Leap Tide

This is a good book filled with intriguing situations. If you ever come back to the site, I hope you pursue it here. It' will be worth the effort. Jesselowe

An intruiging opening and your story keeps the questions coming. The writing is confident and takes the reader along at a bouyant pace.
Backed
Robert Davidson
TTHE TUZLA RUN

I like stories that take place in a small town so there are limited suspects to murder. Makes things all the more puzzling. Setting this story in an eerie place like Leap Rock is good plotting. An even bigger plus is the way you've managed to instill an ominous tone to this from the very start. Kept me reading all six chapters you've posted. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

The cover is stunning... love the face in the ocean. At first I didn't see it. Your descriptions are very visual and you really get a sense of the environment. You pitch promises quite the adventure and your first chapter doesn't disappoint. I like the shfit in tone between the prologue and C1. Great job, the work you put into this is evident! I wish you the best of luck. Backed!

Tawn Anderson (Providence)

Hullo Chanette. Good story line and follow up. Just one small comment. I realize that it not the same everywhere but,...the word 'handicapped' really belongs in a golf game rather than to describe a human condition. In golf a handicap is intended to slow a players progress in the game. In real life, people with 'disabilities' are not slow and do not wish to be slowed down by a 'handicap'. No offence intended simply illustration. Please take a look at mine.

Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Hi Chanette, The outset suggested a treacherous atmosphere and then the use of Leap Rock after its history was well-depicted in the police station. I was caught into this place even though I wasn’t sure that it was in South Africa at first. In the house she’s inherited, her interior thoughts are very keen and establishe her revengeful mood even as she’s inherited a place for recovery. Much atmosphere, driven writing, and portentous in the early chapters. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

I jumped in and read your chapter 6. The first sentence -- tell me what type of stack -- but other than that I thought you painted a relevant sense of place, and I could follow the scenario, even reading out of context. I liked your use of dialogue and the small details (dentures not fitting) as an example.

There is some passive voice -- watch out for "had", "was" and "that".

"And now this beach brat has finished blather" -- I didn't understand that line.

I think I wanted one or two sentences more in the last paragraph. A transition from standing to "drove back" -- I never saw her get in the car and in the next sentence you're refering to the house almost like she's arrived. I'd give a quiet moment or two of actual transport, but I did like the last two lines. Nice ending that makes you want to know what's in the next chapter.

Good luck with this.

Crux Cove is a village worthy of an Agatha Christie mystery--so many strange and ominous characters, so much pretense, so many secrets. The South African setting gives it even more allure. I'm very interested to see where you take this. The pitch makes Lily out to be the MC, but Lily seems too hurt and bitter to unravel the mystery. Maybe Gus, or even Fortune? Hard to say now. Maybe this won't turn out to be a mystery at all and the case (s) never will be solved. Just have to wait and see, I guess. Anyway, you've got me hooked. Happy to back this.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

Chanette, your pitches are very strong and effective. Two small points, 'alleviates the situation' should perhaps be 'alleviate the situation' and 'knows far more than she let on' possibly 'knows far more than she lets on' would be better.
Romance with a dark edge or a crime thriller with a romantic strand, this works very well in either guise, I commend your skill as a writer in carrying out this task so well. Cross-genre books are difficult to get 'right' and this one certainly works.
Plenty of suspense, a broad time-scale, excellent characterisation, oh yes and a wonderful cover and title. Backed.
Jared
Mummy's Boy.

LEAP TIDE:

Chanette,

This is an excellent pitch. Laden with drama and conflict and intrigue. You are clearly a born story-teller.

Apart from this gift you also have the gift of drawing your reader into the heart of your main character, through dialogue and introspection. The descriptions of the sea and the cliffs, Lily's new home and the surrounding terrain are outstandingly vivid and atmospheric, almost poetic in their lyricism.

Altogether a delightful read, and I have great pleasure in backing it.

Best wishes, and good luck with the English translation,

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Your pitch is a very attractive outline for an exciting and interesting plot with an unusual main character. You start of by taking us into the heart of the plot, with Maya on the top of Leap Rock, ending up crouching in fear before the someone who has arrived. Possibly this is Ben, according to the facts later recorded by the police. Or possibly Casey? Then you go back to build up a series of previous deaths, and you introduce Sergeant Gus Niemand, an idiosyncratic and enjoyable detective who adds a lot to the interest of the book. In the next chapter, you let us meet Lily, a woman who's been hurt in different ways, and is considering her options. A feisty heroine who thinks one of her options may be hiring a hitman to deal with her unfaithful ex-husband. This is unusual and rivetting, and it's clear that Lily is someone to relate to, someone it's a pleasure to spend time with. I'm enjoying this book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Just wanted to inform you that I read the first chapter of Leap Tide and there's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. Well crafted and suspenseful. I hope to get back and read more but there are so many here, so many writers vying for attention, it might take a little while. Wish you all the best.

Mark Edward Hall

This is a really good read, intriguing and full of suspense. I live near the sea and I smelled the brine reading this. You do chraracter well and the dialogue flows appropriately. There is passion but not sentimentality. Good luck with this, Jim D Serpent's Blood

Psychology, imagery, and emotion all deftly intertwined by an author inching ever forward, like a crocheting craftswoman weaving a wonderful tapestry, stitch upon stitch, line upon line. For the wall above the shelf.

LEAP TIDE: I stumbled across this, and what a marvelous tale it is! I see a couple folks before me have offered constructive critique, which saves me from having to go back and make any notes. ;-) Thus, I'll just say that the mood and mystery of this story is wonderfully intriguing, and thoroughly engaging. I want to know what is behind all these deaths, all the hush hush, all the dark hints of family entanglements and old, painful secrets. Your sense of place is excellent, too, and with every paragraph, I could almost hear the distant rumble of the sea, and feel the dampness of the air and stones. Your characters are well realized, also, and I very much like Lily and Gus, such different personalities, but each a thread leading the reader deeper into the story.

Moody, haunting, intriguing and unique, this is a rare and pleasant find. Backed with greatest pleasure!
Cheers ~

G. M. Atwater
Nobody's Knight

This has a stunning cover, love it. The opening is incredible and represents one of the places I love, by sea. Your descriptions are excellent especially this one: hungry water that churned and beckoned, completely brilliant. Brilliant pitch that makes you want to read on. Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

SHELVING you because Tim did. I can use your comments on my book when you can get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

A great piece of mood writing. It is a good story with the setting put over in a great way. One almost feels the urge to jump into the sea, I am backing this book and know it will go all the way. Take a look at my offering, Three Stayed Home a WW2 adventure and love story, I hope you will enjoy it as I did your book. JohnJ

Hi Chanette,

Backed. Great premise! And I'm taking you up on your offer of seeking comments.

Stumbled across your book while posting a thank you to AlleJo, and paused to take a peek. It was the title and jacket cover that first drew me. Good selection as they did their job of attracting prospective readers.

The next critical hurdle is the opening paragraphs. Here I had a slight problem. You have all elements here, they just need a little rearranging.

I would move the second paragraph and use it as the opening paragraph.

May I suggest something like:

Maya was only vaguely aware of the pounding surf. Over the roar of crashing waves, silent screams drifted up from the jagged rocks below. The crevices, the tangle and swirl of kelp at the foot of Leap Rock eventually gave up the bodies of its victims, but Maya knew their tortured souls still clung to jagged rocks like eternal graffiti.

My reasoning is this:

Reefs are found further out in the water not at the base of a cliff. Same for starfish.

Coral, I’m not sure you should use this. Although some corals do grow in cold waters, I think they can only be found in deep waters and not at the water’s edge.

Readers (and you’ll find there are a number of them) love to find the smallest of errors and point them out.

Of course these are just my opinion and you should accept or reject as you see fit.

Best of luck.

Ray All Aboard for Murder

Liked it, no nit picks, backed it,
Good luck
John

Chanette
This is very well written, and compelling from the start..I made a couple of notes....I thought the word 'even' lent a passive voice occassionally.....

But the rest of Brandon’s life had been over (even )before her arrival.

.......... he might (even) be able to reach an understanding of cause and effect. There was (even )an outside chance he might become a good police officer,

Perhaps (even) two.

Initially i thought it was perhaps a word you say alot, and write unconciously......But wasn't so sure when I got to the closing paragraph of chapter one.......

Even though his ulcer gave him hell. Even though Crux Cove chilled him to the bone. Even though his gut feeling warned him he had encountered a fair share of lies today........

vis a vis

His ulcer gave him hell, Crux Cove chilled him to the bone. And his gut feeling warned him he had encountered a fair share of lies today. (this sounded more definitive to me)......????

Shelved a great read....

Wonderful, wonderful and more wonderful!
Backed.
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.

Excellent writing - at last! Backed with pleasure. It read very well to me and I was hooked by the story and characters. Descriptions are great - the imprint on the starfish etc was a brilliant passage and way to start the story. Good luck. BACKED!

Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

The expression of inner thoughts and feelings will draw readers into this plot. The sharp focus on the initial locale might be widened a bit with some description of surrounding sights, e.g., a road, hills, the turbulance of the sea seen at a great distance, a nearby village. Backed. Good luck, Chuck (Paperboy Adventures)

Can't think of anything clever or original to say. Good on ya. Backed.

I'd be happy to read more of this. If you want anything in particular, just ask.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

I love this as well and can't believe you haven't landed an agent. The tension, suspense, and the manner in which you flsh out your characters is about as good as it gets.

Happy to back you.

Rodney

I loved it.

Stunning writing and a really complex, well thought out plot.

Your writing flows wonderfully, it was a real pleasure to read your work.

Great work that I can see winding up on the Ed's desk.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

Rich with atmosphere and riveting, concrete detail, like the brilliant 'salt and mussels and
moulding vegetation.' This is all fascinating - Crux Cove, Gus and the mystery.

I'd like to suggest you go through it for occasional redundancy (slammed the receiver down - take out
'in irritation'; it slows the pace. If he strokes his moustache, we see it as thoughtful and are more engaged than if the action is then explained). I'd like to suggest you check the construction of some of the sentences, for clarity and to make them more direct.

You can also take out distancing words, such as 'He knew', for example - and just keep 'He would have to learn to get along...' and use a contraction for 'He'd have to get along with Fortune and...' to keep it conversational and in Gus's voice.

Some weak words like 'vaguely aware' don't let your strong, active words make their full impact.

A wonderfully promising, engaging read.

Best,

AlleJo

A but hard to keep the track, but apart from that a great story, but dont worry it might be my problem with my english. backed

shah