The Spinner's Apprentice

The Spinner's Apprentice is an imaginative tale which is sure to enchant readers of the fantasy genre. The synopsis is intriguing and what I read from the narrative leaves me wanting more. I look forward to seeing the complete work. Backed with enthusiasm.

This is an excellent idea, the opening is also wonderful and just drips with magic. Very nicely written, it takes you immediately back to a time of magic and fairies. It has a wonderful feeling and flow to it and was genuinely a joy to read. Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

If you like magic and mythic imagery, this is the book. Old women spinning; gypsy carts; this pitch is enticing. I think YA will identify with Aura a lot, they'd like to think they're like her. Who wouldn't? Backed. lynn

Excellent writing.
There is a sense of rhythm in the prose that makes the story flow at an excellent pace. The story is gripping, and the initial premise is quite unique as well. The intro is written in a wonderful way that conveys the nostalgia and pathos of an old woman remembering her times. The sense of magical mystery, combined with a real, gritty sense of adventure (also with good tension) reminds me of when I first read the Last Unicorn.
You wrote that you're open to critiques, but at this stage I don't have much to criticize. The only thing I can say is that once the story is finished, going through the story carefully and tweaking some of the sentences will take out some grammatical or spelling errors, and maybe improve the pacing even further.
Really looking forward to how this goes on.

P.S Just one thing, in your pitch it should be "accept," not "except." FYI.

I was instantly drawn in from the prologue. i really felt for the old woman and you made the characters so real it was easy to connect with them. Well done. The story flowed perfectly and I am eager to read more.

Backed and starred with pleasure.

Lesley-Ann (Ezeldren Spirit of Ezereth)

I like reading the work. A repetition of "I ...." starting a few paragraphs in the prologue might be examined. Backed if my computer will let me. Chuck

A very interesting and unique idea, I love the idea of the stories / prophecies being woven in cloth by an oracle. I love the world and folklore you have created for this story. It is a very engaging start, with some great dialogue. I think you have the makings of a great story here.
Best of luck
Rachael
(Dreamscape)

This is wonderful, your writing has such a magical feel to it and that brings your story to life. I could feel this. The descriptions and the characters are very memorable and add to this. Your book is a prime example of why I love the fantasy genre. You immerse us into a new world and make it feel real, like it's a place I can go. I'll remember this one, it has the feeling of a book that will linger. Good luck with it!

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Hi Nichole, I've really enjoyed reading chapter one. i made a few notes:
repetition of 'she knew' and 'she knew it.'
'tapped her fingers impatiently' (scrap the adverb, it's not needed -- her gesture of tapping the tree as she waits shows us her impatience)
I really liked 'physical version of air' and 'Quince the rogue on a bad day'
The dialogue between Aura and Ganeff is lovely.
Backed with pleasure, Good luck
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

Nicole, this is beautiful. Your opening is stunning. The spinner is drawn to perfection.

Truly among the best.

THE MIND SETTER

You have written a very interesting and unique storyline, which I do like, and created a most memorable main character in Aura. The dialogue is realistic and well written and the pace of your story flows well. All of this along with your descriptive writing ensures that your fantasy will appeal to the YA audience. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Very nice. a poetic prologue that I can hear as a narration to the start of your story on the big screen.

I'm a big fan of fantasy, obviously, and this is a book I could curl up at a fire with. Magic aplenty, and two adept heroes in a magical wood. Great start to the story, and a nice hook at the end with the unknown lights.

"Rover's cannot live without profit." should the apostrophe be there?

Anyway, backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

The Spinner's Apprentice is an imaginative tale which is sure to enchant readers of the fantasy genre. The synopsis is intriguing and what I read from the narrative leaves me wanting more. I look forward to seeing the complete work. Backed with enthusiasm.

Very good story and writing style. You have talent.

I intive you to read or comment on The Rebel, a YA fanasty.

God Bless,
Chipper

Love the storyline, and your pitch is very enticing. Read Chapter One, and other than a few typos, found it interesting and very-well written. Will definitely be back to read more. In the meantime, shelved!

April Ikner
(Spell)
(In Chains)

Dear Nicole White,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I was attracted to your story because fate is an interesting belief in how it complicates morality. How can we blame or reward someone for acts they were fated to do in the first place? You begin with the visual and sensation of the threads of fate, which must be lighter and more glossy than silk. I appreciate the sounds you include of the shuttle weaving. The protagonist has partly lost her sense of self in all the stories she has woven. Her doubt of her memories hints at her age and long years of weaving. Next we’re introduced to Ganeff, the unstealthy thief. The mimicked lines of the father are good, such as “we’re not always well liked, but we are well off”. “Father only gave us two day’s leave” is too obviously exposition; however, you could imply it by having her reckon they have enough time for the day’s hike back to father before he’d start missing them. I grinned at, “I’m not out of shape…I just can’t breathe”. “You know of the dangers” is another dialog line which doesn’t work because it sounds like it’s more for the reader’s benefit. Again, you can get away with it if you instead imply the statement with a more detailed one, such as a joke, like “Unless you want to tempt a Wood Wisp to dance on your nose while you sleep”. I’m sure you’ll think of something better. “Whatever they are, they know we’re here” is a good creepy line. But how does he know that? By the way the lights move? That’d be a visual worth spelling out.

I’m impressed that you’re only twenty-one. Keep working on that dialog and you’ll have a bright future in words. Bravo! Backed, and best wishes.

Nicole,
Not my kind of read, but the writing is to my untrained eye, Flawless.
Well done,
MickR - The Nightcrawler

If you like magic and mythic imagery, this is the book. Old women spinning; gypsy carts; this pitch is enticing. I think YA will identify with Aura a lot, they'd like to think they're like her. Who wouldn't? Backed. lynn

This is an excellent idea, the opening is also wonderful and just drips with magic. Very nicely written, it takes you immediately back to a time of magic and fairies. It has a wonderful feeling and flow to it and was genuinely a joy to read. Backed with pleasure.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

very nice! good, smooth writing and sharp characters. Good job!

First sorry about the delay between the backing and the comments!

There is a great flowing rhythm to your prose. I wish you had created more intense hooks into the start of the piece, this gives a little insight into the plot, adds a little sparkle and also stops premature closure to the storyline. Very well written, good use of sensory predicates. – Good luck

SHELVING you because Tim did. I can use your comments on my book when you can get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

Welcome to Authonomy. As you're beginning to learn, there are all kinds of critters lurking here. Be warned about the swap readers, they don't always return the read or the backing.

Very imaginative and ably written novel. Is she making the Emperor's new clothes? Great for young readers.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

A fantasy novel aimed at the YA readership where the pitch starts with 'In the Land of Telltale' has to be worth looking at. Excellent pitches, well conceived and set out. The opening has intrigue and a sense of magic about it and you have evident ability as a writer of descriptive passages. "Traveler' - should be 'Traveller' but apart from the very occasional typo this is very polished and professional writing.
I've read three chapters and this is a work of great imagination, very well written and with a main character in Aura who has such spirit and resourcefulness she will have a wide appeal, particularly to a YA readership. In chapter three, 'heard of Ganderbest' should be 'herd of Ganderbeast.' Backed.
Jared
Mummy's Boy.

Nichole,

The Spinner's Apprentice - an enchanting opening brings us to Aura and Ganeff, the Rover friends who enjoy a banter. You might want to tighten their dialogues, although the pace works, broken by the appearance of a Fey rider coming though the dark wood, and the mysterious cart in his wake.
The writing sings and shimmers as much as the threads of the story. You might look for expressions that repeat within your text during a future edit. The writer's trance, happens all the time. Backed with pleasure.

Pia (Course of Mirrors)

Interesting pitch and beginning. I didn't have a lot of time to read everything but what I did read showed great promise. Wonderful flow in your wording. I loved the prologue with the older woman looking back and the rhythm in which you do it. When it switched to the younger version, the language sounded younger also. Well done. Backed.
Jenny

Excellent writing.
There is a sense of rhythm in the prose that makes the story flow at an excellent pace. The story is gripping, and the initial premise is quite unique as well. The intro is written in a wonderful way that conveys the nostalgia and pathos of an old woman remembering her times. The sense of magical mystery, combined with a real, gritty sense of adventure (also with good tension) reminds me of when I first read the Last Unicorn.
You wrote that you're open to critiques, but at this stage I don't have much to criticize. The only thing I can say is that once the story is finished, going through the story carefully and tweaking some of the sentences will take out some grammatical or spelling errors, and maybe improve the pacing even further.
Really looking forward to how this goes on.

P.S Just one thing, in your pitch it should be "accept," not "except." FYI.