As the Twig is Bent

It's too scary for me and that's how I know it's just right for intended audience!!! Lots of style and backed!!

Joe:

There is something about crime thrillers that I have always been drawn to. Unlike horror stories, there is the possibility of fiction bleeding into the real world that I find absolutely chilling. Example; Stephen King's Christine-no way, Stephen King's Misery -possible. In a world connected via the internet, As The Twig Is Bent resonates to the Nth degree. Griping and fast-paced, a perfect novel for today's thrill seeking public.

Backed with the best of luck.
Candace Bowen Early (A Knight of Silence)

This is an interesting and unusual pitch for a plot which has a lot of contemporary issues and is likely to appeal to many. The question of internet chat rooms, and their dangers, is one which should have more exposure than it's had so far. You have a strong central character in Matt, an attractive individual with an interest in fishing who will appeal to readers. Your writing is clear and easy to read, and you plunge us straight into the heart of your plot with George in danger on his flight, while dreadful things are happening to his wife. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Tortured myself until I found out what happened to Melina and cursed myself because I knew what would happen to her. That's a mark of a good book. Most women don't like to read about such crimes against women because they are too true. You did a very nice job in torturing my psyche (LOL). And I'll have to wait for the last couple of chapters to see how the detective catches the bastard.

Good Luck
Natalie

AS THE TWIG IS BENT:

Joe,

Your first few chapters prevented me from breathing properly, such was the drama and tension. And in spite of the horror of some of the scenes - excitingly told between the two p.o.v.s - I was held captive by the sheer energy of your writing.

Backed, with best wishes,
Sheila
(Pinpoint)

Joe,

Wow, that's a powerful opening! First off, congratulations on uploading the final chapters! (I'm not sure if that's a new development, but it appears that way from your profile.) You've got an excellent command of tension here, and you create two characters we immediately feel for and then put them through hell. As any great writer should. =)

Nice work! Backed!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

This is very well written. You give plenty of detail but don't overdo it. The rape/murder scene has an almost clinical tone to it, yet we feel every sensation. The premise is topical and probably all too common. The little heart tracing and later Biblical passages portend a frightening psychology we long to uncover. Backed.
Niobrara Kardnova (Family Irregulars)

A hard and very gripping thriller that raises a lot of questions about the internet we love and think we know inside out. For better or for worse, it is a resource that draws together all elements of our society and is showm here in all its seedy and sordid detail. This isn't a book for the faint-hearted but it is magnificently crafted with great voice, unique characters and a hugely compelling plot. Brilliant work.

Backed with pleasure, best of luck Joe.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Hi Joe

Classic thriller, with a gripping opening, intercutting skillfully between George, Melina and the detective. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

AS THE TWIG IS BENT
This is chilling. From the opening lines you just know something horrible is going to happen to Georgios wife. Shudder. The 1st chapter is gruesome, graphic and not for the faint-hearted - it shocked me as it seemd to be very real. This is a fast-paced , frightening and very gripping thriller, and written with a fluid hand. And with interent chat rooms today so easy to imagine this happening. I will back this asap.
Faith
THE ASSASSINS VILLAGE

Solid story with strong visuals evoking a frightening atmosphere and a rollercoaster ride

A gripping thriller with the ability to have the reader on the edge of his/her seat. I am sure I backed this some time ago, but can't find the backing. Will back now to make sure it gets a shot at moving upward in the ranks. Eunice. The Temple Dancer.

Having read your first chapter I am surprised that you have said to me that my opening is to gross. The whole point is to shock the reader and make them aware that the revenge scene that comes into play at the end of the book is justified. My description of the pain and suffering may be jolting and that is the point and if it did jolt you, then I guess I accomplished what I wanted, there is nothing worse in my opinion than wishy washy half writing.
My motto is do it or don't.

Either way, good luck.
A couple of points for you though, punctuation, (god knows I'm not the best, but) I noticed a few problems with yours, nothing an edit won't fix.
Also in paragraph 2 when you say "she" did you me he?
Again in the 3'rd paragraph you say "spreadeagle" do you mean spreadeagled? In fact I'm not sure spreadeagle is even a word. Tense problems, like I say we all suffer them but thanks to the community we can learn from our mistakes, huh?

Thanks so much for your comment, and as for your book it was a little generic and commercial for me.

This is pretty good. There is a nice build up to the murder and the parallel writing of the husband's thoughts intensifies the impact. Excellent work.

‘As the Twig is Bent’ is absolutely intense. Cringingly ugly and scary in spots… Almost painfully gripping! Too real! The writing is (I want to say, nearly flawless, but I encountered nothing I could call a flaw.) The story is exceptionally well written.

Backed without reservations.

This has a very strong impact on the reader. I'm enjoying this very much. I'm glad you uploaded the complete text. I'll be back to read more once I find a little time. Backed for now.

This is a masterfully written thriller. Very chilling. I love the way you ended the first chapter. Very realistic plot since so many people frequent chat-rooms.

Well done- it is a pleasure to back it.

Best,
Cori

PS
If you get a chance, I would love to hear any input/backing you might want to offer on my novel, Princess. :)

backed

The story is chilling. Impressive. It is an imposing script . Good style of weaving elements

A gritty thriller with stunning imagery and intense narrative. Atmospheric. Packed with action. Well conceived. Well written. Backed.

Hi Joe,

I haven't had time to read much of this but I like what I've seen so far. Just one point, though. In the first chapter you have a large block of text in italics. This is not easy on the eye and it isn't necessary. All you need is a section break.

Ron

Hey Joe
i think this would make a great movie. Its fantastic.You have a great writing style and descriptive pattern that I do not see too often on this site. I am a reader and not a writer. My partner Craig Ellis who has a book on this account and site called "The Sun and the Saber". Pls check it out. I will get him to back your book when he comes back from the store. I had to hurry and get on the net while he was away. We have only one computer.

Keep up the good work. Keep writing!
Vi

I enjoyed this and BACKED it. I have not got the time at the moment to add commentary because I am being asked by so many for reads. If you particularly want some then message me and I'll add you to the long list.

Delightfully torturous. The flipping between the three scenes was a great twist on the suspense. Very Hollywood. Early on we trust the detective who takes us on the journey. He is flawed and yet his nobility shines above all.

Thoroughly enjoyed and backed!

AmyR
Trust Me

Well, if the publishing deal doesn't come through, you could consider submitting this to CSI (SVU). They love material like this. I do think the red title is all wrong on your cover, particularly the colour but also maybe the typeface itself --- minor. Backed.

Hi Joe, This is an exciting mystery of killing and deceit and it kept me turning the pages. Do you plan to add more to this thriller? Harold Alvin(ICON)Wesley I BACK IT!

Quality writing from a pro that knows his stuff.

The beating heart in any good detective story has to be the clues. The initials J.C is one such clue that while open to misdirection, is obvious. When the police visit the local Catholic church they have assumed the serial killer they seek is a religious nut because of the Jesus Christ motif, left scratched on the victims body. They interview the bishop, asking about any deranged individual that the church might no about. The initials J C is very clever misdirection not only for the police, but also for myself, and I congratulate the author for the achievment. I now know what J.C stands for, but it had me fooled for a while.
I feel there are plenty of other twists and turns to come so for that reason ' As The Twig is Bent' has my backing.
Daniel Manning
No Compatibility.

The pitch is interesting but it is not my kind of thing so I only read the beginning to get a flavour. Your writing style is easy to read, but I think there is too much back story in the second para; could you feed this in later? The action in the first para is dramatic and I felt I wanted to know what would happen in the story not what the background was.

I wish you luck with your work.

Cheers
Elaine

I found the switches in th opening two sections of chapter one a bit confusing at first; there seemed to be no connection between them. Nevertheless I was hooked and read on; the last paragraph brought perfect clarity. Definitely a winner. I have already backed the book and will keep it on my WL to finish reading all that you have posted. Best of luck with a very well written and gripping story.

While this story is very interesting and compeling, and well written, there are some guidlilnes of wirting that agents are looking for. One being overuse of adverbs, I was told that agents stop reading MS once they read 5th adberb on the same page, I read 7 in the first two paragraphs. In my workshop the insturctor says not to use them at all (avoid, avoid and avoid). Just passing down some knowledge. There's way too much narration and not enought action, which turns this otherways very nice story into telling rather than showing. It requires some minor tweaking to turn it into one very exciting read that would make the readers turn page after page. There are also some near chliche phrases with is yet another thing to avoid.

I"m backing the book on the strenght of the plot.

Great hook in chap. 1. This is a nicely woven horror-thriller, and the writing style serves it well. The one criticism I have is "deadly orgasm of death." Quite well conceptualized and realized, though; happy to back this for you.
If you’re so inclined, please take a look at “The Job: Based on a True Story (I mean, it’s bound to have happened somewhere)”, a rollicking parable of suffering and struggle told through humor.
Thanks,
Craig Davis
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=19440

This is insanity. In a good way tho. First of I really liked the last name Spiros, its just awesome. The segments between the "showing" and the "show and tell" are quite ...

Well, thank you very much. I really appreciate your enthusiasm.

This is insanity. In a good way tho. First of I really liked the last name Spiros, its just awesome. The segments between the "showing" and the "show and tell" are quite graphic and quickly introduce us to what we're up against so to speak with no bullshit attached. Personaly, I found no faults in the writing and the style suited me, easy to read. The story evolved at a rersonable pace and the short chapters allowed me to digest enough of the story. In chapter three where the discriptions come in again about the crime I was actually on the edge of my seat, quite visceral and vivid.

Hi Joe,

What I read so far I must say: it is shocking, intriguing, and even though I find the rapist to be a crazy mad-man, the story pulled me in. Rape really isn't my cup-of-tea to read about but somehow was able to stomach this. Maybe it's because I like to write horror myself so blood and guts doesn't bother me as much. Anyway, backed for your excellent writing skills and suspenseful story.

Alice V
The Shoes that Charlotte Wore

Hello Joe,
This is a captivating story, but I am not sure it will attract many women readers. I may be the exception, but I’m not into books focusing on gender related violence. That said, I am sure there are many who will want to buy this. It is well written, and quickly draws the reader’s attention. Although not my thing, I am happy to back it on the basis it will appeal to others. Good luck with it.
Rheagan Greene – Unwelcome Reflections

Hi Joe,

As The Twig is Bent is a real departure from your humorous work. This is incredibly well written. So vivid and disturbing. You are a very talented writer. Why haven't the big boys in the publishing world signed you on? There's no chance for the rest of us...

backed
Pamela Frost
aka scatteredfrost
Houses of Cards

Great writing. I like the contrast between husband and wife's experiences. A couple of suggestions:
you have some passive voice in the high violence scene - i.e. ...there were angry red welts that covered her both her breasts. Might read better as, ...angry red welts covered her breasts.

The other thing that struck me as not realistic is Melina inviting a strange man to her apartment just to talk. It might ring more true if she had changed her mind about what she wanted to do.

Backed, based on how well you've handled it.

Doesn't pull its punches - good stuff

Hi Joe
A great start - this is a fast paced thriller with some real hooks to keep the reader interested. There are so many homicide novels around that one has to be really good to stand out from the crowd. This is certainly up there with the best of them. A really gripping read. Backed.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Wow this good a stunning first chapter what I found disturding was the fact that he kept letting her come round the nocked her out again. This is well writtn but excruiatinly hard to read you have covered the violence brilliantly. The last time something had this sort of affect on me it was Silence of the Lambs. This book is destined for the top I know you have another novel on the site when I have time ill dip in.

Sue Mackender
Knowing Liam Riley

As The Twig is Bent

Read chapter one, edge of seat stuff, shocking and disturbing subject matter. Skillful writing in terms of mental imagery. The author is gifted in his prose, scary, realistic and compelling one to read on.
Brilliant.
Alison Butler

I'm a huge fan of this kind of thriller. Tense, taut, violent, packed with great dialogue and clever plot twists. This is a must read. And I love the fact Matt is addicted to chocolate.
Happy to back.
Carl
The Time Hunters

A gripping, attention getting opening. Lucid writing and a compelling pace that make it hard to put down. Well done.

Dear Joe --

Oh, wow, this is a thriller! I'm probably not your intended audience, but you kept me reading because of the tension and pacing in your story -- the "I have to know what happens next!" factor. Disturbing, frightening, but a page-turner, and that's entertainment. :) Backed. -- Delhui, The Long Black Veil

I want to back theis peice of work on the story alone. Good writing and good talent.

Congratulations.

Backed with pleasure.

If you get the chance, please take a look at my work.

Sincerly
Brendan Doherty
The Russian Hat

This is a type of genre my husband loves. The pitch sounds very very interesting and powerful. I would like to back this book and will tell a friend to read and support your book. I also will read the next chapter after putting yours in my shelf.
Backed
Bamboo Promise
Would you mind take a peek at my book?

I loved it, the scarey is what makes it so good! Backed with pleasure. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

It's too scary for me and that's how I know it's just right for intended audience!!! Lots of style and backed!!

Horribly good...I cringed and wanted to look away but couldn't. The building suspense is enthralling and I got anxious as I read and read...very cool. You hooked me and I just couldn't stop.

Backed with pleasure....run with it!

Amy R.

(dead air / trust me)

Dear Joe, I love that you have broached this topic of internet bad guys, preying on everyone & that there are people posing as the prey to catch the villian I also love hot chocolate with a splash of coffee - thus mocha - it's out of this world. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recappitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "commenting & backing" your book to help it advance - this will help your & mine move up on the charts. :) Thank you so much for "backing" my 2 books. :) Susie :)
p.s. Remember: every "comment" & "backing" you do moves you book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

As the Twig is Bent
Joe Perrone Jr.

Crime revolving around Internet chatrooms is a very topical and relevant subject giving this very broad appeal. Loved your opening which was admirably written and a good sample of your writing skills. Captivating thriller here and I look forward to reading more as you propel the reader to what I am sure, by the looks of it, will be a "bone-chilling" conclusion! I wish you the best in finding a publisher. No problem backing this.
Zan

the makings of a taught thriller there Joe.
The opening rape scene interchanging with the scene on the aircraft was quite breath-taking.
Best of luck.
James.

Powerful stuff, Joe. Gripping. The two concurrent scenes work really well, especially with your use of italics.
A really good read.

Thanks for the kind words; people either love it or hate it. I'm glad you're in the former camp.

A compelling, well written story, backed, if you got the time, please check out mine.