxed and adjusted to the dialogue of friend to friend talking about his life, I saw the richly constructed flow of his unique history and, also, his emotional attitude toward his mother, who left him, but then cared for another family's children. I also warmed to his phrasing : combed the bible for references to sin, zigzag parchment floor,frightened piglets, tied to Martin like a Siamese twin — all of which enriches his memoir with such vivid imagery. Since my work as well is a memoir, I am always interested in another's perspective on the same genre.
Good luck to you. I will star and get you on the shelf when possible.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Old Bob wrote 422 days ago

Anthony, Chapter 1 sounds a lot like a memoir. I have great interest in your story because, at least your early childhood strikes some similarities. You seem quite honest and quite comfortable in laying the groundwork for your story. I, on the other hand, had to fictionalize my story to leave out many of the hurtful parts. Two different approached to life, wouldn't you say?

Your voice is smooth and you write with confidence. The read is fast and I should have no trouble finishing the book. I am putting you on my Wait List, which is just below my Watch List - overcommitments you understand.

I shall look forward to commenting again.

In the mean time, should you be so inclined, I would appreciate your taking a glance at my book, A PLACE IN LIFE, and giving me your first impression. Don't worry, I can handle any criticism.

Good luck,

Old Bob
A PLACE IN LIFE

Louise Galvin wrote 431 days ago

It’s a likeable mix of poignant and positive this. It strikes me as well-measured writing. It’s written without gush or self-pity and is sympathetic for that quiet restraint. Horrors are recalled without moral judgement (the fact that Martin has ‘no vocabulary’, the Jeyes Fluid bath). The facts are enough. I love the evocative sharp details (the wet finger snuffing out the candle, the polo mint, the blue tributaries and carbolic soap). Lovely touches of humour too – the Chinese army at Ponder’s End. How romantic to be left in Westminster Cathedral waiting for a lady in a fur coat… if only it was fiction. I’m curious to see more peering out at Enfield in the ‘40s (I lived there myself for a few years). I very much like what I’ve read of this, Anthony. I would carry on reading.

hikey wrote 431 days ago

'Scenes from an Examined Life '

This is a well written true life story that gives a rare insight into the authors life. It is not an easy task to write down what must at times be traumatic memories but you do this with great style. The humour is natural, not contrived. The strong emotions are palatable, yet you dont attempt to overwhelm your reader.
The strength of your writing is in the way you handle the issues that this story brings up.
I have no hesitation in giving your writing 6 stars.

Jane
'Breath in the Dark'

Anthony Brady wrote 432 days ago

Jilaine, I deeply appreciate your very constructive and instructive Comment. Various authors have commented in a similar way but not specifically on punctuation. More on too much revelation too early. So much so that in the "published?!" version the Chapter will be headed FRAGMENT. Then a single paragraph thus: Two gravestones.....in the parish where he was born. The rest of the Chapter is jettisonned. From there the reader goes straight into Watching Over Martin. Later, most of the detail contained in FRAGMENTS will be revealed to the reader by an authorial device i.e. a letter from mother found in her papers after death. "In service" is an old phrase for someone employed and living in the house of their employer: maid, servant and so on.. My mother was "in service" to Miss. Partridge the consultant optician.You raise an interesting point about the Cathedral. Because I was one of his advisers on homelessness in later life, I have this historical nugget from the Cardinal himself. Evidently, the leaving of infants in Westminster Cathedral was quite prevalent during (wartime) the time of my infancy. In the cathedral there is the availability of The Sacrament of Confession while the cathedral is open. When a priest heard infant cries or his attention was drawn to a lone child the first thing he did was look to the interior of the place. If "the mother" was watching nearby it was a sign that that she was concerned and could be helped. When Moses was left in the rushes his mother watched in waiting.... I will of course pay attention to other points you raise. Many thanks. Tony Brady.


Anthony,
“Fragments” has a compelling opening line and story. My only criticism might be that it feels, perhaps, a bit too “factual” at times (e.g., who treated the mother and where—perhaps these things become relevant later, or fit the tone you are attempting to create—for me, I’d rather know, at this stage, a bit more about her “disfigurement”).
I would suggest a good edit—punctuation really helps, or hinders, the flow, and a lot more commas are needed (some are optional, but some affect the meaning: “London becomes Essex and my father” (does London “become” a father??)
(I would add commas after all the opening phrases: Luckily for me(,); To set her mind at rest(,); While there(,) etc., and also when things are set off (you have a comma on the front end but need a second one for completion: Tyrone, Northern Ireland(,) (and all the other place names you list), “Two gravestones(,) in two different countries, … My mother is buried…at Barkingside(,) almost on the boundary where London becomes Essex(,) and my father’S RESTING PLACE IS in the Protestant…. (the first part, about the mother, is written as a complete sentence (“mother is buried in …”) but you take a shortcut with “my father in” that doesn’t flow easily given the intervening description. Similarly, you’ve started to set off the Daughters of Charity by using (what should be a dash, rather than a hyphen) but then you use a comma—use another dash for consistency and clarity. Sometimes it helps to pare down a sentence to its essentials and see if it makes sense: The sisters told me my parents “were dead”; mother in the bombing… I suggest that “had died” in the bombing makes more sense, or add “mother WAS KILLED in the bombing” etc.
Punctuation can also break up sentences that are too long: During the years 1952-1956(,) I lost touch with Mother and when I needed a passport to travel to Europe(,) [I discovered the truth on my birth certificate.] Instead of the passive “was a shock”, say how “you” felt: I was shocked and confused, “but Salesian support saw me through a very difficult and emotional period.” I would avoid using two semi-colons in one sentence unless you are listing a series: When I was six or seven months old, my mother decided to leave me as a foundling in W. Cath. Her hope was that I would be picked up…[I would like more description here of the scene, as it is very powerful. Mothers don’t abandon their babies every day! Where did she leave the infant? Where did she hide herself to watch? What tender gesture did she show the baby before abandoning it? You say the baby cried and the priest “intervened” and promised help—I need a sentence, or more, in between, saying how he found the mother hiding in the shadows or something—you jump from “the baby cried” to the priest knowing who to “promise help” to that needs fleshing out. Or, if this is all from what was told to "you", then say that...]
In a couple of places, I don’t understand what is meant (she was “in service”; “a consultant optician, London University lecturer”—how are these two things connected? “a strict undertaking”? These might be regional expressions that don’t translate easily for me (Is “the single lady”=”Miss Partridge”? As a reader I’m still getting to know these characters so it helps to spell things out clearly at first.)
A good editor can correct these minor things, including consistent capitalization (not sure why you cap “Confessional Box” in the pitch, and not “roman catholic”—also county is sometimes capitalized and sometimes not.)
Perhaps instead of “brought up” followed by “draw up” the first might be changed to something like, “one of the children she had helped raise”
Finally, a few thoughts on the pitch. The short pitch focuses on the woman but the long pitch says it’s the boy’s story the book tells. [Abandoned as an infant, [does he have a name?] Jack’s early life was a series of…. or whatever]
In the long pitch, you mention “a baby” and then jump to “he” is placed in … Needs to be “the boy” is placed; no mention has been made yet whether boy or girl…
(and one other picky point: note that you have periods in spots where they aren’t needed; after “Fragments” and some of the tags)
Backed and starred,
Jilaine Tarisa
A Moment of Time